Thread 214296209

>>214296209 (OP)
>laugh track

>>214296209 (OP)
>It was Kramer and Newman. They were eating, people.

>i need your soul jerry
>you need my soul?
>come oooon jeery give it to me
>aaalright already

>>214296209 (OP)
>Jerry finds out his new girlfriend is a lady of the night and he must free her form her abusive pimp
>The pimp is revealed to be Newman

ELAINE: He raped me.

JERRY: (confused) He what?

ELAINE: He (blows on her glasses twice to clean them) raped me.

JERRY: He raped you?

ELAINE: Yessiree Bob.

JERRY: He couldn't.

ELAINE: He did.

JERRY: (motions of making out) Well you were involved in some sort of amorous...

ELAINE: Noooo.

JERRY: You mean he just

ELAINE: Yes.

JERRY: Are you sure?

ELAINE: Oh quite.

JERRY: There was no mistaking it?

ELAINE: (looks straight into his eyes) Jerry.

JERRY: So you were talking, (Elaine makes an agreement sound "mmm") you're having pleasant conversation, (Elaine makes an agreement sound "mmm") then all of sudden...

ELAINE: Yea.

JERRY: Rape.

ELAINE: Rape.

>>214296209 (OP)
>They were eating people. Eating people, Jerry!
>And then they're going to eat me!
>Oh my god... They're damn cannibals. Eating people, come on!

>>214296209 (OP)
George: It was Kramer and Newman. They were, eating people.
Eating people: They were what, George?

have never watched a seinfeld episode

not for any specific reason or grudge against the show. seen prob enough random clips (like how classic simpsons clip interjections are currency for the bajillion video essayists looking to make their point) to know it looks annoying and just a bunch of annoying unrealistic .. thems

>>214296441
>I raped a few girls in college. Too messy.

jerry get ipad

for me its
https://youtu.be/2gPJpzgPReE

>>214296620
jerry get necronomicon more like

George: He's a werewolf!
Jerry: Not that there's anything wrong with that!

What kind of people?

>>214296209 (OP)
>so i joined in...
>You joined in?
>WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO
>IT LOOKED DELICIOUS
>Well Kramer can work a grill, yeah.
>AND IT WAS 2 OCLOCK AND I SKIPPED BREAKFAST
>You do get a bit impulsive when youre hungry.
>It just looked so good, Jerry...
>*Jerry's stomach growls*

>>214296209 (OP)
Kramers Werwolf transformation scared me as a kid

>>214296441
>Rape
This happened after the Van Buren Boys caught up to George

Elaine runs out of sponges and has to visit the abortion clinic

Elaine: You know Heinreich? My new boyfriend?
Jerry: Sure. I've seen him around.
Elaine: Total Cthulhu worshipper.
Jerry: Nooo! He seemed like such a nice guy.
Elaine: I know! But he's all ocean this, tentacles that. Urgh! And don't get me started on the 'fatagans'.
Jerry: The what?
Elaine: It's something he says. Fatagan or something.
Jerry: So... you broke up? You broke up with him, right? Please tell me you broke up!
Elaine: I will! But he's got a big... tentacle.
Jerry: Fatagan!

>The Soup Nazi turns out to be a real Nazi.

>IT WAS JEW-BALAYA, JERRY!

Elaine: You’re a member of the KLAN?
Putty: Yup
Elaine: I mean you’re not really into it right? It’s just something to do with the guys on the weekend- I mean you’re not THAT into it are you?
Putty: I’m one of the red ones
>seinfeld theme plays

>>214296209 (OP)
>T-t-t-tasty people!

>>214296538
Thanks for sharing idiot.

Frank walks in on Estelle and Uncle Leo having an affair, proceeds to kill them both with a kitchen knife while screaming "Serenity now!!"

Kramer: Man, Jerry, I can't stop eating The Stuff.
Jerry: Nooo! You know what that does to people!
Kramer: But, Jerry, it's delicious!
Jerry: It eats you from the inside and turns you into Stuff goo.
Kramer: So what you're saying is that I will get free Stuff just for eating Stuff? Nice.
*George burst in*
George: Oh my god, Jerry! It's a zoo out there. There's stuff everywhere and people aren't even scared!
Jerry: There's Stuff in here.
George: Where?!! Kill it with fire! FIRE!!!
Kramer: Cooked Stuff? That's a great idea! I could make a pretty buck with this.
George: Really? How much?
Jerry: Nooo! George you can't do this. This Stuff,,, stuff... is killing people!
George: So what you're saying is that they won't have any need for their money anymore?
Jerry: Fatagan!

>>214296842
>You didn't still eat it, right Newman?

>>214297211
>Newman giggles and scampers out

Unfunny zoomer thread.

Funny boomer thread.

>>214297236
honestly it’s giving millennial coded vibes

gen x forgotten again…

>>214296441

I thought he gaped her. Elaine has a big gaper.

>>214297236
the average age of this thread is 40 like this board

>>214296842

>You know, my friend Bob Sacamano leant me his David Irving books... Jerry, do you know the doors to the gas chambers were made of wood?... Come on now, wooden doors?! The Holocaust is complete baloney!

>>214296908

That's how he got rid of the Japanese tourists in his draws.

>>214296964
kek, comedy gold

>>214296209 (OP)
>Masks? Really?
>Masks, Jerry.
>Sounds kind of ..
>Cliché?
>Don't you think?
>Jerry, what do you think the movie tropes are based on.
>Oh come on George, I hardly think the Yankees' board has anything to do wi-
>...Do you know what a "hotdog" is, Jerry?
>Anyone who's been to a ball game knwos what a hotdog is George.
>Not these hotdogs...

>>214298223

Later that week...

>>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dXBC6R_rxk