Thread 214282522

>Can literally read Dexter's mind
Wtf is this? capeshit?

>>214282522 (OP)
No, Doakes was just the only competent cop in the entire Miami Metro. Anyone with a braincell can tell that Dexter is creepy. Doakes only started going hard on Dexter after he lied about the Ice Truck Killer and repeatedly got erections at crime scenes.

>>214282522 (OP)
Doakes literally saw Dexter jacking it in the bathroom

>>214282522 (OP)
Niggers have extrasensory abilities. They are spiritually attuned to being able to tell when you're "off".

>>214282594
oh like you've never cranked one out at work

Is doakes (black) as the only good cop "woke"?

>>214282522 (OP)
Doakes is a devout Muslim and the donuts Dexter always buys everyone aren't halal. They're also laced with small doses of 4-Fluoroamphetamine, making everyone more paranoid about their work, while also socially lubricated and less able to read social cues.

>>214282574
This, he studied Dexter and really did a deep dive on him, I suppose it ended up paying off but he was still shocked

>>214282522 (OP)
Killers recognize killers

>>214282654
he wasnt a good cop. he was a pyscho that killed people and vigilante ptsd retard.

>>214282574
do they at least make it look erotic?

>>214282574
Laguerta was a shitty detective, but when she hounded down Dexter she became pretty competent.

>>214282646
I've jerked it off in every bathroom at every job I've had, including the women's.

>>214282522 (OP)
Did you not watch the show? The guy is spec ops and described as a 'trained assassin', he even tells Dexter he's seen what evil looks like and he can see it in him. The "thought reading" is just a quick way to establish of how well Doakes sees through his bullshit.

>>214282522 (OP)
yeah well Dexter is a Marvel character. Sorry if you didn't know

>>214282743
>Did you not watch the show?
no lmao

>>214282654
its actually based because the rest of the cops are mexicans and women

>>214282688
He was Jewish.

>>214282574
>No, Doakes was just the only competent cop in the entire Miami Metro.

Pretty much. He was a good profiler, Dexter fit the typical behavior of a psycho killer.

>>214282773
>Mexicans
>Entire show built around Cubans
Fuck it they're all the same aren't they

>>214282522 (OP)
Creep motherfucker OP i'm onto you

>>214282522 (OP)
no you cant catch Dexter with ESP bc to him killing is as normal and healthy as drinking water, so the psychic wouldn't feel any dark vibrations coming from him

>>214282804
not even close

>>214282816
Best meme right now

>>214282574
>>214282786
>competent
>outright be obnoxiously honest to the guy you are having suspicions on that you are out to get him instead of acting dumb to have him drop his guard
He was as retarded as all the others

>>214282522 (OP)
>when you know OP is a faggot and you dont need to prove it

>>214282522 (OP)
SURPRISE MOTHER FUCKER

>>214282522 (OP)
In this show killers are like stand users and can see other killers dark passengers. That's why doakes knew, because he was a killer too.

>>214282974
I dunno senpai Trinity was pretty shocked when dex pulled the knife on him in the kitchen

>>214282654
no because Doakes is a good character and the whites arent completely incompetent either (Dexter, FBI guy, Liddy, Quinn even)

>>214282522 (OP)
he's a killer like dexter, that's why he knows

>>214282847
you must have missed the "I want" memes from dark knight

>>214282837
which ones worse, mexicans right?

>>214283203
>Quinn
>arent completely incompetent

You think Dexter could have got Doakes off his ass if he gave a white lie about figuring out the Ice Truck Killer was his brother or mentioning about how he's weird cause he saw his mom get murdered? Really ham it up for sympathy?

>>214282712
Sounds like based cop, total criminal death!

>>214283321
He knew enough to know Dexter was a lot more than he seemed and Quinn backed off because he was the only one smart enough to realize everybody else who went digging died. Quinn really is the smartest out of them all.

>>214283321
He's just dirty, not incompetent

>>214283513
Shame he wasn't smart enough to keep his dick away from Dexter's bitch sister.

>>214283546
sex with deb

>>214282522 (OP)
Evidently it's a real interrogation tactic to say "what was that?" when someone looks deep in thought. It makes them think they may have accidentally said what they were thinking out loud.

>>214283546
Imagine her reluctantly submitting to anal, Lord help me.

>>214283546
he had a thing for women with big heads, cut him some slack

>>214282522 (OP)
the best is when he said
"ARE YOU SURPRISED MOTHER FUCKER?"
and dexter literally shat his pants in surprise

>>214283568
>>214283597
>having sex with the thundercunt that will either get you killed or run off to get another serial killer's dick stuck in her
Oh you poor bastards.

>>214282522 (OP)
>>214282574
>>214282688
>>214282695
>>214282743
>>214282974
people who only know Dexter from the TV show have no clue how far off the rails the novels went

season 1 sticks pretty close to Darkly Dreaming Dexter, but then the show decided “okay, grounded crime drama with inner monologue” while the books went “actually dexter’s ‘dark passenger’ is a literal ancient murder demon and also there are other people with them living inside their heads”

by the third book you’ve got mayan death cults, ritual child sacrifice, and eldritch beings straight out of a pulp horror serial

showtime: “hmm, maybe doakes just glares so hard it feels like he’s reading minds, yeah let’s drop that later”

novels: “dexter’s babysitting while negotiating with the cosmic entity inside him about who gets to eat which serial killer tonight”

TL;DR: TV Dexter is a serial killer procedural with witty narration. Book Dexter is suburban lovecraftian slapstick where a demon helps him pick up groceries.

>>214282522 (OP)
>stares into your eyes and says "Fuck you"
how do you respond

doakes is such a fun character that i dont even care that zoomers are suddenly latching on to him

>>214283783
"Yes, please." *wink*

>>214282574
Everyone in Miami Metro was creepy. We have that bald asian guy, we have the black cop that is wearing shirts two sizes small, Angel looks like he diddle kids

>>214282522 (OP)
he couldn't read Dexter's mind, that was Doakes playing mind games

>>214283755
Oh, I forgot to mention, in the books, Doakes is literally psychic, because he also has a "dark passenger" inside him

>>214283886
You don't? I thought everyone had

Does anyone else see the Geico Caveman when they look at Michael C Hall?

>>214283886
>>214283755
this is the first time i've seen someone make the books sound fun. are they? does the series have some interesting culmination or does it just fizz out?

>>214283755
Sounds way more entertaining and artistically interesting than the cop procedural for suburbanite edgelords that we got

>>214284023
The books are fun if you like jet-black humor and don’t mind how offbeat they get. They’re pulpier, snarkier, and way weirder than the show ever dared to be. The first one is grounded, but by Book 3 you’ve got full-on supernatural demon lore, and by Book 4 Dexter is squaring off against serial killers who turn corpses into performance art pieces while trying to raise step-kids who might have their own Dark Passengers.

>>214282522 (OP)
Because the show is shit. In the books Doakes also has personal demon like Dexter.

>>214283755
tbf even the first novel had the people with dark passengers have a psychic connection to the point that dexter actually thought he had committed the ice truck murders because he saw them in his dream through brian's eyes. the supernatural elements were there from the beginning

>>214282522 (OP)
do straight people watch this show?

>>214282774
This is the best line in the entire show and the delivery is beyond perfect

>>214283755
>lovecraftian
Really...did you have to?

weird. was just re watching and dexter said something in his mind and he read it. odd timing OP

>>214283507
When he found out he was the BHB, Doakes literally thought what Dexter did was cool until he saw him cutting up the bodies, which is gay

>>214282574
People IRL are generally nice to you even if you're obviously a weird sperg as long as you're at least making an effort to be friendly back like Dexter does. Doakes was just an asshole.

>>214282574
Viewers don't realize Dexter was a lab geek. They are all skittish and weird, hell Masuka is basically a sex offender but nobody bats an eye because that's just how the computer geeks are to an average police officer.

>>214283203
I don’t think Doakes brings up the race card even one time

>>214284618
That's how you know he's a based black character from the 2000s and not some SJW faggot shit character made in the 2010s/2020s

>>214282522 (OP)

A killer can recognize another killer.

>>214284567
Doakes hated Masuka as well, but Masuka is pretty open about who he is. He knew there was more to Dexter.

>>214283568
as Dexter

>>214282522 (OP)
never watched but saw clips on yt
Can someone spoil this surprise guy for me? I know he caught him but apparently there's a sequel?

did he eventually die to the killer guy

>>214282816
can i doakesmaxx if im not a cool black dude?

>>214282522 (OP)
L vs Doakes

>>214284023
The best part about the books is that Dexter doesn't kill Brian. Brian is based and he should have been in more seasons

>>214282522 (OP)
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/k2FnzQ8ICvE

>>214282615
lmao no
They are hardly sentient

>>214283755
Also doakes is alive, well mostly anyway, if you count being a human nugget with no mouth living.

one of the details the show kept was doakes having an absurd amount of on-duty/off-duty shootings. he's shot and killed like 80 people. the next highest in the dept is like, 8 people. the implication in the books is doakes dark passenger is making him kill perps and staging it as a police killing

>>214282771
based

Doakes was just a shy gay nigga who wanted to tap his cute white boy coworker's ass

>>214283914
My dark passenger tells me to goon to trannies

>>214284173
>who turn corpses into performance art pieces
Show had that kinda with Doomsday's tableaus

>>214285699
>>214284618
>You're one unconscious bias motherfucker, Dexter, you know that?
>You don't even walk, you just glide like a klansman on yt privilege

>>214282794
>he doesn't sensitivitymaxx
ngmi

>>214284610
if anything he was way too social for a lab geek

>>214282574
Dexter is acts and feels like literally 90% of forensics or it.

>>214283812
Funny how there's so many OG Dexter memes in zoomer spaces right now, but I never see any from current streaming slop. Do zoomers actually have taste?

>>214287678
Doakes catches Dexter but then Dexter escapes and Dexter's BPD British arthoe ex-gf blows up Doakes.

>>214282594
what episode?

>>214283597
what would her revenge look like though?!

>>214282522 (OP)
Some people irl just have mind reading powers.

>>214292614
examples? Doakes is fictional

>>214293554
I'm reading your mind right now

Video of Doakes using his mind reading powers on Light: https://youtu.be/qDiyYK48ilk?si=EQCDvLE7nS5gi5cG

>>214293713
What did I think about?

>>214288096
Yeah just start stalking a coworker and harass them at work

>>214295076
too naughty to post, I don't want to get banned

>>214295226
creepy muthafucka, get back to work

>>214283755
Is the book series complete? This sort of insane garbage seems to be right my alley. I love that shit.

>>214282739
That's just maintenence.

>>214295076
hey man, it's a blue board. can't go around talking about nasal prentration and recursive/tunneling penetration. it's not right.

>>214295491
okay unrelated but writing the post makes me wonder, is there fetus_swallowing as a tag. like, fellatio from a pregnant woman (or man, it's internet porn afterall)after all, and it detecting the unborn baby ingesting it via their little fallopian tune? wait, what about messing with the tube while the baby is still in there. like breath_play. they get their air from that tube, so could you apply breath_play to fetuses? could you jerk the fallopian tubes off?

irrelevant lust provoking image, sorry, I'll shop the lizard out next time