Thread 232947

Departure of a Legend Edition

>Banzuke:
http://sumodb.sumogames.de/Banzuke.aspx
https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoBanzuke/index/

>Fight Schedule & Results:
https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoMain/torikumi/1/1/

>Some sumo links and how to watch live:
https://rentry.org/uwbgc88d

>Beya Youtube channels:
>Futagoyama
https://www.youtube.com/@futagoyama-sumofood
>Isegahama
https://www.youtube.com/@isegahamabeya
>Kise
https://www.youtube.com/@kisebeya
>Tatsunami
https://www.youtube.com/@tatsunami-beya
>Tamanoi
https://www.youtube.com/@sumo-tamanoibeya
>Hidenoyama
https://www.youtube.com/@hidenoyama
>Oshima
https://www.youtube.com/@oshimabeya
>Minato
https://www.youtube.com/@湊部屋どすこいチャンネル
>Shikoroyama
https://www.youtube.com/@shikoroyamabeya
>Asakayama
https://www.youtube.com/@浅香山部屋公式チャンネル
>Takasago
https://www.youtube.com/@TAKASAGOSUMOTEAM高砂部屋

Previous thread
>>231659

VOTE FOR THE NEXT OZEKI PROMOTION

https://strawpoll.com/XOgOV90B4n3
https://strawpoll.com/XOgOV90B4n3
https://strawpoll.com/XOgOV90B4n3

>>232947 (OP)
First for 76th Yokozuna Aonishiki

>>232950
Optimistic pick
>Takkers
Realistic pick
>WTK

>>232952
I voted for WTK purely because he got 12 wins while KiriSHITma got 11. I dunno what heartless bastard voted for Zak :(

>>232953
Zak is in a hole. A deep hole. He's not climbing out of it. He has to dig out. Not one but two of his rivals have finished rope runs when just a few months ago Zak was supposed to be #74. That 8-7 looked like a struggle.

>>232954
My favourite moment was when Zak personally handed Onosato his 4th yusho AND his rope.

>>232955
Zak needs a sea change. I wonder what his mindset is right now. It was cool of him to let Kotoeko win his retirement match. I dont know if thats an expected thing, Zak put on a good show anyway.

>>232954
>>232956
He's permainjured without yokozuna kyujo priviledges. He's gonna stumble in and out of kadoban until he becomes one of many former ozeki in mid to upper maegashira.

>>232953
7-8, 7-8, 10-5 sounds like a reasonable prediction for the rest of Zak's 2025.

>>232960
It would however mean that both WTK and Kirishima most likely do not make Ozeki.

>>232959
>Mitakeumi-sama... tasukete...

>>232961
Does anyone believe in Kirishima now?

>>232961
I'm perfectly prepared to believe in both of them jobbing for a few bashos. I've been here before...

>>232963
I'd give him a 50:50 shot of being anything close to the Kiribayama of old.

>>232963
>>232965
I think he still has a chance of getting back to solid ozeki performance.
I'm glad he was performing closer to his style of sumo this basho.
Gonna tell new friends he retired Onosho with a Do Mawashi Kaiten Geri.

Do you think guys who skipped lower ranks and came from college got less bullying or more bullying?

>>232967
Probably less due to generally being strong. They could pay it back in practice.

>>232968
Nobody would bully a guy like Onosato at Nishonosek-
>*looks at sake bottle*
O_O

>>232963
he has had 8 or fewer wins in 5 of his last 8 'shos. ppl thought he was back after january, ppl thought he was back after aki last year, they were wrong both times.

>>232971
Every Yokozuna must utterly buckbreak at least one Ozeki to be truly worthy of the name. Terunofuji may as well have executed Kirishima back then.

>>232972
>Buckbreak Kirishima
>A few months later give Onosato the nod as to who you believe your successor is
>Then Hoshoryu ropes
>Then Onosato ropes in absolute glory
>The only Ozeki left is a broken husk just waiting to lose the rank
Imagine being Kirishima right now.

>>232974
>A few months later give Onosato the nod as to who you believe your successor is
I'm never forgetting how just as Hosh and Koto were both doing rope runs, Teru the yokozuna said he thinks Onosato is the next one.

>>232972
>Terunofuji may as well have executed Kirishima back then.
Terunofuji buckbreaked him, Hosh, AND Kotozakura. Koto only managed to eke out a win at the very end of Teru's career when he had 1 foot in the grave

Why the fuck did you move to a new thread?

>>232980
Quiet you

>>232982
With 28 image posts left, on page 3? Have you no self-restraint at all, son?

I mean what if we run out of threads
Can you guys even imagine the consequences of depleting 4chans limited supplies

>>232985

new thread
>>232989
>>232989
>>232989
>>232989
>>232989

>>232990
u mad

>>232951
He will be the 114th yokozuna

There are SEVEN /sumo/ threads on this board jesus christ

>>233011
Why are you surprised that sumo takes up a lot of space?

>>233011
Because no one else is making threads about anything /xs/ related.

>>233011
KNEEL. NOW.

>>233011
They should just rename the board already

>>233020
If origami gets a board, sumo should get a board.

>>233011
At least its not another dan edition

>>233028
Rename /po/ to something relating to niche Japanese culture.
>Origami
>Fatslap
>Sushi making
>Faggots making expensive tea
Could be kawaii :3c

>>233032
We already have /jp/ for that, it's just been completely colonised by 2hu.

>>233033
I could argue that origami belongs on /jp/. /jp/ is simply too fast moving and mentally ill. A couple newfriends in here per basho is fine, but nobody wants tourist vomit.

>>232990
BE GONE, EVIL SPIRIT!

>>233034
Origami having its own board is an ancient tradition, and it makes sense - back in the early days of 4chan it was a lot more weeb-focused and giving various aspects of Japanese culture specific boards was viable, because the whole site was smaller and slower. I think a better solution would be to leave /jp/ for miscellaneous Nipponic subjects, and give 2hu, parasocial idol/seiyuu fandoms, and of course /sumo/ their own boards.

>>233036
Bro if we had a board it would need a 2 thread limit and get trolled to shit as a result. Otherwise it would just be pages and pages of these threads waiting to die. But it's not like slow moving porn boards where at least old threads can contain quality goon material. Nobody cares what shitposts people were making mid-January.

>>233037
I whole-heartedly believe that /sumo/ could sustain a whole board if allowed to go unchecked.

>>233038
We should just move to /sp/. The place isn't THAT fast moving. Plenty of threads on there are days old.

>>233038
i dont think it should
do you really want 20 threads per basho of "[insert sekitori you don't like] IS FUCKING WASHED" instead of just a 20 posts?

>>233045
I'd certainly rather have something like a /DAN/ thread than deal with his fans in the only thread. Same goes for things like beyaslop generals or Kogaposting or "Does anyone else think Horseshitryu should retire and/or kill himself". We'd be able to more easily discuss the aspects of sumo we each enjoy without having to bother with the rest.

>>233046
then you're just going to get a /tg/ situation
>hey i'd like to discuss Waka--
>GO TO THE FUCKING /WTK/ GENERAL FAGGOT
>cant i discuss him considering he's
>ARE YOU THE WAKAGOBLIN POSTER?
>the what
>DONT DENY IT I KNOW YOU'RE THE WAKAGOBLIN YOU CHILD RAPIST
>who is
>MODS MOOOOODS GET THIS GUY OFF THE BOARD NOW

>>233039
It used to be that off-basho threads were slow and couldn't even go through a single thread before the next basho, but at our current rate we could definitely sustain an /sp/ general.

>>233047
I wish I could say that would represent a decline in posting standards.

>>233049
An incline in fact

>>233032
We got tea threads on /ck/. The majority of good shit is chinese tea, puer, hechi, loose leaf, etc. Japanese really only has the market on Matcha.

>>233054
I'm not trusting agricultural products from China.

guess the rikishi

>>233060
My instinct was Abi, but it's not.

>>233060
The disproportionate number of hatakikomi wins gave it away for me.
>>233066
Abi has definitely been in the top division long enough to have more than 100 hatakikomi/oshidashi wins.

>>233060
>>233067
>disproportionate number of hatakikomi wins
I had Tomokaze, who isn't too different

>>233068
My other guesses were Kayo, who I ruled out as the chart didn't have enough okuridashi wins, and Tochitaikai, who I ruled out because the chart didn't have enough tsukiotoshi wins. I forgot that Tomokaze existed when I made that guess.

>>232990
Kill yourself.

>>233060
I wanted to say Chiyoshoma

>>233074
A Mongol with Yorikiri numbers that low? Nah.

>>233075
Tamawashi?

>>233079
Literal kami don't count.

>>233060
100% tohakuryu and his ugly-ass face, worst rikishi of this age

https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/202506060001822.html
Akio Toyoda, the chairman of Toyota Motor and apparently an important supporter of Hakuhou, has been announced as a candidate for president of International Sumo Federation. Nikkan seems to believe that he will try to expand sumo's global presence even more if elected.

The pieces are moving into place.

>>233087
Unless he gives out a car to everyone who buys a ticket, he's not going to have much success.

>>233088
What?

>>233060
First instinct was Ichi but I guess he slaps down less than I thought.

>>233090
You heard him: Anonymous, in his infinite wisdom, has pronounced that it is impossible to broaden the appeal of sumo. He has made this pronouncement in a thread dedicated to following sumo, where people regularly join thousands of other Westerns to watch and follow sumo. It's just not possible.

>>233097
I hope that they try to make people watch Ozumo and not some amateur freak show

>>233097
Any sumo fan who thinks sumo has a broad worldwide appeal needs his head checked. If most people think about sumo at all, they think of it as a joke, not a serious competitive sport. Akio Toyoda could liquidate the entire Toyota business and pump all the money into trying to boost sumo's reputation, and it would still be an incredibly niche sport.

>>233098
>amateur freak show
I swear there is no better way to describe western sumo, especially am*rican. I hope Hakuhoe brings some hinkaku into the scene

>>233100
Nigga Hakuho isn't gonna hinkaku the entire western world lmao

>>233100
Hakuho and hinkaku don't belong in the same sentence.

>>233099
It doesnt need to have worldwide appeal. Even a small percentage of the world is enough, the trick is getting that particular slice to know it exists since you cant just pick us out of a crowd.

>>233116
>small percentage of the world
Actually, that's no good. You can't hold an event in Berlin and expect sumo fans to come from Buenos Aires to attend it. If you're serious about promoting sumo on a global scale, the biggest problem is holding sufficiently prominent events - you need to pay for the talent, the venues, advertising, refreshment, and all the other costs of holding a sports event, and you need to sell enough tickets to recoup your costs and hopefully make enough profit to keep the snowball rolling. If your category of "sumo fans" is a small percentage of the world's population, wherever you hold the event will by necessity prevent a fairly large percentage of that category from attending. You'd need "sumo fans" to be a small but viable percentage of the population in whatever country (or region of a country) you wanted to hold the event in. Of course, to reach that point, to let enough people in the target area know that sumo exists, you must first hold a suitably big and well-promoted event.

>However, some committee members proposed giving the award unconditionally to Sadanoumi because "at 38 years old, he has no pretensions whatsoever and always accepts challenges head-on."
Old man privilege is real.

>>233120
Next basho they'll give a fighting spirit prize to Hakkaku.

>>233117
Westerners won't attend an event where the fights are 5 seconds long.
>Here's the hypest fight of the night, Yokozuna Hoshoryu v Yokozuna Onosato!
And then 5 seconds later it's over. That shit won't wash when the tickets were extortionate.

>>233122
Sounds perfect for the tiktok audience

>>233124
With a slowed down phonk remix for the replay.

>>233125
>The drop kicks in the moment Onosato hits the floor

>>233126
>the screen flashes as he's falling so everyone has time to look up from Subway Surfers

I want beyaslop. I WANT BEYASLOP.

Reminder that Zak should pull a Goeido and 0-0-15 the next basho so his knee can actually recover and he can 15-0 September.

>>233132
He should but he won't. He's going to try and gambarize and heal on the dohyo, because Zak is utterly enmeshed in sumo tradition thanks to his family.

>>233136
Never Broke Again

>>233136
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81wbjAYJ8qM

>>233145
>>233146
People who put fruit on cake should be put against a wall and shot.

>>233147
>t. amerilard
maybe some butter would be more fitting for your kind

>>233149
It's cake you fucking faggot, putting a kiwi on it doesn't magically make it healthy.

>>233151
Nobody said it does, Japs just like the taste of fruit and sweets together.

>>233152
At least we don't have to build a very tall wall.

>>233145
That cake looks delicious
and what a cute smile
kawaiizuna

The outfits are unironucally the main thing holding sumo back

Big fat gelatinous bodies in thongs with a wizard running around shouting incantations doesn't have wide appeal

>>233156
>doesn't have wide appeal
Good.

>>233156
The mawashi is absolutely critical
Tell it to swimmers or cyclists

Personally I have no trouble watching the hands, feet, and faces during a bout but if you cant stop yourself from staring at those big rikishi butts then just own it because thats on you

>>233156
The bodies are simply a result of strategy. Can you throw 20 kilos? 100 kilos? 200 kilos?

Picrel

>>233155
i bet he could do that with his cats as well

>>233156
Not my problem. I don't understand why so many people are insecure about seeing, like, 80% of the male body naked. There's not even any Dewanoumi or Akiseyama in the top divisions anymore.

>>233156
There's nothing a fat man can wear that hides the fact he's fat. Wearing a mawashi and baring it all is actually the best strategy, because it lets you see at least some of the massive muscles underneath. If you look at rikishi in casual clothes or formal wear they look even fatter and less athletic. I think we just have to accept that sumo wrestlers aren't aesthetically pleasing.

>>233163
>There's not even any Dewanoumi or Akiseyama in the top divisions anymore.
What did you mean by this?

>>233165
say what

>>233166
Dewanojo*

>>233167
My fuarking hero...

>>233168
That's what I thought, but it can't be, because he's never sniffed sekitori.

>>233156
this is a fact, normalcattle are too stupid and conditioned to the point they see someone not wearing jeans and t-shirts and immediately think he's weird. All the times I've tried to introduce my friends and their families to sumo they laugh at the big fat men in a diaper. They don't ever care about the rituals and shorts fights, they get mentally blocked the moment they see a large man in nothing but a thong. But hey UFC fighers in boxers showing their bulge to everyone? sure thing!

>>233169
I was merely citing examples of wrestlers who are unpleasant to look at for the uninitiated. The true sumo connoisseur, however, has long since developed a refined and altogether morally commendable aesthetic sensibility, which he applies to the Akiseyama and Asakoryu of the dohyo with an equal but nonetheless discerning eye.

>>233170
I introduced my uncle (who's the portrait of a conservative New England boomer) to sumo and he actually appreciated it after initially making fun of it. It's not impossible. But yeah, the double standard between sumo and MMA is laughable. It doesn't help that most MMA fighters are complete clowns covered in tattoos. The JSA has a point about sumo's dignity.

>>233171
Could have said Hokutofuji then. Disgusting lump, he was.

>>233155
Me on the left.

>>233172
burn in hell

>>233170
Take a step back and really think about what you're saying. Are you genuinely going to try and argue that a 400 pound Japanese juggernaut wearing nothing but a never-washed belt is a commonplace and unremarkable sight? Even in Japan, a rikishi stands out. He stands out a lot. Thinking sumo is weird isn't a black mark on someone's character. It is weird. We like it because of the weirdness, and how different it is to popular Western sports like MMA or football.

Reminder this was Japan's hope

>>233176
Yeah Hosh really flubbed his debut even though everyone was counting on him

>>233177
He thinks he's clever

>>233177
That's not his fault. Everyone who was expecting him to suddenly start fighting like a Yokozuna was putting unfair expectations on him. He's still the same Hoshoryu, he's good for consistency and technique, not for domination. Maybe in two or three years of rivalry with Onosato he'll level up.

>>233177
>>233179
since when is mongolian japan's hope

If Hosh goes 12+ wins in July we can safely say he's doing fine as a Yokozuna. I randomly checked Kakuryu and it took him 4 basho to get 12 wins as Yokozuna.

>>233180
Well, did he earn his promotion the old fashioned way? Or was it given to him in expectation (or hope) that he would be able to fill the role?

There you have it.

Honestly I think you people that are constantly bringing this shit up are the racist ones

>>233185
there are two men in the pic; the big hope was supposed to be kotonowaka (he doesnt deserve to be kotozakura).

>>233186
No shit. I was explaining my context for the joke to you since it is evidently far beyond your powers of comprehension.

all of that shikona shit about how he was elevating his dad's name and then his grandfather's name (to yokozuna), z-ACK was playing with fire. you would think with these superstitious wrestlers he would have the sense not to tempt fate like that

>>233193
>I will return as a yokozuna!
You could almost hear his ancestors spinning in their graves.

Zak should've come up with his own shikona instead of copying his family.

>>233193
That 14-1yusho last november was really strong though. Who can blame him for getting a little ahead of himself?

>>233179
>he's good for consistency and technique
>consistency
I'm the biggest Nephewfag in the thread and even I think that's bullshit

>>233206
He consistently blows it

>>233206
His last make-koshi (aside from the dreadful yokozuna debut) was November 2021. He can reliably be expected to score in the double digits multiple times a year, and he has good head-to-head records against the san'yaku men. He's the definition of consistent.

>>233208
>He's the definition of consistent.
Eh sort of. Onosato is consistently amazing, Aonishiki THUS FAR has been insanely consistent, and then you've got a guy like Daieisho who while not necessarily the highest scoring rikishi will ALWAYS get a kachikoshi and thus be consistent in his own way. Nephew was a dumbass for competing in March.

>jsa seething?
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DKqBYIPz8dr

>>233227
lmao HACKuho getting his ass beat by actual children

>Futagoyama Oyakata have a heart attack this Friday
KOGABROS...

>>233233
I mean shit bro that sucks but he was kind of gunning for it with his weight and diet

>>233233
I'm surprised he doesn't have a heart attack every Friday.

>>233233
Gonna jork it to futa tonight in dick unity.

>>233233
Apparently it's nothing of the sort. There are rumours that the cameraman has been making comments about copycat channels, causing Futagoyama fans to pile on in a very undignified way.

>>233240
Sakae-san nooooo

>>233240
I mean he's not wrong. Imagine unironically also putting sumo food in your channel name

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoN3_ACvE4A
HAKUHO (FORMERLY MIYAGINO) RETIREMENT PRESS CONFERENCE IN TWO (2) HOURS. BE THERE OR I WILL POUR GLUE INTO YOUR COMPUTER.

>>233233
>making things up

>>233261
Dont break kayfabe bro damn

>>233260
Stream is live, the press conference should be happening soon.

>>233267
The antis shitposting in the live chat are more interesting than this conference unless Hakuho drops a bombshell, but given that he has responded very safely, I don't think it's going to happen. It's just information we are vaguely aware of already.

He's just said that they wouldn't allow him to go to Oshimabeya specifically because Kyokutenho is Mongolian, as how they ended up at Isegahamabeya.

>SUCKuho
won't be missed, sumo will be better off with his drama whoring out of the picture. jsa staff is supposed to be behind the scenes making things run smoothly, not constantly trying to make themselves part of the show.

>>233260
Looking forward to the Chris summary of this event.

>>233271
kill yourself

>>233270
>jsa staff is supposed to be behind the scenes making things run smoothly, not constantly trying to make themselves part of the show

>>233273
The oyakata channel doesn't ever include any of the big dogs, it's just a bunch of low/mid-rankers fucking around and sometimes shilling merchandise (which they got in trouble for by the JSA when they made the Youtube rules a while back).

It's Hakuhover.

>>233274
>jsa staff is supposed to be behind the scenes making things run smoothly, not constantly trying to make themselves part of the show
I fail to see the words "big dogs"

When he was talking about Sumo Grand Slam, while it still isn't clear exactly what they're planning to do, he mentioned that he hopes to give a chance to do sumo to all of the foreigners who want to get into the NSK but can't due to the one foreigner per heya restriction.

>>233260
I expect him to be alone for the conference, even in his retirement they have him by the leash kek.

>>233272
I hope chris adds that to his video

>>233279
Hakuho showed up with Isegahama so that Isegahama could give his farewells, then later had his sponsors show up to help take questions about his plans post-resignation.

>regarding Sumo Grand Slam
https://hochi.news/articles/20250609-OHT1T51088.html?page=1
>regarding Terunofuji
https://hochi.news/articles/20250609-OHT1T51091.html?page=1

>>233282
There's far more on Nikkan.
https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/

And the NHK report on the press conference
https://www3.nhk.or.jp/news/html/20250609/k10014829491000.html

>>233284
I just saw the Hochi ones first, so I posted those. Thanks anyways.

So now that I predicted that Onosato would become Yokozuna in less than 2 years and that has happened, what am I going to spam the Basho threads with...

2 years from now the sun will rise and then it will set

Marvel at my prophetic powers

>>233291
Except no one believed (aside from that guy who took the screenshot) when I said it right on his Makuuchi debut, straight out of juryo. Plus everyone also began to doubt him saying he was figured out when he couldn't win against the nodowa.
Only I stuck through with my beliefs because I knew Onosato was Yokozuna material since the very start.

>>233293
>I picked the most accomplished hyped mega prospect in history with a MS10 start to make yokozuna
Stop patting yourself on the back for a prediction that wasn't even that farfetched to begin with.

>when I said it right on his Makuuchi debut, straight out of juryo
If you were calling that when he was dropping bouts in makushita, you might've had some legs to stand on. But "straight out of juryo" he already had consecutive 12-3 scores as a sekitori.

>>233293
I didnt have to believe because I knew it would happen

Thats why I got those septs >>222222#

>>233295
>a prediction that wasn't even that farfetched to begin with
Then why were there so many doubters? Why did so few people believed until it actually happened? Why did everyone started to say he was figured out?

>>233297
>Then why were there so many doubters?
Because it's 4chan and people like to shitpost. See: the last 4 sumo generals.You can be happy that your boy made yokozuna, but don't pretend you're Nostradamus for joining a hype train that was already steaming ahead.

>>233298
How come I never saw anyone else say or believe he would become Yokozuna so fast in every single /sp/ Basho thread for the last one year and a half then?

>>233299
Ok then predict his next tournament record

>>233301
He's going to go 13-2 and win the Basho.

>>233302
Nope he's going to go 15-0 and redeem the zensho because he knows what the people want

>>233303
It's the July basho in Nagoya, dude. No one can pull a zensho yusho in July.

>>233305
Thats how you know this is a real prediction with some guts

https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/202506090000629.html
Apparently, Hak went on some influencer's tiktok live immediately after the press conference. Asked to be called "Haku-chan". He's appealing to the young people.

>>233306
Delusional.

From this
to THIS >>233308

>>233303
>he knows what the people want
Not this people.

>>233299
>How come I never saw anyone else say or believe he would become Yokozuna so fast in every single /sp/ Basho thread for the last one year and a half then?

>>233314
>>233315
shutup already. if you predicted Ura yusho that would be something else, but Onosato yokozuna was expected sooner or later.

>>233315
You're just making yourself look worse Guilherme. First you said you were the first one to make the prediction, which was wrong.
Then you said it was right on his makuuchi debut, which is also wrong since the cap is from after he made his debut. Then you said he'd make it in a year, which again is wrong since he got promoted in May, not March.

>>233317
>>233316
I'm not Portugal, lol.

KINO
I
N
O

>>233329
>causes hakuho to seethe and rage enough to quit the job he spent millions to acquire
How does he do it?

>>233293
Fucking what? People have been saying for a good while now that Onosato's rise to Yokozuna has been nothing but inevitable. I'd say the moment he won the May basho last year it was unstoppable.

>>233310
Could be worse, it could be Asashoryu basedjacking.

>>233329
When is his danpatsu shiki?

>>233336
January 31st

>>233340
literally hoo?

>>233341
The fuck you say to me you little bitch?

>>233329
so this...is the power of...hinkaku...

Ginjirou embezzled about $175,000 and they're not pressing charges. You know, I seem to recall Kotomitsuki not facing charges either, for some reason.

>>233345
Ginjiro knows too much shit

>>233305
>No one can pull a zensho yusho in July.
Hakuho did it 3 times.

>>233345
Corruption? In MY sumo organisation?

>>233348
If Onosato does it, we can quantify his sumo skills at 333 millihakuhos.

>>233350
But that's more than Master Yoda!

>>233315
>>233314
Dam, he got owned.

>>233357
It was ok to be proud of his prediction and support for Onosato

But he got too haughty there and we had to check him

>kicked out of 109 beyas
>reeeee its because of racism and sheeeiiitt!!!
>japan is bigots!!!!
>they anti-mong!!!
not kicked out of sumo:
kirishitma
horseshitryu (he even got the benefit of the doubt in a highly questionable yokozuna promotion)
terunofuji (no knees? no problem! stay in sumo as long as you want bro ^_^!! t. japan)
kakuryu
oshima/kyokutenho
ichinojo (one of drunkest and most belligerent sekitori of all time, irl harimanada minus the skill and hinkaku)
tamawashi
ryuo (despite being caught illicitly spying on opponents for hakuho)

when if ever is hakuho ever going to admit that he was the problem instead of trying to blame the japanese?

>>233367
You think Ichinojo wasn't kicked out of sumo? What the fuck is your news source?

>>233367
>t. takatoriki

>>233317
>Then you said he'd make it in a year, which again is wrong since he got promoted in May, not March.
Close enough.

>>233367
>t. erunofuji

>>233371
>t. elunohuzhi

>>233350
So 1/3 Hakuho? WTH, that actually makes sense.

>>233367
Hakuho's undoing was his own racism, his own unwillingness to adopt Japanese culture past what advantages he could get for himself by adopting their passport. If he had been a diligent oyakata he would never have been forced into remedial training and lost control of his stable.
And nobody was forcing him to open his own stable, if he had wanted to devote himself to scouting, the Hakuho cup, TV appearance and other activities outside of stable boss duties then he could've done that instead, could've signed on as a coach like Kaisei did and learned the stable honcho ropes while focusing on his outside activities, but instead he chose to become a negligent oyakata and the consequences of that were inevitable and only Hakuho is to blame for them.

>>233379
>instead he chose
As well, not instead. He wanted it all.

>>233371
He needs to talk to Takakeisho’s dietitian.

>>233381
He's definitely lost some weight. Look how loose those trousers are.

>>233382
Yeah. I would not be surprised if he’s already on ozempic since he is a diabetic, after all.
If he could get himself down to 120kg or under, imagine how much better he’d feel.

>>233383
i don't think it's safe for a diabetic to lose weight very fast, like takakeisho did. Also, keisho's head looks funny and bloated now, compared to his body.

>>233382
He always had skinny legs on account of him not being able to work them out too much because of his knees.

>>233386
It looks like his legs have got smaller since the suit was fitted. The alternative is that he was too stingy to pay for a tailor and just got the suit off the shelf, which doesn't strike me as in keeping with his rich-kid upbringing.

>>233385
>"Even though I lost 20 kilos, my knees hurt more now than when I was active. I think it's because I lost muscle mass,"
He said this during the Master Talk Show in the Kokugikan Sumo Museum.

>>233388
if he wants his knees to heal he needs to eat bone broth and cartilage in great volumes. probably eating fancy cuts of meat instead cause thats what wealthy people tend to go for.
that jiro ramen broth they made on the tatsunami youtube a few months ago is good food for wrestlers

We have lost three gyoji already within twelve months?

Hakuho ragequitting sumo because Kisenosato proved to be a better oyakata that him.
And he timed his quitting to upstage Onosato's promotion as a last act of spite against Kisenosato and in the process doomed himself to be an embittered outsider for the rest of his life.
I wonder if he'll ever buy tickets to go watch his former stable's wrestlers compete, will be funny to see him sitting next to Dr. Takasu seething while watching Kisenosato's stable take home another cup.

>>233397
That aint right

>>233397
The smirks you make when you win by doing nothing and just letting a egomaniac implode his career.

>here is some grass for you to touch
>t. the single yusho yoko

>>233406
He will never win another yusho.
Deep down, he knows this to be true.

>>233407
>Deep down
Why do you think he's doing work experience as a rice farmer? He's got it all lined up.

Is that the speedrun for the fastest closing stable? Any other examples?

>>233397
Isn't he retiring soon anyway? Who's gonna get given Miyagino? Guessing there's some random bumfuck with elder stock sat waiting. Does Takakeisho have anything lined up?

>>233411
He can stay on for five years as a consultant. He couldn't stay as Isegahama because consultants aren't allowed to run stables.

>>233407
Don't be so hard on him. If we accept that he was really injured in March, he's actually doing somewhere between decent and good. Just wish we got to see him fight Onosato more than 6 times a year.
>But we can see them fight in training!
Bitch fucking please, Hosh was trouncing 'sato in training before May and look who did better.

>>233412
This is such a stupid system, and further contributes to the logjam. There are too many young retirees leaving the JSA simply because they can't secure a kabu. Advisors shouldn't hold a regular kabu, there should be 5-10 special kabu that only men over 65 can hold.

>>233415
There's always going to be a longjam simply because there's only 105 shares. Even with the current eligibility rules, there's always going to be a lot more than 105 eligible wrestlers over the course of 30-35 years. The consultant system was a compromise because elders aren't officially supposed to be selling their stock directly anymore (although of course under the table deals always happen).

The simply solution is to open more beyas.
>But anon there's already so many!
Don't forget, more beyas means more beyasloppa.

>>233417
I know its an unsolvable problem, there's just no reason to make it even worse. Maybe the best thing to do would be to lower the retirement age while expanding the reduced-pay advisor category.

>>233411
There is apparently a massive clusterfuck in regards to the elder stock system
Or so I read on sumoforum

>>233420
Elder stock has always been a clusterfuck.

>>233421
Let them sell it again - but only as a livestreamed auction.

>>233423
Fuck that, let the people with elder stock throw on a mawashi and SHOW US who deserves the stable.

>>233260
From intai to resigning in less than 4 years. Impressive. Took them 15 years to get rid of Takanohana.

>>233424
Tournament once a year, make-koshi puts you in Hakuho probation, tournament winner gets to poach 1 (one) sekitori of his choice from another stable.

>>233428
Imagine the shitstorm if some bumfuck who never broke M12 in his career took Onosato from Nishonoseki lmao

>>233394
>pic related
I miss that little nigger so much.

>>233424
>>233428
>>233434
These are the changes sumo needs

>>233434
Well it wouldnt make sense for such a wrestler to get stronger after retirement

Kisenosato himself can still throw down against Onosato and sometimes even win. Could Tatsunami?

>>233439
>Could Tatsunami?
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST, MOTHERFUCKER

>>233439
This would incentivise the oyakatas to stay fit and be able to better train their men. It'd also mean that a decrepit old man would retire completely rather than face the ignominy of having his surrogate sons taken away from him by young upstarts who could never have challenged him in his prime.

>>233406
this man is clearly experiencing strong misgivings about being photographed with horseshitryu
>my buddies down at the rice farmers union are never going to let me hear the end of this
>nobody is going to want to buy my rice
>should've worn a traditional hat, I've have been able to cover my face with one of them
>this is going to badly affect my grandchildren's marriage prospects

>>233443
>He didn't even wear his stupid rikishi dressing gown

>>233443
In reality he's probably annoyed because if not for the media circus he could get that rice planted in a heartbeat and already have gone home

>>233340
Do they turn up the lights in the arena these days or is it a trick of the camera?

>>233450
Mostly it was simply the Kuramae Kokugikan had less lighting than the current Ryuogoku Kokugikan. Here's a random bout from Aki 1985 (the current Kokugikan opened January 1985) to compare:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kbi-IszavpU
Of course I'm sure the Kokugikan has since had its original lighting replaced with more energy efficient lights, and changes in camera technology has captured it differently, but the old Kuramae Kokugikan just didn't have as many (any?) audience lights to begin with.

>>232963
He's still my boy, I believe in him and I wanna see him follow Kakuryu's footsteps into being a yokozuna that's overshadowed by a much betteri Yokozuna

>>233455
horseshitryu has already filled kakusoryu's role in that respect. his one yusho every other year win rate will eventually get him to match kakusoryu's total of six if horseshitryu can hang on until the middle of next decade.

>>232963
Kirishima Ozeki soon. I believe.

>>233443
>>233456
you should kill yourself instead of trying to ruin these threads

>>233456
Then Kirishima will fill the role of Terunofuji

>>233452
Hakkaku was a bulldog in his day.

>>233461
And now hes bullshit

>>233462
Hakuho will never fuck you, faggot.

>>233463
But Hakkaku will?

>>233465
Yes, he has true hinkaku.

>>233467
貧格

Kirishima will outperform Hosh this Nagoya Basho.
Screencap this post.

>>233471
he's talking about h*shitryu right?

https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/202506090001252.html
This is what I was talking about here >>233278

>>233472
kill yourself any time now

>>233473
maybe there's hope for all of us

I love trolling Redditors this hakuho stuff has been funny right now I’m ragebaiting them about pulling = being weak.

>>233471
This doesn't make any sense as a metaphor for Hakuho since they didn't bring him in line. It's more like a crooked nail being pulled out more than anything. Not that he has the right to speak on the topic of Yokozuna with an attitude problem.

>>233471
The Bad BVLL of sumo has spoken. The nail (Hacückho) that sticks out (lack of hinkaku) gets hammered in (buck broken and forced to resign). Many such cases.

>>233411
He's holding it for Enho

>>233483
Can Enho even hold it? Making a comeback purely to just barely qualify makes me think he shouldn't be allowed to hold it in the first place. The fuck is he gonna do as an oyakata?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izjJjPp4o-U&ab_channel=TheTatsunamiStable-SumoFoods

Get your sloppa while it's still hot.

>>233484
Remember, being a good rikishi doesn't mean you're a good coach. There's no reason to think that Enho would be a bad oyakata.

>>233486
Anyone could be a good or bad coach, but at least guys who've been high ranked are guaranteed to come with wisdom they can impart.

>>233486
This. Just look at Hakuho. And I'm not just saying that to kick him while he's down like everyone else. Takanohana and Chiyonofuji were also pretty mediocre coaches overall with one 1 standout pupil a piece (Takakeisho and Chiyotaikai) and everyone else in their heya being shitters. All three yokozuna were all-time greats as wrestlers, but never produced anyone as good as them.

>>233488
Enho has been high ranked. He's one basho off the strict requirements, but those have been bent before by much more than one basho. Getting another 4-3 at high makushita isn't magically going to give him a store of wisdom to impart.

>>233488
>but at least guys who've been high ranked are guaranteed to come with wisdom they can impart.
Being high ranked doesn't guarantee that they even have wisdom to impart. A lot of generational athletes can't articulate what they themselves are able to do. It's so intuitive to them that they've never sat and thought about it, or they're such freak athletes that they can make it work without really knowing why.

>>233489
>never produced anyone as good as them
Why would you expect them to? There's about one daiyokozuna made every decade, out of some thousand rikishi in that time.

>Hakuho sucked as an oyakata
He produced ~7 men who've made it to sekitori for at least one basho. Enho, Ishiura, Daikiho, Hakuoho, Kusano, Kawazoe, Tenshoho. Most oyakata would balk at those numbers.
I don't say this to give Hakuho any particular credit, just that these threads have been throwing around hyperbole wildly.

>>233485
SLOP
SLOP
SLOP
SLOP
I FUCKING LOVE SLOP

People who reach Yokozuna should be able to act as some sort of consultant/coach who, rather than being an oyakata themselves, go around visiting stables and giving hands on coaching sessions to the rikishi there. It's better than Yokozuna getting mindbroken when they join the oyakata ranks and go from being king of the world to human garbage overnight.

>>233493
Most open I've ever seen Atamifuji's eyes honestly.

>>233492
Hakuho's suckage as an oyakata was made all the worse by the fact he was clearly a competent teacher. Imagine how many sekitori he could have raised if he'd actually focused on being a coach.

What the fuck did I stumble on?

>>233496
Was he a good teacher, or did he just attract the best talents? Guys like Ochiai, Onosato, Takerufuji, and Aonishiki would likely have been top tier material regardless of where they landed. Hell Aonishiki is in the middle of bumfuck nowhere doing it all by himself.

>>233499
>大大ノ国

>>233492
>Why would you expect them to? There's about one daiyokozuna made every decade
They couldn't even raise somebody to yokozuna.

>He produced ~7 men who've made it to sekitori for at least one basho.
4 of those guys had tsukedashi status. It's easy to produce sekitori when you've got mega prospects who enter sumo a stone's throw away from juryo. Enho and Ishiura were manlets, but they also had solid amateur careers before joining. Same for Tenshoho and Hokuseiho without the manletism.

The measure of a great coach is being able to make shitty guys good, not guys who are already good even better.

>>233499
The well of /sumo/ lore are deep and ancient, anon, take care not drown when you drink

>>233499
lmao what the fuck is this

>>233493
Did the JSA issue a “recommendation” to the stables to police their social media a little better? i.e. show the wrestlers more as athletes instead of just comical eating machines?

>>233499
Wow, Onokuni's looking slim there.

>>233502
>The measure of a great coach is being able to make shitty guys good, not guys who are already good even better.

Taking a bunch of 90lb, 16-year old boys and getting them all up to mid- to high-makushita would make you a great coach but a poor stablemaster.
Recruiting and networking is a huge part of being a stablemaster. Hakuho was great at that. That’s why he got Ishiura. Ishiura could do the day-to-day coaching.

>>233485
>"The Tatsunami Stable - Sumo Foods"
the gall

>>233502
>They couldn't even raise somebody to yokozuna.
Again, it would be absurd to expect that when a yokozuna is an exception among exceptions.

>Enho and Ishiura were manlets, but they also had solid amateur careers before joining. Same for Tenshoho and Hokuseiho without the manletism.
You mean they were... good candidates for recruitment?
And no, Hakuho knew Hokuseiho since he was 6 years old, you can't say his amateur career was responsible for his recruitment.

>The measure of a great coach is being able to make shitty guys good, not guys who are already good even better.
This is nonsense. There is no such thing as a shitty wrestler who became good through a miracle worker oyakata.
Incidentally, a good oyakata knows when to give up on a lost cause.

>>233485
what's up with futagoyama not posting a single video last weekend? did Sakaue take a vacation finally

>>233485
I dont think she wants to be there lol

>>233513
>it would be absurd to expect that when a yokozuna is an exception among exceptions.
Yeah, it's not like they had an oyakata who raised two yokozuna around for Hakuho to learn from...

>Hakuho knew Hokuseiho since he was 6 years old
He met him by chance at an airport. It's not like they had any ties beyond that.

>you can't say his amateur career was responsible for his recruitment.
You think Hakuho would've recruited him if he washed out of little league sumo?

>There is no such thing as a shitty wrestler who became good through a miracle worker oyakata.
Yes goy, coaching is fake news. Only those with talent can ganbarize.

>a good oyakata knows when to give up on a lost cause.
How many glued wallets does it take to qualify as a lost cause?

>>233519
>Yeah, it's not like they had an oyakata who raised two yokozuna around for Hakuho to learn from...
Do you think Asahifuji is the rule and not the exception?

>He met him by chance at an airport. It's not like they had any ties beyond that.
Yes, they did. https://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/北青鵬治#来歴

>You think Hakuho would've recruited him if he washed out of little league sumo?
Hakuho seemed to have no problem with recruiting randoms. See pic

>coaching is fake news. Only those with talent can ganbarize.
You can't will an incompetent wrestler into a sekitori. Either the latent potential is there or it isn't. Can Asahifuji coach my 85 lb brittle bone disease nephew into becoming the next yokozuna? He's such a great oyakata, after all.

>>233471
My mans is retarded

>How many glued wallets does it take to qualify as a lost cause?
I don't know.

>>233499
What the actual fuck...

>>233492
>tfw forgot hokuseiho

>>233521
>Can Asahifuji coach my 85 lb brittle bone disease nephew into becoming the next yokozuna?
Why does every non-ringer have to be a Make-a-Wish kid? The mongol defense squad isn't sending their best. No one's asking him to make a dying child with polio into a dai-yokozuna. But surely the GOAT with legendary teaching skills to match could take an average teenager (that's not a world champion hakuho cup 25-time junior high yokozuna) to juryo for 1 basho?

>>233531
>surely the GOAT with legendary teaching skills to match could take an average teenager to juryo for 1 basho?
Even that seems like a stretch. Your average teenager is not particularly athletic.
I don't think that coaching skills are nonexistent, but I do think that coaching skill/wrestling potential can only complement the other. If a great coach can take a physically average, mentally average walk-in recruit all the way to Sandanme 5e, I applaud that as an accomplishment, but I'm not sure as to how much one would want to use that to measure the coach's greatness.

Maybe part of this is that every other sport allows the athletes to work with whomever they want, while rikishi can't change heya under ordinary circumstances. You can't think of an oyakata with no sekitori as accomplished in the way that you might an amateur boxing coach whose former students have all managed to go pro.

>>233533
That's a fucking huge bike
[spoiler]But does it count, sumobikebros?[/spoiler]

A board as new as /xs/ doesn't have spoilers, huh?

>>233535
A spoiler is surely wasted on a bicycle.

>>233490
>Enho has been high ranked
he had one basho at the absolute ass end bottom of the joi and he went 6-9. giving elder stock to another manlet who was a hakuho hanger on will be a mistake, they already have ishihura, one is more than enough. enho should just join the circus or try to become a jockey. maybe he can be a stunt double for child actors

>>233492
ishihura was raise by his dad, kusano came up through the ranks under iseghama and kiho & hakuoho are both permanently hampered by injuries as a direct result of hakuho's terrible mentorship

>>233537
Enho's career is one of the best in the world. The majority of sumo wrestlers never get anywhere near sekitori, and the majority of men who peak in the sekitori don't get anywhere near the joi. Yes, he falls short of the general standard for becoming an elder, but as I said, only by one basho. It's entirely possible that the rules will be bent to allow him to take a kabu, and if they are, that won't be unprecedented or particularly unusual.

>>233490
>>233539
If you go through everyone who fits the requirements for elder stock and are less than 65 years old as of right now, there are more than twice as many people as there are available stock. Obviously that's including people who got kicked out or are dead, but even getting rid of all of them there's tons of qualified rikishi who will never get stock simply because there just aren't enough. That's including over 40 rikishi still competing right now who qualify.
If Enho can't reach that requirement, he shouldn't get any leeway, because he would be taking it from someone else who's more qualified than him under the JSA's own rules.

>>233500
>Aonishiki is in the middle of bumfuck nowhere
he was either lucky or smart enough to get himself with aminishki, dude was a brilliant wrestler except for the fact that he always left himself too lanky to be upper sanyaku material.

>>233519
>met him by chance at an airport.
that story is so fake. the fancy upper crust families in mongolia are all interrelated and trade favors with each other, hakuho and gluefag are both from those families and so are nearly all the other mongs in sumo

>>233538
nice headcanon

>>233543
You're claiming they knew he was going to be a success at 6 years old and orchestrated the story from that time to take place in a Korean airport?

>>233425
>From intai to resigning in less than 4 years. Impressive. Took them 15 years to get rid of Takanohana.
Who says the NSK doesn’t adapt with the times?

I think the drama over
>Sooo many yokozunas are leaving the sumo association!!!
is way overblown.

Asashoryu never bothered to get Japanese citizenship, so he clearly never intended to stay.
Harumafuji was “fired” while still wrestling so he couldn’t have stayed on.
Wakanohana left to get away from his brother, who in turn, tried to stage a coup.
Akebono simply couldn’t afford a permanent kabu.
Wajima was asked to leave because he used his kabu as collateral on a loan.
Futahaguro was Futahaguro and Tamanoumi died while active.

That’s it for the entire modern era. That’s not a pattern.

>>233546
>Who says the NSK doesn’t adapt with the times?
It would also have been a matter of firing Takanohana, a nationally beloved sports hero, without a real infraction. They had to wait until he actually did something.

>>233541
The existence of other men who are entitled to a kabu would be irrelevant, because they don't have the one Enho wants to use. They have just as much ability to secure a kabu or a promise of a kabu as he does. If he can stake his claim then the only deciding factor is whether the JSA is prepared to show any leeway to a Hakuho disciple.

>>233547
Imagine if he hadn’t done anything overt and just played ball. They would have had no choice but to keep promoting him for doing a good job.

>>233548
Do we actually know if Enho wants to stay on as an elder or is this Chris pushing his narrative onto others?

>>233550
It's generally accepted that Enho is one bad tachiai away from being a quadriplegic. The only sane reason for him trying to mount a comeback is to secure his eligibility. However, this is sumo and there's no guarantee that Enho is sane.

>>233548
You're completely false, because Enho getting elder stock means one fewer that a deserving wrestler has the possibility of acquiring. You'd need to take the retirement age down to 55 with no consultant allowance in order to free up enough stock for every deserving rikishi to have one. A less deserving rikishi like Enho getting one means one fewer for the more deserving rikishi to try to get.

>>233553
That isn't how it works at all. You can only get a kabu if the man who already holds it agrees that you should inherit it. It doesn't matter how good a rikishi you are, nobody is entitled to a kabu. If someone wants to pass his on to Enho, then only Enho has any right to it.

>>233554
There are literally requirements to inherit kabu, anon. Someone can't say "I want Sawaisamu to inherit my stock." Enho has not met the requirements to inherit, it's that simple.

>>233557
Someone can absolutely say "I want Sawaisamu to inherit my stock" and then proceed to sit on it, hoping that Sawaisamu becomes eligible. He has no requirement to give up hope and sell his kabu to someone more "deserving". The rules for kabu ownership have been changed entirely before, and have been bent on multiple occasions during every incarnation of the system. If someone wants to pass his kabu on to Enho, in this case, it means that the committee would have to discuss whether Enho is popular and important enough to warrant such a bending of the rules. Otherwise, the present kabu holder can sit on his kabu until he reaches mandatory retirement age, waiting for Enho to hit juryo again or die trying.

>>233558
Did they change the rule about a person being able to own multiple shares? E.g. Taiho owned a bunch when he retired, as did Takanohana.
Hakuho clearly owned/controlled multiple shares since he had Miyagino for himself, Magaki for Ishiura, plus at least one more for Enho.

>>233559
Hakuho didn't own multiple shares. He presumably paid off the previous Magaki to retire early and transfer the share to Ishiura. This would have been the intention for Enho, as well.

>>233560
Ok, so it’s a less formal control.
>I paid for your share, you need to do what I say.

>>233558
Of course the JSA can do whatever they want, that's a half-assed pathetic excuse for an argument. The discussion is whether the current rules as they exist now should be bent for Enho should he choose to retire. At the moment there are two kabu just sitting around empty that can be freely assigned to an eligible rikishi retiring. So should Enho get an exception when he doesn't meet the eligibility requirements? My argument is that no, they shouldn't, because there are many others who are already eligible, some of whom might be thinking of retiring soon, and making an exception now will cause problems later on.

>>233563
>So should Enho get an exception when he doesn't meet the eligibility requirements?
And, for that matter, what value does Enho bring that would warrant an exception being made? Popularity?
There are plenty of other extremely popular wrestlers who even managed to stay more than five minutes in the sekitori.

>>233563
They can't be freely assigned, and they aren't sitting empty, they are owned - if the previous holder has died, then they're typically owned by his widow. They are empty because the man chosen as the successor hasn't retired yet. They aren't up for grabs at all. It doesn't matter if someone's eligible, only whether they've built up a personal or financial deal with the previous holder. If Enho can't get a kabu, that doesn't mean the one he was after will go to someone with a better record, it could just as easily go to a man who's never been in the top half of juryo, but was close friends with the current holder. There is no "deserves" when it comes to kabu.

>>233565
Ok, so how does this work:
The Izutsu share is currently held by the former Akiseyama, but it’s listed as owned by Shimanoumi, who is currently active.
How does that happen?

I think Endo officially owns a share as well. Then you have reports of Sadanoumi having a share ready for him whenever he retires but he doesn’t actually own it outright?

>>233567
Akiseyama has it on loan, and will have to give it up when Shimanoumi retires. The two are either close personal friends, or Shimanoumi is doing Akiseyama a favour - generally for money.

>>233568
Sorry, I meant how an active wrestler (who is not particularly accomplished) ended up owning a share?

>>233569
Because he was given it by the previous holder, as a gift, for a favour, or for money (under the table). Anyone who wants to become an elder needs to secure his share before retirement, if he retires without one then he's left the JSA and can't rejoin.

I wish I was a sumo elder

>>233569
In the case of Shimanoumi, he married the daughter of the previous Izutsu (Sakahoko).

>>233570
>>233572
Presumably this will happen with Ouhou in a couple of months.
Taihou owned the Outake share (among others) and gave it to Takatouriki (Ouhou’s father) when his daughter married him. After Takatouriki got fired, he divorced from Taihou’s mother and the family retained ownership of the share. Dairyu has “owned” it since then but it will pass back to the Naya family when Dairyu retires.

>>233571
We know Hakuho.

>>233577
Dumb. Hakuho was one and if he wanted to still be one, he could be. He chose to walk away.

>>233476
>trolling redditors
You ARE a fucking redditor, dipshit.

>>233546
>Akebono simply couldn’t afford a permanent kabu.

Akebono gave an interview where he said that, as a gaijin, he was told that he would never be allowed to become chairman of the JSA no matter what he did. That crushed and angered him, and lead to his decision to resign.

>>233586
Even if that wasn't true, he also couldn't afford a permanent kabu, because he was stupid enough to piss off his supporters club.

>>233582
Thats a nice cope for you but it isnt true. You go to reddit because you are a redditor. I dont go to reddit and the only reddit content I see is posted here by you.

>>233582
>We're all Redditors
Nope. Just you, faggot.

>>233593
Im even more stubborn than that

>I hate 4chan, thats why I spend hours posting on the site every single day
and also
>4chan used to be great back when I first found it, but after year and years of me participating on the site its not trash
its like a jeet complaining about there being shit in the street

>>233586
I can't side with Akebono on that one. It only makes sense that a foreigner couldn't possibly represent the traditions, culture, religion, and history of a foreign country. He lacked a LOT of contemporary knowledge about such things.

>>233586
Akebono would never have made it to chairman anyway if he was stupid enough to believe that. They really should have a course at sumo school to teach all these boys that being big and strong stops mattering the second you retire, and that you need to be good at socialising and politics if you want a successful career as an elder.

I wanna hang out at Tatsunami with the boys :(

>>233587
>because he was stupid enough to piss off his supporter's club
His koen kai disbanded because Akebono married a woman that the koen kai disapproved of, as opposed to someone that would've given the koen kai more prestige and connections that Akebono had initially been in a relationship with.
More importantly though, without support from his (defunct) koen kai, taking the K-1 contract and leaving the sumo world was an attractive option when the only real option for staying in sumo would've been to take additional debts borrowing money to buy a kabu, then working up the ranks with a reduced salary. I've also heard that he was in deep debt from failing restaurant/real estate investments, but I couldn't find a source for this.

>>233604
Does it really matter what it's being called?

>Teru is officially Isegahama-Oyakata

God fucking help Atamifuji, Takerufuji, and Hakuoho. As the top prospects of Isegahama he's going to put their balls through the absolute wringer to get results out of them.

...who the fuck is actually at Miyagino-beya atm anyway?

I wish I could wear yukatas

>>233608
Nobody, Miyagino-beya shut down 14 months ago.

>>233610
So is the current Isegahama going to become Miyagino while Teru builds a new Isegahama?

>>233608
They used the old Azumazeki-beya building and given Hakuho didn't even live there, probably Takamiyama?

>>233611
Isegahama will stay Isegahama with Teru taking control of the stable. The former Isegahama will be the new Miyagino and stay on as a consultant. Miyagino-beya will not be reformed until the stock is transferred again years from now.

>>233614
Okay this shit's getting confusing so I'll use more words.

Is the current Isegahama BUILDING going to become the Miyagino BUILDING while Teru builds a new BUILDING for Isegahama?

B U I L D I N G
U
I
L
D
I
N
G

>>233617
EXPLAIN THE SITUATION CUNT

WHERE IS THE MIYAGINO BEYA GOING TO BE SITUATED

>>233618
IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE MIYAGINO ISN'T REOPENING IN THE NEAR FUTURE. ASK THIS QUESTION ONCE THE CURRENT MIYAGINO GIVES THE STOCK TO SOMEONE WHO WILL REOPEN IT.

>>233616
No, because there's not going to be a new Miyagino-beya so there's no reason for a nonexistent stable to have a building of its own. Isegahama will stay in the same building until they decide of their own accord to get a new one.
I'm not up to date on what happened to the old Miyagino-beya building, but the stable was going to move out of it eventually because Hakuho was planning on making a new building elsewhere. The stable closed before construction on the new building happened though.

>>233619
Okay so the situation is that Miyagino is an elder stock simply being held but not used in an active stable right now until the old cunt can pass it onto someone who gives a shit.

>>233618
There's no such thing as Miyagino-beya.

>>233621
The majority of sumo elders aren't actually stablemasters themselves, they're either junior coaches or old consultants working for a stablemaster. Likewise, most stables open and close constantly all the time with little consistency, because the stable is named after the stock of the stablemaster, and is renamed if the stablemaster switches stock. For example, the previous Miyagino-beya was the second one to exist, with no connection to the first, and was originally Yoshibayama-beya before Yoshibayama acquired the Miyagino stock.

>>233623
I wonder who'll be the next Miyagino to open a stable. I'll stay glued to my screen.

>>233624
More likely it'll be Ishiura or Homarefuji opening a stable before Asahifuji properly retires, and getting the MIyagino stock when he does, while their current stock (Magaki, Tateyama) goes to someone more junior.

>>233626
Don't forget Takarafuji. For a long time it was assumed that he'd be the next Isegahama instead of Terunofuji, and he's getting on in years now.

Reminder that Hoshoryu's Yokozuna run was legit.
>Powerful 13-2JY where he looked almost unstoppable
>After his faltering to Maegashira he utterly dominated to a 12-3 which culminated in 3 convincing wins on the space of 20 minutes against the basho's best
He unironically earned it. Onosato earned it more, but Hoshoryu absolutely earned it.

>>233630
Low tier bait. Here's a (You).

>>233631
Mistress (male) please may I have another?

>233632
No.

>>233633
Faggot won't even own up to his (You)s.

>233634
Just like Onosato won't give up any kinboshi, unlike Horseoryu.

I'm all for a good zabuton toss. I don't care who loses.

Predict Kusano's performance in his first makuuchi 'sho.
mine: double digits and fighting spirit.

>>233639
He's going to win all the first week but then get checked by matchups against higher ranks in the end

Ill call it a 10-5

>>233639
6-8 MK back to juryo

>>233639
Double digits.
Kusano Ozeki in one year from now.
Screenap this post.

>>233639
14-1 Y, one kinboshi

>>233639
ZENSHO. YUSHO. PROMOTED STRAIGHT TO M1!

NONE OF THE FUTAGOYAMA CHADS RECOGNIZED HORSESHITRYU LMAOOOO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_Go-BSCoMc
he is a 'yokozuna' with zero aura, is that even possible?

>>233534
Of course it does.

>>233649
Was he a good Yokozuna?

>>233650
He wasn't a bad one.

>>233651
>Hokuseiho if good (trained by Nishonoseki)
what a wasted potential. I refuse to believe Hakuho spent even a week training the lanky fag. Most like he just reinforced the "do you brand of sumo" shit.

I am gonna say it

I am gonna do it

here I go
I like Hoshoryu

>>233655
I pray to my Hoshoryu trading card every day.

>>233654
That's illegal

>>233654
>>233657

>>233658
BAH GAWD

>>233652
>Hokuseiho if good (trained by Nishonoseki) ... Most like he just reinforced the "do you brand of sumo" shit.
Like Takamiyama?

>>233648
oyakata channel is the only good slop. iseghama is pretty OK too, but the rest are nearly 100% trash

>233654
This is also bait. Do not reply to it.

There's a master baiter loose in the sumo thread

>>233662
but I really do!

>>233650
Yes. Takanohana had an entire army to support him while Akebono was there alone

>>233654
You can't say that!

>>233657
is this drawanon's work, or just something you (assuming you're him) saved as inspiration?
ink + watercolor is great

>>233668
What's going on with the guy in the back?

>>233670
When you gotta go you gotta go

>>233649
Damn now THAT is a bike

so what is the role of an elder
why is it so important to be one

>>233676
You can't have students in the NSK without being an elder, and you receive a salary. You can't leave and rejoin, or defer your becoming an elder, so it's imperative that any rikishi who wants to be an elder has a license to do so by the time he retires.

There are not nearly enough licenses to support all of the people who would want one, and this problem has recently become worse with the sanyo system: instead of mandatory retirement at 65, existing oyakata can stay on until 70 in an advisory role (which still requires a coaching license). If you had a slot lined up for when an oyakata aged out in 1 year, then lol get fucked, because he's staying on for 6 more years now. You'll have to either leave the NSK forever, or pay someone hundreds of thousands of dollars to voluntarily retire in time for you to take their license. Don't have that kind of money? You'd better have a solid post-sumo career prepared, because you have no practical job prospects.

>>233639
7-8

>>233668
>lmao get a load of these nerds

>>233639
3-4-8, career-destroying injury that ends his career right there (another Abi victim)

https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/202506100001297.html
They're planning to use that expensive Nihonbashi land for the headquarters of the Grand Slam business. Claims that the dohyou will be visible through a big window because they want a spectacle for passersby.

>>233683
I want the dohyo to be visible from space

>>233636
>Maegashira losses in their last 3 healthy basho
Onosato - 5
Hoshoryu - 6

Don't be acting like Onosato is some unbeatable machine when it comes to low rankers.

>>233693
>healthy basho

>well if you remove Hoshoryu's godawful basho, they're really quite similiar

>>233679
damn

>>233697
Will you hang yourself when Onosato goes kyujo for the first time?

>>233693
>if I cherry pick the stats to fit my narrative, then look how well they support my narrative, checkmate

Fuck off tardo

>>233682
he won't be facing abi on day 8 if he starts 3-4

here is a video that will explain to you how daily match scheduling works
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoOB60Nc2Pc

>>233704
Onosato will lose day 1 to Oshoma and you will write long paragraphs about why that is actually a big win for him

>>233713
Onosato is going to zensho yusho and you're going to fucking love it, you little bitch

>>233713
>>233719
Can you two flirt somewhere else?

While Hosh is spending his time off between bashoes dilly-dallying with photo ops and other publicity stunts, Dan is devoting every moment of his time to training and eating. Dan will show up day 1 ready for action and give the mongzuna yet another embarrassing first day L.

>>232947 (OP)
I think Onosato is going to pull a 2021 Terunofuji and win two of the next three basho, with one zensho. I hope Hoshoryu gets the other one.

A year with only Yokozuna* yusho would be glorious.

*Counting Hoshoryu and Onosato's Ozeki ones.

>>233723
this isn't rocky

we need this kind of captcha

how come aonishiki upsets so many of the posters in this thread so badly? what is it about him they find so aggravating? all he has done is be extraordinarily good at sumo.
you'd think people would be excited to see him breaking records instead of getting angry over it

>>233740
bit thick, are we?

>>233740
Putin's paid trolls probably hate him

>>233740
Aonishiki doesn't upset anyone. The Danfag is extremely annoying, so some people have gone as far as to start hateposting about Aonishiki just to spite him.

Watching beyasloppa makes me wanna clean up my eating. Not because they're clearly gluttonous, but because the things they eat are actually fresh and nutritious. If eaten in reasonable portions a lot of it would be quite healthy.

>>233740
Aonishiki doesn't upset people. Posters who dickride him do though.
>UUOOOHHHH SUGOI SUMO SLAVA UKRAINI!!!

>>233740
If you spam something long enough and blatantly enough, an average 4chin user will develop an opposite opinion as a natural response. That's why Hoshoryu apologia is on the rise now

>>233744
are you joking? the overwhelming majority of their caloric intake is simple carbs in the form of white rice, they might as well be fattening up on refined sugar. the rice is why they have such a high prevalence of diabetes, liver ailment and bowel cancer.

>>233750
>if eaten in reasonable portions
At least read the post before you reply. The Japanese all eat white rice regularly, and the non-rikishi ones are generally quite healthy and long-lived.

>>233751
Japs have more than double the likelihood of getting bowel cancer than the rest of the civilized world. Their longevity statistics have more to do with pension fraud related identity theft than their diets. Nations with national pension systems all have statistically expanded life expectancies which only exist on paper.

>oh my god carbs!

Sound like a buncha teenage girls in here

>>233748
Shishi is Russian, not Ukranian

>>233753
There are millions and millions of people in Japan (and in other nations with pension systems), it's utter madness to suggest that there are enough pension fraudsters to noticeably affect longevity statistics. The simple fact is that a country that's rich and sophisticated enough to have a national pension system is also rich and sophisticated enough to invest well into healthcare and education, which results in longer lifespans.

>>233753
retard

>>233750
Bro I said reasonable portions. Stews of fresh meat and veg are some god tier shit.

>>233756
Want to live to 100? Ditch vegetables and commit pension fraud
https://www.standard.co.uk/comment/ig-nobel-awards-ucl-dr-saul-justin-newman-blue-zones-b1183218.html

>>233743
>Aonishiki doesn't upset anyone
but also
>I developed a paranoid persecution complex about people posting Aonishiki threads
clearly the topic of Aonishiki irritates you, why do you find it so bothersome?

>>233762
>Spam THING
>Someone eventually tells you to shut up spamming THING
>HMMMM IT SEEMS LIKE THING IRRITATES YOU??? WHY IS THAT???

>>233760
You've conflated average life expectancies (which are longer in more advanced nations for the reasons I stated) with supercentenarians and extreme longevity. Sure, there are probably less 100 year olds than officially listed, because even if 20% of them are fraudsters that's still only a comparative handful of people. That isn't the case for "ordinary" long lives, and it isn't supported by the study you're referencing which exclusively looks at extreme outliers. There isn't a widespread epidemic of people fraudulently claiming to be 82, there are a few dozen people pretending to be over 100.

>>233762
>people posting Aonishiki threads
We know it was all you, Danfag.

>>233726
>I hope Hoshoryu gets the other one.
I hope he wins 2 in a row. It would firmly lay all the "does he deserves promotion" talks to rest. All the other yusho-equivalent 'zunas (Kisenosato, Kakuryu, & Terunofuji) managed to do it during their tenure, so Hosh should be able to do it as well if he's truly on the level.

>>233768
Me on the left (kyaaaa he's so big!!!).

Randomly checked out Hoshoryu's career and what in the living fuck is this? It's Juryo from July 2020, and it was won on a 10-5??? I know there's been 11-4 yushos but I didn't even think 10-5 was mathematically possible.

>>233770
Meisei is the exact type of guy to win a yusho 10-5. Definition of a guy who only gets as far as he does from being in the right place at the right time.

Please explain to me how Oshoma is going to be Komusubi. It makes zero sense. He's the dictionary definition of a guy who loses to the people he's expected to lose to and will never do anything special or grow as a rikishi. Fucking insane.

>>233775
Shit happens

>>233762
kys danigger, your freak gaijin rikishi is not enough to make it the face of /sumo/ every thread.

>>233760
Japan currently has nearly 100,000 people claiming to be over 100 years old. in 1960 when the modern pension system started there were less than 200 people claiming to be that old.
yeah its totally the diet that explains japan's average life expectancy, because their diet has changed so dramatically since the 1960s. they didn't eat rice and fish back then or something, they all ate mcdonalds, which is absent from the modern jap diet.
and of course japanese people living in countries without national pensions mysteriously don't have the long life expectancy they do in japan.

>>233788
Huh I wonder if something happened in Japan that would drastically lower the number of people who would be old in 1960.

>>233789
all those 80 year olds who were fighting in the war during the 40s

>>233790
Because famously, only people actively fighting in WW2 lost their lives, especially in Japan's major cities.

>>233792
>everyone in japan in the 1940s got killed
then how come theres so many japanese people who claim to have been born before 1925 that are still alive

>>233770
Check out Nagoya 2001, lol

>>233793
The weak ones died

>>233788
In 1960 someone who was 100 years old would have been born in 1860. People born in 1860 have a different life expectancy and a different chance of extreme longevity than people born in 1925. It is, as Anon said, completely ridiculous to suggest that Japan's high average life expectancy is due to tens of thousands of people pretending to be centenarians, and obtuse to imply that there have been no changes in Japan since 1960 aside from their diet.

>>233795
Jesus just call off the basho at that point.

>>233802
Fuck that. I want to see that 8-man playoff.

>>233788
The Japanese diet actually changed quite a lot as the country recovered from the war. Rice consumption went down and fish, meat and dairy went up. There are, of course, other factors, but from a dietary perspective alone, it makes sense why they would live longer.

It is also worth noting that rice is probably the healthiest mass-consumed grain there is, even if it is basically 90% carbs.

>>233805
Oats mog rice so hard it's unreal.

>>233806
Show me the Yokozuna that oats built.

>>233807
>The moment foreigners who were raised on non-rice diets start taking more of an interest in sumo, nips struggle to get any Yokozuna at all
Embarrassing!

>>233808
I didn't know Hawaii was famous for its massive fields of oats.

>>233809
Pineapples are actually a cereal. Little known fact.

>>233808
>The moment foreigners who were raised on non-rice diets
None of the foreign yokozunas were raised on non-rice diets. They came to Japan as teenagers and were eating the same thing as everybody else. It's not like they got their own separate horse meat and spam chanko.

>>233808
>he thinks the Mongolians grew up living wild on the steppes
Anon, they eat rice and other grains in Ulaanbaator. It may have a public urination problem, but it counts as a proper city and the rich kids eat like normal people. Hakuho wasn't raised on raw meat tenderised under his saddle.

Are you guys really trying to argue that they eat rice because it's the perfect food or something?

>>233813
>he thinks the Mongolians grew up living wild on the steppes
Some did.

>>233814
First time in the off-basho thread?

>>233815
>Herds of Ichinojos grazing on the fresh spring grass out on the steppes
Take me back...

>>233719
He will never zensho because he can't beat Hosh lmao

>>233833
And Hosh will never yusho because he can't beat...Ichiyamamoto.

Who would win in a fight?
>economic depression and a staple food shortage
or
>rice

>>233837
I will never forget Botan

>>233834
He just did though.

>>233848
Lose a yusho? I know, he does it every time

>Chris trying to make video content out of intrabeya training session news
>big news guys, shunta went 9-1 against koga t. Chris
the man is desperate

>>233851
My boy Koga is truly hopeless

>>233852
Just wait for the growth spurt. Koga (forma de ogro) is going to make Onosato look like a little bitch by 2027.

>>233854
I cant even laugh at these memes now. I wanted to see Koga do better but he's really becoming Moriurara II. He seems ok with it though I suppose.

>>233855
Koga's doing much better than Moriurara. He's KK'd 4 times in 23 bashos, while Moriurara never managed even a 3 win basho in that length of time. Moriurara has only had ten KKs in 131 bashos.

you have been visited by takakeisho of the yakultaze beya (purobiotiku ichimon)

regardless of your actions, living bacteria will survive transportation to your gut lumen, and your thread will advance towards the image limit without discussion

itadakimaaaaaaaaaaaas!!!!

>>233859
It's actually stunning how fat he was and how slim he currently is.

I hope koga kills himself so i can stop seeing the femcels drama posting about him

>>233851
>beya slop being shit into chris mouth
>chris shotting his beya slop reporting into anons mouth
>anon shitting his report of chris's report of shitty beya slop here
There is no reason for you to report chris videos here. anyone who cares can follow him on jewtube

>>233863
If you don't like talking about sumo wrestlers and things happening in the sumo community, why are you here?

>>233865
I post zero good content on 4chan and thats why I expect others to post good content for me to enjoy

>>233865
not just the sumo community, but very possibly the community's only true leadership figure, respected both inside and outside of Japan

y'know, maybe the real basho was the 45 days of pointless fighting over nothing between bashos... after all...

31 more days... don't think I'm gonna make it bros...

>>233874
Quick! Get this man an emergency slop injection stat!

You know I actually like that beyasloppa is primarily the lower ranked guys training. It helps stop the content from turning into a popularity contest, at least a little.

>>233875
God he's actually mashing up last night's stew into literal slop. I love it.

Can Takasago cut it out with the ceremonies and just put out some fucking sloppa already?

Sumofoodbros, where's our slop

>>233889
Something is rotten in the state of Japan

I just finished 'the way of salt' and enjoyed it. It was a little irritating the way he kept harping on Sumo being a dying sport, but overall a very good read. Does anyone have any similar books I could check out? I'd also be interested to hear if he says anything in this book that's outright wrong, or just bad opinions. Just hungry for more I guess. Hell I'd take similar books just about the culture, not explicitly sumo as well. Thanks.

Strongest sekitori
1. Hoshoryu
2. Aonishiki
3. Wakamotoharu
4. Tamawashi
5. Ura

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8yhKti5xfw&t=7s

>>233865
>>233867
>Why don't you want to talk about Chris?
Because Chris is SumoTalk for the modern audience.

>>233896
Not only is being massive a talent, its the most important talent in sumo. Memorizing and learning to execute a bunch of obscure techniques is for tryhards. Dudes like Onosato & Chad dominate and win yushos, sissy midgets who "have game" don't win much. Ura is a pathetic mediocrity. Mainoumi barely made it into sanyaku once and he got destroyed there. Midorifuji's """skill"""" and """moves"""" are just a cope for being laughably small. Its just like in the NBA where being tall is the most important skill anyone has. Midorifuji and the midget gang didn't have the brains to eat a healthy diet when they were children so they ended up as manlets and there is nothing they can do about it, no amount of practice or study can help them dominate in the way Onosato does.

>>233896
>sumotalk mentioned
Mike Wisemann is a hack who has consumed so much of his own Koolaid about yaocho and mukiryoku-sumo, that his dying website has reached self-parody levels of ignorance about any of the wrestlers he discusses outside of his own delusional mind. I once read his website years ago, and concluded that he has never participated in any competitive activity in his life: not in sports, games, or any contest whatsoever and can't comprehend that variance, due to human error, exists. Chris Gould is a grifter but don't ever put him in Sumotalk's league.

>>233895
No way was Onosato really trying there. A guy his size should be pushing 300kg on a lift like that. Remember that Teru had a 400kg deadlift.

>>233898
>Chris Gould is a grifter but don't ever put him in Sumotalk's league.
That's why I said 'for the modern audience'. It's in video format, all the sharpest edges have been sanded down, he couches his errant speculation with true statements that he's cribbed from Nikkan/Hochi/Sankei. Wesemann was never going to have a sizable audience, but Chris does!

https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/9afcf025cdfae25f078d6f70b857fe43067525f0
Kotokantetsu's lawsuit against Sadotagake-oyakata is expected to have its verdict released in two weeks. Very tumultuous times recently.

>>233909
>tumultuous

>>233910
>illiterate

>>233795
Wait, what the fuck is this? Was there actually an eight-way playoff?

>>233914
Absolutely. I wish I could find footage of the whole thing, but my Google-fu is not strong today. All I can find is this from Sentoryu (Henry Armstrong Miller). https://youtu.be/1z3oY3drajg?si=vab3HXTt1t3k_Q_5&t=1300

>>233915
>>233914
The only playoffs of the basho, btw.

>>233895
>blow your back out for a video haha

This is a list of idiots

>>233923
>nooo don't exercise and try to be strong god dammit!!!
>you're professional athletes after all

>>233928
>has never done a 1RM attempt in his entire life

>>233928
"Who can lift the most" isn't exercise, it's a dumb challenge. It won't make you any stronger (that's what consistent and sensible training does) and it's got a good chance of injuring you. This is an idiotic and unprofessional thing to do.

>>233902
>Remember that Teru had a 400kg deadlift
300 kg, not 400 kg. Unless you've seen something I haven't.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qH_CDaZ-FA&ab_channel=ChrisSumo

Hakuho commenting on Onosato.

>>233930
>"Who can lift the most" isn't exercise, it's a dumb challenge
They're literally rikishi (力士).
That aside, they're in the business of entertaining. There's a reason we love Ura, even though he isn't the best sumo wrestler.

>>233934
It wouldn't be very entertaining if your favourite rikishi took a trip to Sunappu-shi while showing off for a stupid video.

>>233895
Based Dan cranking out huge numbers on the 1st try.
Horseshitryu didn't win because he needed like 5 tries before he was finally able to beat Dan's one pull.

Where are the sumo food videos? I need my weekly dose of Kogazuna.

>>233938
Koga finally snapped and killed everyone. The JSA is covering it up.

>>233916
Oh, they just did it in a classical ladder style, of course. That makes sense. Don't know why it didn't occur to me that eight people are the number of competitors in quarterfinals.

>>233944
It only really gets silly when it's a prime of people like 5 or 7, though DESU they should give higher ranked rikishi privilege in that shit. 7 can just be an 8 man knockout tournament where the highest ranked rikishi gets a free win for having the toughest schedule. 5 is awkward though. Personally I'd put the two highest ranked rikishi against each other, then the other three guys do a three way knockout, then the winners fight. That way the higher ranked guy has an easier time to reach the last fight because he had the toughest schedule so deserves it.

>>233946
This is back to front. The lowest ranking man should get the bye in the first round, because he's already proven that he's at least equal to the others, despite their higher rank.

>>233947
>Fuck man, I know Teru is good but he didn't have to go through Tokihayate down in Juryo

>>233948
This proves my point. The lowest ranking man in the division can only get into position to challenge for the cup if the higher-ranking men fail to stop him. It's an uphill battle for him to get a place in the playoffs, whereas for a high-ranker, being in the playoffs only means that you've failed to be the sole leader. Takerufuji is a particularly bad example here, because in that tournament he beat all but one of the san'yaku sent to bring him down, plus a future yokozuna.

>>233951
Noooooooooo chicken legs is a fluke!! You cant like him! Its a fluke! Low maegashira farmer for an easy fluke win!! Thats why M17 wins every basho! Skinny ankles!

>>233953
If Onosato was allowed to compete from M17 next basho do you think he'd win it?

>>233954
Only if theres not a M18 to get an even easier fluke win

>>233954
>allowed
Who's going to stop him? Chairman Hanma?

>>233956
>Onosato bursts into the room where matches are decided
>Breaks the arm of the guy painting the names
>Puts himself against M18e MItakeumi day one
>This repeats every day for 14 days, with Onosato breaking someone's arm and putting himself against a goober, even having the audacity to match himself against Juryo rikishi spending a day in Makuuchi multiple times after Kotoshoho kyujos with a broken arm
>Day 15 he loses to Hoshoryu

>>233957
>Torikumi is released for day 15
>Hoshoryu isn't on it

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c0lnedjkgr5o
Oh God damnit. We're going to get so many more Nevilles...

>>233959
You are so fucking stupid.

>>233960
At least I don't greentext my fantasies on an anime website every fucking day.

>>233959
He's a foreigner, and most of the Englishmen on 4chan have to dislike him on principle because of that.

>>233959
Damn this rikishi lookin zesty.

>>233959
>Basically, if he got there he would be revered in Japan as a god.
British people really do try their hardest to come across as obnoxious as possible huh

>>233959
>15
lil' timmy doesn't stand a chance

>>233975
Better he comes in at 15 than at 18 - then Minato won't have to make him un-learn as many bad habits that he picked up doing parodic amasumo with Scott Findlay and his ilk.

>>233959
Neville is just one man. A british man, to be sure, but still only one. Maybe 9/10ths of one.

>>233977
The remaining tenth? Hatred of all things good and right and American.

>>233978
What would a Brit know about values, or eating good food? No place for our Anglo "ancestors" in sumo tbdesu

>>233959
Nicholas Yokozuna by 2032
book it

>>233982
>our Anglo ancestors
Speak for yourself, Neville. I'm 5 quarters Irish and 3 quarters Polish and 200% American.

If I had a camera I'd take pictures of me cooking so you could see the sloppa I eat. Earlier I ate a whole cooked chicken with some rice.

>>233994
ok

>>233994
Nabatame stop posting here and find a trans girlfriend or something...

>>233931
and this was an ugly as hell rack pull with straps

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2NAXCtDHq4
the belly touch events are back

>>234012
we got Tamawashi, Hiradoumi, Ura, Shodai and Sadanoumi

>>234013
We should hold our own /sumo/ belly touching event next week. When you visit other boards, make sure to invite everyone!

>>234013
Very dignified

>>234013
Ura got dat drip dere

>>234012
please forgive my ignorance, what in the sam-fuck is this?

>>234021
Haven't you ever wanted to touch a sumo wrestler's belly?

https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/202506140000759.html
Toyoda of Toyota has been given the presidency of the International Sumo Federation.

>>234023
>Toyoda of Toyota
Why not Mitsubashi of Mitsubishi?

>>234026
Because that makes no sense. Putting aside that Mitsubishi wasn't named for a person (it describes the three diamond logo), it would be Mitsuhishi without the rendaku.

>>234026
Because Nihonbashi is enough.

>>234028
>Mitsubishi wasn't named for a person
If Toyota was, they spelled it wrong.

>>234030
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toyota#History:~:text=Vehicles%20were%20originally,on%20September%2029.

>>234031
>be named Ford
>your bitch-ass son in law decides to call your company Pord

I'd buy a Phord.

Sumofoodbros, we are so back

>>234035
SLOP FOR THE SLOP GOD

>>234026
Mitsuhishi of Mitsubishi was on vacation and Kotansha of Kodansha was unfortunately swept up in the boat betting scandal.

https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/202506140001987.html
In explaining the official name of his new company (Hakuho Dayan Sumo & Sports Corporation (白鵬ダヤン相撲&スポーツ株式会社)), Hakuho claims descent from Dayan Khan.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dayan_Khan

>>234055
>His reigning title, "Dayan", means "the whole"[6] or "long lasting" in Mongolian language
Unlike Hakuho's career as an oyakata.

>>234055
It's gonna look so bad when this goes nowhere.

>>234056
He glosses it instead as "all-encompassing", in reference to the global aspect of his new company.

>>234060
With the backers he's already courted, it's hard to imagine a practical way for it to fail. At most, it could end up pared down to just a foreign Hakuho Cup, surely not collapsing altogether.

>>234062
That IS "going nowhere". Hakuho's backers like the Hakuho Cup, and they like the idea of a bigger, international version. However, Japan is the only nation where there are enough young kids doing sumo to hold a youth tournament in. Maybe Mongolia, at a push, but all the promising ones get sent over to Japan as teenagers anyway. Global sumo, such as it is, is comprised of middle-aged unathletic amateurs, trained by other middle-aged unathletic amateurs. We've seen this with things like the US Sumo Open, and Hakuho attaching his name to "competition" of that calibre is only going to result in humiliation. Sumo has a weak enough reputation worldwide as things stand, without having an absurd amount of money spent just to highlight how laughable the sport really is outside Japan.

>>234063
If you were convinced to watch sumo and post here about watching sumo, what makes you think it isn't possible for that to happen to other people? I doubt sumo can ever be the equivalent of soccer or cricket, but the recent successes of unbelievably stupid shit like Power Slap or F1 don't much convince me that the average sports viewer is discerning.

Kagayaki's wedding cake.

>>234061
Same energy

>>234066
and when they're done eating the remainder goes in a trough from the stable jonidan lads to eat

>>234066
I hate how over the top it is, like it's some tacky South Korean wedding. Literally zero hincakeu.

>>234065
I was convinced to watch ozumo, and post about ozumo. I couldn't care less about international amateur sumo. Even if the segment of the sports-viewing public who liked Power Slap does latch on to Hakuho's sumo competition, as soon as they discover that a better sort of sumo exists they'll just watch that instead. You wouldn't keep eating dogfood if someone offered you steak, would you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdZPMMDgIQU

Chris slop. Zak got asked how it felt to help make Onosato's rope lmao.

>>234070
that could be offset somewhat by retarded gimmicks. for example "what if a fat 6'8" american college football dropout fought a pro-boxer (who can now only slap) in a sumo ring?"

i'd watch that with zero sumo interest

>>234070
>as soon as they discover that a better sort of sumo exists they'll just watch that instead
No subtitles! NO SUBTITLES!!1

>>234070
>You wouldn't keep eating dogfood if someone offered you steak, would you?
There's your answer: >>234072

>>234073
>Haku-chan, how can we make idiot Western pig-dogs watch sumo? As a gaijin, you must know!
>It's simple, Toyoda-kun! We'll do something completely different and just call it sumo! They won't be able to tell the difference!
>Haku-chan sugoi!

>>234076
the rules would be the same but it would be like half early UFC and half influencer boxing

main event options:
boogie1488 vs jake paul
eddie hall vs conor mcgregor
hafthor bjornson vs three midgets
kahuoho vs mike tyson

>>234078
i meant to type hakuoho but i actually meant hokuseiho anyway

>>234035
>>234036
waka-taka slop https://youtu.be/w3wuEbw2Cy8?t=1205

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnNmnw8z3uw

This is really depressing sloppa. The amount of quietly sitting and eating just ain't what I'm into.

>>234097
It's exactly the same as the last hundred episodes of Futagosloppa.

>>234098
But at least in those videos I can admire Nabatame's physique. This is just shitters quietly eating depressingly looking food.

>>234099
>t. ranny

>>234066
goddamn bro
that cake probably cost like 10 grand

>tfw no gf

>>234103
For guys who are supposed to be reserved, a cake like that looks fucking disgraceful if you ask me.

>>234104
Yeah I think it's a bit tacky too but then again rikishi have so few opportunities to flaunt their shit you know
so it's understandable that he went all out

>>234103
>>234066
I was pretty close

>>234105
>>234104
Public functions like that are paid for by the supporters clubs and are only there for them to hang out, don't think about it too hard. Kagayaki himself would've had no input on anything, he and his wife just show up and hobnob with the big wigs. Some of these receptions even happen months after the wedding itself.

>>234105
I could understand if the rikishi had reached Ozeki or even just Sanyaku, but Kagayaki has been an eternal sekitori jobber.

>>234108
Kagayaki is particularly notable by virtue of being completely un-notable. He's the quintessential Maegashitter NPC.

>>234108
Your mistake is thinking it's about the rikishi and not the wife. She probably wanted the most extravagant cake possible.

>>234063
I would've been a sumo fan when I was younger but I never saw the real deal until a couple years ago.

Before that the only exposure to sumo wrestling I had was Fat Bastard in Austin Powers. Not exactly appealing.

>>234109
I'd say less but he went for the worst colour of mawashi; that dirty looking yellow that Oho decided to embrace last basho. Meanwhile Kayo went for a based bright yellow mawashi.

>>234112
That's exactly what will happen with the Hakuho Dayan Traveling Freak Show. People will see a ridiculous spectacle, assume that sumo is just as stupid and weird as they've been led to believe, and never give it a second thought.

>>234055
>Hakuho claims descent from Dayan Khan.
That's long enough ago they probably all are descended from him.

>>234107
are supporters clubs behind the scenes controlling things like the ZOG?

>>234117
ZOG wishes it had as tight a stranglehold as the average supporters club. They find wives for sekitori, jobs for Jonidan lifers when they retire, places to stay for the bashos outside Tokyo, food for the stable, and more.

>>234097
at first it was a fun project, now is just routine.

>>234118
>They find wives for sekitori
God I wish that was me.