Thread 214025803

Food should be banned entirely from films. Only low class or immature people fill their face with slop while they watch kino. Grow the fuck up, eating is a utilitarian activity to provide the body energy, you don't need to do it outside of that and shouldn't.

>>214025803 (OP)
The phones and talking bother me more.

>>214025803 (OP)
Only low class or immature people go to the movies

Nah movies should be shown in a cabaret and only allow white people.

I'd rather they banned niggers from cinemas.

Only soup should be allowed

>>214026285
wtf wheres the logic in that?
THAT GOES AGAINST THE WHOLE IDEA, SOUP WOULD MAKE A TON OF NOISE U IDIOT ITS A MOVIE THEATER

>>214026309
We have straws, retard.

>>214025803 (OP)
Not nearly restrictive enough. There should be prison sentences for as much as coughing too loud during a film, to say nothing about talking. There should be EM detectors for any phone whatsoever and anyone who brings one in the theater should be fined several tens of thousands of dollars. To be ELIGIBLE to buy a ticket, a several day-long series of written knowledge tests about cinematography, film history (several tests for several countries), theatre studies etc. should have to be performed. Anyone scoring less than 90% is permanently banned from movie theaters, for life, globally. A person cannot recite all Dogme 95 films, in alphabetical order INSTANTLY? No access.
And that's for starters.

>>214026337
so you are going to sell a bunch of soup that has no chunks of ingredients in it? no ones going to buy your crappy soup, get over it

>>214026367
I mean, professional chefs kick out patrons for not behaving appropriately, why shouldn't kinoplexes?

>>214026550
Hence my suggestions.

>>214025904
I'd rather they ban niggers from western white Aryan Christian civilization.

>>214026367
Look, I already have to deal with the mandatory penis inspection. Why you gotta make it harder?

Dine in theaters in my area naturally keep out the riff-raff.

They only make money on food

>>214026971
Penis inspection can be performed more thoroughly if the penis is harder.

>>214026285
>>214025875
>>214025854
>be me
>go to see terrifier 2 (no memes, the series is kino if you enjoy the gore horror roller coaster)
>theater is filled with zoomies
>it's one of the hipster theaters where people can get craft burgers, wings, beer delivered to your seat
>all of the zoomers are gorging themselves on slop
>still being delivered throughout previews
>movie opens directly into scene of Art's clown partner shitting blood all over the laundromat floor
>zoomies grossed out and visibly shoving their slop away from them
Great theater memory, they mustve had no idea what they were seeing

>>214025803 (OP)
Kino doesn't exist. All film is slop with 0 exceptions. Pigs have been feeding at the trough since the inception of film.

>>214025803 (OP)
I need my gains faggot, deal with it.

For me it's the crabs legs. What is it for you?

>>214026367
Popcorn hawk and no singles policy as well.

>>214025803 (OP)
Theaters should have food and no movies.

>>214025875
the movies got popular in the great depression because anyone could afford to go, the idea of some zero testosterone effete little faggot baby in 2025 criticizing the medium for being low class represents your generation perfectly, completely oblivious and painfully retarded

>>214025803 (OP)
I always bring my sago pudding with me to the kinoplex.

if i can hear other people eating, what the hell am I in the theater for?

Can someone explain to me why popcorn is the go-to movie snack? It's literally the worst possible food during a movie
>loud crunching, made even worse due to fat pigs chewing with their mouth open
>hands get covered in grease and salt, no way to clean it off besides licking your dirty fingers and rubbing it into your seat and/or clothes
>shit gets stuck in your teeth
>crumbs everywhere so seats are always disgusting
>easy to spill if you're retarded (ie most theatergoers), hard to clean up
>absurd portions so you either feel sick halfway through the movie or throw most of it away at the end
Like I get that it's cheap for the theater to make in bulk so they get huge margins, but surely they could find other snacks to price gouge us on without making the entire experience miserable for everyone who isn't a fat oblivious retard

>movie theaters should have "no 100% revenue for the theater" screeenings
somebody should tell this retard.

>>214025904
based
>>214026907
baseder

>>214027609
>Can someone explain to me why popcorn is the go-to movie snack?
Because it's dirt cheap to make and the price gouging is something that's only been happening for the last 40 years or so. Before that, movies were probably the least expensive entertainment available.

>>214027113
Sounds like a fundamentally flawed business model that deserves to go bankrupt. Let natural selection take its course.

>>214027609
Because soup is even harder to clean up

>>214027513
>the movies got popular because people of low class could go
>someone in 2025 criticizing the medium for being low class is oblivious to the history of it and wrong

>>214027513
You are mad that he is right?

But how would I do the hole in the popcorn bucket trick then?

>>214027993
qrd?

>>214025803 (OP)
After Zoomers went apeshit with the Minecraft movie, this is a good idea

>>214028048
put hole in bucket
put dick through bucket
offer your date some popcorn

>>214025904
I’d rather they ban White Zoomers

>>214025803 (OP)
they should allow headphone usage
bring your own and just jack in

>>214027629
Maybe some of us don’t want to deal with >>214028239 and >>214028211

>>214027297
Do crab legs grow above ground like corn or underground like potatoes?

>>214025803 (OP)
It’s easier just to ban this guy. He can come on no singles night

>>214026367
Settle down Robert or we’re going to the popcorn shed

>>214028228
You know people sitting to the side or behind you can very clearly see you doing that, right?

>>214025803 (OP)
The Redditor who made that post probably has that one mental disorder where he can’t stand the sound of people eating. Not once have I even noticed the sound of people eating or drinking while watching a movie, the movie itself drowns it out

>>214028211
I didn't think the minecraft trend was funny, but now that I can see a wagie seething over it, it's a little funny.

>>214028329
That's why you wait until the lights go out and everyone's staring on the screen.

>>214025803 (OP)
When else would you eat popcorn? The problem is turning the cinema experience into a fast food outing.

>>214028412
>screen is very bright from a full daylight scene
>light reflected on the audience lights up the entire room
>glance down from your peripheral vision and see a sex offender sitting in front of you with popcorn on his exposed penis

>>214025803 (OP)
That's how theaters make their money

>>214027513
i would gladly take the racial makeup of the depression era with the whole depression part over what we have now, if that's what you're asking

>>214025803 (OP)
>Dumps cup I have been using to spit out sunflower seeds in all over you
Do something pussy.

Why dont movie places sell coffee? I;d get a coffee when watching a movie. I dont drink stuff like coke and I dont eat popcorn.

>>214026337
I can hear you slurping your fucking straw is clogged.

>>214028490
The penis isn't exposed - it's hiding in the bucket, buried in popcorn while the bucket sits discreetly in your lap. That's the whole point.

>>214028638
have fun with your uti, retard

>>214028211
Bunch of heartless idiots. Imagine how you'd feel if your little prank ended up with your buddy's prize hen torn to shreds in the falcons nest.

>>214025803 (OP)
IIRC theaters have a very thin margin on the ticket sales and need the concessions to actually make a profit. So they would need to have more expensive tickets for those showings.

>>214028681
Sounds like a fundamentally flawed business model that deserves to perish in the free market.

>>214028211
movie food fights used to be kino. Eggs is another level.
>remember to throw them up in the air and let gravity do the rest!

>>214028660
you zoomers are hopeless
no wonder you guys never have sex if you're instantly afraid of utis when someone suggests putting your dick in something

>>214028716
you will NEVER cure herpes
I am so unironically exceedingly grateful and happy for the existence of the many sexually transmitted DISEASES that god has given us. The more easily transmissible and debilitating to a person's life, the better. I wish AIDS was 100 times more common. STDs are a gift to mark degenerates with so people of virtue know to avoid them.

>>214028766
that's not funny
my cat died of aids

>>214026550
That's right, chefs with chef sensibilities kick out bad customers. Managers in those restaurants that have never worked in the kitchen or bar themselves never do. Only the artists care about bad patronage. If cinemas were run by directors and actors they would be incredibly different.

>>214028872
Imagine a cinema ran by Dan Schneider.

>>214025803 (OP)
>>214025854
why do people go to the cinema? I don't understand it
>sound is too loud
>distractions from people making noise or using phones
>expensive
>time consuming to go there and back home after
I don't see any benefits compared to watching them at home

Movie theaters would only be good if we could eat pussy instead of slop

>>214028716
>having standards is for pussies.

>>214028282
Don’t see movies for children

>>214025803 (OP)
I stopped going to the movies with my friends because they can't fucking stop eating pop corn and nachos with their mouths closed. How can someone reach their 30s and still act like an animal...

>>214028927
I go specifically for the sound

>>214027609
The most important reason is because Americans can't grow anything else than corn. That's it. They have tons and tons of corn and nothing to do with it. So they promote it everywhere as the new thing. Best snack? Pop-corn. Best sweetener? Corn syrup. Also pop corn is dirt cheap to produce, store, prepare.

>>214029217
>having standards
dude you're crying about the idea of your penis touching popcorn as if it will instantly fall off
that does make you a huge pussy

I would argue the contrary, people should be able to eat whatever they want at the theater, and even cook inside it as long as they do it safely. Imagine grilling next to a guy stir frying as you watch the kinoe, I would also advice people to actively debate the movie as it's showing. Also make movies at least 6 hours long with several 10 minute long breaks so one could take a shit etc

>>214029588
I don't want butter going down my urinary tract, retard.

>>214029867
is søymilk in your holes any better, faggot?

>>214029867
You haven't lived until you fucked a tub of warm butter, son.

>>214025904
This

>>214025803 (OP)
fuck you nigger i will eat my popcorn mixed with buncha crunch

>>214025904
fuck you niggers make shitty movies enjoyable and ensure I get my money's worth in entertainment

>>214025803 (OP)
Guess this idiot doesn’t understand that’s how theaters make their money. Not off ticket sales. If things go right, ticket sales covers the overhead of running a theater and concessions is the profit. Why concessions is outrageously over priced

>>214028927
Maybe in the states or big cities maybe, the local cinema here is always dead as fuck. You and maybe 2 other people share the same screen in silence.

There's three theaters in my town, two are commercial and allow food and the last one screens mostly classics, tickets are much cheaper and food is not allowed.

>>214030463
see >>214028699
see >>214027896

Having worked at a theater as a teen, I can tell you they would love not sell shit during movies and have to clean up after mess because people rude disgusting pigs

>>214028638
I tried this and got popcorn topping and kernels in my pubes.

>>214030463
Yeah right. I'm sure gas stations don't make hand over fist each gallon of gas pumped and instead make their real profits in convenience store snacks right? Lmfao, retard.

>>214026337
I just put the end of the straw riiiight at the edge of the liquid and suck.
That way I get about 50% drink and 50% air, I feel like I have more of it.

>>214025803 (OP)
Sadly everything you'd want to fuck off to make cinema a better experience is what they make money on the most. Food makes more than ticket sales and families with brats will buy the most. So screaming kids and people stuffing their faces will never stop.

>>214026285
Lol no. What nigga eats fucking soup at the theater.

>>214028927
You forgot the worst one
>sit through 30 minutes of ads that you paid to watch
That alone is a dealbreaker for me

>>214030748
>purposely giving yourself hiccups

>>214027949
>>214027948
it's retarded to criticize something for what it is designed to be, 0/10 hot sauce, was spicy

ur real stupid faggots