Well, /v/?

i sneak into painted world and hide inside priscillas coat where she will keep me warm and let me gently fist her to warm my hands

>>714853504 (OP)
I hang out in blight town and kick other anons off of ledges.

>>714853610
>implying you will make it to Anor Londo
HAHAHAHA

dark souls as a stealth game would be the only way

Get the Zweihander

>>714853504 (OP)
Sprint to the Zweihander and with it stunlock undead skellies to death until I'm high enough level to kill the gargoyles easily

If you imagine things like these, do you imagine everything by the game rules like enemies just having their video game moveset, turn rate/animations etc. or do you imagine everything to be realistic?

>>714853504 (OP)
I become an archer so all npcs stand still and stare at me

>>714853696
im not bound by video game rules. i will slowly but surely built a tall ladder to climb over the wall. plus you respawn at bonfire according to op's post so ill get it eventually.

>>714853771
>level up
You can't "level up". Souls do nothing to you.

>>714853826
How will you get the Doll to enter the painting?

>>714853835
That's not in da rules. I WILL level up and you can't stop me

>>714853504 (OP)
Just hang out at firelink and trade things for handhobs with other anons I guess.

>>714853504 (OP)
I'd make it. Maneater Mildred isn't really a friendly NPC. She tries to murder you but also dabs on Quelag... so neutral. Mildred would secure my ticket home for me.

>>714853883
crawl up into ball and wait for birb of course

>>714853826
>plus you respawn at bonfire according to op's post so ill get it eventually.
Dying will still hurt like crazy

>>714853898
>trade things
Like what?
>>714853886
No magic allowed. Leveling up is magic.

>>714853774
Isekai rules are generally that everything is just like real life except with game mechanics slapped on top.

>>714853939
I've died a few times IRL and most were painless 2bh

>>714853939
well yeah but it's gonna happen in this setting eventually no matter what, may as well give myself a goal worth working for.

>>714853939
>>714853826
How many times do you think the average anon can fucking die before they completely lose their mind? There's no way you'd get used to it. I'd say most people would be rendered into shuddering wastes in 1-3 deaths, max.

>>714853974
I think then many mobs are pretty terrifying. Black Knights, Titanite Demons. Man even the Taurus Demon would pose a huge challenge.
Or this dude.

>>714853948
>Leveling up is magic.
Retard.
Magic is literally a category of spells

>>714853948
>Like what?
What you got, handsome?

>>714854002
that's because you were on opiates anon
dying from being hacked to death by an angry skeleton would suck a lot more

>>714854098
That's socreries.

>>714854056
>I'd say most people would be rendered into shuddering wastes in 1-3 deaths, max
Sounds accurate

>>714854098
you mean sorcery RETART

>>714853504 (OP)
Easily conquer the game with my isekai cheat skill, the incredible ability to move and attack at the same time

>>714854113
>that's because you were on opiates anon
I don't do drugs!

i hide in the ruins and hit oblivious anons over the head with a rock. while enjoying my free meal, i then fashion myself armor and weapons using their skeleton.

>>714854128
>>714854163
>Magic in Dark Souls is covered on this page. To use any kind of Magic, the player will first have to learn a spell, and equip a Catalyst that corresponds to the spell's Magic class. After the spell is learned, it must be equipped at a Bonfires with the Attune Magic option. A spell has a set amount of uses, before it is depleted, but resting at a Bonfire will fully replenish it. Some spells can be equipped more than once, if the player has enough slots, and multiple copies of the spell in question

>Sorceries in Dark Souls and Dark Souls Remastered are a type of Magic and can only be cast if the player has an equipped Catalyst. Sorceries can be cast by the player at any time and each requires a specific number of Attunement slots in order to equip. All Sorceries have a required amount of Intelligence that must be met in order to use, with the highest being 50 and the lowest being 10. This forces players to make tough choices with their Stats, as players opting to use high level Sorceries will have less points to spend on Strength, Dexterity or Endurance, limiting their effectiveness in melee combat.

>>714853974
>>714854056
Yeah we're all going to end up as pic related within 24 hours
Best just have a seat at the shrine and get comfortable

>>714854186
uh huh yeah sure

>>714854128
Casting any type of spell is "magic". Leveling IP at bonfires is NOT magic.

Retard.

>>714854056
>dying
skill issue

>>714854264
thats not what you said. you said magic is a catory of spells, when in reality sorcery is a catagory of magic.

Get the Elite Knight set and the Bastard Sword

>>714854329
>yeah man I can easily take on a capra demon with a rusty half broken sword

>>714854342
OK sure. Sorceries, pyromancies and miracles are "magic". Everything else is NOT magic.

>>714853751
Sucker-punch this fatass and take his zweihander

>>714853504 (OP)
Just have to ring the bells? Honestly should be pretty easy. The thing about dark souls is that if you were able to control yourself like a normal human being, half the challenge would disappear, and the rest could be easily handled with a shield and spear. I could have it done in an afternoon.

Spawn in and wait for at least two other non retarded anons to appear. (Might take a while but it's gonna happen eventually).
Since no one said it alreay: I will grab the mace/morningstar from under the shrine.
Then we'll form a team and strip the first few enemies of their weapons and armor. Having a helmet/chainmail will help.
Make our way through undead burg and acquire better shields and also longswords and spears from the undead warriors. Kiting them out one by one and then ganking them with a team of 3-4 people should be possible.

Ideally we'd also get a few crossbows. There's a shit ton of wood everywhere so carving bolts should be doable, we have enough blades for woodworking I guess.

Next goal would be to get firebombs. IDK how the rules work, if we can "farm" mobs but if we can, we could just farm the firebomb throwing soldiers in the burg. With crossbows, spears and fire bombs the Taurus demon is doable I think even if a few will die and respawn.

>>714853504 (OP)
>Strong anons act as stalkers and farm titanite and soul crystals for weak anons.
>Weak anons stay home at shrine and repeatedly like messages left by strong anons to heal them

>>714853504 (OP)
Realistically I'd probably just hang out at Firelink shrine until I died or maybe went Hollow if that applied.

Even if I'm well aware of the game's layout, I'd not want to experience it and I just don't think I could effectively get the experience required. A black knight would probably kill me each and every time no matter what I do.

Plus Firelink sounds comfy for eternity. I'd rather Majula but Firelink is a close second.

>>714853826
Fucking Laddersmith Gilligan over here. Wrong game bucko

>>714854498
Can we suck off the strong anons when they come home and learn miracles so that we can be healsluts?

>>714854498
>Stay-at-home Anons

>>714853696
>Not being able to read
You have to ring both Bells to go home, which is far before Anor Londo. Anor Londo is not a prerequisite for this.

>>714854498
>repeatedly like messages left by strong anons to heal them
Fairly certain this is not a thing in DaS1

>>714854073
Yeah if we dont have iFrames, can't deal proper damage against enemies in armour and can't even block, everyone is going to get super duper rekt. Best we can do is overpower the mobs with our sheer numbers

>>714853948
>Like what?
Shit

OK I think we could do it bros.

>>714854467
>join some anon's party to help him through the game
>just as he is about to ring the second bell, stab him in the dick
hehe, nothin' personnel kid

>>714853504 (OP)
I'd imagine an ecosystem would quickly form where some anons literally could not progress because they'd be the XP pigs of stronger anons. So you'd get killed, respawn, and get killed immediately again just so some other anon can get stronger off of you.
At some point it'll be impossible for you to escape this, as the power difference has become too great, so you're doomed to an eternity of being an XP pig

>>714853610
Ringing both bells takes you home so you can't get there

>>714853826
>Implying you know any sort of carpentry to make an even passable ladder to scale a high wall
Where would you get the wood, hammer, and nails? If you're going to make a peg style ladder, what chisel for your woodworking? The best you'll be able to do is finding a dead tree, propping it up, and shimming above

>>714853504 (OP)
It would be fun if we are like 100 anons trying to brute force our way through the game trying to win based on numbers alone

>>714854632
It's gonna be the 100 dudes vs 1 gorilla thing only that the dudes are mostly gay autists and the gorilla's are trained soldiers in fullplate and big sword.
We're "cooked" as the kids say.

>>714854691
i come back

>>714854545
First thing I do is throw you into the well at the shrine when I get there

>>714854738
How

>>714854709
i can't die, i will figure it out eventually. nothing is impossible when you can't die and have a dream.

>>714854545
Miracles not allowed. But yes, I imagine strong anons will bring weak anons fashion and nourishment in exchange for sexual gratification and message likes.

>>714854545
>and learn miracles
Why is reading so hard for anons nowadays?

>>714854406
I would just cheese it. You can use throwing items to kill it before you even enter the arena.

>>714854467
Undead warriors would be a serious roadblock unless you got lucky enough to get an anon who actually knows something about sword fighting. People seem to be thinking "well irl I can actually control my body, that'll make it easier," but that also means that enemies are behaving realistically, and they actually know what they're doing. You'd want to pressgang groups of like 10 anons minimum for exploration, give them all spears, and try to kite enemies off one by one to poke them to death. Even then you'd probably have people turn and run the fuck away the first time an 8 ft tall skeleton charges them, then refuse to come back ever.

If enemies respawn we could end up stuck forever.

>>714853504 (OP)
>Suicide run into the catacombs to get the Lucerne.
>Fight some hollows for martial arts practice.
>Collect weapons and armor.
>Get bored.
>Stealth past the giant bosses that I could never possibly beat because they are 100 times heavier than me, ring the bells and go home.

>>714854792
>message likes.
Elden Ring-baby, liking messages did nothing in Dark Souls 1

>>714854815
healing spells are called miracles in dark souls retard. you learn and recite tales of the miracles of the gods to cast those types of spells.

>>714854691
I parry the sword wielding undead on thd bridge leading to Andre to glitch out my collision and get to Sen's that way. What now?

>>714854784
Log onto the computer and open this thread again, duh.

>>714854852
DS3 had it too

>>714854861
READ NIGGER!

imagine the smell
all death

>>714854952
oh yeah i didn't read that lel well i will still suck your cock and balls

>>714853504 (OP)
I've got relief ace down, firelink isn't too terrible of a place.

>>714853504 (OP)
>wait until all the other anons have left firelink to go try to mob queelag or some shit
>kill the firekeeper

>>714854821
Luckily, I'm a HEMA fag.
But speaking from that experience: 2v1 in an armed fight is already boderline impossible. Two people attacking you at the same time from 2 directions is a death sentence in most scenarios. I said I'll wait for 2 anons so we'd be 3 people doing this. Yes, one of us might catch a sword but then there's 2 other dudes stabbing away at it.
I could quickly teach them some basics before we head out but 10 people for 1 undead warrior is overkill. Most of their body is exposed/unarmored.

>>714854727
I mean, if a dozen people swarm a black knight and just wrestle the sword out of its hand, then we can win pretty easily. The demons and gargoyles would be tougher.

Quelaag would be the worst of it all because we'd all die in the swamp, plus firebombs would have to be our main damage source for most of the game. Still, a couple dozen anons with bows will eventually pin cushion any unarmoured foe

>>714853504 (OP)
Well, first, I'd get a spear. None of us niggas can do backflips or lift a basic arming sword. So we just have to spam spears and have a big black anon behind us yell to go always go forward or else he'll give us his spear.

>>714853504 (OP)
>You share this world with all other anons
We all Zerg Rush New Londo lever and the valley of drakes elevator, as long as one of us make it to the parish he can send the elevator down.
We beat the Gargoyles by using firebombs, ground consumables, and a couple of brave lads using the lightning resin with spears or halberds.
For Blighttown, we enter through the opened valley of drakes entrance. First, a small squad to assassinate the blowpiper. Once we're at the bottom, climb and hug the right wall to get to her room while avoiding the foes and poison pools. For the actual fight, 20 of us with bows constantly staggering her upper half until she dies. Might be hard to get enough arrows, I forget whether hollows drop them.

>>714855129
Crossbows would be better. You do NOT want basic bitch beginner archers behind you. They WILL miss

>>714855129
Getting to queelag would suck, I agree. But herself? As you said, if we get a Napoleonic war era firing line with crossbows and everyone aims at her upper body IDK what she could do.
If we play by realistic rules and her human torso is what controls the entire body then getting her with a few bolts should just kill the entire thing.

>>714854605
>Talks about anon not being able to read when he himself didn't read what the post was replying to
Remind me - where was the entrance to the painted world again?

>>714855129
>>714855150
I will get da fucking Lucerne.
Once I have my lucerne and any suit of armor, I will be unkillable.

>Democratically elect a king
>King gets Havels set and ring of favor & protection
>King Havel is responsible for beating gargoyle & Quelag for everyone

>>714855265
>gets concussed by five Hollows™ with clubs

>all the anons fighting quelaag
>meanwhile I sneak away, down below her lair to find the cute sick spider girl and give her hugs and kisses

>>714853974
Do I get a harem of thirsty femanons?

>shit like this would be unironically fun in fulldive VR
>fulldive VR will forever remain science fiction
ugh...

>>714855092
NO FRIENDLY NPCS

>>714854790
ngl pretty based anon

I take it back. All us other anons will lose hope and hollow, but you'll build a ladder to freedom. Tell the world of us left behind.

>>714853504 (OP)
Should've clarified that only anons who can imagine a photorealistic spinning apple within three layers of conversation can post ITT

>>714855340
creep. would you kiss her belly button? her soft warm pale belly button?

>>714855361
Is mayonaise a friendly npc?

>>714855345
By getting repeatedly pushed off a cliff with them

>>714855408
I would sit on the big spider body and kiss her neck from behind

>>714855361
Ah, so there isn't a firelink bonfire to begin with? That just makes my job of fucking everybody up even easier.

>>714853504 (OP)
Just hang around fire link. I'm essentially immortal. Maybe try and build something.

>>714853504 (OP)
Go to the graveyard, grab Zwei, win.

>>714854821
>If enemies can respawn
The only way I could see this happening is if everyone "wiped", leaving no anons able to observe the area.

It also leaves a dilemma where we'll need to leave an anon or two to observe areas to ensure they don't respawn in case we want to go back. We'll have to leave some anons in scary places by themselves for the good if the group.

>>714855604
let's go terraria rules

I would just sit there throwing rocks at other Anons calling them niggers and SEAmonkeys

Ok but what do we eat?
I guess killing other anons would just make their body turn to ash like in the games and they reform at the bonfire.
The rats are all deseased.
There's the whole darkroot woods/basin with lots of plants but idk about anything edible...

Would there be janny pogroms?

>>714855689
we would lock you in lautrecs cell thoughbeit.
10 seamonkeys can overpower 1 aryangod im afraid

Updated the ruleset because some of you are cheeky!

>>714855764
tomorow users in shambles
this is unreadable

>>714855812

>>714855689
>>714855748
>nobody ever gets anywhere because /v/tards immediately splinter off into racial gangs and spend literally all of their time shanking each other
I didn't even consider this part of it. We're so fucked

>>714855710
>Ok but what do we eat?
Anastacia's sweet pussy

>>714855748
Right, in that case first I'd train my stamina so that no one can catch up with me, then, throw rocks at others and calling them slurs

>>714855836

>>714855710
I imagine our hunger will reset if we die. It wouldn't make much sense if we starve to death, respawn, and immediately starve to death again.

That being said there's plenty of wildlife and plants we can forage and hunt for once we learn how to not die frequently enough where food becomes an issue. We even have the luxury of being able to freely test if something is poisonous to eat because we'll just respawn, or if it's a lengthy poisoning we can "mercy kill" the anon so he'll respawn quickly.

>>714855836
>respawning mobs do so every 24h
Boooooo. It's just clear admission that anons could honestly beat the game as is, given the fact that they'd just farm souls by kicking undead off edges and then buy firebombs for the bosses.

>>714855764
I have a question about gear. We don't have infinite inventories where we can carry thirty swords and sets of armors like the game.

I assume if I die wearing an armor, I can keep it, but if I die and drop my sword is the sword left where I died?

You just know somebody would try to steal his ring and all of us would get caught in a massacre loop. Getting chopped up by a shotel would fkn hurt a lot. We'd all run away to seethe in the tunnel up the stairs while Laurtec just stood there all smug at Firelink.

>>714856004
>Buy bombs
From who? There's no friendly NPCs.

>>714856028
I don't think he's even there. Friendly NPCs are absent and he is nonhostile until you invade him.

>>714855936
>plenty of wildlife
like what

Sound off, fags. Have to know what and how many we are working with here.
https://strawpoll.com/poy9kzLGQgJ

>>714855315
No, if I have the lucerne, which is just a lighter, longer polehammer, I will use my super epic martial artz skillz to crush all the hollows into pieces.

>>714856070
Vendors are neutral not friendly

>>714856081
I don't know if anyone would consider Laurtec a friendly NPC though. He's a menace. Like patches.

I'm making a suicide run for the Server
I also recommend we do Quelaag first so we can fuck the Fair Lady

>>714856024
Everything you were wearing/holding at the time of death comes with you.
So you can fashion a bag out of cloth/leather and keep stuff in there. Dropping the sword upon death would be anti fun and people could just find a loophole by attaching it with a string to their wrist anyway. I'd say intent matters. If you drop a weapon to "wield" a new one it's your current weapon. If a black knight chops your arm off you were still "wielding" your sword.

>>714856082
I'm sure we can eat some of these.

>>714856093
>https://strawpoll.com/poy9kzLGQgJ
True balance has been achieved

>>714856128
>>714856070
Clarification: Friendly NPCs means all the ones that are non hostile and you can talk to in the game. So no vendors, no crestfallen knight etc.
I did this to protect certain NPCs from rape.

Invaders still invade in the areas they do so have fun with mildred I guess.

>>714856128
That's retarded. Anything that doesn't immediately attack you is considered "friendly" in most RPGs.

>>714856192
>I also recommend we do Quelaag first so we can fuck the Fair Lady
In WHAT hole?

>>714853504 (OP)
>ring the bells
NAH BITCH I HAVE A GRANDER QUEST

MOSTLY PEACEFUL WHEELNIGGERS BE DAMNED
THAT FLUFFY TAIL MUST BE TOUCHED

>>714856287
>did this to protect certain NPCs from rape.
Reasonable

>>714856204
I'd become a suicide merchant. I'd go to places with weapons lying around or snatch weapons, tuck them into a large cloth bag, and get killed to sell to other anons.

>>714856028
enough people together could very easily just kick him off the side of the shrine
the problem then is people fighting over who gets his ring unless it just doesn't spawn in because we can't reload the area

>>714856325
Naizuri.
But also the spider hole if you aren't a coward.

>>714856287
I'm glad she is safe <3

Im going DOWN THE SWAMP to CONQUER THE INVADING SOW
who's with me

>>714853504 (OP)
I don't even care about going back. Even the Dark Souls world would be better than my current life.
I welcome this change

>>714856070
>>714856287
Then it just switches to taking away farming firebombs off Hollow Soldiers via half dozen anons jumping them with shivs.

>>714856512
Based, I'm coming for that mildrussy too

>>714856512
She looks fine without the bag on her head.
I'm in.

>>714856287
>I did this to protect certain NPCs from rape.
ffffuuuuuuu

Fine. I'm going to rape a Black Knight. Maybe they're cute under the armor.

I would just be constantly using the bonfire to respawn the enemies just to annoy the anons trying to make progress.

>>714856453
>But also the spider hole if you aren't a coward.
The WHAT

>>714856554
Yeah, but someone will be retarded and either drop it blowing up the stock or we'll get blown up mid collection.

We have to remember the fire bombs won't just disappear into a magic inventory. They'll still be around and the more we have, the more dangerous it'll be. This method will taken weeks of trial and error.

>>714856608
>white
10/10 in america

>>714856660
zoom out

>>714855710
I will club down some unfortunate anon, tie him up and use him as a living cum dispenser. Every time I get hungry, I will forcefully suck his cock until I my belly is full with his cum again.
Hunger solved (at least for me, not for him).

>>714856660
>navel
I will try. Nothing to lose.

>>714856632
>Desperate and horny anons gang raping female enemies instead of trying to progress
>Spawn camping any known female enemy spawns
It's beautiful.

>>714856794
Least gay dark souls player

>>714855210
How do you Zerg rush with four people?

So it says we share this world with all other everone else itt

Do we split up and send half the anons to blighttown? Do we have the master key to go the quick way? If not we all need to go together because the depths and gaping dragon will filter us

>no magic
>no friendlies
Im going to sodomize the taurus demon. Any anon that attempt to attack it will have their legs and arms broken and offered to it as a living onahole. Any underage fags will be abducted for sacrifice regardless.

Can you stop raping and harassing female enemies?

I've been running up and down the ladder to make the fire breathe on the bridge for the last 6 hours. It just doesn't stop being fun.

>>714856093
Cannon Fodder.
I'm 400lbs so if I can get a big shield then I'd be a really good tank.

>>714856936
People who skimmed the OP image and thought it was gay should be forced to participate too, for fairness.

>>714856093
femboy who actually knows how to fight IRL

>>714856960
I don't think this is like the traditional game. Regarding the gaping dragon, we need the key yes, but we don't necessarily need to kill it. It would take a lot of trial and error to find where it is, but we'd just need one anon to get it, hold onto it tightly when he dies, and we're home free.

We just need to know where the key is on/in the dragon and get a suicide grabber to get it.

I imagine suicide runs will be pretty common.

I would be the one stealthing past all the bosses while everyone else is dogpiling them and ringing the bells without ever fighting anything.

>>714857008
White knights will be condemned to fight the black knight until they win or recant their faggotry. Every respawn will have them forcibly dragged to the black knight.

>>714856287
>did this to protect certain NPCs from rape
Fine, then I'll just have to rape the hostlie ones.

>>714857008
Listen man, we don't have any other options here.
You work with what you got.

>>714853504 (OP)
I think getting the top bell rung would be doable with stealth and lots of running, especially if we lemmings it.
Bottom bell is impossible though.

>>714857307
Can I loot the Antiquated set from Darkrood Basin or does no friendly NPCs mean no Antiquated set?

>>714855129
If you're not bound by vidya rules, you could reach the swamp bell of awakening by just digging a mineshaft down from the surface directly above it. With infinite time and a few hundred men, it'd be trivial
Avoid traversing that God-awful swamp and all that dwell within it (fat ogre cunts, Queelag herself, toxic blowpipe guys, etc)

You could probably build a ladder to scale the elevator in Firelink once to enable the shortcut, and skip the Undead Burg, drake, Taurus Demon etc. entirely. Getting past the gargoyles though, that seems rough.

>>714857407
>Bottom bell is impossible though.
I will walk past Queerlag or whatever that thing was called, as it is distracted by all the morons trying to rape it and ring the bottom bell without fighting.

>>714857469
The fog wall doesn't let you pass until the boss is dead.

>>714853504 (OP)
I'll do a flip off of Firelink and see what one miserable death is like before probably dying in proceedingly more grotesque ways because fucking Dark Souls. Wonder if I can just Darksign and save myself the trouble if I know I'm fucked though.

>>714857469
there's a huge fucking barrier blocking the way until she's dead numbnuts
unless you can abseil down there and go around her shit, I forget how the structure of that works

>>714857307
Imagine being the one twink in charge of moral support for 12 other anons haha

>>714857575
I will suicide run to get the greatclub, then chisel away at the wall next to the fog gate with it until I have made a gap that I can squeeze trough.

>>714857610
Do you think resting at the bonfire would also restore cum? Can it restore that poor man's blown out anus?

>>714857610
I do not want STDs. Someone else can do that.

>>714857575
I never intended to post this website here but...
https://noclip.website/

here you have access to tons of vidya maps and can observe everything

>>714857468
>Begin to dig
>Find new horrors not shown in the original game and no anons have meta knowledge to even begin to navigate
Would be kino. I never thought about it, but it is a whole world.

I want to change my role. I want to be an explorer and see what's beyond our known borders of the game.

>>714857750
Did you make this? Neat.

>>714857750
Holy kino.
This is our home now!

>>714857750
Neat.

>>714857727
I'm sure the bonfire will cure them

>>714857791
No lol everyone knows that site

>>714854691
I'll just let you ring the bells and vanish while I go through the opened gate
Or strip down and squeeze through some bars, lop my arms off if need be I just need to get to a bonfire

>>714853504 (OP)
>no magic
But being a wizard/pyromancer is cool

>>714856093
>No spear option
Bruh...

>>714858152
that falls under cannon fodder

>>714856093
>cannon fodder
>somebody who actually knows how to fight IRL
I feel like I need an option that's both of these

So who's getting sacrificed to the undead dragon so i can grab Astora's straight sword

Christ is king my faith is strong, we can't use any magic ourselves but it says nothing about enchanted weapons so i could probably do more damage with it

>>714858281
It's a trick question, because even if you know how to fight you're still probably going to be fed to a fucking meat grinder because OP's a fag and doesn't allow levels or anything fun like magic.

>>714857750
That's a coolass site, thanks for sharing it anon.
Man, there's some game maps I haven't seen in fucking decades, and I can get my WoW nostalgia fix without paying Blizzard $15 a month.

>>714858304
Yes, enchanted weapons do work. No "minimum requirements" or shit.
Killing the Mimic in Sen's for a lightning spear is probably one of the best weapon you guys have access to.

>>714858654
You can keep the "magic weapons".
I will get claim Lucerne for myself only!

>>714853504 (OP)
Assuming that laws of physics work, i make myself a lot of ladders, ropes, grappling hooks and whatnot, and go exploring. Engaging enemies at that point would be easy enough because you can throw them off the ledges, and EXPLOIT environment to your absolute advantage. It will be like an immersive sim, except in the world of Dark Souls 1.
>no friendly NPCs
Surely there is loot, and plenty of it, around?
And do we need to eat, or are we sustained by holy spirit?

>>714858397
Tbf if we could level with respawning enemies there's no challenge, since anons would just autistically grind until SL200 and shitstomp everything.

>>714853714
Ok, dark souls 1, but it plays like Dark Messiah, Oblivion/Skyrim, Prey 2016, Thief.

>>714858789
>And do we need to eat, or are we sustained by holy spirit?
>>>714856794

>>714858789
At what point does wasting away due to malnutrition become a "wound" for the bonfire to heal?

>given up on going home
>anons have gone insane
>there's a legitimate coom tribe
>firelink shrine is no longer safe
>they forcibly spawn trap the most effeminate anons there
>they title them
>the cummy keepers
>the real freaks watch and listen from the undead parish church
>acting as watch dogs for when one of the effeminate anons runs for their life

>darkroot is a loss cause
>the furries stalk it
>some worship the hydra
>others attempt to tame the drakes
>the most fanatical currently still try to subdue sif

>the few anons left trying to ring the bell dwindle by the day
>a lone autist rushed the stone armor
>and the gravelord sword
>kills anyone that tries to face quelaag
>asked to stop gatekeeping
>only responds with
>not yet

>the one female anon ran to the great hollow
>last seen swimming off into horizon of ash lake

>>714858838
Exactly. Grinding levels is extremely boring. You have 50+ dudes, many know the game well and can think outside the box.

>>714858304
>sneak through the Darkroot Basin, avoiding all the rape bushes and the black knight
>grab the Grass Crest Shield
>enjoy +20% stamina regeneration (for my 0 stamina)
Easy challenge.

If the undead merchant isn't there, you might still be able to rush through the Burg and grab the Uchigatana from his spot before dying. Not sure what other decent "early" equipment there is that we could grab.

>me sitting lonely at ash lake for eternity
I'm just a cool lone wolf type, I can't help it.

>>714856093
>16 sane anons
>4 anons

Welp you all are fucked

>>714853771
>>714853751
While retards run for the zeimemedler and fight each other I stroll at my own rhythm to the claymore to grab it. Then I walk back to firelink and do nothing at all with it.
I just want it.

>>714859071
I guarantee you 4 out of the 4 self reported edgelords would give into the social pressure.

>>714858897
Honestly just sounds like your average FromSoft world again. The Chosen Undead is basically dropped right into the middle of this scenario anyway.

>>714856093
Is there some easy to access crossbow for me to use?

>>714859175
You stroll at your own rhythm across the hellkite bridge?

How videogamey are things in this challenge, can you grab scenic objects or just the "set" spawns?
Like if you could activate the Firelink shortcut (climb up the elevator shaft), there's a big stash of high quality weapons very close to spawn that Andre would have otherwise been selling. That'd set a good chunk of us up.

>>714859360
His stroll is more like a wild sprint, you wouldn't understand.

>>714859360
Unlike Americans I'm not grotesquely overweight so I can survive a little heatwave.

>>714857750
Anon, you are marvelous and sublime.

>>714859459
You really can't man it's fire, it's so much fire you can not

Pour one out for our first moral support anon. I'd give him 10 minutes before he is more cum than man

>>714853504 (OP)
I lock on and walk slowly to one side.

Your move.

>>714859682
I learned about this technique from Hajime no Ippo when he defends his title against Karasawa. I would take a little step at you.

>>714858879
You have like 1 month before you start wasting away. 3 days before dehydration properly kicks in. If you are fat, it is even longer. Do mind that in the Darkroot Garden there are plenty of herbs and fruits, and water.
>>714856794
That is just macabre.

>>714859035
>Ash Lake
You have to get through the swamp first.

>>714853948
>Leveling up is magic.
By that logic resting at bonfires and undeath itself is magic.

Worst thing is that in Dark Souls, there is no cozy remote place to set up camp for me.
I guess I could claim a random house in Undead Burg or random ruin in Drake Valley or New Londo.

Basically, it would be The Lord of Flies, except no "muh evil" bullshit.

>>714859953
shh, don't tell OP that

>>714859953
They are magic but not in the sense that you are manipulating souls, bonfires and undeath are magic existing not you using magic

>>714859953
>>714860029
It is an exception. And it is directly implied that OP meant sorceries.

>>714859771
I will poke you in the back for a fully invulnerable canned finisher animation.

>>714853504 (OP)
I'm pretty sure enough anons can just faceroll everything by grabbing whatever weapons we can and swarming through. few obstacles in the game could handle 100+ anons just mobbing everything. As long as someone gets to a bonfire we're good.

hello everyone, i may have arrived late but anyone still even close to firelink is having all of their limbs removed, cauterized and then I'm throwing you in separate holes
together we will find out if it's possible to starve to death as an undead

>>714856960
>So it says we share this world with all other everone else itt
Even femanons?

>>714857008
Good thing that in Dark Soul's world there is no gay society protecting you when you say moralfaggotry like this, faggot.

>>714853504 (OP)
>You have been Isekaid to a world of magic and fantasy but we take away everything that makes a world of magic and fantasy funny.
No thanks.

>>714853504 (OP)
I go down the stairs and rape Anastacia.

>>714857087
>I'm 400lbs so if I can get a big shield then I'd be a really good tank.
Do americans think fat people are immune to getting stabbed?

I don't actually remember any female enemies that weren't bosses prior to the second bell.
But then again, females are so boring that I might have memory holed them.

>>714860389
Well yeah it's Dark Fantasy

>>714860513
That's a good ass album.

>>714859787
If we're playing by actual dark souls rules, undead don't feel hunger or thirst and don't need to eat or drink to survive

Some theories say undead get nourishment from the flame of a bonfire, and that estus is basically condensed liquid bonfire flame

I feel like unless we're able to just bypass the shortcut door from New Londo to Blighttown by busting it down, we'd just be kind of hosed by the Gaping Dragon. If it's following realism rules, he would be the most challenging thing we'd have to fight BY FAR. Unless I'm misremembering and the Darkroot connection to Valley of the Drakes is two-way from the start and not initially just Valley to Darkroot.
But then I guess we can just have 95% of the group stand up where the Channeler is and rain arrows down on him. Unless realism rules let him climb the walls to eat the archers.

none of you niggas have combat training lol if we cant level up we're fucked

>>714860490
Butchers, maybe
Ghosts depending on whether you choose to be a Darkwraith at the start
Dead firekeeper pussy
Slimegirls in the depths

Everytime I see one of these "you get sucked into vidya world" I always wonder.

Does realism apply to these situations? Am I a fully autonomous being like I am in real life? Can I do shit you can't do in the game like grind up glass and throw it into enemies eyes to blind them? Can I cut the asylum demons achilies tendon so he can't walk? Will stabbing undead directly through the head be an instant kill? Or do I act and move like an actual video game character? I feel like if it's the former I'd probably get out after many agonising deaths

>>714860601
He can't fly but those wings do let him jump to nearly the top of the arena so those archers are getting melted in acid

>>714860259
Even femanons.

>>714860168
>first guy rushing forward gets disemboweled by a skeleton and starts screaming bloody murder
>anons directly behind him falter, get hit from behind by the rest of the mob, and fall over, tripping more people
>anon mob descends into confusion and panic as more injuries and screams pile up from the writhing mass up front; people are crushed and those who are armed accidentally wound others in the press of bodies
>people towards the middle go "fuck this shit" and start running away
>people in the back, hearing a cacophony of screams and seeing people running, also choose to run away
>few remaining anons at the front are panicked, injured, and frenzied, possibly lashing out at each other in blind fury/panic, unable to discern where the pain is coming from
>lone undead warrior walks forward and hacks them to pieces as they wriggle about
>100 anons pwned by one skellington

Good luck convincing them to try again after that fiasco.

>>714860607
>none of you niggas have combat training
A bold assumption.
>lol if we cant level up we're fucked
Yeah, unless we're working on literal game logic I don't see us clearing.

>>714860642
I ask the same questing. Am i bound by the rules of the game, or am i bound by the rules of reality?
Because if its former, its gonna get tedious. If its the latter, then some fun times will be had.

>>714860642
Huh I never thought of this. I personally feel if this applied my chances are a lot higher due to the fact I'm essentially immortal and will eventually figure out the anatomy of monsters enough to notice what hurts or kills them quicker

>>714860774
You do realise you can grab the spear by the haft and yank it to the side, and thus kick the skelly that is imbalanced off?

>>714860642
If you think about it armour will be a lot more effective against trash mobs, but bosses will one shot every anon here armour or not because i honestly don't see anyone surviving a 20 foot tall bull demon swinging a club the size of a tree trunk at high velocity

>>714860774
>Get Lucerne
>If the sketeton engages with me, defend while the other anons shatter it from behind.
>If the skeleton engages with other anons, strike it with lucerne from behind.
Fighting is very easy if it is 10 VS 1.

OP never said that enemies regen or respawn when I rest so realistically if we all go full zombie man from one punch man we got this shit In the bag.

It's gonna suck and hurt like hell but we got this

>>714853504 (OP)
You faggots aren't getting to blight-town before I am. Maneater Mildred's fat pussy IS MINE!

>>714857750
Holy shit I was looking for something exactly like this like 9 months ago.

>>714861146
OP updated the rules to say that they respawn every 24 hours. Good luck.

>>714853504 (OP)
>You can light bonfires and respawn upon death
The question is when are we escaping, with infinite tries we are going to do it 100%

>>714860953
>>714861038
Anons, mobs of people can barely handle a big sale at a store without trampling each other. You really think you can marshal 100+ fat autists, failed normalfags, literal down syndromites, furries, SEAmonkey ESLs, and elitist neckbeards into any kind of effective fighting force? We'd spend more time killing each other than anything else.

>>714861227
Are we? Many have no plans of even trying to.

>>714857727
>STDs
We are all virgins lol

>>714859908
The swamp is less of an issue than blighttown. One slip and you fall to your death while you get injected with deadly venom the whole time. But once you're down there, just running past the leeches isn't a big deal. And climbing down the great hollow is probably WAY, WAY easier with IRL human movement compared to DarkSouls controls.

>>714861465
Speak for yourself. I've fucked a Tranny in the arse before. He liked it.

>>714860774
I mean we have more or less infinite time to get disciplined, skilled and fit. We might fail a lot but eventually we will become literally battle hardened enough.

Just like Miyazaki intended.

>>714861369
>You really think you can marshal 100+ fat autists, failed normalfags, literal down syndromites, furries, SEAmonkey ESLs, and elitist neckbeards into any kind of effective fighting force?
No, but I can assemble them into a destructive, constantly regenerating (from people dieing and returning to the fray from the bonfire) chaotic murderblob that devours everythung in its path.

>>714860389
>filtered by fun theorycraft/hypothesizing
Just watch an actual isekai, you have no creative bone in your frail body.

>>714853504 (OP)
>No friendly NPCs
Then how will I get my Uchi?

>>714853504 (OP)
I have been what?
Is that the new bond burgered or something

>>714861605
>>714861628
Most people would have exactly one disembowelment/impalement/arrow to the stomach leading to slow painful death/etc. in them before they decided sitting around Firelink for eternity isn't such a bad gig. The trauma would be immense. You'd have to hope that there's a constant supply of new retards to replenish your Hollows, and that it's enough to overcome the 24h time limit on enemies respawning.

>>714861715
You can get the Iato after beating Gaping Dragon.
It's actually pretty good.

The real question is where we will get 200 spears and 100 bows with tens of arrows for each.
200 wooden spears would already be hard to get by but we need metal spears.
And there are no Souls or vendors to buy them.

>>714860642
I always imagine these things with the realism aspect you point at.

The games we see are just abstractions of a world the devs/directors/writers imagined. Enemy AI and animations and health pools are just techincal limitations or deliberate constraints by game design rules to make it fun for a player.

>>714860445
No. The heavier you are the harder you are to get pushed around/knocked off your feet. That's why I said I'd need a shield.

>>714862096
Do you know how fucking exhausting fighting is?
Even trained fighters are gassed after a few minutes.
Your fat ass heaving a heavy shield while adrenaline is pumping through your fat clogged veins will give you an active time of 30 seconds

t. former MMA and Boxing fag

>>714862206
>Do you know how fucking exhausting fighting is?
Most people have really no idea.

>>714862206
>>714862257
Don't most irl fights end in 30 seconds?

>>714860642
If realism applies to you then it would also apply to enemies and while a lot of them are mindless undead or beasts it would still be trouble if they don't leave just because you sit down at a bonfire for example.

>>714862206
>>714862096

>Okay everyone, let's take another break. Our lard golem needs another breather.

>>714861780
Then we grab those people and use them as meat shields as we mob to the next bonfire.

>>714862206
I'm mostly blocking bro. I did football and blocked double tackles all day.

>>714853504 (OP)
>all friendly npcs are absent
wrong
I am become crestfallen, and I will tell anons to ring the bells and laugh at them for no reason

>>714862372
You ever tried carrying a grown man aint want to be carried? Have fun slugger

>>714853504 (OP)
How did an objectively 5/10 game like Shart Souls become popular on /v/?

>>714862551
Back to the Atlyss thread, you horny slut. Dark Souls is a game for REAL MEN!

>>714862551
This anon get's thrown into Lautrec's cell lmao

>>714862551
Low quality bait

Have a (you) and get the fuck off my thread

>>714862551
It was a game made for me (the guy whose opinions /v/ keeps trying to steal)

>>714862551
I'm raping this guy when we get to Firelink

>>714861780
>slow painful death
The wounded would just get pushed off cliffs to end their suffering. No man gets left behind to die in agony, I'll smash their heads in with rocks if I must.

>>714862703
Afterwards, we throw him to the taurus demon so we can skip the fight by sneaking past him withle he brutally rapes this anon.

>>714862551
It was something different + "Made in Japan".

>>714862761
I might try to pop my cock in his mouth while the taurus demon rapes him, just for a minute, I think it would be funny

Light blight town on fire and shimmy down a rope to the bottom after it's ashes.

>>714862923
Wood's too damp, not lightin'

Genuinelly find it hard to decide whetever I will want to be the big hero who braves the journey to ring the two bells or just be a neet who just chills in some ruin all day, collecting junk and killing weak enemies for fun until someone else to be the hero.

>>714862989
Alright I'm putting together a team. We'll kill the first few fags in blight town and then shimmy to the bottom on a rope. Once we're in the swamp we'll have dudes with torches on insect duty while the rest of us saw down the supports. Once blight town comes down and crushes us all to death we'll regroup at the bonfire.

Does ringing the bells get all of us out or just the chumps doing the ringing?

>>714862875
That's how you get your wiener bitten off anon.
Taursus demon would be all like "lol" "lmao"

>>714863196
Every anon who wants to escape has to ring both bells.

>>714863228
He can just heal that at the bonfire.

>>714863228
I'll obviously club his jaw before we throw him down

>>714853504 (OP)
I buy reclub and heater shield from vendor and become the gatekeeper to sens, clubbing anons left and right, becoming the ultimate miniboss. yes i will reverse roll backstab you. yes i will chain backstab you.

>>714853504 (OP)
I spedran souls, just sprint past the turtle reflexes enemies, grab the doll back in the asylum, sneak into the fortress without hanging the bells, find some way to beat the golem, get to anor londo, enter the painting and start my new life there.

>>714863405
How do you get into the fortress without ringing the bells?

>>714863462
He’s going to sens skip with deathcam

>>714863405
The doll's off-limits, if you try to get it the rest of us who want it will kill you until you give up and enter the gentlemen's agreement we have

Hey there, tired and frustrated? Join my covenant, the cult of perverse pleasure. Where we make our problems, everyone elses. Kindred spirits need to come to the catacombs to learn more.

>>714863938
Bro I hope you all die

>>714863938
>cult of perverse pleasure
You mean STD hell?

>>714863979
They all hope they die, too

>>714854691
>kill myself
>respawn at the last bonfire
ez

>>714853504 (OP)
Do we also lose our humanity and hollow if every depressed anon becomes an enemy we are cooked

>>714853504 (OP)
I go ghost watching with my bros

>>714861575
>He

>>714863405
I'll help you
Just lemme have a crow girl

>>714861605
>Just like Miyazaki intended.
kino

>>714863979
Sounds like we have our first contestant for the bone wheel races!
>>714864035
Oh its so very much worse than that anon. It goes far beyond the meager delight of flesh.

>>714863396
>buy reclub and heater shield from vendor
retard

The starting knight class is pretty strong. And we could easily farm titanite and useful items like gold pine resin, dung pie, green blossom etc. We'd be fine.

Doesn't matter the world. If you isekai a bunch of Anons into it, it will always turn into a rape dystopia, doesn't it?

>>714856093
>https://strawpoll.com/poy9kzLGQgJ

To the 5 femboys:
Stand and speak up.

>>714858654
>Killing the Mimic in Sen's for a lightning spear is probably one of the best weapon you guys have access to.
you mean the place that opens up by ringing both bells?

>>714864725
So they say but I bet most would be pretty miserable at first and then just genuinely try to get home.

>>714864828
>So they say but I bet most would be pretty miserable at first
Firelink shrine isn't that bad and the view is awesome!

>>714864789
Where are we meeting up, dickass thief Patches LARPers

>>714864789
For a random sample of souls fans 11% femboy sluts seems low desu.

>Day 1
>Day 100

>>714864985
I would love to spend a vacation in Dark Souls 1 for a few months but I do not wanna spend the rest of my life there.

>>714864996
Where else? The catacombs. Not really much reason to go down there for most people so we will be free to scheme, though we get to pick off people making the run for the lucerne or great scythe.

>>714864985
Can we meet Frampt at Firelink?

>>714864789
>>714865006
Femboys are so fucking adorable. I love them so much.
Not much clothing for femboys to findin Dark Souls 1 though and I doubt we will get enough thread and quality cloth to make new ones.

>>714864824
As real humans we can do real human things, like a very skinny anon could probably fit through a hole in the bars

Granted the bottom of the gate is solid metal but there are ladders everywhere in undead burg that could be used

In game you can also glitch into sen's with just a little practice

>>714864828
Of course we're miserable, nobody is gang-raping each other because the outlook isn't so bad it's because that's all we've got

>>714864824
Just climb the wall.

>>714865106
>though we get to pick off people making the run for the lucerne or great scythe.
I personally will go for the Gravelord Greatsword. Fucking OP as hell

>>714864985
>no proper beds
>no running water
>everything is mossy stone
>pretty exposed cliffside so probably windy as fuck, bonfire isn't even at a nice protected location

It's fine ingame but firelink would suck as an actual shelter.
The one above Andre's smithy is way better

ONE MORE BONFIRE

Let's be real the only thing that would happen is everyone would split off into waifu factions and try to kill the other waifus

>>714865245
Be awful if someone were to take those eyes of death anon

>>714865326
For me it's undead burg or new londo.

I wonder if you can get used to dying by jumping off the cliff or doing other mostly painless deaths to overcome fear of dying if anything. Pain is the whole different factor, but if you feel like you're goner you could just slit your throat for a reset

>>714865437
For me it's Anor Londo

>>714865437
>new londo.
Imagine the smell. There's thousands of corpses in that water. Also the ghosts would be too scary if they wander around

>>714865557
The corpses aren't floating, it would smell like any other large body of water full of things dying in it

>>714853504 (OP)
Undead in the burg drop firebombs. We can handle a few hollows and farm up enough bombs to become a menace to anything in the world. Imagine a hoard of 30+ gremlins pelting you with endless grenades. We could conquer the entire world easily. We could even blow a hole in sen's fortress and skip the bells entirely. There's probably some /k/ anon that could use firebomb powder to make guns too.

>>714865245
>Gravelord Greatsword
IDK looks kinda unwieldy. The basic ass longsword or the spears would outperform it.

>>714865515
Cannot go there without ringing the bells.

>>714865660
>/k/ anon that could use firebomb powder to make guns too.
We'd have to smelt armor/weapons and then make gun barrels, very hard without proper tools.
Andre has smithing tools but try boring a barrel without a lathe or other tools for it.
You will soon learn where the word "boring" comes from.

>>714865698
Yes I can, even if we discount breaking in then all I need are for the bells to have been rung. Not even by the same person, one guy can go up and one can go down at the same time while I jack off outside the Parish

Patches bros, we're gonna have to abduct one of the femboys. Where do we keep him?

>half the posts completely ignoring the rules to post their heckin wacky /v/ rape adventures XD
anyways, this just depends on how smart the enemies are
>same AI as in the game
would be hard but feasible, you could just rush everyone to the bells while ignoring every enemy and you'd eventually get it
>realistic intelligence
I guess it wouldn't be impossible, but stealth would be the best option at this point. Killing any of the bigger monsters would be a nightmare, especially if they're not retarded like in the game

Join with me, in defiling as family! Together we shall violate their very hearts! I'll be selective castrating anons and seeing who has the best screams.

>no pyromancy
Might as well go back t-t

>>714865878
Non respawning enemies don't respawn after 24h so I think just getting some of the big roadblocks out of the way once and for all is better than trying to sneak past everytime.
And if the enemies are smart then the Hellkite Drake will be a huge problem. Even if it's just animalistic, it won't just sit in one location but actively hunt us, probably even just come to firelink shrinke and grill us all repeatedly.

>>714865326
>>714865437
For me it's Gwynevere's chamber

>>714866258
>everyone wants to jerk off to her
>a single troll is enough to throw a rock at the illusion, turn the whole city dark and piss off gwyndolin

>>714865660
>We could conquer the entire world easily.
Even the dragons? Even the GODS themselves?
With fucking nothing but firebombs?!

>>714862551
Redditor tourists propped it up hard

>>714866320
>>a single troll is enough to throw a rock at the illusion, turn the whole city dark and piss off gwyndolin
That's why I'll go there first and close the door you fucking WEIRDOS

My fellow freaks, murderers, and demons in human flesh. We are given this prime opportunity to indulge our nature. Do your part and slaughter anyone who even thinks of touching those bells. Let not one of them escape.

>>714866503
I have no desire to harm others

>>714866465
I'll lure sentinels up the jumbo elevator and have them slam me against the door until it opens enough for an arrow to slip through

>>714866503
Most of us are not psycho enough for shit like this despite the LARPed persona on 4chan. You included.

>>714866503
Look I'll kill some people for a laugh but this billy goats gruff of the bells shit is cringe

>>714866339
Yes.
Our ancestors subjugated the entire animal kingdom with nothing but rocks. Monkeys stoning apex predators en masse was enough to btfo every organism on earth. Monkeys throwing exploding rocks could conquer DS1.

>>714866503
>My fellow freaks, murderers, and demons in human flesh.
lol
lmao even
Don't be 14, kiddo.

>>714866725
I'm going to kill the likes of >>714866503 for fun.

raping all other anons ITT

>>714853504 (OP)
>shared with other anons ITT
so I'm getting perma invaded as soon as I step out right?

>>714855116
This. 5 fresh humans vs one undead soldier should be unbelievably easy. They are really uncoordinated and telegraph all their attacks. Just poke them with a spear.

Will we be forced to respawn every time we starve to death? I don't recall a lot of food or water being present in the game. Does sitting at a bonfire feed and hydrate you?

You'll really only get a half a day or so of good fighting ability before you're too weak and have to kill yourself to return to health if this is the case.

>>714866987
You can't reallt compare irl animals to dark souls enemies. The biggest animals humans hunted were braindead mammoths, compare that to something like a taurus demon whose sole purpose in life is to kill you and
>has good aim
>long range
>incredibly strong
>decently smart

>>714867408
Darkroot forest/basin has tons of edible creatures that respawn every 24h.

they hate this one simple trick

>>714867408
>I don't recall a lot of food or water being present in the game
One of Firelink's only landmarks is a well and the homes in Undead Burg have dining tables. Food and water are somewhere

>>714866587
>>714866725
>>714866852
>>714867057
>>714867063
Im gonna be neck deep in prime moralfag bussy

While we'd all probably die a couple of times, I don't see how it would be so impossible if we can bend the game logic a bit.

We can skip the capra demon by breaking the gate instead of needing the Master Key for example. If we stick together and form a good defensive line then fighting most enemies is totally possible.

Parrying does a lot of damage when an enemy is stabbed, now imagine 6 guys stabbing the enemy at once.

>>714867504
Yeah if the monsters are not constrained by video game AI then it will be significantly harder. Hollows are probably still fine since they're kinda zombie brained by lore and not exactly trained (undead soldier flailing around is evidence of that). But Taurus demon could as well be Nosferatu Zood from Berserk in terms of fighting ability.
With an axe.

>>714853504 (OP)
I sit down at the bonfire and do nothing for eternity.

>>714862551
Lol fromdrones got triggered by this post hard

>>714867596
There is like one pike drop in the game. If we count scavenged spears from the hollows that's still only enough for maybe a dozen anons.

>>714853504 (OP)
If you respawn what is the risk?
The worst thing that can happen if you get stuck anywhere but as long as you can off yourself you're alright.
Imagine of some anons capture you, sexually abuse you and won't let you die. That would be lewd

>>714867504
None of that matters when you are getting hit by 100 grenades every second. There wouldn't even be a taurus demon, just a stench of burnt fur and a puddle of goo.

>>714867626
You will wish you have never been born when I am done with you!

I propose that we moralfags band together and lock the degenerates in a cage or cell somewhere on the map. We'll have to chain them up so they can't kill themselves and respawn.

>>714866503
first thing we do is nail this fellow down to the floor and keep him alive so he can't respawn.

Will there be any girls?

>>714867943
quelaag will not be safe from me

>>714867628
>While we'd all probably die a couple of times, I don't see how it would be so impossible if we can bend the game logic a bit.
I did a no death run in Dark Souls. I'm fine.

>>714867771
You sound incredibly naive if you think death by swords, clubs, axes, claws or worse is painless.

>>714867943
There'll be this >>714867926

>anons cannot keep it in their pants for the max 2 weeks it would take for us to ring the bells with manpower and brute force

LFG queelag rape party

>>714867838
Yeah.

>>714867645
You'll go hollow in a matter of days if you don't have a goal like this

>>714868004
I don't care how fit you are. Try rolling perfectly 10 times, unless you are a pro-gymnast you're going to fail. And you don't have i-frames either.

>>714868121
>And you don't have i-frames either.
You don't know me.

>>714867780
assuming it's unable to run away. If it is then you'd have to trap it without it being able to break out, and we know that it can jump very fucking high

>>714853504 (OP)
i find carth and ask him how he poops

>>714867504
Taurus demon seems like a dumb animal with no deeper thought process. It should be fairly easy to make it fall down as it's swinging such a massive hammer on a narrow bridge.

>>714868051
>2 weeks
Why wait that long?
You won't be wearing pants for more than 2 seconds when I get ya

>>714867838
I'm not forming any groups. Doesn't matter which side you're on, you will always abuse your power and corruption settles in.
At least psycho raper fags are honest

How would this even work. If one anon makes it then the path is clear for everyone?

>>714868242
im pretty sure demons are smart in lore

>>714868242
No but we need to keep Taurus Demon alive to make him our femboy slut for the team moral!

How are we getting trough blight town? How poisonous is it? You'd have to build some fucking bridge to get to queelag. That could take a lot of time and effort

WHAT'S WITH ALL THE FUCKING?! BEING IN A DESOLATE HELLSCAPE SHOULD NOT GIVE YOU WOOD.

just going by this thread 90% of anons would go hollow in the first hour

>>714856370
YOU HAVE MY SWORD

>>714868527
Why not?

>>714853504 (OP)
i will gank anons respawning at the bonfire and steal their possessions

>>714868529
Gotta hollow out to make room for all the cream filling

>>714866503
yeah nah the rationals are tying you up gay boy

>>714868613
What for? Are you going to sell it and buy a nice house in the Berg?
Also moralfags will fuck you up pretty fast

>>714868613
You take their materials, I'll take their pride

>>714853948
BULLSHIT
RESTING AT A BONFIRE IS MAGIC EVEN IN THE LORE

FUCK THIS THREAD'S FAKE RULES
I'M HACKING THE ISEKAI SERVER, MODDING IN GUNS, AND SHOOTING UP FIRELINK SHRINE

PARRY THIS, MOTHERFUCKER

>>714867596
>phalanx
Manipula is better.

>>714854691
Just read the OP you faggot. It clearly say (or don't)

>>714868810
>some anon ruins the soul economy by soul duping at andre

>>714868114
When this happens, you can end me, anon.

>>714854056
Why would it bother you?
It hurts but you just wake up fine. It's overpowered. That thought alone would keep me going.

>>714867643
Make poison arrows and pepper the bastard with those. Its tough if its just one anon, but a good 10 anons would make a short work of him.
>bleeding arrows
Even better.
>have a sharpshooter anon
>hit the fucker in the eyes
>falls off the wall
GG NO RE.

Someone needs to make an RPG about isakaid /v/ anons.
There would be:
>Hopeless neets
>Vagarants just trying to just surrvive
>The psychos
>The gooner rapist cult
>And the united CHADS who work together, trying to escape this place!

What's stopping us from just creating a society of undead anons and advancing technology until we have muskets? The world already has late medieval technology from the 15th century, so advancing it to the 16th century and inventing muskets doesn't seem that difficult. At that point we just start colonizing the entire map.

>>714868964
Anon.... just throw shit at him

>>714868964
https://youtu.be/h63YO1cInQM?si=bLSvYBmA2uGmsnyw&t=430

>you share this world with all other anons ITT
You can see blighttown from firelink so we can make a big human ladder to lower our most bishi anon down to woo Quelaag while another runs for the bell. The undead burg doesn't have that many enemies so we can just all rush it and one or two are bound to get through while everyone else is getting stabbed by zombies.

>>714868810
When i saw that mod, i was genuinely happy.
>turning a japanese game into a Halo knockoff
Yes, YES.

>>714869014
Maybe you don't any lost ones at home but I want to go back to my gf

>>714854691
I was going to ESL-post but I legitimately don't know if the "(or don't)" technically points to "ring" or "go" participles.

>>714869083
Nope, fuck that, I'm building a rape camp with other like minded anons.

>>714854467
This guy is the chosen undead and I am following him until I inevitably get killed fighting the armored boar with like 20 other anons.

>>714869014
as soon as someone gives up they'll go hollow, more people will flood in but more hollows will be made so theoretically the few sane people left will just be swarmed by anons

>>714869060
I will not resort to stooping THAT low. I have some pride and dignity.

>>714869014
Following that line of technological advancement assumes we're procuring the same or comparable elements whereas Lordran craftsmen and smiths have access to magic which we do not. That could well be vital to working with things like titanite.

>>714869152
It means that you just can say fuck it and not ring the bells and stay in lordran forever.

>someone sets themselves up at Andres smithy. is extremely autistic and RPs as him but also seems to actually know how to smith so everyone lets it slide
>a few skinnyfags actually squeezed through the sens fortress gate and touch a bonfire inside
>a small group set up on the inside, trading rare serpent gear though the bars to those on the outside
>others ventured further in search of bussy and giant women and have never been heard from since
>first bell is dead easy to ring, burg is relatively settled and even has patrols that sweep up the respawning hollows. easy to find a group looking to mog the goyles
>swamp is full of men gone mad that didn't read the rules and are convinced they can learn pyromancy is they try hard enough
>settlement of trapped retards that touched the ash lake bonfire, they cope and tell themselves is actually the comfiest bonfire in the game
>everyone that lives in the area uses the hollow tree as a giant toilet, squatting over the edge and dropping deuces down on the ashlake fags for the lols. cinema they call it
>queelag is chained down and bred at all hours, you'd think the second bell would be easy because of this
>its actually heavily guarded by schizo redfags that formed a cult around not letting anyone leave "paradise"
>no one has actually escaped in decades

>>714869285
the other guys was pointing out that you have to ring them to get to Priscilla's feet. Can you get to Priscilla's feet?

>>714869010
When Dark Souls 1 first came out, threads like this were common.

An RPG about a bunch of negative nancy nerds would be good though.
Dead Rising 2 is the only game to have anything close. One of the survivor events is a bunch of turbo-nerds playing DnD and they are all personalities lifted straight from /v/.

>>714868947
>When this happens, you can end me, anon.
No, I can't. You'll respawn.

>>714868527
First thing on everybody's mind in war is rape, Anon.

>>714869502
Ok, vodkanigger

>>714868613
PVPfags are the first ones getting caged.

>>714853714
I genuinely cannot see a way to get to any of these places by sneaking.
Running is the only real way to make it through without constantly dying.
Assuming fog walls are game mechanics only and not 'real' you can run past the bosses too.

>>714868527
We anons are very QUIRKY and AUTISTIC! XD *holds up rape spork*

>>714869189
>until I inevitably get killed fighting the armored boar
I'll protect you by stabbing him in the pooper for critical damage

>>714869014
It's probably easier to just manufacture a bunch of bows and arrows. 100 anons shooting projectiles would absolutely destroy any boss or obstacle.

>>714869805
be my guest, you'll have a stinky sword for like... ever

>>714869386
You can just wait until some other anons ring the bells and open Sen's for you and the get to anor londo the intended way or try scale the mountain. But there's only one doll to get into the painted world and it someone ITT already has it by now probably.

>>714869931
Nah there's this lad beneath Firelink Shrine that can give it a cleanup

>>714869189
the boar is already on permafarm by the /fit/fags that feast on pork for the gainz
its a solved encounter

>>714869568
>PVPfags are the first ones getting caged.
Jokey on you, they enjoy that.

>>714869608
Rape is boring.
At least the psychotic murderhobos are fun.

>>714869421
And still be hollow? Then 'I will sit there for eternity' stands.

Why would you even want to go back

>>714870818
My dog.
And hanging out with rapists is boring and will get on my nerves.

>>714870818
the rape

>>714870867
Explain yourself right now

>>714870474
You'll just become one of the many undead zombie skellies

You have a heart of gold. Don't let them take it from you.

>>714870867
>>714870980
>rape
>rape
>implying
Most Anons are either skinnyfat weaklings or fatfaggots. Either way they are just larping. None of us ACTUALLY want to rape other Anons.

>>714867721
we can farm it, or make our own pointy sticks

>>714871105
>Most Anons are either skinnyfat weaklings or fatfaggots
That makes them easy to rape as well, though
It goes both ways here

>>714871105
speak for yourself

>>714871105
I still do not enjoy the company of sexual deviants.
Some rape jokes can be really funny like "LOL IM GONNA RAPE TAURUS DEMON" but if it is actually meant completely unironic like most folks in here, it's boring as hell.
I wanna hang out with higher quality people.

>>714853504 (OP)
Should be easy since you don't get locked into animations like a DS1 mook.

>>714853504 (OP)
Vigorously beat off at every bonfire so other anons catch a glimpse of my ghostly wank sesh. Then I got Anor Lando and stuff myself in Gwynevere’s chest.

>>714871312
I'm a sane non-rapist anon. We can hang out together. Shoot the shit. Train on how to kill skeletons. Gaze out at the landscape. Do a little rape, maybe.

>>714871312

Does the wider world exist? Or are we stuck in the bounds of the vidya map? There are ostensibly normal societies that still exist outside of Lordran. I propose a group of anons build a boat or carriage (pulled by enslaved rapefags) and we escape the hellhole to go live normal lives somewhere else.

>>714871660
Uh uh uh, fool me twice and all that

>>714871312
>I wanna hang out with higher quality people.
you mean higher quality rapists?

>>714871685
Considering that the wider world trears Lordran as a containment zone you might struggle to get out

its cute how people itt think rape is funny. shows that 4chan isnt completely dead yet and still getting young newfriends

>>714871921
It was never intrinsicly not funny

>moral faggots are abundant
>maybe 4-8 genuine deviants
>3 or so genuine psychopaths
Im gonna stick it in all 3

>>714862551
sus

>>714871921
I’d rape you first…or last…or not at all, as a matter of fact.

>>714871228
l-lewd

>>714872053
>Go down to the entrance of Queelag's fight
>Get to the maggots
>Shove one up my asshole
>Someone tries to rape me
>Shining dragon defense activates and rips their cock out
Become UNRAPEABLE.

I think it would be funny to kill some rapists in gruesome and horrid ways.

I will sex the Fair Lady and heal her with my semen

>>714856287
>have fun with mildred I guess
I will.

>>714872285
How ya doin' big guy? When do you think you started getting these thoughts?

>>714872285
How very rape-phobic of you to say that.

>>714853504 (OP)
>get bow
>farm burg
>buy arrows
>get drake tail sword
>ezmode two bells
We chillin senpai. Blighttown might get annoying but i know the way so whatev

I bring my computer with me, lock myself in the firekeeper hole and play vidya while the rest of you figure it out (for anyone asking the firelink bonfire provides electricity)

>>714871312
I'll rape you so well you'll forget it's actually rape

>>714872470
>buy arrows
No friendly NPCs. You'll have to craft them yourself or take them from archer hollows.

>>714872470
>buy arrows
Nigger you can't even read 5 sentences, you're not gonna make it

>>714871556
>Vigorously beat off at every bonfire so other anons catch a glimpse of my ghostly wank sesh.
kek

>>714872412
>has not bathed in hundreds of years
>knee deep in sewage 24/7
>utterly feral and stronger than most men

I could never be that desperate. Imagine the smell.

Now on the other hand, the serpent mages in Sens are female i believe...

>>714853504 (OP)
I take the old witch ring as my starting gift and suck on Quelaag’s tits. I’ll be the only one because everyone else chose the key or the bombs.

>>714872470
I'll sell ya arrows boy
We don't deal in souls here

Nothing personnel kid

>>714871921
>its cute how people itt think rape is funny
Ha, this Anon was raped

>>714872701
>Imagine the smell.

>>714872724
>Starting gift
you're going straight to firelink. The ony starting gift is the clothes you have on right now.

>>714872828
well why cant we have a starting gift? doesnt say shit in the rules about it

>>714872828
Hey, I want my starting gift. Don’t cheat me, you jew.

>>714872886
Probably for the same reason that you aren't picking a starting class or editing your body/face

>>714873016
>he didnt find the secret horse cock options
lol
lmao
get raped

>>714872886
Because I made da rules. You get isekaid to firelink shrine, not into some etheral character creation menu. you don't go to the undead asylum, you spawn at firelink and everything reeks of cum if this thread is any indication. now what?

>>714873078
i go curl up into a ball and trade shit with a random nest that spawns items. eat shit you cum crusted op

>>714873071
>he needed to edit that in
rofl

>>714871556
Would Gwynevere disappear if you just touched her or does it have to be an actual attack?

>>714872615
>>714872638
Reading is hard. I will do better in the future. In that case, buy them from other anons like
>>714872735
I will trade sexual favours is necessary.

Also do we get a starting gift or nah? Cause gimme that master key if so.

>>714873178
my dick counts as a weapon

>>714873229
No giantess boobs for you then

>>714873225
That does it WE GOT OURSELVES A SECOND MORALE FEMBOY

>>714853504 (OP)
Find something to moveswap with

write "illusory wall ahead" on a wall

Question: how do covenants work in this scenario?
I have a very autistic plan and it involves ash lake

>>714873178
>Would Gwynevere disappear if you just touched her
Only if your dick is hard

>>714874285
Does it require a non-hostile NPC?

>>714874460
Dammit I forgot about that part
I was planning on burninating niggas with one of the dragon stones but you can't exactly get those if the functionally-inanimate stone dragon in ash lake is out for lunch for the next 60 billion years

No healing and no levelling means any serious blow is gonna fuck someone over. I'll wander around putting anons out of their misery to minimise sanity loss. You don't wanna lose both legs down somewhere then have to die of thirst. Maybe I'll live long enough to see the bells rung so I can return home and brag about my PvP kdr.

>>714874835
But do bosses and enemies reset when there's a hundred anons running around? Anons would be able to respawn and win by brute force if damage carries over

>>714853504 (OP)
we form an army of anons and brute force it

>>714874460
Are any of the covenants accessible without being able to interact with "friendly" NPCs? I forget.
Guess it depends how it handles cases like Gwyndolin and Nito.

Not that most of them would be much use if you can't learn spells/miracles.

Congratulations for those who found the secret I placed this early. I thought it would take longer.
The world will close in 1 week. To those who made it: See you in the next one.

>>714853504 (OP)
that's easy enough, just get the jagged ghost blade, it's good enough to fuck shit up in a NG no spending souls playthrough

>>714874361
What a cruel world. I guess I'll try my luck with Priscilla then.

>>714853504 (OP)
Only thing to do is farm items from trash mobs and then form an army to bumrush every stronger-than-human enemy. Our numbers are our sole advantage, but the only advantage we need.

>>714875378
>just traverse a sunken city and kill literal ghosts bro, lmao
Once those transient curses are used (read: wasted), it's all ogre for New Londo Ruins.

>>714875017
I guess there might be a reset once everyone that entered the fog wall at the same time get got.

>>714875682
and most enemies can be singled out and baited to lock onto one anon while the rest just run past to the next target. we could probably achieve the goal with less than 100 anons dead.

>>714875203
>Nito is the only covenant since he's just sleepy and is an always hostile NPC
>everyone goes gravelord
>everyone realises they don't know shit about gravelording and are stuck on NG

>>714875959
Not if I get actually cursed in the sewers and carry you retards

>>714875258
Whatchu talkin bout, Willis?

>>714875258
Do majula next and the win condition is shrine of winter

Make the anons work for it and kill a few bosses