Thread 213803688

Why didnt Aragorn just pump and dump?

>>213803688 (OP)
>have a go at the bint that probably fucked half the stable already
Aragorn knew.

>>213803688 (OP)
That would not be a Christian thing to do (LotR is a deeply Catholic work)

>>213803973
Gandalf could easily cure any STDs he caught

I finally rewatched these after these after taking a few years off from my yearly rewatches, and Aragorn is somehow even more kino than I remembered
I really need to get into my aragorn is literally me period. But It'd have to be authentic and real and I'm just not there yet.

>>213803688 (OP)
sexuality doesn't exist in the LOTR universe

>>213804324
>implying sam and frodo didnt use eachothers asses as handwarmers on that cold mounain

>>213804321
>But It'd have to be authentic and real and I'm just not there yet.
That realization is a good first step though.

>>213804346
ON THIS BOARD SAM IS A HETEREOSEXUAL HOBBIT WHO LOVED FUCKING HIS PLUMPER WIFE, END OF STORY

>>213803688 (OP)
He didn't want to corrupt a good hearted trad girl, really a kingly move.
Now if she was one of the todays cum-gargling slut-whores I'm sure he still wouldn't hit that because Aragorn has standards

>>213804420
>webm
what do these expressions want to convey

>>213804324
acktually it does orcs were first made through rape/torture

>>213804244
YOU SHALL NOT TEST POSITIVE

>>213804420
I kekd at the twist

>>213803688 (OP)
He’s married you silly billy. Plus he’s king of all men basically, not a good idea to sow resentment between men and elves

Shouldn't Aragorn have an obligation to spread his numenorean seed as far as possible?

>going from elf pussy that smells magical to some ugly bitch who smells like horse piss
I wonder

>>213805798
Pretty sure they had showers in Rohan

>>213805758
>thin the bloodline
Shalom!

>>213805852
>Pretty sure they had showers in Rohan
Yes, it's called sitting underneath a urinating horse.

>>213803688 (OP)
Because unlike gurm furiously typing asking why women don't want to fuck is OC donut steel, Tolkien realized Aragorn wasn't good enough for Eowyn so he's stuck with the human-fetishist pervert elf that stayed in her room gooning during the entire crisis while Faramir gets the prime grade-A human pussy that stands up to hell beasts

>>213803973
She never fucked.

>>213804244
That certainly would be Ian McKellan's first magical priority.

>>213803688 (OP)
She was a child to him.

>>213803688 (OP)
>>213804324
Sexuality exists but they are monogomous and not promiscuous. Samwise returns homr, marries his crush and has thirteen kids with her. They stay together until she passes. You can see how far society has degenerated when the idea of long-term monogamy is confusing, strange, and certainly not the default like it used to be.

>>213807226
Aragorn is only into 3000 year old hags

Elves age super slowly he would have to pay child support until he died.