So…. This is how the last bastion of SOUL does at Nintendo? With shitty calarts emasculating onions-kong? Let’s get one thing straight: anyone who was ever a hardcore and actual fan of Donkey Kong HATES the new bananza collectible shit, it’s a slap in the face to all rare fans that is very intentional, much like the star wars sequels were meant to piss off older fans. but what’s even worse is the design based off of the fucking movie

>seth rogen kong
>forced nu-soul calarts style
>makes le funny epic hentai age gap reaction faces (may as well also have DK saying “chat is this real?”)
>diddy replaced, now instead we get forced 13 year old girl boss telling us what to do and what to onions out over
>feathers. he has fucking feathers. why?
>every character seen so far has extremely reductive dialogue that is aimed toward shaming you, the player, for liking what worked in the past and not liking what they’re forcing now

How is any of this shit acceptable? So we’re just letting one of the last unpozzed characters sell his soul for, what, $35 USD? Plus DLC? Even normoids agree that nu-kong is cringe, this year we will see everyone beg and cry for the Mario Mandate again, because what we didn’t know is that it actually had a purpose.

Now the mandate is over. And now all of these characters will suffer Flandersisation in the worst possible way until they’re just milk toast zoomer memes.

>>713536135 (OP)
Didn't read all that. The loli is cute, so I'm buying it

>>713536313
You are the reason why the game industry is so shit. :)

>>713536397
>prinipal
lmfao and just like that, this entire word salad is invalidated
some niqqa really took the time to write all that just to riffle it with spelling errors lmaoo

see, this is why nobody takes you tendies seriously. you sperg out over the most minute shit that is meant for kids, while acting that is actually super deep and mature and that you have to vehemently defend your nostalgia bait

>>713536313
So why did they gived him feathers if he’s a great ape? Genuinely asking

you dont even know what “death of the author” even means, do you?

>>713536349
I will support all loli games. I'm making the industry better.
>>713536695
Don't know, but I don't care that much about it either

>>713536939
>my brain is addled with porn addiction so I see vaguely feminine thing I buy regardless of gameplay

lol. You are the reason why the game industry is so shit. :)

>>713537174
>vaguely feminine thing
She's sexo as fuck. Also the gameplay looks fun

I'm-a not even gonna acknowledge this. Brap brap have a rotten day.

I not only love the Wokey Kong meme and how it blithely annoys everyone, but I love how OP hyphenated the name. Wokey-Kong. It’s like an 1800s novel title, like Moby-Dick. Wokey-Kong and the Fracas-In-The-Jungle.

Its always the same nonsense

Donkey Kong gets to fuck this?!

>>713536579
>heh, nice try but you made a typo...
You can't read English too well or something?

It is an objectively terrible redesign

>>713537392
You’re only saying it “looks fun” because you saw the little girl. guarantee if it was diddy, or a horrifically unattractive nigger, you would be slamming it and calling it woke.

>>713536135 (OP)
If you were a hardcore DK fan you would know Nintendo has been shitting on Donkey Kong ever since they took over Rare.

You retards fellate brawl donkey kong when he was already ruined by then

>>713536579
This and unironically.
People make shit up all the time. Why should I trust a person to have fact checked anything if they can't even check their own writing.

>>713536135 (OP)
You really were assblasted by Bananza direct lol
What a fucking idiot you are E**c

>>713536135 (OP)
Sorry this doesn’t appeal to your shitty standards, E.

>He's made another thread
Eric are you okay? What do you do for work? You've been doing this for probably over a decade now and you've dedicated every last waking hour ever since the Switch 2 Direct. Were you that scared of
another
EIGHT (8)
years
of Nintendo winning?

>>713538025
>muh Eric
>muh Jeremy
>muh Barry
>muh Dragonirian

>>713536873
Meds, E.

>>713536135 (OP)
>>713536579
didn't read shit.

pre-ordered 4 minutes into the Direct. Everyone knows Nintendo is the only one with actual GAMES.

>>713538273
Stay mad retard

>>713536135 (OP)
no one types like this
no one talks like this

>>713536135 (OP)
I refuse to believe grown men look at that OP pic and go
>hell yeah now that's a good game, can't wait to play it!

Bait use to-a be believable.

>>713537978
>B-but if she was black!
And she's isn't. Where's the woke? I'm seeing the cute but not the woke. I also bought the game way before they revealed Pauline. Because it looked fun.

>>713536135 (OP)
Terrible bait

>>713536135 (OP)
Yeah, this version of Konkey Dong feels very woke for my taste.
Also, isnt this game just 3d Mr. Driller?.

>>713536135 (OP)
>calarts
The style has nothing to do with it schizo.

>>713536135 (OP)
Dont forget to make a WHIIIIIIIRRRRRRRR noise as you squat on your mario dildo MR. Snoy

>>713536313
>>713537392
>>713538886
>pants
Ruined.

>>713536313
the CHAD nonreader
OP BTFO.

>>713536135 (OP)
They turned a cool ape into some goofy cartoon dog. I won't be buying it.

Why do Nintendo fanboys defend the indefensible?

>>713536135 (OP)
Capitalism has a built in failsafe for when slop comes out.

Its called not buying the game.

How is it woke exactly?

I think we should watch the cutscenes before we buy the game.
The cutscenes are always posted before the street date.

>>713540078
Why do we live rent-free in your head, E?

loli Pauline looks like a boy.

>>713536135 (OP)
Hell yeah now that's a good game, can't wait to play it!

>>713537774
Mario did and and then dumped her.

>>713536135 (OP)
Post a picture of your 108% Complete DKC2, performed on an original copy of the game on original hardware, or you are a faggot poser who has done just as much damage to the Kong brand as whatever you're mad about

>>713543947
Is he gay?

>>713536135 (OP)
>lets get one thing straight
Well at least we have that since you're such a massive faggot.

>>713536313
No, you are buying it because you are a rabid tendie who will suck the shit out of Nintendos asshole.

Slutty donkey tongue

>>713536313
BASED

>>713536135 (OP)
>a macaco talking shit about a great ape.
keep entertaining me.

>>713537978
>if it had woke elements you'd say it was woke
Thanks, big brain bro

>>713544281
No, he just wants the princess cash.

>>713544636
White people things

>>713536313
yjk

>>713536135 (OP)
>every character seen so far has extremely reductive dialogue that is aimed toward shaming you, the player, for liking what worked in the past and not liking what they’re forcing now
QRD?

>>713536135 (OP)
Please do not slander Mario's supposed daughter.

>>713536313
FPBP

>>713538224
>>713544740
He’s angry because of this.
https://gameinfinitus.com/news/sony-faces-class-action-lawsuit-in-the-netherlands-over-alleged-inflation-of-playstation-digital-prices/

>>713545593
Don't look at the statistics on such things from brownoid communities and countries.

>>713547250
lol

>Red Faction: Gorilla

>>713547250
>>713547965
JUST.

>>713536313
>>713536939
>>713537392
>>713537774

>BEING EMASCULATED BY A GIRLBOSS IS GOOD
She is literally just le feminist icon movie peach but 12 and brown hair.

>>713545593
Muhammed married a 9 year old.

>>713551150
No, he married a 6 year old, but it's ok because he waited to rape her until she was 9, because he's just that much of a stand up guy

>>713551150
who old was the sneedville girl?

>>713551289
*how

>>713536135 (OP)
What a refreshing thread that hasn't been made a thousand times since the new design dropped. Very original and not stale opinion, dude.
Seriously, the only death of the author I support is OP.

>>713536135 (OP)
New Donkey Kong design is bad because it looks like calarts and his eyes are too close together. Pauline looks great, even as a rock creature.

>>713551484
>calarts

>>713536135 (OP)
I like DK more than anyone on this shithole, and I like the new design. And I've liked him longer than the Country games have been around. Get fucked, fake fan.

>>713551786
Do you have any DK merchandise, anon?
I want to see some old shit.

>>713536135 (OP)
>posted it again award