Thread 214512809

what are we thinking buddies?

>>214512809 (OP)
its a 2 hour long WKUK sketch.

>>214512809 (OP)
I'm not your buddy

>>214512843
we can be

>>214512809 (OP)
Most overrated film of the year, by far.
(But Hamnet just won Tiff people's choice, with Frankenstein coming second and Wake Up Dead Man in third, so it's got some real competition coming it's way)

>>214512838
not enough liquid PCP men

>>214512873
my main criticism is the episode structure, other than that it had some strong points

>>214512809 (OP)
shit's retarded yo

>>214512843
Why would you say that fren?

/tv/ hates it so you know its awesome
not enough trump cameos for them

It was basically a white Jordan Peele flick
Interesting premise with interesting characters, but without the inherent low self esteem that black people have for being forced to be born black that have causes them to have cringe seething at white people disguised as social commentary

So it's an 8/10 in my book

>>214513000
modern /tv/ was very contrarian.

i'm here since 09 and we used to have very nice recommendation threads about movies.

now if something is popular or it filters some idiot it's "bad"

>>214512809 (OP)
good flick but I've yet to see anyone give a decent explanation for why justine wasn't killed or zombified or whatever in the car

>>214513000
/tv/ liked it from day one

why did they show a weapon above the house yo

>>214512809 (OP)
I have it loaded up in my mpv but haven't pressed play yet, looks dumb, don't know what's it about.

>>214512809 (OP)
It was above average, though there are a couple of scenes that require heavy suspension of disbelief. Like the chinese guy running an entire marathon, covered in blood and nobody calling the cops. The witch somehow manhandling brolin in the basement and then having enough time to pull off the entire ritual before he reacts

>>214513090
vibes

Interesting once, but zero rewatchability. There was an interesting story in there, but the way it was told was disjointed because the writer didn't want to or couldn't flesh it out. It felt like a plot outline that got green lit.

the "headbutting scene" was really something

>>214512809 (OP)
I give it 5/10.

>>214512809 (OP)

5 million plot holes at last count. In other words, the story/writing is SHIT.

>>214513338
Name 4.

>>214513073
>i'm here since 09
same, unfortunately.

>>214513085
I only ever see threads full of hate

>>214513338
i would say it's uneven

>>214513338
name 1

>>214513354
i mean, it's the last usable board in the page.

some days are better than others, but at least you know about new movies and series once in a while

>>214513205
watched it twice and i found it much better on a second viewing knowing he wrote the screenplay for it right after trevor moore died to kinda get his mind off of things

>>214513267
what was with him puking crude oil? did they ever explain that?

>>214513376
17 kids disappearing the fbi not being involved.

>>214513073
I only post about movies I haven't seen and have no intention of seeing. I'm not posting actual kino here because casting pearls before the swine on this board is retarded.

>>214512809 (OP)
It's good but nothing special
The build up was a bit too long but interesting story
>Rate: 7/10

>>214513411
You find FBI not being involved the biggest plot hole in a movie about a fucking witch?

>>214513434
>there's a paranormal element so nothing has to make real world sense!
Did she put a fucking cloak over the town or something? If so, fine, then say that.

>>214513411
some of those kids were black, so it makes sense

>>214513411
fbi are only involved when a crime crosses state lines or when there's a threat to national security
they'll only get themselves involved in other cases if there is a request

>take hansel and gretel and make it post modern
>call it an 'original' idea
Tired of hollywood acting like they still have new and inventive ideas. This was just slop made for low information tiktokkers

>>214513482
>If a child is missing and possibly kidnapped, but no interstate transportation is known, will the FBI begin an investigation? Yes. The FBI will initiate a kidnapping investigation involving a missing child “of tender years,” even though there is no known interstate aspect.
And there is no way there wouldn't be a request after these kids were missing for days and weeks.

>>214513482
>fbi are only involved when a crime crosses state lines or when there's a threat to national security
I bet you think the CIA doesn't operate on U.S. soil too.

>>214513482
all us agencies do literally whatever the fuck they want. its the 3rd world country, what do you expect?

>>214513434
>>214513482
FBI are involved anytime there is a kidnapping g so yeah they would show up for 17 kids going missing.

Also nobody noticed the one surviving kids parents going full zombie shut in. Normally police would have had a unit sitting at the house day and night.

>>214513407
>what was with him puking crude oil?
Probably demon ichor or some shit. It's heavily implied the method of mind control is some form of demonic possession

>>214513600
the naruto running was funny tho

>>214513600
is that the unofficial reason they seem so strong and resilient?

>>214513718
also the use of salt lines.

>Let me into your house please?
>sure, why not!!!

>>214513744
qrd me some demon lore

it doesn't work well as a horror, though there are couple of strong moments, mostly in the finale. But works great as a drama. Interesting characters and literally every single vignette was very nice to follow
>>214512873
>But Hamnet just won Tiff people's choice, with Frankenstein coming second and Wake Up Dead Man in third, so it's got some real competition coming it's way
you haven't seen a single one of those

explain the m4 please

>>214513718
You can see on Gladys bell summoning sigils so it's implied when they enter a catatonic state, they're open to be inhabited by evil spirits under her control

>>214513548
>>214513577
>kidnapping
there were no sign of kidnapping they just ran off into the night they looked to see if they had been kidnapped by alex's parents or by julia but they came up empty at that point it was just a missing person's case, a strange one but that's all that it was from their pov

>>214513822
No sane person would see 17 kids missing at the exact same time all from the same class as a missing persons case. Also yhr town would have been crawling with media hounding everyone.

>>214513793
in various cultures, the salt lines or circles protect you against evil energy

>>214513866
thats not how they are used in the movie though, its just a trip wire

>>214513852
you're too much of a hindsight harry, you personally know they were kidnapped but the police don't know that based on what evidence they have
for all they know the kids might've just done it because they thought it'd be funny. which is something they even try to figure out with the questions they ask alex

>>214513882
i know, but the use of salts or some kinda of plant as defense in rituals can be found in a lot of cultures against witches

>>214513882
>>214513866
>>214513924
i think in this case she just programmed the people to attack whoever stepped over the salt. doesn't really have any real meaning beyond that just a point of reference for the people being controlled

>>214513821
From my understanding of Goetic rituals, the magic used in the film is in line with what a lot of secret society acolytes would use for certain blood magic rituals. This shit goes deep into hollywood circles and the movie is chock full of openly mocking its audience right in front of them on what they do to their children

>>214513795
>you haven't seen a single one of those
You're right.
But they all look pretty shit.
Hamnet directed by Chloe Zhao. Nomadland is an atrocious film. The Eternals redefined how shit capeshit could be. I have zero faith she's magically turned into a competent filmmaker.
Frankenstein is directed Del Toro. There's too much with him to get into but he hasn't made a good film in over a decade and The Shape of Water was offensively bad. Pan's Labyrinth may as well have been made by a different filmmaker at this point. Again, zero faith in him.
Wake Up Dead Man is the third in a trilogy by Rian Johnson. The last 2 Knives Out films were both bad and poorly written. Though I do think the 2nd is better than the first purely because the characters don't seem quite as brain damaged, I still have strong doubts that this entry is actually good.

>>214513799
it appeared to me in a dream

i really liked the use of practical effects at the end

i dont particularly like when movies try to wrap up plotholes at the end, like the father coming into the school looking like a corpse with holes in his face and the prof not caring at all, or the kids all returning for one hour without literally anyone noticing or getting woken up by the ring cam which was a major plot point, i had managed to suspend my disbelief about how retarded everyone was, but that took me back out of it
luckily it was right at the end so still 7/10

>>214513426
You sound miserable and just like the people you're complaining about

>>214514292
youre forgetting that it didnt full the gay chink and he was going to call cps on them

the part about cops being totally useless and ring cams and stuff is true. if they make another it should be with the government in on it which would explain things

I liked that the movie wasn't ashamed to be about a witch doing magic, it didn't cop out trying to be realistic and grounded like some other horror movies explaining things with science or psychology in order to please people that find anything fantastical silly.

I liked watching it, but I don't think it deserves the high praise.

>>214514292
>or the kids all returning for one hour
Wtf are you talking about?

>>214512838
It really is. Entire thing just built up to a punchline, only someone with a background in comedy could really pull it off.

>>214514425
i mean it got decent ratings but not "high praise"

they had a fun ending idea for a witch controlling kids story, worked backwards from there, and cae up with some dumbass needless multiple perspective faggotry that was only worth the runtime of a good Tales from the Crypt episode, not 2hrs 8mins wtf

>wanted a grounded take how a community handles 17 children going missing with no obvious perpetrator or motive
>"NOPE EVERYTHING IS SILLY AND OUTRAGEOUS LOL XDDD"

Wacky outlandish horror is for pea-brains

>>214514480
94% on Rotten Tomatoes and raving reviews from people on letterboxd. Also it didn't really feel like a horror movie at any point.

>>214512809 (OP)
can't believe this was the film everyone was raving about
seriously overrated

>>214514480
i mean the marketing was pretty strong and it is a good movie, but worse movies had more hype in recent years

>two jumpscares in the first 40 minutes
Two strikes, another one and I turn it off.

>>214514587
lol no one cares troon

>>214514292
>or the kids all returning for one hour without literally anyone noticing or getting woken up by the ring cam
When did that happen? The only time I remember Gladys letting the kids out of the basement was for the police to search the house and they probably just hid in the woods or some shit, nothing implied they went back home at that time.

also forgot to mention that this movie had zero scares or any real attempts at tension
gook fag principle attacks and the finale were fun, but not scary or tense
zero dread
not sure if i've ever seen a large budget horror that did so little horror

>>214512809 (OP)
why is it called weapons

>>214514703
Weaponized mind control.

>>214513799
Subliminal 'guns cause school shootings, ergo; missing/dead kids' slop messaging

also forgot to mention that the floating Call of Duty weapon selection gun was laughable
but ive really been enjoying the WKUK youtube reuploads

>>214514587
they were well done

>>214513090
lefties love guns

Really wanted to like this movie, was excited to see it in theaters (which is rare for me). Was honestly very disappointed, felt like like the premise and trailer severely let down the actual movie. Build up that really went nowhere and then suddenly ended

>>214512809 (OP)
The scene with the teacher sleeping in the car was genuinely one of the scariest scenes of the last few years. Highlight of the movie.

The first part of the movie with Julia Garner is good but it squanders a very interesting premise to become a stupid comedy about a cop chasing a crack addict

>>214515132
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlbqq5sB8Rg

Do you all think his Resident Evil film will be POV hopping too? Does Zach know how to make a straight forward narrative? He certainly didn't know how to end a sketch.

>>214515098
>Build up that really went nowhere
I dunno man, the reverse child sacrifice in the end was pretty cathartic to witness

>>214512809 (OP)
Pretty boring movie. Didn't like the leads. No real clue what the fuck Gladys was doing to "get better" that took an entire month and then some to achieve. Also it's silly that of an entire police force and feds only a disgruntled dad bothered to examine the direction the kids were running to in the videos.

>>214515251
this

comedy masquerading as a horror

it's a troll movie made for irony poisoned retards

It starts as a very serious story about children going missing with implications towards abuse, cults, brainwashing, societal paranoia and then does nothing with that because it's actually about a goofy witch trying to eat people (the comedic parts aren't funny btw)

I genuinely scratch my head at the types of movies that get praised by critics for the past 10-15 years. I'm not trying to be contrarian but it feels like people have collectively forgotten what a good movie actually looks like

Unironically laughed at kids chasing the hag scene
Good movie

>>214515366
you kinda are

>>214512838
Did WKUK really have extended play of suspense and mystery in ordinary setting?

>>214515407
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-y0DKUEWVw

>>214515407
it was mostly gay jokes and based takes on the U.S government

>>214515366
>It starts as a very serious story about children going missing with implications towards abuse, cults, brainwashing, societal paranoia and then does nothing with that
I don't even know what you're trying to convey saying this. The movies establishes all of those things and then culminates in a cathartic end to the evil. If anything, the comedy doesn't undercut but highlights the aspects of such a horror that aunt Gladys poses. A parasite that lives among us and is treated unseriously poses a bigger threat in reality than any made up spooky monster or aliens

>>214515263
>witch has the power to undo death
>zoomer retards: "OMG, why is it taking so long???"

>>214515550
It's stupid and not scary, stop trying to be clever and look at movies directly

>>214515432
I like how you can clearly see the girls panties as the camera zooms in on Trevor

>>214515593
it was a different time

I hear this movie is apparently like a horror version of Magnolia

Should I watch Magnolia?

I want her so fucking bad bros

>>214515611
yeah.

it's great

>>214515586
>stop trying to be clever and look at movies directly
I just did. You want to pretend like the movie wasn't in touch with traditional horror sensibilities when it definitely was. Sorry to hear you got filtered by your own logic, bud

>>214515611
PTA is a shit director and Magnolia is his worst movie so take that as your advice

>>214515617
Seek help

>>214515593
I didn't see that. Timestamp?

>>214512809 (OP)
>Now get this. We remake the entire movie the exact same way, change absolutely nothing, okay? Except, and this makes the whole movie, we add a /ss/ subplot.

>>214515639
I didn't mention "traditonal horror sensibilities", I said it's stupid and not scary (which is true)

You're a shill btw

>>214515664
I couldn't find it again, it's a blink and you'll miss it moment.

>>214515689
>you're a shill if you disagree with my warped contrarian viewpoint
Nah

>>214515653
Based take

>>214515653
Well I love Boogie Nights, There Will Be Blood, The Master, Phantom Thread and Licorice Pizza so

>>214514726
Wow how exciting

>>214515653
weak bait

>>214515659
I was fantasising about her coming to my house and doing the exact same but I wouldn't be scared and she'd be thrown off and I tell her she can do whatever to my parents I'll help her no matter what. Then she's fascinated with me and takes me under her wing a little and I do my best to please her and when she tells me to get the stuff from my classmates I get stuff from other classrooms too and she'd be ecstatic at how willing I am and then teach me a thing or two, maybe making me do a bonding ritual with me. Then she says I've been so good I deserve something special and she takes my virginity and completely drains me with her vaccum-like pussy in order to absorb all my youthful essence.

>>214515653
The real based take is knowing Inherent Vice is his best film but we're not ready to have that conversation

>>214515639
>pretend like the movie wasn't in touch with traditional horror sensibilities
not that anon, but it wasn't
like i mentioned above, this film had almost no scares
made evident that people are calling the 'passed out drunk in the car' scene the scariest part of the movie. which, honestly, it did have tension - only because the viewer thinks something scary MIGHT happen
it never does

>>214515571
>witch has the power to undo death
Proof?
>zoomer retards: "OMG, why is it taking so long???"
This doesn't address what she was even doing. I don't care if it takes long necessarily there just needs to be a point beyond having kids in a basement eating soup. Could even just have a throwaway line that she's waiting for a particular cycle of the moon.

>>214515432
One of my all-time favorite sketches by them. Rip Travis

>>214515756
I'm not baiting when I say Magnolia is a terrible movie and Kevin Smith is right about it.

>>214515781
is it better than "the master"?

i haven't watched it

>>214515792
>the cross scene in the exorcist wasn't scary it was...le TENSE
You could say this about a lot of things, what people find scary is subjective and is mostly rooted in mundane activities. Being messed with in your car asleep IS scary to most people

>>214515815
You cannot be this fucking stupid.

>>214515836
It's about on par but rewards repeat viewings more. Just watch it completely sober and take in every detail as much as you can.

>>214513411
A very big theme of the film was showing authorities with incompetence, given the entire segment on the jackass cop. It was intentional. Makes me want to watch the many WKUK cop sketches

>>214514540
>>214514587
I love that the outcry against this movie is that it wasn't le slow and bonechilling enough. It's like pretentious fags got tricked into watching a horror movie and are now mad that they watched a horror movie, lmao.

There's literally nothing wrong with the film. It was a great horror flick, sorry the sociopolitical commentary wasn't the central theme, cry about it.

Cregger is the cousin of Al Gore’s wife

>>214515975
>sociopolitical commentary
There's even still some of that for these fags to chomp at like the incompetent authorities and abduction of children for blood sacrifice in society

>>214515831
you're just being a retarded contrarian

>>214515871
The entire fucking heart of the movie centered on the kids going missing and why and all we get is "idk a witch needs them for a months long sacrifice or something". And I'm stupid for finding this to be completely flat and uninteresting. She also just shows up in people's dreams for shit's and giggles despite wanting to do her shit incognito lmao.

>>214516047
>a months long sacrifice or something
She was using the kids as lifeforce, she was sucking the life out of them to extend her own life.

>>214516038
It's not a particuarly contrarian opinion, Magnolia is a divisive film and lots of people hate it

>>214516025
Al Gore’s daughter married rock musician Damian Kulash of OKGO and together they wrote and directed the shitty Beanie Baby comedy biopic from 2 years ago.

Weapons, The Beanie Bubble, and An Inconvenient Truth have a connected deeper encompassing message. You heard it here first.

>>214516100
since when?

i watched in the cinema when it came out and it was beloved.

is this a new take?

Very overrated. Barbarian is better in many respects.

>>214516185
Agreed, Barbarian managed to be both scarier and funnier

Is there anyone more pseudo-intellectual than "smart horror" fans?

>boring and slow= slow burn
>bad writing = symbolism and metaphor
>not scary = creeping sense of dread
>no good kills = not about gore
>unsatisfying ending = open-ended and groundbreaking

>>214515632
based and thanks

>>214516185
Barbarian is what the contrarian fags accuse Weapons to be
>ermahgerd le mysterious tunnel??
>acshually wait it's comedy hour with justin long now
>achually fooled you! it was a horror all along except not really gotta undercut it with an illogical backstory that makes no sense

>>214512809 (OP)
It was fucking SHIT. Julia Garner can't act for SHIT.

>>214516372
it's a better movie than Weapons, sorry if you're a shill or emotionally invested or whatever but it's not very good. Even the recent Final Destination sequel was a better horror flick.

>>214516416
Any A24 film is better than Barbarian. It was Creggers first foray into making a hollywood standard film and you could tell by the shoddy script.

Bidenfags vote against their own economic interests

>>214516547
/pol/ is down the hall and to the right, sir

>>214516543
you're trying too hard, Weapons isn't very good

>>214516601
>you're trying too hard
And liking the film that fewer people do isn't trying hard enough?

>>214516395
the fuck are talking about?

she and Brolin are the best actors in this?

>>214512809 (OP)
its above average. its okay, but not good. the premise of people being controlled is interesting and the production is not bad. however, the different perspectives are too repetitive, the dream scenes should have been cut completely, a lot of details like the cop slowly opening the tent without saying anything are retarded. also, the conclusion is shit. she was just an ordinary human, anyone can do those spells, and the boy beats her. would have been much better if she was supernatural, some very old monster that didnt lose to some woman and traumatized kid

>>214513376
17 kids disappeared at the same time, most if not all were seen on a ring camera, and no one except some dipshit tradescuck thought to check if they were heading in the same direction.

a witch doing witch stuff in modern day times isnt so bad of a concept even if its kind of stale, but the execution was shitty. the zombified people doing things just isn't very scary or mysterious, and a fat gook naruto-running for miles to chimpout on somebody is just comically lame.
they also made people behave quite realistically, probably to be apart from generic horror movies, but it ultimately made things feel less impactful because the witch doesn't really have a very powerful or scary presence at all in the community. the scariest part imo was actually the parents just sitting still staring into nothing before you knew what was going on, especially the first time you see them through the window. the scene where they stabbed themselves with forks was creepy. the forced jumpscares were pointless, the sleeping in car scene wasn't actually scary but just the creepy violin music carrying it, the little bits that hinted at gladys being an old witch from salem was more uncreative staleness, the ending was unsatisfying.

if some faggots didnt get it, its heavily implied gladys is 100s of years old with how out of touch she is regarding illnesses, and she probably isn't related to the family.

>>214516799
>everyone was shit in this film
>but these were the least shittiest shit amongst the shit
Ok

28 Years Later was better

>>214516185
Barbarian didn’t go far enough. A creepy sex dungeon with 1 inbred monster, are you kidding me. Should have been a fucking army of them down there.

It feels like a Jordon Peele movie for white people (in a bad way)

>>214516907
Ruined by the power rangers

>>214516943
he tried to get this movie and failed.

look it up

>>214516950
Thank god he didn’t. The teacher would have been played by Lupita Nyongo and the script would have had incessant race-baiting dialogue

>>214516950
>>214517000
he wanted to produce it, it'd still be the same movie, directed by Cregger.

>>214513772
leanbeffpatty looking rough

>>214512809 (OP)
Why did the kid in the start say that the kids never came back? They totally did.

>>214517004
really?

i guess you're right.

Is he in "director jail" after "nope"?

>>214517242
they never came back to their original form

they changed

>>214517276
he has a finished movie that Universal have shelved and currently has no release date

comedy gold with a happy ending.

>>214517242
>>214517349
It was also a message that kids of abuse will never be the same after the trauma

I only watched this movie because I think Julia Garner is cute

>>214517536
she is

>cameras everywhere watching kids run out of their houses
>no cameras anywhere watching them run into the witch house

>>214517560
Yeah that's what I said

>>214512809 (OP)
Cringe and Stupid, like most modern horror movies.

>>214512809 (OP)
Just saw it
I honestly like it. I would love for it to be more scary/intense, but I enjoyed it nonetheless
8/10

>>214517429
why arent they doing the naruto run?

>>214517736
let me tell you why youre wrong:

>>214516395
don't talk about my upside-down mouthed wife like that

>>214517755
she need a NEET INCEL FREAK like me to turn her frown upside down

>>214515975
Extremely based post, I couldn't agree more

>>214515975
this guy gets it

>>214517749
It was the kid that broke the branch so maybe the practitioner has to be more learned to make them do the run

>>214515975
I hate that I read this in Arnold's voice

>>214516113
Sounds like trve shizo take. Can you explain it?

It was good until this exact moment.

>>214513407
That's just homosexual blood

For me this movie in the same tier as "longlegs" but with MUCH better third act.

>>214518461
why

>>214515975
>It was a great horror flick
It was shit and a waste of two hours. It should have been less than 90 minutes. Not as shit as Skinamarink, though.

>>214518591
It's completely at odds with the film's tone up until that moment. It's just too comical.

>>214518511
Longlegs was probably the most tryhard film in trying to be scary
>evil orb brainwashes people
Only people it would scare are boomers who bought into the satanic panic of the 80s

>>214518630
oh no? a joke in my horrorino?

i liked it

>>214518708
There's a place and time for jokes instead of having to rely to capeshit bathos humor.

>>214517749
I think it's probably cause it was dangerous to have little kids do that kind of run in uneven terrain full of obstacles and so close to eachother so they just decided to let them run normal.

>>214518511
>>214518655
Longlegs had potential but it sucked. The psychic shit was interesting, but they did little with it ultimately. I feel like these writers and directors hear about something, do the most cursory research then write drab shit.

>>214512809 (OP)
Borderline AI slop level writing.
Don't get me wrong, the movie was fun, but it's completely devoid of any depth and there's nothing to think about when the credits roll.
Hereditary and The VVITCH made me think about what was happening and on repeat viewings, you see the stories in a different light.
Weapons doesn't have anything like that, it's just a creepy old witch lady and everything around her is superficial and just designed to be spooky.

>>214514763
>Call of Duty weapon selection gun
Anti gamer discrimination. Gamers truly are the most oppressed race

>>214514112
I'm so fucking tired of Frankenstein, Dracula and the Wolfman remakes. Holy fuck why can't they just make an original concept.

>>214517429
Nepal.webm

>>214518461
>>214518630
anon thats what I mean by >>214512838, its 2 hours of build up to an absolutely hilarious pay off and thats the point of the film.

>>214518630
>mature witch mindrapes a bunch of people
>it's dark and mysterious
>snot-nosed kid mindrapes a bunch of other kids
>it's quirky and funny
I can buy that

>>214517749
They're being controlled by a different person

>>214519087
>it's completely devoid of any depth and there's nothing to think about when the credits roll.
It's as deep as any typical horror movie. It foreshadows that there's a witch running around town by having a woman drive a car around town that says WITCH on it and still there are people flocking to this board every day saying the witch reveal blindsided them. People are still asking how her powers work even though it's shown in the movie. They're asking what are her motives, even though that's apparent as well.

>>214519400
I don't care what dumb people who don't have any attention span think. The problem for me was that there's nothing beyond the superficial. Longlegs had more to ponder over due to the events of the movie and the ending being left somewhat open to interpretation, whereas Weapons is an open and shut case.
I enjoyed watching it, the actors are great, the directing is great and I wasn't bored at any point but there isn't any substance to it as a story.

>>214515611
>I hear this movie is apparently like a horror version of Magnolia
Whoever said this is retarded. I guess as far as being an ensemble cast maybe and emotions play into the story to some extent, but Monster is nowhere near the heightened melodrama of Magnolia.
>Should I watch Magnolia?
Go for it.

>Josh Brolin dreams hes following his son and his son runs into a house with a giant floating gun above it
>WHAT DOES IT MEAN??? says the plebian with no understand of semiotics
>Its explained his subconscious is putting together that the kids were activated and weaponised
>OMG WHY WOULD THE DIRECTOR SPOIL HIS OWN MOVIE???

This movie has proved people have actually gotten dumber than i thought they already were.

>>214512809 (OP)
>>214512873
>>214512902
THIS BASICALLY!
Film is nothing new as far as witchcraft films go, but the setup makes it decent compared to the typical hollywood tropes

>>214513090
He was a vet, he was subconsciously projecting his personal history to map out what happened. But then again the map is not the territory, our quick impressions of the thing is not the thing itself.

The witch laughs at Brolin's confusion anger and guilt while she continues her weaponising shenanigans from the shadows, taking advantage of the victims' emotions and the gaps in truth to further her goals

>>214520073
>Whoever said this is retarded.
calling it "the horror version of Magnolia" is a scretch but Magnolia was an inspiration for the movie
>Director Zach Cregger cites Magnolia (1999) as an inspiration on the film, with him looking to make Weapons an "unapologetic epic" in the vein of that film: "I love that movie. I love that kind of bold scale. It gave me permission when I was writing this to shoot for the stars and make it an epic. I wanted a horror epic, and so I tried to do that."

>>214520148
>ts explained his subconscious is putting together that the kids were activated and weaponised
There is literally zero reason for him to think this.
Zero.
Fucking retard.

I thought Kregger definitely improved his style since Barbarian.

>>214520231
They sure don't like this mamdani fella

no torrent
no watch

>>214512809 (OP)
what does being beaten to death by a large group of little kids feel like bros

>>214517749
The kids were running with their arms lifted at their sides. Why do people keep calling it a Naruto run?

>>214512809 (OP)
Overrated

>>214520327
Unless he has experience with guns, which isn't unusual for a construction worker.

>>214519312
This. The younger generation are more into jujutsu kaisen and demonslayer

What is this show about? Witches?

>>214520148
Having an assault rifle there instead of a missile is dumb as hell. The writer almost definitely had ulterior motives which he got cold feet about.

>>214519634
Longlegs had nothing to ponder. It's just a bad ripoff of other movies without their depth

>>214520912
I thought Gen z are into One Piece

>>214521019
Gen Z is almost 30. That's gen A

I didn't get it.

>>214520901
I think he was a vet + the gun poster was the first thing he wakes up to in his room. He's wringing his brain dry with what limited info he has to make sense of what happened. In a more meta way the audience too is projecting meaning unto the floating gun with the limited info they have.

>>214520745
/tv/ could you beat 17 kids? i think i could, but i am not sure

>>214520231
what about the witch why did that bih appear in his dream

>>214512809 (OP)
ISSE NO SE

>>214521638
>In a more meta way the audience too is projecting meaning unto the floating gun with the limited info they have
Lame as fuck, he's a hack if that was his angle.

>>214521853
>grab one kids legs
>HELICOPTER HELICOPTER

>>214517536
>I only watched this movie because I think Julia Garner is cute

>>214519206
heh

>>214521957
I think this ties back into Principal Bobby Lee's convo with the witch:

>Okay. Forgive me…
>We have not met. Is that right?
>No, I don’t think so.
>Okay… Phew.
>Because I was relatively certain I'D REMEMBER

Gladys has a striking face, one that would get burned in the back of our minds. My guess is that is to suggest that Josh Broilin has seen Glady's already, perhaps in the PTA meeting? In a gut feel level he's flagged Gladys as sussy but on the rational level he's locked in on Julia Gardener. Just like sometimes our own rationalizing biases can give us tunnel vision to shut out the more obvious truth

>>214512809 (OP)

IT'S GOOD! IT'S REALY GOOD!

The story, all comes together.
Dialogues are credible
Good acting, photography

I'm happy I gave it a chance

>>214522199
she looks like a whore and a karen at the same time

>>214513772
>I need a drink, give me a bowl of water
>sure, seems fine!!!

>>214522199
I'm glad the cop got AIDS and transmitted it to her.

>>214522521
and she ends up not even using the bowl

>>214521638
>In a more meta way the audience too is projecting meaning unto the floating gun with the limited info they have.

>>214522752
yes she does you retard

After some deliberation I think I got it. The movie is about a school shooting, school shooters and the blame of society around it.
>Witch: obviously the malignant agent that invades the life of the shooter, it has no purpose outside of proliferating itself, the movie compares it to a parasite; it could be any ideology
>classmates are the bullying, isolation, or whatever lack of empathy for the person of the shooter
>the teacher, shown in the movie as a troubled individual, is clearly not a person that should have children under her care; she doesn't even notice the boy stole the names of the baskets
>the principal is just a regular paper pusher
>police is incompetent or not morally sound
>last, the kid's parent fail to notice he needs help
The gun the girl's father sees in the dream, that seems so out of place in the move, was the weapon the kid used to shoot up his class.

>>214518384
No

>>214516136
It insists upon itself

>>214522775
When? I remember the bowl of water being used to stop the homing attack, by placing the broken stick in it. But she doesn't stop the curse at the house since she sends him after Justine and then leaves.
She bled in the bowl but I thought she was just rising her cut finger, didn't seem like part of the ritual based on the other instaces of it.

>>214522966
get off your phone and watch the movie next time you tard

>>214512809 (OP)
Its extremely good. I really appreciated that it didn't have this absolute illness a lot of horror movies like this have nowadays where the paranormal events either aren't explained enough, or are extremely arbitrary to the point that they don't work as part of a traditional story. The paranormal stuff in weapons makes sense, it has consistent rules. It all followed those rules and didn't become some incoherent mess towards the end, so lost in metaphor and subtext it forgets about the diagetic reality and text. A clear sequence of events happened.

It doesn't tell you like, where magic comes from in this universe, like if there's a devil or if its like a nefarious natural force or something, but that's not important. The characters don't know that either, like if you encountered something paranormal in real life if it turned out to be real. The important thing is that it has consistent rules, and those rules are used to logically form the ending in a satisfying way without introducing new sudden bullshit. Its how endings are meant to work, principles that bad horror movies often think they're exempt from because they're horror. You don't know exactly where Gladys came from or what her backstory is, but you know the perfect amount-she's a witch. She's probably impossibly old because she doesn't understand modern culture of how to blend in with it all.

So many horror movies that are meant to be good, that are meant to be "actually good" are mediocre at best, a lot of A-24 type stuff. This is like Midsommar where it surprises me by actually being extremely good because I go into every one of these expecting them to drop the ball and become really mediocre at some point. Especially always braced for the plot melting and getting lost in metaphor. Also another good "follows rules" horror movie I never see people talking about is Oculus.

>>214523029
Just rewatched the scene, you're right
my apolocheese

>>214523029
>>214523200
I know I could use the internet to figure this out, but I haven't done that yet so I'll ask.

Was this that same creepy bitch from Gretel & Hansel?

>>214513119
Yeah that and Brolin being manhandled by the junkie after he beat his ass many times.. alcoholic lady had to save him

This movie reminds me of Who Cloned Tyrone

>>214523200
>>214512809 (OP)
so is the magic that she can have the weapons interact with someone else (clipping the hair from the jewess) but she cant get them to actually violently attack someone unless you use their hair or something in the ritual?

i just now realized this and it seems like a major issue with the magic and how it works. i was thinking she can just order them to do whatever she wants

>>214523286
this is also why i guess she didnt use the kids to attack thanos when he was in the basement with her

>>214516884
The feds and cops writing off Gladys, or at least the unzombified boy's household, was so fucking retarded. Brolin had to use only two household's can footage to find a zone the kids met up in. Fucking retarded but admittedly enjoyed the movie otherwise

>>214523377
>>214516884
theres setups that the cops are involved somehow but then nothing comes of it

>asks about the dogs (which could have tracked them the night it happened) and gets blown off
>jewess asks if they are working on the case and jew cop just brushes it off
>case ended up being extremely easy to solve and suggests even cop coverup almost

but then the jew cops actually does investigate it and nothing else is said about the weird non-existent investigation

>>214523439
Agreefd, ridiculous. Before the supernatural explanation with Gladys I legit thought the cops or feds were in on it

>>214512809 (OP)
the only thing that bothers me in the plot is the idea that the FBI nor the PD can't crack a 8 y/o and make him talk...

>>214523286
The spell/ritual she uses has six elements
>twig
>object belonging to controlled person
>hair of target
>blood
>bell
>water (in a bowl)
Use the scene of the gay guys in the kitchen as an example:
>wraps Marcus's ribbons around the twig
>wraps the other guy's hair around that
>smears her blood on it
>snaps the twig
(At this point, Marcus freezes and drops the phone he's holding)
>rings the bell
(Marcus kills his target)
>drops the wrapped twig in the water to reset Marcus
>replaces now-dead gay guy's hair with Justine's hair and repeats the ritual to send Marcus after Justine

>>214513119
>Like the chinese guy running an entire marathon, covered in blood and nobody calling the cops.
You'd be shocked how often people don't call police. A woman across the street from me got raped and murdered by her ex-husband and no one called in the kicked in door for hours until I did.

>>214522786
Interesting.

>>214523598
not what im talking about. im saying the only way she can have one attack someone is to have their hair. otherwise the "weapons" cant harm

the exception is when the jew cop and meth head attack but in that case she uniquely used the salt line boobytrap which i guess is the thing that allowed the weapons to attack someone they didnt have the hair of

>>214523660
...the fuck do you live?

>>214523660
>got raped and murdered by her ex-husband

im saying out of it, theres two sides to every story

>>214523598
That's slightly out of order
>>wraps Marcus's ribbons around the twig
>wraps the other guy's hair around that
>smears her blood on it
She smeared her blood first, then she wrapped the hair around
>snaps the twig
>(At this point, Marcus freezes and drops the phone he's holding)
>rings the bell
>(Marcus kills his target)
It's the other way around, she rings the bell putting Marcus under the spell, then snaps the twig sending him into kill mode
Also she rung the bell before wrapping the hair around the twig, though that probably doesn't matter.

>>214523695
I think you're right about that. A completely bald person maybe couldn't be targeted by that ritual.
I might need to watch the ending again, because I'm not 100% on how Alex gets Gladys's hair when he copies the ritual. Does he use hair from her wig?

>>214512809 (OP)
No proof but I think the witch has been alive for a long time. I think she took the body of the mother's sister.

>>214523967
yes, which makes things even more complicated because its either synthetic hair or literally some other random persons donated hair

>>214523696
Midwest USA. Normally no crime but guess the dude snapped
>>214523724
I dunno the details obviously but it was fucked up no one felt the need to call before I stepped out to smoke and noticed it

>>214523695
I think maybe the hair is just for the "homing system". The "weapons" are mind controlled and can do anything the witch programs the to, but in order for them to lock onto their target from anywhere they need that persons hair to track them.

>>214523967
>>214524000
Gladys had some long weird strings of hair, the kid pulled one of them out from under her wig

>>214524020
if that was the case she wouldnt need the faggots hair. she cuts his hair (big plot hole because she got really lucky being able to do that) and then casts the spell even though they are all standing in the same room

also thanos finds her in the basement with the kids (another plot hole because thanos would have overpowered her instantly) but instead of using the kids to attack or hole thanos she risks getting physical with him

>>214524095
oh good catch

>>214524119
I assume she can't control them in real time, she has to program them first and the hair is just a way to do it immediately

>>214523660
>no one called in the kicked in door for hours until I did
How did that convo go

>>214512809 (OP)
It was bad. Only the junkie decides to act well. Everything else was cheesy.

>>214523992
There's not hints or evidence of any of that

>>214524365
>911 the house across from me is obviously broken into
>okay wait for the officers to arrive
Dunno what you were expecting nigga

>>214524365
>Hey so the broad across the street got murdered then raped a few hours ago, but the guy left the front door damaged and that's making our neighbourhood look run down. I need you guys to write a report on it so I can take it to the HOA

>>214524437
>>214524451
>not getting some strokes in before calling the cops.
Tsk. Probably half the neighborhood got their licks in and that's why no one called

>>214514703
They said it in movie they become heat seeking missiles

>>214524451
Kek
>>214524487
One of my neighbors is a creepy old fuck so I would not be surprised
Anyway rewatching Weapons now, I'm glad they didn't give Gladys a backstory.

>>214512809 (OP)
Alden Ehrenreich and Austin Abrams are relentlessly handsome.

>>214512809 (OP)
>it just so happens no ring cams near their house. They would known where they went

>>214524429
I do find it odd though that she specifally mentioned to the principle that the kids dad was dying from wasting sickness, which is not common today

>>214524658
Rings only pick up movement close by typically. A child running in the middle of the street won't make the ring activate.

Even though this was a horror movie it felt super comfy.

>>214523111
trips and a blessed post

>>214513799
Beyond the obvious for brolin's character, someone suggested it was cregger securing the film title.
For barbarian the studio execs wanted to give it some goofy l33t speak name and he had to insist on barbarian which was just the street name in the script. So maybe he wanted to avoid this and wrote in the easily marketable imagery to go with the name he chose?

>>214515975
it's not a good movie unless i can map the very obvious theme to a ethos that was programmed into my brain by college. basically I am a simple pattern matching machine with no soul

>>214521638
You think he usually sleeps in a bed with Batman covers and posters of men with machine guns? He was sleeping in his missing sons room.

I keep overestimating the ability of anons to process information without filtering it through their retard cheesewire brains. Its like 70% of posters fell asleep and filled in the blanks and call it a plothole when the movie doesnt fit their special needs headcanon of what it shouldve been like.
>>214518630
So following the homeless junkie bumble around and steal ipads to pawn off for drug money and solve the big mystery solely to try and use the money from the missing kids for more drugs before giving the cop triple aids was fine but this was too much?

>>214525839
Exactly anon. He was retracing his son's steps quite literally from the room, submerging deep into his subconscious to search for factoids he might have missed that could help piece together the puzzle-the rifle poster? the alarm? then BAM>>214522423 he remembers the lady at the PTA meeting in an Inland Empire cosplay.

>>214522423
>muh heckin epicstein list

you lost again tranny

>>214523377
It happens. The real world is retarded, cops would *sometimes* even double down on their incompetence to try to cover up their incompetence.

https://youtu.be/icNKuGwd79Q

>>214522063
I like it, it's deep and profound and funny like the pictorial parables on the facebooks. 'Memes' as my grandson calls em.

>>214512809 (OP)
First half was very good at setting the tone and suspense, pacing and overall spooky vibes 10/10. Then the second half they start explaining things and it fell off.

>>214520148
>his subconscious
The witch had just arrived in town. The first and only time she interacted with the children was through her nephew stealing their namecards. There was literally nothing for his subconscious to put together.

>the kids were weaponized
All they do is stand around in a basement. Would've made more sense for a giant battery to appear above the house

>>214528115
but what drew the kids to the basement, witch probably weaponized them into killing a rat or something

>>214520634
Nobody likes gypsies

>>214523377
Before Brolin even did that I was thinking "they should observe the direction the kids were all running in as soon as they left their houses and triangulate the place of convergence".
>>214528178
Nah, the spell to bind them requires wrapping something they own around the twig.
If you want to set them on someone you need a lock of their hair to wrap around the same twig and then you need to snap the twig.

>>214513799
I have my interpretation of it, I posted it in a previous thread and I don't want to go over it again, but I think it relates to the film's title. Beyond that, even if my interpretation is incorrect or if there's no correct interpretation, there's an article I saw where Cregger said even he didn't know what it means(which doesn't mean it doesn't have a meaning, death of the author, etc), it still works as dreamlike imagery alone. He is dreaming,
>>214521638
>>214526711
as he suggested, it could just be coming from the poster being the last thing he saw before going to sleep.

>>214528115
>>214528643
nta you're replying to, but the film is called Weapons. The kids might be more like a battery, yes, but the witch is controlling them, in the same way you control a weapon. It might be a stretch and not quite literal, but personally I'm fine with calling a person under the witch's control a weapon, whether the person is bound or set on someone, it makes the film's title make sense.

>>214512809 (OP)
Overhyped

>>214512873
I thought it was pretty unimpressive, but I think Sinners is the most overrated movie of the year. Sinners is better, but people were really elevating it like it was some instant-classic when it was just okay. That said, I haven't seen any film this year that impressed me, it's been a pretty poor year from what I've seen.

school shooting allegory pseud-trannies on suicide watch

>>214512809 (OP)
It was great, saw it tonight for the first time. I liked Julia Garner's performance in particular, she's so enigmatic in the beginning that you flirt with the idea of her genuinely being behind it all in some fucked up way despite that it's her casted in the role. Her and Josh Brolin coming together because they're both the type to want to keep pushing and digging is great. The near -kookiness of it was refreshing and both funny and unnerving. The reveal happening half way through and the combination of magic and con artist was realized beautifully. It might be the best movie I've seen this year. The real overrated film from this year was the amateur

Like most horror movies, it's good until they actually start explaining things

>>214514587
think there were 4 jumpscares overall. super lazy shit but other than that i liked the film.
>>214514777
>they were well done
every single one was obvious what was coming, how is that well done?

>>214520148
Right the movie is called fucking weapons and they cannot fathom why an assault rifle makes an appearance

>>214512809 (OP)
Evil cancer witch is evil because she's evil.
Cops are unrealistically stupid and never thought to ask 'what direction were the kids running?'
FBI doesn't take over and solve this in a week because it would be the biggest story in the country.
No one notices that the one weird kid who didn't disappear has bought 20 cans of soup a day or that his parents stopped showing up at work.
Multiple perspectives didn't really add anything except for the cop and junkie.
Lighting is too dark in many scenes.
6/10. I didn't hate it, but it was overhyped.

>>214513888
not the original poster but the volume of children taken by the vvitch was pretty indulgent. 17 is an entire cohort. A few kids go missing of course the police don't care, but 17??

>>214529676
It is about the current socio-political climate though, but I wouldn't call it an allegory and it's not hitting you over the head with it's message.

>>214530799
but it's a le hecking comment on how the hecking community and police and society don't care about the kids and are apathetic towards tragedy, chuddy

>>214513654
i don't remember kids doing the naruto run while chasing the witch, why didn't they do it?

>>214531214
>director: "its not about that"
>retard: "it's about that"

>>214529032
I think Sinners is overrated but it's at least sort of justified compared to everything that's come out this year.
Weapons is just super mid.

>>214512809 (OP)
Pretty awful. It was less a horror movie and more of a comedy. I enjoyed Barbarian more.

Who the hell falls asleep in the middle of nowhere with their car door unlocked. That took me out of the whole movie

>>214513376
The director obviously hasn't interacted with actual police detectives. There's no way they would have let Alex's parents go after searching that basement. There would have been some DNA left behind and they would have turned that whole house inside out and found the kids. The movies entire plot hinges on everyone being incompetent.