>socially retarded and don't have many friends
>thanks to being terminally online I do have chances to meet people though
>meet a guy playing vidya that somehow turns into a friendship over time thanks to our common interest
>he even introduces and invites me to hang out with his gf and other friends
>never really connect with the rest of the group like I did with him
>he's the only "friend" in the group, the rest are just cordial acquaintances with whom I can't get closer
>never talk or hang out with the others one on one or without the friend present, but still like them and am comfortable hanging with the group as a whole
>tldr he's the glue that ties me to the group

>this goes on for months
>sometimes I get asked to hang, sometimes I get excluded
>even with attempts to chart and log things to make sense in my head I can't find consistencies, only draw speculation from the patterns
>and even after months I'm no closer to the rest of the group, and just feel held at arms length and the odd one out
>even still having friends is nice and not having them sucks
>if I don't get invited on times I really would like to, I just seethe internally while they are off having fun
>starting to affect my mental and too autistic to know what I'm doing right or wrong, and why I can't get further with the rest of them
>time I spend with the main friend has also diminished greatly since he's almost always with his gf
>don't want to cut ties and lose them, but its hurting a lot to keep them too
>don't even know if I'd find another group I fit more with, but I'm still tempted to try because I feel like I've reached the furthest I'll ever go with this group

What do I make of this?
Part of me wants to tell him/them its just not working for me and I can't with all the random inclusion/exclusion.
Part of me wants to try and get better coping with the exclusion and enjoying the inclusion. But I don't hate myself enough to let me be taken advantage either.
I'm at a loss.

>>33262735 (OP)
Even "normies" can sometimes misread social signals. From the outside, shyness or social awkwardness can look a lot like aloofness. If you don't sometimes reach out to them - if you are never the guy who says "Let's all do X this weekend" - then they can get the idea that YOU don't like being with THEM. And then they can think they're doing you a favor by leaving you out.

>>33262735 (OP)
There's this theory that in groups like this there are so-called adders of value and takers of value. The adders of value are the ones who organize most of the socialising in the background e. g. who call everyone, make a reservation, come up with ideas where to go. The takers are the ones who just come along and well, take, what the others have prepared. You are seen as a classic taker of value. You don't add anything. Just sit there and nod, don't even engage the others. Did you e. g. pay for a round of drinks at some point? People will tolerate this for a time but will make no extra effort to include you any further. So, maybe you should add in and suggest an activity or place to go on your own, maybe to your close friend at first, so he can tell the others: "gys, anon asked if we all should go to blabla-sportsbar at nigger blvd, how about that?"

>>33263344
>>33264263
That's actually an interesting way to look at it, and one I hadn't considered. I absolutely never ask anyone to do anything, period. And I'd most definitely be considered "a taker" in the context of this group (and I'd think all but my main friend, the giver, would be considered takers as well to my knoweldge).

The reason or way I looked at this was very different though. From my perspective I was so happy and grateful for any time I was given to spend with my friend or the group whenever I'd get invited. And never wanted to over-impose myself or make myself present when perhaps they wanted me not to be there. Like how the person always begging to be included gets annoying at a point, so by not begging and just taking the chances I'm given I wouldn't be seen that way.
In a weird way (without even knowing about the giver/taker theory prior) my way of "giving" to the group was by minimizing how much I actually "take" (intentionally or otherwise). Being reliable to be called on if they need an extra body for something, but never attempting to force my way into an activity I wasn't asked to be a part of.

>>33262735 (OP)
I won't read calibration help with what is normal threads posted by formulaic, subhuman, autistic retards.