Something I realized recently is that part of why I feel miserable is because I tend to hate people that have the things I want:
>Hate people that have financial stability because I never had it and at this rate won't
>Hate people that have will power to do the things they set their minds to
>Hate people that live in Japan because I turned down an offer to study there and regret it every day
>Hate people that draw better than I do, I love art but suck at it
>and so on and so forth
I feel like a pathetic loser that can't do anything and blames others for his misfortune instead of building something for himself.
I know that this is bad, that those people haven't done anything bad to me or took anything from me, so I wonder, why can't I stop being envy and hating.
It's so scary.
To know what you are doing and thinking is wrong and not knowing how to make it stop.
I'd appreciate any advice, thanks.

you turned down a free trip to anime titty land? your dad should've back handed you.

>>33245634
There were many factors at play
>It wasn't free, it was quite expensive
>Furthering your education after the international baccalaureate is very difficult
>It's also pretty useless, you are giving up 2 years basically
>I didn't even knew Japanese at the time, so I would have probably fail every single subject regardless

I decided not to go because I wanted to go to college and it was easier if I stayed on my country.

>>33245278 (OP)

>>33245278 (OP)
You'll never be Japanese

>>33252008
OP never said he has to have his own Japanese heritage. In some ways having Western heritage can be better or worse, and it doesn't prohibit one from enjoying other cultures. Cultures also move across regional lines. For example, much of Japanese culture was influenced by China and the West.

>>33245278 (OP)
It sounds like you're admitting to some pure envy, that you hate people who have things you want for yourself. Understanding this thing about yourself will successfully disarm it. The question is do you build a life from here?

>>33252008
And Indians will never be Canadians
What's your point?

>>33245278 (OP)
The first thing you can realize is that you are not unique in your envy of others. If you described yourself objectively (LITERALLY objectively - inarguable things about yourself) I could explain to you succinctly what people would envy you for

>>33252039
Depends, I'm American so can't speak on Canada, but ethnic Indians who grew up in America are treated as any other American by everyone. They're well integrated anyway. This is because they grew up there.

But if you move to Japan to be with your Japanese waifu then they're right, you'll never be Japanese. Even if you can speak the language, you'll always be considered an outsider.