Thread 719974934

I just want you all to know that I just finished this dogshit.

What an aggressive dogshit this game was.
6/10.

^ brown hands typed this post

when you say "dogshit" do you actually mean "tortoise-shit"?

>>719974934 (OP)
i gave up on the first area. that knight on horseback was already too much

>>719975432
>Didn't just go somewhere else

Fucking retard. You shouldn't be allowed to play video games.

I dropped it after killing the castle boss. I just felt there is no objective. I usually don't give a shit about plot in video games, actually i prefer to be as little talking as possible but in elden ring they went too far. Every NPC speaks in riddles and cryptic shit and I'm not a big fun of the open world gimmick, it doesnt work that well in soulslike games in my opinion. I just couldn't immerse myself in the world and the character because I don't even understand who he is. In dark souls i was undead prisoner, in dark souls 2 i was the cursed traveler from land far away that looks to break the curse, dark souls 3 I didn't play, and in elden ring, what exactly are the tarnished ones? I imagine all the problems stem from From Software depending too much on George RR Martin. I know some people believe it was just pure marketing to include him but my head canon is they actually expected him to do more writing. And the fatman being a lazy hack he is probably came up with "OOOOH THE ELDEN RING" line and fucked off back to eating sleeping and shitting.

I'm tired of "hard" games that aren't actually hard but tedious.

>>719975561
Tarnished = Canadians
Lands Between = England
You and other Canadians got summoned back by the Queen to kill her inbred children and become the new Lord of Bonglandistan.

>>719975504
was just bait. i didn't even try when i realized it's not meant to be beaten yet. refunded anyway because i didn't like the game

>>719975561
tl;dr

>>719975727
Yea, all games can be challenging to some degree, but fighting in ER just tired me out. I beat it once while exploring a majority of the side dungeons, did a second playthrough on a new character, and just did dungeons with items I knew I wanted, and then just lost interest forever. Haven't even bought the expansion, probably won't for a few more years.

>>719974934 (OP)
>6/10
>dogshit
Gaming journalist-core post

>>719975561
It kind of seems the opposite. GRRM came up with all the demigods and their lands and relations which is for me at least one of the main interesting things about Elden Ring and then From just took all that, shittified it and made it into a Dark Souls zombie world, which is why it feels so pointless in game.

>>719974934 (OP)
The biggest problem with Elden Ring is that it is the most creatively bankrupt possible version of "Dark Souls: Open World Edition" that Miyazaki could have made. There are no towns, villages, human encampments or otherwise any sentient things worth ruling in this game where the main objective is ruling the world. I know the instinctual cry of Soulslurpers here is 'muh Skyrim' as if Skyrim invented towns in RPGs, but it really does shatter immersion when the game is claiming to give us access to every corner of The Lands Between. If Fromsoft was less pozzed, they could have made a story about rescuing a princess, but we'll never get that from the A/B bodytype company now because EVERYTHING has to be some fucking will to power narrative even when there is nothing to wield power over.

None of the bosses interact with the open world in any interesting ways whatsoever. There are no bosses who roam, no bosses who stalk you, no bosses you have to hunt, no bosses who flee, no bosses who attempt to ensnare you by feigning being NPCs, or anything. In this game where the only thing meaningful distinguishing it from any other Souls game is the vast open world, somehow, every fight is just a completely standard brawl in a fog wall arena. The fact that they have no good ideas for difficulty left so all of them need to have cartoonishly delayed attack animations just to fuck with the player is icing on the slop cake.

>>719977114
There are no traversal mechanics of any kind that did not already exist in previous Souls titles, which themselves were remarkably limited in how the player was able to interact with the environment. The horse offers only speed, but the player has no means to swim (which means that the vast lake vista in Liurnia loses incredible amounts of majesty once you realize the whole thing is really just a giant puddle), no means to climb, no mechanics relating to heat, cold, or anything at all to affect gameplay. It is an open world game with fewer traversal mechanics than Ocarina of Time. I understand that Souls' whole appeal used to be its minimalistic mechanics, but why even try to make a game of this scope if the devs had no plans at all to do anything different with it whatsoever? Just to make it bigger because that's what Skyrim and Breath of the Wild did?

What was once creative and new and immersive is now reduced to a set of cheap mechanics slapped on top of any backdrop without any concern for how it conjoins or coheres.

Filtered

>>719975727
This. This one isn't even hard. It's "hard". As in you have to activelly not use anything the game gives you to make it difficult.

>>719976373
What's more bizarre about this is that it's pretty clear GRRM created a sort of Greek pantheon cast of characters who were clearly intended to be NPCs you could interact with, talk to, ally yourself with in a factional war type of scenario, and Fromsoft could think of absolutely nothing to do with them except turning them all into retarded zombie enemies.

What's even more bizarre is that the one bitch Miyazaki fell in love with and made it impossible for the player to harm, Ranni, was clearly intended to be the most explicitly evil by GRRM.

>>719976373
could be, either way it's dogshit.
also I agree with this anon
>>719977114

I would actually prefer for them to make elden ring dark souls 4 instead, because it's the same fucking game anyway and their attempts to make it seem different are just laughable
we don't have bonfires, we have sites of grace
we don't have souls, we have runes

like they didn't even bother to came up with new mechanics, they just changed the names of them. also i wouldn't have a problem with this if they actually make it more believable, but what the fuck are even sites of grace? is there even any lore behind them? they just feel lazy. at least nioh had shrines so it of course it was a blatant rip off of bonfire mechanic but at least it made sense given the setting. and that's another problem with elden ring? what's the setting? bunch of random locations connected with each other. I know the explanation is worlds colliding or whatever but that's literally the most boring and uninteresting plot element because it could explain everything and nothing

This story feels like a fanfic of Naruto's final arc.

>>719977976
They steal a lot from Naruto.

>>719974934 (OP)
Why do Fromsoftware games elicit seethe threads at an incomparable rate compared to other games? Seems some filtered homo wants a public cry session about them every few hours

>>719978557
>Morgott dying like Madara was no coincidence
Funny

>>719974934 (OP)
I just want to let OP know that I finished the CoD WW2 campaign earlier today. That one was dogshit as well. How the fuck do you make the D-Day invasion of Normandy boring? How the fuck am I a US soldier clearing out bunkers in fucking Normandy and the only sounds I hear are the weapons fired in my vicinity and all I see is a series of trenches and bunkers? Fucking dogshit is right. 5/10, fighting Nazis in forests is still fun but fuck stealth sections.

>>719977114
Yeah, the open world format is worst aspect of the whole game. The actually good bits of the map like Stormveil Castle, Volcano Manor, and Haligtree are cordoned off from the open world. While the picturesque open world bits like Lake Liurnia are a massive chore to navigate. It never ceases to amaze me how much praise this game received for its open world despite it being almost entirely generic and underutilized. The whole crafting/resource system is one of the worst I've ever experienced and added nothing to the game.

Ever since Bandai-Namco did that whole "Prepare to Die" marketing campaign, Fromsoft has become a cultural symbol for hardcore gamers. Which isn't a bad thing I suppose, but its fanbase is so polarized against casual games that they ironically judge Fromsoft by low standards. Literally all they had to do for ER to receive massive praise is make a generic open world and NOT throw quest markers everywhere (something BotW already demonstrated much more elegantly) or make the combat easier.

Their fans are so terrified of casualization that they forgive tons of lazy, generic, or clunky design. Need I remind everyone that a full third of the quests were broken/uncompletable on release and no one called it out because they were too afraid of being labeled a "filthy casual" for missing some secret unlock.

>6/10
>dogshit

>>719979202
5/10 is horseshit
4/10 is bullshit
3/10 is cat shit
2/10 is bird shit
1/10 is your momma's cookings

>>719974934 (OP)
Based. Elden Slop being called out for what it really is.

>the shazam poster is still at it
This needs to be studied,I could have grandkids and just randomly remember this board and I bet he will still be at it just like the Dishonored e ding and PS2 emulator guy

How come after I call your shit talk bait, THEN everyone just doubles down and agrees it's shit?
Do you really think about me that much?

>>719979540
Holy FUARK. Shazam also hated the copy pasted bosses and dungeons? Pretty based of him.

>bro just don't use any summons, mimic tear, the flask of wonderous shit, your OP gear with anime moves, and specially never level yp your vitality
>a-also turn on invasions please, w-what are you, a non elden ring enjoying type of guy?

>>719979135
The other day I googled MathewTrannytosis to see what he was doing with his paypig's money. He is apparently trying to release a dogshit gameboy style game. It baffles me how he was taken seriously back then. Goes to show "vidya critique" is just retards doing mental gymnastics to entertain the knuckle draggers of society.

>>719980004
>bro just install the "Make Elden Ring good good" mod. I swear you will like it

>>719980172
The fact that he held himself to actually releasing a game puts him in the top 1% of game critics.

>>719977114
There’s literally no open world game better than ER that’s purely about combat. I don’t want to play a Fromsoft game and worry about towns. ER isn’t perfect but what you want is the Witcher 3 but with actual good combat. Idk nigga play a western game.

>>719974934 (OP)
should I give up at the giant mountain this area is ass

>>719980529
Don't give up, Skeleton!

>>719980510
>"Idk nigga"
>nigga
>your opinion
>into the trash

>>719980510
Yeah, no JRPG has ever had a town before.

>>719980510
Elden Ring has good combat?

>>719980510
Such good combat that people don't even want to come back from Nightreign back into the main game now.

I'mnta but I want Dark Souls combat jot Bloodborne with shields and other stupid OP shit.

Dark Souls 2 had the best combat

>>719978557
>>719977976
>b-but naruto
Kishimoto did it first.

>>719978557
That's a pretty far reach, even for ai.

>they are connected because they have alien gods.
lol k?

>>719974934 (OP)
>empty giant open world thats 10x too big
>repeated enemies and bosses over and over and over and over and over and over again

nice game lol
guess gotta make it 100hours long somehow

music was goog

>>719975561
you kill stuff and absorb their power. The objective is to go around and abosrb the power off all the demi god bosses then bring it back to the erd tree where either the tree boss kills you and reabsorbs the power you absorbed or you become elden lord. Its like a fish farmer letting a bunch of little fishes out and letting them all eat each other up and get big so he can eat the biggest one later.
>>719979135
>crafting doesnt add anything
wrong

>>719984487
When you actually get good at the combat systems then it can be fun, yes.

>>719975561
This is totally true, and actually, with hindsight, im wondering if the entire plot to elden ring was written by AI. ive never been exposed to media before that gave me that totally uncanny feeling of something disjointed and half connected and so incoherency. i really think that maybe they used some kind of LLM to write this game. Thats my main gripe with elden ring. it has the bones to bean all time game, but theres no life in it. its totally void of anything human. a good story wouldve propelled it to the top tier
idk maybe its because east asians are bugs and have no souls too

>>719986352
And Naruto copied it from Halo, btw.

>>719989607
The whole purpose of crafting is padding out rewards. So instead of actually finding a useful item you find a fraction of a useful item that you can later combine with several other fractions of a useful item. It's something Elden Ring has to resort to, much like reusing bosses, because the digital real estate is too big for the amount of gameplay the developers made.

>>719990282
This cat isn't real. It's actually Photoshopped.

>following a guide
>reach another "we'll revisit this quest later" part
God, Lord.

>>719974934 (OP)
>6/10.
Yes it is the second best game from Fromsoft. Only Sekiro is better.

>>719980529
The level after mountaintops is great
>>719990735
>following a guide
You didn't beat the game

You know what this game is missing? Fucking markings on the map indicating quests and NPCs.
No I am not fucking joking. It sucks monkey shits when you miss a quest because you forgot to buy an item from Mcbungos the Fallen when he was in the west side of the map in a dark swamp surrounded by mosquitos.

>>719990996
Because it's super fun to see messages indicating NPC locations everywhere when they aren't in your game.
I actually gave up the game in 2022 because of this bullshit.
And the NPC in question was Hyetta. The bitch that gives you the bad ending.

ITT retards out themselves as halfwits and shitters

The best part was cheesing the field enemies with mount ride bys, since the recycled ancient assets don't know how to react to moving targets, otherwise the game was ass

>>719991516
No balls to be more concrete?

>>719975561
I didn't care for the story at all either. I didn't finish the game, but the most I really had to go on was that I was The Guy vying for godhood in a realm that existed between life and death. Somehow, they made that story very boring for me to experience in first person.

I thought the level design was pretty bad, too. The open world spread the parts of the game I actually enjoyed over empty expanses and gave me a very boring horse to ride on in them.
There was such a glut of consumables that I couldn't bring myself to care enough to actually use any of them, especially not when I was already steamrolling through everything by just playing as a guy from Dark Souls 4.

I loved the other Souls games but thought this one genuinely just sucked.

>>719974934 (OP)
6/10 is pretty high for what one considers dogshit.

>>719993068
I have low standards

What do you call it when you hate a something but you can't stop talking about it and that said something ends up living rent free inside your head for the rest of your life?

>>719993640
>a something
Retard.

>>719993905
I'm innocent. I used Elden Ring's message system to write that. That's all.

Stop replying to yourself, bitch. People with 4chanX can see it.

>>719996110
wtf why are you hacking me? That's private information.

You're doing it again. holy shit you retard.

>>719996214
If only you knew.

I'm scared.

>>7199763734
Miyazaki can't write anything involving living characters. He tried with Sekiro and then gave up. Being an unnamed unimportant character with no actual plot was cool up until bloodborne, it's stale now

>>719996963
Who the fuck are you replying?

>>719996963
It's exclusively a Miyazaki problem, too. Armored Core 6 had the best characters and story of any Fromsoft game made in the past decade and it's the only one Miyazaki didn't direct.

I don't know why Miyazaki even involved GRRM if he was just going to enshittify everything he wrote with the same sort of Zanzibart shit they always do.

Funny how Patches is completelly misseable if you miss his man cave.

Who the fuck tied Dung Eater?

>>720001223
He tied himself to appear like a victim.