Thread 214079490

You're Chris Watts in this exact moment, how do you get away with it?

>>214079490 (OP)
I would have simply dodged the mcnuggets

>>214079534
>how to send dead bodies to the moon

The volcano plan would have worked. If he just had a little more time he would have gotten away with it.

>>214080018
If he disabled GPS it unironically would have worked

>>214079490 (OP)
>Oil ive got to say Officer is tried dammit I tried my hardest to find and locate the bodies of my still living wife and children I looked for at grease 20 minutes for them and nothing absolutely nothing I can barrel back and forth butter its not going to change the outcome Officer I drummed up a mean ass appetite as in butthole im hungry real hungry for gaping farting butthole of which Is how I will be spending the rest of my evening, nudge me on msm messenger if you find anything Im always online

>>214080018
>>214080559

>>214079490 (OP)
>Unsheathes katana

You home alone when he rigs up the cutouts infront of the windows? Do that but rig a gas leak so he goes outside starts talking to his neighbour while also going YEAH HUNNY OK GIVE ME 5MINS ILL BRING EM IN JUST CHATTING WITH NEIGH HERE having him see you conversing with your wife before the explosion then fsking a suicide note saying she found out about the buttslut mistress and killed everyone he would be swimming in butthole right now

Try to remain ass sober.

>>214079490 (OP)
I wouldn't have said a single word, I would listen to what my neighbor had to say, and that's what no one did.

>>214079490 (OP)
I don't know if I could do it in that EXACT moment, but Chris's biggest mistake is that he stopped killing once he started.

If he'd immediately run across the street and murdered Limp Bizkit neighbor, he could have deleted the camera footage, claimed Shananananana had taken the kids and run off with him, and he would've been set.

>>214079490 (OP)
Pretend I'm going out back for a smoke, then hop into my homemade catapult and sproing on outta there.

>>214079490 (OP)
literally his only real chance at this point was to just fucking run. if we wasn't a borderline retarded golem he would have clearly seen the writing on the wall and ditched the entire country. living as a homeless guy on semi-remote south american beach somewhere HAS to be better than getting butt fucked in some shit smelling prison the rest of your entire natural life

>>214079490 (OP)
Crazy to think that him and Stayvun are in a cell together right now arguing about wether to play metal gear solid or silent hill on their PS1

>>214081491
>butt fucked in some shit smelling prison
Have you ever considered that's what Chris wanted all along?

Was getting caught part of his master plan!?!?!?

>>214079490 (OP)
That exact moment? You're pretty fucked thanks to Shanaans stupid fucking fat friend and because you didn't pre plan anything. You're only chance is to get out of town.
>Wait until the evening when everyone leaves
>Dip out with car, no phone
>Get as much out of the ATM as possible
>Buy gas in town and buy / fill up gas cans around town so cops don't have a direction you're headed
>Use cash for gas and needs from here on our
>Drive out to a national park or forest
>Park car at an outlook or cliff, preferably over moving water
>Leave suicide note and make it seem like you jumped
>Live as a vagabond
Would take a good amount of luck to even get that far, and you'd need to live as a bum the rest of your life but you'd technically "get away with it"

>>214080018
>>214080559
what's this about a volcano now?

>>214081594
apparently they found another man's underwear in his cell and a half-used tube of like KY or some shit recently. i am not even fucking around. he's either getting what he always wanted or he's getting the diametric OPPOSITE of what he wanted in the most ironic fashion possible

>>214081656
wouldn't be a bad idea to absolutely max out any credit cards you have to buy a bunch of useful/easily cash-resalable shit either. might as well

>>214081680
He started panicking and resorting to Looney Tunes-tier ways of getting rid of the bodies such as throwing them all into a volcano or building an ACME rocket and launching them to the moon

I would just like to give a reminder to any janitors or moderators on /tv/ that we are discussing the many TELEVISED documentaries, news interviews, and movies based on the Chris Watts case and as such, this completely qualifies as a Television & Film related discussion.

That means banning anyone in this thread would be unjust and a massive abuse of power.

>>214081680
His google history was mentioned during the trial.
>www.google.com/search?=how-to-build-a-catapult
>www.google.com/search?=longest-catapult-distance
>www.google.com/search?=how-gravity-works
>www.google.com/search?=is-antigravity-real
>www.google.com/search?=private-spaceship-rental

>>214081945
when are we gonna get a shock gif of this picture where he skitters out from around the wall and gets his face right up to the screen like that old rocking chair screamer

>>214081945
Why didn't Chris just paint a picture of a tunnel on a wall and wait for Shanann to crash the family minivan into it with the kids inside?

>>214081945
He should have hidden the bodies in her dumptruck

>Kill your wife for anal sex with your side chick because wife won't let you put it in her booty
>Don't even buttfuck the corpse once she's already dead and still warm
I truly don't understand this guy

why is /tv/ obsessed with this guy? it's like watching highschool girls gossiping over someone, get a fucking grip of your lives

>>214079490 (OP)
>no like I just love those kids so much, like i love them soooo much, they're my whole life

this guy was a legit dead eyed killer, he did not give two fucks

>>214082230
The video where he gets caught is funny.

>>214082230
is this a bot? literally every watts thread almost this exact same post pops up, down to the "highschool girls gossiping"

fucking dogshit ass website. what is with you insane faggots and repeating the same shit over and over in verbatim. kill yourself

>>214082260
He was a cold blooded actual retard.

>>214081594
>a nugget?

>>214082031
... I don't know :|

>>214081680
>>214080018
There was no "volcano plan."
He searched for specific volcanoes in Mexico because they would have been hiking locations, as he was planning a trip there with the mistress. It was unrelated to the murders or body disposal.
Planning to drive from North of Denver all the way to the middle of Mexico where the volcanoes are, with the bodies in his car/truck, would be too retarded even for Chris

>>214082376
>...A neighbor?
>A Limp Bizkit Neigbor.

>>214079490 (OP)
Well, officer, what can I say? I prefer to keep my wife's trash outside. She's a messy woman.

>>214082506
You definitely need to lurk these threads more because you don't know Chris the way we do.
Explain the moon, faggot.

>>214082506
Hi Nichol

>>214082132
>He should have hidden the bodies in her dumptruck
lol

>>214082540
I probably lurk these threads even more than you do, and I also bothered to do a tiny bit of outside research which revealed the true context of the volcano searches

>>214082833
>Doesn't even know the distance from the earth to the moon
Brainlet

>TFW not in prison forever
He's there right now, trying to make the best of it.
Count your blessings, fellas.

>>214081527
If prison had PS1 games, I'd get myself arrested right now. No bills, no responsibility, just chilling out and playing vidya with the bros.

>>214083116
You could get the prison vidya if you went and committed the crime/s in some Northern European country instead

>>214082031
>>214082447

>>214083081
he doesnt even get to serve his sentence for something normal like killing a guy or robbing a bank or something

they're gonna be on his ass forever in there because he killed his wife and his own daughters

they already had to transfer him once for his own safety

Are all Metallica fans like this?

>>214083338
its that damn metal music

>>214079490 (OP)
I wouldn’t say a single word to them. I would listen to what they have to say, and that’s what no one did.

>>214082230
Its the same reason shot caller, and all the other tv memes are so popular. They dont descend into ragebait and actually contain OC. people just try be funny. paid glowies/shills dont target them. some of the few goodfaith threads even made on this shithole

>>214082230
funny

>>214083395
"I AM ME!" should be on there twice, because it's on the board twice, she forgot she was herself the first time

>>214083338
Why did Chris always wear such big shirts?

>>214083544
He used to be fat

>>214082031
>nuggets?

so what was his plan
>where is your wife and kids
>idk lol
>ok bye
????

>>214081446
lol

>>214084055
He would have gone home and cleaned things up and tried to stage it so it looked like Shanann took the kids and left him. He could have used the real marital troubles and his affair as explanations for why she might have done that.
He didn't get a chance to do this because Shanann missed an appointment early that morning and her friends noticed she was missing much faster than he expected, so the authorities were already alerted before he got back there

>>214084055
He was literally drunk on the possibility of anal sex with his mistress. His mind could only contain one thought, and it was not about family preservation. It was about being balls deep in a human asshole.

>>214081446
he had no idea Limp Bizkit neighbor's camera recorded him at night. By that logic he should've just Postal'd the entire neighborhood, but that would put an even bigger and more retarded target on his back

>>214084295
Chris actually dod know about the camera, which is hilarious. The neighbour told Chris to park in view of the camera because cars were being broken into in the area.
Chris pulled his car into the garage that night because he knew the camera was there.

>obsessed with a chocolate starfish
>limp bizkit neigbour was your undoing
poetry

>>214084295
You cant catch the slizzy bizzy, the slizzy bizzy catches you dog.

I DARE ANY ONE OF YOU WITH A STRAIGHT FACE TO SAY YOU WOULDNT HAVE DONE THE SAME

>>214084367
oh wow he was just really really fucking stupid wasnt he

>>214082204
It wasnt just the anal, it was the fact he'd go home every night working out in the oil fields and be pelted with nuggies

You'd all go insane with a stupid obnoxious social media addict bitch of a wife like Shaartnan

>>214079490 (OP)
He had a multitude of options, its kinda mad considering he himself knows how long it takes to change - he used to be a fatty.

>Divorce
>Force SHANANANANAN to work out
>Prostitutes
>Walk out

and lastly he could've just faked his own death, sure thats insane but it would've been a lot less insane then what he chose to do and is probably in Chris's wheel house - considering the moon and volcano plans.

Problem is he got his shit together and fell for the first chick that gave him attention, man needed to spread his seed, so many sluts out there he could've banged hundreds for the rest of his life to the point where he wasnt even hiding it, that alone would make SHANANANANAN leave.

If this is your body type right now anon know that its not too late, you can still slay puss. But dont let it go to your head.

>chris searched the lyrics of Battery by Metallica after disposing of his family's bodies
>Lunacy has found me
>Cannot stop the Battery
>Pounding out aggression
>Turns into obsession
>Cannot kill the Battery
>Cannot kill the family

Who wrote this shit?

>>214083395
Kek

>>214084526
Mine isn’t obsessed with social media, she just shows me shit I’m not interested in and then gets mad when I’m not as enthused as she is. It’s just weird.

>>214079490 (OP)
He's already fucked in this moment because he didnt run as soon as he did the crime. This moron had dumped the bodies by this point at the location where he worked. ensuring they would be both found very quickly and tied straight back to him. He's an impulsive retard whos attempt to cover his tracks was so fucking lazy he might as well have not even bothered.

>>214079490 (OP)
You don’t say anything. He’s an idiot. Get a lawyer. Who cares if it makes you look guilty to the cops. They think you’re guilty anyways

>>214084055
he certainly wasn't expecting shannon's life to be so frighteningly rat-like and over-socialized that she couldn't go literally an hour or two without making a fresh new digital pile of shit on social media unnoticed

nor clearly was he expecting to be living in some kind of suburban panopticon surround by cameras all oddly pointed toward his property

these 2 things are what i find most interesting about it. his life was clearly a very unique yet very store-brand kind of hell

>>214084725
you will severely regret not feigning interest when its over. I learned that lesson last time, and I'm not repeating it. you should see some of the retarded stuff I put up with but the regret hits hard if you dont. unless she's a mlm queen like shannanan then you could wattsmaxx

>Honey I need you to film this facebook video with me, it's about positive reinforcement and I think...
>Honestly, I think I'm just gunna go to bed its been a long day at wo-
>SPLAT
>A warm nuggie rolls down the back of your neck

.....