Thread 214652258

Post your funny, cute or awkward experiences

I met Ryan Gosling in the supermarket once.

>>214652308
Tell me more, anon

>>214652308
How did that go? Was he cool?

>>214652258 (OP)
I met Jennier Lopez as a casino in vegas once. I tried to talk to her but she said "fuck off I'm playing"
and I don't know if it counts as a celebrity but I saw Jeff Dunham in the bathroom before a show. Literally no one cared that he was just pissing before the show with the rest of us but he put on that walter voice and was like
>how bout a courtesy flush in there?
before leaving
his show wasn't very funny, focused too much on his recent divorce and every single puppet had to comment on it making it just that much more awkward

I bumped into Emma Watson once and I felt her cock press against me

>>214652258 (OP)
I met Bill Cosby at a bar once.

I met Keanu Reeves while he was doing the Matrix in Sydney he was a really nice guy, brought drinks all night but only drank water himself. He seemed to enjoy seeing people happy. The woman that played Trinity was there and she got shitfaced wasted and I think she brought some coke because she would disappear and come back wide awake. This was in Kings Cross. I used to buy coke off the street dealers and they would have capsules in their mouths wrapped in condoms so they could swallow them if the cops got involved. $70 for maybe 2 lines

>>214652258 (OP)
I met Emma Myers once at a anime con I was cosplaying as Erin from AoT she wasnt cosplaying but went as herself. We hit it off well and she invited me back to her luxury hotel. Then we had 8hrs of passionate sex while I stroke her hair and her telling how big my brown cock feels inside her

>>214652258 (OP)
Didn't really meet, just walked by.

I was an extra on the set of one of the scenes for the Bob Dylan film and at one point the entire extra cast of 200 people went on break, most went the right way, but some went the wrong way around the back of the stage. I walked right by Dakota Fanning and she looked mad that I existed at all. didn't look at me, just past me, and angry as hell. good times.

>>214652258 (OP)
I am a celebrity though

>>214653960
Have you ever met yourself

I met quite a few at my local store, they were all assholes

>>214652258 (OP)
did he died?

>>214653501
can´t remember the rest?

>>214653505
>$70 for maybe 2 lines
That's insane...

>>214652258 (OP)
i smoked weed with amanda bynes and she destroyed the interior of my car and called me a pussy
i met rob schneider and he almost accidently kicked me with ski boots on, he was funny
uhh
theres more i forget right now

>>214653760
>I walked right by Dakota Fanning and she looked mad that I existed at all. didn't look at me, just past me, and angry as hell. good times.
You meant Elle Fanning, right? Or was Dakota visiting her sister on set? I've heard Elle can be a bit of an asshole on set before.
>>214654083
Drop some names!

i regularly see hunter schafer in new york just walking about or eating somewhere

solid feet game

>>214652258 (OP)
One of the original star trek actors (not kirk or spock) was eating in the same restaurant as my family and I. When people noticed they started taking pictures and he just kept his head down and politely but quickly left. I think he was eating by himself (sad) lol.

>>214652258 (OP)
I met Chief Halftown when I was in elementary school

>>214654358
Do you have any idea how lucky you are?

>>214654477
it's manhattan, people walk by celebs all the time, it's just that some like hunter don't even try to disguise themselvesso it's easy to notice

>>214654522
oh he tries but it's just useless

>>214654522
I am in love with Hunter. I don't even live on the same continent as her. Being able to just walk by someone like that by chance is unimaginable for me.

>>214652258 (OP)
I met Aiden Gillian years ago but it was before baneposting was mainstream so I didn't ask him about big guys.

>>214652258 (OP)
i met The Snood one time at a harry potter convention, she was very wholesome and smelled really nice, she even gave me her number! here's a picture we took together :)

>>214652258 (OP)
she's turning into a butch dyke
what hellscape did she experience when she was a child?
that name change tells me her father raped her

>>214654857
he's ashamed of it

>>214654881
>>214654868
how much do they charge for a single pic? has to be a let weirdos who jerk off to her touch her

>>214652258 (OP)
I carded Tim Robbins for buying beer at a grocery store. He was upset, asked "are you serious?" But it was our store policy. I told him my manager would kick my ass. He pulled out his driver's license. Said Tim Robbins n shit. He was dressed like a deadbeat dad and seemed generally miserable. I'm just glad I played it cool and didn't sperg out about Jacob's Ladder. I have a couple more celebrity stories if anyone's interested.

Me meeting Anthony Hopkins with my parents as a kid. I was too young to know who he was, but I thought he was just a random friendly friend. He got on the elevator with us, and from what I remember he was really nice.

>>214654975
Go on

>>214652563
>>214652815
I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
It's a long story i get ptsd telling it

Kathryn Newton seems pretty chill

>>214655156
David Letterman came in, this was around the time his big beard was freshly grown so I didn't even recognize him. But this mentally retarded kid who was working as a bagger was apparently obsessed with him, and yelled out DAAAAVID LETTERMAN????? Dave was chill as fuck about it, just came in for a couple things in the express lane, but he talked to the kid for a minute, said he was glad he was a fan. The kid was like I LOOOOVE YOU, YOUR SHOW IS THE BEST! And Dave was just a total gentleman about it, smiling and laughing awkwardly while this guy screamed back at us, "David Letterman!" I don't remember any specifics from their convo, but this kid was apparently an afficionado of the show. He talked about the time David Letterman came in to the store for months afterward. Dave was wearing a hoodie and looked like a random old rich guy trying to look not rich.

>>214654975
I saw him walking around the French Quarter circa 2010. He was with a VERY young woman who was NOT his wife or daughter :)

>>214652258 (OP)
i met linus sebastian kinda

I was at disneyland in line for the goofy flight school line and some guy in the line said "hey I like your videos, thanks for showing me how to build a PC" and I looked over at who he was talking to and loe and behold it was fuckin linus. I was pretty drunk cause I had like 5 beers already and I was like "OMG ARE YOU LINUS TEP TIPS?" and he just kind of cringed and shushed me then turned around. not my finest moment but hey it counts

>>214655306
He seems like the kind of guy who just wants to fuck and hates having a super recognizable face. He's also like 7 feet tall so he can't hide anywhere

>>214654348
>>214653760
the fanning sisters are fucking miserable cunt whores and probably hate the sight of any male that isn't 1. a nigger 2. their drug dealer

>>214655322
you should have knocked his bitch ass out for being a racist hard R user

>>214655555
i never really gave a fuck about him until i saw him in person, then i discovered the memes about him. also i feel i'd get kicked out of disneyland for even saying "the hard r"

>>214652258 (OP)
I saw Nathan Fielder at a movie theater in LA, right after I saw "First Reformed." His clothes were very stylish/Hollywood. His girlfriend went to the bathroom and he was waiting for her for a while; me and my friends were tempted to say hi but he was facing the wall with his back to everyone and clearly didn't want to be recognized.

Ca 2006. I’d traveled from Sweden to New York on a vacation with my then gf. She wanted to go clubbing and since she was a classic BPD jealous type when she went to the bathroom I sat down at a table and stared down into my beer/some shitty Nokia mobile phone game to avoid drama. All of a sudden I hear a sultry voice beside me “Hey you! you look interesting!” And I instantly went “Fuck off!”. My gf joins me and asks me to buy her a drink so I go to the bar.
There I see Scarlett Johansson standing there with her gang and the way the women looked at me (and her not looking at me), I realised it was her I just had told to fuck off. I wanted to sink through the fucking floor and went back to my gf and said I wanted to leave immediately, something about “bad karma” and for once she agreed.

>>214652995
>Jeff Dunham
he's one of those massive egotistical hyper-cunts irl from every interaction i've heard.

>>214654333
Drugs in Aus are expensive as, mate.

I was friends with that actor kid Johnathan Brandis who got molested by rodney dangerfield and was on an underwater spaceship show in the 90s
we both killed ourselves on the same day

>>214652258 (OP)

I met Paul Thomas Anderson the night Inherent Vice came out. He was friendly and seemed chill. I got a pic with him.

>>214655805
>we both killed ourselves that day

Then who posted this?

>>214656026
A g-g-g-ghost!

>>214652258 (OP)
I met Kevin Nash in a dark ally in the torrid summer of '92
My lawyer advised me not to disclose details of said encounter

Met Elliott Gould while I was working at a gelato store. I told him to take his shylock nose out of my store

>>214652258 (OP)
I come across Chris Hemsworth at the supermarket, walking around town, surf lineup, etc. like every 2 weeks. He's just a dude hanging out with his kids and I always found it cringe to pester celebrities in public, but I did almost drop in on his wave once

My cousin went to rehab with Chris Farley

>>214652995
What was she playing?

>>214655265
nothing makes me like actresses more than them just being chill

>>214652258 (OP)
I met Anna Kendrick at a CVS.

>>214656061
BASED
>>214656083
BASED
>>214656328
BASED

>>214655770
That's your own fault for your country being in the asshole of nowhere.

>>214655399
Dakota was definitely raped continuously by producers and agents from I Am Sam to at least The Runaways, so I think she gets a pass to be a bitch. Elle is the unfortunate consequence of being the less prostituted and thus less valued child.

>>214654857
I met him once and he was very pleasant, despite me being drunk. Saw him in a pub a few years later but I left him alone.

Todd Hanson (the voice actor for Dan Halen) is a family friend, he's a very chill dude

I used to visit my uncle in Atlanta and I'd sometimes see Walking Dead actors there. The Maggie actress was insanely beautiful. I also saw Rick and Shane. Never met them though.

>>214653760
>and she looked mad that I existed at all
She didn't even register your pleb fucking ass

>>214652258 (OP)
I once was in the same elevator as Victoria Justice. I got off on the floor before her but farted in the elevator before the doors closed. That was five years ago. Being trapped, I'd like to think she still remembers my stench.

>>214652258 (OP)
I never met one exactly as I live in a small canadian mountain town of like 20k people but i stood next in line at an airport in florida with a famous nascar driver, i worked at a hotel that had famous internet political influencers come by which was surreal because its a random small town in canada off the main highway so its not even an in between destination. And i saw a geopolitical analyst who makes youtube videos who is somewhat of a celebrity among american boomers and he was waiting for his plane at the kelowna airport.

Thats it.

>>214656578
>a geopolitical analyst who makes youtube videos
Peter Zeihan?

I've met a lot of well known politicians. They were all unpleasant and fake. If you think they seem dumb on TV they're definitely dumber in real life. Both parties.

I've met most every celebrity that starred in the film "Big Fish" back during filming in 2002-3 (because I was paid to be in two scenes, too). Nothing remarkable, but, I'll give you my two "stories" involving two of them:

1. Danny DeVito
Was always angry and frustrated with us. Although, that's a given because we actively didn't pay attention to him (despite his role as circus leader) and it fit his character, so it's hard to say he wasn't justified.

2. Director Tim Burton
Granted, I only interacted with him twice, my fun story with him is
>lunch break
>on-site was a literal forest near a river
>all on-site food and drink were in camping coolers
>everything was filled with soda
>I hate soda
>I looked in every cooler next to every tent I could find
>finally found a cooler that had something not-Pepsi
>bring back a purple Gatorade to my friends at the camp
>"Where did you find that?"
>"Oh, it was in a cooler behind that tent over there. Filled with Gatorade, but it was just this color."
>they went to get their own
>came back empty-handed
>"Anon, you idiot. It had Tim Burton's name written all over it."
No one "found out" and no one got in trouble or upset, but that's my "Big Fish" story -- I stole Tim Burton's Gatorade back in 2002!

>dad said what's up to Mark Anthony at a christmas thing at rockerfeller center
>met Neil Degrasse Tyson and he shook my hand, motherfucker is huge
>saw Rudy Guiliani and Trump at two separate yankee games when I was younger
>Javier Bardem walked into the store my ex worked at, he was really nice and left after a little bit
>played with a key magnet thing with Samir from Office Space when i worked at urban outfitters, he got annoyed when I asked him if i knew him from somewhere
>at the same store I helped Anna Sophia Robb twice, her dog jumped on me the first time she was cool and quiet, also briefly helped some dude from Mad Men but never watched the show so don't know what character he played.
>krysten ritter used to go to that store all the time too, apparently she was a bitch. saw her only once
>saw chloe sevigny two seperate times, second time we made eye contact and she knew i recognized her lol
>saw louis ck at another store i worked at, we made eye contact and he probably thought i was gonna say something to him but i didn't really give a shit
>saw gavin mcguiness walking down the street and made eye contact with him, he probably thought i was a faggot lefty
>head nodded at Action Bronson, he was in an SUV and i just happened to be looking his direction that was pretty funny
>saw Rick Ross high out of his fucking gourd at some random restaurant in brooklyn, had a guido bodyguard with him.
>carrie anne moss came into our store with her family, helped her briefly but she seemed to like my coworker way more than me. i didn't even say much to her lol but her husband was cool. he told me they were in new york because of her work and i was like oh yeah right
>last famous person i had a brief interaction with was Steph Curry. He was at my job and said what's up to me
celebrities are gay they're just normal people

I met Joe Pantoliano in the VIP section of a music festival down in Florida back in May. I didn't even recognize him at first because he was wearing a disguise and dressed like a literal 90 year old woman with a geriatric wig and everything.
We were bullshitting and waiting for the next band to start; and we somehow started doing an improv thing of wop mobsters or whatever, but he mentioned something about "ignorance is bliss". My head exploded when I realized who he was, and I asked him to do the "she was a hooah scene, but he got pissed and didn't want me to blow his cover.

>>214656736
Nice.
You should try stealing his Monica Bellucci now, too

>>214652258 (OP)
When I was a kid I used the urinal next to Alton Brown
I loved good eats but I didnt notice it was him until I came out and my dads jaw was on the floor

>>214655749
haha stupid ass nord.

>>214654522
Hunter lives in his disguise

>>214655322
I lived in the same neighborhood as Gamer Nexus and he would always play loud fucking rock music in his garage that I could feel through my walls down the street

Me and Patrick Gorman circa 2017

Oh, you know. The usual

>>214656495
Ha, used to be Facebook friends with him, is he still a depressed piece of shit?

>>214652258 (OP)
the usual milky way and electrical infetterence stuff

>>214654975
Not surprisingly, also a huge whiny lib

>>214655266
he was on TV this week crying about fascism b/c of Kimmel. pussy ass lib multimillionaire who wants the rest to suffer.

>>214652815
He beat the shit out of me

>>214654975
>I'm just glad I played it cool
Gaaay
Should've spergd instead bc at least you'd have a story to tell instead of instead of that gay shit.
You'd have also them gave him a story to tell

>>214655749
Ouch tough break, bro.
Around the same time I unwittingly turned down Elisha Cuthbert, she had on glasses, hair pulled back, and wearing overalls with paint on them so thought nothing of rejecting her until later I found out who she was and by that time it was too late

>>214656578
Just drop names ya fag, no one cares the internet police wont come for u

>>214655265
She's a pretty cool girl desu

>>214655265
gary newman lookin ass

>>214656736
kek, good anecdote

>>214656578
>>214656578
>small Canadian town population of 20k
Bitch. Small in Canada is like less than 200. Big city boy over here calling 20k small. Canmore?

>The Long Walk had some scenes filmed in my hometown
>get cast as an extra for a scene with Mark Hamill
>day comes and he shows up
>asks how everyone is doing
>bunch of normies make Star Wars references at him
>I flash the Russian Z at him to try and trigger him
>he never acknowledges it

Fuck you Mark Hamill.

Hunter S Thompson's nephew called me a faggot because I was playing bass with a pick

>>214658422
he's not wrong

>>214655265
i like that she plays golf
a constructive and healthy hobby

I was at a comedy show in LA back early 2000s. I can't remember that name of the club. Anyway, two opening acts did there thing and I went outside for a smoke. Didn't have a lighter, so I had to ask a woman that was outside for one. Turned out it was Janeane Garofalo. Crazy. I started chatting her up acting like I didn't know who she was and had her laughing. She invited me backstage. We went to the greenroom and she gave me a handjob on the couch.

>>214652258 (OP)
My mom lives in an aburdly rich area in Nashville. My little brother (almost 20 years younger) is friends with the kids of some turbo richfags. I picked him up spent like 15 minutes talking to some country singer about nothing

>>214655805
Shit, I would have sucked Johnathan Brandis' pubescent balls dry if I were around back then.

>>214656995
Who's the beaner?

>>214652258 (OP)
I met some football players and baseball players. I’m not a sports ball fan though so I couldn’t say who they were. I just knew they were famous because friends or family pointed them and asked for autographs. I just shook their hand and said hello.

>>214652258 (OP)
Yeah but my mom had a much better one. Back in the 90s my mom was at some convention bullshit for work (she was a researcher for P&G) and forever reason bill nye was there and tried to hit on her. She laughed him off and he was assmad about it for the rest of the weekend since he tried to pick her up basically first thing

>>214658522
>She invited me backstage. We went to the greenroom and she gave me a handjob on the couch.
Most believable part of that story

Does speaking in front of congressmem count? I was advocating against lobbying and they booed me off stage.

>>214655265
Actress actually being present and playful in a few of these just makes me aware of how fucking awkward they normally are.
>>214654881
Like if I had a pic like this of myself I’d burn it. Who wants to look at some celeb barely holding in their disgust unless it’s some weird fetish thing.

Nicholas Cage ate at a restaurant I served at a few times. He had an asian family with him (I assume his own?) and he never ate a bite of food. He did however drink like 6 bottles of Pellegrino.

>>214656522
Look, I'm sorry Scarlett can we please move past this??

>>214658522
I bet she gives the most disinterested handjobs. I’m gonna cooooooom.

>>214659018
Oh I also went to elementary school with a widely known pornstar

saw nicole kidman take a fat shit behind the dumpsters in an alleyway late at night in sydney one time, i didnt want to bother her so i just kept walking

I work in a store and once I helped famous (in my country) comedian. His daugther did something stupid and he did a stand up about the situation that occured and I was in it. He described me as a woman and I am man but at that time I had long hair. That's all I only found out about it because a friend from work send me a video of the stand up and he said it was similar to the situation i described to him few weeks back

>>214657071
>infetterence
Is that even a word?

I met James May a while ago and he's more autistic than I expected. I'm a bit of an autist myself too, but talking at length about things like chassis numbers and ship engines was really easy with him so it was pretty cool. Overall he was really nice.

>>214658422
I hope you told him to take a flying fuck anon.

>>214659018
I use to play wow with Nicholas Cage in 2008. Didn't figure out till he ended up quitting

>>214659089
I want to talk to him about model trains

>Eddie Murphy
He was in a shopping mall in LA and all I came up with was "hey man" and he gave a big smile and said "hey" as well.
>Danny Elfman
Saw him at a restaurant and waved at him, he waved back but looked puzzled about who I was/if he might know me.

>>214659128
I hope you get the chance to, I was pretty much shaking when I met him and started chatting with him. He's really nice but again, definitely an autist, so some social cues were a little off but not in a bad way or anything, he's just exactly how he comes off as in Top Gear. I'm hoping I'll meet him again at some point.

>>214659141
>Eddie Murphy
What year? My dad met him at pretty much the height of his career because he knew his brother and said he was a massive asshole until his career tanked

>>214659206
2019, long after this peak.

I met this guy from Mandy at a Subway once.

>>214659170
I'd also like to talk to Hammond about PICKUP TRUGGS but I have a feeling he's only interested in the crazy ones like the Raptor

I've probably met a lot more famous people than I realize. Like I'd probably recognize George Clooney or Anya Taylor-Joy but with Mel Gibson I'd already just assume that he's some random old man. And Mel Gibson is a lot more famous and recognizable than anyone in the movie that I just saw.

I've been at the same table with one of the most famous punk singers in the country and I just wondered why my friend talks to that random drunk like they know each other and then I heard his name and was like "oh" and then he took us to his place to drink vodka and listen to new demos.

I've also interviewed some locally famous directors and authors but you wouldn't know them and I couldn't get anything interesting out of them anyway.

>>214659364
He's been known to go for basically anything American and had a pretty small Dodge in the US Special, so he'd probably discuss them.

>>214659402
Honestly, same. I don't give a shit about sports but have family members that do and have connections, so I've met some infamous sports stars and even got stuff signed when I was a kid, but I still have no clue who they were and don't even know where all that signed shit is anymore. Same sorta thing with some TV stars too, I've somehow met a few from soap operas but I don't know their names, I just recognise them from the glimpses I would see on TV through the day.

>>214659402
I drunkenly ranted about females with a B list actor who I will not name while he was going through a divorce. Someone asked if I knew I was talking to and I told him I didn't give a shit the man needed to complain about foids and I am always game

>>214659585
Based

About a decade ago I met Lizzy Caplan. It took all my willpower not to honk her breasts.

Oh yeah I've also been asked if "I'm the guy who the girls told to beat up" by a guy who I realized was some sort of famous neonazi but I had no idea what he actually does for a living so I asked him and turned out he's a tv and radio host. Then he fingered a girl and did lines while I spanked another girl.

Only later realized that he's actually been convicted of beating random people up several times lol.

>>214659585
It was either James Marsden or Casper Van Dien wasn’t it?

>>214658576
Your mom had pregnancies with 20+ years between them?

>>214660024
Almost is the operative word but 19 years between my older brother and my younger brother yea

>>214659941
What a bizarre shot in the dark. Close time period though

Met a couple when I was a teenager working in a a strow on London Jason Isaacs, John cheese, a couple of others I've really forgotten. I met that bird who played Roz in game of thrones, it was just before the series came out. She was modelling lingerie so I saw her tits. Very moody until I played black on back as a song during the shoot. But I reckon this was the time she was getting fucked by Marlin Manson so not a hammy camper. Found she had divorced her goth husband who was a tiny skinny goth guy. And the reason was she found him getting his cock sucked by another guy.
Went to school with Idris elba for a couple of years ( yes I'm in my 50s) surprised he did so well, considering where he came from. The dude was always tall. He came to our school mid year and looked like a fucking adult.

When I was in high school a close female friend had her arm broken by Shaq. She was pretty good and won some contest bullshit and it was some 1v1 thing. She scored a point with a cheeky layup and when he did a layup on her she fell and broke her hand lol. He bailed QUICK after that

>>214652258 (OP)
I dated Morfydd Clark for more than a year, though I don't know if she fits the category of a celebrity.

>>214656495
The Onion guy?

I met Chris watts at an oil field convention

>>214654975
It really was your store policy to card people in their 50s and 60s and everyone?? What state?

>>214652258 (OP)
I met Kevin Nash in the summer of 92, he didn't really want to talk, and was walking funny, must've injured his back wrestling.

>>214657101
If you were an American you would understand that our free speech is at stake. We won't be able to post here if Trump decides he doesn't like being criticized by us. That's not how America works.

>>214660465
three words
>Alex Jones lawsuit

I had a burger at this very A&W

>>214660428
Maybe once a year I get carded, and I look like the fucking Cryptkeeper. I don't know if they think I'm actually wearing ghoul makeup, or maybe they got busted by the cops recently so they card literally everyone in case they're narcs.

>>214660503
>REEEE doesn't count DOESN'T COUNT

>>214654358
Is he a chill dude?

>>214660439
On a stormy day, you can hear the wind whistling between Kevin's mouth and anus. It's a haunting, plaintive sound, and with a little imagination, it almost sounds like
>NOOOOOO

>>214660528
Was the transsexual prostitute with AIDS there? Was xe still wearing an AIDS mask to keep you from getting AIDS from xer diseased AIDSmouth?

Only saw a local b-list pornstar on the opposite subway escalator. Must've stared a tenth of a second too long and she made that exact face

>>214653505
What a missed opportunity to not try to rail Trinity on coke.

>>214660428
It’s Ralph’s. Their policy is to check ID for EVERY alcohol purchase.

>>214660761
Fuck I miss this whore

>>214660744
that's a girl

>>214659086
newfriend

>>214654067
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me.

>>214652258 (OP)
I met Toadie from Neighbours.
He is exactly the same as Toadie from neighbours.

>>214660752
Hot.

Once read the story of a girl who did Eastern European whipping films and got recognized at a London bookstore and they just looked at each other without saying anything realizing that they both knew what the other's into.

I run a grocery store in a semi-popular vacation spot in Norway.
So I meet a lot of norwegian celebreties.
If anyone is interested, Nadia Hassanoui and Kim Haugen are really nice people.
Jon Øigaarden too, he's a really cool dude. My sisters' mother in law had a big "ohmygod a famous person!" Moment in front of him.
Had Alexandra Joner in the store once, and she behaved like she was on the moon and couldn't believe people actually lived more than 30 minutes away from Oslo.

>>214660752
Kek I have done the same thing but made a disgusted look the second I realized who she was. She looked straight down and looked she she was going to cry from the shame of it

i gang raped a big blonde pro wrestler about 3 decades ago, he put up a bit of a fight but we got our nut in the end

I was working security at some charity galla and in order to get to the bathroom you had to pass my little station.

Emma Watson went and took a piss then came out and chatted with me, I knew who she was but I hate Harry Potter so i wasn't starstruck.

She seemed really on edge for lack of a better term, like she was talking fast and wiping sweat off her forehead, we struck up a conversation and she mentioned that she gets anxious at these events.

Anyway we ended up chatting for a good long while and I even let her hold my gun, eventually she sat on my lap, we kissed, and I ended up eating her pussy in the bathroom as she held my (unloaded) gun to my head, she had a great time apparently she even filmed a little bit on her cellphone of her saying shit like "you better make me cum" whole pressing the gun to the top of my head.

I was staying calm but I was ready to cum in my pants from the excitement of all the things i was gonna do to her like I really wanted to turn her around and eat her asshole and fuck her brains out but after she finished she just adjusted herself and said she had to go, she rushed out of there and left me on my knees in the bathroom with pussyjuice all over my face.

To this day I have no idea what it was all about, I don't do drugs so idk if she was maybe on something but it was pretty fucking crazy, I only ever told my best friend cause I know not a single fucking person will believe me.

I spent several minutes outside a Canadian nightclub talking to Carley Ray Jepsons hot older sister. I had no idea who she was until afterwards. If I had known I would have mentioned that “call me maybe” once got me laid at a UBC grad party

>>214652258 (OP)

Ben Affleck is my best friend.

>>214661263
lol fuck off casey

>>214660582
How old are you?

>>214653960
Me too

>>214654391
Wesley crusher

>>214661162
>I know not a single fucking person will believe me
I believe you, anon.

>>214661448
How old do you think the Cryptkeeper is? He looks like the average white woman over 25 without makeup, which is still legal.

>>214657948
I would kms

>>214659919
Dcjixopostomg

>>214652258 (OP)
I met Billie Eilish. She was sitting on a bench half zoned out from the Xanax she said she took. I asked if I could titty fuck her. She rolled her half asleep eyes and said “yeah, fine whatever” She laughed as soon her gigantic wrecking balls made my dong disappear and laughed even harder when I couldn’t even last 30 seconds. I ran crying with my pants still down at my ankles all the way home and my mom made me nuggies

I fucked Jennifer Love Hewitt when she was 16. KY here and I know she remembers it because I made her cum thirty times before I got my nut off in her teenage pussy.. honestly, shit was cash but because she cried apart the whole way through. I was 19 and horny af all the time with my big dick. she found out I had fucked a couple of other girls she was related to and had to find out for herself.. she was definitely going through something though but I never found it what it was. We met at a party and we fucked. I absolutely knew who she was even though she wasn't super famous yet. My annoying neighbor kid introduced us. Oh, she had a landing strip too, btw, at the age of sixteen! I've told this story meet before but it was a long ass time ago

>>214660752
KEK amazing thread.
>>214661162
I believe you too anon

>>214661162
I’m not crying you’re crying

>>214655265
Wow you could literally smell her pits from there

Ryan Reynolds came to visit my high school theatre group about 8 years ago to talk about finding your confidence and how to navigate rejection in the industry so you can keep chasing your dreams and what not. I guess he used to know our teacher or something idk.
Anyways me and 5-6 other guys got invited back to his hotell room to have some wine and talk about acting and such. It was cool, he was really nice and funny and charming and told us all about Blake's amazing chest and how he creampied her pink little pussy every single day. He paid for our dinner and gave us all comemorative t-shirts and we drank like 9 bottles of Johnnie Walker red lable.
He took me aside and gave me some blue pills, which made me feel real funny. I fell asleep and when I woke up I realised my butt hurt a lot and I could feel someone moving on top of me. I realised ot was Mr. Reynolds and that he was having sex with my butthole. I could smell the fact that I had pooped myself but he didn't seem to mind. I could see my friend Steven's decapitaded head next to me in bed. I was really scared and I eventually passed out again after 5-6 painfull minutes. When I woke up again he was cleaning me off in the shower. He calmed me down and told me what me and him had shared was real magical to him, and he made me swear not to tell my teacher else he might get jealous.
It was really scary, but all in all I would still say it was better than when Jennifer Aniston came to talk to us.

>>214662469
Did Jennifer Anniston also decapitate Steven?

>>214662493
No, but what she did to him was very rude.

>>214655322
kek he is pretty funny but i watched him like when i was 13 (early 2000s) when it was still NCIX tech tips

Im autistic so im bad at recognizing people

>>214655322
Oh right I think I saw him when he was making video about shopping in Malaysia

I met Jackie Chan one time. He was pretty cool.

There is this park in the city i live in. Sometimes i go into the bushes to masturbate there. One day out of nowhere Tom Cruise caught me by accident ( i guess, i hope). As i noticed him he acted like he didnt notice me. Thats when i made this photo.

>>214658522
>chatting her up
americunts don't use this phrase ever

>>214662885
But he's right?

>>214662469
>my friend Steven's decapitaded head
did he died?

>>214652258 (OP)
I worked at a semi-famous restaurant in New Jersey and met quite a few football players and other sports stars. I had the Pussycat Dolls once as well, they were fugly in person kek. Catherine Zeta Jones as well, however you spell her name, now she was a stunner in person. Obviously never talked to them about philosophy or shit... just exchanged pleasantries and moved on. No one was rude or full lf themselves except one black basketball player whose name I don't remember. He wasn't a huge name, but I don't follow that sport anyway. He was shouting and berating the servers to being his food out immediately it, didn't they know who he is, etc. Very unpleasant person.

>>214662983
Sorry about typos, but I'm half asleep

>>214662979
Mr. Reynolds sewed it back on, he told me he was going to be fine but idk. I'm not a doctor, I just dance.

>>214662983
>Didn't they know who he is
I honestly dont know how Americans do it. there's basketball, handegg, baseball, ice hockey, college sports, soccer, how do you even keep yourself updated with athletes from all those sports, especially if they're black

>>214662948
My dear sweet redditor