Thread 213963937

This man approaches your table and demands that you take your hat off. What would you do?

There isn't a bee on it

I'd probably say oh sorry and do it, it's a reasonable enough request. I'm not familiar with the standards of fine dining.

>>213963961
Wouldn't you feel emasculated in front of your girl?

>>213963937 (OP)
It’s my hat, I’ll wear it where ever I want

>>213963990
Perhaps but that's not going to make me want to defend myself when I'm in the wrong

>take off hat
>put it on backwards

>>213963937 (OP)
I'd send him two orders of fried king prawns, a large portion of foie gras, four shots of rum, two piña coladas, and two beers to show there's no hard feelings.

"Oh my bad, I thought I left it in the car"
*takes off hat*

Mboooy are you fat

>>213963937 (OP)
i wouldn't be wearing a hat indoors anyway, like some balding asshole would.

>>213963937 (OP)
You won't do shit, pussy.

>>213963937 (OP)
shut up fat

>>213963937 (OP)
>Bro this is an Olive Garden in New Jersey not the Waldorf Astoria

>>213963996
But you are not in "wherever i want" land. You're on private property. If the dress code is "no hats" then that's the law of the land.

low key tony was just jealous he had an attractive woman with him right

Tell em I’m an ashkenootz

>>213964034
C'MON FAT

>>213963937 (OP)
Take off 60 pounds from your gut, fatso.

>>213964041
Dresscode in civilized society is 'No fats' and yet, here he is.

>>213963937 (OP)
No, I'm Jewish, it's symbolic of respect. I'm sure a guy like yourself can see the value there. Hope you enjoy your meal tonight!

It's trashy obnoxious behavior to wear a hat in any restaurant fancier than mcdonalds. I wouldn't do it in a chipotle or red lobster.

>>213963937 (OP)
>What would you do?

I would listen to what he had to say and that's what nobody else did.

I would immediately start doing fake sign language while my date giggles under her breathe

>>213963937 (OP)
sheeeeeeet

>>213963937 (OP)
Last I checked you weren't my boss, pal. So unless you want to take it outside I recommend your fat ass go back to your table for your sixth course

>>213963937 (OP)
Take it off and put it on his head instead :)

It was a joke

>>213963937 (OP)
leave my hat on and hope he beats me up until i cum

>oh my goodness gracious sir, sorry about that
>*takes off hat and puts it on his head*
>you really do need this more than I
>have you tried rogaine?

>>213963937 (OP)
Tell him to sit his fat fuckin greaseball ass down before I knock his lights out

Obviously a mob owned restaurant and some big well dressed wop comes up. So take the hat off.

>>213963937 (OP)
>I would say oh I'm so sorry about that
>Then I'd pretend to take my hat off
>Then I'd turn my hand into the bird and show him
>Start laughing at fatty

>>213963937 (OP)
I never have a hat on in a restaurant, I'm not an uncultured american swine.

>>213963937 (OP)
I'd apologise and offer him some gabagool to make up for it.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry"

>>213964453
Americans unironically ruined hats.

>>213964488
Sorry for what?

>>213964498
Our daddy taught us not to be ashamed of our hats.

>>213963937 (OP)
Take my hat off probably. I was in the wrong for wearing one indoors in a restaurant.

So much samefagging itt

>>213963937 (OP)
You need the hat more than me fatso here you go

>>213963937 (OP)
"Take if off? I’m the one wearing it, not you. You got a problem with the hat, that’s your problem, not mine. What, you think I’m gonna just... take it off 'cause you don’t like it?"

>>213964488
>>213964498
>>213964522

>>213963937 (OP)
I wouldn’t be wearing a hat in doors

>>213963937 (OP)
Rape him on the spot

>>213964492
>*tips fedora*

>>213963937 (OP)
tell him to look behind him then hide my hat while he's not looking. Then convince him I was never wearing a hat at all and that he's an insane schizo.

>>213963937 (OP)
You never had the makings of a varsity athlete.

>>213964014
GOTTA CATCH THEM ALL

>>213963937 (OP)
How would Tim pool handle this?

>>213964186
Why?

>>213963937 (OP)
Why the fuck would I be wearing a hat during a meal? I'm not a jew.

why is it so bad to wear a hat while eating

The hat...

Wouldn't have it on to begin with. ^_^

>Not wearing a hat whenever you leave home

I thought you faggots were tradmaxxing?

>>213964014
kek

>>213963937 (OP)
>I will when you lose weight.

>>213964014
I go into all the stores and I only see hats with the bills on the front?

"I'd tell him to eat shit lol"

I wouldn’t SPEAK anything I would let him SPEAK because that’s what no one did.

>>213967166
literally me

I wouldn't have my hat on to begin with because I'm not a fucking animal.

Take your pants off

>>213963990
That guy has chronic resting wigger face lol

>>213963937 (OP)
>haha oh really? Geez this is a little embarrassing...
>*assume combat stance Epsilon Gingerly*
>yeah... real embarrassing Tony... looks like ya got me...
>*Tony signals agents of the state, suspects something is up*
>heh... something wrong Tone...?
>*mobsters burst into the room*
>settle down boys... don't want anyone to get-
>*they open fire*
>*i initiate evasive maneuver Ambiguous Dovetail*
>*wops shoot each other as they try to track me*
>heh... too easy...
>*kick Soprano in the nuts, he collapses to his knees*
>heh... I guess you'll REALLY be singin' soprano now, won't ya?
>*proceed to fuck my date on top of him*
GG

>>213963937 (OP)
I don't wear hats anywhere but football games.

>>213964488
>>213964522
>>213966699
>>213967166
>>213967511
Sure, we break some balls here tonight, but I go way back. And in light of recent singles, it's an honor to be joined by dubsmen, and not faggot ass corn-holin' non-getters like married my cousin. He should fuckin' die!

>>213967846
Oh cool, do you want your cock sucked or something, you fucking faggot?

>>213963937 (OP)
>maybe you should put one on you bald fucking wop

>>213963990
definitely but i wouldnt take it out on him, id immediately respect him for calling me out like that. i'd leave to save face.

>a don doesn't wear shorts
was he right?

>>213967921
also you can still "command" the situation and not escalate with him
>well you know, maybe this just isnt our kind of place
>i couldnt even read the menu haha, this is a nice italian establishment though
man i bet he'd invite you over to his table if you bantered like that and didnt aggro on him

what is it with american and wearing hat indoor
Are you scared of showing that you're balding?

>>213963937 (OP)
HAHA! BALDY! HE'S GOT NO HAIR!

The actor for Hesh died.

>>213963937 (OP)
stand up and start loudly singing that "you can leave your hat on" song (including the instrumental parts) while squirming around suggestively

>>213967993
wait, from sealab?

>>213963937 (OP)
Ignore him. He's not going to attack me in public. If he does, I'll just shoot him.

>>213967897
Are you offering?

I live in a redneck hat culture but I've started wearing them less and take them off in resturants. I often wonder if this scene is what turned me.

I tell him I just had a brain operation and I don't want people about to eat to be disturbed by my bandages since they sometimes have blood and biological liquid discharge leaking through and being visible.
Then I thank him for being considerate enough about other to ask that I take it off even though it would be wort if I did, but of course he couldn't have known that.

>>213967993
There have to have been much more obscure actors on much lesser shows who got a sticky on this shithole board.
F

>>213968083
its just politeness, you dont want to wear shoes in a house. you dont need a hat that blocks the sun indoors. like wearing sunglasses indoors, its the same lameness.
also that doesnt mean, take your hat off when you pop into the wallyworld for 15 minutes. theres a difference.

>>213963937 (OP)
I’d stand up and shake his hand, and apologise. Brush it off with a chuckle and remove the hat. I was in the wrong so there’s no point chimping out on the guy. It wouldn’t score me any points with the bimbo, it’s true. Some things are more important though.

Rape his shitalian bussy and make him my bottom biotch.

>>213963937 (OP)
I wouldnt wear my hat in a restaurant because im not balding. The fat wop could comfortably continue to eat himself to death in peace.

>>213963990
>Wouldn't you feel emasculated in front of your girl?

It's impossible to feel emasculated about anything in front of a flat chested girl. That is one of the laws of the universe.

>>213963937 (OP)
A bald man comes up to me telling me to take my hat off? I can only assume he is butthurt because he had to take his own hat off and expose his chrome dome to everyone in the establishment, and now he wants everyone else to suffer the same fate. Thankfully, I'm not bald, so I take off my hat, and he seethes at my intact hairline.

>>213964492
This might be true

>>213968114
>you dont want to wear shoes in a house
americans wear shoes in their houses though

>>213965396
Backwards baseball cap looks worse than the bald head.

>>213963937 (OP)
>Go fuck yourself
>he assaults me
>stand your ground state

Don't...STOP.

>>213963937 (OP)
I return that he must take off his shoes.

Say nothing, stare him right in the eyes and loudly shit myself, to assert dominance.

>>213968863
The fact you presume something about people who make up 50 different polities spread out over a continent means you're ignorant, and shouldn't make such blanket statements.

>>213968910
You ever stop busting balls?

>>213968990
Not when it is some hypocritically ignorant serf spamming a "do americans really?" comment over and over again. Fuck those serfs, I'll call them out every fucking time if I stumble across them.

>>213963937 (OP)
I'd explain that I'm not wearing a hat because I'm indoors.

>>213966699
The customers wear hats

>>213967921
>>213967975
and then i sucked his cock just to be sure

>>213963937 (OP)
I take my hat off when I'm in a restaurant anyway.

tell him to fuck off
>B-BUT THE CHEF SHPENT 10 YEARSH LEARNING HOW TO PERFECT THE PASTA

>>213963937 (OP)
I wouldn't have my hat on in the first place because i'm white.

>>213964015
You forgot the 4g of the greasiest high octane jungle juice cocaine

>>213963937 (OP)
Oh I'm sorry, I wasn't familiar with the dress code, I will remove the hat, and can you tell the chef that the dish is a little under seasoned, thanks.

>>213972240
Thanks pal. It's a funnier copypasta when I get dubs as I post it

>>213967869
Phil you know the digits make you emotional

>>213963937 (OP)
>>213963990
I don’t remember this scene. What happened next?

>>213963937 (OP)
Tell him to kill himself and then blind him with a fork when he chimps out because I am a pent up NEET that is one failed social interaction away from getting the chair. Actually I wouldn't even be in this restaurant to have this interaction to begin with.

>>213963937 (OP)
I'm not a fucking degenerate who would wear a hat inside.

>>213974600
kek Tony would crush your windpipe

>>213974506
basically he takes his hat off and meekly acknowledges the error in silence thereafter. i dont think theres any exchange between them but since he stays in the restaurant tony gets the restaurant to give him a complimentary wine or something.

>>213963937 (OP)
What type of capo regime are you running pal?

>>213974709
The same BVLL prepping cuckold whose daughter got BLACKED? The same sissy who passes out when he remembers mommy? The same broke loser whose clitty leaks when his wife gets bred by BIG SICILIAN COCK? doubt it.

>>213963937 (OP)
Stab him with my steak knife

>>213963937 (OP)
what hat? I'm not a jew

>>213974600
>>213976333
you niggers couldn't even take ralphie 1v1

>>213976369
The BVLL prepping literal cuckold who wanted foids to rub his dick raw with cheese graters? The gayfaggot who liked getting pegged? The cross dressing tranny sissy who fantasized about getting pimped out? Doubt it.
What is it with soireddit cucks and their embaressing power fantasies? Go eat some gabagool loser.

>>213976545
you're the one with the power fantasy thinking you could kill seasoned mobsters kek. in reality you'd be like AJ screaming for mommy while your lights go out

>>213976666
Listen cuckaroo, neither you nor your self inserts are tough, it's pathetic, stop rewatching this shitty soap opera and just go outside, touch some grass, maybe chat up some hoe, anything beats sitting at home wanking your micro clitty over some ugly fat boomer who runs out of breath after walking a couple of feet to another table.

>>213974600
>>213974709
>>213976184
>>213976369
>>213976545
>>213976666
>>213976887
posts wrists you fags

but I didn't wear a hat

>>213963937 (OP)
Tell him to sit down and try the gabbagool

>>213963937 (OP)
I remove my entire head and waggle my tongue going WALALALALALA

>>213963937 (OP)
I turn my hat backwards and throw a Pokeball

inform him this is not my hat, it is my hair, cleverly sculpted

dance

Holy fuck this thread is cancerous

>>213963937 (OP)
I would throw up.

Take off my hat and dip it in my food, then take a bite out of it.

This scenario is a very interesting example of might = right

>B-but I was in the wrong to wear the hat in the first place!

So what next? He tells you to take your shoes off? He tells you to dance up and down? You gonna do it?

You gonna let him face fuck your girlfriend as well?
It's all funny jokes Mr funny comedian Reddit man? Hahaha.

Sometimes you just got to say no and take a beating

>>213963937 (OP)
I'd ask him to take his fat off first

>>213963937 (OP)
>Sorry pops, it's not 1945. Hat stays on and you bug off.
Seriously, restaurants and their stupid customers are too high on their own farts. You're there to feed your fat ass, not your deluded pretensions of nobility. Fucking bourgeoise cunts...