Saw picrel on Netflix and it was pretty good

>>213857027 (OP)
Chris watts thread

>>213857027 (OP)
>Oil I know, officer, is that wife and those kids are oil I have. It's a barrel of laughs every time we have chicken nuggies for dinner. Now they're gone and I don't know what oil do. I'm getting oil choked up about it. I feel like a total ass. Butt anyway, I gotta split, I got two tickets to the 'tallica concert and Nicho- I mean, my friends are waiting for me. Send me a DM on Xbox Live or whatever if you find them kids and that wife. Peace.

Realistically, how could he have better handled his TV debut?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBB6mnS8rds

>>213857523
he should stop laughing for one, also the references to the oil drums came out of no where, referring to his wife as 'that dead bitch' and his children as 'those little shits' was probably not a good idea, also that bit where he made choking motions and started screaming 'I KILLED MY CHILDREN AND MY WIFE AND BURIED THEM IN AN OIL DRUM!' that was pretty bad. really if he had just not done any of that he probably could have escaped suspicion.

>>213857027 (OP)
Not a doc, but chris dropped his small press poetry book 'Sometimes tenders are not tender at all" just last week.

>yeah wow epoch just launched so im pretty busy leveling my rogue. currently in ungoro fighting those nasty fire elementals at a volcano. anyways if you see my family throw me a /w

>>213857858
This had something to do with it, but I think it was more how the tv started playing the documentary about how he murdered his wife and kids while he was talking to the cop about not doing that very thing.

>>213858001
>hire a film crew to follow you around and record you killing your family while doing jackass style pranks and physical stunts
>act surprised when the documentary you shot airs on tv
dumbass really did bring it on himself

>>213857027 (OP)
abducted in plain sight

>>213858065
did you see his nightmare board? you gotta find it on the darkweb... pretty rough counter to shananan's dream board. It is carved in diamond plate and depicts volcanoes on the moon and him and his lady in assless chaps and space helmets on the moon. Crazy shit. I thought about getting it as a back piece.

>>213857858
Not to mention laughing his ass off for 10 minutes straight.

>you are chris watts
>today is the day you kill your family
>you shove your daughters in the car next to the corpse of their mother
>you drive together in silence to the work site
>your daughters are in front of you, sitting in the back seats of your car
>you wrap your hands around one daughter’s neck
>her neck is fragile and bony, like a kitten, yet tough enough to really sink your fingers into
>you squeeze down on her neck
>she starts to panic
>tiny child hands slapping and clawing at your strong arms
>her bladder releases onto the car seat
>eventually her struggles fade
>she now lies barely alive next to her sister who saw everything
>you shift in the back seat and prepare to strangle your other daughter
What the FUCK was his problem?
They found oil in the girls’ lungs too, meaning they weren’t dead when he stomped on their tiny bodies to fit them through the 20” oil tank opening.

>>213858257
poor planning. Urine is a bitch to get out of a car seat.

>>213858120
>Villains whose motives are a mystery and seem almost insane at times

>>213858165
lmfao

>>213858257
Here is what I do as chris watts: Buy a pitbull and wait a month or two. Easy peasy.

>>213858304
>well, it wasn’t going to suck itself

>>213857027 (OP)
Ass Drunk

>>213858429
she has that sorta face you just wanna fuck in the ass.

>>213858165
just looked it up, Chris is a legit outsider artist, dude needs to be given a grant and allowed to work on his art full time

>>213858429
>5 head
>awful plucked eyebrows
>crows feet and wrinkles around mouth
all though
>big tiddy
>big booty
>willing to let you stick in her butt
bitch needs to grow some bangs, let her eyebrows grow back and watch a makeup tutorial on youtube and she'd be a nice solid 8/10

dunno if she'd be worth life in prison tho

Raw, Next Question

>>213858678
Shannan had prettier face. Thats a fact.

>>213858165
lol

>>213858603
Make sure you look at the picture taken from the back of the nightmare board... it has wrist straps and the simple phrase "NO MORE' crudely etched in ketchup on it. It was his shield!

>>213858257
having daughters seems pretty bad, but ugly ones? fuck.

The Tillman doc is pretty good

>>213858823
amazing, really allegorical the sacred and the propane

>>213858811
>brown swimsuit
he was putty in her buttcrack

>>213858257
>They found oil in the girls’ lungs too, meaning they weren’t dead
eh, couldn't the lungs still get fluid in them if they're floating or submerged in oil, or in something else, without them breathing?

The Christmas home video where he comes inside in the Santa suit with that dead eyed hollow retard stare, he's stumbling over himself all hunched over for some reason, shanaan immediately starts nagging him for his phone and he just looks at her with that empty eyed gaze, that's one of my favorites. He's slack jawed in confusion as she just pesters and annoys him even as he abides by her every retarded wish. It was never enough. You can see it in his lifeless soulless bug eyes. He could've made a million dollars a year, rammed her with a 12 inch cock, and given in to her every insane whim, and she'd have found a reason to bitch at him.

>>213858880
i don't know the complete case, but what happens if he just abandoned his family and ran away?

>>213858933
And why didn't the eagles just take him and the bodies to Mount Doom? Because that wasn't the lord's joke, dipshit.

>>213858880
>eh, couldn't the lungs still get fluid in them if they're floating or submerged in oil, or in something else, without them breathing?
Nope, not when the body is found within hours of the murder.

>>213857027 (OP)

>>213858933
Bitch takes him to court and gets away with half of everything he owns if not more.

>>213858963
Huh?

>>213858933
>if he just abandoned his family and ran away?
Don’t be unrealistic. That plan would never work.
His volcano idea was much better.

>>213859016
that's less fucked up than killing your family

>>213858970
Shanann looks really hot in this picture.
Fertility idol tier.

>>213859044
He had to improvise, okay? He didn't have time to prepare to the drive to the volcano.

>>213859044
feminist. TOGTFO

>>213857523
he should've nodded and smiled more to build more trust in the reporters

>>213859086
i wonder if the mistress would've still be him if he divorced Shannan and try to live a new life together.

>>213859082
as the saying goes, you cannot make an omlette without oil and dispatching at least one embryo

>>213859071
my life would be so much easier if i liked fat women like you do

>>213858811
wow i really am gay, women are nasty if this is supposed to be hot

>>213859144

>>213859215
i like young skinny women

>>213859215
cute, but annoying as all hell.

if your woman try to be an "influencer", it's time to go

>>213859215
>those stupid caffeine patches from her goddamned MLM bullshit scam she got suckered into and forced Chris to go along with it because she couldn't admit she made a mistake
guy was wired 24/7 because of those stupid patches, probably contributed more than people realize

>>213859285
bitches are too stupid for the Internet, it broke them

>>213857027 (OP)
Has anyone watched the Amazon doc about the Idaho murders?

>>213859314
This looks embarrassing in hindsight, but chris wouldn’t be capable of even this.
His board would just say ANAL. Probably smeared in his mistresses’ poop.

>>213859295
it very well could've deprived him of sleep long enough that it set off some sort of psychotic episode, that makes more sense then saying "well he just silently snapped one day and no one knows why". Plus once you're psychotic you're still being forced into fight-or-flight by the 1000mg of caffeine in you

>>213859381
the so named "nightmare board" would be a sight to behold

>>213859295
He used them to cover nugget welts. The man was covered in boot, bone, bell and ball shaped bruises. If a true movie was to be made from his perspective leading up to the family annihilation, it would not be unlike the Passion of the Christ.

>bodies?

can I get some quick volcano facts

>>213859818
they are naturally occuring hot puckered orafices.

>>213858165
All chals are assless

>>213860079
did you know frankenstein was the name of the doctor, and not your ugly fucking mother?

Anons, maybe it's just me but I don't like any crime documentaries that involve murder/rape/abuse etc. Just gimme dumb crimes where nobody gets hurt (Tinder Swindler, Sweet Bobby, Scam Mom...)

>>213860119
Did you know you can avoid being wrong by just being right

>>213860123
I like TC best when the killer is both an idiot and gets caught quickly.

>@Grook are there any volcanoes near my house?

>>213859082
He could have avoided prison by constructing a catapult ahead of time.

>>213860183
assless chaps is more descriptive and everyone knows your factoid.

>>213860236
Hurry up and put your PIN number in and move on

>>213860224
Look at the goofy smile. He’s too high from the poop fumes wafting up from his poop covered weiner to know where he is.

>>213860291
go fuck yourself with a stick. Asshole.

>>213859348
Any anons seen this? I'd like to know if it's worth watching too?

>>213859818
The word “volcano” comes from the Roman name “Vulcan”.
Approximately 350 million people live within “danger range” of an active volcano.
Magma and lava are two different things!
The loudest sound in recorded history was made by a volcano called Krakatau.

>>213860691
>The loudest sound in recorded history was made by a volcano called Krakatau
Nature is so fucking awesome bros...

>>213859314
bitch was literally psychotic

>>213858678
This...
>bitch needs to grow some bangs, let her eyebrows grow back and watch a makeup tutorial on youtube and she'd be a nice solid 8/10
Also this...
>>213858429
>Ass Drunk

>>213858811

>>213859314
>I've Realized How Strong I Am
that's exactly what Chris was thinking when he felt when Bella's neck popped under his fierce grip

>>213859314
>I am...
>I am...
>I am...
This is classic narcissistic personality disorder

>>213857027 (OP)
Ctrl+Alt+Desire+ on paramount plus about the guy who killed his family to be with the camwhore he simped thousands of his parents money to. Same meme style as chris watts. The documentary goes way more in depth on his reasons and motivations than the YouTube videos do.

>>213862580
>Ctrl+Alt+Desire
Kinda disrespectful to name it that innit

>true crime docs
what are you, a woman? Just watch good youtube channels. That Chapter, Coffeehouse Crime, Casual Criminalist, Disturban, This Is Monsters, Lazy Masquerade, Kyoto Robato for Jap shit, Evil Intentions for NYC stuff, Dire Trip, High Time Crime(he's kind of spergy but his videos have gotten way better recently), Lazy Chill Zone and his true crime channel. Criminally Listed is also good I've been watching him for years but his monotone voice might put you off if you're a raging faggot like I assume you are

The Staircase

>>213862812
>what are you a woman?
>That Chapter
lol

>>213857027 (OP)
>So I just...
>Throw it all out when I'm done?

>>213857027 (OP)
Adolescence

>>213862812
that's one of the most feminine lists you could have written

>>213859314

>come home from working 12 hours with a t0 minute commute
>barely manage the strength to change before walking into bed
>see this

>>213857858
>he should stop laughing for one
But how since it's so funny?

>>213858120
There is an insane level of innocence at the place and time of this documentary. No one in that town could even conceive of a sex predator. The FBI agent had never even heard of a pedo! The guy sucks him off just because he thinks he's helping out his friend. Makes you wonder what sort of insane shit modern people can be manipulated into because they have no prior basis or fear of it.

>>213863117
lil stinkers is all ya need

>>213858257
He didn't have the makings of a varsity serial killer

>>213859314
>5 years Chris to retire
Man, they were really the perfect pair of dysfunctional retards together. It was only ever gonna end one way. Imagine even considering this a remote possibility in their situation. Drowning in debt, 2 kids, a giant mcmansion you were never able to afford, neither of you completed college, neither of you have long term prospects, new cars outside, mountains upon mountains of debt. I can't even.

>>213857248
Chris Watts honestly had no choice. Put yourself in his shoes. his girlfriend would literally spread her big brown poop hole and get it nice and stretched out so he could lube his weiner up with her butt cream and she would plop it down on that weiner and ride it till it made a fart vacuum in her butt cavity that literally would suck the sperm juice from his balls. He was so ass drunk after that he killed his family with his smelly poop wiener in his pants

>>213863055
>>213863117
lmao chicks like these channels? i thought they were only into "true crime girly" channels where some vapid bitch is doing their makeup while talking about a mainstream crime lol. am i actually a bitch? the fuck are you guys watching?

>>213859215
What do you call this type of smile. It's almost like a sneer. I've never met someone with this type of smile who wasn't annoying.

>>213863833
It’s just a cute smile for a selfie. There is nothing sinister about it.

>>213863740
Anon, how disconnected from reality are you?

>>213857027 (OP)
>>213857248
Is Chris a Local Burner or a Global Freezer?

>>213863833
Social media fake smile.

The original goat. Completely available on youtube, or used to be.

>>213866024
quick qrd on this bad boy?

>>213864747
Observe that he was not prepared to travel far for a volcano. It had to be local.

>>213867187
oh shit, you're right. someone should send a burn local hat to his jail po box

arf?

>>213857523
>I like these shirts A LOT
I love how he shows more emotion about his shirt than his kids. What an idiot lol

>>213859016
oh no she gets half of the house, better kill them and spend the rest of his life in prison

>>213862812
Good joke anon

>>213862812
>That Chapter
That faggot made me hate Irish "people"

>>213861968
We gotta add a little smug Pepe to the booty bottoms.

>>213868675
you literally don't get it, his original plan was infallible and he was going to get away with it too, it involved advanced assassination techniques and volcanos, high level shit. he was preparing to sell the house and move to mexico with his booty queen. problem is, on that fateful morning, shanananan got agressive and he had to rush things. that was his downfall.

>>213857027 (OP)
More like the family back door

>>213857523
I don't know if it is because I already know he did it but He looks so fucking guilty here like it's so obvious he did it it's pathetic and laughable

>>213858880
No. If you're dead then there's no signal to expand lung and suck anything in.
Remember this for other cases: if there's a body found in water and the lungs don't have water in them, then they were obviously killed before entering the water.

On the other hand, the horror of this case is absurdly neverending.

>>213858257
He suffocate them using a blanket over their face

>>213869324
>the horror of this case is absurdly neverending
True. I think that's what makes it so interesting. I like to clown on Chris and joke about it but it was really a horrible tragedy. But I think it's also important to have a sense of humor in life.

>>213859016
Well normal , those kids were his as well so why should he pay maintenance? If you don't wanna pay then keep you penis on your pant WHORE

>>213859285
She was making more money than him.They lived in a house that SHE bought.

>>213857248
Nice hi-jack of the thread, lol.

>>213857027 (OP)
Check out "CTRL-ALT-DESIRE"
The dude in it even helped plot an assassination on Ghost Adventures host Aaron Goodwin. He cried in court like a pussy kwab.