Thread 214316523

Surely it can't be difficult to make a tomb raider movie?

>>214316523 (OP)
It's not, the real question is do execs want to make one?

???
it's not they made like 3 already with ease.
i don't get what your saying

>>214316562
OP just wants them to spend 300 million dollars on the movie HE wants to see and will be a complete commercial flop because he's a fucking idiot.

>>214316523 (OP)
It felt like 3/4 of a tomb raider movie. They spent a long time on her deciding to follow in her father's footsteps, then once she arrived at the island they pretty much rush underground after like three scenes. Should've been a bit more tomb raider investigation times or island survival and less Hollywood "what's the emotional core of the character" or "she isn't ready but trouble showed up at her doorstep anyway!!"

Angelina Jolie killed a robot, went to Tibet, and had a great shower scene when she barely knew what the illuminati were up to. Then she went to Bavaria, the jungle, and Antarctica. Then she redeemed 007 and killed more-handsome-Alan Rickman-guy. Then she fucking time traveled.

Alicia Vikander hung out in London, then caught a boat to the island where she was captured then not and easily solved a puzzle then interacted with a plague. And there was some chasing and a bit of rough housing in between.

I hate it when a movie is about a well known character and you just assume it's about the character doing his character things, but NO it's about the character being not THE character yet and having to become it over the course of the movie.

>>214316815
And hell, even for those who aren't familiar with an established character there is still usually no need for a drawn out character introduction sequence. A franchise like Tomb Raider especially; even if you found someone with no knowledge of the franchise, starting with Laura raiding some ancient tombs would make perfect sense to anyone who can read the damn title.

>>214316523 (OP)
To be fair, it would be hard to make a good one if they're easily offended

>>214316523 (OP)
I want a Tomb Rider movie where Lara is played by Eva Green.

>>214316523 (OP)
Don't call me surely

>>214316523 (OP)
I dunno, I think that one with Alicia-chan was okay.

She's a cute flattie. I don't care about Lara Croft having big tits.

>>214316523 (OP)
Would making her look right automatically mean a good movie?

>>214317984
It would make it watchable

>>214316815
It's because they're made by hacks. The intro to Raiders tells you everything you need to know about Indiana Jones, you don't need an hour of the movie showing him becoming Indiana Jones. Yet the hacks making adaptations like this don't get that.

>>214316523 (OP)
How would you film the scenes of her having sex with horses and other animals/monsters?

>>214317976
If the character doesn't have big tits, then it's not fucking Lara Croft.

>>214316523 (OP)
the difficulty is making a female action character that men can believe and women care about. the story of a person collecting treasure and travelling is easy. a female rich white character is harder to make people care about.

>>214316523 (OP)
I liked this one.

>b-but her boobies

I'm not an incel, so I don't care.

>>214317867
That would have been OK when she did Casino Royale. She’s too old really to play Lara even if she’s still pretty.

Wasn't the first Angelina Jolie movie good? It had shootouts and magic shit and exotic locales and Jolie's SFX enhanced boobs looked nice.

>>214319009
They could have atleast shown us her "fucking dudes around the world" trip that was talked about in the game that this movie was based off and show how much of a party slut she can be

>>214316523 (OP)
I thought this was good.

>>214318196
Raiders is so good.

>>214319009
>Small boobs
They might as well have race swapped her. Same thing.

The problem with Tomb Raider is retarded british people treat the series like a prestigious series when it's about a big breasted woman getting into retarded action scenes and because of such you attracted the worst people to it

>>214320483
>british people treat the series like a prestigious series
When did that happen?

>>214320500
British youtubers and movie critics do it all the time

>>214316815
Like the Halo TV show except it's both the character and the setting

12 plus years later and people still don't like survivor Lara

>>214320503
I don't doubt you. Sounds hilarious as fuck.

>>214316815
Surf Dracula

>>214316523 (OP)
They do this shit deliberately with malicious intent so they can call you Chuds and Incels when they hire some morbidly obese black tranny like Lizzo because it's mostly women behind most of this culture war bullshit with the intent of making everyone as miserable as they are because they're narcissistic sociopaths with the minds of children by nature who never emotionally develop beyond grade school while I'm still mad we didn't get a Tomb Raider movie circa 2002 starring Kelly Brook and Directed by Paul Verhoeven!!!FACT!!!

>>214320536
jesus fucking christ

>>214316523 (OP)
>Surely it can't be difficult to make a tomb raider movie?
It’s not. Make the main character a big-tittied femme fatale and a bad person. She robs tombs. She steals history for profit.

Easy.

>>214319009
Kys

>>214320483
There was a short span of time in the late 90s when Lara was an immensely huge British cultural icon comparable to James Bond or Big Ben.

>>214320536
Why would you want or need to relate to a character?

>>214320947
Not so much for profit. For her own private collection and similar purposes, mostly.

>>214316815
I think Batman Begins made it work and since then they are trying to replicate that.

>>214316815
They do this because they are trying to start a multi-movie franchise, and they think that starting with origin story is how to do that.

why not just make her an obese girlboss along with the equally obese villians/side characters all struggling to catch their breathes amid the wacky plot involving obesity as the entire planet implodes?

>>214321191
Fucking Brits, man.

>>214316523 (OP)
with actresses brainwashed to cut own tits?

>>214316523 (OP)
No it's not hard.
>Take Indiana Jones fan film
>Add hot female with big tits
It's genuinely, literally that easy.

You could just sign Sydney Sweeney and some B list writers and director and tell them to read some adventure books, watch some playthroughs and study Indiana Jones slop and have a hit.

>>214320212
this bitch shudv been an easy lock for vidya game movies

>>214316815
She doesn't even grow big tits in it. Total failure.

>>214320645
>ugly fat women are behind the culture war

>>214321217
idiots cants treat it like just another job and proceed with cold detachment

>>214321241
because every fucking Batman director needs to get influenced by Batman Year One and TDKR

>>214316523 (OP)
even a TV knockoff did it better

>>214321217
This is what I don't understand with modern writers, directors and audience. Because I don't need to relate to any character as long as the show or game is entertaining.

>>214321191
>>214321737
Video games were a new medium, it was exciting. You wouldn’t get it zoomer.

>>214320392
hollywood is always about subversion
cast black actors for white characters
ugly actors for pretty characters
pretty actors for ugly characters
etc

>>214316523 (OP)
They can never make it past the casting, though.

>>214324898
Which is bizarre. Sydney Sweeney is RIGHT THERE. Why do they need to make everything more complicated than it needs to be.

>>214316815
>Lara Croft
>character

they already nailed it with the angelina jolie ones

>>214316815
This is why I dislike series pilots and anything like them. No, I don't need to know what the characters lives were like before anything relevant started happening, just get on with it. At least sequels don't have this problem, you don't need to explain who John Wick is when you're at John Wick 5.

>>214320536
Why is her face so sexo and where can I see more of her?

>>214316523 (OP)
>>214322377
Even a kid's movie out-Tomb Raider's Tomb Raider.