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Thread 215178694

111 posts 26 images /tv/
Anonymous No.215178694 >>215178715 >>215178734 >>215178800 >>215178971 >>215179344 >>215180015 >>215180029 >>215180092 >>215180281 >>215182325 >>215185083 >>215185790 >>215185821 >>215188029 >>215188041 >>215188317 >>215188404 >>215188628 >>215189179 >>215189299 >>215191977
Prison Depiction
Is it really like this in jail? Like, everyone has a hidden knife, etc
Anonymous No.215178715
>>215178694 (OP)
according to joker folly of a dude there's just some beatings and rape
Anonymous No.215178734 >>215189074
>>215178694 (OP)
CAUSE IM A PEDO ROCKER YES I AM
Anonymous No.215178800 >>215178915 >>215178974 >>215178987 >>215179199 >>215179201 >>215179318 >>215179998 >>215180122 >>215180281 >>215184439 >>215185137 >>215188663 >>215189269
>>215178694 (OP)
Not really. I did 4 years in a medium security private prison, ask me anything
Anonymous No.215178915 >>215179202
>>215178800
What was your living quarters like? Did you have to share the space?
Anonymous No.215178962 >>215179033 >>215180808 >>215189392
What if a Shot Callerβ„’ asks (You) to put in work?
Anonymous No.215178971 >>215180053
>>215178694 (OP)
Does getting stabbed to death hurt?
Anonymous No.215178974 >>215179202
>>215178800
what are the dos and donts of being in prison in your opinion?
Anonymous No.215178987 >>215179202 >>215180776
>>215178800
What was your crime?
Anonymous No.215179033 >>215181057
>>215178962
i look like this and say this
Anonymous No.215179154
Hoop those papers!!
Anonymous No.215179199
>>215178800
How crowded was it?
Anonymous No.215179201
>>215178800
Why are you black?
Anonymous No.215179202 >>215179768 >>215181217
>>215178915
Newish building, so semi-decent. Had multiple cellys.
>>215178974
Do: mind your own business, be respectful
Don't: get involved with gangs drugs gambling or debt
>>215178987
The fun ones
Anonynous No.215179318 >>215179768 >>215179977 >>215180003
>>215178800
Did you get a tablet in prison to rent movies and buy games?
Anonymous No.215179344
>>215178694 (OP)
This happened to me last time I was locked up
Anonymous No.215179768 >>215179977
>>215179318
I heard they even give accused murderers tablets now??? >>215179202
Did you get a phone or tablet or computer of any sort?
Anonymous No.215179977 >>215179993 >>215180185 >>215191977
>>215179318
>>215179768
Most prisons do tablets now, the one I was at gave them to us for free (under contract), and then you could pay a monthly fee for access to either games or music.
They took them from us after a few months because someone figured out how to break out of the ecosystem and access mainline internet.
This was many years ago, so I assume they're back.
Anonymous No.215179993 >>215180096
>>215179977
>They took them from us after a few months because someone figured out how to break out of the ecosystem and access mainline internet.
Did you play a lot of Chomping Chaz?

What games did you play on it?

Did you ever use the outside internet?
Anonymous No.215179998
>>215178800
my cousin did 5 in Colorado and only got bigger and scarier as a result
Anonymous No.215180003 >>215180024 >>215180257 >>215184096
>>215179318
At one point I did have a tablet that I could use to rent movies but my cellmate fucked me in the ass and stole it from me.
Anonymous No.215180015
>>215178694 (OP)
>that tattoo on the forehead
lmao "im here for the job interview"
Anonymous No.215180024
>>215180003
>my cellmate fucked me in the ass and stole it from me.
How bad was the assfucking?
Anonymous No.215180029
>>215178694 (OP)
Yeah, smearing ketchup packets on your chest is a popular hazing in jail.
Anonymous No.215180053
>>215178971
It feels like a very bad papercut
Anonymous No.215180092
>>215178694 (OP)
Honestly this part took me out
>B-but it's literally impossible to kill all those people all at once, Mr Meth!
>I DON'T CARE. JUST DO IT!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous No.215180096 >>215180113
>>215179993
>Did you ever use the outside internet?

I was never able to get on because I was assraped and my tablet got stolen before I could ask around about the exploit thing that people were using
Anonymous No.215180113 >>215180129 >>215180212 >>215184096
>>215180096
Did you really get assraped? How did you retaliate?
Anonymous No.215180122
>>215178800
Prove it.
Anonymous No.215180129
>>215180113
he pooped on his weiner
Anonymous No.215180185 >>215180237 >>215184909 >>215191977
>>215179977
>They took them from us after a few months because someone figured out how to break out of the ecosystem and access mainline internet.
Didnt happen. kys.
Anonymous No.215180212 >>215180257
>>215180113
While he was fucking my ass I started saying shit like "Yeah, fuck that ass, you bitch." This eventually confused him and he stopped.
Anonymous No.215180237
>>215180185
Not that anon, but I was in jail (not prison) and I knew a guy who said you used to be able to use the main internet by clicking the settings and clicking IP info or whatever. It didn't end up working, so it must have gotten patched.
Anonymous No.215180257 >>215184096
>>215180003
>>215180212
Are these the same anon? Are you being facetious? Did you not get raped at all, or do you find it difficult to talk about?
Anonymous No.215180281 >>215181704
>>215178694 (OP)
First lesson. JAIL IS NOT PRISON.

>>215178800
I have a canister of non dairy creamer, ramen, a honey bun, a bag of takis, random fruit haloween candy, skippy peanut butter, random mcdonalds condiments. What's your best idea for dinner?
Anonymous No.215180441 >>215180664
I spent time in county (drinking and driving way too much), none of the shit that happens on /tv/ - television & film happened that I could see. Most insane shit was a kid had to be shipped off because they fucked up where he was supposed to go (he heard voices and that's why he stabbed those people, he went to the psych hospital). I spent most of my time playing dominos and helping people pass whatever bullshit course they were taking or helping them with the GED.

I had a pretty good time, honestly, but I live in a part of the world where blacks and whites have to team up against the mexicoids more often than not except at the state pen. County is a bit more relaxed, for obvious reasons. I can't recall there ever being anyone in there for anything violent.
>allow me to regale you with the story about the inmate who shit himself to death
Anonynous No.215180664 >>215180838
>>215180441
>>allow me to regale you with the story about the inmate who shit himself to death
go on.
Anonymous No.215180776
>>215178987
Gang Rape
Anonymous No.215180808 >>215181057
>>215178962
I would tell him to fuck off! He has only been in prison like 6 months and now he is trying to tell everyone what to do? Fuck that! You're not my dad!
Anonymous No.215180838 >>215183714 >>215187926 >>215188453 >>215189134 >>215191425
>>215180664
Same thing that got Elvis.
>older man, 50s, really fat
>would always take these massive shits that stunk up the place (you get used to it...not)
>one night he's having a rougher time than normal
>next day he says he's backed up
>everyone says praise God
>that night he's trying harder than usual to take a shit
>moaning, groaning, whole nine yards
>huge roaring fart echos through the place, everyone tries not to laugh but laughs anyway and cheers him on because why not
>then all of a sudden there's silence
>his bunkmate starts screaming bloody murder for the key and medical
>they cart him out
>time passes, he doesn't come back
>eventually we ask what the fuck
>oh yeah, his heart basically exploded, coroner said it was the same thing that killed Elvis, strained so hard to pass a turd that his spirit left his body as soon as it did
And that's the story of the inmate who shit himself to death.
And that's the story of the inmate who shit himself to death.
Anonymous No.215180842 >>215181108 >>215188346 >>215189711
Anonymous No.215181057
>>215179033
Warrior
>>215180808
Victim
Anonymous No.215181108
>>215180842
He looks like he drinks monster energy.
Anonymous No.215181217 >>215181239
>>215179202
>Do: mind your own business, be respectful
>Don't: get involved with gangs drugs gambling or debt
Really? I heard you had to join a gang to get protection from other gangs, or is that just an American movie thing?
What about being someone's bitch? Do you have to fight back and show strenght if someone tries to fuck with you?
Anonymous No.215181239 >>215181249
>>215181217
NTA, but I heard it's not an issue these days with enough sissies giving it up for free.
Anonymous No.215181249
>>215181239
Hmm, interesting... I can see that.
Anonymous No.215181518 >>215190323
Mexicans got on boots
Anonymous No.215181704 >>215182161 >>215192609
>>215180281
Make a brick with the ramen, takis, condiments. Or we could make a doowop with the honey bun, peanut butter, and candy. I got the keefees coffee for us if you can throw in some of that creamer.
Anonymous No.215182161 >>215183735
>>215181704
Are any of those choices drugs or intoxicating?
Anonymous No.215182325
>>215178694 (OP)
What if instead of stabbing him quickly a lot they just stabbed him slowly once?
Anonymous No.215183714
>>215180838
You know. I am going to get myself a bottle of fiber pills and a basket full of vegetables right fucking now. His death won't be in vain.
Anonymous No.215183735
>>215182161
No.

Prison cusine is a thing. If theyre's anybody who knows how to turn random crap in your pantry into something semi edible it's them.

You're thinking of toilet line.
Anonymous No.215184096 >>215184460 >>215184633 >>215184648 >>215184808 >>215186776 >>215189057
>>215180257
>>215180113
>>215180003
Why are Americans obsessed with this? It's the first thing on their mind in any discussion about this topic
Even normalfags salivate at the thought of this
Anonymous No.215184380 >>215184483
Anonymous No.215184439 >>215184460
>>215178800
From what I've heard rape is basically non-existent these days because there are more than enough open homos willingly giving it up.
Is it true?
Anonymous No.215184460 >>215184633
>>215184096
>>215184439
See this shit?
Anonymous No.215184483
>>215184380
>SERPENTINE!
Anonymous No.215184633 >>215186776
>>215184096
>>215184460
I think its because thats about all we know about jail or prison are jokes about not dropping the soap and getting shanked. I don't know the origin of where this came into the zeitgeist but tv shows make jokes about that a lot when it comes to the topic.
Anonymous No.215184648
>>215184096
Great question, but I think we already know the answer.
Anonymous No.215184694
Anonymous No.215184756 >>215184960
never personally been in jail or prison but all the people I know that have said that if anyone offers you anything for free you don't accept it because its not actually free and you dont know what the cost is
Anonymous No.215184808
>>215184096
I don't know anon. People get so offended by the tiniest thing these days and go to bat for the tiniest alleged sleight, yet they're all apparently okay with this. As a society we have sentenced these people to certain punishments. That's what they should serve. Anything else is not fair. If you think punishments are too light then try to get it changed.

The masses are sadistic is the only conclusion I can come to. Why they used to call it "cruel and unusual" punishment historically is because of how people kept coming up with weird and perverse punishments for others, no doubt loving it all - and of course with some justification that they are bad people and deserved it. It's a sick world out there, and I say this unironically on 4chan.
Anonymous No.215184909
>>215180185
U could get the past safesearch by putting a link through Google translate spanish to english for literal years. U just had to click the translated link and boom anything. me and my friends were doing it in IT class in 2012, so im sure prisoners found out ways with all that free time
Anonymous No.215184960 >>215185049
>>215184756
Accepting anything for "free" from criminals is generally a bad idea.
Anonymous No.215185049
>>215184960
This is why the dont take drugs from strangers thing started, but it became meme'd because ofc. lots of cases of runaway girls or such taking thst one free hit then ending up really fucked (often literally) Think jodi in taxi driver but 5x worse
Anonymous No.215185083
>>215178694 (OP)
Inmates are pampered.They get tablets and personal TVs. They get free healthcare and dental.
The only hell they catch is from other inmates. Also they are ALL gay as fuck. Every last one of them sucks dick.
Anonymous No.215185137 >>215185593 >>215185844
>>215178800
Did you have your paperwork hooped
Anonymous No.215185593 >>215185625
>>215185137
I did initially but then I got assraped so hard that it got stuck and had to be surgically removed
Anonymous No.215185625
>>215185593
KWAB
Anonymous No.215185790 >>215187654
>>215178694 (OP)
prison is and isn't what they depict in TV
most prisons that are depicted in shows and movies are low to medium security where nothing much happens in reality
people don't just walk around with hidden knives, nor do they often brandish them at people they don't like because even a threat can add years to your sentence and especially a shiv, that's just asking for like 5 more years
but in max security there are metal detectors and round the clock supervision, even at night. There's not just some guy watching monitors to make sure nothing happens, boots on the ground walking the halls constantly
when someone gets shanked 100% of the time it's related to gang violence, drugs, or debts. It isn't just
>you looked at me wrong so I'm going to murder you
most people in max want out of max, not to stay there for life, so they're just trying to serve their sentence and get out
all the yard scenes usually have everyone segregated with their own groups and while that normally does happen just naturally, there are some who don't belong to gangs. A normal white guy isn't going to join the Aryan Brotherhood unless he needs protection for something he's done and even then they probably won't accept him
there's mixed work crews, mixed sports teams (yes there's sports in jail), even educational programs that are mixed so it isn't constant whites with whites blacks with blacks anyone that steps into the territory of another is immediately killed
your basic day to day activities are wake up, count, eat, work assignment, recreation, count again, lights out
count meaning headcount and it happens multiple times per day, taking stock of every prisoner. Stop whatever it is your doing work or otherwise and stand ready at your cell door to be counted
typically there's morning, midday, evening, and night
if you're not at your cell by count? everyone suffers as you're forced to stay in your cell until that prisoner is found, potentially missing yard time or work time
Anonymous No.215185821
>>215178694 (OP)
Theres different areas in the jail where life is drastically different from another area. For example if you end up in maximum security range you will be with people who are life time criminals on serious charges and they will make you feel like a bitch. Or you if you end up in minimum you will be around the common dumbass who committed some kind of crime and isn’t really full of hard body types.
Anonymous No.215185844
>>215185137
>always hoop your paperwork
>no it's not gay guards knew me by my asshole cause I kept that thing clean
Anonymous No.215186776
>>215184096
>>215184633
Even people from prison talk about it. See the Booty Warrior from the Boondocks. Or the reality TV version.
Anonymous No.215187654 >>215188399
>>215185790
man that sounds miserable
why do people even commit crimes
Anonymous No.215187888 >>215188012 >>215188504
Don't go to prison or this guy will bust your cheeks
Anonymous No.215187926 >>215193567
>>215180838
Elvis didn't die from straining to shit, he died of a drug overdose, he had 13 different drugs in his blood, go read the coroner's report.
Anonymous No.215188012
>>215187888
Kek
Anonymous No.215188029
>>215178694 (OP)
Shivs can be made out of damn near anything but it's not like everyone is carrying one at all times or anything
Honestly if someone wants to end you they can just as easily do it with their hands and feet. I've seen plenty of people get their life stomped out of them.
As long as you don't gamble or do drugs and mind your business you won't have a hard time.
Anonymous No.215188041 >>215188128
>>215178694 (OP)
Jail and prison are different.
Anonymous No.215188128
>>215188041
What about gaol?
Anonymous No.215188317
>>215178694 (OP)
No
Writers can literally just make up everything, wi ithout any care for if it's real or not
Anonymous No.215188346
>>215180842
manlet
Anonymous No.215188399
>>215187654
>why do people even commit crimes
They can't answer the question:
How would you feel if you didn't have breakfast?
Anonymous No.215188404
>>215178694 (OP)
Literally anything can be used to make your own shank, i did 5 years and everyone had one, same reason lots of people own guns its "just in case". I made mine by using a bic lighter and a bunch of plastic bags
Anonymous No.215188453
>>215180838
I'm gonna get the papers.
Get the papers.
Anonymous No.215188504
>>215187888
herc is a kino machine and the only watchable prison interview guy
Anonymous No.215188628 >>215189163
>>215178694 (OP)
Everyone has a penis and they can rape you.
Anonymous No.215188663
>>215178800
How many shots did you call?
Anonymous No.215189057 >>215189280 >>215189373
>>215184096
>Convince your population prison is nothing but guys penetrating eachother either with sharp objects or their penis.
>Population thinks twice about doing crime
Im sure this is a legitimate reason many people choose not to commit crime
Anonymous No.215189074
>>215178734
Megalulz
Anonymous No.215189134
>>215180838
At least the man farted.
I'm 90% sure I'll die in a similar way, but knowing that no one will realize I died for at least a couple of week, I'll probably shit out my rotten guts that some janny will have to scoop out of the toilet.
Anonymous No.215189163
>>215188628
Not all men have penises, btw.
Anonymous No.215189174
Everyone ITT will end up like the black buck in Shot Caller
Anonymous No.215189179
>>215178694 (OP)
The most memorable aspect of prison for me was the smell, something you just can’t really convey through film.
It’s just an all-pervasive smell of food, piss and shit, and body odor made even worse by stagnant air.
Anonymous No.215189269
>>215178800
What's your favourite position to receive anal?
Anonymous No.215189280
>>215189057
Doesn't work in Alabama.
Anonymous No.215189299 >>215189321
>>215178694 (OP)
Seems like movies and TV underrepresent the extent of nudity in jail/prison. It's even common in juvie
Anonymous No.215189319
Anonymous No.215189321
>>215189299
The amount of nudity in Oz was one of the best parts of the show. Other series need to take notes.
Fuck, that series is a timeless classic.
Anonymous No.215189373 >>215189945
>>215189057
Why wouldn't Americans want inmates? The private prison system needs its fodder
Anonymous No.215189392
>>215178962
a lannister always pays his debts
Anonymous No.215189711
>>215180842
DING DONG
BITCH TIME
Anonymous No.215189945
>>215189373
The private prison system accounts for 8% of the incarcerated population.
Anonymous No.215190246 >>215190505
Shot caller was the worst film I've ever seen
Anonymous No.215190323
>>215181518
CC?
Anonymous No.215190505
>>215190246
Get this lame away from me
Anonymous No.215191425
>>215180838
i'll take a fat dump in his honor
RIP in piece K I N G
Anonymous No.215191977 >>215192088
>>215178694 (OP)
>>215179977
>>215180185

BOP are filled with lazy niggers (Epstein isn't the first and won't be the last)
County Jails are filled with lazy niggers
also most people just buy or rent real phones that are droned in
but there are lazy developers who forget to disable the hyperlinks in their jail Inmate FAQs section on the Computers or Video Conference/Commissary so when you click on it it loads a browser with the Jail's website which has enough of a UI to navigate and use the Jail's social media hyperlinks at the bottom of the site to then access those.

there was no keyboard UI so if was fun but not practical. eventually niggers get caught and then they actually disable the hyperlinks
Anonymous No.215192088
>>215191977

also rape isn't a thing anymore because there's literal new laws that get you new charges as a sex crime instead of just "going to the SHU"

and there's plenty of fresh Traps that look like the mentally unstable one's on /b/ and everyone faps too, and the BOP cowers to their every concern...
Anonymous No.215192609
>>215181704
This is a way of checking anyone who claims to have committed a felony if they're bullshitting you or not. They will have memorized the cooking possibilities for their local commissary.
Anonymous No.215193567
>>215187926
Actually, no. The drugs made Elvis severely constipated and he had a bad heart anyway by that point. His heart gave out straining.