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Thread 214029320

285 posts 112 images /tv/
Anonymous No.214029320 >>214029369 >>214029379 >>214029462 >>214029538 >>214029638 >>214029697 >>214029711 >>214029745 >>214031772 >>214033755 >>214033978 >>214034618 >>214036184 >>214038818 >>214039030 >>214040309 >>214041651 >>214042264 >>214047450 >>214047518 >>214047708 >>214048121 >>214049245 >>214049674 >>214050209 >>214050502 >>214051711 >>214051857 >>214054918
Why aren't there any good monke horror kinos?
They'd make for some great horror material
Anonymous No.214029369 >>214029462 >>214029796 >>214046417 >>214046995
>>214029320 (OP)
Fun fact about chimps is that they try to rip off/bite off your genitals to incapacitate you
Anonymous No.214029379 >>214029411 >>214029506
>>214029320 (OP)
The Monkey literally came out this year.
Anonymous No.214029384 >>214040982 >>214041930
Better Man
Anonymous No.214029394 >>214029506
Anonymous No.214029411
>>214029379
I would know, I played the Monkey myself.
Anonymous No.214029413
We aren't allowed to call them monkeys anymore
Anonymous No.214029427
You haven’t seen monkey shines?
Anonymous No.214029437 >>214029481 >>214029553 >>214029917 >>214030082 >>214040064 >>214041408 >>214047509
Why are orangutans chill while chimpanzees are freaks?
Anonymous No.214029462 >>214029742 >>214034311 >>214044804 >>214045986 >>214047369
>>214029320 (OP)
>>214029369
WARNING:
YOU ARE POSTING IN A DISINFORMATION THREAD BY BIG SNAKE.

WATCH THE REEDS FOR MOVEMENT.
Anonymous No.214029473 >>214029707
NOPE had some scurry monke parts...
Anonymous No.214029481
>>214029437
Orangutans are solitary while chimps are more tribal
Anonymous No.214029506 >>214039091
>>214029379
>>214029394
What are you fucking retarded?
Anonymous No.214029511 >>214036613 >>214039453
Apes good enough?
Congo, 1995
Anonymous No.214029518 >>214029533 >>214029541 >>214029644 >>214029677 >>214029742 >>214029781 >>214029824 >>214029834 >>214034908 >>214051563 >>214053137
There are barely any recorded incidents of chimps or monkeys hurting humans. There's this one monkey who attacked the woman and ate her face but that's it.
Chimps are actually quite chill and statistically harmless
Anonymous No.214029533
>>214029518
is that the instance where she brought it to her house and probably sucked its PP?
Anonymous No.214029538 >>214029581 >>214029603 >>214029615 >>214030066 >>214030260 >>214030313 >>214031903 >>214043151 >>214044973 >>214045789 >>214048187
>>214029320 (OP)
Why are monkeys capable of doing this?
Humans are stronger and taller, yet every time a person and a monkey fight, the person gets BTFO every single time.
Anonymous No.214029541
>>214029518
Simian hands typed this post.
Anonymous No.214029553 >>214030564
>>214029437
Orangutans can be pretty scary too
Anonymous No.214029581 >>214029607
>>214029538
>yet every time a person and a monkey fight
do you have some underground PVP human VS monkey combat source.
Anonymous No.214029603
>>214029538
Most humans are domesticated and hesitant to kill things, while chimps will just rip your arm off and beat you with it
Anonymous No.214029607
>>214029581
>human VS monkey combat
It's the national sport of Laos.
Anonymous No.214029615 >>214041149
>>214029538
Firstly a chimpanzee is a great ape not a monkey. The answer is because they have much denser muscle tissue, longer canines and no self-preservation instincts.
Anonymous No.214029638 >>214041930 >>214046335 >>214047561
>>214029320 (OP)
Horror kino. Bombed catastrophically.
Anonymous No.214029644 >>214029928 >>214050099
>>214029518
You forgot to mention the birthday cake incident (don't research)
Anonymous No.214029677
>>214029518
important to mention that the woman who owned that chimp was mentally ill and fed him xanax

>Sandra had previously given Travis tea which she had laced with Xanax. He was also on medications for Lyme disease
Anonymous No.214029697
>>214029320 (OP)
This is literally the opening to Nope
Anonymous No.214029707
>>214029473
this for about twenty minutes or so
Anonymous No.214029711 >>214029894
>>214029320 (OP)
Hans Zimmer - HOT YOUNG HOLLYWOOD REBEL ROCK STAR
Anonymous No.214029742
>>214029462
>>214029518
>t.
Anonymous No.214029745 >>214034085 >>214034650 >>214039453
>>214029320 (OP)
there is an old movie with Ron Perlman on an island where he and a team of scientist must fight wild killer baboons. If it is only half as good as I remember it it's an easy 7/10 and a great time.
Anonymous No.214029781 >>214029851 >>214030148 >>214032115 >>214046351 >>214047475 >>214050320
>>214029518
They have a predilection for violence. Do not trust the chimpanzees.
Anonymous No.214029796
>>214029369
you mean bunnies
Anonymous No.214029824
>>214029518
that woman had the wirst luck ever, chimp was on withdrawal, she had a new haircut which he never saw before and she picked up his only friend (a doll) and took it away.
Anonymous No.214029834
>>214029518
fake, they are accounted for 50% of the crime in the US
Anonymous No.214029851 >>214030148
>>214029781
>4 year war
>6 killed
Anonymous No.214029894
>>214029711
the fuck is this shit
Anonymous No.214029917 >>214030380
>>214029437
Orangutans will rape human women.
Anonymous No.214029928 >>214029993 >>214030003 >>214030089 >>214034222 >>214045866
>>214029644
>St. James and LaDonna adopted a chimpanzee named Moe in 1967, not long after his birth in Tanzania.[3][4] Tanzanian poachers had killed his mother when he was one day old, leaving him an orphan.[5] St. James and LaDonna were unable to have children due to LaDonna suffering from uterine cancer and requiring a hysterectomy, so they raised him as their own.[4]
If they had adopted a real child none of that shit would have happened.
White people are really stupid.
Anonymous No.214029954 >>214030083 >>214049889
Anonymous No.214029993
>>214029928
Yeah tell me about it. Not only do they adopt wild animals, they also bring in hordes of wild animals into their countries through immigration.
Anonymous No.214030003
>>214029928
>adopted a real child none of that shit would have happened.
I'm not so sure about that. Might have ended up worse
Anonymous No.214030043 >>214030516 >>214039344
>you'll live long enough to see orangutans become extinct
Anonymous No.214030066
>>214029538
This actually isn't true, there isn't a single instance of a single chimp killing or grossly maiming a grown man. It's always either a group of chimps or a freak incident like Travis.
Anonymous No.214030082 >>214030564 >>214034875 >>214035024
>>214029437
To more fully answer what other posts said, it's the difference between solitary animals and social animals. Solitary animals generally have fewer boundaries and tolerate more behavior, while social animals play mind games and are more competitive. Both will fuck you up if you cross their line.
Anonymous No.214030083
>>214029954
SHAAAKMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Anonymous No.214030089
>>214029928
Idk mang, the story says they only suffered the monke attack because two unrelated chimps escaped their enclosures while they were hanging out with Moe. Seems like an outside context problem. A DnD scenario where evil monkes descend out of nowhere.
Anonymous No.214030148 >>214036769 >>214036842 >>214044658
>>214029781
>>214029851
One my uni electives was a cultural anthropology course about iirc Papua New Guinea tribes that basically fought like this.
They had battles that would end at the first death. They loved their 1/0 KD ratios.
Anonymous No.214030260
>>214029538
chimps are significantly stronger than humans
Anonymous No.214030313
>>214029538
monke are a species that are naturally maxed out in both DEX and STR
Anonymous No.214030380 >>214030583 >>214033923 >>214044826 >>214050146
>>214029917
Human men will rape orangutans.
Not a joke (the article and the language...)
https://www.bbc.com/pidgin/tori-46388767
John Smith No.214030516
>>214030043
I hope the Niggers gonna be the next
Anonymous No.214030564
>>214029553
>>214030082
The worst I've ever seen an orang do is grab a dude through some bars at a zoo and refuse to let go.
Anonymous No.214030583
>>214030380
BBC Pidgin is the craziest shit ever.
It's one of those things they put out so heretics will identify themselves by critiquiqing it.
Anonymous No.214030713 >>214030840
Any Jungle horror movies that aren't cannibal movies?
Anonymous No.214030731 >>214030751 >>214030791 >>214030940 >>214031762 >>214032952 >>214032991 >>214044856 >>214045961
Is this the thread?
Anonymous No.214030751 >>214030940
>>214030731
ZAMN
Anonymous No.214030791
>>214030731
>slides up
>shows you his ass
>refuses to elaborate
Anonymous No.214030840
>>214030713
First half of Peter Jackson's King Kong
Anonymous No.214030940
>>214030731
>>214030751
Still, jobs against a grizzley
Anonymous No.214031064
That one of the monkey checking dubs
Anonymous No.214031479 >>214031701 >>214031962 >>214032132 >>214035708 >>214046838
>The Gombe Chimpanzee War, also known as the Four-Year War,[3][4] was a violent conflict between two communities of chimpanzees in Gombe Stream National Park in the Kigoma region of Tanzania between 1974 and 1978.

>The two groups were once unified in the Kasakela community. By 1974, researcher Jane Goodall noticed the community splintering.[5] Over a span of eight months, a large party of chimpanzees separated themselves into the southern area of Kasakela and were renamed the Kahama community. The separatists consisted of six adult males, three adult females and their young.[5] The Kasakela was left with eight adult males, twelve adult females and their young.

>During the four-year conflict, all males of the Kahama community were killed, effectively disbanding the community. The victorious Kasakela then expanded into further territory but were later repelled by two other communities of chimpanzees.

>In her 1990 memoir Through a Window: My Thirty Years with the Chimpanzees of Gombe, she wrote:

>For several years I struggled to come to terms with this new knowledge. Often when I woke in the night, horrific pictures sprang unbidden to my mindβ€”Satan [one of the apes], cupping his hand below Sniff's chin to drink the blood that welled from a great wound on his face; old Rodolf, usually so benign, standing upright to hurl a four-pound rock at Godi's prostrate body; Jomeo tearing a strip of skin from DΓ©'s thigh; Figan, charging and hitting, again and again, the stricken, quivering body of Goliath, one of his childhood heroes.[23]

Adaptation when?
John Smith No.214031701
>>214031479
Why do you want more documentaries from Detroit and Baltimore?
Anonymous No.214031740
Turns out...
Anonymous No.214031762 >>214031799 >>214032116 >>214032192 >>214032259 >>214032303 >>214040191 >>214044335 >>214050178 >>214051675
>>214030731
So it seems
Anonymous No.214031772 >>214031848
>>214029320 (OP)
unless ur a disabled woman theres no way a chimp is beating you in a fight
Anonymous No.214031799
>>214031762
>They see me rollin', they hatin'...
Anonymous No.214031848 >>214031866
>>214031772
please fight with a chimp and tell us the outcome esl
Anonymous No.214031866 >>214031921
>>214031848
there are no chimps in my area
Anonymous No.214031903 >>214032217
>>214029538
>Humans are stronger
No.
Anonymous No.214031921 >>214031952
>>214031866
Got a mirror nearby, big fella?
Anonymous No.214031952 >>214032069
>>214031921
so am I a big fella or a chimp? 'cause chimps are extremely tiny midget apes
Anonymous No.214031962
>>214031479
>Name a chimp Satan
>Surprised when he does fucked up shit
Come on now, this is some Grima Wormtongue shit.
Anonymous No.214032069
>>214031952
I'm a different guy that just wanted to knock that softball you lobbed right out of the park.
You're alright, though.
Anonymous No.214032115
>>214029781

Wasn’t there a monkey war where they maimed a male chimp and then castrated him and ate his genitals in front of him?
Anonymous No.214032116 >>214033655 >>214034831
>>214031762
WEEEELLLLLLLLL

HE AIN'T MY BOY BUT THE BROTHER IS HEAVY
Anonymous No.214032132 >>214032431
>>214031479
>Satan [one of the apes], cupping his hand below Sniff's chin to drink the blood that welled from a great wound on his face
I can't believe Satan would do something so cruel
Anonymous No.214032192
>>214031762
Love this fat bitch
Anonymous No.214032217
>>214031903
We literally are, chimps are only 1.5x stronger pound-for-pound.
Anonymous No.214032259
>>214031762
>u mad tigercuck?
Anonymous No.214032303
>>214031762
okay I pull up
Anonymous No.214032431
>>214032132
It's pottery.
Anonymous No.214032671 >>214049836
Thread soundtrack:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kg76lxMeIoU
Anonymous No.214032952
>>214030731
You know he's been practicing that for weeks.
Anonymous No.214032991 >>214046573 >>214049742
>>214030731
I thought he was gonna spray liquid shit against the glass, was disappointed
Anonymous No.214033067
YOU LIKE A BONOBO?
Anonymous No.214033655
>>214032116
Where are they going?
Anonymous No.214033713
Chimp Crazy was a comfy doc
Anonymous No.214033755 >>214034075 >>214036613
>>214029320 (OP)
The only monke horror you need.
Anonymous No.214033923
>>214030380
>human
Anonymous No.214033978
>>214029320 (OP)
Monkeys have it hard enough. They don't need any negative propaganda coming out of Hollywood.
Anonymous No.214034075 >>214034099
>>214033755
The VHS cover is one of those from the video store horror aisle that used to scare the shit out of me as a kid.

See also: Child's Play, Chopping Mall, Zombie, Dolly Dearest, Gothic, The Howling, and Night of the Demons to name a few.
Anonymous No.214034085 >>214036613 >>214039243 >>214039453 >>214040331 >>214042667
>>214029745
I saw that a few times on tv back when I was a kid.
Anonymous No.214034099 >>214047414
>>214034075
Anonymous No.214034222
>>214029928
>Buddy and Ollie destroyed a majority of St. James' fingers, his left foot, most of his buttocks, both testicles, part of his torso, and parts of his face including his nose and lips
Cock status?
Anonymous No.214034311
>>214029462
LIFE COULD BE A DREAM
LIFE COULD BE A DREAM
DOO DOO DA BOOM SHA BOOM
Anonymous No.214034591
Would any of you be brave enough to go near an undomesticated monkey or ape?
Anonymous No.214034618
>>214029320 (OP)
GOOD question, anon. I feel that this is an untapped well with a lot of potential. It would be like Planet of the Apes, but horror!
Anonymous No.214034628
Its reality. I think of this scene every time I have to go outside and see niggers and whatnot.
https://youtu.be/J_HRetnxpSI?t=92
Anonymous No.214034650
>>214029745
What if it's as good as you remember it?
Anonymous No.214034665 >>214034705
orangutans are way more scary because they have been proven to plan and premeditate murder against their fellow orangutans out of nowhere
Anonymous No.214034703
She is trying to be some kind of right wing figure but all I see is real life Ari from Planet of the Apes. No matter how based she is, she is still a monkey that needs to stay in what ever monkey shithole shes from.
Anonymous No.214034705
>>214034665
>premeditate out of nowhere
Anonymous No.214034781
Maybe if I wear a sonnenrod I will pass off as white and not ape
Anonymous No.214034805 >>214034867
CAN I ASK YOU A NATURE QUESTION?
Anonymous No.214034831
>>214032116
The Saudi Royal Family has entirely too much money.
Anonymous No.214034867
>>214034805
NO
Anonymous No.214034875 >>214034979 >>214035870
>>214030082
This. But then you have the exception to the rule Bonobos. They are so chill with each other that it's borderline/overline gay. No joke. Males who have beef with each other will "penis fence". AKA, sword fight with their boners.
Anonymous No.214034908
>>214029518
>statistically
Statistics don't mean shit to the individual.
Anonymous No.214034979 >>214035027
>>214034875
i hate bonobos almost as much as chimps due to how they're just the other extreme, they just have orgies all day and do nothing else, isn't it because they evolved with barely any scarcity and hunting and nothing preying on them? they're like if niggers were completely nonviolent.
Anonymous No.214035024
>>214030082
this is really ignorant of animals, most predators that will fuck you up are solitary animals and apes are all over the place regarding aggression and social behaviour, orangutans are not solitary either, chimps are just aggressive animals in particular.
Anonymous No.214035027
>>214034979
I'm no biologist, despite thousands of hours of documentaries, journals and wikipedia under my belt. But yeah, Bonobos are just the other end of the extreme. When there's no struggle a social species just fucks everything. When there's tons of struggle a social species just "fucks" everything. Poetic, really.
Anonymous No.214035708
>>214031479
>Adaptation when
They should absolutely cast Leslie Jones.
Anonymous No.214035784
Any good kino of a great ape making a temporary nest?
Anonymous No.214035870
>>214034875
Bonobos are based. I love bonobos.
Anonymous No.214036184 >>214036613
>>214029320 (OP)
It was the best part of Nope and you really didn't see anything
Anonymous No.214036613
>>214029511
>>214033755
>>214034085
>>214036184
Nice choices. I'd also add Greystoke, the realistic Tarzan adaptation, to a certain extent.
Anonymous No.214036769 >>214036842 >>214038433
>>214030148
There are similar staged battles in Africa showing how it was before the Arabs and white man showed up. They just had spears and weak bows, battle would end when someone actually died (if at all) and the loser would pay tribute or cede the hunting ground. That's how life was before agrarianism forced communities to fight over land, and before industrialization created the means for one person to kill dozens with ease and complete emotional detachment.
Anonymous No.214036842
>>214036769
That and what >>214030148 said reminds me of the flashback scenes in Shaka Zulu, where the less-powerful tribes fight staged battles exactly like that. Then came the Horns of the Buffalo, iron discipline, and that's when shit got real.
Anonymous No.214038433 >>214039430
>>214036769
Bronze Age Greeks also fought this way, 90% of the deaths happened during the rout, after the line broke. After a couple niggas died, everyone ran. Humans are not psychically-equipped for murder.
Anonymous No.214038818
>>214029320 (OP)
Shakma & Phenomena
Anonymous No.214039030
>>214029320 (OP)
kek
Anonymous No.214039091 >>214039151
>>214029506
Awww, it's smiling :)
Anonymous No.214039151 >>214045142
>>214039091
It is weird though how smiling in every other species is a threat or submission but for humans it's usually seen as a nice greeting.
Anonymous No.214039243
>>214034085
>they finally got the names in the right position on the cover
Anonymous No.214039344
>>214030043
And thats why we should begin creating orbital ecologies tended by pongos wherein we humbly prostrate ourselves before the greatest ape and begin to learn their wisdom.
Anonymous No.214039430
>>214038433
>Humans are not psychically-equipped for murder
You contradicted yourself by admitting 90% of deaths happened during the rout
They used to pursue and slaughter people who were fleeing. In some cases when one army would surround another, the winning side would just slaughter all the defenseless soldiers to the last. People never had issues mass murdering each other during war
Anonymous No.214039453 >>214039487 >>214039738 >>214040264
>>214029511
There's like dozens of killer ape movies from the 30's on up through the 60's. Also the 80's version of The Murders In The Rue Morgue.

>>214029745
>>214034085
There's another one like this from the same period, Blood Monkey.
Anonymous No.214039487 >>214040678
>>214039453
Is it anything like The Edge?
Fuck I need a jungle setting/killer ape version of The Edge so fucking bad bros.

Hollywood jews, if you're reading this, this is a SURE BOX OFFICE SMASH fucking GET ON IT
Anonymous No.214039515 >>214039828
Anonymous No.214039738 >>214045913
>>214039453
Man F. Murray Abraham has starred in some really cheap trash in the later half of his career.
You were fucking Salieri... you won an oscar.
Anonymous No.214039828
>>214039515
Kek
Anonymous No.214040064 >>214042063
>>214029437
Went to watch some orangutans in the local zoo and when that lad pulled himself up to his tree bed and put a blanket on himself I couldn’t help but think β€˜they gotta free him, he didn’t do nothing’
Can’t stomach that they got these fellas locked in life sentences FROM BIRTH
Let him out!
Anonymous No.214040191
>>214031762
>WOKE UP THIS MORNING
Anonymous No.214040264
>>214039453
It's a low-budget cryptid movie so not really.
Anonymous No.214040309 >>214044709
>>214029320 (OP)
Is it one of your cute little terminally-online "in jokes" to spell monkey with no 'y'?

I'm not new and I don't need to "lurk more", I just never did catch whatever board or whatever weeb thing where monkey is "monke".
Just your standard misspelling on purpose to be cute? Or is it a full blown "meme" of some kind??

I already know I'm not going to get any real answer so fuck all of you incels. It's MONKEY.
Anonymous No.214040331
>>214034085
>die insel
Whoa whoa whoa... there's no need for that, I don't even know you movie.
Anonymous No.214040346
Orangutans are the greatest
Anonymous No.214040403
Anonymous No.214040430 >>214044337
Anonymous No.214040435 >>214040829
>214040309
It would have worked if it was one of the first replies. But it's all the way down here.
Anonymous No.214040678
>>214039487
It's a low-budget cryptid movie so not really.
Anonymous No.214040721
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8FbMY-quW4
I like this scene
Anonymous No.214040829 >>214042343
>>214040435
We don't know who you're replying to when you do that. I can't hover my cursor and read the post I'm not going to scroll up and read each number looking for it. I don't know why you'd fuck it up like that. You're essentially replying to no one and no one will even know what you mean. A wasted post.
Anonymous No.214040982
>>214029384
>yeh so basically i want you to make a movie about me
>also I'm monkey
-How is it about you if you're a monkey?
>nobody will acknowledge that I'm a monkey
-Then why will you be a monkey?
>because i think i'm ugly uwu do you think i'm ugly?
-You're rich and famous and not black
>just trust me bro
Anonymous No.214041149
>>214029615
They're not THAT great, man. I'd say okay apes at best.
Anonymous No.214041408 >>214042696
>>214029437
All apes are pretty chill. Orangutans, bonobos, even gorillas. It's just chimps really.
Anonymous No.214041651
>>214029320 (OP)
Dunstin Checks In was quite frightening.
Anonymous No.214041930
>>214029384
>>214029638
This movie doesn't have any traction outside of /tv/
Anonymous No.214042063
>>214040064
Orangutans in zoos have a higher life expectancy compared to orangutans in the wild, orangutans are going to be rekt as a species in the near future anyway
Anonymous No.214042170 >>214042605
I know macaques love stealing other monkey babies but do they ever steal orangutan babies?
Anonymous No.214042264
>>214029320 (OP)
has anyone actually been known to be killed by a chimp?
Anonymous No.214042343
>>214040829
you can assume that they are replying to something they identified as "bait" post, basically an ingenuine post that when replied to just adds to more garbage in the thread.
a post that is intended to get replies in the thread and people arguing nonsense, giving that poster more (You)s that they desperately crave, as a form of dopamine. while that poster understands this, and purposefully denies them of that dopamine.
Anonymous No.214042605
>>214042170
An orangutan would fuck their shithole inside out if they touched their kid.
Anonymous No.214042667
>>214034085
>die insel
Ron Perlman was bashing chuddies way before glumpf's candidacy
Anonymous No.214042696 >>214042863
>>214041408
Baboons are also a nightmare
Anonymous No.214042863
>>214042696
Apparently they recognize guns and if they see you have one they will stay well away.
Anonymous No.214043151 >>214053419
>>214029538
Chimpanzees are stronger, more dexterous, and faster than humans. They also instinctively know where to attack: face, groin, and hands. Heavy damage to either of those areas will completely cripple the victim's defense. Even if the human is totally jacked, he stands little chance against a chimp.
Anonymous No.214043303
I liked the chimps scene from Gladiator 2
Anonymous No.214044335
>>214031762

He's literally me
Anonymous No.214044337
>>214040430
Bigfoot if he real
Anonymous No.214044510
monke thread. good thread
Anonymous No.214044658 >>214044744 >>214047249 >>214047271
>>214030148
thats a way more efficient way to do warfare though. germanic civilizations had a much more advanced form of it, with the same exact benefits. english term for it is champion warfare i suppose, heres the historical context
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmgang
i can boil it down to this
>two opposing groups/tribes have a disagreement
>they each select the best of the best from their group and they basically have a 1 on 1 duel to determine the outcome of the disagreement

this prevents needless bloodshed, and often times it wasnt even mortal combat, but a challenge of wit or dexterity, like poetry battle, or climbing challenge.
that means it wasnt just rewarding brute strength blood shed, and it wasnt creating needless amounts of it.
so ultimately superior to modern warfare in everyway. imagine being a leader who has a soldier that is so loyal and capable, he's willing to die for you, the tribe, and your ideals, and not only that, but hes actually so good you and all your social group believes in him to dominate the opponent.
Anonymous No.214044709
>>214040309
>I'm not new
>fuck all of you incels
You monke.
Anonymous No.214044744 >>214045256 >>214047912
>>214044658
this is the kind of shit that jewish christianity erased from our history by the way
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Champion_warfare
replaced with massive blood sacrifice ritual "war" in the desert lol goyim casualties go brrrrrrr
Anonymous No.214044804
>>214029462
that monkey is raping the human
Anonymous No.214044826
>>214030380
>35 cops with guns to liberate a monkey prostitute

Meanwhile Indonesia still has child prostitution in some areas
Anonymous No.214044856
>>214030731

>That drift
>That stare
>That ass

This webm is gold
Anonymous No.214044973 >>214045051
>>214029538
Tard strength
That etsubatsu guy would do the same if you kicked his model train set
Anonymous No.214045051 >>214046267
>>214044973
tard strength but really you mean stocky manlet strength in these instances. your example etsubatsu is a chubby kid. so more accurately can be described like
>Enhanced stability and force transfer due to low center of gravity and high inertia
Anonymous No.214045142
>>214039151
>It is weird though how smiling in every other species is a threat or submission
It's less the smiling and more the baring of teeth.
Anonymous No.214045256 >>214045273
>>214044744
There's no evidence that this actually happened outside of fiction.
Anonymous No.214045273
>>214045256
irony coming from disingenuous christfag jew slave
Anonymous No.214045789
>>214029538
Soulless beings have less qualms about using their full power to unleash their rage
Anonymous No.214045866 >>214045889
>>214029928
>[Ethnic group) people are really stupid
Why do you have to specify that every time
Anonymous No.214045889 >>214045911 >>214046469
>>214045866
obviously it tells you theyre not white, its a good weapon for discovering them
>i love white women
a white person wouldnt say that
Anonymous No.214045911
>>214045889
Yeah (((they))) would say
>I love Asian women
Anonymous No.214045913
>>214039738
Amadeus is pretty much the only good movie he had a major role in. Dude's filmography is majority garbage.
Anonymous No.214045961
>>214030731
Zesty
Anonymous No.214045986
>>214029462
WE NEED TO RETVRN
Anonymous No.214046087 >>214046174
monkeys >>>> apes
Anonymous No.214046174 >>214046476
>>214046087
Apes are a subset of monkeys, bozo.
Anonymous No.214046228 >>214046267 >>214046272
A healthy human male who's strong and has some decent experience fighting can defeat a chimp.

>muh pound for pound bs
They're 70 pounds. Any 155lbs man or over can beat a chimp.
Anonymous No.214046267 >>214046327 >>214046367
>>214046228
besides the "tard strength" advantage
>>214045051
they also have the advantage in brutality, if you really threaten them and its 1on1 mortal combat. theyre going to rip your eyes out and bolt around before you can touch them, because theyre a fucking animal that climbs trees all day and you train in the gym for a couple hours few times a week.
Anonymous No.214046272 >>214046300
>>214046228
I would love to see someone attempt this. They'd get fucking eviscerated
Anonymous No.214046300 >>214046370 >>214046443
>>214046272
You're fucking delusional if you think a kickboxer can't just kick a chimp in the head and kill it. Avoid the fangs and you're good. They can't push, they're not fast, they're not agile. They can grab, pull and bite and they're still not stronger than an average fit male.
Anonymous No.214046327
>>214046267
Checkmate, sorry monkebros
Anonymous No.214046335
>>214029638
Times you were forgotten after two weeks like The Better Man?
Anonymous No.214046351
>>214029781
>calls monkey satan
>acts surprised when it starts drinking blood
Anonymous No.214046367 >>214046422
>>214046267
Chimps are retarded, you absolute mongrel. They're not agile boxers with footwork to be darting around you, have you seen how they fight? They jump in place for intimidation but when approaching a target they take slow steps forward.
Mexican27 No.214046369
Wesh pourquoi un singe mange de la chair?
Anonymous No.214046370 >>214046407
>>214046300
They can climb up your body like a tree and gouge your eyes faster than you can blink.
Mexican27 No.214046404
Wesh pourquoi un singe mange de la chair
Anonymous No.214046407 >>214046465
>>214046370
You absolute fucking retard. Chimps aren't Sonic the hedgehog. They climb you if you get in range.
Anonymous No.214046417
>>214029369
That may be a fact but it isn't fun
Anonymous No.214046422 >>214046490 >>214046514
>>214046367
streetfights arent boxing matches. muh footwork and technique, like i said its going to gouge your eyes out, swing from a tree, hook your head smash you to the ground. this is a walk in the park for them. they live in a warrior state of dude and the leaders are always fighting and getting challenged. normie doesnt compete with them, if they have a bunch of combat experience and know how to punch and wrestle, capable of ripping the things limbs off when you got them in a grip, etc then maybe they can do well. but not just anyone that in a weight class.
>They jump in place for intimidation
thats because they dont want to fucking mangle their big brother or whoever theyre merely jockeying for position with, its not life or death there
Anonymous No.214046443
>>214046300
Lmao you're fucking insane
That would be hilarious, they'd literally rip the guy's feet off
Anonymous No.214046465
>>214046407
How is a kickboxer going to beat up a chimp he can't get close to
Anonymous No.214046469
>>214045889
Trvke
Anonymous No.214046476
>>214046174
You know what I mean
Anonymous No.214046490 >>214046583 >>214046591
>>214046422
>swing from a tree
So using the environment is okay? Nothing stops a man from throwing rocks at it or hitting it with a stick, then.

If using the environment is not acceptable, then, again, a man still wins, because he's bigger, faster, stronger, smarter. One good kick from any decently trained kickboxer WILL KO a 70lb chimp. Quit fooling yourself. Just because you're fat and out of shape doesn't mean others are too.
Anonymous No.214046514
>>214046422
You know humans can bite, gouge eyes and kick them in the nuts just the same, right? You act like these are exclusively animal traits and humans don't do them in do or die scenarios
Anonymous No.214046573
>>214032991
that would've been the mother of all power moves. and the zoo janny would've had to clean it up hehe
Anonymous No.214046583 >>214046687
>>214046490
>because he's bigger, faster, stronger
Chimps are 50% stronger than humans
Anonymous No.214046591 >>214046724
>>214046490
funny thing is i love kickboxing, i wouldnt say im good at it but those are my favorite exercises at the gym. hitting the heavy bag for cardio and pain training.
if im imagining the scenario play out where i try to kick an aggressive, in his prime, fully aware of the situation (i intend to harm him) male chimp. hes going to juke my kick over his head, lunge at my crotch and get me off balance, then hes literally in my anus and my eyes are gone too.
the only real disadvantage they have is the chimps inclination to not want to do that to a human, you would really need to make him hate humans through cruel conditioning, to see how this competition would go
Anonymous No.214046687
>>214046583
POUND FOR POUND, YES. AND A CHIMP WEIGHS 70LBS. HE'S 50% STRONGER THAN A 70LBS MAN, NOT A 185LBS FIGHTER
Anonymous No.214046720
>me and the boys looking at the homosapiens acting cocky on a mongolian basket weaving forum again
Anonymous No.214046724 >>214046942 >>214046972 >>214047023 >>214047080 >>214047171 >>214055392 >>214056319
>>214046591
Chimps are short. You'd be throwing low kicks, not kicks high enough you'd be off balance if you miss or it grabs you.

I mean you can doubt yourself if you want. I'm a 10-2 kickboxer with also some bjj and wrestling experience so I'm confident in myself. Being aggressive, staying calm and not panicking, managing distance. I'm sure the average fighter at my gym even the lower weight guys could handle a chimp.
Anonymous No.214046838
>>214031479
>Monkeys effectively have gang wars
So that's where they get it from.
Anonymous No.214046942
>>214046724
>you'd be throwing low kicks

That chimp is still going to grab you, it just takes one grab then it's game over, you can throw the hardest punch or kick and it still wouldn't matter since they have ridiculously strong muscle tissue

An animal that swings in trees all day is going to have faster reflexes than any human
Anonymous No.214046972 >>214047116
>>214046724
I would legit pay $100 for a ticket to watch you try it.
I'll bet thousands of people would. You could make a fortune.
Reason it hasn't been done before is because you're the only person stupid enough to believe he could win a fight against a chimp
Anonymous No.214046995
>>214029369
That wasnt fun.
Downvoted sir
Anonymous No.214047023
>>214046724
The only way you could possibly win is just avoiding the chimp until he tired out, their endurance is not great. Otherwise you're getting dismembered.
Anonymous No.214047080 >>214047202 >>214047340
>>214046724
You are trolling son
I'd love to hear your strategy on how you would 1v1 this fucker with no weapons and not get murdered
Anonymous No.214047116 >>214047144
>>214046972
>Reason it hasn't been done before is because you're the only person stupid enough to believe he could win a fight against a chimp
there are plenty of poor, desperate idiots that would gladly go up against a chimp in exchange for a potential fortune, the real difficulty is that no TV channel/streaming service would televise it and no one with any real fighting pedigree is desperate enough to do it while other options exist (even if you win you're forever blacklisted from anything but animal fights)
Otherwise we'd have a 24/7 channel of human vs animal fights. What would the arena even be like though, octagon seems too favourable for the ape.
Anonymous No.214047144 >>214047251
>>214047116
They don't televise cockfights or dogfights either but they still happen. Nobody is dumb enough to try kickboxing a chimp, LMFAO
Anonymous No.214047171
>>214046724
I would love to see the horrified expression on anon's face once he's actually in a ring with an angry chimpanzee and realizes what he's signed up for
Anonymous No.214047202 >>214047227 >>214047255
>>214047080
if it's not on a time limit I would just wait for it to sleep and then gouge it's eyes out. Once it's blind I just have to keep provoking it from afar until it's exhausted enough for me to clobber it.
With a time limit I'm probably dead, I'd try hit and run, grabbing and breaking it's fingers when it lunges at me until it is incapacitated and even then it will probably still manage to grab and bite me eventually.

This is all assuming I'm somehow at peak fitness during the fight, IRL I wouldn't last a full minute before losing my breath.
Anonymous No.214047227 >>214047251
>>214047202
depends on the arena then. if its in the wild then he can just sleep in a tree and goodluck sneaking up on him.
Anonymous No.214047249
>>214044658
You'd still have to deal with the discontentment of "we outnumber them ten times over but because their big guy beat ours we have to prostrate ourselves".
Anonymous No.214047251
>>214047144
You vastly overestimate the average human's intelligence and desperation, I've seen a man drink coolant for 50 bucks convinced he could just throw it up after and be fine.

Goat fights are the ultimate in animal entertainment imo, cockfights are too short and dogfights make me feel bad for the dog. Goats go forever and only have one move so it's just BONK kino over and over again. Neither of those involve a human though, I've never heard of a human fighting an animal for cash and entertainment, not in our century at least.

>>214047227
Oh yeah for sure if we are fighting in its natural setting no way is a human winning without a weapon.
Anonymous No.214047255 >>214047301
>>214047202
>I'd love to hear your strategy on how you would 1v1 this fucker
>Wait for him to fall asleep
Oh my God I can't believe how retarded this anon is
Anonymous No.214047271
>>214044658
this only works in tribal society though. In today's world, rich countries would just import the best fighters or whatever is relevant and win every single conflict, there is nothing keeping a champion attached to the country without tribal ties.
Anonymous No.214047301 >>214047359 >>214047390 >>214047665 >>214049496 >>214053886 >>214056296 >>214056406
>>214047255
kek it is the only viable strategy for a probable win without a weapon you moron. If a chimp grabs any of your limbs, they will crush it, if it grabs a piece of flesh, it will tear it off, if it grabs your head, it will crush it like a coconut. The only chance a human has it to outsmart it and the situation originally described gives the human 0 resources other than patience and time to do so.
Anonymous No.214047340
>>214047080
I have more muscle than that chimp, how limp wristed are you
Anonymous No.214047359 >>214047373 >>214047422 >>214047452
>>214047301
Holy shit you people are retarded. Chimps aren't fucking superheroes. They don't have the strength to rip out limbs from a healthy strong man. Retards the lot of you. No fighting experience, no clue about anything.
Anonymous No.214047369
>>214029462
>Iβ€²m ready for this, there's no denying
>I'm ready for this, you stop me falling
>Iβ€²m ready for this, I need you all in
>Iβ€²m ready for this, so, darling, hold my hand
Anonymous No.214047373
>>214047359
lol sure anon, I'm sure your many fights with chimps have informed your enlightened fightgod opinion. Nigger keep quiet and go back to giving men handjobs on the mat.
Anonymous No.214047390 >>214047493
>>214047301
>if it grabs your head, it will crush it like a coconut
Guess what the chimp is going to do when you try gouging it's eyes out with your fucking thumbs lol
Imagine your own reaction if somebody tried to gouge your eyes out in your sleep with their fingers
Now imagine you're a literal beast with no inhibitions and overpowered retard strength and somebody tries to gouge your eyes out in your sleep with your fingers lmfao
Just stay away from chimps
Anonymous No.214047414
>>214034099
I liked this one
Anonymous No.214047422
>>214047359
>They don't have the strength to rip out limbs from a healthy strong man.
No, they'll just rip of your fingers, your balls, and your face, and then literally bite your ass off
You're so delusional it's fascinating, I'm having a great time watch you dig yourself deeper into this hole
Anonymous No.214047450
>>214029320 (OP)
Ad Astra gas a good monkey sequence from what I can remember.
Anonymous No.214047452
>>214047359
>rip out limbs
Learn to read retard, the previous poster clearly said ''crush''. Fucking idiot.
Anonymous No.214047475
>>214029781
>predilection for violence.
Source? Most of that can be attributed to socio-economic factors
Anonymous No.214047493
>>214047390
anon this is my ideal strategy, I don't expect it to go this way IRL lol. An alternative I've considered is putting my full weight into a foot pressed onto it's chest and then stomping its head to bits but when it grabs my leg I'm fucked and I have no idea how hard a chimps head is. The eyes seemed like a better gamble since if I pull it off I probably win whereas the kicks would need a shitload of kicks to get some real damage in which would mean putting myself at risk longer.

But yeah, just staying away is the only good solution.
Anonymous No.214047509
>>214029437
Chimps are black
Anonymous No.214047518
>>214029320 (OP)
ITT
Anonymous No.214047561
>>214029638
>Bombed
Rent free.
Made its Australian grant money back before the film even came out
Anonymous No.214047665
>>214047301
Why is monke breaking beans
Anonymous No.214047708 >>214047752
>>214029320 (OP)
silver back gorillas arent real
Anonymous No.214047752
>>214047708
they would be if it weren't for all the poaching
Anonymous No.214047912 >>214048180
>>214044744
>things were so much better back when nothing was written down
>don't ask me how I know, I just know
Anonymous No.214048121
>>214029320 (OP)
Brother monke would never.
Anonymous No.214048180 >>214048417
>>214047912
couldnt you tell i have a higher iq than you, from my posts? it took me 10 seconds to dig this up to prove you wrong shlomo
Anonymous No.214048187
>>214029538
They're made to swing in trees all day. Imagine if humans were all born knowing how to do gymnastics and acrobatics and that's all they did 24/7.
Anonymous No.214048417
>>214048180
>look at my jpg that has nothing to do with what you said
besides you write like a moron
Anonymous No.214049245 >>214053852
>>214029320 (OP)
Anonymous No.214049496
>>214047301
Stupid monkey, that's not how you snip beans.
Anonymous No.214049674
>>214029320 (OP)
I remember there being an episode of Nip Tuck about a woman who got her face ripped off by a monkey. It was pretty horrifying.
Anonymous No.214049742 >>214056571
>>214032991
Gorillas are vegetarians so they never get runny diarrhea unless they eat something like chocolate.
Anonymous No.214049809
>Despite chimpanzees making up less than 20% of the ape population..
Anonymous No.214049810
fucking hate monkeys
ugly and stupid animals
Anonymous No.214049836
>>214032671
great song
Anonymous No.214049857 >>214050039 >>214053795
Anonymous No.214049889
>>214029954
He shocked audiences everywhere.
Anonymous No.214050039
>>214049857
I imagine he started the feel the agonizing pain a few seconds after this video ended. infection is a serious risk of death in such shitholes
Anonymous No.214050099
>>214029644
Idk why this anon said not to research, it's an extremely interesting story.

>Moe disappeared in the summer of 2008. He had been living at a ranch for performing animals, Jungle Exotics, in San Bernardino. Construction workers reported they had seen him at a home near Jungle Exotics; other witnesses spotted him heading towards a mountain. St. James and LaDonna hired a helicopter to do flyovers in an attempt to flush him out of hiding, and authorities searched the San Bernardino National Forest, but he has never been found.
Anonymous No.214050146
>>214030380
>Egypt zoo face fire say dem paint Donkey to look like Zebra
Fuck this is hilarious.
Anonymous No.214050178 >>214056677
>>214031762
Imagine being that ape. Like from his perspective, an advanced alien race abducted him and a bunch of other people, but unlike all the rest of the abductees, the aliens inexplicably give him access to their technology and let him learn how to use it, so now he just spends his days driving around the cages styling on his former predators. What a life.
Anonymous No.214050209
>>214029320 (OP)
Link is kino just for the scene where the evil monkey stares at the Karate Kid's girlfriend while she's naked.
Anonymous No.214050320
>>214029781
Why the fuck would you call an animal Satan?
Anonymous No.214050502 >>214050649
>>214029320 (OP)
MONKEY SHINES, directed by Romero. It's always been underrated, overlooked gem of a horror. Watch that shit nigga
Anonymous No.214050649 >>214051335 >>214051381
>>214050502
luv ella
Anonymous No.214051335
>>214050649
what a menacing looking creature
Anonymous No.214051381
>>214050649
Thank you monke for bringing me my heroin.
You truly are my best friend.
Anonymous No.214051563 >>214051923
>>214029518
>webm of a monkey literally peeling the scalp off an old man
>webm of an orangutan grabbing a mans leg and trying to bite a chunk off
Anonymous No.214051675
>>214031762
Anonymous No.214051711
>>214029320 (OP)
Didn't you watch Nope?
Anonymous No.214051857
>>214029320 (OP)
The true story of 90000 baboons going on a blood-drinking rampage during a drought, not a bad movie at all.
Anonymous No.214051923
>>214051563
There are way more that two videos of crazed MAGA lunatics attacking people, yet you don't seem concerned about that?
Anonymous No.214052755
post more violent chimp webms
Anonymous No.214053137
>>214029518
Anonymous No.214053419
>>214043151
>Chimpanzees are stronger
Pound for pound, yes, but not overall.
Anonymous No.214053795
>>214049857
Based monke
Feels cathartic watching jeets getting rekt
Anonymous No.214053852
>>214049245
stupid cunt deserved it lmao
Anonymous No.214053886
>>214047301
Why does grandpa look angry every time he snaps a bean?
Anonymous No.214054109
thanks for the monke horror recommendations anons
Anonymous No.214054918
>>214029320 (OP)
It makes Americans racially uncomfortable
Anonymous No.214055392
>>214046724
You’re a fucking idiot. I’ve been in more actual fights than the majority of this faggot board and there isn’t a chance in hell I’d go against a feral fanged animal known for ripping off genitalia and mutilating faces.
Anonymous No.214056296
>>214047301
kek I hated peeling beans as a kid, probably had the same grimace as I did it
Anonymous No.214056319
>>214046724
good bait, congrats
Anonymous No.214056406 >>214056581
>>214047301
it's over for women.
Anonymous No.214056571
>>214049742
I had a plate of vegetables yesterday for lunch and had diarrhea after. Not even joking.
Anonymous No.214056581
>>214056406
lmao, why is this so funny
Anonymous No.214056677
>>214050178
It's actually a female pongo, no flanges