Thread 214293015

I didn’t kill those kids and that wife.

ok adam cole

Them kids and that wife were in the way of his sexual exploration. Those bigots stopped him from learning how much he loved ass fucking both men and women. He had no choice #pride

>>214293015 (OP)
I never would've let my neighbours into my house like that. His wife clearly ran the house. I'd have blocked them from getting in and said mind your own business and piss off

>>214293015 (OP)
>*grinning* yeah oil really miss those kids. I imagine them barreling through the door, just smothering me.
>if you're watching, wife and two children, please come home. I'm really worried *laughs*

>>214293015 (OP)
Shannon made those kids sick and then spent all their money on snake oil. she killed those kids and then buried herself in a shallow grave. Chris couldn’t even hold a shovel with 3rd degree nugget burns on his hands

/tv/! YOU have been transported to the Colorado oil fields the morning of August 13, 2018 in Chris Watts body. You've just brutally murdered your toddlers and buried your wife in a shallow grave. You did all this horrific act at your fucking work site, and in your fucking work truck that has constant GPS because you're a retard. Unbeknownst to you, the police will be at your house (where you killed Shanann) in approximately 3 hours because of her nosy fat ugly friend. How do YOU not get caught?

>>214293152
One way ticket to a third world country please, then I hitchhike to some small village and survive doing manual work

>>214293152
Find the nearest active volcano and listen to some Metallica

>>214293152
There's no way out - I doubt he had a passport and he definitely didn't have any liquid funds to live for any period of time. idiots think you can just "run to mexico" and live like on a beach teaching English.

I would walk to the nearest active volcano to see Shonan and her daughters again

>>214293152
drive to the nearest national park walk to the deepest part of the woods and stay there for as long as possible until the heat dies down. Move to South America, obviously not by plane. Dont get married again, find a therapist to fix my anger issues.Blowjobs from ladyboys are ok.

>>214293289
We could've had Watts car chase kino...

>>214293289
Mistress’s dad is a Fed he could’ve set him up with a new identity

>>214293152
if i'm as dumb as chris and i don't know anything chris doesn't know then i guess i'll just do what chris did
lame hypothetical

He would have gotten away with it if Shannan's friend didn't call the cops the same moment she couldn't contact her. If Chris returned home from work alone he would have been able to get rid of the phobe and kid's clothes and that would sell his story of them running away or being kidnapped.

if I was bella, it wouldn’t have went down like it did, there would have been a lot of blood in that mcmansion

>>214293152
With the help of my massive knowledge of the case (thanks /tv/!) I act exactly like Chris did. The only difference is that I call the fat fuck neighbour a big guy in front of a camera.

>>214293152
kill my neighbor, the friend of my wife who called attention to her missing and the cops and go back to work and stuff them all in oil drums

what you white guys won't do for some butthole sex

Did he do all that just because of his psycho wife?

I have no inclination where my alive wife and those kids are

this thread sucks
I’m going to go do some push ups and ponder the distance to the moon

I didn't have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky

>>214293406
Alright how would you do it if you knew all the future happenings of the case?

>>214293015 (OP)
He had to get it on.

>>214293152
obviously the right move was to just keep killing.
first the wife's friend and then the neighbours.
just keep killing until there's no one left to put the blame on you.

If you go to your doctor in america and tell them youre seriously considering killing your pregnant wife and two daughters, what help will you receive?

>>214293715
do not put my penis in the corrupting butthole

>>214293715
Suicide. Obviously.

>>214293152
That's the point he was already caught, despite being dead for like 5 hours his wife was already considered missing and cops were already at his house, he had to let them in and neighbour already recorded him loading body in the car and driving off.

I think he also had serious psycho vibes which would explain Nicole and neighour's actions.

>>214293152
Throw on five or six Thrive patches, strip naked and run into the desert, laying the groundwork for a “fugue state” legal defense

>>214293742
They will try to get you admitted into a psych ward or notify the cops

I explaining to my wife that his wife most definitely drove him over the deep end, but she doesn't get it.

>>214293742
If you express that you are a potential harm to yourself or others, you will be involuntarily committed to a psychiatric hold.

>>214293825
do you work in the petroleum industry

>>214293742
>that'll be 2 000 000 000 dollarinos + tip thanks

>>214293806
>>214293825
So basically. You will be considered clinically insane. She will ask for divorce. You will most likely not see her or your kids for ten years atleast… sounds like a better option

>throw bodies into volcano
>causes it to erupt
>gets launched to the moon by the lava, escaping using his car as a rocket
>gets to buttfuck the next astronaut to step on the moon

>>214293152
Try to convince the police I swapped bodies with him and that I am innocent.
Use my future knowledge as proof.

>Friend whom you saw personally alive and well 10 hours ago missed one goycology visit and is not answering her phone
>Go to her home and call the cops, SWAT team, FBI, CIA and secret anti-serial killer department

Do females really?

>>214293289
>I doubt he had a passport
Is this really normal for middle class Americans?

>>214293769
best response, only hope he had at that point was convincing them he was crazy

>>214293982
Well yeah. Why would we leave America? We have everything here and a common language and culture. You can just take a plane to another state and experience an entire different clime and topography. Also places like Europe aren't worth visiting anymore due to the jillion browns they imported.

>>214293572
If they didn’t find the phone at the house the cops would have just pulled the location data.
There’s really no way to salvage Chris’ half-baked plan or cover story. Someone as socially tied-in as Shannan isn’t going to just up and leave town with those kids with no means of contact.

>>214294042
>the world is just America and "Europe"
most cultured yank

>The case has been connected in the media to the crime of family annihiliation (familicide)
>Many of those crimes occur in August, before the school starts, which may delay detection and investigation.

Why?

>>214293152
Find a homeless guy and ask him to drive to the next town over and take out all the money in my bank account then bring it back for me

>>214294073
>Someone as socially tied-in as Shannan isn’t going to just up and leave town with those kids with no means of contact.
This, and she certainly wouldn't just disappear off the face of the earth

>>214293152
Time is precious. I live in a city where there are no red light cameras, but there are license plate scanner cameras that feed data back to a huge datacenter. They can track my movement in any car with a plate across the entire city. If the cops get to my house in 3 hours, it will take them at least another 2 maybe 3 to get a track out for my car. 6 hours is not long enough to flee from Colorado and cross a border. It's not long enough either to get a flight out of the country and renounce citizenship and claim new citizenship to a country that doesn't have extradition laws. At this point there are three options:
>realize I fucked up badly and kill myself
>accept I fucked up badly and turn myself in
>go for the high score, either ending by killing myself or being captured
Regardless there's no freedom to be had anymore. I won't be getting away with it. There just isn't enough time left to do it.

I bet hes haunted in his dreamw by them throwing tendie nuggies at him and he wakes up screaming every single day.

Have you guys seen Chris's "nightmare' board. You can find it on the darkweb. He etched it in a sheet of diamond plate with a steaknife. It is mostly Metalica lyrics, but there is an art piece in the middle depicting him and his butt mistress on the moon wearing chaps and space helmets. On the back are wrist straps, and in dried bbq sauce are the words "NO MORE". Apparetly he used it as a shield against the constant abuse he was recieving at home.

>>214293982
definitely. I've usually had one because I like to travel. Most Americans don't travel internationally, and don't need a passport otherwise, just a driver's license.

>>214293152
stuff myself in an oil barrel too so they think we were all murdered

Master of asses is chocking them kids
Folding their bodies, closing their lids
Blinded by buttholes he don't give a shiz
Just call his name, he answers to Chris

>kills wife and kids 20 years ago
>on fbi most wanted list for over a decade
>never gets caught
>free man to this day

>>214294042
>common culture
>america
Wew lad

>>214294804
His wife looked like Donald Sutherland

>>214293644
the nuggies bro..... the nuggies

>>214294042
The first thing the cops did was pull the gps unit out of chris’s truck and track it directly to the oil site. They would have done the same regardless of shannans friend alerting them or not because the husband is always suspect number 1

>>214294422
Yea those were freaking

>>214294042
>Well yeah. Why would we leave America? We have everything here and a common language and culture. You can just take a plane to another state and experience an entire different clime and topography. Also places like Europe aren't worth visiting anymore due to the jillion browns they imported.
This. I might have been interested in traveling to Europe and Australia in the past, but certainly not in the present day.

>>214293735
DARKNESS INPRISON ME

>>214294917
I went to several large cities, and small cities, in Bongistan, Ireland, Germany, and Austria in 2017, 2018, and 2019 on vacations there, and didn't see many browns at all. Maybe it's worse now.
t. ameriburger

>>214293015 (OP)
I honestly can't tell his mistress and wife apart. They look equally Midwestern plain.

>>214293015 (OP)
Why he just didn't escape to the moon with a goomah I don't get it.

>>214293015 (OP)
>killed his family for sex
is this really how it played out?

>>214294804
Where do you think he is

>>214294859
then why is he wanted? thats a mercy killing

>>214295067
Not sex. ANAL sex.

>>214293979
They do when there is known friction in the marriage

>>214295156
>he gets plenty of that in gayl.
ok

>>214294422
>the commercial with the baby in the oil barrel on the TV

>>214294422
police had to pull up to the house at night because of security camera showing a woman entering the house no one was inside

>>214295624
>time to murder my no-anal wife for my Big Stinky Butthole Anal Queen Mistress

>>214293015 (OP)
There it is, haha! My favorite teevee meme!

>>214293112
kek

captcha: VWDAD

>>214295754
At least give me a (You) faggot

>>214293152
You’re doomed at that point. You’d have to make your plan before that. What I would do is while my wife is away on vacation id go buy some roofies from some niggers and then drive out into the wilderness and dog a great big hole.

Then, after my wife returns home from her trip id drug her drink and while she was passed out I’d kill her with no resistance. Then I’d cover up her body and bring her out into my trunk and drive her out to my pre dug hole. Drop her in and bury her.

After returning home I’d make sure my truck isn’t unreasonably dirty and clean the dirt off of me. I’d then call the cops to report my wife missing saying that some time after she got back we got into an argument and she stormed out of the house. I don’t know where she went but when started to get worried so I went out in my truck to look for her and couldn’t find her anywhere and that I want to report her missing.

I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t get caught as long as the body was never found, and even then I’d still have a decent enough chance probably. Obviously I wouldn’t do any of the really stupid things Chris did like take his gpsed work truck, and if I didn’t have another car I would have bought one while my wife was away. I wouldn’t have my phone on me either. Also the neighbors video camera didn’t show anything incriminating either so I’d be fine too. As long as the neighborhood didn’t have a perfect string of ring cameras with virtually no blind spots and covered every spot she could have gone in a certain radius proving she never actually left the house id probably be fine.

214295824
'no'

>>214293015 (OP)
huhuhuhuhuhuh butts huhuhuhuhh boners huhuhuhuhuh

>>214294984
I clicked thinking it was the static image this caught me off guard

>>214295677
Man I want some ghost hunters to investigate that house

>>214293742
rumble.com/psychward

>>214294109
if you did something that bad, ripping off someone elses license plate and putting it on my truck would be nothing in the grand scheme of things. That'd give you a little bit more time as I don't think the cops would immediately put out an apb for a
>generic truck

>>214293015 (OP)
>kills own family for anal

When are we getting the next crime kino?

>>214293214
Could he have gotten on a plane at that point or would he have been stopped?

>>214293997
The insanity defence isn't the 'out' people think it is. For one thing there's already evidence of premeditation given his search history along with motive given his affair. Even if he initially succeeds and then continues to fool a bevy of psychologists that he was insane at the time of killing, instead of life in prison he gets sent to a maximum-security psych ward which from what I've heard is in no way preferential to prison.

Personally I'd do everything in my power to placate the cop by acting distressed and fearful for my family and at the first possible chance grab as much money as I could and try for the border. It's a long, long shot but it's the only one I'm going to get.

Is this the result of gymaxxin

>>214295725
Just admit you didn't get it, newfag.

>>214293982
Chris and Shanananana were rubes from North Carolina - of course they aren't going anywhere out of the country unless it was possibly to Mexico or a cruise for her MLM shit

>>214294082
Talking out of my ass but
>maybe summer had its highlights of fun
>most of it was a nightmare
>after a few brooskis you feel deranged at how the kids are going back to school and how much of a headache that is and you think of how much a disrespectful, ungrateful whore your wife is and you snap
no idea, I wouldn’t do it, I feel bad for the mice I catch in traps

>>214293155
Fuck off with your AI garbage.

>>214293015 (OP)
Did he not buckle their seatbelts like they buckled his?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-8PBx7isoM

>>214294042
>>214294917
this has to be bait. virtually all euro countries have more whites than america. some euro countries are still borderline ethnostates. basing your entire view of the continent off 4 countries (that are somehow still more white than america) is peak comedy considering some of your states views. truth is, there's good places in both, but they are vanishing. yours quicker than ours

>>214296530
I guess there are dumb yokel fucks like you everywhere.

>>214296398
an anon pointed out in another thread that a lot of child murders are just covering up an assault. in summer, there's plenty of time for bad stuff to happen unnoticed. most common perp for an assault against a child is someone they know/knew. basically, someone with a few skeletons might feel nuking the family is better than the risk of their kids going out of their reach at school etc. funnily enough, I dont think watts did any of that. he was blatantly ass druk for a grown woman. I just think its a more rational explanation in a lot of these cases. nuking the family when ur stuck inside during winter makes sense in a sick cabin fever way, but right as the kids are going back to school and ur free of them? probably hiding something

>>214294082
>>214296713
Meant to tag this anon also

>>214295109
how does the sanctuary cities work in america? What happens if you just change your face a little bit and start living as a homeless/ white immigrant in one of those? Just get new papers somehow, but with a different name, and be done with it

>>214295872
>I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t get caught
they always suspect the partner, you would be interrogated

I just miss those digits so much. I like want them back so bad. *chuckles* Dubs, if you're out there, just come back.

>>214296287
got nothing but time to workout now!

newfag here
why is this a /tv/ exclusive meme?

What’s he so happy about

>>214293015 (OP)
>>214293152
honestly, I cannot even understand how big of a fucking retard, an absolute dumb braindead fuck like him could even get a gf in first place, then marrying her, then putting two babies inside her, just how?
First of all I wouldn't even fucking once think about killing them, and no, not because I'm a pussy, but because it's the dumbest shit that I can imagine doing fuck.
get ALL the money from your bank accounts, put the fucking house in a mortgage and get all the cash, EVERYTHING, then get your anal sex doll and fly to fucking South America with ALL your cash and live like a king.
even a literal autistic fuck would realize that it is the easiest, safest and most obvious choice here if you don't want your family anymore and you have a new chick
this guy is a shoot retard and the fact that fucks like him can get a wife makes my blood boil

>>214297116
they were broke, there wasn't any money to fly off to anal sex land

>>214293911
i fucking hate this dudes face and his shitty beard.
theres something so uncanny valley about him

>elliot rodgers killing because of no sex
>christopher watts killing because of no buttsex

unironically, why are they not the official mens icons again?

>Smoking hot wife
>Doesn't want to do anal
Ok you have two options here
>Buy sleeping pills, drug her every night and destroy her asshole eveyr single night for the rest of your life while having a happy family (and having the chance of doing so with your daughters once they become 10/10 Stacies in 10 years, enjoying prime anal for your entire life
OR
>Murder them, get caught and get thrown into rapetown for 200 years
your choice, it's not even about morals anymore, this guy was mexican-levels of braindead

>>214296935
>why is this a /tv/ exclusive meme?
its actually kino, check out for all the footage from after the jon

>>214296405
Some of the best wattspost images are AI ones. Deal with it

>>214293114
Was she doing the Munching By Proxy thing?

>>214297572
No, that theory would require the autopsy reports, which both go into unpleasant graphic detail and describe the girls' bodies as being normal female, to have been faked.
Along with other stuff like the girls' birth certificates and medical records from before the Munchausen thing was allegedly done to them (it wasn't)

Can someone please QRD me on some of the conspiracies or odd events about this thing? There are always nuggets on these threads, but never any solid info.

>>214293769
No shit, could sue Thrive after too.

>>214297704
The main thing is the theory that the mistress, Nichol Kessinger, was somehow more directly involved in the murders or had foreknowledge of them and maybe pushed Chris to do it.
Based on things like how she quickly deleted a huge number of texts in between the murders and being interviewed by the police. I've also seen some anons claim her phone pinged in or around the Watts' neighborhood around the time of the murders but haven't seen this backed up or sourced.
There's nothing conclusive though, since she portrayed herself as just another victim of Chris' lies who had been manipulated by him (told that he and Shanann were separated and in the process of getting a divorce) and was just as shocked by the murders as anyone else, and she got away with it, escaped and moved to another state and changed her name

>>214293015 (OP)
Anyone scanned his brain? How do you live with people you made with your own body, spend time with them, then put them in oil tanks??

>>214296876
Shhh let him think his plan is perfect. We could get more McDaniel-like kino from it.

>>214297155
>what may be uncanny valley about him
for me, it's the fact he's a low IQ turbonormie gone defective. It may also be because he's lost a lot of weight. Or it can be because he's done something horrible, maybe it was there on his nature in the first place.

And this town had more people moving in, even after the murders? Usually a place becomes too notorious for real estate buys.

>>214296287
He only lifted like 25 pound dumbbells and did pushups in his living room. I have a home gym in my garage and I'm pretty big, he just put in the bare minimum which for normies is still impressive cause most people are fat pieces of shit.

>>214294422
What?

>>214297304
No assfuck - tough luck

Its amazing how they know his mistress was up in the middle of the night that night and her cellphone pinged off the tower his house uses (and not her normal tower) but they just dropped all further investigation into her. She 100% helped dispose of the body.

>>214297704
the case files are online, like over 1000 pages, one thing that doesn't get mentioned a lot and is that aside of his mistress, he was also dating a male prostitute

>>214293572
He would have gotten away it if he just didn't confess. There are a ton of cases just like there where the police obviously know the husband did it, but there is no evidence. No one would have found the bodies, there was no blood, and he had no struggle marks. The only piece of actual evidence was the blurry, black and white footage of the edge of a truck leaving the house, and that isn't enough to convict.

>>214294984
what was her problem

>>214294082
Heat makes people angry. All violent crime increases in summer.

>>214298161
Lmao.
I like how he got caught with another man's underwear and vaseline

>>214293114
this but completely unironically

>>214294422
>*it’s nuggie time!*
wtf ghost cece

>>214293289
I go to Mexico, start working for the cartels by smuggling heroin in my anus to Europe (since Chris is a huge butt pirate).

>>214293152
I launch myself with the help of a volcano straight to the moon.

>>214297116
You can get a crazy or shitty wife aswell anon, I believe in you!

>>214296935
Because he's a reality TV star.