Thread 214066035

How we feeling tarnishebros?
Alex has played Dark Souls before and has replayed Elden Ring 6 times apparently.

How will they implement gay race communism?

>>214066035 (OP)
There is no universe in which this even has a chance of being good

>>214066035 (OP)
>Zanzibart... forgive me

>>214066035 (OP)
Alex Garland is a hack whose slop only appeals to midwit pseuds

>>214066063
Why would they do that?

>beat the game 6 times.
Thats already above and beyond compared to other directors experience with source material.

>>214066035 (OP)
I've never seen an Alex Garland film I really liked. Most of his films sound interesting on paper so I've watched most of them, but something gets lost in execution. Tough to put my finger on it but they just feel emotionally flat, nothing really hooks me in or sticks with me, they're bland experiences

Does anyone know if he used summons? I need to tell him he didn't beat the game.

>>214066131
>Why would they do that?
Me everytime I watch a movie adaption of a video game and the message is progressive drivel.

>>214066035 (OP)
>About to fight Radahn
>Melina: Torrent, you go left. Mimic tear, you go right. And tarnished... you just be tarnished! *Smirks*
>Tarnished: Together, we are elden ring.

r8 my skillz
https://youtu.be/Q4nNhTgyrQs

>>214066253
how da fuck you beat this game with no summons

i played and beat de, 1+3, bb and sekiro no problem... this game i just can't. i play th bosses on my gamer friends account and i just can't not die

>>214066408
Anon, I've beaten this game at literal rl1 with no summons. My resume is attached:
>>214066374

>>214066374
mummy's booby

The main character will probably be some jack of all trades that does a bit of everything with summons.

>>214066374
>buffs
>parries
Didnt beat/10

>>214066426
well done jason any tips for a bad souls vet i need to git gud

>>214066408
Just bash your head at the wall and you'll eventually do it. Ive seen some brain dead streamers beat melania albeit after like 500 tries.

>>214066035 (OP)
I can't wait to watch a quippy black woman fight the soldiers

>>214066296
I really hope it'll be more like the green knight and less the black knight

>>214066468
First you need to watch this video of me vs Morgott RL1 +0 axe
https://youtu.be/hOLLoPkH7gs

The higher mysteries of souls autism will reveal themselves.

Alex Garland is a good director and writer. So I honestly have no idea what to make of this movie with him.

>>214066527
I get what you're saying, but between those two movies I actually like Black Knight better. The Green Night was boring

No one gives a fuck about videogame movies, nigger. Go back to your cell.

Who will they play?

>>214066035 (OP)
At least they'll be ruining the weakest of the 6

>>214066035 (OP)
i finished the game and I still have no idea what the "story" was. why would I go see a movie about it?

>>214066612
Melina, patches and john elden.

>>214066035 (OP)
i have no hope for this the best thing about elden ring is its world and its gameplay the worst thing about elden ring is its lore and story shit cherry on top being the fat narcissist grrm shitting his initials all over the characters and world of elden ring as if the shit he provide to the story and world isnt the one thing thats truly bad about it.

>>214066535
subscreebed

>>214066296
sex (scene) with melina (and melania)

hello i'm here to audition for the role of Ranni the Witch

>>214066556
While i admittedly do remember enjoying watching black knight as a kid, Green knight had atmosphere, vibes and cinematography that would be the closest to how id want to see in elden ring.

>>214066804
excalibur is basically dark souls the movie

https://youtu.be/tQS3KeTlU2U

This scene comes to mind.

>>214066804
Yeah I get you, I just didn't particularly care for the movie. It had a lot of promise and a lot of good pieces that just didn't really come together to a satisfying whole. Sort of representative of how a lot of A24 movies miss the mark for me, it's like the talent is there, but they just never quite follow through all the way and deliver on it. I wouldn't mind at all if Elden Ring has similar aesthetics, I just hope they manage to tie it all together into something that doesn't feel like a total "meh" in the end

>>214066948
people like you are dangerously stupid an elden ring or souls movie should be about atmosphere and interesting world and not this trash you just posted jesus christ

>>214067133
>no boss fights in my boss fight movie

Gay fag detected.

>>214066035 (OP)
I feel good about it because hes the one who wanted to make a movie about it which means he is passionate about it and i respect passion projects

>>214066612
>Writers: George R.R. Martin

>>214067352
He's just there to collect his paycheck

>>214066253
He did but so did Miyazaki

>>214067352
I 100% believe he created the L O A T H S O M E D U N G E A T E R

>>214066634
It's basically if the Targaryens had superpowers and how that fucked up the world

>>214066035 (OP)
I'm so glad all fags now okay gay ass elden ring and my beloved dark souls (actual masterpiece) can rest in peace

I hope he leans hard into the horror aspect.
>Royal Revenants
>Fingercreepers
>Cemetery Shades
>Jar Innards
>Wormface
>T-Rex Crows
>Abductor Virgins

These are fodder in game but would be scarier than 99% of horror movie monsters.

>>214066035 (OP)
>Elden Ring
>Alex Garlan
ABSOLUTE MIDWIT SLOP

>>214066035 (OP)
>Alex Garland
Hahahaha it's gonna suck.

>>214067564
His movies usually have some body horror abomination at some point

>>214066035 (OP)
I'll bet 3 whole dolla that it won't even be half as good or capture 1/10th the atmosphere that that random ass straight to DVD movie A Knights War managed to

>>214066035 (OP)
>Alex Garland
The Beach is the most LITERALLY ME novel ever written. It genuinely disturbed me because I would do everything the protagonist did. I'm doomed :(

>>214067733
The last line of that novel still sticks with me after all these years lol. Great book.

>>214066035 (OP)
>Alex Garland
I'm hopefull only because he wrote Dredd 2012

Who are they going to make black?

>>214067803
You, the viewer

Will Garland include the shota yaoi pairing?

>>214067850
It's going to be fucking hilarious how much they tiptoe around the main villains, Mohg and Miquella, being fags.

>>214067784
For those of us of a certain age, it hits hard. Growing up with video games and Vietnam war movies. First book I've ever read that described the popular culture I'd been immersed in all my life. I'm also very susceptible to becoming obsessed with a hot French chick.

>>214066115
I..... am Zanzibart

>>214067867
>Mohg
not mohg. the DLC gives a new perspective on it. he's basically a (mind)rape victim.

>>214067867
Unironically would be perfect for miquella

Here's the trailer btw
https://youtu.be/f9G-sG9ucMw?si=UoX5NCv9e5Yu8Dwj

>>214067871
What did you think of the film? I remember thinking it looked pretty and sounded great, but was pretty let down by some casting and writing decisions. Garland didn't write the screenplay, so he didn't even participate in the production.

>>214067985
>Tarnished still think Miquella mindraped Mohg from his cocoon
Miquella didn't give up on the Haligtree until he got kidnapped. He was feeding it with his own body, he was all in. He didn't know if Malenia or Radahn were alive.

>>214067985
Guys was mohg actually indian?

>>214067542
>An hour later, her stomach began to cramp so badly that she could not go on. She spent the rest of that day retching up green slime. If I stay here, I will die. I may be dying now. Would the horse god of the Dothraki part the grass and claim her for his starry khalasar, so she might ride the nightlands with Khal Drogo? In Westeros the dead of House Targaryen were given to the flames, but who would light her pyre here? My flesh will feed the wolves and carrion crows, she thought sadly, and worms will burrow through my womb. Her eyes went back to Dragonstone. It looked smaller. She could see smoke rising from its wind-carved summit, miles away. Drogon has returned from hunting.

>Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up she was shitting brown water. The more she drank, the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew, and her thirst sent her crawling to the stream to suck up more water. When she closed her eyes at last, Dany did not know whether she would be strong enough to open them again.

>She dreamt of her dead brother.

>>214066063
Marica/Radagon transgenderism

>>214068058
The film looked great and the video game section was kino. But they fucked it up by having Leo fuck the French chick. In the book, his unrequited love for her is part of what drives him nuts. They gave it a happy ending too, which is the opposite of the unsettling ending of the book.
>I carry a lot of scars.

>>214068209
Third party, I wouldn't say it's unsettling, just true to life. I agree the film's ending is nicer, but it's in a parallel vein - you leave your young years behind after a certain point. Carrying a lot of scars isn't unsettling as much as just true.

>Alex has played Dark Souls before and has replayed Elden Ring 6 times apparently.
I'm sure plenty of people saw the original star wars movies, too.

I need to see what the budget is.. A24 doesn't sound like it will be very good. but who knows

>>214067352
Anything to avoid finishing Winds of Winter.

>>214068414
>I need to see what the budget is.. A24 doesn't sound like it will be very good. but who knows
Apparently around $100-200 million, it's supposed to be the most expensive movie A24 is going to produce so far.

>>214066408
Most bosses have a dominant damage type and are weak against another, so if you change your weapon element and items as required you can make the game pretty easy without needing to be decent at avoiding damage

I hope my nigga here shows up
Love this bitch singing

>>214066035 (OP)
>and has replayed Elden Ring 6 times apparently.
And he STILL wants to make a movie out of that mess of a story? I would understand if it was someone who never played the game and only knew a few characters from Twitter posts. But actually playing the game and thinking it would make a good movie? Oh my gosh, this is going to be a disaster.

What kind of quality are people expecting?
LOTR quality but more moody and thus slower paced
Witcher quality?
GoT?

>>214068555
It's A24 so it will be artsy fartsy but it won't have the budget to do the game justice.

>>214068355
Garland should write a sequel about a modern-day, divorced Richard in London, living a boring normie life. But his beach PTSD comes back and makes him seek out the survivors, 30 years later. I liked Trainspotting 2 so it's possible to strike a balance between nostalgia and something new.

>>214068555
Green Knight would be a fitting template

>>214066035 (OP)
If anyone can pull it off it'll be garland because he's one of the only modern directors who can make a film that relies on thematics instead of exposition (eg Annihilation), which is precisely what a souls adaptation requires.

I have 3 major problems though
1 - Video game adaptations are always terrible
2 - Garland's movies often fall off a cliff in the third act.
3 - I doubt A24 have the budget necessary to pull this off
>>214066408
>how da fuck you beat this game with no summons
You can't. It's designed around co-op/summoning. The bosses are absurdly bullshit cheap. Like an old capcom arcade game from the 80s.

>>214066035 (OP)
its simply not possible to fit the main beats of elden ring into 1 hour and forty minutes and be in any way coherent. Also the spectacle of the game requires way too much money for the type of films A24 makes. Only something like a sodestory makes any sense.

>>214068744
It could be a prequel set before the Shattering

>>214068795
I could see something like how life was like for Marika's royal family was like before the shattering work I guess. Something that focuses on court life and politics.

>>214068603
Anon, (You) can write that sequel yourself! Just change the character names. Not even kidding.

>>214068885
Good idea but I need to sober up first.

I think it would be kewl if the movie focused on the Godskins. They were always the most interesting and terrifying enemies in the game. Every time one popped up my asshole clenched and braced for impact.

>>214066035 (OP)
Elden Ring was such a massive disappointment. Instead of trying something different like Bloodborne or Sekiro, it’s just Dark Souls 4 with…. le horse!

>>214068497
>someone who never played the game and only knew a few characters from Twitter posts.
Oh you mean like 99% of video game adaptations?

>>214069435
Just get good. Simple as. That's literally all there is to beating them.
https://youtu.be/cFDvo9g5qK4

>>214069465
i don't even want to play the dungeons anymore at least with the old ones i liked to methodically kill everything at least once before running past everyone
elden ring is just run past everything and die solo at bosses for me

>>214069465
I thought that was the selling point? Dark Souls but open world.