Thread 213890781

So I wrote my own:
>starts off with Jor-El packing something we can’t see
>Lara walks in with baby Clark asking if everything’s ready
>Jor-El misogynistically tells her to worry about Kal-El
>cut to Jor-El in a meeting room with important people of krypton explaining their dilemma
>yadda yadda suns gonna explode jargon jargon we need to evacuate in about 6 months
>all the officials are worried and writing notes asking questions
>suddenly an intern checks Jor-El’s calculations and realizes an error
>uhhh, sir…we’ve actually got 6 minutes…
>pause…
>cut to everyone panicking and rushing to escape pods etc
>Jor-El is pushing people of all ages and genders out the way
>we see a guy putting a puppy into a pod
>Jor-El sees someone trying to take the pod he prepared for Kal-El and punches him as he tries to squeeze himself in- “get your own!”
>Lara rushes and kisses Clark putting him in tears, she says there’s no more adult pods
>Jor-El’s eyes widen…but he accepts his fate- he kisses Clark and tells him make sure you bag all those earth chicks son, he shuts the pod and launches
>Jor-El’s brother appears and says phew, just sent Kara and Krypto off, good thing they’ll have each other
>Jor-El says yes, Earth should be great to them
>Jor El’s brother: Earth? I thought we were sending them to *insert random planet*
>Lara and Jor-El’s brother wife look at each other
>Jor-El:…aww f-
>planet expodes
>we see Clark’s pod narrowly escape the blast
>it ain’t me unironically starts playing as Clark’s pod traverses through space: SUPERMAN appears as he streaks by
>we get a montage of Earth’s history and particularly the rise of the United States and the discovery of metahumans…

Written in the James Gunn style obviously to keep the tone

wait there's seriously no origin story? superman isn't popular enough to not warrant one.

>>213890781 (OP)
Kara is obviously drunk when she gets into the pod. Some extra booze for the road

>>213891012
According to James Gunn Superman’s backstory is something we should never have to see again

>>213891061
He’s not wrong. Same goes for Batman and Spider Man

>>213890781 (OP)
>cont…
>montage ends as Clark’s pod descends into earth
>cut to John Kent working on his car as >It Ain’t Me plays on the radio, signing off key
>suddenly: BOOM
>nearly falls over
>WHAT THE #€}%
>rushes out to see Martha running over at the same time
>what was that?
>John says I don’t know maybe the commies finally struck (or whatever proxy war us was in during this time period)
>John cocks his shotgun and tells Martha to stay back
>slowly approaches the crash and sees crater
>what in tarnation?
>smokes clears and pod opens up, baby Clark is wailing
>martha asks what is it?? John says a damn baby Martha!
>Martha is shocked and rushes over, immediately getting into the crater and nursing Clark
>John jokes about the stork delivering to the wrong address
>Martha gets up out the crater as Clark begins to calm down
>John looks unsure, he says well- we gotta find its parents-
>Martha oh stop it John this baby didn’t come from no human
>John says well we can’t keep him!
>Martha says we can help him out, just until, we find something ain’t that right Clark? Martha gives some info about how she was gonna be named Clark until her parents found out she was a girl
>John says you’re naming him?
>Martha says yes and we need to feed him, she asks John to drive out countryside to get baby food
>John says boy can’t eat deer? I’m sure he’s got a weird appetite…
>they walk off, Martha ecstatic and John hesitant, with Clark ass the music still plays dimly in the background

>>213891085
no one even knows how superman became superman. the only thing they should skip is him living on the farm. no one knows how superman became superman

>>213891085
hahaha what. no one knows how spiderman became spiderman. everyone only knows raimi's version which isn't even accurate.

>>213891407
>it ain’t me revs up again as we get a montage of Clark growing up, some shots of him showing his power for the first time like knocking John into a field playing catch or lifting the tractor to find a lost sheep, etc
>coincides with young pampered Lex who’s winning science fairs and making revolutionary discoveries at like 14 and stuff, balding.
>music stops again as Young Clark is sitting in front of TV watching a music video for Old Time Rock and Roll enamored
>John sits down with some popcorn and Clark asks what’s that
>John explains that’s it rock and roll yadda yadda the classics yadda yadda dad speak
>he asks Clark if he likes it
>Clark says not really, it needs some….hmmm
>Martha from the kitchen says soul
>Clark says nah, something, different.
>John scoffs and says rock and roll is rock and roll son, we aint got to change nothing
>it ain’t me revs up again as the montage shows Clark coming of age into his teen and adults years, getting into punk rock, going to school, writing stories, discovering the FOS, coincides with Lex building nobel peace prizes and robots heraled as the star of metropolis
>suddenly Superman articles written by Clark Kent begin to flood the montage talking about his noble deeds and undefeated streak etc
>we start to see Lex become more and more unbothered and eventually angry
>montage cuts to Superman defeating various villains including ones created specifically by Lex who’s frustrated he can’t win
>see him and Lois flirting, Lex becoming more obsessive dialing up his perfect plan, etc etc
>it ain’t me nears it ends as we cut to the artic exactly where the original film begins

>>213890781 (OP)
Come on man...

>>213891776
This is pretty much how the film is written

>>213891632
Nobody gives a shit! He gets bit by a spider and gets powers. All you need to know and move on with shit we haven’t before. We don’t need to see a rocket crashing into Kansas, Wayne’s getting killed for the 50th time, Uncle Ben getting killed

>>213891878
>Nobody gives a shit!

That’s the problem

>>213891061
>the whole krypton story (also related to zod and brainiac) is worthless
kek, capeshit is dead.

I'll do ya one better, OP:
>Fade in, wide shot of planet krypton in outer space on fire like Mustafar
>Finally explodes from the inside
>smash zoom on baby kal-el's pod yeeting across the void
>looks at camera like pic realted, staring out the window
>*record scratch*
>*freeze frame*
"Yep, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up here..."
>whoosh.mp3
>hard cut to a blurry jpg of Earth
"…well, buckle up, because that’s where things get WEIRD..."
>smash cut to a badly lit Kent family Polaroid of 4-year-old Clark screaming naked in the bathroom mid-potty-training meltdown
"WHOA! Okay, uh, maybe not THERE."
>*slide-whistle sound effect*
>slam transition into a Norman Rockwell painting of wholesome farm life, except Clark is in the background laser-eyeing a poor cow in half in diapers.
>"Nope..."
>ffwding through awkward teenage years (Ma catches him jerking off)
> "Uh, a little more..."
>ffwds more
>finally lands on the movie's actual opening
>"Ah. There we go. MUCH better."
>title card.jpg

I'll take my check in the mail, Mr. Gunn!

>>213891976
There is going to be backstory. Kara parents will be shown in the Supergirl movie and likely be more flash back stuff when Brainiac comes into the picture. Might even have it in Supergirl to set up for the next one

>>213892128
Based, unironically would have improved the film

>>213891632
Not acurate? Was it a centipede in the comics?

>>213892129
Oh WOW is there??? OMG I CANT HECKIN WAIT. look tf OUT cuz this superBITCH is flyin thru

>>213892128
extremely based, OP take notes

>>213892128
>no teenage wasteland playing
0/10, but otherwise thanks for the kek