Thread 724662960

This thread is a claim staked by the Tau Empire as a part of the 5th Sphere Expansion. Our ultimate goal is to enrobe the galaxy in the Greater Good, and then - and only then - can the Tau get a good video game where they aren't vestigial on another faction. No, Fire Warrior does not count.

I love alien babes so much.

>>724662960 (OP)
I LOVE TAU PUSSY RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

>>724662960 (OP)
That manlet found a Tau that was taller than him?

>>724663747
Games Workshop lied to you. All Tau are several feet taller than the average Human, and female Tau find Human men to be irresitable.

>>724662960 (OP)
Why are you posting this and making me sad knowing that I don't have a hot alien wife?

Tau are canonically much shorter than the average human. Your Tau gf would be a womanlet compared to you.

>>724664230
You're saying that like it's a bad thing

>>724664230
My dick believes otherwise.

hyper sized blue alien honkers...

>>724664230
As long as she could still manhandle me with ease its a-ok

>Tau
Not even worthy of being a footnote on the galactic scale

Just to keep this VIDEO GAMES related so I can continue to post huge blue tits at a later time, pitch me your Tau game.

>AC6 style mech combat game with Battlesuits

>>724664452
>Is big
>Is blue(?)
>Is female(?)

This is what you're looking for, right?

>>724664481
there's a spess mahreen thread on the catalog, go larp there

>>724662960 (OP)
I can't wait for Dark Heresy to have a cute female tau companion (romanceable)

How come it’s never an alien dude with a human girl

>>724664674
Bitch you know why, don't ask retarded questions.

>>724664845
These Tau memes are getting more bizarre with each passing day.

>>724664617
40k is about the Imperium fighting Chaos. Cope, xenofag.
>>724664674
Alien women belong to human men. Alien men belong to incinerators.

>>724664674
Because /v/ is full of very insecure dudes

what do sweaty tau boobies smell like
asking for a friend

how many holes do Tau have?

>>724666257
2. No, the Y on their head isn't a hole.

>>724665618
Blueberries, always blueberries.

Human men teaching the tau proper melee combat so they aren't bullied.

>>724667187
>posts a fucking sample of an image literally less than 10 posts above his

>>724667371
Yeth.

>Has a caste system
>Loves mechs
>Are considered aliens
>Have a subfaction that goes against the main one
>Allows those to assimilate and join their ranks
Greetings fellow Clanners.

>>724668285
>tfw no King Crab or Daishi or Fafnir made in the Tau style

>>724668285
It's not really assimilation when they take the losers as slaves.

>>724668285
i would kill for an in-depth detailed mechwarrior 2 mercenaries type game in the 40K universe

>>724669002
>I would kill for a better game in a worse setting
but why?

>>724662960 (OP)
Tau are nothing like that.

>>724669213
yeah they look like this

>>724669431
>really our

>>724669213
Yea they look like this.

>>724669213
Considering the alternative is modern GW canon. . .

>>724664230
Based, thats a good thing

>Animefied Tau
Post the actual Tau, you cowards.

>>724669876
Sorry, my mistake, here you go.

>>724670125
I said the ACTUAL Tau

Such a useless faction in the grand scheme of things. Same goes for Votann and Eldar. If you're not part of the Imperium, or an immediately existential threat to the survival of the Imperium you might as well not be a faction.

Eldar could be good but GW never gave them the impetus to be a consistent enemy engaging in straight up fights against the Imperium and other factions. Craftworlders have the giant Titans and tanks and Dark Eldar have the disposable troops, but they both lack for what the other has and thus always looks stupid when they end up in the titanic battles that make the setting cool. Craftworlders can do okay in a straight up fight but look stupid losing countless precious lives, Dark Eldar don't care at all about their soldiers dying, they can be brought back with Vampire pain magic, but then they lack the superweapons to match anyone in a straight up fight, despite being one of the most technologically advanced species in the Galaxy.

>>724670239
You're right, please excuse me. This should be sufficient for your request.

>>724670252
>Eldar could be good
No they couldn't. Eldar are only ever remembered for porn, and rightly so. They're a waste of a faction from top to bottom.

>>724670252
40k was always a shittier Fantasy, but retarded slop is what sells.

>>724670252
that is just GW being retards that find golden eggs
I can't wait for the 3d print /biz/ness to grow larger and larger to make them bleed.

>>724670551
I like Space Pirates. I like Space Vampires. You could cut out the females entirely and I'd still like Dark Eldar conceptually as a villain faction. Their only issue is that their goals typically only incentivize raiding when big battles with 90% casualties on both sides is the whole point.

>>724670601
Some people like Sci-fi more. I generally prefer big guns and power armor over swords and bows. Fantasy is definitely the far more Cohesive setting but if it comes down to watching any random fight between 2 groups of literally who then the baseline of conflict in 40k is more entertaining to me.

>>724664230
It depends on the caste.

>>724670932
I feel like Wyches and Succubi would be more fun as Murder Geisha as opposed to colosseum gladiatrixes.

>>724670675
Who let the fire warriors watch 80s mech anime again?

>>724671702
I dunno but they should do it more often.

>>724670932
Eldar =/ Dark Eldar
Dark Eldar are a perfect faction; they've got the looks, they've got the tech, they've got the playstyle, hell they even got the lore, they've got everything they need to be a properly threatening faction interacting and warring with other factions at the drop of a hat. You can basically include them in any story with little to no required set-up; suddenly the lightning fast slavers popped out and started grabbing people. At their core Dark Eldar are easily a fantastic faction for 40k.
But their cousins fucking suck and should've been written out years ago.

Nids are generic bug faction and Tau are generic grounded non special science faction since humans already have a thing and it's being the fanatical faction right?

>>724672093
Tau are the combined arms faction, the one that actually acts as a sort of tactical military. Instead of human wave tactics or screaming retards or muh special super soldier boys. Of course this isn't as exciting as magic powers or being a robot skeleton so they got looked down on.

Death Guard fan here, here is one of my models I've made. Be honest about it
if it looks wonky, understandable since I am monochromatic colorblind and cannot see color, I have my gf help me paint by choosing what should go where. I don't do highlights yet but still learning.

>>724672342
It's nice but this is more a post for /40kg/.

>>724672209
Also them not being le grimdark also they are pretty weak as hell compared to the other factions for the most part, they are improving but not enough

>>724672209
They should have just made the votann as an auxiliary psyker+heavy armor melee for Tau instead of being their own faction.

>>724672513
or double down on the dwarvin shtick

I deserve a taucow wife

>>724671885
Yeah I mostly agree with that. From a purely narrative sense Dark Eldar are perfect as adversaries and Commoragh is a cool place. I just think from a game sense, where you are typically running armies into each other head to head, they kind of lack a sensible modus operandi. It feels like for Dark Eldar to be involved in a typical 40k battle something as gone terribly wrong.

Sure sometimes there is no avoiding it if the cool shit you want to steal is on a planet protected by a Space Marine company and an Imperial Guard Regiment or 6. I guess I just think they should have a few more tools for head on fights. A titan class unit of their own would be nice, whatever it would be. Preferably not just a bigger Space Yacht.

>>724672460
They're grimdark, just not grimderp. Like HOA some writers say the average lifespan of Ultramar humans is 30, which is way better than average for the Imperium, or that most works somehow work 23 hours a day. They just haven't had time for all the retarded bullshit to be written yet.

I do like the Tau simply for the fact that it is a good faction to have for a grimdark setting
This one species that is probably closest to the modern day humans trying their best to have diplomatic relationships, trying to expand, and have grander visions for the future where everyone can live in peace under one flag, however, they are but a single spec of an ember of a fire on a beach close to being blown out by winds and water of the rest of the galaxy, that being deamons, the imperium, and other xenos. They are a slight, and I mean miniscule light within the dark that could be a better future, and all they have to show for it is constant death, disease, and nightmares that are made manifest that will eventually kill them either by coincidence, or another faction has had enough of them.

Sick of this propaganda depicting human males as sex objects.

>>724672891
The Tau are a wicked regime walking the same path of failure that caused the dark age of technology. They aren't a light of the galaxy, or a better way forward.

>>724672796
I'll be honest I much prefer the classical Tau look of the pure red ayyy lmao eyes. Now they're giving Shadowsun white sclera and distinct pupils like a human's and other Tau too and it just doesn't sit right with me.

>>724672891
well yeah humanity became way too unique to be the standard or default tactical faction in sci fi settings with neutral to good morals so Tau does it instead
>>724672796
Sorry this art makes them look like a very generic alien faction from star wars or some shit

>>724672891
40k doesn't exist in a Vacuum. Everyone knows what a happy little hopeful society of adventuring idealists looks like. We all watched Star Trek. You don't need that faction in the actual game for that contrast to exist.

>>724673065
>>724670398
>>724670125
>>724669581
>>724667038
>>724665618

>>724673169
Snag one for me, will you?

>>724673065
I'd want Tau eyes to be something more like a freman's "blue within blue", essentially the same color through out, with a defined iris line and pupil.

>>724662960 (OP)
1. Tau are shorter than humans, except the Air Caste.
2. They have a lifespan of around 40 years and they don't mature much faster than humans.
3. Tau don't form family units, marry, date etc. Their partners are chosen by the state. The children are raised by the state.
4. To Tau concepts like "romance" or "dating" are completely foreign.
5. Breeding between Castes is strictly forbidden.
6. They have very weak, small souls A.K.A. they have weaker personalities and senses of self.

Everything about this picture is stupid.

>>724673437
Tau are shorter than ratlings? Damn

>>724663634
Imperium Guardsman...

>>724673437
surprised you didn't mention the fact that they don't look like anime girls either

>>724672796
>Like HOA some writers say the average lifespan of Ultramar humans is 30, which is way better than average for the Imperium, or that most works somehow work 23 hours a day.

This is something some retard made up, and you believed him.

>>724672796
>>724673059
Cute, moar?

>>724673437
>6
first part is true second part is bullshit and varies wildly based on who is writing them

>>724673561
Their appearances aren't important, in all honesty. As a human you'd be dealing with someone you view as a stereotypical Asian bugman. Additionally, even if by some miracle you DID enter a relationship with her, she'd age rapidly in front of your eyes within a handful of years.

>>724673682
>second part is bullshit and varies wildly based on who is writing them

That's true for everything put into novels, but the overall lore of the setting is clear - souls = personality/ego/sense of self.

ok but where's the tau wives (male)

All the more reason to corrupt a qt tau and teach her love and romance
Exotic is interesting after all, why wouldn't they be curious?

>>724673759
certain necron lords would disagree with that

>>724673806
They're right over there in that ditch, soldier. Just get on your knees and dig around a little. You'll find em down there.

>>724662960 (OP)
Aren't tau manlets/womanlets?
inb4
>muh dik

>>724673840
I wouldn't. It's just a case of "their technology was so hyper-advanced they were able to engrave echoes of the soul into a machine body." It's essentially a reverse process of how Machine Spirits come to be.

The fact that a fucking Tau will have a weaker soul than a suit of power armour is hilarious.

>>724673941
Air Caste Tau are very tall, but thin and spindly, due to spending their entire lives in orbit.

these niggers smell a whiff of blue pussy and forget what happened to the auxilia after the 4SE...

They will never make the Tau a threat wont they?

>>724674036
Lol no. Chaos is the only real threat.

What if you just held and squeezed a water caste girl?

>>724674223
milk

>>724664674
and yet it's the opposite when you go on /d/ or /aco/

>>724674036
>>724674118
How could they be a threat when their entire empire is around a 100 worlds, compared to the Imperium's a 1,000,000+? The Tau Empire is an absolute fart to every other faction in the setting, including the Eldar and Votann.

>>724674156
>"O'pai, for the last time, will you PLEASE requisition a jumpsuit that is actually your size? This one is fit to burst and it'll be the third one this WEEK."

>>724674118
I hate the bullshit that Chaos gets to pull off because le warp is limitless and shit and the fact that ultimately all will fall to it because sooner or later all will die and get consumed, unless E becomes the dark king and end everyone or finds a bullshit way of his own to beat or change the warp. It's just bullshit

>>724674223
Tau are a frail and pathetic species so she'd probably die.

>>724674267
They ARE expanding and advancing and shit, they used to not believe in Titans now they have titan killing ships but yeah it's sow and steady but slow and steady doesn't get you far in 40k

>>724674245
What if I drank all the milk?

>>724674323
I'm weak and scrawny so she'd be fine

>>724674370
You'd die.

>>724674293
It's not, it's just that writers forget very basic information about Chaos and how they work.

For example, take Warp travel. The forces of Chaos are supposed to be fucking AWFUL at it, due to the fact they can't produce Navigators. So most have to rely on Sorcerers, who are much, much worse at it and completely reliant on the aid of whatever demonic master they have.

It's the reason why even the most rabid band of Khorne berzerkers would capture Navigators alive if they could, and even psychos like Night Lords treat them with a modicum of respect.

>>724664230
>shortstack alien gf
Oh god my dick

>>724673945
their souls were literally completely consumed by the ctan during biotransference. There is no "echo".

>>724673945
>necrons
>souls
[ostentatiously vomits in binaric]

>>724674428
it's always shitty writing

>>724673059
the dark age of technology happened because humans are incompetent losers, no other faction suffered anything similar and it won't happen to the tau either.

>>724674118
Honestly the whole "necron shit is draining to chaos because they have no souls and have been fighting warp entities since the warp was invented... -BUT IF WE JAM THE BATTERIES IN BACKWARDS IT BECOMES SUPER CHAOS AND WE WIN" asspull was the worst.

I should really commission more art of my Tau Commander, fucking love this dude
Epic heros be damned I want my own warlord taking heads

>>724664230
>>724674462
Only Earth Caste members are shortstacks. Fire Caste would just be shorter athletic tomboys.

>>724674538
>>724674543
>>724674706
Yes, you heard me right. Souls. The C'than didn't eat the Necrontyr's SOULS, the fuckers don't register in the Warp at all. What they ate was their LIFE FORCE/ENERGY.

>>724674706
the way that you described it was funny

>>724674773
Oh so you are going on headcanon, fair enough.

>>724674842
It's not headcanon. It's long established lore that the C'than don't have a Warp presence nor souls of their own. They're not Demons, they neither can consume souls nor would have any use out of them.

>>724674575
>no other faction suffered anything similar
The eldar haven't gained anything since they fucked a chaos god unto existence. Its just that they're functionally immortal so they have more institutional memory.
The necrons are also senile as fuck, and there's a lot of stuff they don't know how to maintain that isn't nanomachinesson'd with scarabs, and every death and rebirth corrupts their program a little more.
The dark age of technology happened because they had a terminator situation followed with a butlerian jihad put a hard break on things like innovation. The emperor wanted to keep it this way which is why he agreed to let mars have pretty much free reign as long as they provided assistance to the empire and allows them to follow their own imperial truth.
He didn't want innovation because the salvation wasn't in technology, it was in trying to snuff out the ability of chaos to influence humanity and the last thing anyone needs is a chaos corrupted abominable intelligence.

>>724674293
>unless E becomes the dark king and end everyone
Most recent canon states that the Emperor knew about the Dark King and specifically worked to avoid becoming it. He intentionally sabotaged several of the Primarchs to ensure Chaos would be shafted with their choices. In fact Monarchia was actually a test of faith specifically for Lorgar which he failed, and it wasn't incidental that Lorgar's first book is what the Imperium's faith is based on. The Emperor can no longer become the Dark King since he's turning into a God of Order, and all of the Daemon Primarchs can be redeemed once he ascends. His main obstacle is that he needs to avoid what Slaanesh did to the Eldar in order to preserve humanity.

>>724674427
A worthy end

>>724674980
so just as you said, no one else suffered a machine uprising since they weren't retarded like humans.

>GW somehow started another shitstorm by doubling down of femstodes
Why is GW so desperate to appeal to Karens? Why not just make chaos primarch/chaos named romantasy novels. I bet bitches would throw money at Konrad Curze or daemon mode snake Fulgrim trying to murderrape their self insert novels.

>>724674842
>>724674910
>"As the cyclopean machines clamoured, the C’tan swarmed about the biotransference sites, drinking in the torrent of cast-off life energy and growing ever stronger."

Energy. Because that's exactly what the C'than are - energy vampires. What they essentially did was feed on the various forms of energies that power your body, like the synaptic energy within your brain.

They're neither Demons interested in tormenting/consuming your soul, nor Tyranids who wish to consume your biological matter.

>>724674575
Anon, the Dark Age of Technology was the GOOD TIME when Technology was so mythically amazing the current Imperium can barely conceive of what mankind was capable of. You're thinking of the Age of Strife. Which was the Eldar's fault, not Mankind's. Even the Men of Iron was probably due to Chaos Manifesting more heavily in real space and and corrupting their AI or causing the AI to think a purge of Mankind's population was necessary to save the whole.

>>724674773
No one ate their souls, their souls just didn't survive bio-transference because its just copying their minds into a program and leaving behind the part that matters.
The C'tan didn't give a shit about their souls or life energy, they wanted to make sure they had an army of unkillable egyptian terminators that they programmed wrong, as a joke.

>>724675201
>"As the cyclopean machines clamoured, the C’tan swarmed about the biotransference sites, drinking in the torrent of cast-off life energy and growing ever stronger."

Just this quote disproves you.

>>724675185
yeah, humans were dumb enough to get assraped by warp storms when they could've just developed non-warp FTL or made their own webway. pure skill issue.

>>724675163
>As a race bereft of psykers as a result of the loss of their souls during the biotransference process, the Necrons are also incapable of Warp travel, and without access to the Webway, they would be forced to rely once more on slow-voyaging stasis-ships, dooming them to interstellar isolation.
They ate their souls dude.

>>724675250
>"Though immortality and nigh godlike strength and vigour were his, it had come at the cost of his soul, the effluvial remains of which had already been sucked down the gullet of a circling C'tan."
Soul = life energy

>>724675270
Even those cannonballs?

>>724675091
Numerous modern corporations are essentially being devoured from within by overinflated Marketers who are utterly obsessed with the idea of selling products to the mythical "New Audiences" who will mindlessly consume everything new that gets released and never question any development choices in the product line, while actively antagonizing the traditional consumer base.

>>724675501
Especially them.

>>724675258
>could've just developed non-warp FTL
Would have crippled their ability to sustain their empire. The extent of their Empire and it's prosperity was reliant on the speed of Warp Travel
>or made their own webway. pure skill issue.
Again, Eldar's fault, they didn't let other races use the Webway.

>>724675581
I WILL drink all the milk

>>724675250
you are wrong
the omnissiah's will disproves it

>>724675396
>>724675483
No anon, they lost their souls because they lost their bodies, and the C'than didn't care about transferring those into their necrodermis bodies. They were literally cast away.

Again, the C'than have NO connection to the Warp, they're possibly older than the Sea of Souls itself. Otherwise they wouldn't need the Necrons' technology to break into the Webway and would be scared shitless of the Chaos Gods.

>>724675614
>non-warp FTL

Anon, even if you design a ship that can travel faster than light, it would still take you decades to move between two relatively "close" star systems.

Yup, breeding taucows and cuddling them silly every night until they become addicted

>>724674370
The milk caste would come after you.

>>724675679
C'tan were MADE by the necrontyr, putting star vampires in artificial bodies. They were made specifically as a way to attack the old ones. The C'tan hunger for souls, even eating each other during the war in heaven when the pickings got slim.

>>724675903
And what would those dorks do huh?

>>724676094
Are you lactose intolerant?

>>724675987
>C'tan were MADE by the necrontyr

No, they were simply given physical bodies made of necrontyr.

>They were made specifically as a way to attack the old ones.

No, they were given those bodies so that they could be communicated with.

>The C'tan hunger for souls

No, they hunger for life energy, due to it being more delicious than solar radiation.

>even eating each other during the war in heaven when the pickings got slim

No, they started eating one another because the Deceiver tricked them into a civil war.

>>724665087
Morning Glory Milking Farm called. Yeah. Shut up.

>>724675091
Custodes are unpopular as fuck on the tabletop and their most recent Codex was a giant nerf because their initial 10E rules were strong.
The entire femstodes thing is a laughable misunderstanding since people seem to think that GW has some underlying agenda when they're too stupid to even put one together. Femstodes happened because some corporate moron thought it'd be a good distraction from the nerfs. Technically they were right.
The thing to understand about GW's approach to lore is that any faction that isn't Marines is that they don't care. Marines sell the most by an absurd margin. Everyone else is second class at best and GW will push and pull levers completely at random because they're too stupid to know marketing beyond "SPACEMAN IN BIG ARMOR SHOOT GUN".
GW's success comes in SPITE of their efforts, not because of them.

>>724676170
>because the Deceiver tricked them into a civil war.

And also maybe the honk god, it's unclear.

>>724676347
Don't even start with that. There's lore suggesting that at one point the Eldar and Necron ALLIED against the C'than.

>>724673602
I've seen that kind of stuff in some of the novels. Not those specific examples, but 20 hours a day working I have.

>>724676150
Nope

for me it's ASSassins

>>724676094
Terrible tortures beyond your wildest Gue-la imagination.

>>724676170
>No, they were simply given physical bodies made of necrontyr.
They weren't the C'tan before they got their physical forms, thats when they got their hunger for souls. Made of necrodermis btw, get your made up technobabble straight
>No, they were given those bodies so that they could be communicated with.
...so they could use them as a weapon against the old ones. Necrontyr weren't big on doing things for non-backstabbing reasons
>No, they hunger for life energy, due to it being more delicious than solar radiation.
Life energy and souls are used interchangeably
>No, they started eating one another because the Deceiver tricked them into a civil war.
A civil war over who gets to eat the diminishing amount of souls.

sweaty fire caste abs....

>>724676429
I know, and it's fair to assume there ARE planets like that.

But what, for example, authors like Sandy Mitchell try to portray is that the vast majority of Imperial planets, and the people on them, lead relatively normal lives.

There's over a million inhabited planets. Even if there's a war on 50,000 of them at the same time, which is a ridiculous number, you still have 950,000 that live in peace.

>>724676476
You're just regurgitating the same wrong pieces of information.

>>724676446
Fuck. The whole plan hinged on that.

>>724676339
I think the hate for female custodes could have been reduced by at least 50% if their debut femstodes character in that animation was just conventionally attractive instead of purposefully being designed like a Radroach model.

>>724676630
You have yet to provide any evidence they're wrong, everything I posted is canon.

>>724676150
>>724676446
>tfw white and can drink all the Tau milk I want

>thread is 1/3 imperiumwank, 1/3 necron debate, 1/3 big tau milkers
40k threads are weird.

>Milk caste gets sent in
>doesnt return

>tfw want to collect murder clowns
>remember how much of a pain in the ass checker pattern is to paint

>>724670551
How can you not like classic Eldar art?

>>724676931
Simply a deep undercover mission.

>>724676828
Always have been kek. Used to be more tyranid girl nudes though.
>>724674575
>no other faction suffered anything similar
>war in heaven
>biotransference
>birth of slaanesh
>4th sphere expansion

>>724677079
It's so good. It's classic 40k at its best.

>>724677106
Source of this flat?

>>724677079
If eldar models actually looked like this guys art I'd buy 5k points worth immediately.

Just look at this: https://imgur.com/gallery/eldar-sketchbook-jes-goodwin-original-eldar-concept-art-ocYNa1E

>>724677151
https://www.reddit.com/user/m0pan/

>>724675614
only a total cuck would give up their strategic mobility advantage to another species

>>724676339
2 things can be true at the same time, anon-kun. GW tossing in femstodes in a side blurb in the same underpowered codex was them trying to distract from the codex being bad WHILE ALSO further injecting gay race communism into a setting that fundamentally is opposed to everything those radical weirdos believe in.

>>724677193
Their newer models(they just got a complete range refresh)are actually pretty good, we also finally have a model for the warp spider phoenix lord.

>>724677106
>>war in heaven
not their own fault by being retarded with technology, not ended by machines going rogue. it was just pure necrontyr aggression and old one/eldar/krork self-defense.
none of the others are comparable either.

luv me craftworld
luv me khaine
luv me fire prism

'ate mon-keigh

simple as

>>724677079
If the kind of aggression displayed by Biel-Tan was the baseline for all Craftworlders then they'd be alright as a Faction. With Eldrad as the ultimate archetype always avoiding conflict with the Imperium they kinda suck.

The major fuck up at the attempted Ynnari faction is that they tried to have positive relationships with the Imperium and kept on talking about Diplomacy and working together. Which was utterly retarded and completely crippled what could have been a perfectly good time to finally get Eldar fitted snugly into the core faction Dynamic mentioned earlier in the thread. It's a Death Cult. Awakening their God should have required Total War, kill everything with a Soul that's not an Eldar, and the Necrons since their tech makes the Warp too calm to awaken their God.

>>724677434
Space elves have some good looking vehicles, you gotta give them that.

>>724677378
The War in Heaven is probably one of the most important events in the setting, as it set the stage for the Warp to be as chaotic and unstable as it is in the current era, produced the Eldar and Orks, and caused the Necrontyr to become the Necrons. But it's all about aliens so it's never going to get the same treatment the Horus Heresy did.

>>724677543
looking at the average quality of a horus heresy book i'm extremely happy there will never be a war in heaven series.

>>724677087
She will never want to leave...

Heres your official art tau waifu

>>724676828
Tragically we can never seem to avoid the Imperium wank.

>>724677735
Anon, she's also the Tau equivalent of 100 years old and is on a constant supply of rejuvenates to stay alive at all. She was past her prime decades ago.

>>724677735
Shadowsun's a grandma though, she's an outlier.

>>724677490
>Eldars should've been basically Tyranids in spite of lacking the numbers and not being soulless ravenous monsters
that's an... interesting take

but they're not Tyranids. they're Elves

>make a faction for asians and weebs
>don't make them cute girls and femboys
Honestly the Tau need a complete redesign.

>>724677923
Large numbers of Eldar, DArk Eldar, Harlequins and Exodites all consolidated into large fleets and access to Dark Eldar revival tech pretty much circumvents the numbers because it's the path of Ynnari now instead of the Path of Assuryan, since they're abandoning a survival focus to go 100% on the Warpath against Slaanesh.

I'm not saying it's perfect, I prefer they just be entirely evil like Dark Eldar, they suit the setting better. I'm just saying it's better than being the absolute shmucks Craftworlders appear as 99% of the time they're involved in anything.

>>724678275
Craftworlders are a basically a parallel to humanity: were at the top of the food chain once, got arrogant, got knocked down, suffered from Chaos, now have to do bad shit to survive without being outright irredeemably evil. I think they're fine, Elves are more fun when they're nobledark.

>>724677735
Still would

>>724677735
if i stuck my dick in her face Y would she die

>>724677941
I think Asians prefer the Eldar because it has most of the cute girls in it.

>>724678387
Utterly redundant narrative role. We're here to watch meatgrinder wars with 90% causality rates on both sides with the fate of planets at stake. Whether or not the Space Elves make it is meaningless and the Space Racists don't want their help anyway. It's boring to watch Human and Eldar "Work together" before betraying each other for the dozenth time.

>>724678483
Bad feel.

>>724676734
Seems like there's 2 kinds of tau lovers. There's the ones that want to live with the tau as a servant, and then there's the ones that want to conquer the tau and claim a big titty tau wife. I'm definitely the latter.

the closer 40k is to Rogue Trader campy shit and Oldhammer Fantasy semi-sane in the foreground with the grimmest darkest tardest stuff as a backdrop the better it is, you can't change my mind

>>724678702
I just want to ride is a Crisis suit FUCK

>>724678736
I miss the old Broadsides, shoulder-mounted weapons are the best

>>724678481
it would be extremely painful

Taucows are for lovey dovey cuddles

>>724676339
Dude, you have no fucking idea what you're talking about. The femstodes happened when 40k TV show was being planned out between Amazon and GW. Amazon was adamant that female space marines be made canon. GW tried to explain that this is impossible in the lore and that the sistahs of battle already fill that role, but Amazon wouldn't budge. So GW dug deep and figured that the Custodes would be the sacrificial lamb since nobody likes them much anyway. Of course they were still wrong and fans laughed at them. The be irony is that the 40k show is on shakey ground anyway, so GW fucked themselves for no reason.

>>724678832
>that time a tau took out a dreadnought and when he's inspecting the remains he realizes there's a space marine nugget inside the machine screaming threats at the tau, and the tau scans him and realizes that guy has been entombed in that suit longer than his civilization has existed

>>724679118
>this is the future Taufags want

>>724679206
They are silly little creatures, are they not? Their battle suits are cool though.

>>724679119
Please, the Custodes are the Astartes perfected. One of the improvements is fixing the No Girls Allowed Club, thus boosting their recruit ranks by fifty percent.
I mean really, when you're modifying the human body that extensively, gender stops mattering real fast.

>>724679206
And his reaction is "Jesus Christ, how could they do this to their veterans? Haven't they suffered enough?"

>>724679119
The real victims of the Femstodes are the Sisters of Silence.

>>724676734
sauce me boss

>>724679340
The Talons of the Emperor used to be the all male Custodes paired with the all female Sisterhood of Silence. Getting rid of that so you can jerk yourself off for no reason isn't an improvement.

>>724679340
>Custodes are the absolute pinnacle of what can be achieved using humanity as a base for warriors
>using a woman as a base and giving up the very noticeable percentage in baseline strength to enhance

Retarded take, also there infinity number of young boys to be enhanced, there's literally no reason to use females.

>>724679479
Already did.

>>724679404
>Haven't they suffered enough?
not as much as the emperor has suffered

>>724679524
Ah, didnt see that

>>724679483
This is why I play Ad Mech, past a certain point, it's all metal anyway, so it doesn't matter what the gender of the skull you scooped that brain out of was.

>log in to see content
Welp
Thats unfortunate

>>724679340
That's why Amazon settled with forcing the retcon on them. The custodes were the old guard, "the bestest", so changing them felt like a win for their messaging department. GW settled with them because at least they aren't the poster boys of the series.

>Recruitment
The imperium is not in anyway at all short of "recruits". And even then they would always pick men for combat roles for the same reason as in real life. Even if men and woman are both allowed to apply, the below average male is still better than the top percentile female, thus men dominate in what is a meritocratic selection system.

>>724679713
Explain the civilizational advantage of such massive tittybooba

>>724679408
Huh, I never thought about that way before.

>>724679119
>>724679340
>>724679483
>>724679501
they could have made it more palatable by making it another Cawl reformist maybe-tech-heresy moment and having the Custodes acquiesce to recruiting female nobs on Terra in addition to males to cope with actually suffering meaningful casualties due to being out & about- seeing as every one of them is a custom gene-alchemy job anyways, you can buy it more than a Primaris 2 revisal un-boys' clubbing the mass production Astartes geneseed method- but GW had to be retarded and proclaim 'THERE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN FEMALE CUSTODES' with foundational lore blurbs dictating precisely otherwise

>>724679206
That book kinda sucked but it had its moments like Cato sicarius beating that Tau woman to death
>>724679340
That’s retarded though besides we already have the sisters of silence
Speaking of Amazon what is happening with the 40k show

>>724679745
Inspires extreme competition in males that winnows out the weaklings and fosters constant competition to produce the strongest, most bold males.

>>724679751
Slurping time.

>>724679751
SLURP SLURP SLURP

sex with faggy tau bois
https://files.catbox.moe/tqx8w4.png

>>724679794
>would your emperor be proud?
[crunch]
>Yes.

>>724679845
>>724679847
Slurp minds, lol.

>>724679845
>>724679847
>5 seconds apart
BROTHER

>>724679880
Why the fuck did I click this? I didn't need to see that.

>>724679778
That just would have just directed the lionshare of the ire back to Cawl and the Primaris development just when customers were getting over it and even starting to warm back up to them and focus their autism on other setting net picking about Ynnari and Votann.

You want to know what really would have made it palatable? Make the debut character hot. That was it. Instead they purposefully made her mannish and made a big show of her pulling rank on a Chapter Master.

>>724680025
You can't even say he didn't warn you

>>724680025
Imagine the cuddles

>>724680094
Sploosh.

>>724680101
Saved.

>>724680189
>bounce wobble slosh boing
No wonder the tau had to invent the stealthsuit

>>724680189
SLORP

Man I wish it was possible to make an Eldar girl thread and it be as peaceful as the Tau girl threads.

>>724680082
okay but can we have internally consistent non-retcon if still skubby lore in addition to having the femstodes not have a 200% male jawline shaped like a brick wall

>>724680401
I feel your pain my friend, but we know why that can't happen.

For me it's that picture of the tau battlesuit getting grappled by tentacles

Just found out about the retarded Tau that willingly infected their own people with a Genestealer they captured so that they could communicate with it

>>724680401
Reminder that eldar average 7 feet in height for both sexes, and are on average strong enough to rip a non augmented human in half. You would be the little spoon, and if you don't like that well that's just too bad.

>Rob the Bob Gundamman can have a cute space elf wife
>we can't have our own blueberry gf
what the FUCK bros....

>>724680652
You can... if you betray your species and Lord.

>>724680447
Cawl being able to improve or make Custodes in different or better ways wouldn't have gone over any better. People didn't like the idea of him being able to "Upgrade" space marines wasn't well liked until it was established Cawl got the schematics for the new organs from the Emperor's own research records.

It was really just an incredibly stupid decision. The Harvest could have been an exceptionally popular little animated short, instead it's just the focus of Gamesworkshop recent flirting with DEI.

>>724680401
>>724680457
I used to hate the Eldar. But then I took the Iyanden pill. I think the Eldar would, honestly, be better liked if they were styled as the ghost robot faction. fits better with their whole "dying race" schtick, even though in 40k no faction will ever run out of meat for the grinder.

>>724680457
I know but one can dream. Maybe if enough anons got together and reported his spam posts he would actually get banned for once?

>>724680641
That won't stop me. I'm still gonna fight for big spoon.

>>724680950
There's a dedicated anti-eldar autist on /v/?

>>724680847
The Necrons have taken over so many roles the Eldar used to play, I'm not sure making the Eldar even more similar to Necrons by highlighting an "Army of the Dead" aesthetic is really a good idea.

>>724680978
And /tg/. And /a/.

>>724681036
To tell the truth, I just want more mechs. I think the eldar mechs are cool, so I'd like more people to appreciate them.

>>724681069
What's his trademark? Just loudly imperiumwanking?

>>724680401
Eldar are simultaneously so irrelevant they can't generate hype yet not controversial enough to generate lasting rage.

>>724681036
And the tyranids barged into the roles the necron's used to play. Instead of necrons being the looming threat on the horizon, it's the nids. Instead of necrons being unstoppable by chaos, now it's the nids.

>>724681219
I can't wait for them to actually just add the Skaven, and try to make them the new unstoppable thread, just like the Nids were, and the Necron were, and Chaos was.

>>724680978
Anti- Female Elf coom poster. Noldorfag. He browses multiple boards gets upset when people in threads involving elves focuses to much on their hot women, particularly the hot women with non-elf species. He thinks it's a jewish psy-op to destroy the white race. He's sorta fine with hot elves as long as they're with other hot elves and not orcs but he gets pissy easily and spams a large folder of male elf warriors until the thread runs out of images.

Annoying but honestly there is way worse autists out there.

>>724677539
Nice canards, lol.

>>724680978
>>724681118
>He doesn't know
If you're actually curious. If you ever see an Elf/Eldar thread on /v/ or /tg or /a/ pay attention to the images that get posted. You'll notice a a very homo theme from some and a certain autists passive-aggressive posts regarding anything to do with pointy ears. ESPECIALLY pointy eared women paired with Human men.

>>724681110
I'm with you on the mechs anon. I actually bought some Eldar I plan to paint specifically cause I think wraithlords look fucking awesome.

>>724681335
>noldorfag
wait, does he bring lord of the rings into this too?

>>724680603
well, did it werk?

>>724681118
You misunderstand. He's a known quantity, Noldorfag is what he's pejoratively known as. He has a psychopathic affinity for elves, but only his extremely narrow definition thereof. His will relentlessly spam threads with shitty, low resolution images and call anyone who disagrees with him a "pornbrain". He is genuinely mentally unstable and a scourge on all the boards he posts on.

>>724681219
The thing about 40k that I always liked is that its hopeless since there are like fourteen looming apocalypses, if its not the necrons its the nids, if its not the nids its chaos, and at the end of the day the ork are basically impossible to eradicate permanently

>>724681110
>I just want more mechs.
Then you'd love the tau.

>Eldarfags show up to whine in a perfectly good Tau thread
Fuck off pointy-ears, your old news.

>>724681505
O'pai is best Tau.

>>724681439
>>724681478
Can't say I've seen him in /aosg/ which is the only thread on /tg/ I check because I collect KO but I'll keep an eye out for this specimen in the future.

>>724681036
The Iyanden are a mix of the rare "good necromancer" character in that they heavily rely on wraith constructs to fight for them after suffering heavy losses from a failed Tyranid invasion on their craftworld. If Eldar as a whole leaned further into wraiths as a gimmick, their playstyle could potentially change as well. Take some cues from the ghost army in Sigmar and have them summon new wraith constructs directly onto the field, or even having Eldar soulstones directly piloting vehicles and other things as well. Something to have them back in the limelight and not have literally every other faction steal their thunder. Space Marines have been stealing their "one unit good at a one thing and shit at everything else" thing as far back as 8th when the Primaris dropped.

>>724681451
Its just an old name /tg/ anons gave him because he would spam Lord of the Ring elves. He's particularly notorious because of how long he's been spamming. Seriously if you make a thread about elves at any time he WILL show up. He's been doing it 16 hours a day for more than 10 years now at least.

>>724681219
To be fair the Necrons started out as Tomb Kings. Just look at the 2nd edition Necron Lord. They then turned into the Terminators when they added the C'tan lore and the focus was all on Blanks and Pariahs, and then back into Tomb Kings when that novelty wore off.

Oldcrons aren't actually Oldcrons, tomb kings in space are Oldcrons, Oldcrons are Newcrons and New named Tomb Kings in Space like Trazyn are Nucrons.

>>724681505
Oh, I'm 100% a Taufag. After not seeing anything from GamesWorkshop in years, it was seeing the Tau in Dawn of War that got me back into it. I loved the designs of the crisis suits, and especially the stealth suits. I love the helmets for firewarriors, and the weapon design. I bought up the joytoy figures so fast and I'm pissed that they'll never do a Ghostkeel instead of Space Marine Number Fifty Billion.
It's the imperiums stuff that I just can't really get behind. Like the smaller Knights are interesting enough, but the larger ones, and titans? They just look so goofy to me.
One of these days I'm gonna repaint the joytoy stuff in proper Tau sept tan. Viorla white just doesn't hit the same.

Bluebies.

>>724681591
Apologies blue titty-cow lover. Have a random Tau picture I have as a peace offering from a knife-ear lover.

>>724681985
Farsight red is best.

They should make the Tau the second faction in Darktide. I want to kill some blue-skins in an action game for once

>>724682158
If a second faction ever happens it will be GSC.

>>724680847
I still hate eldar. I like covens though, it lets me see eldar for what they really are.

>>724665020
>40k is about the Imperium fighting Chaos. Cope, xenofag.

>ignores the tyranids
also, chaos is cringe

>>724682291
Now that's a disgusting xeno menace I can get behind. Tau suck.

>>724679880
Holy BASED. Moar?

>>724682556
Would also work better because they're a horde army., tau aren't.

>>724682951
Get better art. Also maybe a better fetish than just comically huge tits.

>>724683007
Get better taste.

>>724682951
>Milord, the Lady Holstein is here to discuss your marriage proposal.

>>724683083
Tau are NOT cows.

>>724683007
>liking big boobs is a fetish
You are gay.

>>724683286
>implying it was an insult

Cows give us milk, meat, clothing, and they're cute. They're the full package baby.

>>724682158
>>724682291
Hear me out. Darktide 2 but instead of retarded blank slate characters with no personality beyond one of 3 voices. It's some Humans/Tau/Eldar/Votann/Whatever else. That were cut off from their armies/factions and are stuck on a world/system being overrun by Genestealers and Chaos cults fighting over the ruins before nids show up to eat everything. Forcing them to work together to salvage the situation. Lets us have more unique characters with actual connection and stories between them and fun banter between them wanting to kill each other but not as much as killing the things literally destroying the world around them. Yes it would literally be Vermintide in space and it would be better than og Darktide as a result

>>724683467
They aren't abandoning DT any time soon, they've got another class on the way(I hope it's skitarii).

>>724683295
These aren't just big boobs. These are silly boobs. The kind of boobs you'd catch a socially awkward tween drawing in a sketchbook.

>>724683698
Sounds hot.

>>724683698
Did you not get the memo? Everything you liked when you were 12 is what's actually cool. War, metal, Arnold, huge tits, all of it.

>>724683985
not everyone was bottle fed and neglected by a single mother

>Bog-standard average Mobile Suits are about the same height as Warhound Titans and way faster
The Tau need to step their game up and get Feddiepilled. Imagine if they started mass producing their superheavy battlesuits at the rate they started coming off the line in 079.

For me it's Taunny

>>724684131
You sound like a tremendous boy molesting fruit, you prancing lala homo man.

>>724664674
who does this appeal to?

>>724662960 (OP)
>alien with belly button
taht's how you know she's absolutely breedable

>>724683467
No that sounds gay

>>724684292
Smol mechs are just cooler.

>>724677079
>>724677145
It reminds me of Metzen's work on early Warhammer

>>724679340
>I mean really, when you're modifying the human body that extensively, gender stops mattering real fast.
Why is she wearing armor?

>>724684292
It's difficult to say the size of any given, anything, in 40k. It's intentionally kept vague so that it can be whatever size is needed for whatever is being written. But the Gundam is probably taller than a Warhound, with the Nu or Sazabi being about as tall as a Reaver.
Personally, I'd rather they keep the suits to smaller scale stuff, and instead add in more of other races into things and other kinds of vehicles. It would be cool to have a Demiurge unit as a heavy option that a knight might fill, or maybe the Nicassar in some kind of psyker powered contraption.

>Bro, the next space marine game can't have tau because they're a ranged faction
Since when do space marines care that the tau want to fight at range? The marines just drop into the middle of tau formations and fuck shit up.

>>724684910
Do people just forget that the kroot exist?

>>724684910
But that's not fun. You need strong melee enemies to parry, dodge and counter.

for me it's futa tau wirh big horsecocks

>>724684656
Oh yeah? well you type gay.

>>724685036
parry enemy fire if you are so great

Why do humans want the T'au dead? why can't they just coexist?
Have a heart, think of the women and children

>>724670730
>I can't wait for the 3d print /biz/ness to grow larger and larger to make them bleed
that's basically the whole reason they've dabbled in multimedia and games, cant 3d print a game, sure you can pirate one but even most sweaty nerds pay for their games

>>724685178
I am thinking of T'au women and making children yes

>>724672342
Didn't I see you post this on /tg/?

>>724685036
We didn't need that in the first game. Also the mechanic for dodging fire and returning a powerful shot is ALREADY in space marine 2.

Tau women owe me breastfeeding sessions

sisters of battle owe me sex

>>724685178
The idea of not killing tau is to humans what not culturally genociding humans is to the tau. The tau remove the independence of every species they can indoctrinate. They aren't "the good guys". Co-existence isn't possible.

>>724684990
This isn't blue.

>>724674267
the tau's entire lore if you read any of the stories is them inventing new shit to deal with stuff, they invented hand held railguns in the 2nd sphere expansion to deal with space marines and big tyranids and they're toying with putting one in the hands of every fire caste.
left alone they would quickly innovate everyone else out of the galaxy.

>>724684830
Anything with a model is easy, as the models are to scale, and we have stated sizes for at least some things(Space Marines in armor to name one)so you just put the models next to each other and you can figure it out.

>>724685845
Hardly. The Tau live in a cluster of space that's heavily littered with tomb worlds. You can't out science the necrons. The necrons would fuck up the tau.

>>724685396
>We didn't need that in the first game.
You mean, the game where fun ended as soon as swarming enemies who rush you in melee were replaced by Chaos Marines and Renegades?

>>724685876
Last I'd seen the minis are absolutely not correctly scaled to each other, especially when it comes to vehicles.

>>724685790
And she never will be you xeno

>>724685989
They were alright. Sounds like you forgot to carry a lascannon and meltagun everywhere.

>>724670239
>no melee

Gitz-coded faction

>>724685845
They've got a long way to go to catch up with even the scraps of DAoT humanity that the Ad Mech have. Hell, the cogbois have had man portable railguns for their skitarii legions(not as powerful but don't require you to strap a nuclear reactor to your back)for longer than the tau have existed.

https://1d6chan.miraheze.org/wiki/Galvanic_Weapons

>>724686075
It's so funny you mention those two guns because they were precisely the ones I carried in the end. Everything else was trash, but LasCan headshots for Champions and Melta for swarms worked way too well.

The balance was so fucked. They gave you Storm Bolter as the last weapon and it was just objectively worse than your default upgraded Bolter that you had to carry. It could've been a fun weapon in the early game, fighting swarms of Sluggas, but you get it way after you defeat your last Ork.

>>724672342
Needs significantly more wash and grime, Death Guard should look like they just crawled out of your septic tank.

Made me download dawn of war again
Fuck I love dawn of war.

>>724686182
>for longer than the tau have existed
that's exactly my point, they caught up to ~20k year old tech in <100 years

>>724686182
Almost everything in the imperium is older than the tau. I still remember the book where they carbon dated a space marine's armor plate and found it to be older than their recorded history.

>>724686194
The weapon progression in SM1 was pretty bad. I remember how a good third of the game sticks you with the vengance launcher because there's literally nothing else. There's a mod that lets you start the campaign with both the storm bolter and plasma gun, though.

Did you play with controller or mouse? I found that controller made melee fighting way easier, but the deadzone on the r-stick made aiming with the sniper really obtuse. I had to keep switching between them, depending on whether a psyker was on the field.

>>724662960 (OP)
Don't get distracted by misshapen pussy-foreheads, brothers.

>>724686514
can do boss, i'm not looking at the forehead

>>724676689
>designed like a Radroach model
kek

>Abandoning this to hook up with some alien blueberries wimps.

I almost pity you traitorous bastards.

I kinda prefer the water/air caste fanart where they're super tall and thin to the extreme balloon tit nonsense ladies

>>724687176
Cata-Chan? Why did you dye your hair? And what happened to your tooth gap?

>>724686324
Has the same vibe as those ultradegenerate BDSM comics I used to jack off to when I was a teen. Had to quit that shit because its so insane it makes real pissdrinking gangbang porn look downright wholesome.

>>724687439
>it makes real pissdrinking gangbang porn look downright wholesome.
You never watched Anal Acrobats

>>724687415
He's doing WH stuff now? Nice.

>>724687492
>Anal Acrobats
I sort of regret that I went down the porn rabbit hole so far that this stuff seems like babbys first porno to me.

>>724687785
>takes you archeotech hunting
fucking sold
minor typo on 'reach'/'teach'

I like the twink Emperor that one artist draws

>>724687785
here's the full collage

I'm feelin...
A mighty thirst...

>>724687932
For milk?

>>724687926
I like the krieg commissar
I want to pamper her
Regular commissar is a little scary and I would probably cry

>>724688009
Yes.
I kinda want an image similar to a certain hex maniac one where she has icepacks on her tits after a vigorous milking
Also I hereby declare that all taucow nipples are inverted by default

>>724687926
>Ogryn gf

Imagine the smell

Anyways, I'll take a Krieg Comissar gf. Shes traumatized and isolated enough to actually love me back

>>724662960 (OP)
Tau do look like that.

>>724688139
She looks like she is exceptionally weak to lap pillows and cuddles

>>724669213
Tau looks the way we (not you) say they look like.

>>724679640
Nice thumbnail you fucking nigger

>>724685178
the only good xenos are dead xenos

>>724683286
>>724682951
Touch the Tau.

>>724688403
Do it now?

>>724685345
Yes you did, I am still trying to figure out highlighting lmao

>>724687926
Emperor, I don't ask you for much, but I would praise your name for the rest of eternity if I could get some navigussy.

>>724681659
>>724681451
Don't forget he's actually retarded and thought the side story about Aragorn courting that sweet elf ass was fetish fan-fiction and not actually a work of Tolkien's.

>>724687891
mossa

>>724680950
>spoiler
he does get banned, he just ban evades like all the other dedicated thread/topic schizos on this site do
hell I have seen him get post wiped and he came back on a new IP to keep flooding in the same thread

>>724669431
please, five me cute alien boys

>>724681691
This reads like pilpul. The original form of space marines was highly parodic tomfoolery the complete opposite of the popularly known more recent form. Anyone referring to the 'old' form of a popular race is obviously talking about the period they got their lore sorted out in a form that actually takes itself seriously and before the modern DEI shit started crawling in.

>>724677106
>her
damnit!

>>724688836
Inquisitor? Yeah, that guy, right there.

>>724684910
Malum Caedo doesn't need parry to purge Tau. He'll fucking rip apart multiple Mantas and battlesuits by himself given the chance.

>>724670239
I wish Tau was all this and mech suits, instead we get those filthy Kroot vermin and vespids.
I fucking hate Tau auxilliaries.

>>724680401
Damn bratry space elf! Needs rape correction.