Thread 213927848

Adapt it into a film

>>213927848 (OP)
>dark comedy lead by Phillip Seymour Hoffman about a /tv/ lurker who finally starts posting after being catfished by a femanon in a shill thread. he stinks up the board trying to impress this one woman's tastes, and gets permabanned. turns out it was a fat brownoid after all and Phillip Seymour Hoffman starts an X account.

Na.

psychosexual black comedy about a diverse gang of movie buffs going out to get laid using their kino knowledge

>>213927848 (OP)
Fight Club

its like blood meridian, unfilmable

Schindler's List was released in 1991

Already done.

>>213928104
this

>>213927848 (OP)
>Adapt it into a film
They already did big guy

>>213927848 (OP)
it's easy, you know
you only need to mix THE WHALE with phoenix JOKER and that's it

>>213927848 (OP)
hahahaha, no

>>213928104
they didn't say nigger once... lies

>>213928104
nope, this would be the disney version
>jannies-->agent smith

Scotland Yard, a team of three IT intelligence guys arei tasked with blocking 4chan in the UK. Everytime they block it, it pops up on another server. They have to contribute to the boards to get the latest news on how users get it back working once they’ve blocked it. The team grows fond of the boards and slowly become less and less normal. One quits and becomes a neet. The pair slowly become debauched, antisocial racist facial weirdos and plot a coup / mutiny over the Scotland Yard leadership. They livestream the coup and fuck it up somehow and go to jail, but not before posting their insane manifesto

>>213928372
>UK
>half of them are muslims

>>213927848 (OP)
>Anon journalist has a copy of Frazzledrip video
>he tries to meet up with Edward Snowden
>glowies tries to capture anon in an airport

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVxL-xOu_qA

>>213927848 (OP)
it would be an avant garde joint. part documentary, part acting, part animation, lots of different styles thrown together in a chaotic way, weird ambient soundtrack and lots of disturbing images for no reason. it would be unwatchable and considered a masterpiece by a small but vocal minority

4chan hacks Reddit and doxes the mods. The Antifa trans mods get mad and dox all 4channers and hunt them down. During one fight a trans and nazi start talking and getting to know one another. A romance blossoms, but the trans betrays the nazi, revealing they were a woman all along. The Nazi walks home in the rain with a Mcd’s thickshake singing an emo song to himself

>>213928104
Me on the left

Bollywood

>>213929107
who does gosling play?

IN A WORLD
>WHAM
>zooming in picture of the earth slowly overlaid with little electrical lights passing all over it
WHERE EVERYONE IS A NORMIE
>cut to some millenial faggot buying starbucks at a starbucks while tumblring on his zune
ONE MAN
>string orchestra starts in a minor chord, low
>black shot fades to dim light zooming in on a house
DARED
>jittery shakycam fast mostion cut towards the basement window with a dim flickering greenish light, back to slow mo zoom
TO BE
>strings intensify, horns join in and go Dun dun da DURR dURR
>a quick zoom through the window and focused on a room entirely filled with old fast food bags, empty cans, two liter bottles filled with old urine in various stages of brown
>UNKNOWN
>string orchestra begins to rise to a fever pitch
UNSEEN
>the shirtless man in boxers sitting in the broken office chair at a disastrous desk with several monitors on it, all with a few terminals open in riced linux mint with hexdump /dev/null/ running in them in various rainbow colors
BECAME
>he slowly turns his head as the orchestra gets ready to climax, his, angry eyes revealed, his furrowed brow, his le creepy grin, but what is that seeping out of it?
THE GAYEST FUCKING DUMBEST BLACKEST NIGGER FAGGOT KEK BITCH ON THE PLANET
>zoom in to his mouth as he projective vomits gallons of bloody, pussy, half digested cum onto the screen
>music cuts
>the bloody pussy cum drips down, with flecks of shit, revealing the title of the movie
OP
>one last string flouring and cut to black, and ghostly text flows onto the screen with heavily reverbed "oooo-oooo-oooo" lightly in the background
>the text reads:
only in theaters
get gay

>>213930193
Holy shit. y3llow gets filtered to pussy now?
test: yellow y e l l o w

moot on his quest to be the little girl

It stars Keanu Reeves, Nicolas Cage, and Ryan Gosling.
There is explosions, John Woo-tier gun fights, witty dialogue, fierce arguments over world ending consequences and menial shit, Arnold-tier one liners, high speed car chases with the hottest models straight off the Barret-Jackson auction lot, big tits and firm apple asses, all the women are hot, gun fu, sword fights, kaiju, space battles, aliens, demons, fist fights, Nazi's shown in a positive light, hot and tight teenage girls having a role for some reason, awesome villains that are stylish and cool with endless amounts of disposable bad guys, Israel is behind all the bad guys motives, Hitler plays a huge role, black characters are almost non-existent or they play minstrel roles, positive depictions of masculinity and feminity, there are about 300 anime and doujin adaptations, a long dialogue scene of The Joker that starts off with "We live in a society..." and goes from there, all conspiracy theories and secret societies are true, glowniggers are the bad guys pawns and gatekeepers, trannies are shown derisively and mocked, hot prolonged sex scenes, giant robot battles, more explosions, Ed Harris in a military uniform yelling at everyone, Greedo showing up and shooting first, hot sexy vampires, something to do with super computers, multiple nuclear attacks and explosions over India, China, and Israel, dominant and mature mommy milf characters oozing sex appeal with British accents both ballbusting and mercilessly flirting with the lead characters, Bill Murray is the bartender, Steven Seagal is the blues guitarist, exotic filming locations like tropical islands with beaches filled with naked women and monkey butlers serving cocktails with umbrellas and anon's basement with the most souped up computer rig money can buy, Steve Buscemi is the arms dealer, the hero has a loyal dog companion that offers morale boosts and last minute rescues.
Give me a budget and I'll give you 10 films; all blockbusters & sick merch.

A movie called "Anonymous Alcoholics"

4 male protags are shown in their various lives, each from a different board and economic class/lifestyle. Movie takes place over 1/1.5 days. At first each glance each character seems like a normal person in his own way but as the day progresses their degeneracy comes into sharp focus.
Intros:
/tv/ guy is shown in a clean apartment having a beer while watching a movie. Camera pans to collection of liquor bottles in kitchen and clock reading 4:00am.
/fit/ guy is shown finishing a set at the gym, sunrise just peeking up through the bay windows in the background. Next he's shown walking to his car post-shower holding a protein shake. Once in the driver's seat he adds copious Bacardi to it.
/r9k/ guy seems like a normal 19/20yo guy living with normal parents. They're having breakfast in a nice house. He returns to his trashed room that looks like the image of the steel reserve guy passed out at his computer. He cracks a beer as he sits down to his desk.
/biz/ guy, well dressed is doing morning team building exercises in a bright open concept office. He is clearly not having fun. When it's over he returns to his desk and takes a long pull from a flask.
They all eventually meet each other throughout the day and crazy night.

>>213930893
Next scenes:
/r9k/ hears his parents leaving for work. He gets up and looks out the window and watches both cars pull out of the driveway. He finishes his beer while getting dressed to leave and stuffs a few tallboys from his mini-fridge into a backpack, cracks a new one, and heads out.
/biz/ is at his work desk, someone pops by and reminds him of a meeting in 15min. He cheerfully thanks the person for the reminder yet instantly looks miserable as soon as they turn to walk away. He goes to the bathroom and finishes his flask in a stall and starts chewing a piece of gum.
/fit/ is shown in a busy intersection outside his car, which was rear-ended at red light, car needs to be towed. He's clearly nervous about the strong drink in the cupholder and his system. He's downplaying the incident to the very apologetic driver that hit him. They exchange info and decide they don't need police involvement. The tow truck arrives and after a brief interaction with that guy he starts walking.
/tv/ is shown sitting in the same place on his couch as last time, except now the sun is streaming in through the blinds. He's passed out, beer sideways on couch, wet spot evident from when it spilled. He slowly wakes up and goes to the fridge. After a brief glance he looks over his shoulder to the spilled empty and says "fuck."

>>213930193
Can somebody type this into an ai video generator and post it on /wsg/ and then crossboard link it here? Thanks.

>>213930916
Next scenes:
/fit/ is walking down the street muttering to himself, gym bag slung over shoulder. He's still sipping on his rum-filled protein shake. He stops and fishes around the bottom of the cup with the straw for the last bit. Annoyed, he looks around and then takes out his phone. Over his shoulder you see him search "liquor store."
/biz/ is in the meeting, looking especially despondent. The room is dimmed and they are watching a power point presentation. He looks forlornly at his watch. Slow pan to the ground to see his rapidly tapping foot.
/tv/ puts on a pot of coffee and then begins collecting drops from the liquor bottles on the kitchen counter into a highball glass. He gets about 1 shot from his efforts and drinks it, grimacing. He enters the bathroom and turns on the shower.
/r9k/ cracks a new tall boy as he walks down the street. He reaches his destination: a liquor store parking lot. He settles down on a nearby curb and sips his beer. A moment later he watches a man walk up to the store and attempt the door. It's locked. "They don't open until 9" he calls out. The guy turns around. It's /fit/. "You want a beer?" /r9k/ asks him.

>>213930943
Next scenes:
/tv/ now showered is finishing his coffee. He up-ends a few empty bottles to get a couple more drops in his gullet, his displeasure in the act is palpable. He dons an empty backpack and leaves the house.
/biz/ is listlessly typing away at his work terminal, a look of total defeat on his face. He pulls his empty flask out of his suit jacket pocket and gives it a shake, disgusted at how empty it is. He glances at his watch: 9:11am. He exhales deeply and rolls his eyes. A Cheerful coworker comes by his cubicle to ask what he's working on. His patience running thin, /biz/ silently stares daggers until coworker leaves.
/fit/ cracks a tallboy as /r9k/ stands up having just handed it to him.
>9am liquor store crowd, good people.
Says /r9k/, /fit/ agrees and they cheers their tallboy cans.
>What's your story?
>>Got rear-ended a red-light, car had to be towed. Half cut already. You?
>Parents think I still go to school.
>>Based. Sip.
>Sip.

>>213929239
One of the bogdanoff twins

>>213930893
>>213930916
>>213930943
>>213930957
/tv/ presents: DRUK: Origins

I would make it a tv show where it’s like x files. It would be monster of the week and each board would have its own themed monster. /tv/ would be CIA from dark knight, /r9k/ would be BO2cel and /a/ would be a loser weeb who kills people with his stench

>>213927848 (OP)
>get an offer to make 4chan into a film
>crazy ideas.png
>write script
>execs check it out, want meeting
>show up. Write 4CHAN in a chalkboard
>add an "$" at the end
>4CHAN$
>execs cream their pants
>movie comes out. huge success
>everyone now worships you
>mfw $ actually works

>>213932499
jej

>>213928372
Kino

>>213932036
It could get the Palme d'Or if executed correctly.

>>213927848 (OP)
Jesse Eisenberg is too old now

>>213927848 (OP)
a 3 hour feature length one-take film entirely shot from a top down view. i stand in the center of a giant, revolving ring on which several notable and attractive women like bryce dallas howard and christina hendricks sit upon and the ring rotates as i continually creampie each and every one of them. there are sponsored intermissions every 45 minutes that play in theaters that will go on for 30 seconds, to give my refractory period time to catch up, and where you can watch me on a split-screen with the ad still in real time as i play subway surfer

>In 2009, a teenager named Tim finds a site called 4chan and becomes part of its community
>In 2024, Tim, now known as Alice, is about to get married to her fiancé. She mulls whether to stop browsing the site that shaped her life, while reminiscing over her memories of it, including her favorite board /pol/

Dir Jane Schoenbrun

>The year is 2015
>Rex, Margo, Tyrone and Dan are four unpopular high schoolers who are united by their love of 4chan
>They find that by chance, Tom Hardy and Aidan Gillen are both shooting movies nearby their town
>The group hatch a plan to bring the two together and make the ultimate Banepost
>Armed with $25, Tyrone's Dad's car and the help of 4chan founder m00t (Glen Powell), will the group succeed or crash out - with no survivors?