Thread 214021347

*pulls out iPhone*
>Hi, Goldbergstein? Yeah, it's Jonah. I got an antisemtic French bitch that needs to be taught a lesson. Ugh? Ornella. Ugh? I don't know what this shitty show is called. My aid should be DMing the specifics. Ugh? You got the show name? The network? The parent company? The board and shareholders? And sponsors? All dead? Thanks, you're a mensch.
>Listen here you stuttering French whore, because I'm such a nice guy, you get to live. But you work for me now. And by work I mean I'm going to sodomize you with a baguette, and then shove it down your throat.

>>214021347 (OP)
I think real Jonah would rather eat the bagette(he's fat).

>>214021347 (OP)
How would he have reacted if she asked him to built a gorilla nest?

>>214021347 (OP)
Imagine having that kind of power. Jews rule.

>>214021378
TIME bros...

>>214021347 (OP)
ok


go to website

>>214021378
FUCK NOT AGAIN

>>214021427
Tries to rape, can't get it up, she then laughs as him

>>214021876
>she then laughs as him
I would like to see ornella impersonating jonah

>>214021427
>mention gorillas
>sam goes bananas

>>214021347 (OP)
FREE PALESTINE *slits jonah's throat as the crowd cheers*

>>214024048
>slits jonah's throat
Gonna need a big knife

>>214024072
i came prepared

>>214021537
>>214021852
>I’s okay Jonah, leave it to me.
>ORNELLA YOUS A SMELLY FELLA

I wouldve snapped and hit her live

>>214024149
>ornella smugly dons a maga hat

>>214024149
>ayo Jonah, lemme at dis bitch
>Ornella, I gotta tell ya, your bitter vibe is pure salmonella. You’re no Cinderella, just a sad storytella. No fella is buying the weak drama you try to sell, ya.
>crowd cheers

>>214024262
>>crowd cheers
french crowd, they wouldn't understand any of it
oh the silence is defeaning on that stage

>>214024322
Eminem’s rhymes transcend language barriers

>>214024149
>>214024262
>ORNELLA, YOU FART SMELLA. SUCK OFF A COUPLE BLACK FELLAS BEHIND THE DUMPSTER YELLIN, AH. TRY TO PUT DOWN MY HOMIE JONAH? NO WAY, HELLA

>>214024426
em bringing out the worst microwaved bars for jonah's aid is the funniest thing ever
with friends like these...

>>214024149
>>214024262
>>214024426
>Mr. Mathers, I think Jonah said he wanted “M&Ms,” not Eminem

>>214021427
> asked him to built
Fucking sick of ESLtards on my website

>>214024573
MORE TIME

>>214021347 (OP)
>You fantasize about me, Leo, and Brad? Cute. That’s the closest you’ll ever get to a threesome with anyone famous.
>Wow, this took a turn. I came here to talk about movies, not watch a failed comedian turn her delusions into standup.
>Damn, usually when someone bombs this hard on live TV, there’s a laugh track to cover for it. Next time just write fanfiction that way no one has to suffer through your bad delivery or shit taste. You're brave for saying all this with that haircut though.
>I’ve worked with Scorsese and Tarantino. You’ve worked with a green screen and 14 viewers. And a casting couch.

>If this is French humor, I get why Americans stopped taking your movies seriously after 1964.

>>214024869
>Jonah looks around the shower and grins to himself
>takes another bite of his sub

>>214024573
chat please create a song and music video of a rap battle between Ornella and Eminem

>>214021347 (OP)
>Oy vey sweaty just cos I'm fat and Jewish don't mean ya agent
Solved (but wouldn't necessarily fly as allowed)
>Ummm ooook *pulls a funny face like pic related and moves on*
Safe option
>Pulls out a gun and shoots her
Impossible to fail option

>>214026304
>*I'm ya agent
Fuck, she's too powerful bros she made me forget a whole word

>>214021347 (OP)
>Monsieur Feldstein, when you have finished your elaborate Jewish revenge fantasy, would you care to explain where all the pastries on the craft services table went?

>>214021347 (OP)
>”the only realistic part of that scenario is me walking out of the room”

>>214027055
>Sorry Jonah my english isn't perfect did you say walking or waddling?

>>214021347 (OP)
He should have gone full Raja on her.

>>214028530
MORE TIME

>>214024869
FAT!

>Ornella? More like poop smella
I think I cracked it

>>214024573
its over before it even started

>>214030345
>Jonah Hill? More like Jonah go run up a Hill to lose some weight, you fat fuck.

>>214030444
Sounds like she is rage baited tbqh

>heh, go lose weight you autistic fat ass. I wouldn’t even fuck you
>o-ok…
>Oh, hello Ornella! I took your advice. It was a real wake up call and dropped all that weight. This is my beautiful wife btw
>WTF NOOOOOO YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY A FAT OBNOXIOUS FATASS NOOOOOO OH GOD YOURE SO HOT TOO I MUST HAVE YOU
>Thanks but no thanks, there was a time where I’d say yes without a second thought, but now… I don’t think my wife would like that
>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-ACK

>>214021347 (OP)
You sound mad

>>214030754
>Jonah Hill debuts (filthy gold fillings and a gut)
Jonah gold teeth and a baggy sweater isn't progress it's just sad and gross

>>214028617
he's a kike, not a nigger.

>>214028530
>”I'm happy to do either if it gets me away from your used up cunt”