Dan's record setting rise to the top edition

prev >>227281

>Banzuke:
http://sumodb.sumogames.de/Banzuke.aspx
https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoBanzuke/index/

>Fight Schedule & Results:
https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoMain/torikumi/1/1/

>Some sumo links and how to watch live:
https://rentry.org/uwbgc88d

First for Koga.

second for disappointing ozeki everywhere

Koga Ozeki run starts NOW!

>>228615 man who eats 20 eggs a day

>>228648
I get that it's already the point of the meme but fuck it's hard to believe that someone that fat has the temerity to sit around and lecture people on nutrition. Jesus.

>>228646
Name three.

This is 6th /sumo/ thread we have currently on /xs/ active.

>>228652
It's not our fault no one else posts on this board.

>>228647
Koga will rise up the ranking like a rocket if or when he turns to the dark side. The boy's too nice.

>>228652
Origami has its own board, Pokemon has its own board, there's a board specifically dedicated to miscellaneous aspects of Japanese culture, it's long past time for /sumo/ to be an official board.

>>228655
/jp/ might be a better place for these off-season threads.

>>228657
too fast

>>228654
>Koga at 100kg
>"I need 120kg to win!"
>Koga at 120kg
>"I need 140kg to win!"
This dude will be the next Konishiki (still Jonidan btw)
What Koga needs to do is use his monstrous beaked head in tachiai instead of putting his hands on his opponent's shoulders and letting himself be dragged away.

/sp/ could sustain a sumo general, the problem is getting bumped off whenever a big event happens and a bunch of hues spam the catalogue with new threads over everything.

>>228660
We deserve our own board. Enough is enough. I'm going to find out where Hiroshimoot lives and uwatenage him until he caves in.

>>228655
>>>/po/ is the deadest board by some margin. I saw a three-year-old thread in there once and it wasn't even close to the bump limit.

>>228663
How the hell would a /sumo/ work?

>Ozeki hate thread
>Mongol hate thread
>/cc/ Chris Church: new video dropped: Hakuho is going to kill the entire sumo association with his own bare hands!
>/futag/ Futagoyama General: Nabatame AIDS edition
>knee thread: post the best knees in sumo (thicc edition)

>>228665
Paradise.

>>228665
Fourteen active sloppa threads at any given moment, with at least one general per heya broadcasting the stuff. /Koga/. A general all about maintaining the Mexican rankings.

>>228669
>/Miyagino/
>I'm bumping this thread every day until hakuho gets his stable back

>>228665
>tfw someone calls them "sumos"
492 replies

A fantasy sumo thread sounds fun. I finished 35/367 last time and was very proud of myself.

>>228665
/sumo/ is too long of a name. Call it /fat/.

>>228665
I long for a
>rikishi bike thread

Crazy how Takerufuji suddenly has the title of highest ranked Isegahama man.

>>228643 (OP)
You didn't put the list of beya channels in the OP you dolt

>>228691
Will be irrelevant soon - the new /sumo/ board will have a /slop/ general.

if the mong oyakatas were smart they're be getting their foreign recruits from countries that weren't tiny impoverished shithole like mongolia.
the benefits mushigawa is going to reap when dan III hits the big time will be worth thousands of times more to his stable that the benefits gained from having a mong sekitori

>>228693
If you aren't from a shithole country, you're not going to uproot your entire life as a teenager to try being a sumo wrestler. It's physically and mentally demanding, you have to share a room with six massive farting behemoths until you're good enough to get a salary, and Japan is notoriously hard on foreigners who aren't tourists. The Mongols do it because they've been wrestling since they could walk anyway, and the standard of living in a Tokyo stable is higher than the standard of living in an Ulaanbaatar commieblock.

>>228643 (OP)
I like Dan but this is too much dicksucking. Half of the sumo threads have Dan in them and you made a thread of him over big Teru's retirement.

>>228697
>Half of the sumo threads have Dan in them and you made a thread of him over big Teru's retirement.

>>228697
It's going to be hilarious when Dan starts to job and this guy goes quiet.

>>228699
Dan only just turned 21 and he is already having an easy time in the top division, he has the best work ethic in the sport and his coach is only of the most skilled wrestlers of this century. Dan will be eventually making the top rank, in a couple years he'll be even bigger and more muscular than he already is, he'll be in sanyaku in July or September and get his first yusho before the year is out. His streak of consecutive KKs will last as long as his career does and kwabs like you will be reeeeeeeeing over it the whole time.
enjoy ur decade of suffering

>>228695
>you have to share a room with six massive farting behemoths
Imagine the smell.

The thing about Dan that's struck many people is his physique is actually comparable to Asashoryu. He isn't the tallest, but he's very squat and has cannonball shoulders. His rise to sanyaku feels inevitable. I hope his stable can recruit or raise more sekitori to give him better training partners.

>>228702
He isn't going to fuck you.

>>228702
Is he good at avoiding and/or recuperating from injuries? How well can he handle the rigours of the constant jungyo touring? How adaptable will he be when the san'yaku take him seriously and develop countermeasures? How does he handle the pressure when he's contesting for the Emperor's Cup in the final weekend? How does he handle a yusho hangover? He's the new boy, and we just don't know the answers yet. It's easy to be optimistic about his potential and his future, but until he's actually been on the scene for a few years it's premature to think so highly of him.

>>228706
Isn't this his 3rd tour? He's doing excellent so far.

>>228707
That's the point - his third tour, when some of the lads who aren't all that much older than him have ten times as much touring under their belts. Dan hasn't even lived a sekitori's life for a whole year yet.

There is only one Dan and I refuse to acknowledge any others.

Aonishiki just feels like a little sideshow character with Onosato on the scene

He's not dan enough

>>228710
Onosato cannot be Dan. Explicitly. Even Hoshoryu is more Dan than Onosato.

>>228710
Not what I meant
and theres shishi besides

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmfJJttZqQU

>>228710
>extremely quick journey to ozeki
>real chance of becoming a yokozuna with a yusho this basho (IMPORTANT)
It's not a particularly reasonable comparison compared to "rookie with a good makuuchi debut." Of course Onosato has the spotlight right now.

no one has mentioned the jonidan rikishi who died of necrotizing fasciitis on his genitals

>>228718
for you casuals who only watch the top divisions, watching sumo consists of seeing 15 minutes of natto clips and thats it. the real fans who take in all of sumo have gotten to enjoy being impressed by aonishiki's outstanding skill for nearly two year already.

>>228719
maybe they should start washing the mawashis

>>228720
I try to watch everything including maezumo; very fun sumo and there are quite a few non-sekitori that I like rooting for whether they'll actually make it or not. Onosato's potential yokozuna run is just more pressing at the moment. If Aonishiki reaches ozeki and starts his own yokozuna run, it'll perhaps be the same.

>>228719
https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/202504220001176.html
Really unfortunate situation.
>>228704
>Asashoryu
Are you the person who was extremely vague about comparing Aonishiki's frame to a certain wrestler in the last basho's threads? It's an interesting comparison and not one that is baseless, but I've seen more people compare him to Wakanohana III, although that's probably because Aonishiki said that he was inspired by his fighting style.

>>228724
>Asashoryu
Good comparison in terms of physical characteristics, but I think Dan is probably a lot stronger than Asashoryu was at the same age, but their fighting style is different

>>228725
>I think Dan is probably a lot stronger than Asashoryu was at the same age

>Koga, get on the fucking dohyo

>>228725
I was ambivalent about Dan, but because of all the rabid dickriding he's getting I'd rather see him falter just to see the seethe.

>>228731
At least Dan actually shows real promise. People who ride Shishi's dick purely for being Ukrainian are the worst.

>>228733
If you knew anything about the internet you'd know that what you see on it isn't representative of anything in the real world. Armchair activists aren't going to visit Ukraine lmao, they'll be too busy with the next moral panic by the time the conflict ends. I haven't heard anyone talk about the conflict IRL in about two years.

>>228736
You're obviously very cynical. I used to be like that as a younger man, and it never worked very well as a model for the world or for predicting the future, and I now consider cynicism to be a trap for the unwary. I won't change your mind, because cynicism can only be dismantled from within, and you won't change mine because once it has been dismantled, it can never come back.

>>228737
You sound like a massive faggot.

>>228738
You'll understand when you're older.

>>228739
It's nothing to do with age and everything to do with paying the slightest attention to what's been happening on the internet and in the media over the last decade. Either way Aonishiki deserves all the praise.

>>228740
Of course it has to do with age - the conclusions you arrive at when you pay attention to things are shaped more by your own experiences over time than by the events themselves, and the older you get the more experiences you have, the more your beliefs are challenged, broken, or reinforced, and the more you realise how much there is that you still don't know. A young man and an old man can read the same news story, but they'll feel very differently about it. Your opinions now aren't the same as they were when you were a teenager, and they aren't the same as they will be in years to come.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ukraine_(bicycle)

>>228697
> Half of the sumo threads have Dan in them
It’s one guy making the threads. I mean, if I were OP I’d be making threads about being disappointed by Oho, but that’s just me.

Kikuchi is back, I was worried for him

>>228745
He's looking big and solid too. His injuries have all seemed to be related to putting on weight too quickly, so hopefully he really starts making progress now he's got some proper size on him.

>>228746
He has gained 15 kg and grown 4 cm from his debut so he propably has issues adjusting to his new size

Y'all gooning over Kikuchi while Goshima is RIGHT THERE.

Every Futagoyama training:
>Koga vs Kikuchi
>AAAAH!!
Koga vs Shunta
>AAAAH!!
>Koga vs Tsukioka
>AAAAH!!
>Koga vs Umeyama
>AAAAH!!
Futagoyama Oyakata is really going to break Koga's legs with a baseball bat...

>>228749
Koga's been there for nearly four whole years now, if he was going to get the bat it would have happened ages ago.

Chris
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T97jqUmD47c

>>228749
Futagoyama oyakata likes koga he is his personal man servant it seems. Koga is going to end up as the next moriurara.

>Hosh already preparing his litany of excuses

>>228752
>Daieisho fought 15 times
>Went 8-7
It's like a running joke with him, isn't it.

Hoshoryu as an Ozeki
>0 injuries, at the peak of his power
Hoshoryu 0.5 seconds after being promoted to Yokozuna
>Injuries in every joint
>AIDS
>Chronic type 6 diabetes
>Intermittent blindness
>Each and every one of his vertebrae dislocated
>Dozens of brain microtumors that cause muscle spasms and make stupid movements when fighting
>Asthma
>Chronic gastroenteritis
>Develops an autoimmune disease that makes him allergic to salt and rice
COME ON NOW HUH?!

>>228756
he got sick eating those elbow chips, its not his fault

>>228756
You know the part where John transfers illness to Percy in The Green Mile? It's the same situation with Terunofuji and Hoshoryu right after Terunofuji retired.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEbeOREWz1k

>>228749
Koga is oyakatas favourite

>>228759
It's easy to understand why.

I've been watching some practice bouts and I find it pretty obvious how Onosato never even tries to win when going up vs Hoshoryu. Kind of disappointing really.

>>228761
Why show your hand to the biggest chip stack at the table? Oops sorry did I say chip? I didn't mean to bring up his elbow hahaha.

>>228762
It shows lack of hinkaku.

>>228763
He'll show hinkaku when he gets the rope. He's far more deserving of it than nephew anyway.

>>228762
It boggles my mind that everyone in the top division allows himself to be studied so much and so often by his direct competitors. You'd think the oyakatas at least would constantly try to keep their best men as unknown as possible.

>>228765
If there's one oyakata who can truly appreciate the difficulty that comes with roping, it's Kisenosato.

>>228764
He is supposed to show hinkaku as a requirement for promotion to Yokozuna, not after.

>>228768
Allow me to provide a counter argument:
>Hoshoryu

>>228769
I don't give a fuck about your hate circle jerk stop replying to me.

WHen are they releasing the banzuke? Basho's in like 2 weeks come on

>>228771
Tonight. Should be around 8-9 PM EST when it drops.

>>228772
I can't believe they demoted Hoshoryu.

>>228773
What the fuck I know they need competent Ozeki but promoting Daieisho???

>>228761
Onosato's favorite technique would involve shoving Hosh's injured elbow and he isn't going to risk making Hosh's injury worse just for a meaningless practice bout win. On day 15 no holds will be barred.

>>228772
I hope both Waka bros get sanyaku. WTK is sure to get it and it's not like WMH is getting a kinboshi. Though, with how Hosh has been doing, who knows.

>>228775
>Sweep the leg
Someone please post the final Kakuryu bout v Endo.

>>228776
Basically everyone has Takayasu taking the sanyaku slot over WMH.

>>228777
M1 is the sweetest spot on the banzuke, easy kinboshi and you'll have a chance to get it before Hosh withdraws. Ura was too low down in the Joi in March and got robbed of his

>>228778
>M1 has the easiest kinboshi
Meet my little friend at M5.

>>228777
Takayasu is in for sure. What I hope for is a 3rd komusubi slot but, yeah, that too is unlikely.

>>228780
why do you want to rob ppl of kinboshi by putting them in sanyaku?
getting komusubi is a ripoff with horseshitryu as yokozuna, which means its a perfect match for takayasu the born loser

>>228781
Eh, he has 3-15 against Hosh and I like to see them together in the banzuke. Funnily enough, of the guys that beat Hosh last basho, only Abi has a negative record against him.

>>228781
You've got no guarantee of getting a kinboshi at any rank, but if you make it to the san'yaku even once, you'll always be "ex-Komusubi Yamanoumi".

>>228775
I doubt it since no other rikishi seemed to have that issue and Hoshoryu himself didn't look like he was taking it easy. The guy was literally just standing there waiting to get thrown around.

>>228781
>rob ppl of kinboshi by putting them in sanyaku?
achieving a kinboshi gives a $400 per tournament bonus in incentive pay. so if you compete in all 6 basho in a year, you'll receive an extra $2400. takayasu is already 35 and i'd imagine he'd prefer the extra $4000 per MONTH increase in base pay for being a komusubi compared to maegashira.

Would be kino if the Waka bros all retired at the same time and shared a hair cutting ceremony before taking shared ownership of Arashio.

https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoBanzuke/index/

ITS OUT
T
S

O
U
T

>>228777

>>228787
M1e. Oh, well.

>>228788
Me on the left.

>>228787
Predicting kinboshi+makekoshi for Abi

>>228787
>makushita
My God, Nobehara is going to have to face Enho, Hokutofuji, and Asanoyama...

>>228787
Koga has four (4) heya-mates that are lower ranked than he is. Our boy's moving up in the world, let's just hope the power doesn't go to his head.

>>228794
None of them will be ranked lower after this basho

>>228794
If Koga does poorly in this basho, he could finish last in his stable. Literally anyone who joins overtakes him after a tournament. Kikuchi is coming back from injury; if he does better than Koga, there's no excuse.
In a few months, we'll have another one of those moments in sumo food videos where they ask him "how was the tournament?" And Koga will commit suicide that same night (his suicide attempt will fail, because he always fails...)

>t. the "Chris Sumo" of Koga

>>228795
>>228796
Koga is going to win the Jonidan yusho. You heard it here first.

>Kiryuko Ms6
>Enho Ms10
>Asanoyama Ms14
>Okaryu Ms17
>Goshima Ms28 (no photo available)

There, that's everyone worth caring about in makushita.

>>228796
Koga's rank doesn't matter. He's head chef, based, and everyone loves him.

>>228798

>>228797
>Later, in the interview
>"Koga, how would you explain your performance during the tournament?"
>"I couldn't do my style of sumo, I couldn't move the way I wanted, and of course, I couldn't do anything I wanted."

>>228787
>tochitaikai m18e
He's in.
>wakaikari j5w
He went +4 on 8-7, that's nuts.
>kazuma jk7e
I'm glad to see him back after his long kyujo period. I predict he'll get the jonokuchi yusho but I personally will be rooting for jk12w Imada.
>>228793
Fighting Enho or Asanoyama would suck, but Hokutofuji wasn't looking very good in the last basho. Most of the possible opponents that Nobehara could face in his rank are quite good, but I can see him getting KK if he does spirited sumo.

>>228787
>aonishiki only up to m9
racism

>>228803
>HACKuoho 9-6
>M7
>Aonishiki 11-4
>M9

They really hate my boy...

takerufuji's 1st joi 'sho
can he handle it?

>>228802
>>228803
>>228804
This your first banzuke or something? Nothing unusual there.

>>228805
Honestly? Probably not. He's a one trick pony and it doesn't work on the big boys anymore.

>>228798
There are a few MsTDs showing up for this basho. I'm not particularly keen on how good they are, but perhaps one of them could get a surprise yusho.
https://youtu.be/8GWf5jV9iek
>>228806
Nothing wrong with pointing out oddities (which are very explainable if you don't look at them in a vacuum). I think it's fun to say "hey that guy got banzuke luck on a 8-7 or 9-6" when it's spotted.

atamifuji in a joi a small hop away from sanyaku for a year - can't get there, drops down to m12 instead
KWABAJB

>>228809
he has boneitis

daieisho need 13 for promotion, kiriSHITma needs 14, neither will get it

>>228808
>Nothing wrong with pointing out oddities (which are not odd in any way when you think for two seconds).
k

>>228811
Daieisho is practically THE S1e, he has more than enough time to redo his ozeki run starting this basho if he doesn't get his 13.

>>228811
Onosato will rope, then it'll be at least half a year before anyone new steps up to Ozeki.

>>228803
ACKTUALLY.... it happened once before in 1942

Shodai is well positioned to clean up against double digit ranked sissies during the first 10 days and make a run at the 'sho. Takanosho has a habit of doing that too.

Tamawashi is 5-25 combined over his last two joi ranked bashos

>>228819
He's just concealing his power level to remain among we mortals. If Tom wanted to be Eternal Yokozuna, he would be.

>Mitakeumi in juryo
Oh boy

>>228822
I'll be shocked if he doesn't retire. 5 consecutive makekoshi, 2 of them double-digit losses. He has looked like a dead man walking for a while now.

Anyone here going to the May basho?

>>228823
I think he's hoping for Dewanoryu to make sekitori first.

Still possible for Tamawashi to break Hakuho's active yokozuna length record before the forced retirement.

>>228831
/sumo/, 1865

I am getting teary-eyed, I missed reading the sumo thread in the morning so much bros

Good Morning

I hate Fraudzuna Horseshitryu and hope he MKs again.

>>228834
i rarely say this but that is a wholesome webm
i love hosh

>>228834
>>228835
I have no strong feelings for or against Hoshoryu.

I liked Hosh more as an ozeki
As a yokozuna he has done nothing but embarrass the title, it was just so unnecessary

Hoshoryu intai by 2026.

>>228844
then all the biggest comics in japan buy their way in to his haircutting ceremony and roast the shit out of him and its so funny that even his oyakata is laughing his lmao off him when he cuts hosh's topknot KWABAMB

>>228844
Ohhhhhnonononosanto and tripletits could end his throwing arm, and that'd be it for him

What are we gonna say if Hosh actually wins the next basho

>>228848
We're all going to pretend we were on the pro-Hosh faction all along, and mock anyone foolish enough to admit he was anti-Hosh.

>>228848
begrudgingly accept that we're stuck with him. its really not that big a deal. sloppy-nosanto in 2017 us unlikely to be topped during our lifetimes as dumo fans

>Oshoryu ms2
Is it finally his time?

>>228846
You okay, mate?

Asanoyama gonna 7-0 Makushita from Ms14 and be in Juryo in July

>>228848
Call it a clown basho of course

>>228855
It's not a clown basho if the yokozuna wins, that's what's supposed to happen

Hosh is kabob&, can he get 8 wins this time or is he gonna lose his rank?

>>228856
Hoshoryu is enough of a fraud clown that him winning as yokozuna means it's a clown basho.

>>228857
That wouldn't have made sense even if you had spelled it right.

>>228857

Kaboban

Horseshitryu intai after this coming basho. I can just feel it.

Onosato should be given the rope with 12 or more wins, jun or not

>>228864
One mistake should not justify future mistakes.

>>228864
Nobody should be given the rope without winning two consecutive yushos at Ozeki.

>>228864
JSA won't bend the rules for Onosato like they did for Hosh because they're not afraid of being accused of racism for denying a promotion to Onosato

>>228847
Sadly Onosato will be his day 15 opponent so even if he breaks his arm he can at least potentially get a real result.

>>228856
It's a clown basho if the final outcome is not to my liking

>>228870
The real clown basho is the journey not the destination. January was a clown basho because fucking Kinbozan led until the final day. March was fine because Takayasu is a real rikishi and Onosato is a fine winner.

The JSA would absolutely rope Onosato on a 12-3Y because it would let Hakkaku goon over having a zuna v zuna fight in London.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gndlaxIOCs&ab_channel=ChrisSumo

Chris banzuke sloppa. Both Asanoyama and Enho are in striking distance of juryo this time round.

>>228872
>back to back yusho
>not an instant promotion
he could get a 10-5 and get the rope if uts back to back.

>>228873
They're gonna get denied by Nobehara

>>228876
>Nobehara
1-6

>>228877
>His only win being the one that cockblocks Asanoyama from juryo
Personally I want Okaryu to make juryo.

>>228876
If Nobehara breaks Enho's neck, how many subscribers will Futagoyama lose?

>>228879
>Futagoyama
screw them, they just make the same boring slop videos over and over again, I don't know how anyone could stand watching something so uncreative and repetitious.
did you see the Tatsunami boys eating the world's largest onigiri? that's entertainment, they really put some thought into coming up with that one.

>>228880
Personally I don't like that kind of contrived content
Slice of life is better

>>228880
They ordered a single giant onigiri at first then later ordered one each after they realised how fucking stupid it was. Great content there. From the video it seems like they didn't even talk to the place beforehand to make sure they knew what was going to be ordered or expected.

>>228880
>I don't know how anyone could stand watching something so uncreative and repetitious.
You mean... something like sumo?

>>228880
Tatsunami is forced soul, and you can't change my mind. Futagoyama is boring and repetitive, and that's 95% of the appeal, similar to the Nordic long train journey videos or playing Runescape. The remaining 5% is is the occasional funny line from one of the boys.

>>228884
No, the remaining 5 is Koga's eyebrow.

>>228882
neglecting to do background research only makes it more likely for the video to go off the rails and become even more entertaining than had originally been expected.

>>228886
>background research
Nigga these people eat at least 5x what a regular nip eats, they should absolutely contact restaurants beforehand to notify them that a platoon of fatsos is heading down. Imagine 25 people randomly going to a restaurant without warning.

>>228887
go back to watching futagosloppa reruns numbskull

>>228888
Their sloppa is the best so okay? The only good thing about T*tsusloppa is Okaryu and the occasional Hoshoryu appearance.

>>228886
>off the rails
None of the stables would be allowed to do it at all unless it was agreed beforehand that everything would be above-board and focused on harmless, inoffensive topics. It's impossible to go "off the rails" when all you're doing is going to eat rice at a restaurant, and if they did anything chaotic or anti-social the resulting video would never get released. Beyasloppa is not a fun, spontaneous slice of life, it's a revenue stream and PR opportunity.

There is literally no correct answer here. Daieisho will most likely go 8-7 which is a mediocre pick. The others are a complete crap shoot.

>>228891
WTK

>>228891
You can't ever believe in Takayasu, so he's out. Wakatakakakagakakage has been rising up nicely, so he's doomed to have a bad basho now to even things out. Kirishima seems to be on the up and up, but he's still riddled with injuries and has probably just been blasting performance enhancers and painkillers and will have to cycle off and do terribly in a basho. Daieisho can be relied upon to put up mediocre results, and guaranteed mediocrity is better than potential catastrophe.

wakatakakoga is too small to be taken seriously at the highest levels of competition

Okay faggots here it is.

>Onosato
It's his 3rd yusho hangover, he's used to it, Kisenosato won't let him not rope.
>Daieisho
Statistically the best pick here.
>Abi
At M2? Free pick.
>Aonishiki
No reason to not pick this guy here.
>Roga
Only dropped due to injury which he seems to be over.
>Tobizaru
He's out of the joi. No reason to think he won't crush.

>>228897
>Tobizaru
>out of the joi
That means he's going to fight joijin and other mid-maegashira (Kinbozan, Aonishiki, Hakuoho, Onokatsu, etc). He hasn't even gone double digits since 2021, what exactly is he going to crush?

>>228898
You're looking at 4 year old stats on a guy who's kept in the joi since then. Dude.

>>228897
>Roga
he might've only dropped due to injury, but he doesn't have a career history of being all that good in makuuchi to begin with, 6 bashoes and 4 MKs out of them.

>>228900
I was gonna come back with snark but I actually can't defend this. Going +7.5 ranks on a 38-37 record is some lucky shit. I still think he's above M14w thobeit. And he has his meals cooked by Koga.

>>228889
Personally I’m a shunrai and akua enjoyer

>>228896
How many cups do you have, big man?

Punished zakura is here and healthy 15-0 yusho vs a 14-1 onosato

>>228901
Nearly everyone got a little bit of a rankings boost from the Terunofuji & Takakeisho retirements, but Roga also managed to get zero demotion on all of his MKs.

>>228902
Akua is top grade entertainment both in the slop and on the Dohyo. Hopefully he can KK and we get to see 15 days worth of him in juryo in July.

>>228897
Here what is
What is this for

>>228908
Go to bed

You Wanna Come Hang Out In My Thread And Declare An Open Declaration For A Duel At The BudoKan Big Dude?

>>228911

Trannytame bros how we feeling for nastu? He will yusho this time for sure.

>>228932
My expectations are low.

I like Babutame but oshi sumo is hard to do well and especially so in the top divisions with the big boys, I just don't think he's strong enough to use that style effectively up there

>>228932
I hope he stays safe and completes his 15 days without any complications.

>>228937
maa sou ssu ne

>>228932
Depends on how much Koga can fluff him up before the fights.

my boy koga is quite simply right-angled

>>228932
I don't think he will. Makushita awaits

>>228928
>I seriously hope you guys don't makekoshi this

Real chances of Nabatame vs Mita playoff in juryo? (Miyabiyama shikona duel)

>>228573
>>he doesn't participate in Usagi Storytime over on >>>/co/
https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnSumoDataRikishi/profile/4307/
>>228947
>chance
Yes.
>real
No.

>>228936
he will keep on adding weight and power until he gets there or his knees explode, whichever comes first. he slapped the shit of aonishiki but it wasn't enough to get the win, so he needs more power if he wants to be able to defeat makuuchi level talent.

>>228955
Nabatame can't reasonably put on much more weight and power - he's two centimeters taller than Takakeisho and three kilograms lighter. He just doesn't have the frame to carry much more useful mass, and he doesn't have Takakeisho's gift for oshizumo either. I think if he keeps himself at his current size and body composition throughout his prime fighting years, he has a good chance at being a juryo mainstay. If he gets any heavier it's going to be a hindrance.

Nabatame needs to jerk off more to train that BIG RIGHT HAND.

>>228959
Takakeisho was much fatter in his prime than Nabatame currently is. More weight can and will be added.

Takakeisho was a fat bitch.

>>228967
There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.

The thing is, mentally, we have Nabatame in a sort of limbo where it's impossible for him to win, and then we discover the army of useless rikishi who are in juryo by chance.
Plus, Nabatame still has room for several powerups:
>Nabatame gets improved parry with his right arm
>Nabatame gets to solidify his weight, making him more muscular and less fat
>Nabatame gets a trans girlfriend who cheers him up and gives him something to fight for

Let the Futagoyama stable cook...

>>228968
>"TAKANOSHO!!!! TAKANOSHO!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"
>Takanosho enters the bathroom
>"W-What the hell do you want?!"
>Takakeisho is in the bathtub with his dirty mawashi on
>"Play the opening song of ABEMA... and then throw the whole pot of chanko on me..."
>"...N-No! You'll die!"

Maybe Tokiwayama should have reduced the number of hallucinogens they used in the chanko...

>>228969
>Let the Futagoyama stable cook...
Let him do what? What are we letting Koga do? Put estrogen in their food?

>>228971
Only in Keiga's portion, the boy's got better tits than any of your wives.

>>228973
>tfw It's your turn for Keiga's paizuri special

>>228974
I only have eyes for Koga's paizuri special.

>>228967
That fat bitch was a sumo genius

>>228976
One trick hippo.

>>228976
>ICHI
>NI
>SAN
>SHI
>ZUNA JANAI

>>228974
>>228975
For me, it will always be Aoiyama

>>228979
Imagine what Ura experienced in that moment.

>>228983
Turns out the tiny lump on Hokutofuji's head is the full extent of his brain.

>>228944
Don’t be stupid you don’t win 10 in a row in juryo then drop down to makushita he is too strong for those shitters. He will be in makuuchi by the end of the year.

>>228985
>you don’t win 10 in a row in juryo then drop down to makushita
Yes you do. It happens all the time.

i'm making a big pot of tonjiru to volumemaxx my dinner tonight

>>228986
You are coping. I hope you have the integrity to come back after natsu and admit Trannytame is destined for makuuchi after his yusho or jy this basho.

>>228988
Coping with what? I hope the guy does well, you just said something stupid. I'm casually scrolling through just last basho's banzuke and already Fujiazuma, Chiyonoo, and ASANOYAMA fit the bill.

>>228977
he could push, slapdown and henka
that three tricks, kid

Is winning really that hard
Just push the other guy out

>>228967
f o u r
o
u
r

total
onosharto
death

>>228983

>>228995
Just push lmao

>>228985
the blackest eyes
the devils eyes

>>228980
aggravated bliss

>>228665
Threads dedicated to every cute girl that anons spotted in a basho audience.

>>229007
Thread dedicated to the lovely London lasses in the crowd during the upcoming exhibition.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95Eq7tc3F6U&ab_channel=ChrisSumo

F R E S H
R
E
S
H

If Zak wrestles like crap again this basho, I think it's safe to say he'll be gone from ozeki soon. Out of the last 4 he looked like a sack of garbage lucky to scrape as many wins as he did 3 times and an immovable god the other one. If he's not improved this time, he'll have cemented himself as being over the hill and only awaiting demotion in my mind.

>>229012
Only need 8 wins in 30 in perpetuum to remain ozeki forever.

>>229010
I really, really hope the rikishi go out in the surrounding area. Imagine them blindly stumbling into Whitechapel and getting robbed lmao.

>>229014
I don't think anyone who isn't English is really aware of the vast potential for embarrassing trouble if the boys are allowed to roam around in London - it's not the 90s any more. If the JSA is sensible, the rikishi will be worked to exhaustion and kept on a tight leash. Of course, the JSA is rarely sensible or forward-looking, so we shall have to wait and see.

>>229015
Fucking hell imagine a group of browns actually rearing up to them and the rikishi not realising that they're all carrying knives.

>>229016
Well there's a reason why their government banned ninja knives recently, they knew rikishi are weak to those.

>>228989
Asanoyama got injured and sat out 10000 bashos it’s not comparable. Nabatame is just starting to hit his prime. When you’re wrong and he has a strong basho I’d like you to write a heart felt apology letter, translate it to Japanese and send it to Trannytame.

Why does hosh have so many pimples and zits on his ass

>>229027
Why has he put on 40 kilos of mostly muscle since starting professional sumo?

Tbh I think it's ok for pro athletes to use steroids

but they should either all use them or none of them

>>229031
It's bad enough children are encouraged to become athletes in the first place, we can at least discourage them from doing dangerous shit like steroids while they do it.

>>229032
Steroids aren't that dangerous
you should see the dipshits on /fit/

>>229027
He's just a zisty fella

>>229035
>sex with rikishi
>on camera
KINO

>>229037
How come they're always eating? At this rate they're gonna get fat :/

>>229035

>>228983

>>229023
>Asanoyama got injured
>it’s not comparable
Did you skip March?

>>229040
Me on the right.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZZgqCJcl44&ab_channel=%E3%81%93%E3%81%9F%E3%81%A1%E3%82%83%E3%82%93%E3%81%93

はい!
俺も人気っ!(笑)

>>229033
Eh, they can be. There's a fuckton of anabolics out there and little proper research as they are officially banned from competitions. I frankly wish it were more transparent so athletes could inform themselves properly on what to use and in what dosages.

>>229049
Athletes shouldn't be using fucking anything that isn't a good square meal. Playing whack-a-mole with new anabolics will never stop people cheating because there's always new anabolics. Or better yet, just accept that COMPETITIONS ARE FUCKING RETARDED BECAUSE THERE'S ALWAYS CHEATERS.

>>229050
If everyone has access to them (which they do) then it's a fair playing field, and some competitors are choosing to handicap themselves by not making full use of the tools available. Any world-class athlete, especially in combat sports, would be an absolute fool if he didn't have regular appointments with a sports physiotherapist, for example, because it's a huge benefit that all his rivals will be availing themselves of. It is futile to try and stop hyper-competitive people from doing whatever they can to give themselves an advantage, and anyone who wants to see the best of the best doing their best ought to support their choices to push themselves further with steroids and supplements.

>>229050
Yes let's never compete
Participation trophies for everyone

We should be using athletes to push the boundaries of humanity

They should submit to biomedical experimentation and cybernetic augmentation

>>229055
From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me.

>>229050
Why are you on a sports board?

>>229031
Vials of test are cheap as fuck, so they can all be on it. it helps, but it can lead to more injuries. becomes a personal choice
examples
tamawashi is low dose if any and has lasted forever
wtk and assman are roid goblin and gets injuries all the time

>>229049
>wish it were more transparent so athletes could inform themselves properly on what to use and in what dosages.
everyone responds to substances differently.
there are plenty of blood testing companies now that will tell you if you are fucking yourself up or not

>>229060
It's not like steroids are new anymore - looking at how many world records have been smashed every decade since the 70s and 80s makes it plain that there are plenty of veteran experts out there well-placed to give advice.

>>229062
im not doubting that, but some of the reasons we are still getting records at the olympics with all the testing measures is because they're way better at using data to make stacks vs asking the big guy in the locker room how much to inject weekly
a full blood pannel will tell you were you should push more, where you should pull back, and what might not be doing enough to justify toxicity from it.

>>229064
That's really what I meant - that there's decades of experience in the "industry" already, and there will absolutely be places and people that athletes can go to to give them professional guidance for optimal steroid use. Of course, here in /sumo/ we know damn well that none of our boys do that, and are probably following the same regimen that their coaches were 20 years ago.

>>229041
It was a minor acl tear. He will heal on the dohyo.

>>229065
>probably following the same regimen that their coaches were 20 years ago
I think that's probably more common than you might expect in all sports. How many professional athletes have been busted for turinabol across the last 50 years? How many have used it without getting caught?

>Koga, my archnemesis...!
>H-Hi Nabatame-zeki

>>229065
its painfully obvious there are only a handful of people that understand training in japan at all

If you can't succeed entirely on basic exercises and practice matches then you're a shitter, simple as.

>>229071
It's often said that Japan has lived in the year 2000 since 1980, with regard to electronics and small quality of life innovations. Unfortunately, the same seems to be true for strength and combat training, and every year the rest of the world moves further and further away from 2000.

>>229072
It worked for Hakuho

>>229073
the majority view training as vain and super gay. there's like 3 good gyms in tokyo

>>229076
>the majority view training as vain and super gay
And that's coming from the place where bishounen twinks are considered a desirable manly body type.

>>229076
Japan's issues with body image go a lot deeper than muscle training.

I feel the biggest problem in Japan Sumo is not physical, but skill.
Europeans and Mongolians (with the exception of a few people like Terunofuji and that Estonian guy) usually are not successful due to being freakish strong. They are successful due to superior skill.

Takanoyama was super skinny and light. Hoshoryu is not that strong.

And this is somewhat surprising to me, since Japan is one of the best grappling nations in the world. Judo, Wrestling, BJJ...

>>229073
To be fair, the West was better in 2000 than it is now.

>>229058
Why is a religion thread on a sports board?

>>229076
>there's like 3 good gyms in tokyo
Nigga just go lift weights with good form how the fuck can a gym be good or bad lmaooooo

>>229082
Why are there 30 religion threads on a history board?

>>229052
>If everyone has access to them (which they do) then it's a fair playing field
They don't. Anabolic steroids are a Schedule 3 controlled substance in the US and it's a federal crime to possess them without a prescription. It's not just against the rules of whatever sport to use them, it's a federal crime.

>>229083
>Poor diversity of machines
>Low amount of machines
>Weird opening hours
>Exorbitant membership fees
>Lack of competent spotters
>Poor quality equipment
>Inconvenient location
>Substandard hygiene
There are lots of things that can make a gym experience bad, or at least worse than other gyms.

>>229085
Who gives a shit about whether it's a crime or not? The risk of using steroids is having your testicles shrivel up or your heart exploding, and anyone prepared to take that risk is prepared to break some rules.

>>229086
This is one of those posts from someone who's never trained in their life. Protip, with a half rack you can do every single compound movement fairly safely without a spotter. Here's how you can tell if a half rack is good or not:
>Can it hold a bar?
>Yes?
It's good.

>>229088
Anyone serious about a sport or a hobby will quickly realise that just because you can technically do everything with a barebones solo setup doesn't mean that it's the best or most effective way to train. High-quality equipment, peer and near-peer training partners, and ease of access are all massive quality-of-life improvements that progressively build up a big advantage. You are doing yourself a disservice if you allow yourself to continue using sub-par training setups, and you're being needlessly foolish if you lift any serious amount of weight without proper spotters.

>>229089
The entire point of coaches and expensive equipment is having someone to blame when you fail. SPOILER ALERT.

In reality a half rack is literally all you need to lift heavy weights safely and get strong.

>>229090
>I know better than every professional athlete in the world!
>I just do, OK!
Please post a picture of your training shack.

Please God someone post that clip of Asanoyama deadlifting with horrific, back destroying form.

You clowns are missing the actual point of sumo. Japanese MMA fighters, pro wrestlers, boxers, martial artists, and other athletes do modern weight training with modern diet and modern workout routines all the time. The reason why it's shallow in sumo is sumo is seen by Japanese as traditionalist. They don't need modern training methods because it's supposed to be a preservation of their gorillion years old nippon strong folded steel shiko methods.

Sumo with modern standards already exists, it's called international amateur sumo, and it's dumb as hell.

Its places like
https://onigym.tokyo/
vs
http://inthegym.jp/hamamatsucyo/
>>229083
>>229088
>>229090
Lmao, the most dyel take. Take your 5'6 155lbs ass back to the /Cock and Ball Torture/ thread on fit.

Counter point

>>229093
There is hardly any ancient tradition in ozumo, that's pure PR and not something to be taken seriously. Over the past hundred years, sumo has made numerous changes, many of which have been specifically geared towards modernising the sport, like being one of the first sports in the world to use video replay officially for deciding matches, or changing the design of the dohyo itself to make it more suitable for TV broadcasting. More to the point, however, I can't think of any stables that insist on only using old-school, low-tech training methods and nutrition, which is why rikishi today are much bigger and stronger on average than they were in the post-war era. The vast majority of successful wrestlers incorporate various kinds of weight training to their schedules, and are better off for it. This trend will continue, and the young wrestlers of today are less ignorant than their masters were. I predict that the traditional training methods will be almost completely phased out within the next twenty years - and rightly so, because they aren't as good as modern ones.

>>229095
Every stable does things differently, and like much of sumo its generally up to the individual rikishi to pursue training outside of their stable dohyo.

>>229092
I was lucky i found this when I first did. The ig page took down anything with the assman on it. I must immortalize his poor form with only 200kg

Does the yamakah go over the top knot or slide under it?

>>229093
Workout routines don't really change that much. I trained in an extremely famous, world class MMA Gym. They didn't have any special routine.
Nutrition is the big thing.

>>229097
All this technology doesn't make anyone better at anything. It just get someone paid.

>>229099
See >>228941

>>229096
Name a change since 1970.

>>229096
>There is hardly any ancient tradition in ozumo, that's pure PR
Like I said in the post, what matters is what the people are advertised so they spend money for a form of entertainment. Whether that ancient tradition is bullcrap is irrelevant. What matters is that it looks plausible, which means preserving things that at least look plausibly old. But in order to keep that veneer of tradition, you need to have the right mentality to maintain it. Even cargo culting what's old is better than trying to modernize things the wrong way.

There's a reason why stables still get supporters and tourists paying money to watch traditional sumo practices. Nobody shows up to watch them lift weights because you can go to the local gym and watch any random guy lift weights. They want to watch sumo wrestlers doing sumo exercises to prepare for sumo bouts. Sumo is unique, and that's what makes it special. Sanding off that uniqueness, even a little bit, robs it of its appeal.

>>229103
Tachi-ai changes from the 80s and onward, addition of new kimarite in the 2000s, and very recent changes to the tsukedashi systems. I'm sure I've missed some - sumo changes more often than people think.
>>229104
If they want to pretend to be ancient samurai warriors that's fine - but a rikishi is first and foremost a professional athlete and should train accordingly.

>>229105
None of that really changes anything about the "traditional" aspect of sumo and you know it.

>>229105
Here's your modern sumo for modern professional athletes bro

>>229106
All of those things are notable changes since 1970, which is what you asked for. It's not very traditional for stables to have Youtube channels, or even for stables to allow all manner of foreign tourists come and watch the practices - another example of sumo making changes to better suit its changing position and prestige in the modern world. Sumo will continue to change, as all things must, and even the crustiest old conservatives in the JSA are aware of this and have presided over change themselves.
>>229107
Proper athletic clothing, the horror! Maybe poor old Wakatozakura's asshole wouldn't have rotted off if he had worn lightweight and breathable clothing under his mawashi. I agree that women's sports are a parody of real sports, but that's beside the point really, isn't it?

>>229081
>Takanoyama was super skinny and light
Takanoyama wasn't even that good. He never won a yusho in any division and would've never sniffed makuuchi had the ranks not been gutted from the matchfixing scandal.

If we look at the real top division European rikishi

>Gagamaru
>Tochinoshin
>Baruto
>Aoiyama
>Kotoosho
Other than Kotoosho, they were all brickhouses (and it's not like Kotoosho was small either).

>>229108
None of which has changed sumo.

>>229109
>>229109
>Takanoyama wasn't even that good.
Have you ever beaten Tamawashi?
Also, KotooSHU

>>229110
According to you, changes in the rules don't count, changes to the ring don't count, changes to recruitment don't count, and changes to fan accessibility don't count. What, hypothetically, would count? Nobody in their right minds would say that sumo today is the same as sumo a century ago, or that the sumo of 1925 was anything like the ancient entertainment, rituals, and folk customs that "mainstream" sumo eventually sprung from.

>>229113
Changing the stable system obviously, since the fucking conversation was about training.

>>229114
The conversation about how lots ofthe wrestlers (even the shitters) lift weights regularly now, instead of doing nothing but traditional exercises? What about the conversation about the new training methods being introduced by fresh oyakatas, like in-house video replays for active review, or how Kotoshogiku is abandoning the chanko duty system and hiring a proper chef so the rikishi can get proper nutrition? Everything in sumo has changed, and will continue to change as time goes on. I know you're deeply autistic and uncomfortable with change, but you really do have no choice but to accept that it happens, even in your favourite "traditional" interests.

>>229115
>ctrl+f
>no results
Why would I be referring to coversations that aren't in this thread you absolute dumbass?

>>229115
>favourite
Ha. With such pompous shitposting as this, I knew you must have been British. Easily the worst members of this general.

>>229093
I guess you missed the feisty episode of sumo prime time

Guy

Bad news for ura fans. He is not going to get over that sanyaku hump any time soon

>>229096
>I predict that the traditional training methods will be almost completely phased out within the next twenty years - and rightly so, because they aren't as good as modern ones.
This will never happen. Even the oyakata who are all aboard with modern weightlifting like Hakuho/Miyagino and Yoshikaze/Nakamura still advocate the traditional exercises on top of it. It's also used for marketing and connecting with the public for their sumo health exercise series.

>>229121
How far could she go

>>229126
Low Sandanme at least.

>>229033
>Steroids aren't that dangerous
lmao

>>229128
Chopsticks are dangerous if you use them wrong.

>>229129
Wow, the worst argument I've ever seen. Congratulations.

>>229130
Don't you have scones to bake, Neville?

>>229128
Sumo is dangerous. What's the difference?

>>228880
>did you see the Tatsunami boys eating the world's largest onigiri? that's entertainment, they really put some thought into coming up with that one.
>they just say "Uma!" five thousand times
lmao, I love these inarticulate fatasses.

>>228999
>>228995
>pull

>>229131
Must be nice living in a country where the stereotype is that you bake scones and have an old-fashioned name.

This is it. May. The month Onosato meets his destiny.

>>229139
I wonder if they actually do any studying whatsoever once they join a stable. Even just making them read a book for an hour or two a few times a week would do wonders for them.

>>229145
Even if you started off smart, full speed headbutts every day for years means you're not staying smart for long in a stable. You get the impression that a lot of them didn't start off smart anyway.

>>229146
Okay lets compromise then. How about just teaching them words to describe food beyond うま!

>>229012
He’s 27 and obviously super skilled and entering his prime unless he tore his acl and is just not saying anything and thugging it out he’s fine. He’s already proved he’s figured hoshoryu out onosato when he’s healthy and takerfuji even he’s not 100% he’s just a little injured.

Zak had the most wins of any rikishi in 2024. Anyone calling him bad is retarded.

>>229149
>most wins of 2022: Wakatakakage
>most wins of 2023: Kirishima

>>229152
Zak also had the most wins after Wtk in 2022

>>229105
>a rikishi is first and foremost a professional athlete
According to the JSA, a rikishi is first and foremost a cultural worker. The self-proclaimed purpose of Grand Sumo is to preserve the cultural practice of sumo wrestling.

>>229153
>Zak also had the most wins after Wtk in 2022
I suppose, technically, yes.

>>229154
>to preserve the cultural practice of sumo wrestling
...in their capacity as professional athletes, as opposed to historians, archivists, part-time volunteers, or any of the many roles involved in preservation of culture. The JSA's main function is to hold and promote official sumo tournaments, and a rikishi's main function is to compete in those tournaments.

>>229156
Indeed. Rikishi are cultural workers first and foremost, who fulfill their duty through professional sport competitions.

>>229157
There's a simple way to resolve this. Split the JSA up into a cultural division and a sporting division, and see which one runs out of money the fastest. It's my opinion that the traditions and culture of sumo are almost entirely artificial, most of them being far more recent than people assume (like nearly all "ancient traditions" in modern countries). I think the true value of sumo is in the ruleset and in the metagame that that ruleset gives rise to, and that, to me, is the most relevant and most important thing the JSA contributes to the sport as a whole.

>>229158
There would be no JSA if the Japanese government didn't keep it afloat and the Japanese government deems it valuable on the grounds of cultural preservation. As a sporting event alone, sumo would die out long ago.

>>229159
The Japanese government deems it valuable in its status as Japan's national sport. There are lots of sumo variants and local pseudo-sumo rituals around Japan that are just as culturally and historically relevant, but receive far less attention from the government because they aren't economically viable in the slightest. Professional sumo is directly descended from patronage sumo, and shares the same core function of being a sporting event to attract paying spectators. Would it be able to do so without government assistance today? It would be a lot more likely to do so if it was able to modernise and compete on equal footing with other sports, like other forms of combat sport manage to do around the world. Sumo is interesting and enjoyable in its own right and, as sumo around the world is continuing to prove, doesn't depend on the JSA or the Japanese government.

>>229160
Japan already has shoot wrestling organizations. A bunch of them popped up in the 80s and 90s and serve as the prototype for MMA in Japan. If the Japanese audience or tourists wanted to watch modernized wrestling then they'd watch one of those. They still exist and are still doing shows. People watch sumo for the cultural reasons.

It's like how Japanese people still go to traditional kabuki and noh shows even though modern theatre still exists.

>>229160
Everything about this is wrong.

>>229161
That's a silly thing to say. They can go and watch a different sport, but the JSA has no rival organisations holding their own tournaments. You can't say how successful (or not) such a rival organisation might be, save by your comparison to other traditional forms of entertainment and how well they compete with more modern alternatives (not very well, in financial terms).
>>229162
Not an argument.

>>229163
>but the JSA has no rival organisations holding their own tournaments
That's because once you modernize sumo it stops being sumo. "Modern sumo" is just MMA. There are even organizations that have ringouts, like the one ex-saltman has been fighting in.

>>229164
The production on that fight was fucking weird

>>229163
>Not an argument.
I would, but 4chan has a post size limit, Neville.

>>229162
The first half was right, he just ends up with the exact wrong conclusion from it.

>>229167
Fair.

>>229160
Japan doesn't have an official national sport. People just say it's sumo because they can.

>>229163
>>229164
After Shunjuen, Osaka Sumo was restarted as an alternative to the NSK, and it shuttered after only a few years.
Though, the NSK's legitimacy comes only from its backers' willingness to support it.

>>229170
>After Shunjuen
So 1932, long before modern day martial arts.
>Osaka Sumo was restarted as an alternative to the NSK, and it shuttered after only a few years.
Because they tried modernizing it and the fanbase didn't like it. It stopped being the sumo that the supporters wanted.
>Though, the NSK's legitimacy comes only from its backers' willingness to support it.
You're like one more brain cell away from figuring it out.

>>229164
>"Modern sumo" is just MMA
This is such a catastrophically retarded statement that I don't even know where to begin. Sumo would have the same ruleset even if the wrestlers weren't banned from driving or forced to live in a stable, it would be the same sport without the kabu system or the beer and chanko nutrition plan. The concept of sumo wrestling is completely independent from JSA-specific traditions like the elevated dohyo and the elaborate hairstyles. Modernising sumo doesn't mean introducing ground-and-pound or changing the basic rules, it means doing away with the unnecessary and anachronistic norms and methods that the JSA currently uses. Sumo exists outside of Japan without all of the Shintoist mumbo-jumbo and assorted cultural baggage, and is growing in popularity every year.

>>229163
>>229172
We've all seen what modernised sumo looks like. It's called amateur sumo and it's hot garbage.

>>229173
Why would you expect professional quality from amateur events? This is universal in sports and doesn't tell you anything about the sport itself, only that people who are good at something expect to be paid for it.

>>229172
The reason why you're retarded is that, if you say "it's okay to get rid of these aspects of sumo" then you're fine with getting rid of any other aspect of sumo that makes it unique. Japanese martial arts have precedent with this: just look at how much judo was fucked with in order to chase international respectability as an Olympic sport. All those things about the sumo ruleset that you pretend you'll be fine with will be fucked with in order to chase the same international respectability, until sumo is unrecognizable and there's nothing unique about it next to all the other MMA adjacent styles like U-Kei.

>>229172
>unnecessary and anachronistic norms and methods that the JSA currently uses. Sumo exists outside of Japan without all of the Shintoist mumbo-jumbo and assorted cultural baggage
Nobody wants that shit

The tradition gives sumo its soul

You just want mma gayness and commercialization

>>229174
Because plenty of athletes dominated both spheres at once ever since amateur sports stopped banning athletes for participating in professional events.

>>229175
Look how much more successful and prominent judo is now that it's achieved international respectability. Look at how much more people decide to go into judo instead of joining professional sumo every year. You picked an awful example, because judo is in an infinitely better place due to modernisation efforts and international appeal, and the only people who have a problem with that are whining conservatives who never experienced the old-fashioned sport you're trying to argue in favour of. Judo is fine. Judo is better than fine, and sumo will follow its example or go extinct.
>>229176
Yes, I want sumo to focus more on being a successful professional sport rather than deliberately handicapping itself in pursuit of "soul". Do you genuinely believe that the yokozuna is banishing evil spirits? If not, you've already accepted that sumo is a commercial enterprise and that the rituals are just fanservice.

>>229178
>Do you genuinely believe that the yokozuna is banishing evil spirits?
Can you prove he's not? Checkmate.

>>229178
I wish someone would banish this evil spirit

>>229180
Agreed. Everyone post their favorite shiko.

>>229179
>>229180
I accept your concessions and look forward to my next victory.

>>229181
Here's mine

>>229178
Judo is constantly being discussed by IOC organizers as one of the sports to drop and keeps having to change its competitive rules to be flashier and less like western wrestling. If it's supposedly so much more popular then it hasn't helped in that regard.

>>229185
Judo is unquestionably one of the most popular and prominent martial arts in the world. It was an awful example to use and you know it.

>>229187
Then why do they have to keep fucking their own rules because the IOC says so?
It's a cycle every Olympic period. IOC decides whether to include new sports. In order to include new sports they need to drop current ones. IOC says "do we really need wrestling and judo together when they're basically the same?" Judo bends the knee and changes its rules. Rinse and repeat. All that supposed popularity doesn't help it where it's needed the most, apparently.

>>229178
I wish some evil spirit would banish our current yokozuna

>>229189
All sports have to do as the IOC says if they want to be included in the Olympics. Why would it be otherwise? However, this is beside the point - judo exists independently of the Olympics, and has a packed international calendar full of prestigious and high-quality competition. The organisers of those competitions can use whatever rules they like, whether or not the IOC approves.

>>229191
>All sports have to do as the IOC says if they want to be included in the Olympics.
That's literally the problem, because it means the sport is not truly run by the people within that sport for the purpose of promoting and preserving that sport, but rather run by the IOC for the purpose of fucking around with based on their whims. Anyone who wants the same to happen to sumo can fuck off.

>>229147
Be real, do you regularly describe the food you eat with friends and family in a more articulate way? This conversation better not be coming from a person who answers with variations of "the food is good," as opposed to describing its taste and texture thoroughly.
>>229187
https://www.sumo.or.jp/pdf/en/Expert_Panel_Recommendations_on_the_Preservation_and_Development_of_Ozumo.pdf
Chapter 1.2 briefly delves into Judo and its history of internationalization. It would help to read it for this conversation's sake.

>>229192
The IOC has no decision-making power for competitions outside its purview. The governing bodies responsible for various sports have no obligation to follow IOC recommendations or rulesets. You're talking absolute nonsense.

>>229194
You literally just said they have to in order to stay as Olympic sports, with all the international prestige associated. You can't have it both ways, anon.

>>229196
If you want to be in the Olympics then you have to abide by Olympic rules. You are (intentionally?) failing to acknowledge that international competition and respectability isn't exclusive to the Olympics - many sports, while represented at the Olympics, nonetheless have non-Olympic competitions that are seen as equally prestigious or more prestigious in their calendars. Football is a good example here - it will never be dropped from the Olympics, but far more importance is given to a competition like the World Cup, which operates completely outside the IOCs jurisdiction.

>>229197
If international sumo wants to have prestigious international non-Olympic competitions, then it can do so while remaining sumo. Right now every single sumo event outside Japan combined has less interest than a JSA jungyo tour of bongland, and it's because deep down inside everyone there knows that they're not really doing real sumo.

>>229171
>Because they tried modernizing it and the fanbase didn't like it. It stopped being the sumo that the supporters wanted.
Completely false. Do you have any idea what the issues driving Osaka Sumo were? Wage reform. Is that "modernization" to you?

>>229198
>every single sumo event outside Japan combined has less interest than a JSA jungyo tour of bongland

>>229198
What is "real sumo"? Make your argument without resorting to tired old nonsense about nebulous and ill-defined notions of "Japaneseness". The JSA is staring down the barrel of a recruitment crisis and is coming under more and more scrutiny for their unprofessional and archaic methods - international sumo is progressing rapidly and constantly growing in popularity. The JSA is coming under more and more pressure to modernise, and it will do so, because the alternative is irrelevancy and extinction.

>>229178
>Do you genuinely believe that the yokozuna is banishing evil spirits?
Yes

>>229081
>the biggest problem in Japan Sumo is not physical,
but that they feed their children on rice, estrogen beans and pocky and j-slop, they start feeding their kids eggs and meat they'll end up with more of their kind in the top ranks 20 years afterwards

>>229202
mong zunas can't do it cause they're tengriists.
thats why kisenosato ack'd so fast after promotion, after nearly two decades with no proper yokozuna the evil spirits had grown very strong and the fight to banish them nearly killed kisenosato. some say the evil spirits won or weren't completely dealt with and kisenosato ran out of power and fighting spirit before he was able to completely cleanse the dohyo's aura.

>>229205
In fact, in a recent interview, Terunofuji stated that the evil spirits were SO powerful that at night he heard objects moving around inside his house and some shadow figure even tormented his young son. He tried to withstand the full power of the evil spirits with his knees, but it apparently wasn't enough. Damn, just look at Hoshoryu: he assumed the role of Yokozuna and was instantly injured.
The evil spirits dominate sumo and will soon raise their unholy champion... the Anti-Yokozuna...

>>229203
Enho never ate his rice

>>229203
Takerufuji eats 600 eggs a month

>>229207
It's Onosato, isn't it. I knew he was too big and too fast to be fully human. As soon as they put the rope on him, it'll turn black.

>>229097
they look like frog skeletons as viewed from above

if i was a oyakata i would bring my single government mandated foreigner from darkest vantablack africa, and his shikona would be Ganguro

>>229201
>because the alternative is irrelevancy and extinction.

>>229212
name him yasuke and have him be tachimochi to a yokozuna

chuds = owned

>>229152
Zak's 2024 number utterly mogged WTK in 2022 as per >>229155 since he got 66 iirc.

>>229219
Saying someone isn't feeling well is a common excuse for "they couldn't be bothered" or "shut up and fuck off". He was probably busy doing something else like ass fucking Hoshoryu's girlfriend.

>>229218
I was talking about how unhelpful "wins in a calendar year" is as a predictive stat. Although, also "last 6 basho" gives us a very funny result

>>229219
Translation:
>He's too powerful, I can't make him turn up if he doesn't want to. Last week he made me drink ten gallons of sake.

>>229220
He's dead, Jim

>>229222
>HE KEPT CALLING ME TWO-YUSHONOSATO ;_____;

>>229219
>He has not been seen doing any sumo after the banzuke was released
Is this guy retarded? Does he just not WANT to win two in a row?

>>229225
He doesn't want to fight those pent up evil spirits man

>>229225
>Rikishi shouldn't have to work so hard on tour, it's injuring them!
>ONOSATO TOOK A FUCKING DAY OFF??? HOLY SHIT WHAT A COMPLETE RETARD, HE'S LITERALLY NEVER WON A YUSHO BEFORE SO HAS NO IDEA WHAT HE'S DOING!!!

Shut up.

>>229227
You understand that there's more than one person posting on this board right? And also nobody even said the second thing. There's a difference between taking one day off and not doing any sumo at all since the banzuke's release.

>>229228
Resting properly is just as important as the physical training itself. Taking a few days to gather your strength before a last training stint before the basho sounds like a good plan to me. He's not gonna lose strength over a few days lmao. Do you really think Kisenosato of all people would let him do something to compromise his chances of roping?

>>229229
>let him
>let
ahahahahahaha

>>229230
;)

>>229231
I wouldn't try to force Onosato to do anything unless I had a whole riot squad. He'd have that golf club off you in a heartbeat.

Onosato would fucking kickflip you.

>>229232
What exactly can a golf club do to Onosato in the first place?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuQxdOB-k9o&ab_channel=%E3%82%B5%E3%83%88%E3%82%A6%E9%A3%9F%E5%93%81%E5%85%AC%E5%BC%8F%E3%83%81%E3%83%A3%E3%83%B3%E3%83%8D%E3%83%AB

Reminder.

>>229236
Cute!

>>229236
LIFE IS A TREASURE

>>229219
Onosato has drinking problem?

>>229236
Offical /sumo/ theme

>>229236
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no9DbKte37g&ab_channel=%E3%82%B5%E3%83%88%E3%82%A6%E9%A3%9F%E5%93%81%E5%85%AC%E5%BC%8F%E3%83%81%E3%83%A3%E3%83%B3%E3%83%8D%E3%83%AB

She's so cute bros...

If Eurosport Sumo ever returned, they better keep the caricatures.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1B_5p_FiANQ

>>229251
>That first fight
It doesn't look remotely fair.

https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/202505020000844.html
https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/202505020000546.html
Oonosato goes 6 wins & 10 losses at the YDC souken, fails to impress
His first time doing sumo in his keiko in 6 days (speculation?)

Results:
Houshouryuu 18-4
Oonosato 6-10 (1-8 against Houshouryuu)
Kotozakura 6-10

>>229253
H-He's uh...just saving himself for the actual basho!!

>>229253
>Houshouryuu 18-4
This is what happens when there are no kinboshi to give out

>>229253
Onosato, more like Onosharto

What’s the benefit of the sumo heya/ elder stock system

>>229253
Remember when hoshoryu went 14-0 in training but then put up an incredible 5-5-5

>>229259
Guaranteed jobs for you and your friends if you suck up to the right people. A bumbling oaf with CTE can keep occupying one of the limited spots available until he reaches forced retirement age, even if he's awful at coaching.

>>229260
No, but you do

>>229253
Inb4 hosh drops out again

>lays elbow bone chips

>>229262
It’s pretty embarrassing going so hard in practice then getting shit on in competition

>>229178
>Yes, I want sumo to focus more on being a successful professional sport rather than deliberately handicapping itself in pursuit of "soul".
If I wanted to watch an American combat sport then I wouldn't be? I don't watch UFC for a reason. I don't like watching mentally unhinged psychos narrated by a guy whose brain is fried by DMT.

>>229219
Busy hiding the bodies from his last murder

>>229267
Meds.

>>229271
>ummm actually ufc fighters are well behaved and respectful guys
lol

>>229272
Nobody in this thread suggested that sumo be turned into UFC. Meds.

>>229273
Yes they did. Are you blind?

>>229274
People saying that sumo wrestlers could train better is not the same thing as saying they want to watch UFC, unless you somehow think that watching the training is the entertainment

>>229275
>unless you somehow think that watching the training is the entertainment
It is for the supporters and tourists willing to pay for it.

>>229276
How many people pay to watch the training? How many people pay to watch the actual tournaments?

>>229277
>How many people pay to watch the training?
More than the number of people who agree with you.

>>229278
I'm not even the guy you were originally arguing with, but I'm sure he'll be happy that you don't have a answer.

>>229279
Ah, I see we've reached that part of the argument. Sure, sure.

>>229280
OK champ. Don't let those nasty UFC fans get under your skin!

>>229253
Has anyone ever kept a running score of each rikishi's records in training then compared it to their following basho result? I feel like there'd be zero correlation.

One of the major reasons I don't closely follow other combat sports is that most of the fighters are a bunch of chimps. I appreciate the technical aspect, but I can't get invested in the narrative of screaming apes that talk like gang members and have no class. Sumo follows the old tenant of no matter what is happening behind the scenes, you should be acting with decorum in public and I appreciate that. No garbled hoodspeak about how someone's a bitch and you're going to slaughter them in the ring.

>>229276
Sorry, are you talking about jungyou? Jungyou isn't really training...

>>229285
see pic >>229104
Sometimes it's free if the stable building has big windows you can just watch the training from outside, but supporters and tourists do actually pay money to go inside the stable just to watch traditional sumo training. All those YouTubers also spend money so they can make their "I trained like a real sumo wrestler!" videos.

>>229286
They do pay, but this is a sideshow benefiting individual stables. The bulk of sumo income comes from official ticket sales.

>>229286
>"I trained like a real sumo wrestler!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54S_18vmS5c

Wakamotoharu laughing while he trivially resists Micah Parsons never gets old.

Do any of you guys actually do shiko for exercise?

>>229290
No lmao.

Nice video of the recent sanyaku keiko
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOw4eeh2TUI

>>229290
No, but occasionally I slap my belly as if there's an invisible mawashi there. It started about six months after I saw my first basho and I can't stop.

>>229294
I was hauling bags of sand with rips in around at work a few days ago, and was banging sand off my hands against my waist.

How many bouts would you win against Koga right now, having never trained the sport?

>>229296
0, as I'm only 76 kg

>>229296
Every single one.
>AAAAAH!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKZInftFMwQ&t=1s&ab_channel=%E7%9B%B8%E6%92%B2%E3%83%81%E3%83%A3%E3%83%B3%E3%83%8D%E3%83%ABSUMOCHANNEL

Hosh broke Kayo.

>>229296
I'm kyujo right now

>>229297
Don't be so hard on yourself. Koga has been beaten by tiny newbies before in actual competition, and if it's in training he just won't try at all. You could manage at least five.

>>229299
>&t=1s&ab_channel=%E7%9B%B8%E6%92%B2%E3%83%81%E3%83%A3%E3%83%B3%E3%83%8D%E3%83%ABSUMOCHANNEL [Embed]

stop this

>>229302
Have you tried not being a baka gaijin?

>>229303
have you tried looking at the thread since I posted that same video 10 minutes before you

>>229303
Is that on Chrome?

>>229299
>Gasses on 5th
lmao

>>229304
No you didn't, faggot. Mine is an excerpt of Hosh breaking Kayo.

>>229290
Unironically yes. Have been for the past couple years.
It's something you can do countless number of times and see continual imprvement.
My lower back, hips, and quads have always been tight. Doing shiko but also concentrating on being comfortable holding a deep squat has seriously increased my flexibility and basically cured lower back pain from muscle tightness.
I need to work on getting my stance wider, and increasing the angle of my lifted leg in shiko.

>>229308
Teru you are already retired, relax.

>>229309
Teru can't truly retire until he gets back the money Tobi owes him.

>>229310
>JSA HELP ME AAAAAAAACK!!!

>>229292
Hosh looked excellent, definitely a step above the Ozeki not that it'll matter come May when everyone truly fights at 100%. Kirishima seemed VERY workshy. Seems a safe bet that he's still a little injured and just didn't want to trigger anything.

6 months from now Onosato won't be Ozeki. Screencap this.

>>229266

>>229303
Have you tried Tomorrow?

>>229306
Not gas, the knee gave out.

>>229315
We know, hes going to be yokozuna after this basho

>>229308
What about teppo or butsukari

>>229320
If he isn't wearing rope by the end of November it's because his body has imploded somehow.

>>229326
We can only hope.

>my close friend and stablemate onosato rises to yokozuna
>he gives me the honour of being his sword bearer
>we perform the dohyo-iri
>leave the arena and try to put the sword down
>mfw

>>229328
Who even would his wingmen be? Shirokuma and Tomokaze (forma de asshole sake)?

>>229329
Juryo can't be attendants.

>>229330
Wasn't Kotoeiho the banner bearer for Zak when he yusho'd?

>>229329
Takayasu and Oho perhaps?

>>229331
Talking about Yokozuna attendants (tachimochi and tsuyuharai), not in general.

>>229333
>The year is 2040
>Makuuchi has 40 Yokozuna
>The remaining two rikishi must sweep dew and bear the sword in 40 consecutive dohyo-iris every day of the basho

>>229332
But what would happen when Oho becomes yokozuna!?

>>229335
Takayasu and Abi.

>>229322
My hands are unironically probably too soft to teppo, I'm not gonna go out into my backyard and start smacking trees either.
Butsukari requiring having someone else to run into is a bit of a problem as well.

>>229337
>My hands are unironically probably too soft to teppo
Nigga your hand toughness builds up as you use them more. You're like those faggots who say they're too weak to go to the gym. YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT.

>>229338
This

>>229337
When the basho starts, visit one of the streams and watch the Jonokuchi matches. You will see men (boys) out there that make you feel like Arnold Schwarzenegger by comparison. Some people start sumo as big hulking brutes and just get bigger, but most people start skinny and soft. If those young lads can do teppo then so can you - if you don't have a teppole then use a wall.

>>229340
>if you don't have a teppole then use a wall
How about I use my wife's face hahaha

>>229338
I'm not missing the point, I don't want to toughen my hands in that way. I'm sure I could do teppo if I wanted to, but I don't.
I could also go for a run but fuck running, I'm a swimmer.
Next you are going to tell me I should be doing my teppo like Kaisho and shoulder banging things, and then call me a pussy for not wanting to.
>>229340
Brother I'm not a new sumo watcher

>>229342
Me on the left.

>>229341
Then what am I supposed to use as an onahole?

>>229342
>I'm a swimmer.
How to tell people you're gay without telling people you're gay.

>>229342
>I'm a swimmer
How are you posting? Doesn't your PC get wet?

>>229346
If you look at it that way, sumo is arguably more gay. Significantly more skin showing in the crotch and ass, and about sweaty men touching each other with fully clother women watching.

>>229350

>>229346
Combat sports are objectively the gayest sports.

>>229351
I wish fully clothed women would watch me grapple with sweaty men.

>>229351

>>229350
That's a valid point regarding exposure and voyeurism, but that isn't why swimming is gay. It's very telling that you thought it was, though.

If swimming isn't gay why do sperm cells do it???

>>229352
This nigga never watched horse dancing.

>>229357
Fencing.

>>229355
I went to that point because it is the most commonly held viewpoint for the "swimmers are gay" rhetoric.
So in your opinion, what specifically about swimming makes it gay.

>>229358
Sword fighting isn't gay if ladies do it.

>>229359
Fags like you do it.

>>229361
Ah ok, so you don't actually have an answer or actual thought going on in that brain.

>>229225
Closed door training so he can break through to the next level obviously

>>229359
Swimming takes the simple and basic concept of a race and makes it more feminine in every aspect. Firstly, men are placed into an alien environment, and are forced to suppress their natural instincts to return to solid ground, forced to submit to the water (which is universally considered a feminine element in all forms of symbolism). He must move his body in strange ways, accepting all the time that he can't brute-force his way through, because the water is more powerful than he is. Men competing directly against each other are separated by lane barriers, which physically and psychologically detaches him from the core experience of competing against his fellow man, reducing it to effectively a solo sport, perverting man's natural desire to compete and show his strength. Swimming thus favours qualities (physical and mental) that are generally negative or a hindrance in a man's daily life or in more typical sporting activities. It is maladaptive in that sense, and essentially queer in a way that becomes more and more apparent the more you look into it.

Bot post.

>>229364
Oh nice, an actual response, thanks anon.
Also a fairly novel take on first read.
But I can tell you don't actually hold this opinion, and instead were writing purely to prove a point, and in doing so, again missed it.
What you've written has nothing to do with sexual orientation.
Instead making assumptions towards percieved masculinity that must follow your strict views. If anything that need to assert your sexual identity through what you do that that extent betrays an insecurity in your own role as a man.
>>229365
I'm pretty sure that one is actually real, dude is just bored, like me.

>takakeisho will be more ripped than ishiura in your lifetime
FAT FUCK posters in shambles

>>229362
I have lots of thoughts. None of them are about rikishi's asses. Fag.

>>229366
I'm afraid you've missed the point. Homosexuality doesn't exist in a vacuum, but is rather a manifestation of queerness in general, which, although difficult to define in positive terms, can be easily understood in negative terms as a rejection of norms. A leather daddy in San Francisco has very little in common with a repressed clergyman in Gdansk, and this extends to their sexual preferences and behaviours. Nonetheless, both may consider themselves and be considered by others as gay. By extension, neither man has very much in common with a 14 year old non-binary otherkin, and yet they can all be categorised as queer based solely on the fact that they are consciously or otherwise refusing to conform to ordinary standards. Actually engaging in homosexual activities isn't what makes someone gay, the fact he was gay is what caused him to pursue those activities in the first place. This is a very basic outline of the modern understanding of queerness, and I am no expert, but this should be enough to allow you to understand that a sport, hobby, habit, or pastime can be subtly and inherently queer in its own right, with no direct connection to sexuality. This is why swimming is gay.

>>229367
I feel like there has always been one anon who is shocked at post-retirement Takakeisho's weight loss in the /sp/ threads every basho. He looks a lot healthier and happier now, which is good news to me.

>>229366
Settle down, Neville.

>>229364
>>229369
Wrong
it's the speedos

>>229371
I'm american.

>>229369
Idk you are starting to sound more like an expert on queerness to me than anyone else in this thread.
But, you are beginning to stray further from your own initial usage of "gay". Now expanding it to "what society deems queer", or outside of the norms not necessarily related to orientation. When your initial use was to say I want to fuck people of my same gender.
>the fact he was gay is what caused him to pursue those activities in the first place.
This implies casuality of some quantifiable aspect of a person which would then have a direct connection to their sexuality. You are contradicting yourself at this point.
So which is it?
Is God assigning them gay at birth which causes them to participate in "gay" activities?

>>229374

>>229375
get dabbed on

>>229374
You'll have to re-read my posts if you think my usage has strayed, I assure you I've been consistent all along. It was you that decided to think of gayness as being exclusively a carnal matter, invoking the fact that sumo has far more sweaty, grunting manflesh as the focal point of the sport than swimming does. My argument, from the start, sidesteps your view entirely and points to a deeper and less obvious definition of queerness versus normality - I am essentially saying that the symbolically feminine and submissive aspects of swimming constitute a subversive rejection of normal masculinity. It is the rejection of norms and the innate (albeit unconscious) perversity of such an activity that makes it queer. Your insistence that queerness begins and ends with sexual behaviour is your stumbling block here - you are operating under an outdated paradigm. It may seem counter-intuitive, but what a man does with his genitals is perhaps the least relevant aspect when it comes to establishing whether or not he is gay.

>>229378
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_obeR1OIm8&ab_channel=TheLiquidPeople%27sTemple

>>229378
You had it right up until the last sentence.

>>229378
(NTA) You seem to assume that there is a universal definition of masculine that the queer then more or less subtly opposes and/or subverts. What the word "queer" originally meant is simply "weird, not aligned with the norm". Norms are different in different places. The very notion that there are queer men or gay men as opposed to normal men is in and of itself a norm. In a lot of parts of the world, there are only queer behaviors, not queer people.

>>229378
There we go, thank you for finally cooperating, and making it clear that you don't hold a concrete belief and are happy to twist and bend definitions and intentions to suit your goalposts.
You continue to flip flop between orientation, identity, gender roles, and societal norms without actually saying anything to back up your assertions.
So far the only thing that has been consistant is your incorrect usage of the word Gay.

>>229381
A rikishi would actually die if they fell off that.

>>229384
>A rikishi would actually die if they fell off that.
Change the dohyo to be one penny-farthing high.

>>229385
Add treadmills and put it on american gladiators

>>229382
It doesn't matter, in this context, what any given norm is - only that it is being defied. Realistically, however, the conversation is about our own norms and social expectations, and the existence of other ones is a moot point.
>>229384
No definitions have been twisted or bent. Rather, the topics under discussion are far from simple or straightforward and cannot be pared down in order to fit in a convenient box. The definitions in question, such as they are, were already by necessity rather messy and amorphous. This isn't flip-flopping, it's recognising that all of those concepts are interrelated and can't be neatly dissected and discussed independently of one another.

>>229387
Nice job avoiding the entire point of the start of this discussion which is your conflation of gay and queer as interchangeable.
We can discuss deeply nuanced topics if you would like, but just bringing them up isn't doing so.

>>229388
No, the entire point was that swimming is for queers.

>>229389
And you keep doing it.

>>229390
You're not talking to one person you absolute faggot.

>>229391
He is.

>>229392
I am?

>>229391
We are all bot posters anyways dumb fuck.

>>229388
I think you're stuck due to being overly literal here. Nobody has argued that swimming is a direct proxy for male-on-male sex, or that swimming makes you more likely to be homosexual. Any perceived conflation between individual sexual habits, societal concepts of masculinity, and the subversive essence of queerness is caused by improper comprehension on your part.

>>229395
>Nobody has argued that swimming is a direct proxy for male-on-male sex
Obviously. I just said it made you gay. Which I stand by.

>>229387
>A norm need not be defined in order to establish that it is being defied.
That's not how that works, anon. Logic 101.
>Discussion of gayness on a sumo board of an otaku site is obviously exclusively about western societal norms.
Need I point out the contradiction?

>>229395
I'm merely expecting you to keep consistent usage of logic and conotations of words.
I don't believe there has been any fault with my comprehension of your posts. You have not made an actual statement.
>>229396
See this dude know how to say what he feels.

>>229398
I see you also have trouble with comprehension tonight. I never said a norm doesn't need to be defined and that's not a standard interpretation of what I did say. Your second point is disingenuous - it has never been suggested or hinted at that any participants in this thread are from radically differing cultures to each other, we all seem to be and assume each other to be more or less in accord as far as social norms go - thus there is an "our" to be discussed, whether or not this is specifically Western.
>>229399
I have made a statement and explained it extensively, with competent use of language and in short, easy-to-digest posts. It isn't my fault if you still can't make it out, and it should concern you if you genuinely can't.

>>229400
>It doesn't matter, in this context, what any given norm is - only that it is being defied. Realistically, however, the conversation is about our own norms and social expectations, and the existence of other ones is a moot point.
>I never said a norm doesn't need to be defined and that's not a standard interpretation of what I did say.
You may be able to get away with such rhetoric on your brain-rotting social network of choice, but some people here can, in fact, read. A person contradicting themselves and then trying to gaslight others into believing they aren't is a familiar pattern that I've learned long ago to avoid. I would suggest others here to do the same.

>>229402
It doesn't matter whether you're defying the Pacific island penis-gourd norm or the Islamic praying to Mecca norm or any others - the concept of defying the norm remains the same whatever those norms are. This is a more reasonable and standard interpretation of what I said, this is what I was meaning and what I naively expected that you would understand from my comment. I did not say or imply that norms didn't have to be defined - I don't deal in paradoxes and I don't know why you or anyone else would assume I did, generally speaking I like to believe that people agree about what words mean. Nobody is trying to gaslight you, you just got it wrong.

Any rikishi who partakes in western weight training methods should be forcibly shaved bald in shame and demoted back to jonokuchi.

I did not read a single thing you fags posted past the first 2 posts. 4 sentences or less please. Also there's a whole board where you can talk about how gay you are or aren't.

>>229400
You responded to my question "in your opinion what makes swimming gay?".
Gay and queer can have very significantly different conotations depending on how they are used. Your usage of queer has been applied in every possible way, changing on a whim.
As such, you have not posted anything of substance.

>>229406
Again, it isn't my fault that you were operating under the assumption that everyone shares your narrow-minded and outdated ideas about the meaning of words like "gay" and "queer". It's a shame you haven't followed my arguments, and that you're unable or unwilling to, but that doesn't mean the arguments themselves are invalid. If you remain unconvinced then you're free to go ahead with your life believing whatever you want to believe, about swimming, about being gay, and about life itself. As for me, I am unwilling (and perhaps unable) to try any harder to sway your mind.

>>229407
My own opinion was never in question. Your inability to formulate an actual coherent statement is what is on display here.
>operating under the assumption that everyone shares your narrow-minded and outdated ideas about the meaning of words like "gay" and "queer"
I am operating under the socially defined definitions of these two words and how they are used yes, thats how language works. You however, are operating under whatever logic and definition you can to avoid being unable to have a concrete point.

>>229409
Repeating yourself endlessly doesn't make your claim any more correct. I have made perfectly clear statements, explained them at length, and defended them against counter-arguments. It is your fault and your problem if you're unable to understand them, or even accept that they exist. I shall say no more on the matter, it is entirely up to you if you want to continue arguing by yourself - I suspect you'd manage rather well.

>>229410
Well I hope you got some entertainment because your posts ended up being a disappointment.
>Your insistence that queerness begins and ends with sexual behaviour is your stumbling block here - you are operating under an outdated paradigm. It may seem counter-intuitive, but what a man does with his genitals is perhaps the least relevant aspect when it comes to establishing whether or not he is gay.
Gonna save that one though to use later, that's some good stuff.

>>229405
There's a /swim/?

>>229342
>I'm not missing the point, I don't want to toughen my hands in that way.
You are missing the point. Teppo is the equivalent of shiko for your arms. Your hands getting tougher isn't the purpose, but an ancillary benefit.

>>229424
Yeah, but his boyfriend wouldn't like it if his hands got all calloused.

>>229426
I have to keep my hands soft and slender for wrenching on japanese shitboxes and computers.

>>229404
>Any rikishi who partakes in western weight training methods should be forcibly shaved bald in shame and demoted back to jonokuchi.
Takanohana I, c. 1972

>>229429
Guarantee you that he push pressed that.

>le ozempic stare

>>229429
Did I stutter?

>>229432
Takakeisho had to put insane effort to maintain his weight, so I'm not surprised that he is losing weight this fast. Plus I wouldn't be surprised if he took advice from Takanohana about getting slimmer

>>229432
>American can't comprehend that it's possible to quickly lose weight without the use of drugs

>>229436
The fatter you are, the easier it is to lose weight. A 500 pound man has to eat two or three times as much as a normal man just to avoid losing any weight - as soon as he stops gorging himself the weight will disappear. Even Americans can't argue with thermodynamics.

>>229433
You probably do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRQB5lldc08
SLOP SLOP SLOP SLOP SLOP

>>229438
Please don't use the word thermodynamics when talking about the human body. Hell, ozempic is an excellent example of that. My understanding of how it works is that it stops your body from properly digesting food, meaning you can't get all out of the energy out of it. Yes, thermodynamics is not being violated, but it means someone's input and their output are not the same thing. There's no reason to believe this isn't in effect all the time. If it was all about calories, we could just live off petrol.

>>229441
I'm no scientist. A partially-correct pop-sci explanation of something is always good enough for me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNi5PLYly14
Feast on boys

>oyakata, what is my purpose?
>you're the anchor for trannytame's resistance band exercises

What did they mean by this?

>>229445
How do you say "Trannytame" or "AAAHHH" in Japanese? Find out, and then search those terms in older videos' comment sections.

>>229443
Going form Tatsunami to Futagoyama is like and day. Such a weirdly tense atmosphere in the Futagoyama stuff, especially when they're eating.

>>229448
Because everyone wants to sit next to Roga-san at the chanko table.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNi5PLYly14&ab_channel=TheTatsunamiStable-SumoFoods

Thumbnail looks fucking delicious.

>>229448
Well, I'd be tense too if I was trying not to annoy the big boss man at the head of the table. Futagoyama sits there like the Godfather, he's an intimidating presence, especially if you're just a teenager.

Juryo keiko
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Boklqt0qO90

>>229434
did u see how quickly gagamaru dropped all his fighting weight? its pretty easy, just stop stuffing your face with tons of food errryday

Imagine if Natsunami did a video touring their main stable building but it was Hoshoryu doing all the talking and touring.

Where is Schriszoids keikosoken mind reading report?

/aonishiki/ general

https://japannews.yomiuri.co.jp/sports/sumo/20250430-251874/

>>229471
3 weeks from today he will be completing his first yusho.

>>229474
This is absurd, even for you Dan-fellators. Are you actual Ukrainian propagandists or just bored?

>>229475
schizo

Mita is so handsome.

I wish I could make a donation of food to Koga.

>>229479
It's not like they starve him - he's gained ~25 kilos or so since he started sumo without becoming excessively flabby. He's not a small man by any standards. He needs a donation of fighting spirit and competitiveness.

>>229480
It would be nice to donate a ton of sweets or something non-perishable so he has something neat from foreign fans.

Damn the Futa eating really is tense and awkward. No wonder Tatsu had produced a 'zuna while they've produced... Roga.

Here is a compilation of Dan's 15 matches in Osaka, After day 5 he didn't lose to anyone below sanyaku, so he must've been nervous or something those first five days to lose to all the double digit shitters who beat him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqdjFCnePOc

>>229486
yeah futagoyama is kinda cringe, reminds me of teenagers trying to larp as adult professionals while tatsunami is the real thing. the way the futagoyama kids talk about their video game and cartoon watching habits is retarded, don't they know that those are not adult pastimes?

>>229488
The oldest rikishi in Futagoyama-beya is Roga, at 26. Half of them aren't legal adults in Japan.

>>229489
>legal adults
thats just a meme, statutory limits imposed by corrupt politicians isn't what defines someone as an adult. behaving like an adult is what does it. some people take way longer to get there than others, it doesn't just happen automatically on your birthday one year.

>>229490
There's no such thing as "behaving like an adult". Adults behave in a million different ways. That's why adulthood is defined as a biological stage that a majority of people have reached at a particular age. It isn't imposed by politicians, lawmakers just formalise something that everyone is already aware of with common sense. Either way, many of the Futagoyama boys are, in fact, boys and not adult men, and you shouldn't expect them to behave like ojisans.

>>229490
Underaged post.

>>229490
Your 14 year old girlfriend is not "mature for her age". You're a child predator.

>>229493
Koga...

>>229492
you're over 30 years old and you still watch cartoons and play video games like an elementary school kid. grow up

>>229495
Actually playing Mario Kart right now :(

>>229495
>Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.
Written by a wiser and older man than us. You'd do well to give it some thought.

>>229497
lmao this babby thinks someone is going to read it's longwinded, self indulgent wall of text post

>>229497
Descriptive? How was it decided what the word describes?

>>229498
>7 lines is a wall of text
When did you stop taking your ADHD medication? Maybe they should put a screenshot of Subway Surfers on the packet, that might hold your attention for more than three seconds.

>>229487
The loss to Churanoumi may have been legit since Churanoumi is a lower Joi caliber guy who ended up ranked way down the banzuke due to injury related poor performance in January, but Dan losing to the muscle manlet and Ryuden were both flukes and without them Dan would've been in the Yusho playoff of won the title outright at 13-2

>>229501
Oh please if Dan had more earlier wins he would've faced more sanyaku than just Daieisho and got more losses.

>>229501
>>229502
Off-topic nonsense, this is /argu/ not /sumo/.

>>229500
>reeeeee you have to read muh wall of text because of how much I typed or something
get a load of the irrationally outsized sense of entitlement on this babby

>>229504
Being intimidated by short paragraphs is peak adult behaviour.

>>229502
>he would've faced more sanyaku
certainly
>and got more losses.
there is no evidence for that, he beat one sekiwake and lost to the other so its just as good odds that he would've won against other sanyaku as lost to them.

Why is Roga never with them when they go to a restaurant...

>>229488
And Tatsunami stable plays smash bros every night as said in their recent video.
Stop acting like post wall white women who get the ick.

>>229441
It's not entirely about calories but it's about calories enough that that's all you need to focus on.

>>229441
>Please don't use the word thermodynamics
conventional thermodynamics is complete disassociated from anything organic, its just an advanced mathematical construction of kinetic physics that makes use of statistics and it can't cope with the inconvenient realities presented by organic systems.

>>229507

One more week....

>>229507
Propably has koenkai duties to uphold

>>229441
> My understanding of how it works is that it stops your body from properly digesting food
Did you just make this up on the spot? It works by reducing appetite so people eat less so yeah it's still calories in/calories out.

>>229534
When you go get gastroendoscopy done, one of the things they ask in the interview is if you are on ozempic. And if you are, they give you a longer time before the procedure you need to fast for, since apparently it means your stomach contents last for longer

>>229534
Think of it this way: Lets say you have a car that does 30 miles to the gallon, and you put a gallon of fuel into it. Will you get 30 miles out of it? Why not? You put a fixed amount of fuel into it, so why isn't the output a constant?

>>229538
Miles per gallon, while not a perfect model for reality, is nonetheless an important and useful metric that all car manufacturers and buyers care about. It can be used to compare fuel efficiency, and it does that job very well, regardless of messy real-world variables. The same goes for calorie intake versus calorie expenditure.

Who is this freak from Isegahama out-lifting the sekitori?

>>229540
Ochil.

>>229541
He was the guy who couldn't compete officially until Teru retired right?

>>229542
Correct. The prophesied man.

>>229541
When is he entering?

Mind reading report is out!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CidGwjM_9fA

>>229546
Who knows? It would make sense for him to enter after Teru's retirement, but he isn't listed as a heya member yet. Maybe we'll see him in maezumo this basho. I believe he's going on 23 now, he's running out of time unless Isegahama has some special plan.

>>229552
>Wait for the current crop of promising youngsters like to set records
>Suddenly debut your "new guy" who's been training for several years
>Break all the records
>Be hailed as the best oyakata ever

>>229541
Wow top 8? Top 32?

Truly he is the PROPHESIED ONE

Get a fuckin grip

>>229555
That was several years ago. He's been training with sekitori ever since and still hasn't officially started. He's going to murder everyone in the lower divisions.

>>229555
>on 4chan
>can't comprehend jokes

>>229550
Chris is really fellating the fuck out of Hosh

>>229541
>trainee thats not even competing
3-0 against Kirishima

>Yokozuna
3-2 against Kirishima

lol
lmao even

>>229559
What are you talking about?

>>229539
Answer the question instead of cope tangenting. How come useful output and fuel consumption aren't tied?

>>229561
Before I answer, I demand that you prove that you don't have a bias against the CICO theory of weight loss. Post your belly - if you don't then we will all know that you're just unable to stop stuffing your face.

>>229563
You can't answer it without admitting that the output of a human body isn't necessarily tied to its input, thus are resorting to attempts at insults. I accept your concession. CICO is dogma and nothing more.

Did you know it's possible for urine to contain bodyfat if free fatty acids in the blood get high enough for your kidneys to notice?
>uhhhh whatever dude MUH CICO MUH CICO
You have no idea what the human body does with the food you eat. If it was all calories, why don't we just drink petrol and save a ton of money?

>>229564
>isn't necessarily tied to its input
300lbs
>CICO is dogma and nothing more
400lbs
>why don't we just drink petrol
500lbs

fresh Chris has arrived
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CidGwjM_9fA

>>229566
We already posted your video, Chris

>>229565
You don't have the first clue about anything.

>>229568
I know you've just been comfort eating lmao

>>229564
>You have no idea what the human body does with the food you eat.
If you weighed 150 pounds, do you think you could eat 1800 calories every day without exercising and lose weight? If you weighed 230 pounds, do you think you could eat 1400 calories every day and still gain weight?

>>229567
"we"

>>229570
But I just ate breakfast

>>229570
>If you weighed 230 pounds, do you think you could eat 1400 calories every day and still gain weight?
If your thyroid is fucked up enough, yes

>>229573
Okay, and you think someone with an extreme thyroid issue existing is enough to completely throw out something that would work perfectly fine for 99% of people on the planet?

>>229573
Where is the weight coming from? I know thyroids can get extremely fucked up, but they don't create matter out of nothing, do they?

>>229574
>Okay, and you think
No

>>229575
>Where is the weight coming from?
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/15612-mitochondrial-diseases

Mitochondria is what "burns" the food you eat to produce ATP which lets cells do their job. What do you think would happen if a good chunk of your mitochondria stopped working properly due to either genetic factors or you eating processed slop that poisons them? You wouldn't be able to burn the energy you're eating and you'd just end up shitting out the calories.
>UHHH BUT THAT DOESN'T VIOLATE CICO!!!
You had no idea this was a thing but are acting as if you knew the whole time.

Likewise it's possible for your mitochondria to become wasteful and use more energy than they need to. This is fairly widely known and easily to find on google, and is linked to your body using fat as an energy source rather than glucose. Your body's daily caloric expenditure actually rises while fasting, at least for a while.
>UHHH BUT THAT DOESN'T VIOLATE CICO!!!
You had no idea this was a thing but are acting as if you knew the whole time.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S002604952100024X
Explain this article, you literally cannot.
>SHC517 reversed obesity without altering food intake or compromising lean mass

Mum! Mum! Neville is off his meds again!

>>229579
Not an answer. Your thyroid gland doesn't magically create mass. You cannot explain how someone would gain mass without first consuming mass, because such a thing is impossible. Your pop science nonsense and poorly understood abstract means nothing, because you're dodging the basic, fundamental question you're being asked. How can someone gain weight if they don't acquire it from outside sources? You are a desperately coping fat retard, constantly looking for edge cases and loopholes to justify your lifelong failure to successfully go on a diet. Whenever you encounter setbacks or adversity, you lie to yourself and say "Well, CICO isn't real anyway" and go back to gorging yourself. You lack the willpower and discipline to eat properly and you don't have a rare and extreme thyroid condition.

>>229577
Then what point are you trying to make?

>>229586
... is he even on the seat?

>>229586
Amazing that he's still alive. Same with Jesse.

>>229587
It's up his ass.

>>229581
>You cannot explain how someone would gain mass without first consuming mass

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S002604952100024X

Then explain how these mice lost mass while still consuming the same nutrients.

>>229587
Going off the image there's one ball either side of that crossbar.

>CICO doesnt work
lmao. pure fatty and dyel cope.
>b-bu-but im not losing weight eating 1000 cal a day
eat less
>b-but im not gaining weight eating 2500 cal
eat more

its really that simple. all the other bullshit means you needing to adjust the cico numbers for your desired results.

>>229591
The mice lost mass because they were using more energy than they were taking in. This isn't a gotcha and it isn't an answer to the question. How can an organism gain mass without consuming mass from external sources? What mechanism in the body produces energy and matter from nothing to make up the shortfall?

>>229595
>The mice lost mass because they were using more energy than they were taking in
You're completely brain dead.

>>229596
OK, Professor Porkchop, everyone's a retard except you. You'd better go and eat something, all this arguing must have depleted your mitochondria.

>>229575
>>229595
Your argument is stupid because you're already admitting that the organism is consuming calories. >>229570
in this post, you yourself say the person in question is consuming 1800 and 1400 calories. So switching to "what if 0 calories?" is retarded on your part.
Hypothyroidism causes excessive weight gain at equal calories because it limits the amount of calories your body uses to fuel the body, meaning more excess calories are stored as fat. Conversely, hyperthyroidism causes excessive weight loss at equal calories by burning too many calories, meaning the body taps into the fat reserves resulting in reduced weight. Modern drugs can intentionally affect the body metabolism either way depending on what the patient needs.

tl;dr it's not about how much, it's about what the body does with it. The body's metabolism is not constant.

>>229598
Not all of those posts are mine, but I'll let you off for that. Unfortunately, your argument makes no sense. CICO doesn't mean "you eat 500 calories and therefore gain 500 calories worth of mass". Nobody is arguing that your metabolism is a constant that cannot be changed. If your thyroid causes you to burn more calories than you ought to, this means that your maintenance intake is higher than it ought to be. You will still need to exceed your maintenance rate in order to gain mass. Mass can only be gained if you take in the energy required to produce it. It doesn't matter how strangely your thyroid is functioning, because that will only ever change the precise amount of calories you need to consume in order to gain or lose mass - not the basic fact that mass has to come from somewhere.

>>229598
>excess calories are stored as fat.
>the body taps into the fat reserves resulting in reduced weight.
So.... calories in and calories out? lol

>>229601
I mean, if you want to be reductive to the point of uselessness then sure.

>>229602
>uselessness
It isn't useless, though, is it? If you want to lose weight, eat less food. If it isn't working, you're still eating too much. Do the opposite to gain weight. This works for me, it works for Anon, it works for everyone in the world (I'll grant you the existence of a handful of freakish mutants, but they don't matter). Hardly useless.

>>229603
"A calorie is a calorie" assumes:
a) that the body processes all calories equally (wrong)
b) that the listed caloric value is accurate (wrong, Atwater system was debunked ages ago and is only continued for simplicity/laziness)
c) that the body's metabolism can't be intentionally and reliably altered (wrong)
For average joes, yeah sure, just eat less. But high performance athletes including sumo wrestlers are not average joes, so they need more than elementary school math to dictate their diet, including when they retire and need to lose all that weight in a healthy manner.

>>229604
So finally you admit it's true, but it's just harder to calculate. Good job wasting everyone's time.

>>229604
>"A calorie is a calorie"
Nobody has said that apart from you. Nobody is making any of those assumptions aside from the strawman you've invented to argue against. And nobody is using a sumo wrestler as a benchmark for normal standards of weight gain and weight loss, or assuming that anything they do is healthy - no part of a rikishi's career is healthy, and they still die young after losing the weight. You are tilting at windmills, you're off in your own world and putting words in people's mouths.

>>229607
The entire argument started with regard to Takakeisho's weight loss.
Just stop posting, you're anonymous so you don't need to worry about saving face.

>>229608
Takakeisho, unlike you, understands that if you don't overeat you will lose weight rapidly. It's well known that Takakeisho was encouraged to gorge himself excessively from a young age by his father, and that his fighting weight was incredibly difficult to maintain as it required him to regularly eat far, far more than he needed to. Takakeisho carried more weight, proportional to his frame, than pretty much anyone else in the top division. When he stopped competing, he stopped overeating, and the weight melted off him. It's not impossible or unlikely that he used weight-loss drugs to help him, but by far the most important and most relevant aspect of weight loss is to eat less. Everyone knows this and you just look like a retard trying to pretend otherwise.

everyone here is really invested in this dietary science discussion

>>229610
me?
im moggin everyone in this video

>>229611
https://youtu.be/_Qi9c4pPqDA?si=qVRc3DJyrBADFf6K

>>229610
I don't even know what the arguemt is. "If you eat less calories than you burn, you'll lose weight" doesn't really seem to stand in opposition to "Actually some people have hyperthyroidism!!"

I feel like almost every argument on 4chan is just two people talking past each other about nearly unrelated things for so long they forget what they were originally talking about.

>>229610
This is what happens when your sport has a six week break every two months. We'd be talking about sumo if there was any sumo happening. Low-effort jungyo practices and Chris headcanons don't leave much room for discussion. Don't worry though, soon we'll go to /sp/ for the basho and unite in our mockery of our beloved wrestlers.

>>229613
partly correct. you have one side describing why some thing is, why the other side comes up with what if after what if to try and win after being btfo already

>>229613
>I feel like almost every argument on 4chan is just two people talking past each other about nearly unrelated things
Plus a third retard who threw in the tangent about thyroids for absolutely no reason but to see how the discussion derails

>>229616
in danger of having takerufuji eat his head, should've left a little more on top

Sumo draws the most retarded people to it, aka fatties/homos/weebs

>>229613
There is no argument being made because "muh CICO" isn't an argument; it's just regurgitating dogma. The human body is not a bomb calorimeter.

>>229628
>dogma
Chili cheese dogma in your case, fatty.

>>229537
Yes, that's how you end up eating less so CICO. Stop coping, fatty.

More new Chris:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UyG0aODR1c

>Futagoyama
https://www.youtube.com/@futagoyama-sumofood
>Isegahama
https://www.youtube.com/@isegahamabeya
>Kise
https://www.youtube.com/@kisebeya
>Tatsunami
https://www.youtube.com/@tatsunami-beya
>Tamanoi
https://www.youtube.com/@sumo-tamanoibeya
>Hidenoyama
https://www.youtube.com/@hidenoyama
>Oshima
https://www.youtube.com/@oshimabeya
>Minato
https://www.youtube.com/@湊部屋どすこいチャンネル
>Shikoroyama
https://www.youtube.com/@shikoroyamabeya
>Akasayama
https://www.youtube.com/@浅香山部屋公式チャンネル

Here's the list of beya slop
don't forget to add it to the OP next thread

>>229633
>4-4 against KiriSHITma
uhhhh zunabros???

>>229636
I want a stable that cooks like Futagoyama but eats like Tatsunami.

>>229638
Kokuryunami is an excellent chef though
Futagoyama doesnt have anyone like him who consistently does the cooking so none of them are as skilled

Although I still think Higonoryu is top beya chef

>>229638
>cooks like Futagoyama
Not a high bar, is it?

>>229640
Fuck you just say gaijin boi?

>>229641
Be quiet Koga, you put too much water on the rice the other day. Four years experience...

Older Tatsunami video but this might be the sloppiest slop I've ever seen.

>Fried onions and sliced sausage that just looked like cheap hotdogs
>Dump a ton of eggs in
>Serve

>>229644
You would eat it and love it

>>229645
Maybe if Koga had cooked it :/

>>229646
thatos good to know because koga is destined to a career in the food service industry

>>229648
The AV industry. Wait and see.

I can't believe after all this time that Koga was hung like a rogue elephant.

>cant figure out proper fitting flipflop

While not as obvious a correlation to slill like my bike theory, this does not bode well for Aonishiki prospects as a top rikishi. This is something someone who will only make komusubi a handful of times and kk each time would do
the only saving possibility is they aren't his because he forgot them or the ghost of hokuseiho glued them to the dohyo

>>229655
Have we seen Aonishiki's bike?

Yokozuna fitment

Kotozakura has good fitment.
>>229656

Kirishima. Makes sense from a former ozeki

>>229659
Same as with former ozeki and 3x cup winner mitakeumi

>>229657
>>229658
>>229659
>>229660
Now unfortunately for onosato fans, his fitment isn't the best. its going to be hard fought getting the next level

i've seen people posting sumo fantasy things, where and when do those happen?

On the other side you have shitters like Gonoyama barefoot

>>229655
>my bike theory
Can you just stop? Do you really need attention this badly? The bike thing was at least a little funny, but you're just trying so hard to force this.

>>229655
>The virgin step
>>229658
>The protagonist stride

>>229662
Check sumoforum in the "sumo games" section.

>>229662
https://www.stablemasters.ca/

This gets a few hundred players.

>>229664
Bikeanon has never been proven wrong.