Thread 214406672

>Horror movie

this shit was hilarious. Its literally a comedy like wtf. Americans have too much joie de vivre to make a horror movie. Its too joyful, too energetic, too funny.

>dumb satanic cunt gets her own tricks used on her and torn apart like sourdough
great palette cleanser after hereditary

dude le gun in the sky lmao

>>214406672 (OP)
Sweden is the only country with the soul for horror.

>>214406672 (OP)
this. it was funny. i am swedish

>>214406672 (OP)
so not worth it?

>>214406797
>a yacht-sized armalite floats over your house

>>214406836
>french cant into symbolism

>>214406855
name five horror comedies

>>214406672 (OP)
>Americans have too much joie de vivre to make a horror movie.
Isn't that exactly why Americans make the best horror movies though? Where's the horror if you're already begging for death?

>>214406797
if you go into it thinking its a hyper polished tongue in cheek comedy of horror movies you wont be disappointed

but it is genuinely too... fucking joyful. Theres not much scary things about the movie.


This is exactly how I imagine upper class hollywood people with happy distracted lives tries to make a horror movie

it just comes off as a hyper polished, over produced, comedy-satire instead of uuhh horror


imagine horror made by people who never experienced real life horror

thats how i would describe it

>>214406910
Name the five guys who railed your mom this afternoon.

>>214406672 (OP)
Americans made all the best horror movies tho (Exorcist, NOTLD, The Thing, The Fly, The Shining)

>>214406774
>Dude, what if vampires but actually le good and le castrated, and le gay, and living in le modern times and le
Whoever wrote this hates the horror genre

>>214406774
name 5 swedish horror kinos

>>214406910
Shaun of the Dead
Cabin in the Woods
Death Becomes Her
What We Do In The Shadows
Jennifer's Body

>>214406958
>Americans made all the best horror movies tho (Exorcist, NOTLD, The Thing, The Fly, The Shining)
this is different era of hollywood

>>214406672 (OP)
america made the greatest horror movie of all time, texas chainsaw massacre

>>214406910
House
Fearless Vampire Killers
Evil Dead
Cemetery Man
Dead Alive
>bonus
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

>>214406672 (OP)
Believe it or not you can watch horror films as comedies (Even outside of films labeled horror-comedies) and still appreciate them. For me "horror" is just a setting. What emotions I experience watching something in said setting is up to the film's discretion and my own personal cinematic sensibilities. I wish people understood this instead of pigeonholing their opinions based on what a movie's labeled genre is.
>>214406797
It's worth it. A league higher than the A24 disease that's been spreading for a decade.

>>214406958
>but actually le good
not to be all media literacy but m8

m8

>>214406774
I haven't seen the Swedish version but the American one made me nostalgic for a romance I never had.

>>214406997
>>214407023
which of these are most worth watching?

>>214407023
>DOG WILL HUNT

>>214407067
cemetery man is the best one listed

>>214407067
all of them

>>214407099
what's it about?

>>214406774
That's a weird way to spell Japan

>>214406797
It's incredibly overhyped. Both the horror and comedic aspects of this movie are overblown. It doesn't really know what it wants to be. You can tell the writers wanted it to be about SOMETHING but couldn't figure out how to stick the landing so they copped out by turning it into a slapstick romp in the last third. It's decent but don't go in expecting anything more than that.

>>214407155
figure it out

>>214407155
Look it up dumbass

>>214407241
I felt this way when they showed the parasite scene on TV and failed to connect it into the story whatsoever.

>>214406985
state television morning news
state television evening news
state television produced tv-show
state television hosted political debate
commuting to and from work in december

t. swede

Arguably the single worst shot in recent memory

>>214407255
>>214407265
i could do that but i want YOUR opinion. why the fuck do you think we all post here?

>>214406672 (OP)
>this shit was hilarious. Its literally a comedy like wtf. Americans have too much joie de vivre to make a horror movie. Its too joyful, too energetic, too funny.

>>214406672 (OP)
I was more annoyed that the rules for the magic was too loose. Anyone can just use that magic tree to cast spells?
>Get your corrupted Bonzai tree today! And you too can turn people into thralls in 3 easy steps!
Also the fallout from the event would be as interesting (if not more) than the event itself.
Do government agents confiscate the plant? Does the government have a secret vault filled with magical items collected from similar events over the years?

>>214407323
its kind of a hard movie to explain

>>214406774
This is the only good swedish movie ever made, but i dont think its horror because its just not scary at all.

>>214407323
Asking for the premise of a movie isn't seeking an opinion. You're legitimately retarded. Probably esl too.

>>214406958
>The Fly
this movie is absolute dogshit

>>214407352
do your best, i trust anons more than the sterile wikipedia page

>>214407323
keyed
>>214407265
>>214407255
locked

>>214407346
Also the black vomit was retarded and is literally "its magic; I dont need to explain shit"

>>214407346
It's an SCP.

>>214407366
>Asking for the premise of a movie isn't seeking an opinion. You're legitimately retarded. Probably esl too.

>>214407346
That's just the plot of Control.

This normie ZOGchow slop makes a cool 300 milly, handily. Meanwhile, Eddington, pure unadultered kino that tries to really wrestle with the modern world in a unique and thoughtful way doesn't even make half it's budget. The people yearn for zero subtext gore and aura moments.

>>214407371
man works at cemetery where the dead come back to life. lives in a surreal sort of small town. has weird cyclical relationships with different women who are all the same girl. its a very abstract, allegorical movie

>>214407307
They should've had Adam Lanza hanging from the ceiling in the jumpscare scene.

>>214407523
ok i'll look it up.

>>214407307
its a stattrak gun?

>>214407323
Its about a cop that gets aids.

>>214407824
Even if the cops did do that, they'd just find the house with the comatose parents and weird aunt, conclude that everything is as it should be, and leave.

>>214407426
I liked both movies

>>214407895
I agree. Amazing script, very clever.

>>214406858
>joie de vivre
>massive gun clock floats over your home
>WEAPONS
>dude muh symbolism
yeah bro so deep

>>214407946
>he didn't notice the numbers on the side of the gun

Just finished it. Did I miss an explanation? I assume the children were going prolong her life somehow?

>>214406672 (OP)
I watched it very loud in my home theater, far away from the pause button (yes, I am convinced that knowing you can quickly press space-bar at any time makes horror less suspenseful) and I found the horror elements to be quite good. also loud = scary really got me at one point when the main chick was looking at the ceiling. i didn't just get jump scared i actually felt a weird sensation in my back. was quite good. maybe I just don't watch horror loud enough typically.
anyway of course it becomes a genre film as it goes on, which is always the problem with horror, and as it unwinds it becomes less spooky instead of more.

still, I'd give it a 7/10 which is as high a score as horror can get. at the end of the day it's a movie mostly meant to entertain, you're not gonna be thinking about anything interesting after leaving, except maybe "yea that was kinda fun"

>>214408037
Yes

>>214406774
this isn't horror. it's just a drama that exploits tropes of the vampire genre movie. that's also why it sticks out.

>>214408037
she grew in strength but it bottomed out after a certain point with the parents, their life force got her off her deathbed and walking again but she got greedy and wanted to try numerous kids to actually become younger and beautiful

>>214408037
bro how did you not catch the fact that she was zapping their vitality

>>214407288
The connection was the people watching stick their dicks in poop holes.

>>214408250
I only liked the climax. But I really liked the climax.
>that music
>that god of death

>>214406936
This was the only correct answer.

this was like longlegs if longlegs had been decent instead of shit

>>214406672 (OP)
I unironically thought this was about weapons in the US and kids getting shot, what else an american movie called "weapons" with kids on the poster could be about?

>>214408502
No, it's about magic chud.

>>214408502
well, uh, a witch evidently
I guess it pretty early on when julia garner had "WITCH" painted on her car, bad writers have used witch as a non-offensive stand in for bitch for years but I figured cregger would never do that instead of simply having him write "BITCH" unless there was an actual witch somewhere in the movie

>>214406672 (OP)
I brought my squeamish relative to watch this and she couldn't stop gushing about how funny it was, especially the spring jack attack junkie. There was more stuff but you get the idea. This is normie entry level horror of the best kind.

>>214406672 (OP)
I hoped that this shit would be more interesting than
>a witch did it
>REEEEEEEEE
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
But no, that was actually all there is to this shit, lmao

>>214408468
I dont know about better, But it definitely feels like they belong to the same universe (I know they arent connected)

>>214408567
The scene with the grandma running into the houses and yards with the army of little kids chasing her was pretty funny.

Better than Barbarian.
The 2 hour run time would've been better spent expanding on the lore and occult. Instead it repeats scenes from different perspectives.

>>214406672 (OP)
>this shit was hilarious. Its literally a comedy like wtf

You're an adult now. That's what horror movies are supposed to be after you turn 18.

>>214406672 (OP)
It is a mystery with frightening music until
the witch uses her wand
The the movie deflates to literally children's TV horror like Goosebumps only less frightening.

The final 10 minutes are literally Shawn of the dead comedy level and can play Benny hill music.

What this movie proved is the less you understand something the more frightening it is.
Before
the witch uses her wand

You are like
>WTF!
>WTF is going on!?
>I am frightened to even be in that house!

After you know the magic system it is a normal movie or Goosebumps only less frightening. Reminded me of the blob/slime episodes of Goosebumps.

>>214408755
The Grudge still scares the shit out of me, especially when I'm in the shower.

What the actual fuck was his deal?

>>214408605
You're not supposed to see granny murder by kids that early in the morning.

>>214408787
Alcoholic. It's stated pretty explicitly in the movie.

>>214408787
I'm going to start keeping aids needles in my pocket for whenever the police pull me over.

>>214408873
Sounds like an absolutely foolproof plan.

witch horror is fun when it's not Harry Potter tier fireball throwing shit

>>214408763
Yeah. I hoped it would be more elaborate after that. Like, more interesting mechanics and whatnot. Something that adds to the horror. But no. Once that shit is introduced it's basically over. You've seen everything. It doesn't get more interesting. lmao. Fucking why.

>>214408998
True. Blair Witch is my favorite.

I was kind of hoping that they would do a grimdark Stranger Things kino.

>>214408873
>adding assault on P.O to your charges

>>214406910
Dracula, Frankenstein, The Bride of Frankenstein, The Mummy, The Wolfman

>>214409221
>six months
>lifetime of aids
Chuds won

>>214407426
Smile accomplished this.

That's why it's the best franchise of this decade.

>>214406739
>after hereditary
that was 7 years ago

>>214409319
I only watched it the other night

if witchcraft is this powerful then how isn't society already fucked by the point the movie takes place with everyone being mind zombies and shit.

>>214409351
Cool, wish I could watch it for the first time again

>>214406672 (OP)
I have my problems with the film
I mostly view it as an allegory for a very American problem..and that makes a lot of the otherwise tropey moments feel more harrowing. Even the ending which you mention is joyful is undercut by some of the narration and some of the final images of the movie but I will concede that the film would be a lot better if it wre a bit more restrained. It verges on Blumhouse-style nonsense.
At the core it still seems more interesting and fresh than those albeit with some massive flaws.

>>214409359
Yeah it immediately took me out of the movie how easy it was for her to control people (the gay couple).
Like why is she even dying if its that easy to get people.

Agree 200%
The whole suburban happy life was like Friends soap opera
It was indeed hilarious - like a whole fucking town populated by dickless morons

>>214407346
Again I'm defending the movie probably more than it deserves but it's plausible that because that individual was involved in the initial riitual...so there's that but the movie doesn't make it clear

>>214407346
>Do government agents confiscate the plant? Does the government have a secret vault filled with magical items collected from similar events over the years?
I want a creggers SCP universe, there's no reason barbarian can't be in the same world as weapons

>>214409445
>allegory for a very American problem.
what's that in your opinion?

>>214409645
Wasnt Barbarian just incest? Or did I miss the occult/SCP explanation

>>214406985
im literally the only one who has ever seen this and its great

>>214409717
>>214406774
im a swede and i have never heard of these films

>BUT WHY DIDNT THE COPS-
Do you think real life is like NCIS? Most cases go unsolved.

>>214409732
https://youtu.be/mRbe6iD9z6k
lycka till att hitta filmen nånstans överhuvudtaget.

>>214409717
Filmen SKRÄMS :DD

>>214409796
är det lågbudget, en kamera och så? hur bra är den?

>>214409759
Why didn't the feds get involved though,
16 kids disappearing at once in similar conditions is crazy

>>214409668
School Shootings

>>214409683
it's pretty clear she was superhuman/supernatural in ability and not just inbred with tard strength, she gets hit by a car and falls off the water tower and shit
it's jason tier, plausible but realistically impossible

>>214409871
you failed with the spoiler

>>214409871
Lmao woops , fucked it up

>>214409359
Magic wasn't that powerful here and aging/death waits for no one or you're in a Final Destination movie. Even the last FD movie wondered about extending your lifetime with babies

>>214409759
Its more the scale of event that highlights their lackluster investigation.
As soon as Josh Brolin started comparing surveillance footage and drawing lines leading to the house of the ONLY KID WHO DIDNT RUN AWAY I was like "surely the investigators already did this"

>>214409890
Yes I see that lol

>>214409879
cool. is the supernatural alluded to at all (Im wondering what I missed)?
or is that what you believe because of how durable the monster is?

>>214409848
låg budget, men fortfarande full av själ. det var nog 10 år sen jag såg den sist, men den var riktigt obehaglig.

>>214409359
>if witchcraft is this powerful
it killed two gay men and one alcoholic cop before getting foiled by a ten year old using the uno reverse card, let's not get ahead of ourselves here

>>214408603
accurate
it was going for the I.T. thing with the small town cozy storytelling but the thing wasnt scary

>>214409947
ok. ska försöka hitta den

>>214409956
oh yeah and I think the junkie got shot too but really the last twenty minutes of the movie makes it clear how pointless her """power""" would be if she actually had to deal with the cops or even one guy with a gun head on

>>214408889
technically you'd only prick yourself with a sharp harmless needle.
the panic of that in that situation is you rage and freak out because you automatically assume you have this disease and you want to cut your hand off. pretty good psych warfare against these fuckers

>>214409870
>>214409913
Think about it.
Its a world where magic exists.
This means this has happened before
Which means government know about occult stuff but keep it hidden from regular society.

>>214410014
>Its a world where magic exists
our world?

>>214410014
more like the technomagocracy cabal keeps it hidden from the public eye

>>214410014
>WB release

Ask James Gunn for a Constantine pitch.

Why are witches obssessed with little boys

>>214410042
This but unironically. To exist in this gay realm is to automatically be a hylic

>>214410074
Wong didn't shield his mind...

Were all the references to parasites purely metaphorical? Or did the Bonzai tree magic involve actual parasites?

>>214410074
It all went downhill from here

>>214410159
I guess they just added it in because the witch is stealing life force through magic. The bell contains occult symbols, so I don't think there's any deeper scientific explanation.

>>214410159
well the witch is the parasite. needing the life force of the kids to sustain herself.

>>214410082
They have the most lifeforce to feed on, especially if you show them cleavage and bare feet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YncouOfQG2o

>>214406739
What? This was like a more adult goosebumps episode.
Hereditary was at least creepy and had satanic lore to fall back on.
This witch used sticks and water bowls and needed a basement full of kids to look 65

>>214409796
so its basically swedish blair witch?

>>214407307
So that's why they call it that

>>214408202
Well for one, they never actually show her getting younger

>>214410718
its not found footage but its kinda filmed that way. it obviously inspired the film

>>214410234
Yeah I think this is about as deep as it goes

>Hocus Pocus but gory
I will watch your witch horror now

>>214409732
Har du sett den här med Ica-Stig?

>>214407307
Man the pre-release "leaks" about the gun being the witch's mobile base were more interesting than this shit

>>214410767
She went from being bed prostrate and a family burden to running the entire household.

>A very American problem
The older generation sacrificing the younger to unnaturally prolong themselves is a tale as old as time itself and hardly unique to the US.

>>214410893
Yeah...that was very clearly shown in the movie.
>>214410159
I think the tree was a parasite to her just as she was a parasite to the family

>>214406672 (OP)
A little too try hard, I mean the tagline is like 12 stanzas

It should've been something like: "They went to school....and never came back."

Or

"Last night, you put them to bed.....and never saw them again."

>>214406855
It wasn't supposed to be one, though.
>>214406910
> Young Frankenstein
> Dracula: Dead and Lovin' It
> Once Bitten
> Fright Night
> Little Vampire

it's about boomers and how they fucked up and sucked the life out of the latter generations, it's really not that difficult

>>214406927
They just don't have the life experience to make a horror movie anymore because they're sheltered nepo babies with arrested development so they're just copying other horror movies and adding in their middle school ideas. It's the same problem Longlegs had.

>>214410967
Yeah this has been the millennial/zoomer cope for the last 20 years now which is why I think people are fixating on the US criticism even though old politicians sending kids off to die has been a societal gripe since the days of Rome.

>>214407307
This shot ends up not having anything to do with the rest of the movie, too. It's just a big lipped alligator moment.

>>214406672 (OP)
What if the monster turned out to be a child grooming gang sanctioned and protected by the town's political elite?

>>214411008
>millennial/zoomer cope
Yeah, the boomers had terribly hard lives getting married young, having lots of children, and have money until they die to live comfortably.

>>214407346
They don't know. He was just combining Us, Get Out, and Hereditary together

>>214410779
you can stretch it. the "parasite" has infected the community, making them all blame and hate julia garners character and making the police apathetic and unwilling to pursue the case zealously. a malaise that's kinda realistic, that people really don't care and just want to get on with their own shit since they really can't stand the strain that is caring about one's community, just taking care of yourself is hard enough

>>214407895
Why would they do that?

>>214410896
I think it is commenting on a lot more than just the problem of geriatrics being a drain
Although part of me suspects that I'm reading so much into it because it was left intentionally vague and subtext may not be subtext
But I think it seems to be commenting on a lot of common criticism of modern society:
Addiction in many forms
Overconsumption (sometimes figurative and literal)
It's not coincidence that the couple has like 7 hot dogs on their plate
Parents parenting on autopilot
And how those things could play into local tragedies

I do think that it pretty explicitly seems to be about school shootings though

Apparently he got the idea of the way the kids run from a photo of a girl after a napalm strike

I think he was really reaching into his subconscious cause as that other anon had mentioned, he was literally following David lynchs advice about meditation and creativity.

I'm sure a lot of that stuff came out whether intentional or not.
I know when I have a burst of creativity, I often don't understand what was motivating it until I analyze and refine it afterward but soon it becomes obvious that there was something I was sort of channeling, if you will

>>214407346
This. Dont add magical shit if you cant explain it. It was really the last part which fucked all the rules up.

>>214410810
nej, vad handlar den om?

>>214408250
The original was better and also mid aside from the colors and setting

>>214410940
>Yeah...that was very clearly shown in the movie

What did you want, she was as bad looking as old Demi Moore in The Substance minus the hump and about as helpless, if she became a supermodel running the town even these dumbwitted folk would have noticed something was up, and everyone prefers shady old ladies.

>>214406910
American Werewolf in London
Evil Dead
Tucker and Dale vs Evil
Cabin in the Woods
Krampus

>>214406672 (OP)
> The most accurate jew in cinema is also the worst character in the history of cinema
Pottery

>>214411159
> We can't let you talk to the child because you'll just traumatize him more
> But it would make ME feel better

> Tries to kidnap child
> When that doesn't work she files a fake CPS report to try get her way

>>214407346
i floated the idea around how shes basically nothing more than someone that found an exploit at reality. and those are indeed cool directions to take with it. that event potentially unwraps a whole underground ritual/network and we get no backstory about potential others like her, why shes alone, etc.

>>214411194
but she was right to be worried thoughalbeit

>>214407065
It's the same story but the swedish one was more disturbing

>>214410074
the film makes no sense when you think about it, the witches plan relies on her getting extremely lucky. what if a parent is awake and sees the kid running out of the front door? what if someone spots the kids? what if any other camera sees them and places them in the area?

like ok maybe she got lucky, but it doesnt make sense for her to take such big risks when its implied shes hundreds of years old.

>>214411224
by luck it worked out

>>214411063
I was thinking that the witch could be a representation of "witch hunt" mentality.
Kinda on the nose...but I wouldn't accuse Cregger of being a master of subtlety

>>214411159
glasses kino

>>214411141
I wasn't being sarcastic

>>214411063
Kinda reminds me of IT with how the creature had enforced a sort of low grade hypnosis on the town to make all the adults apathetic and low empathy towards the disappearances.
Only now that kind of attitude is just the accepted norm.

>>214407346
Didn't they say right at the beginning they covered up what happened out of shame? Narrated by a girl I don't even remember was shown or not.

>>214411159
but she didn't do anything wrong though? maybe seducing and making a married man relapse into drinking but that's just like many women

The witch should have become a hot seductive bitch at the end, or at least gone into hot milf witch mode instead of permahag tier

>>214407346
Modern writers can't into worldbuilding. They just come up with a half-baked idea and write backwards from there.

>>214411086
Svårt att förklara, det var mysko. Men kanonbra rulle, rekommenderar.

>>214411263
Yeah I kept wondering about Alex neighbors not noticing shit. And when police came to investigated the kids just Naruto-ran into the forest lol

>>214411302
I mean that scene of the waving in the woods was straight out of the TV adaptation of IT

>>214411302
haven't seen that film actually but yeah, we've been so inundated with the welfare state for so long that we shuffle our problems unto the faceless colossus that is the state. a "someone else will take care of it" mentality, "i pay my taxes so some agency will take care of this" etc...

I'm tired of millennial horrorslop

>>214411340
intressant. vill se på mer svensk film men det är svårt att veta var man ska börja

>>214406672 (OP)
>>214406672 (OP)

why were they getting psychic dreams of the witch bitch?

why does no one have a gun? would have solved things pretty easily.

why did the 10/10 jewess think that the kids parents were "weird" and not literally dead and immediately either break in and/or call 911?

>>214411341
Yeah I mean...every other house on the block had ring cameras most likely..if this wasn't set in an upper middle class suburb, that could have worked in its favor cause it's believable the poor wouldn't have ring cameras but every motherfucker in the suburbs has a ring camera nowadays

>>214411419
>jewess
WTF please tell me you just made that up

>>214411263
>but it doesnt make sense for her to take such big risks when its implied shes hundreds of years old.
i just realized we keep talking about this movie too much theyre going to milk it now and just use the kid to expand on all the cool stuff we write about on /tv/

>>214411419
The movie falls apart when you start to question it, the ride is fun though

>>214411458
anon, i...

>>214411469
>more shotakino
can't say I object

>>214411458
>Checks early life
She's Israeli-level Jewish lol

>>214411532
>Israeli-level Jewish
What does that mean?

>>214411579
Even more Jewish than Brooklyn Jewish, which is very very Jewish

>>214411620
don't know what that means, either. but i feel that both parents gotta be jewish for that to be the case

>>214411419
>>214411458
>>214411579
>Following the October 7 attacks in 2023, Garner signed an open letter published by Creative Community for Peace praising President Joe Biden for "unshakable moral conviction, leadership, and support for the Jewish people", as well as calling for the release of all hostages kidnapped during the attacks.[36]

i wish her cutie jewess charms didnt work so well on a poor goy like me

>>214411579
shes actually ethnically from the middle east you can tell from the semitic nose.
heres my white girlfriend for comparison

>>214411662
>i wish her cutie jewess charms didnt work so well on a poor goy like me
me too, bro. i dream nightmares of falling in love with a jewess. and the dilemma that follows which is if i'm gonna have kids with her or not

>>214411693
that's just dumb. many 100 % europeans have big noses and aquiline/roman noses

>>214407305
very underrated post

t. german with similar horror experience

>>214410966
Of course it was. It was written and directed by a comedian. The comedy was very intentional.

>>214406672 (OP)
>>214406739

so do the kids get better or what? i was hoping for a full good beats evil ending. i wanted to see the parents snap out of it and hug the kid

Witches should only be portrayed as monstrous hags or hot temptresses

Now that the dust has settled, was Weapons worth /ourguy/ Trevor getting ritualistically sacrificed by Zach Cregger for a second chance in Hollywood?

>>214411693
>Nose ring
Enjoy your black children, anon

imagine being mogged by witches from a children movie, even they managed to kill a child, suck the life force out of her and become younger

>>214412201
evil isnt meant to be powerful and cool. its meant to be a bottom feeding parasite causing harm and making life worse for everyone until you can catch it in the life and heel stomp it

>>214412070
>tranny reading hour changing room

>>214411759
aquiline noses and semitic noses are distinct

that said there are certainly genestealers that will exhibit traits from any european phenotype

>>214409970
hittade den på superbits

>>214409898
>Even the last FD movie wondered about extending your lifetime with babies
the what now

>>214411993
Narrator says over time some of them begin speaking again - implying most remain in a catatonic.

>>214412513
It could imply that all of them will break out of the trance eventually depending on the amount of time they spent in it.

>>214412513
>>214412551
yeah thats what im unsure about because its only been like a year so the implication could be they are slowly recovering from it

>>214412551
true

>>214412513
sadly this is because the test audience didn't like the original ending where the kids all end up like the parents

>>214406774
Tranny propaganda.

>>214412692
kek really? i hate the idea of test-audiences. just let the director make the movie he wants to make.

>>214412692
well no matter what that murder zack says, the curse doesnt seem to have any sort of physical side effect, in fact it seems to literally protect them physically and the kids were plenty strong enough to run down and tear apart that hag

plus its a sad ending which are for dramas, not horror

>>214410074
Me on my way to raid area 51

>>214412692
Did he mention that in an interview?

>>214412274
light*

>>214412873
>>214412692
>>214412513
an ending where the parents and kids are permanently fucked puts intense scrutiny on the plot and the retarded fucking cops and how easy the case was to solve and how dumb and unprepared everyone was and silly stuff like how running past the houses would have meant they could have tracked the kids through random ring cameras every step of the way all the way to the house front door because if they had saved them in time they would have snapped out of it like thanos with no problems

having everyone recover allows you to ignore the accidentally on purpose dumb investigation because it all worked out in the end anyway

one of these is the correct way to do things and one is the incorrect

>>214412823
>>214412873
>>214412953
https://www.inverse.com/weapons-ending-explained-zach-cregger-josh-brolin
yes

>>214413078
that just says it was more ambiguous not that it was an ending where they are all potatoes forever

>>214406672 (OP)
The guy was a cofounder of whitest kids u know. This isn’t surprising

>>214406672 (OP)
Yeah, a couple cheap jump scares were the only thing that resembled a horror movie.

>nobody noticed that both of Alex's parents quit their jobs without warning two weeks before the children disappeared
>nobody noticed the sole survivor buying 12 cans of soup every day
>the townfolk are obsessed enough to witchhunt the teacher but not notice newspaper all over alex's house
>the detectives didn't question why a strange, distant family member moved into the house literally right before all of this
>not a single security camera caught a dozen kids running side-by-side up a well-lit street

It's obvious Cregger writes whatever he wants if he finds the premise compelling. It bothered me more here than in Barbarian because the scope was smaller and it was easier to suspend disbelief that nobody would care about what happens in an abandonded crack ghetto.

>>214413072
also the fact that any dog could have tracked them to the house the very fucking night that it happened and thanos even asks whats up with the dogs

every citizen would have been checking their security cameras after hearing the news as well

any and all acquaintances would be asking questions about where the parents are, friends, co-workers, bosses when they stopped showing up to work

oh he had a stroke...with no medical record of it...

the movie has to have the kids and parents recover to stop being fucking retarded with a trash plot

thanos' "drawing a straight line" moment is the same level of retardation as pic related

It was okay up until the end. Why would she not just send all the kids and every thrall on the jewess and the father? Felt like she just sort of gave up. Also, why would she show off her magic if literally anyone can just snap a branch and do the same shit to her? Doesn't make any sense at all.

The whole gun above the house also made no sense. Did some suit just add that whole scene to make sure retards understands that she uses her thralls as weapons?

I liked the magic and witch concept, but they never really explained who Gladys was, why she's evil or why she needs to leave etc. She's just evil because she wants to gain life force back, that's it?

5/10, could've been an easy 8/10 if not for the retarded last act of the movie.

>>214406672 (OP)
We're just not allergic to happiness and mixed emotions are easy for us to feel. We're less likely to think a mood is spoiled by introduction of dissonant elements in a work of fiction.
Actually, by our standards, current Hollywood is allergic to happiness and addicted to deconstructing everything.
You roll your eyes because the caped hero saved the day once again by being strong, which Europeans often like to claim is a uniquely American fantasy, but we roll our eyes because the plot was once again police bad person richer than viewer bad wearing the skin of a superhero movie.
We like festivities and consider despair to be a general waste of time. (Except our gay, artistic, "intellectual", activist, addict, trailer trash, gangster, etc etc elements)

>>214413333
Barbarian was far more stupid like the father of the inbred mutant woman looking barely old to have fathered a daughter + grandaughter of that age, the innate resilience of the inbred mutant etc.
Weapons at least has magic and mind control is a part of it so it's easy to assume the witch was causing the town to be so malaise about the disappearances

>>214413340
Which is either bad writing or it implies government knows and are trying to suppress it

>>214406917
>>214413401
Then, would Europeans consider a despair or misery porn movie the same as a horror movie by this logic? Or just slavs?

>>214406672 (OP)
things that scare zoomers: office spaces and naruto run

>>214406910
Slither
The Menu
Army of Darkness
Eight Legged Freaks
Tucker and Dale vs Evil

>>214409717
this is annoying me now because I'm intrigued by the pitch but there's no way there's a copy online that's subbed in english

>>214410966
watch his previous movie anon, it is very intentional

>>214413411
Barbarian was stupid because it opened with a retarded 30 minute feminist dialogue

>>214411306
this is the only detail that annoyed me, you never see the girl telling the story or who she is telling it to. She's too solemn and rehearsed to make it a story she is telling to friends and why would she be telling it to a random adult? I get that they just wanted the spooky girl voice for the atmosphere but it annoyed me.

>>214407426
I paid for neither of those movies and expect new and better stuff soon. Gj jews or whatever.

>>214409870
Doesn't the police chief mention the FBI when he's talking to Archer?

>>214411068
That's literally what happens when the feds investigate the house.

>>214410625
Lol at ‘adult Goosebumps episode’ pretty good
>>214411063
Why were the cops so useless though? How did none of this shit end up on the news? And they only looked at the boys house once lol.

>>214411263
>the witches plan relies on her getting extremely lucky
She's going for broke because she's going to die

>>214406985
Låt den rätte komma in
Vargtimmen
Mannen på taket
Evil Ed
Det okända

>>214414242
She should just have done it years ago in a more careful way.
Why wait until she's full hag status

>>214409732
är du 12?

>>214412337
>genestealers
kek I want to know more please

>>214409046
crazy browridge

Just finished it. It was really wtf the entire time, funny and creepy but not scary. The voices were quieter than the sound effects which like Tenet waa really fucking annoying.

Anyway now I know what this movie was about, my grandma, who also sucks the life out of everyone to live longer.

>>214411224
She didn't know anything was going on at that point, she just wanted to talk to Alex to "work through her trauma." Despite being told his parents didn't want her to see him and that it would emotionally scar him.
>>214411320
Everything she did was wrong.
> Transferred into town for "inappropriate behavior" with past students.
> Be the only common denominator among all the missing children. Refuse to cooperate.
> When asked by the parents if she could share her lesson plan in case it gave a clue as to why the children would do this, refuse for no reason and state you're a bigger victim than the parents who lost their children because unlike them you actually "loved them."
> Demand to speak to the only remaining child (has no relation to the child, nor qualifications to speak to a traumatized child, nor any job-related reason to speak to the child.) when she's told that this is against the parents wishes and that it would traumatize him further she says: "But it would make ME feel better."
> Stalks the child and chases him home while he's screaming and crying saying: "Leave me alone!"
> Tries to break down his door screaming at the child that she's coming in there to get him and he can't hide from her.
> When this doesn't work she files a false report with CPS to try to get him removed from his parents custody, solely out of spite. (There would be no scenario where CPS allowed her to talk to him, though I'm sure in her head she was hoping she could get custody of him.)
> Try to get married ex-boyfriend to cheat on his fiance.
> While talking to him literally force alcohol into his mouth even though he's a recovering addict.
> Ultimately don't do anything to help the children since Alex saves the day all by himself so she just ate up an hour and a half of screen time being annoying.

>>214414337
it's how he got a big titty fertile wife obssessed with him
Women unironically get wet over the neanderthal alpha male look

>>214409365
nta, but it was a good one

>>214411448
They didn't know how to make a realistic looking small town. The biggest tell from someone who's never lived in a small town is they think everyone would actually band together in the local church to yell at the mayor and that they all know each other by name.

A more realistic depiction is Stephen King's Salem's Lot where instead you see a drawn out game of telephone with everyone ringing up their 1-3 friends and gossiping and news of the vampires spreading that way.

>>214412070
Agree. The most accurate portrayals.

>>214414408
>Try to get married ex-boyfriend to cheat on his fiance.
She didn’t try. She did. They fucked.

>>214412140
No lol

>>214414504
>accurate

>>214413333
What gets me is they act like you've gotta be the best of the best to write in Hollywood, when it's obvious that you can be as crappy as you want as long as you're connected and everything else is just an excuse to gatekeep normies out so they outshine the nepo babies.

>movie about sacrificing someone for power

want to let something off your chest zacky boy?

>>214411686
kept imagining what it would feel like to run my goy fingers through her jewess curls

>>214406739
>it's another "actually moms are the scariest thing ever" episode
bravo ari

>>214407307
it's just weird dream shit idk why everyone's bothered about it

>>214409046
>all the possible aids/hep needles plotline was just a red herring

>>214407241
>DUDE THE MOVIE JUST NEEDS TO HAVE SOME LUKEWARM MESSAGE
It was actually kind of refreshing that it was all just nonsense, 7/10

>>214415524
they hated him because he told the truth

>big titty bitch LITERALLY ovulating for him
>goes for the jewess who wants him drunk and will quickly discard him afterwards anyways

>>214411071
I think you're right about the commentary. Addiction in particular sticks out to me. In addition to the obvious things (like Justine, Paul, and James being addicts), Alex lives like the child of an addict after Gladys shows up.
>parents are mentally absent, meaning he has to fend for himself
>parents are physically present, so he has to help keep them alive
>school is a mind-numbing break from his bleak home life
>adults like Justine try to offer him outs that he can't accept out of fear of making things worse
The movie inspires a lot of sympathy for Alex but at the same time, if it is a school shooting metaphor, then Alex is the shooter. I think that's interesting.

With all the stuff about parasites (including Gladys being a parasite), I think the movie begs you to draw parallels between addiction and parasites. "Addiction is a parasite" sounds like the type of inane thing that you might hear in AA.

Also, unrelatedly: with many people ITT saying "why didn't anyone notice X," or "why didn't the police do Y," I have to say it seems intentional. The people in this town don't give a shit about each other, and they view other people as inconvenient. In Justine's conversations with Marcus, and Archer's talk with the police chief, we see authority figures who say "I will listen to your stupid complaints, but I absolutely will not act on them." Everyone wants to mind their own business, which is what lets Gladys do her thing.

>Americans abandon and leave their family to die and call them parasites
>Refuse to help them
>Must work work work always contribute always get money work work work
Parasites? All I see are demons refusing to help their aunt she acted in self defense.

>>214406774
This is a homoerotic movie

>>214412422
They saw a baby in a hospital and wondered about killing it to extend their lifetime for however long the baby was going to live, then they said fuck it, who wants to do that.

>>214416387
A lot of people when confronted with death and old age, actually.
If anything their reaction wasn't really realistic at all

>>214409359
A growing number of Christians, mainly the Israel hating nationalist types, think society is so ugly because of witchcraft, and routinely make up bullshit about doing spiritual battles against witches. I'm talking about millenials and zoomers too, not 89 year old boomers.

>>214412201
>This is what the GOP actually thinks women were like before Christianity
The US is a meme

>>214407346
Tbqh it would’ve made more sense if the magic was more explicitly bloodline-based instead of literally just grabbed from the tree, it would also explain why the witch wanted to take the kid with her instead of just turning him into another sacrifice when she was preparing to escape.

Kek, imagine if some sleezy billionaire just bought the damn tree after all the fuss and used it to do degenerate Saudi things/make all his rivals sign terrible deals. All the protagonists neglecting to burn the damn tree deserves to be punished.

>>214409359
Witchcraft is so fucking shit that this bitch looks like a walking corpse for most-no, all of the movie, and even her regeneration basically just lets her move faster than a normal old woman. If more than one person jumped her at once with zero hesitation they could just beat her lights out while she’s trying to voodoo a specific guy. Also as seen in the movie, spells can backfire on you.

Really I think witchcraft died out here because it’s so fucking shit that only people as batshit insanely dedicated to living forever like the witch even think it’s worth practicing.

>>214406672 (OP)
why are they running away A-posing like a bugged video game?
That was a rhetorical question I don't care if it's explained in the movie I'm just pointing out that it looks fucking retarded

>>214415524
A movie doesnt have to have some social or personal message but this movie pretty heavy handedly alluded to being about something (school shootings, alienation, suburban decay whatever) but Cregger didn't know how to incorporate that idea beyond trite symbolism and decided it was too hard so lol spooky old lady.

>>214417084
More like because she was a really dumb witch

>>214417084
>voodoo
Damn, this is what it should've been about. The idea of zombies (enslaved souls, not undead) originated from african voodoo.
But maybe making the witch black and voodoo themed would be too controversial.

>>214417163
Asserts dominance on the non-witches

>>214406672 (OP)
So, why was the teacher the main target for everyone and not the fucking family of the only kid who didn't disappear? Why did no federal agents demand to speak to both his mother and father rather than his crazy aunt? Even the Asian principal pointed out that she isn't his guardian so he can't speak to her instead of the kid's actual parents. Did the aunt tell the police that both his parents, which have small wounds all over their faces, had strokes right before all those kids disappeared? This movie was well shot and well made, but holy fuck was it stupid.

>>214406672 (OP)
You got filtered by this movie if you weren't able to piece together that grandma is an amalgamation of conservative ideology.

I've never seen a movie that deserved less praise for having an anti-school shooter message. This movie has two scenes an hour and a half into the film of really mild bullying, and Brolin has a dream sequence with a shitty PS3 model assault rifle floating above a house. That's it as far as connection to school shooting goes.

>>214418075
elaborate in detail. or youre a brainrot shitposter

Zach Cregger killed Trevor Moore btw.

>movie starts
>"kids disappeared forever"
well that was a lie
>"police questioned parents"
well that was a lie

>>214418090
I think biggest connection is how all children dissapeared and ending was like a wish fulfillment where kids return and take revenge on one well defined villain

>>214418090
don't forget the kid that got bullied is responsible for the "disappearance" of his entire class, because of trauma he was experiencing at home.

>>214418090
I never understood archer was a bully

>>214410074
Me when mommy didn't buy tendies

>>214418158
thats what u get for trusting a 7 year old girl, the director of the feature

>>214406797
It's fine, great even. Just your usual contrarian anon rage baiting

>>214413340
I mean, that’s not a secret galaxybrain clue, it’s literally a note with instructions written on it

>OLD PEOPLE BAD
>WHITE PEOPLE BAD
>MAGIC BAD
>POLICE BAD
>LGBT BAD

>>214419258
Brainrot

>>214410082
Mad that this was condemned as sexist simply because women are the bad characters in it

>>214406672 (OP)
one of the worst movies i've ever seen.

>ultra online astroturfed movie turns out to be the worst movie ive ever seen
First it was sinners but now it’s been succeeded by weapons. So pretty much if the internet loves the movie it’s shit. Dead internet theory is well and alive.

>>214407346
you guys are looking at it too simplistically.

the witch has a magical bonsai tree, she might be feeding it blood.

the magical bonsai tree gives magical tree branches.

a magic ritual was conducted on the children in the class using their name tags, this bound the children to the witch and some totem involved in the ritual.

during the scene where the gay guy is killed, his hair needs to be wrapped around the branch, before the branch is snapped, to order benedict wong to kill her. and a person item (a ribbon) is tied around the branch, before the bell is rung, to bind wong to the branch.

so theres lots of stuff that could be involved to give this ritual power.

so the kid finds a branch already prepared by the witch, the branch belongs to a voodoo bonsai tree that has already been fed blood, and thus could be pre charged with magical energy.

the branch already has personal items of the children wrapped around it, because the witch was preparing branches for the children, because she needs to get them all to move the next day and go somewhere else.

so the kid grabs one of these branches already in use in a ritual, already magically charged, and he wraps one of the witches hairs around the branch, adds his own blood, and breaks the branch, compelling the kids to kill the witch.

totally plausible, he needed all those elements to conduct the ritual.

>>214418054
because of the witches magic dumb ass.

>>214420353
>the witch made the whole town dumb
>the witch made the entire police force retarded (including the search dogs who could easily track the kids to the house a few blocks away)
just say bad writing, bro

>>214420580
how is it bad writing, its a movie about a witch that can cast spells to utterly mentally dominate people. why can't she also be the reason why the police and other people are stupid.

Also, alex's house was literally investigated, the police did literaly go to that house and search it looking for the children.

the witch commanded all the children to leave the house and hide somewhere during that search.

did you watch the movie?

>>214420580
>search dogs

Notoriously unreliable

>>214420681
>the witch commanded all the children to leave the house and hide somewhere during that search.
because the rules wee already established HOW they were under her control.
If the witch was as overpowered as you're making her out to be there would be no movie - she just wins.

>>214414408
yeah you're right