Thread 718932610

>2025
>still ZERO sumo games
justify this

>>718932610 (OP)
>Rank up to Maegashira
>Tear your ACL
>Forced to watch your rank get demoted back down to Sandame

>>718932610 (OP)
>mfw video games

>>718932610 (OP)
>dude I fucking HECKIN love watching low rank jobbers be literal slaves to high rank rikishi
do sloppa watchers really?

>>718932610 (OP)
>fat people: america
:|
>fat people: japan
:OOOOO

>ywn have one of these gorgeous ham beasts squat up and down your cock wrapped inside their massive asses
Why live

Imagine getting obese off a bunch of shitty rice

>>718932610 (OP)
LMAO if I was there I would have gone up to him and called him a fat loser. I would have gotten *this close* and whispered "You're worthless", then burst out laughing. I would have thrown rice balls and chop sticks at him, too. Then I'd run away when he chases me because I know he can't run far. Repeat next night.

>>718932947
What is he playing?

>>718932610 (OP)
The genre leaked with this.
Developers know this, real fans know this, I know this.
It seems to me you're a fakie

>>718934476
It's a playstation controller so God of War.

>>718934339
>Then I'd run away
Of course you would, bitchboy.

taking this opportunity to say that I miss Tochinoshin

>>718933697
sumo wrestlers are athletes, not some corn oil slurping shart in the marts.

>>718932610 (OP)
>Touching food with your bare hands
Disgusting. I give the same shit to indians and to anyone else who does this.

>>718935026
>athletes
lmao half of them are dying of diabetes and other health issues, 80% of wrestlers don't even work out, have you seem their training regime? it's fucking wack.

>>718935062
am*ricans are so insane in the head that equate touching food with your obviously clean hands = aids, fucking retard.

>>718932610 (OP)
Not a single anon mentions this piping hot steamed rice.

This place is full of retardsf

>>718935062
This, if you don't use cutlery to eat hamburgers and pizza then you are a subhuman pig

>>718933697
Fat from fake american food and fat from natural food are completely different.

>>718935026
>athletes
They are basically Japan's equivalent of considering cows holy. In a culture where most people used to be just skin and bones fat people are amusing

>>718933697
fat people in america waddle from their car to the mall and shit themselves
fat people in japan lift every day and face each other in ritual combat

>>718935234
>half of them are dying of health issues
So do other athletes

>>718935341
Man you're an uncultured moron.

>>718935026
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cS_lzYjLgYA This video is eye-opening

>>718935342
>waddle
Don't they ride those strange storage trucks? That barely carry their weight.

>>718935467
But he's still right, and you will never be Japanese.

>>718935297
There is a difference between touching food you are going to eat yourself in the moment and touching food someone else will eat or save for later.

>>718935234
All humans are dying to some kind of health issues. That's what death means, losing your health and ability to live.

Sumo wrestlers live a disciplined life. But I agree being fat is not worth of praise, but disdain.

>>718934615
BIG
BOTTOM
BROS

>>718932610 (OP)
Uhh bros? I thought it was literally impossible for Asians to be fat???

>>718934953
Same, but Aonishiki might be as cool as him one day

>>718932610 (OP)
>still ZERO sumo games
What would a sumo game even be like? I think there was a sumo game on wii iirc, but what will it be, beside spamming a button to push your opponent off the arena? Do you mean a sumo MC? How would that work? What genre would it be in?

>>718932610 (OP)
Sumo is actually pretty simple in terms of its rules, it wouldn't make a very good stand alone game.

>>718936914
>What genre would it be in?
A 3D platformer with le funny fatman jumping on his diapers.

>>718936279
Aonishiki is already way cooler than that eye poking cheater

>>718932610 (OP)
Sumo Princess maker would be incredible

>hoshoryu is going to be mogged by onosato next basho
>AGAIN
Hoshosisters...? Is his widdle toesie woesie feewing better yet?

>>718932610 (OP)
>not a single mention of THE game
/v/ros...

>>718937684
I was a Hoshoryu fan, but did we really need to promote him? Terunofuji only showed up like twice a year so we were already used to not having a yokozuna.

>>718933697
There are fat athletes in America, they're just pumped with steroids and put in football. Sumos are just more honorable and natural

>>718932610 (OP)
Sumo has made plenty of racing games

I never realized how cool sumo was compared to like boxing and that mma shit, they aren't just animals beating eachother nearly to death

>>718935062
Paulie Walnuts over here

>>718934339
>I would have gotten *this close* and whispered "You're worthless"
You're a mean, mean, insecure person. Some people can't help being fat, it's genetic (I have fatness in my family and still clinically overweight and have a dad bod even though I consume 700-1000 calories a day).
>I would have thrown rice balls and chop sticks at him
Like the autistic sperg menece you are. You need a tardwrangler. kys.

>>718937018
All the most popular games are simple as fuck.

>>718934615
I don't think Canada has ever put out any entertainment of value

>>718932610 (OP)
>any athlete sim
>80% of the game should be painful work making/staying in the weight limit

>>718933697
Sumo wrestlers don't have visceral fat instead they store it under their skin, aka sub cutaneous fat

>>718938423
what about trailer park boys

>>718934953
>just picks up his opponents and toss them out the ring

>>718938479
Honorary American media

>>718938423
norm macdonald

>>718935278
Americans live rent free in your mind, they touch food with (washed) bare hands all the time just not in a commercial setting.

>>718932610 (OP)
There's a really weird series of Sumo games on PS2 actually. You control them using only the analog sticks and through combinations of light/hard presses and alternating directions you're able to do every move in sumo. I actually made a discord once just to try and find people to play it with, but nobody ever joined so I eventually gave up.

The last game in the series is "Nihon Oozumou Gekitou Honbashohen" and to this day I still can't fucking find anybody to play it with me. It has all these weird mechanics and stuff I just can't figure out.

>>718935341
>thinks sumo is just getting fat
literally have to control you and the other guy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxq_pvgoQKE

>>718938639
>commercial setting
cool goalposts, the sumo is cooking for himself and his buddies

>>718938635
Fuck I do have to give them Norm. Norm was a treasure

>>718937036
>A 3D platformer with le funny fatman jumping on his diapers.
Sounds like a bad game that does not do justice to the noble and majestic art of sumo.

>>718934953
Now THIS is what a true oji-san should look like.

>>718938423
Super Duper Sumos was DIC which was a French-American company. It aired on Nickolodeon it wasn't Canadian.

>>718937036
Why do people keep calling mawashis diapers? That's so retarded. You might as well start calling bikinis and panties "diapers" as well.

>>718938423
Ed Edd n Eddy is probably the only exception to the rule.

?

>twerks
>dominates
>gets told to stop twerking
>fails
Why did they oppress our boy?

>>718934190
unironically hot

>>718933697
>whaaaat!?!? people prefer strong fats over lazy faaats?! :000
kys

>>718941420
I didn't like him
but I hated kayo's retreating even more so shishi is second worst to me

>>718941420
twerking its such a tacky taste

>>718937992
I just lost the game

>>718938658
that rough control scheme has a long history, tsuppari oozumou for the famicom worked something like that

>>718932610 (OP)
Just make sumo verision of Uma Musume:
>all sumos are high school girls
>they're all based on real wrestlers
>they fight in bikinis and they can come off
That's a billion dollar idea right there.

>>718938423
they made Reboot

>>718933697
>fat people: japan
https://youtu.be/2NwyjoBXpVQ?t=13

>>718938639
Delusional

Only shitty fast food restraunts go the extra mile of using gloves. Restraunts wont do it at all because it robs you of the feel that allows you to handle the food properly.

>>718944931
This.

>>718932610 (OP)
>22 year old sumo wrestler is so close to death from being fat his career is over after one injury
>also you don't actually make any money and live in poverty

Seriously what is wrong with japanese people lol

>>718945324
I used to work as a line cook at a bistro bar my teenage years, and this is true. We were told to only wear gloves when prepping ingredients outside the kitchen or in areas where customers could see us. We touched your food A LOT with our bare hands to make it look nice and Instagram-worthy.

>>718946401
classic toad-style

>>718945607
>>718944832
wakatakakage is too good

>>718935862
does your mother cook with gloves? Assuming your mother made you proper meal instead of mac and cheese

>>718945607
Is natto back? I used to be in the discord but it got yanked like a year ago

Wacky RE clone where one of the characters can wear a sumo tshirt that lets him sumo slap zombies to death

>>718946843
yes

>>718946401
new meta

>>718949147
What is happening here

>>718937018
fundamental simplicity is great for a videogame though

>>718937992
>sumotori
same dev as toribash or am i retarded?

>>718949725
belt came loose so ref paused to retie it
a secure grip could win you the match

>>718937018
>>718937992

>>718949725
if their mawashi (apron/underwear) starts to comes loose, the referee can pause the match and re-tighten it. then they resume.

it's basically a 20 feet long silk cloth. It's used in most belt fighting so it has to be tight, and getting your dick out is an auto loss ( but obviously it almost never happens)

>>718938423
Kids in the Hall
https://youtu.be/WNB0TT5AEGE?si=UPK4NnHx2NyE2WmU&t=195
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkDRZrZhE-Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HO47aYGJ738

>>718932610 (OP)
I wish I was a big fat guy.

>>718945607
What's the little referee guy supposed to do if things get heated? Get crushed between them?

>>718932610 (OP)
>>still ZERO sumo games
dont sumo matches last like 20 seconds? and they fight once a day? would be a really weird game.

Like you play for 20 seconds and then the other 23.5 hours you have to eat food and nap

>>718932610 (OP)
I heard Japan finally got a Japanese Yokozuna again. Is he any good or were they so desperate they just gave it to someone so people stopped asking why all the Yokozouna are Mongorians?

>>718934953
I heard he would've been the first white(?) yokozuna if he didnt have career ending injuries early

>>718951354
you need to be big, fat, and strong

>>718938280
my favorite description of Sumo is that its like watching 2 mountains crash into eachother. Really unique experience. And it ends as fast as it starts so you dont need to watch 2 guys play tag for an hour or hug on the floor for 23 minutes,

>>718933697
>fat people: america

How do they wipe?

>>718951907
>6'5"
so a little over

>>718952098
>2025
>wiping

>>718935062
Washed hands are more sanitary than disposable gloves. Especially because those gloves aren't swapped out for every new order.

>>718935234
Sumo health issues primarily arise after they retire because they change their lifestyle without adjusting their diet.bot that their previous caloric intake is super healthy but it is way better than people assume.

>>718949147
REST HOLD

REST HOLD

REST HOLD

REST HOLD

>>718935062
>WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING MICROPLASTICS WHEN HANDLING MY FOOD!?

>>718951907
>d*ath
Who keeps censoring shit like this

>>718951907
>$310 million
Fucking clown world man

>>718932610 (OP)
Literally underage
https://archive.org/details/SuperSumoWrestling2

>>718952481
Must be a strange feeling for a parent. On one hand, you lost your child. On the other, doing so made you so rich you won't ever have to work again.

>>718951575
Things don't get 'heated', they're not nogs.

>>718952238
These are useless when you've had an extra sloppy shit

>>718952594
That too, must be fucking disturbing.
But despite the fact that the park shouldn't have even allowed him on the ride the sum is outrageous.

>>718934615
Why was this obscure show shilled so fucking hard?

>>718952425
>Who keeps censoring shit like this
People who want the algorithm to spread their tweet/tiktok. Imagine if swearing on 4chan meant you couldn't get (You)s, every post would be su*c*de and d**th

>>718952826
>deny entrance to Tyrone: get sued for racism and weight discrimination
>let Tyrone enter and he gets turned into a hamburger: get sued
You cant win

>>718952946
All to protect poor advertiser-san.
It's a gay timeline we live in.

>>718952946
>su*c*de and d**th
You know it wasn't even that long ago that suicide and death were just normal words that didn't warrant censoring in ANY context. What the fuck happened?

>>718953024
What if you only let Tyrone in after making him sign a writ where he acknowledges the risk he puts himself into and waivers any claims?
Suppose courts would throw those out too...

>>718953090
>What the fuck happened?
Pewdiepie called someone the n-w*rd on stream

>>718953143
>Tyrone lacked the legal expertise to understand the document so its condidered null

>>718938423
>blocks your path

I just watch these half an hour recaps that NHK puts out everyday during the big tourneys (so 6 a year?).
Everyday like clockwork for 15 days i get to see the 21 matches of the day without any of the heheheheh fat, and with the commentary of somebody that knows the audience for those vids are casual as fuck so they explain a lot.
I dont really follow news or anything about the sport but those 15 days every two months i really enjoy sumo

>>718935062
you have never cooked a meal in your life

>>718951764
Dont care about strength, I just want fat.

>>718937992
These retards don't know true kino. Don't bother.

>>718953090
>>718953090
>what happened
dystopian corporate enshitification of nearly all digital spaces.

>>718934339
he would laugh because he makes more money and gets more bitches than you.

>>718934339
you would get slapped in the side of the head so hard you'd go deaf

>>718951575
He's there to go YOOOOOUUUUUUU *doink*

>>718952238
>>718952797
They're great. Mine heats the seat and the water. Plus you can press a button to move the nozzle around. Gets most of it off with a fraction of the paper.

>>718952594
They're black, they'll blow it in no time.

>>718951575
It's not like they're trapped in a confined space kek. Like just walk away nigga

>>718953578
Same. Been watching for 3 years with 3 other friends.

>>718953578
you could go on the sumo threads on /sp/, they're alright. They only have the threads during tournaments though.

/v/ threads suck though and this one got derailed.