Thread 214026404

What if they made a historically-accurate, not-Biblically-accurate, period drama motion picture film piece event focusing on Jesus of Nazareth (b. c. 7 BCE — d. c. 40 CE)?

The actual reference of the historical Jesus would be the Shroud of Turin.

>>214026404 (OP)
wasn't this image created by kikes?

>>214026404 (OP)
So, a prequel to The Passion of the Christ?

They'd have to show how God teleports him off the cross which is a no-no because it'd make Christians chimp out.

>>214026433
Still looks very swarthy

>>214026404 (OP)
very simple: people wouldn't watch it. this is a Gentle Reminder That Jesus Was A Brown Middle Eastern Refugee Who Would Not Have Voted For Trump.
On a personal note: if you you use this thread to use the Bible as a prop to spew your xenophobia, your racism, your stupidity, your hatred of science and reason, your rage at the existence of poor folks who don’t look like you, and your woman-hating bullshit, I will take it from you and smack you back.

>>214026404 (OP)

This image is the equivalent of digging up a skeleton a thousand years from now of Jon Lovitz and thinking everybody looked like that.

>>214026491
Correct, he was Levantine.

>>214026486
Is this bait? The Bible says his body was taken down after his death and laid in a tomb. He teleported out of the tomb on the 3rd day.

>>214026456
Yes.
>>214026433
Yes.

>>214026486

Are you a muslim? Their fan theories of why it looked like jesus was crucified but wasnt really are hilarious.

>>214026404 (OP)
It’s kind of stupid to make Jesus unattractive. The man was literally God. Perfect in every sense. It only is logical that he wouldn’t be fat or unhealthy or have any deformities.

>>214026404 (OP)
>DUDE WHAT IF JESUS WAS A CAVE MAN LMAO

>>214026582
not to mention everyone that claims to have seen him in visions describes him the same way, not like the shitskin in OP's image
I fucking hate jews so goddamn much, and women. I wish they were all dead.

>>214026582

he also took on the appearance of an average man and lived a human life. his body isnt perfect in every sense because it is susceptible to death. his resurrected body is different tho

>>214026433
that's even way more semitic shitskin looking lol
rabbi yeshua son of yehweh the donkey headed desert volcano demon lmao

>>214026404 (OP)
it would be kino and upset various sects of christianity.

anyway last days in the desert is in the vicinity of plausibility and is an underrated movie.

>>214026506
>drumpf

>>214026404 (OP)
If you take the religious angle, all you got is a brown guy spouting communist messages and white Christians hate brown people and communism

>>214026404 (OP)
>historically-accurate
>not-Biblically-accurate
The Bible is history

>>214026433
I think somebody made a good point about Jesus not having long hair because it wouldn’t have been a very masculine look for him and people might have taken him less seriously

>>214026404 (OP)
>BCE
>CE
Faggot.

>>214026711
Your post makes me legit angry

>>214026677
mary magdelane is also fairly realistic and quite a good movie.... Joaquin phoenix as jesus was really poor in ti however.

>>214026711
it's funny how much jewish kvetching about bc and ad has infiltrated "science"

>>214026661
Are you jewish or indian?

>>214026710
Nazarites had long hair

what's pic related like?

I wonder how anti semites/whites ffeel when all their names come from jewish names in the Bible

>>214026732
Homosexuals often lash out. They're deeply unhappy people inside.

>>214026753
Nazirites*
Easy enough to confuse with the word Nazarene even without spelling errors

>>214026660
I agree but Jesus was only susceptible to death because he chose to die. He could have kept barely breathing and suffering on the cross indefinitely. He CHOSE to breathe his last breath after saying “it is finished”. When the Roman soldier pierced his side blood poured out until there was only water in his body. Jesus was beated and tortured so badly should have been dead before he actually died. So crazy to think that the only truly immortal man chose his death on a cross.

>>214026404 (OP)
>incarnate your omnipotent self into humankind as your own son
>make yourself look like a brownoid downie
on its face a nonsensical premise

>>214026764
Fanfiction written by a Greek communist.

>>214026433
Looks like /ourguy/ - Jihadi Jesus

>>214026752
>jewish
>indian
LMAO
yeshua was a brown jew
yehweh was originally the desert god of arabs
your entire religion is jewish fairy tales
your worship shitskins
you should kys

>>214026677
Jesus, what a horrible miscast

how does being a "christian" chantard even work? surely spending your time spreading hate and vitriol online is contrary to the teachings of christ?
Maybe you go to church and pray for forgiveness when you go to church on sunday (assuming you actually go to church)

perhaps you like to peruse the bible during refractory periods between jerking off to loli and shota pron?

>>214026886
he was actually pretty good and i do think its an underrated movie
Joaquin Phoenix in >>214026742 was horrendous

>>214026794
yeah but is it a good movie

>>214026404 (OP)
For you, the best movie about Jesus. Made by a marxist atheist homosexual.
https://youtu.be/Ewzr-ioQ_9k?si=i91hsgTH1drV7lyq

>>214026506
Capitalizing every word in that statement was a nice touch, but fuck you, rat-boy.

>>214026987
No it's not. It's Marty taking a subversive novel and projecting all of his cuck insecurities onto Christ.

>>214026992
thats straight up kino.

>>214026433
this is what a shroud wrapped around someone's head would look like

>>214026992
It's actually Demille's "King of Kings".

>>214027039
How do you know it was wrapped around him that tightly?

>>214027017
>cuck insecurities
jesus was a man of flesh and blood who suffered the same maladies of every other man. all too human. Surely thats part of teh OP's contention about movies that are "historically accurate"

>>214026433
lol.

>>214026433
>Shroud image could only have been burnt onto the image by a sudden burst of high-intensity light and energy from the body itself
>gaythests still refuse to accept it
So much for loving science.

>>214027039
it was a face cloth placed on his face lol

>>214026404 (OP)
nice try kike but Jesus was Aryan,seethe

>>214027091
Marty made him into a pathetic simp because he was going through a bad divorce. That's not honest filmmaking.

>>214027039
>skin.jpg
>5kb
lole, I love this fuckin place

>>214027077
there was a massive industry revolving around producing relics to attract pilgrims to churches during medieval times. It was fairly lucrative. most, like the turin shroud, were complete nonsense.

>>214027148
pajeets are aryans you dumbfuck. blonde hair and blue eyed aryans is a meme.

He was the only white non-roman person there.

ok.... contentious question i know .... but why do so many Jewish people look white despite coming from the middle east?

>>214027217
>fake relics exist
>therefore there are no real relics whatsoever
It must be painful to be a midwit. Anyway, the Shroud has pretty much been authenticated at this point, not even the best modern technology can replicate it

>>214027265
i was referring ''aryan'' as people of Nordic+german ancestry,as there was scientists and scholars calling them Aryans in the 19th and 20th century. I dont think pajeets refer to them as aryans,maybe theres also a jeet tribe with the same name or a coincidence

>>214027120
>image made by light
>some reference to "energy"
it's paint. it's a less than 1000 years anyway by carbon dating so even if it is real it isn't Jesus but someone else. but it's just a painting of a man's face, based on an imagining of Jesus having long hair and a beard, which isn't mentioned or implied at all in the bible.

>>214027217
There's more lucre to be made turning people away from god's law. The most obvious proof being making the west legalize usury.

Also we can't even replicate the shroud of Turin today but someone from the 15th century made it? lmao

>>214027520
There's no paint on the base image and the carbon dating was based on a faulty sample.

What if they made an on-topic, not /pol/ on topic, actual discussion thread about television or film pieces that focused on talking about movies instead of just baiting discussion about a totally unrelated political or American topic?

>>214027148
I’d semi-buy it because Europeans and Persians had already been in that part of the world for at least a few centuries but would he really have had long hair like that?

>>214027491
>i was referring ''aryan'' as people of Nordic+german ancestry
jesus fucking christ. The Aryans originated in the Central Asian steppes and migrated into iran and india. from iran they spread into western europe.

>>214027265
Pajeets are dravidian slave faggots.

>>214026404 (OP)
Only Franco Zeffirelli got adult and boy Jesus right. Everyone else failed. Including Mel Gibson.

>>214026433
Thats gandalf though

>>214027346
Because they mixed with europeans. Jews have never had any problem whoring their women out

>>214027567
There's probably paint.
>faulty sample
The entire investigation was faulty and used archaic methods.
>Also we can't even replicate the shroud of Turin today but someone from the 15th century made it? lmao
You guys remind me of those schizos claiming that we can't replicate Egyptian pyramids.

>>214026404 (OP)
found the edomite khazarite neanderthal canaanite idumaean fake jew, ancient real penis mutilators were nordic

>>214026404 (OP)
Why would he look like a Leftoid wet dream?

>>214026404 (OP)
>historically accurate
Would be pretty hard as he isn't even mentioned by anyone else.

>>214028253
LMMMMMMMMMMMMMFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

christfags are insane
dude its the desert, holy shit, we're lightskinned, we're white. how hard is it for you to realize
"yeah maybe we didnt evolve in desert"

>>214028313
Found the FAKE infant penis mutilator.


A certain sect of jewish priests were referred to in one of the jewish prophet books as being red, white, and blue and then becoming black.
This is absolute proof that the penis mutilating schizophrenic rat people who invented most of the things that make judaism abhorrent today are actually the genetic ancestor of both Celtic and Germanic people. This also proves that modern jews are actually a European people who stole infant penis mutilation for the God of Moses from the Celtic and Germanic people (who are actually middle eastern with no ancestry in Europe 3000 years ago).

If someone denies this they must post visage or they prove that they are a jew.
(we wuz jews (middle eastern jews, not fake edomite khazarian neanderthal canaanite pharisee european descended jews))

CHRIST IS KING

>>214026433
debunked confirmation bias slop

>>214028253
Jesus looks like Colin Farrell in Alexander in my headcanon now

Btw I’m OP and am mildly baffled by how quickly this thread descended into shitposting and trolling; I expected better for some reason. Oh, how naïve I was in those grand olden days of a few minutes ago

Carry on

I remember how before 2015 we made fun of Christians and mocked them, now those schizos infected every board and unironically try to fucking proselytize.

On a website that was created because Something Awful mods wouldn't allow loli. Fuck /pol/, fuck Trump and fuck Reddit for ruining this website.

>>214026404 (OP)
The historically accurate is likely even more damning for jews and thus would never happen. It would have to involve the sociopolitical situation of jews at the time and in modern times and shine too much of a spotlight on jewish culture. Jesus of Nazareth was likely a low caste jew who created his movement as a way to try to open up judaism to outsiders (non-jews) and improve the conditions for low caste jews by preaching for equality and openness. Fast forward 2000 years and there are few low caste jews in the diaspora element. The culture is now for other jews to carry lower jews out of poverty and mediocrity through hook or crook and nepomaxx. Meanwhile the idea to open up judaism to everyone was soundly rejected and instead it gave birth to Christianity.

>>214028245
Pyramids are really big and require a really big work force over a really long time. Surely one little shroud shouldn't be too hard for a 21st century artist!!?

>>214028455
It's called growing up

>>214028455
2015 was prime euphoric posting. gaytheists were mercilessly mocked as fedora tipping dorks.

>>214028253
Based and factpilled.

>>214028283
>Josephus and Tacitus didn't real
>Jews were silent on the subject

>>214028526
It's called getting infested with new retarded users.

>>214026404 (OP)
Would they show the little naked boy who was in the park with Rabbi Yeshua when he was arrested by Roman authorities? Does any filmmaker have the guts to depict what is actually in the Bible?

>>214028455
it's hard to even call them christian, they spam this largely only virtual nu-age religion loosely based on christian aesthetics and scriptures, larpstianity
it doesn't even matter that it's usually ridiculously heretical to modern and ancient church doctrines

>>214026433
That's Bruce Forsyth, you idiot!

>>214028574
>Tacitus
Talks about Christians and mentions Jesus as the origin of this superstition. Hardly a material for a movie.
>Josephus
Fake.

>>214028528
Athiesm+ was anti-Christian for all of the wrong reasons. They considered Christianity to be some White Nationalist Fascist entity, when it's actually an open borders globalist ideology. If Christianity isn't universalist enough to scratch your libtard itch, then you're ultra cucked. That was the original sentiment behind /pol/'s fedora tipping meme. It was a signifier that you were a turbo cucked liberal. The side effect was the young incels browsing 4chan saw that and grew up to be Nick Fuentes.

>>214026404 (OP)
>>214026433
>>214026677
>>214026742
>>214026764
>>214026925
>>214026925
>>214027148
>>214028104
>>214028253
We need /jew/ because Christians can’t stop obsessing over Jews like jealous exes who never got over being dumped. You worship a Jewish guy, preach from Jewish texts, and base your entire religion on their traditions while crying about “Jewish influence” like deranged lunatics. Christianity is just Judaism’s clingy, insecure spin-off—desperate for attention, ripping off everything, and still bitter about being left out of the “chosen people” club. You hate Jews, but without them, you’d have nothing. Your savior? Jewish. Your holy book? Jewish. Your entire identity? Borrowed, watered down, and resentfully paraded like it’s original.

Give these hypocrites their own board so they can spiral in peace. They can cry about Zionism, chant their cringe mantras, and rewrite history to fit their victim narrative without polluting the rest of the site. Christianity isn’t anti-Jewish—it’s obsessed with Jews to the point of parody, and the rest of us are tired of watching their embarrassing identity crisis play out everywhere else. Put them in /jew/ and let them fight over who’s more Jewish while pretending they’re not just LARPing.

>>214026404 (OP)
This picture has no basis, it's literally just some garbage atheists made up, there are several descriptions of Jesus physical appearance within the bible

>>214026517
Levantine people aren't swarthy though

>>214029143
He was a jew, a dirty brown jew. Deal with it.

Anyone who still believes in any religion is a coping and seething retard. Same goes for athiests

>>214026506
>Jesus Was A Brown Middle Eastern Refugee
He wasn't a refugee you retard, he lived his entire life within Roman lands, he never fled from any wars

>>214026433
This is so fake it hurts
Not even the Vatican recognizes this heresy

>>214029221
Atheist here I agree with what you said because I used to be a Round Earther but now I’m a Hollow Earther and Hollow Earth Theory is just a theory (a goose)not a religion

>>214026404 (OP)
Christ was Roman.

>>214026694
Communism is a materialist philosophy, Christianity is not it is a metaphysical philosophy, the 2 are completely different and only retarded communists who've never read the Bible think it preaches a similar philosophy

>>214029286
*was ACKed by Romans

>>214028744
Fake.

Every first-hand account of Yeshua of Nazareth goes against what modern (((experts))) and (((researchers))) claim.

>>214029302
seriously, if you actually lived according to the teachings of christ you'd be living in some kind of quasi anarcho communal setup based in Quakerism or Anabaptist practices. Not behaving like a hateful, self-pitying degenerate on the internet for six days a week before going to a commercial church on sunday.

if you want to be a christian and live according to the teachings of Christ then BE one.

>>214029826
there are no "first hand" accounts. They thought the end was neigh. it was an apocalyptic personality cult. They didn't keep records because they thought the material world was ending.

>>214029285
I am not a round ball retard either. Something is up with the size and or shape of the earth.

>>214029826
dude cant use one (1) real verified source. even the bible would could but not this apocrypha
>Archoko source
>"is a 19th-century volume containing what purports to be a series of reports from Jewish and pagan sources contemporary with Jesus"
>Letter from Pontius Pilate
>"that purport to either be written by Pontius Pilate, or else otherwise closely describe his activities and the Passion of Jesus. "
etc.

>>214026404 (OP)
Jesus has no race for he is beyond humanity as the son of God

>>214029826
They hated him because he spoke the truth

>>214029826
>>214030069
>>214026404 (OP)
>>214026433

>Every one of Jesus’ apostles besides Peter was underage (neaniskos is the Greek word used)
>When a woman questions why he hangs out with kids he says “don’t scandalize me”
>Tells these boys he will make them “fishers of men”
>Goes into upper rooms and washes their feet while naked
>Tells them to “eat his flesh and drink his haima” (if you think this means “blood” here, see Ezekiel 23:20)
>Is arrested in a public park at 4am with a naked boy (see Mark 14:51-52)
>When the cops show up he says “why do you come for me with swords and clubs like I’m some kind of leistes”
>The word leistes, which gets translated as “thief” is actually “pirate” and was used in contemporary texts (many examples such as Lucian’s Alexander) to refer to sex traffickers
>Sex trafficking was a big problem in the Mediterranean and one of the big things the Romans did was crack down on the pedo pirates. Julius Caesar himself was kidnapped by them as a kid and afterwards had them all crucified
>Jesus Christ was in fact crucified between two other leistes
There's a reason Jesus's "Most Beloved Disciple" is always depicted as a beardless boy whereas the rest of his followers had beards. Dude liked em young.

>>214026404 (OP)
>historically-accurate, not-Biblically-accurate,
it would be very boring because the non-biblical historical record is pretty much "yeah that jesus of nazareth fellow existed and caused some stir in judea and then he got killed for it. what a moron"

>>214030191
He was pretty much arrested and killed for riots, pedophilia and child trafficking. (caught at 4AM with naked young boy in the Olive Garden)

Romans didn't give a shit about jewish fairytales of him being a god. Judea was an irrelevant shithole in the vast Roman Empire. I wish Romans actually did to Judea what they did to Carthage. We wouldn't have that jewish brainrot right now.

>>214026404 (OP)
>historically accurate
>not biblically accurate
Pick one. The resurrection happened.

>>214026582
this has to be bait
read the description of the suffering servant in isaiah.
>For he grew up before him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground; he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him.
isaiah 53:2

>>214030231
there aren't any non-blblical sources that talk about any of that, that I'm aware of. that's my point, there's not much about jesus outside of the bible other than that he existed and got killed for causing problems in judea

>>214030241
>The resurrection happened.

>>214030231
Romans pitied the Jews.

>>214030342
Their biggest mistake

>>214026404 (OP)
>ancient hobo
>fat

>>214026456
Yes, just like Jesus so what’s the issue?

>>214030156
>Is arrested in a public park at 4am with a naked boy (see Mark 14:51-52)
Kike bot, it was nothing of the sort.

>>214030425
he wore a linen garment ffs, and when he fled he dropped it, presumably because the soldiers grabbed him by it

>>214030156
>Is arrested in a public park at 4am with a naked boy
>is actually a young man wearing a garment
???

>>214030241
Religionfags are the worst slop brought from the 2016 Trumpanzee crowd

>>214030337
I accept your trancession

>>214030545
>>214030425
I accept your concession, jew enabler.

>>214030522
Jewish hands typed this
>>214030156
>>214030231
>>214030317
Jesus was jewish and like all jews molested children

>>214030614
>Jesus was jewish and like all jews molested children
It's a long Abrahamic tradition dating back to sisterfucking Sumerians.


Jews suck on newborn penis when they cut it and molest kids, put their pedophilia everywhere in mass media and movies.
Catholic priests molest young altar boys.
Muslims marry literal kids, rape boys and goats.

But there will always be a fucking retard that will defend those degenerates.

>>214030575
Why respond to my post if you aren't going to address what i said anyway? Do you think volume of posts is what matters?

>>214030723
There is no point. You have literal kike brainrot. Talking to christcucks is pointless, you're already programmed to defend ultra skyjew like a good goy cattle you are.

>>214030723
He did. He pointed out the only people denying all jews molest children are themselves Jewish child molesters

>>214030765
*tips fedora* hear hear, quite the exquisite post sir!

>>214030781
I denounce Bible, Talmud, Torah, quran, atheism, science cults, saturnian fuckery.
Fuck all of your joo bullishit.

Go dilate your tranny axe wound to some degenerate porn and then repent to your skyjew so you won't burn your asshole in "hell".

>>214026711
>Before Christian Era
>Christian Era
What’s the problem?

>>214029887
You're retarded, Pontius Pilate gave a description of him and he wasn't a follower of Jesus

>>214030765
>Talking to christcucks is pointless
Then don't?
>>214030770
That's retarded and in another post anyway.

>>214026404 (OP)
starring John Goodman, also I'm here to say OP is a jew

>>214030941
Not real nigger, Pilate was thought to be fictional until the 60s

>>214026835
lol @ bigtitz venti rubbing her hands together

>>214031313
Flat Earth is a jewish nonsense. All sophisticated cultures before them knew the Earth is a sphere.

The ancients unlike your goatfucker joo masters had advanced Astronomy and Astrology.

sup

>>214031364
Makes you wonder why God would chose to reveal his truth to a tribe of almost entirely illiterate tribe of desert rats when they were stuck figuring out the best way to squish olives. The Greeks had already perfected fucking astrolabes by then

>>214031364
Address everything else now.

>>214032107
I don't have to. I'm not an atheist. >>214030811

Go suck on some cut jewish dick, you sheeple retard.

Will this be in the theatrical cut or the extended (uncut) cut?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circumcision_of_Jesus

>>214032126
no, address the other stuff on the shirt

He died for our sins

>>214026404 (OP)
Jesus followed the Torah perfectly. I imagine he would have had Payot. That wutang rapper that made the song B.I.B.L.E. convinced tons of people that they are brainwashed to think Jesus looked like Cesar Borgeir. But in reality Cesar styled himself to look like Jesus.

Reminder that the Israelites used to be polytheists until the Babylonian exile during which the Yahweh sect finally manage to convert judaism into monotheism. Until that point Yahweh was just a warrior storm god imported into the Canaanite pantheon. He also had a wife.

>>214027346
Modern jews are descended from European converts.

>>214028253
>artistic depictions
>DNA analysis (of someone who allegedly ascended to Heaven and left no DNA?)
>supernatural visions
Lol. Lmao.

>>214028468
>Jesus of Nazareth was likely a low caste jew who created his movement as a way to try to open up judaism to outsiders (non-jews)
The one who opened Christianity to non-jews was Paul because he claimed he had a "vision" that told him to do so.

>>214029143
>there are several descriptions of Jesus physical appearance within the bible
Quote even one.

>>214026404 (OP)
I never understood either side of this shitfling, like it is possibke that he was swarthy and also had light hair and blue eyes, some of Palestinians from recent photos look whiter than average westerner

>>214029826
>love thy racial kinsman
I love how modern day LARP "christians" try to sneakily inject this stuff and think nobody will notice.

>>214026404 (OP)
I'd imagine him being some nobody street preacher in a sea of dozens and nothing really important happens, just mundane hobo preacher bullshit. then he gets crucified with like ten other people that the Roman's deemed annoying and gay to their culture and the movie ends with Jesus being buried in an unmarked grave next to other vagrants.
Itd be like a like a bleak von Trier film.

>>214028862
Anon be honest with me. You GPTd this chan post didn’t you?