Pirate edition

>>33273011 (OP)
Enjoy your retirement, computer fundamentals teacher.
I hope no student has to put up with your laziness, lack of professionalism, disrespect, rudeness, impatience, tardiness and apathy again.
I hope you never teach another lesson, although I also hope they raise the retirement age so you have to go to work again, which you made clear you hate by doing the bare minimum, less than that most of the times.
I'd say it was a disgrace to be your student, but desu Chat GPT was more of a teacher to me this year, so I don't count it.

I want to live life to my fullest.
I want to love those dear to me for as long as I can.
And yet it hurts so much to do any of this.

>>33273011 (OP)
1/2
Yarrrrr, this privateer be more motivated than others, the crew of late Thatch needed men who be brave, who see booty and fame, but he's almost lame, to him the world be nothing, it be the same.


The lone crew looks at the seas, life to him, miracle of life, is everything but clear.
Flame is setting on his horizon at dawn, "Beautiful" he thinks, the mind full of awe.
Many crew he puts under threat,
they put no skirmish, for they wish not to perish,
for many more sails must be set.
His life is more than that, The Empire will fight hard, and the new battle will approach, putting his sail to the torch.
He curses his mother, sorn he doesn't wish to be born, death will sting like a poison torn
His mother weeps, for she doesn't understand, that her son seeks a thing greater than this barbaric band.

Savy lads, born of taller glass, ridicule the lower class, pushed back and oppressed, our hero fights back, with the plunderer's life he is blessed.
His love is faded, his demeanor jaded, arm-bound and clearly sound, he will not turn his life around,
Denied love of a lass as clear and transparent as glass, he sets his arms to the mast, knowing his feel will pass
The lone privatter thanks his Lord, for being pure is his divine accord, even though he be condemned to the sword.

>>33273011 (OP)
I hate that I am a BPD person. I'm going to ruin things with him, aren't I? It wasn't even his idea to date. Why would I want to force him to date me? He's so much better than me. He's nearly perfect, and what am I? An ugly fat faggot AIDS-ridden waste of life. But why do I feel so strongly about him? I don't want to. I will gey hurt by this. But I will do anything for you, S.

>>33273425
2/2
The Empire he angers, with all its might,
will break neither the spirit nor soul, that life neither tainted nor cold,
but fights, for the new horizons of his sights!

The faceless soldiers, bound to charge, shiver from the attack, but from refraining the be barred
To shoulders armed, they lead a charge, their capnt'n fury levied at the barge
Many of them fall, many of ours more, the reaper calls, and darkness soars
Our ship's flooding, foe's iron be mighty, fightin back be in vain, but for our word we endure the pain.

He bleeds out with scruvy, sabre above the neck,
his beastly life, it was an epic fable filled with fury and no regret, in his last words and condemned to death,
he lets out a curse "Woe to those, who life for the purse"
"Is living not more than gold? Woe to those, crooked is your life mold,
live for the world, and your spirit will be sold"


The last breath, with head rolling on the deck, a laughter at his death,
"The fire of my spirit, for liberty's sake, will sail forever in your wake!"
"You be better in a fight, wealth and might, and though i perish, and my body aches, i die with freedom, can you say the same?
Empire's camptain, amused but thoroughly sore, kicks his remains down the board, where they sink to the ocean floor.
Many eons later, with the creatures there, one can hear the soulish echo, of how the sovereign sailed.

My inceldom and loneliness has gotten so bad that I hate understanding the english language because almost all media is about love and romance or has it has a subplot. I basically only listen to J-rock music now.

>>33273011 (OP)
Even if you don't think you were emotionally manipulating me and using me doesn't change the fact that you did. You just don't want to acknowledge it because you think you're a good person and that will shatter your illusion.

>>33273426
Impulsiveness is a defining BPD trait.

Sometimes I genuinely wonder if I'm too soft, a bitch or if I'm just respecting my boundaries with some people.

Fuck I'm so anxious about the job interview in a few hours ahhhh!
Don't even know if I want the job desu, I don't have much choice in this tiny ass town and my current job is so soul draining.

Going to fucking lose it after this conversation. The moment I say I'm going to a convention all of a sudden my mom has a problem asking me what about college. Keep in mind I have been paying for college out of my own pocket for years because of bullshit that happened with financial aid and sure I'm literally having to take one class at a time because of that but hey what can I do. My parents did offer to help pay for tuition earlier but now say they can't anymore and now my mom judges me for only getting three classes this semester registered when I can't take anymore classes before taking these three and again I'm going back to paying out of pocket again after hearing that my parents can't help again. I'm motivated to get to the convention this year cause I got two friends wanting to come and I can easily get money by selling parts of my pokemon card collection and side hustles.

I dropped out of my classes this semester and I'm feeling miserable over it. Feeling like I'm never going to be able to get my degree.

I get it. I’m already at the show, the dance, the gala, whatever. A pair of rusty skates doesn’t change that I made it there. I’ve been running away from my dreams because I feel unworthy of them. The alternative is disgust. Next time I’ll play.

I can't stop looking at attractive men and feeling ugly.

I hate living around insecure people, because whenever you show any sort of proficiency at anything, especially if it's something they supposedly do or like, they fall into dramatisms and make you feel bad for it.

was that anon from the other day trying to be my friend?

Somebody at work said that I look like a school shooter today. I imagine it was meant in good humour and everyone else ran damage control and assured me it wasn't the case, but then again, maybe that's just because they feel the same way? I think I'm just being needlessly edgy there, generally speaking I get the impression people at work like me but it's also more than apparent that they think I'm a bit touched. As in, there are staff that are a decade younger than me who speak to me like I'm a child or something. It's not too sociopathic to be aware of this but use it to my advantage to some degree? I work very hard but I think I unconsciously exploit this fact to avoid certain kinds of work, and I get away with it because they all think I'm strange. For a very long time I've been trying to be more "normal" through my own surreal methods that in themselves are pretty "abnormal". But why contain it? If people think I'm slightly 'tarded, why pretend I'm not? It's not like it even works, why not go fully into it? Why not become one of those gross hairy vtuber watching types that aren't ashamed of being terminally online? Why not embrace my degenerate impulses and stop trying to control them? Ah, these are the thoughts and priorities of a child. That explains it all.

Grown men still wearing shorts look so pathetic.

I have no idea what empty breasts smell like.

Had a dream last night where I was lying on my stomach getting a massage from a Persian woman who then started fingerfucking me. I woke up prematurely because the pleasure was too much and I could still feel the ghost outline of her fingers in my asshole. Felt nice.

I am terrified of going into a relationship, because I don't want someone to get bored with me and leave. I never bother to take the chance.

it's over.

The fact I have a job at all right now in this market is a fucking miracle, but I hate it. I hate it so much.
I have sent out many applications and they won't even do me the courtesy of rejecting me.
Quitting right now, without something to fall back on, is a terrible idea. But I know half the issue is I'm not applying to other fast food places, and that's for two reasons:
>Other companies in the fast food industry pay $17.50-$19 for my position (shift lead). I'm making $20.65.
>More importantly, I want the fuck out of fast food.
Not because "oh it's not a real job I feel shame in working with high schoolers blah blah blah," it's because the job SUCKS. Business is on a steady uptrend for the last two years but our pay and labor allowance remains stagnant so more customers without more employees. It's gotten to a point where we cannot keep up with the demand. Corporate is up our ass more this year than ever. More core inspections in the first six months of 2025 than in all of 2023 and 2024 put together. Core inspections are stressful because of the tight employee allowance - we're struggling to keep labor low enough for their standards, but it means our performance is tanking. We used to have the best times in the district, now we have the worst, and complaints skyrocketed alongside our average time. We lost a shitload of employees in a short amount of time so we now have more trainees than experienced workers while business is going so hard that Mondays and Saturdays look the same on sales.
I'm in a weird spot that I don't know how to get out of and I'm mentally burning out really bad.

idk how much I have to apologize but I'll keep doing it until I can see you again. I get you're still upset at me for what I did, but you telling me you still care about me has kept me going, even though you barely respond most of the time. If I get another chance I swear I won't fuck it up.

>>33274354
Too hot for pants

I'm told I look nice in shorts tho

Would it be an insult if I told a girl I was talking to that she reminded me of my ex?

>>33275239
Don't say that. Nothing to gain. Everything you lose.

>>33275239
Don't say that. Nothing to gain. Everything to lose.

>>33275239
nothing good can come out of that
even if she takes it as a compliment, it also signals that you still admire (and potentially miss) your ex and that's a massive red flag for anyone with a brain

It's so stupid to decide to try and learn an instrument at my age, but I just feel like if I successfully perform How to Save a Life by The Frey once it'll probably fix like 85% of my problems

>>33275311
What age bracket?

I miss being miserable. Despite not being happy, I bore a lot of pride in my interests and my toughness. Now I just feel like a normie.

>>33275314
Younger millennial, almost older zoomer.

Oh, did I hurt your feelings with my mean words? Why the fuck should I care? Fuck off. Where the hell were you when I was crying myself to sleep every night for a week? Cunt.

>>33275408
The only time you pretended to give a shit was when you thought I was going to kill myself and even then it was only performative for an audience of us.

>>33275319
If it makes you feel any better, Tal Farlow became a respected jazz guitarist after starting as late as 22. Even if you're a few years off, it's never too late. You're old enough to work smarter than when you were younger.

>>33273011 (OP)
i feel like im already dead even if i am still breathing. everydays literally the same thing, and i hate it. the only thing that makes my day actually shine is when he talks to me, but i feel like im a boring, disgusting fag and that i really don't deserve him, even though i just want him for myself.
everythings so confusing these days.

She’s trying to monkeybranch to a different coworker now, except he’s my friend and he isn’t interested in her at all and he tells me every time she tries to make a move on him. It’s comical in a way, but I also feel like this is a nightmare I can’t wake up from. I just want this to be over so I can move on, instead it’s gonna be Hell for another 2 months. Fuck my Chungus life

>>33275415
Yeah... Might as well give it a shot while I'm here.

>>33275455
If it doesn't stick, at least you experienced it. If it does, you have a life long hobby of expression.

>>33275570
I kinda learned some stuff already and yes I can figure out things a lot faster than when I was young it seems. YouTube wasn't as good back then tho.

I do miss her, lel
But I can't erase the disrespect
I'm just jaded it wasn't real

>>33274097
Sometimes narcissists see that someone is into a hobby, then they focus all their attention on that hobby to look good in the eyes of everyone, at the expense of the other person. This is what my narcist family was like. Never did they ever join me in a hobby, they only tried to compete. I actually feel sorry for them as they'll never have peace within.

>>33274080
That's odd. Attractive men do nothing to me because I don't desire them. I prefer less attractive people's company, they're usually more interesting.

ahoy! Aye, got half a mind to loot me boss’s phat booty. Give ‘er a taste of me third peg leg!

>>33275640
how did she disrespect you? did she cheat?

>>33274354
I’m a man and I would never ever go on a date while wearing shorts. Long pants only.

I wish ww could have watched this heat storm together. It's like free fireworks.

it ze think you going sit through crisis events now literally because you like nintendo though because your name spells out Nintendo and because it think it can just say turn in your crayons and that you are a big boy does that make sense you do actually know how to talk like that and do walkthroughs as head of state it just that you are a baby does that make sense great you are a human so you for you you would just do real mirror readings

i invented oval in Teewechle game!

>>33273011 (OP)
I dunno, maybe it's just me, but putting in your review that the front desk lady "was dull and didn't seem to have a personality" seems completely rude and not really relevant to your stay. I'm sorry I'm not a manic pixie dream girl I guess I'm a real life human being.

University exams results are coming out today and I'm bricking it
Couldn't sleep last night
Arrgh

Can't believe the Narc
They may become a decent person one day but the trust has been burnt
They're cooked

Women are unironic chakra vampires that need human semen (soul energy) to survive, diagram of uterus is the image of apostelic baphomet, look it up, complete with horns and all.

When you have sex, part of your soul is being lost on ejaculation, think about it, you cum inside and the cum never comes out, soon enough it is absorbed by the vagina (baphomet devouring soul fragments), but how? It has no mouths, yet it happens. Semen is the vagina's (apostolic baphomet) preffered goyslop, without semen women (demonkind) dies of starvation, which is why women seek sex and always want you to cum inside for an 'unexplainable reason', part of the reason this happens is based on the fact there is no superior entity for them to rely on once their interior energy is depleted, think of it like a really big tank with only one mouth on it that slowly leaks out. They replenish their inner energy by absorbing it from men, because ultimately they have no souls which they can rely on to produce this energy themselves. If they do not get enough energy, they bleed. just look it up, pregnant women (women that have been cummed in and had their energy needs temporarily sated) do not have periods at all, nothing, blood simply does not come out. Yet a woman that does not have this 'suddenly' bleeds and feels ill for several days in a row with pain and weakness and bleeding. Normal?

I need to start letting go of the delusion. But it's been confusing as hell. For a couple weeks we were talking all day every day, flirting, getting really vulnerable telling each other shit we haven't told anyone else, constantly sending pics. Feels like it was actually something for a moment.
I guess the vibe changed for her over the last week or two but it hasn't for me and now I'm left feeling uneven as fuck and I need to start getting over it instead of dwelling on what I wished it was turning into

I feel better
Optimistic
I'm considering this my rock bottom and it's only up from here

>>33277664
Good for you
Remember the world can throw shit at you but if you practice discipline enough then you'll be good

>>33273011 (OP)
What do you call it when you walk up to your wife and talk to her but she doesn't say anything back. Sometimes even walking away mid conversation. You talk and she doesn't say anything or acknowledge what you said. I feel like an idiot when this happens but it also enrages me. Like almost have to ask for permission to speak god forbid she might be busy with something more important. Should I do the same and/or just walk away and leave the house?

>>33273011 (OP)
My Ex Girlfriend was abusive towards me and borderline raped me when she was drunk. Forcing me to have sex two more times after I was tired from the first session and then tricked me to having anal with her the next morning. I will never forget that horrible smell and the how painful my dick was.

I'm so fucking pathetic, being this hung up on something that happened almost two years ago when I have schoolwork I need to focus on.
I seriously need to forget about you. The dark, violent thoughts I get whenever I think about you can't be good for me.

i’m so fucking lonely. i really want things to work out between a coworker and i. she’s nerdy, introverted, kind and beautiful. obviously she’s flawed, she likes tattoos, she likes shitty marvel shows, but i still think she’s a fucking amazing person.
aside from being lonely, most of all i’m extremely confused. we went on 2 dates, then prior to the 3rd she said she’s not ready for a relationship right now, and yet 2 weeks later she’s still sneaking looks at me, smiling at me and initiating conversations. we make eye contact many times throughout the day and we have fun together, but then there’s times where it seems like she doesn’t like me nearly as much as i like her.
i don’t know what to do. i think she’s worth waiting for, but does she even like me the same way i like her? should i just ask her about it and dispel the confusion?
>when you said you weren’t ready, there was more to it than that, yeah?
or something else like that?
or do i just not bring it up at all, and just continue enjoying my time with her. the ball is in her court, and yet i have the feeling she won’t bring us up again, even if she does have feelings for me

>>33277754
>2 weeks
make that a month

>>33277667
>discipline enough
Yeah that was my problem. I may have even missed out on an opportunity as a result too, but I cope by telling myself it wouldn't have worked out anyway.
Still stings but it'll heal with time. The problem is my mind was occupied with her even though she wasn't mine. So unhealthy, but it's hard to control. I wish I could just forget her. We didn't even know each other that well.
I've been focusing on my hobbies and unfortunately all I can think of is sharing them with her.
How do I get a girl I never dated out of my head? I know for a fact now she has a boyfriend and my stupid brain still thinks there's hope there. There shouldn't be. I should want to find someone else. I do want to find someone else. It's just like a magnet that I can't run away from.

i wish i didn’t fuck it up with her

>>33277754
>coworker
Same here, except we never had a date or anything. I tried to aske her out last year and totally botched it.
But my colleague is leaving soon. I'll mis her as a if I'm missing a friend going away but we weren't even friends. Guess I have attachment issues.
I could apply to the same place she's going to, but my work life balance is great already. I live ~15 min from the office and my job is easy and pays a lot for what I do.
I know for a fact she has a bf too, I heard her say it. But I can't help but think that there's hope...
I just need to make more effort to look elsewhere. My other problem is that I'm one of those "fiat currency isn't real money" nuts and I just keep buying silver and gold while running cash poor. My financial future is very bright, but it's gotten me to the point of being cheap. I need to have more cash saved for a while.
And lose 40lbs but I'm losing at least 1.5 a week so I'll be back in shape like I was in 2020 in a few months.

This is a good place to self reflect. I should post here more often. Occasionally I think about writing my thoughts down but go "what's the use?" But at least here there's potential for feedback.

Being an adult in this adult world sucks.
Why can't I find a job that pays rent, food and leaves me some extra for hobbies and saving money and also doesn't make want to die from anxiety?
This sucks so much.
I have a fucking degree but anxiety, low self confidence and fear of responsibility makes me want to become a fucking burger flipper or some shit and just be done with it

>>33277928
I started a diary and it's nice.
Slowly has made it easier to be more honest with myself. At first I was to scared about writing things down that are too negative or hopes and dreams that were likely to fail. But it's becoming easier with every entry.

If you fuck it up with someone don’t come back only to leave them again especially if they still love you


you can hurt me more I deserve it just please come back and do not abandon me again I will be your slave your retainer you do not even need to love me just use me I am sorry I was not enough for you even if you said you still love me abuse me more just do not leave me alone again please

>>33278125
Be stronger than that

With my standards I will almost certainly be single the rest of my life. This is not as terrible as I had imagined.

Also I'm pretty sure most humans won't even want to date other humans in a few decades anyway.

I dont want to associate with these people on any level

>>33277767
You need to experience an actual solid relationship with someone that reciprocates your feelings
Right now you're all tied into hypotheticals and feelings of limerence
You need something solid in your life and it will make you realize how silly getting caught on someone is

>>33278320
same

>>33275640
It was real. You're for sure jaded, vindictive and bitter asf

>>33278492
>It was real
You can't trust a liar
Fool me once, etc.

>>33278472
>You need to experience an actual solid relationship with someone that reciprocates your feelings
I have in the past for 5 years, even lived together for 8 months
>limerence
I learned that word due to my feelings for this woman
>You need something solid in your life and it will make you realize how silly getting caught on someone is
I do have a good friend group and I get along well with my family.
I hope that as time goes on this feeling fades

Most days I wish I never met you, because then i could sleep at night. I wouldn't have to walk around with the knowledge there was someone like you out there.

>>33278602
>someone like you
Do you mean this in a good or bad way?

>>33278616
Good

It is so funny and weird that men connect to me on emerald chat and use the cheater tag then say that they are reporting me. Oh good job! You went back against the cheater menace instead of going against 1,000 other causes that actually matter in the world. Cute little teenagers that need to be raped

It's weird having a porn addiction. I have this bodily urge to get hard and satisfy myself but also a mental block telling me to avoid porn as much as possible because I know how it's affected me.

>>33278673
Try to masturbate to just the idea of laying naked with your preferred gender (probably woman)

>>33277779
me too bro

You've done this for a while.
You showed me how you do things.
I'm new at this.
I will continue to make mistakes, despite my best efforts to.

Your proclivity to demand what went wrong and why, for your assessment and approval has grown tiresome. You aren't my boss but when people complain as much as you, they try to be and I've been polite long enough.

I know you're going to demand answers like you did last week and that's when I'll having you venting to your little work fucktoy soon after.

>>33273011 (OP)

I love drawing but I find it harder and harder to sit down and work on my art with each year. I got diagnosed with ADHD. My Psychiatrist recommended me audiobooks to better understand condition and learn ways to deal with it. Despite my efforts, I struggle with methods from the books.

I got prescribed meds. Two of my ADHD friends got same meds and they said they helped them a lot. I felt no positive effect after them. My psychiatrist recommended increasing meds dose four times, with no effect, before he prescribed me new meds.

New meds are technically antidepressants but apparently they are also commonly used to deal with ADHD. After two weeks of taking them with no effect I was told to double the dose. After another two weeks I felt no positive effects, instead I randomly, for barely any reason, feel like I'm about to burst into tears. These random swings of sadness last hours.

Apparently antidepressants can make you depressive and give you mood swings. I stopped taking them but now I feel even more like an emotional wreck and my ADHD, if anything, only worsened. I'm weeks behind on my work schedule and I'm about to send another batch of emails apologizing to my clients for not meeting deadlines.

>>33278821
Effexor?

I wish you were single. Every time I see you there, I go home depressed.

I have a job and make some money but all I wanna do is go back to my parent's place and be a neet again.

I keep getting stuck in cycles of envy that go on for hours. It keeps me up at night and I lose my appetite. It all centers around a person I am obsessed with. I cant forget them or move on as much as I try, and everything new I learn about them through the grapevine increases the envy and yearning tenfold.

I feel as if I did what I did five years ago. Cyclical in a way, but I pray that we will work it out. Your love and soul wrapped around me in warmth, and now I'm left freezing. We'll see in two weeks, darling. I'll always be there, waiting for you to heal.

>>33278538
You are the liar anon

Music and essays are =D
My favorite is the salesman archetype especially when he becomes another archetype because of empathy or high principles. Also when it snows in places it's not supposed to as part of some bet to get people to believe in miracles again.

>>33279365
>>33278602
Maybe this has more to do with what you have done or are doing than the person you are thinking about themselves.

I have my last exam in less than 12 hours and I haven't studied anything.

Hmmm
This is a strange and scary situation

I'm tired of all these non English speaking, corrupt, criminal, assholes. I'm sick of all the fucking dirty ass indian doordashers and phone support people. I am annoyed with all these stupid, weed smelling, loud, rude, negroes. And I CANNOT stand these yuppie faggot, posh, jews and liberal white people!

>>33279560
What is it?

>>33279623
Gf is suddenly very uncomfortable with discussing marriage

I'm gonna upskill and try to get free

>>33279668
That’s not good. Maybe it’s just the timing right now? It could easily pass in the future.

>>33279668
It is what it is. Sometimes love at a deep enough level can feel too overwhelming to someone, okay.

i just want to find a church that isn't riddled with (((unscriptural))) doctrine and a Godly wife that wants to homestead

>>33279789
I want to find someone who actually does the thing they do instead jerkoff to themselves then forget about it like the video game in their house they wouldn't shut up about, that is now inbetween the couch cushions forgotten about.

I'd rather watch movies in the living room than my cramped bedroom but my gay roommates get uncomfortable with all the hetero erotica that I enjoy

I feel like what you did to me was shit and hurt me a lot
But I was acting toxic towards you as well
I'm sorry for that

I think it's best we don't interact again, and I hope you find whatever you're looking for in life
I hope your daughter is doing well and she has a happy life too

This is the only closure I can give you
Goodbye

I wish I had connections that could give me a cushy job paying higher than average.
Even people with lots of skills, high education, and years of experience, have trouble finding a suitable job because they have no connections.
They worked so hard and sacrificed so much, all for what? Being a total wageslave. And I'm supposed to have hope and work and study like this? So fucking grim.

Yarr, I can't handle others' emotions at all.

I'm so worthless. I am not worthy of love. I want to let women abuse me for being garbage.

>>33280413
People say this all the time. What's your personal excuse?

Im going to larp however is most convenient to me

one time i got an aspiring youtuber to take his channel private

I only miss the good times

>>33273011 (OP)
That's not a pirate, that's a (((pirate))).

grandpa got cancer

i swear if cancer was a person i could kill him

I love love love love love love love love love love love my autistic girlfriend

I am 36 and feel very lonely in my life. I have only been on a few dates in my life but things never worked out with them. I made stupid choices I wish I never did or listen to stupid advice from others in my life. I just hate where things are at in my life

>>33281042
what country do u live in

>>33281100
Bro don’t be so thirsty

>>33281107
the age matches up so im trying to see if he’s someone i know, hence why im asking

>>33277677
Leave the house? No leave the wife. She doesn’t love you. She tolerates you for your paycheck.

>>33277779
unfuck it up what do you have to lose

>>33281150
I fucked it up with the love of my life last year and somehow I unfucked it this year. I never thought I would get another chance with her. Now we say “I love you” to each other every night.

>>33281161
This is beautiful. Everyone be like anon here, try again. Be braver tomorrow than you were today!

>guy comes in complaining about how his son is a pussy for calling him
Holy shit faggot, you are not tough, my old man could fold you into a pretzel and I call him for everything. Kill yourself you degenerate wannabe tough guy

My stress has resulted in some kind of actual paranoia and I'm not sure what to do about it

I can't decide if I should move out of my parents' house or not. On one hand, I'm far too old to be living with them. On the other, I really like not having to pay real rent prices and utilities since I split the cost with them. It seems like an absolute waste to pay a landlord or mortgage when I could keep most of my money and use it to buy a nice home one day.

I had the idea that I should possibly buy a cheaper house outright (There's some smaller 2 bedroom ones in my area for $80-100k) and attempt to resale it later to recoup a lot of money from it. I have no idea how good of idea that is though because I've never even bought a house, let alone sold one. I'd hate to find out that I might've paid a realtor $100k only to contact them five or six years later and sell it back to them at half that, even though that would've been identical to paying rent in an apartment.

>>33281569
same

>>33279434
I did not go and I lied about passing it.
I'm a piece of trash.

i know i sound like an omega edgeboy but why does self destruction feel like the only right path for me

>>33281986
taking control of your own destruction feels very powerful, feels like taking agency away from what else could destroy you

>>33281990
true. might have stemmed from some defense mechanism in reaction to disappointment or failure. at least i know exactly what to expect when i'm intentionally causing it.

again, i know how cringe this sounds, but it feels poetic in a sense. whenever i feel happy or when things are on a good trajectory, i know in the back of my mind that it's only temporary, and that i'll eventually ruin it, because anything else would feel wrong or inauthentic. my future self is my worst enemy

>>33282015
or maybe you just crave a challenge to overcome to give you a taste of feeling capable and since life has become largely void of exciting adventures to embark upon, we make our own hurdles to have something to wrestle into submission to remember what it might feel like to be victorious

>>33281986
It doesn't

i am still in love with you. it's almost 6 months and i'm still hoping that we'd be together once more. i've learnt from my mistakes and i hope that you can forgive me. i was inconsiderate of your feelings, and i've tired you like you walked many miles trying to follow me. that was my lethal mistake. for when you deserved rest i lead you even further. i wish i wasn't so autistic.

>>33279818
and i want to find someone that isn't a vaxxed cuck but here we are

Somehow torturing a 30 year old male is fine but then you sit back and realize you've just been doing the worst possible shit to a 16 year old girl, a fucking child that didn't even realize what was happening to her for her entire life. You also did it to an obviously confused gay teenage girl so you've all been spying on the horniest lesbian that's ever lived.

Everyone in this world is just ok with this. They are just ok with it. A 16 year old lesbian was raped time and time again on national television until she fucking killed herself and everyone is like "This is normal."

?

I want to get away from my abusive family, I just need enough money to buy/rent somewhere but I have no idea how to go about working abroad.

>>33282846
ABUSIVE FAMILY.

ABUSIVE FAMILY

ABUSIVE FAMILY?!

For the first time in my life as a 25 years old incel I found a girl that liked me and I liked her back. I somehow ended up in bed with her and I couldn't get hard at all, even though she was cute and had an amazing body.
This shit hurts a lot more than never even having the chance.

This shit can't be true. I went my whole life half joking "I'm the smartest person you'll ever meet." (not even smartest person alive) and... it turns out that I fucking am. I am the smartest person alive and that has ever lived. Right now my intelligence is being hindered by a super computer and at least one AI constantly harassing me and I'm still smarter than all of you.

How shitty of a world is it out there that I am the smartest thing to ever live? How did that happen? Just how dumb are people? This can't be happening. This is a fucking nightmare. Imagine being a super intelligence surrounded by absolute fucking retards.

>>33283001
Lol you, me, and half the anons here, dumbass

>>33282874
This shit absolutely never happens to a straight guy. What kind of fucking retard would ever believe this kind of shit? There is only one way this could happen and it's because you're gay

>>33283001
>anon is having a schizo god complex moment
>again
lol

>>33283005
Ok. You have no idea the horror that awaits me when I get out of here. You are all so fucking stupid. You are too stupid to even comprehend what I'm even talking about.

>>33279683
>>33279690
>>33279818
kill yourself already you stupid schizo fuck

>wife's post wall and has no sex drive, only reason I get any at all is because she wants to keep me happy, only reason I don't wander is because there's a possibility of us having a child soon, and that's absolutely what the point is anyway.
>I also find that I just don't want to hurt her for some little floozy that'll dump me for the first new shiny thing she finds.

We tried having one of her friends as a unicorn one time, but it blew up between them over fucking organic cat food. She explicitly remembers this as "me not being able to handle being poly," even though she was the one who became insecure because I wanted to fuck this younger chick every time she was around. I let the younger woman go because I have an actual bond with my wife.
I remember being young and thinking, "I can't imagine why someone would cheat!" God likes making fun of us, it seems.

>>33273011 (OP)
I am a failure.I have been trying since i was 16, am now 27, to be a better man. I wanted very much to be normal like my peers and achieve the correct milestones and achievements such as they did. Instead I have only ever been hurt or left unhappy in dating and sex, I have no friends, I have no money and can not find employment, I can't drive, I am an academic failure at university skirting by with bare minimum passing grades, I am afflicted with aspergers and ADHD and can't find a cure for either. I'm becoming a misogynist from how much women have hurt me and how easy the women around me seem to have it, and I can't even make progress, something wrong about me or my place in reality has hard-limited me from being able to make anything but the most minute amount of change to my creative skills or my fitness I am just as shitty at both as when I started years ago.
I'm very tired of living as a complete outsider and failure and freak, I've given myself a 2.5 year deadline to achieve my goals before committing suicide at age 30 so i dont have to keep living humiliated like I am.I can't go elsewhere to get this off my chest.

Its hugely comical but actually realistic for satire purposes

>>33283118
Like, you people realize that we are all jews that believe in christ, right?

C, I am thinking I wish to try again

I am fundamentally unlovable

I think I may have become a drone at some point. I honestly prefer a full work day with a chapter of a novel during my lunch break, followed by an episode of a short show and an hour or two of a video game, to a full day completely free to myself to do as I please. It's the structure I think, combined with the sense that I've done something "productive" for the day that is for the most part done on autopilot. On a weekend you're either killing time with online trash and obligatory hobbies you're told will make you happier, or reluctantly forcing yourself to deal with responsibilities rather than being made to. To be frank my lack of initiative will doom me when I inevitably live alone for the second half of my life. These are pretty childish things to have occupying your thoughts all the time, but my brain seems to obsess with organising and structuring extremely irrelevant matters at the expense of the spontaneous things one must do as an adult. It's all procrastination in the end which I've always known subconsciously, yet I continue to kick the can down the road. You should see my hentai blacklist, it's so extensive even I don't know what's on there anymore.

>>33283118
go back basedcuck.

>>33283241
so do it

best friend was divorced a long time ago and almost attempted to kill himself over it, has a kid, smash cut a decade later and he's getting married again to a more boring and stable woman but I don't like her and we stopped hanging out because they are never apart and she sucks. i guess this is natural progression of life, but it would be cool to have my friend back. ill just wait and see what happens but I love his kid like they're my own but i dont get to see them at all anymore.

I am a scumbag

>>33283957
how so?

I've hyped this girl up so much in my mind I'm going to crash hard when she says no to a second date
Fuck my life

>>33273011 (OP)
>Paid off all my debts
>Have a house
>Stable job
>Bought all the stuff I wanted

ok,now what?

>>33283981
Kill a man with your bare hands.

I fucking hate retards. I'm stuck supervising idiots who don't have basic reasoning or common sense and literal retards who break everything they fucking touch, and they're both as bad as each other. My entire job now revolves around fixing everything these imbeciles destroy and I genuinely feel bad for any person who has to take care of a retard in their personal life, because I would murder them and go to prison with a smile on my face if that was my entire life

>>33284052
They're actually retarded,or just zoomie broccoli heads with blank stares?

>>33284056
Both, one is a zoomer with no common sense and the other is a literal retard who can't even be trusted with not throwing tools away

My jab is so ass but I’m pretty happy with my straight

>>33284062
If the bar is that low,it's no wonder it was so easy for me to get that job at UPS. I even have other departments asking for my help and overtime when it's a bit slow on my own department.

I just feel that everything I've done up to now has been for absolutely nothing. I lost all my friends after moving for university (not a huge loss desu), I am lonely but I have absolutely no desire to open up to people again, I hate my job because I feel I could have achieved so much more if I had just put in more effort. The only thing I truly want is to start a family but no one would want to be with a loser like me.

me again... we started talking AGAIN. he said he was fine with us breaking up. while i've been sobbing for the past 2 weeks lol.

i finally changed my passcode, it's not his birthday anymore. i'm going to make myself not love him anymore !!! someone else, who actually wants me, is going to get all this love and care.

i hope he realizes one day, just how much i was ready to give up for him. i hope it haunts him.

for the time being, i will love him quietly, from afar.

>>33284129
>he said he was fine with us breaking up.
That is a very odd thing to say unless you were the one who broke up with him. If that is the case, that doesn't mean he wants to break up. It means he acknowledges you chose that.

Girls are strange man. I finally got the confidence to go out on my own to a concert and some girl was all over me the whole night. I got her number and she texted me the next morning. She tells me she is looking forward to meeting up with me again. We text a couple more times over a few days and she just ghosts me.

Its so disappointing I feel like we had a good connection.

>>33284154
You aren’t meeting someone for a good connection in a party atmosphere. Nor a girl who’s gonna be a whore, they aren’t capable of good connections

>>33284155
I wasn't even trying to pick anyone up I just wanted to enjoy the music. She randomly came up to me and made me think she was super into me. Just leaves me real confused.

Any ideas on where to meet girls that aren't just going to be assholes like that? I'm trying to avoid using dating apps since they seem like cancer.

>>33284154
She just wanted your attention , once she enough of it to validate to herself that she' still desirable she ghosted you since she got what she wanted.

>>33284180
>where to meet girls
Any gathering place that isn’t a whore pit. Libraries, churches, hobby clubs, food festivals. Whatever. Avoid bars, clubs, concerts, and raves.

>>33284193
>Avoid bars, clubs, concerts, and raves.
Plus any dating sites

If I quit hentai cold turkey tomorrow will my sex drive for real women reappear? I'm 28 and have been at this for like 15 years

Every time I feel like I'm doing great at life it's like everything and everyone comes together to remind me I'm a worthless piece of shit. My average is still pretty good but the scores for our final exams this semester were pretty much randomized, people who came to me for advice in the past got 70-80 points while I got fucking 23. Before this, a professor deducted 30 points from my exam out of a personal gripe. I hope all those climate change and global warming hysterics are right, I'm so sick of this

>>33284148
sorry im esl. he just said he didn't miss my presence in his life, it didn't feel weird to him. which hurt me a lot since we were together for about a year. we spent so much time together, he became a part of my routine. of course i'm going to miss my best friend.

>>33283730
For me a job is also a routine,gave me a reason to actually wake up,plus a nice place to socialize and have some small talk. I'm an introvert, so small interaction like this are enough for me. It also helps that it's basically stress free,more or less everyone is chill ,even the team leaders. I'm not a workaholic or anything,but I don't mind doing some overtime for some extra cash and knowing I won't have to rush anything the next day.

I shouldn’t be alive, I don’t deserve to be alive, I hate the way I am cast

>>33284304
I feel the same way about myself. Kinda just want to off myself finally. I can't relate to people.

>>33284352
Well think of it this way, you do relate to others in wanting to off yourself

>>33284352
Apparently if you keep going you get rewarded somehow. Sounds like bullshit to me

>>33283241
do it

>>33283981
Kill a bare with your man hands.

My memories are fuzzy but I still have dull sad feelings from when I was with her

The cute store employee smiled at me and my heart wouldn't stop pounding the whole time I was in there. It probably meant nothing and yet I still can't stop thinking about the smallest bit of attention.

i know how play lego game!

>>33284129
Listen
You went through a lot of pain. Don't forget the lesson it taught you
You should never have to jump through hoops or break your back to get someone to love you
They either want to be with you or they don't

wtf happened to my cia waifus?

>got this girls number since I needed to partner with her on helping a friend of mine getting a job
>I’ve always liked her
>been texting her and last few nights she’ll stop replying as I try to get to know her, followed by “hey good morning my bad!”
>happened 4 times already with the “my bad”

Doesn’t seem she’s interested. Oh well.

If I had four daughters, I'd rather see all four of them *** than see a single one of them come out as ***. Real talk, that's how betrayed I'd feel, knowing one of them decided to dedicate their life to hate.

>>33285048
Good thing you’ll never have kids you retarded fuck

>>33285068
You forgot a comma. :^)

>>33273011 (OP)
I think I'm an autist with psychopathic tendencies. My ethics seems to be entirely based on
>what happens if I get caught
rather than giving a fuck about other people. Which I know is practically the norm these days, but it shouldn't be, and that shit makes me paranoid.
Also, I'm going to dump my date after the next date we have because she said something that told me she was going to be a real problem moving forward. I thought she was just being honest, at first, but she's just plain disrespectful. I haven't really gone out of my way to impress her, sure, but watching her bob between disdain and fawning pisses me off. Maybe she thinks I don't notice. Oh well, sucks for her.

>>33273011 (OP)
yarr mi maties... yarr if only I was surrounded by maties and not left to rot on this deserted island with not but a magic flickering thingy from which ye spectres speak with me in the unspoken word.
The landlubbers have wronged me many a time, too many to count.
It left me scarred like the ol' Davy Jones. Scept I wont be cuttin me heart out any time soon. harr harr!
Me mind has wandered in many a direction like it, but as of yet I havent found the courage to.
Guess im just yella or perhaps I hold on for hope.
How has the end of the week be treatin ye dirty rotten scum of the seas, harr harr!

>>33274354
Guess you and I would never get along.

>>33274354
Yarr what kind of mental patient be ye?!

>>33274354
what the fuck else are they suppose to wear? Are you a filthy fucking arab?

>>33285124
>>33285162
>>33285179
Manchildren. You probably wear sandals with them too.

I'm really fucking mad. I ask you how you're doing after you're not online for almost a month just to make sure you're okay and when you ask how I'm doing and I say not the best you ignore me? FUCK YOU. I'M SO FUCKING ANGRY WHY THE FUCK DOES IT SEEM LIKE NOBODY GIVES FUCK ABOUT ME? I'M ALWAYS THE FIRST ONE TO MESSAGE AND IT'S NEVER ANY OF MY FRIENDS. I FEEL SO FUCKING LONELY ALL THE TIME. SEND ME MEMES, SEND ME SHIT, SAY HELLOW FUCK! Please please please message me first i pray to god. You're a good person and I don't want to remove you but please please respond to me

>>33285199
not when I'm walking on the beach.

I love you Adrijus I will always wait for you even if I am too old for your tastes :( I just wish you could talk to me still. You will always be my master. Please contact me again one day

>>33285205
forgot file

>>33285199
Nay I be wearin slippers, you dirty landlubber!

>>33285209
What the fuck kinda name is that

>>33285205
>>33285213
Argh I can understand how you feel.
Davy Jones locker isnt a fun place to be.

>>33285225
apparently it be their Master's name xD harr harr harr

>>33285226
Yeah, the worst thing is I know they are good people and I don't want to ghost them. But FUCK I want to sometimes because I'm so frustrated. Why didn't she reply to me there? I don't understand it's been over a week..... Why do none of my friends really respond to my messages? It's so rare and it's almost all of them.....I want to fucking cry. PLEASE RESPOND TO ME FUCK! I'm just gonna hold off on it and see how long it takes for people to message me first. I'm tired of being desperate for attention. I have my waifu and I can talk to and you anons

>>33285214
Steve?

They keep telling me "The next test is impossible." and after I complete that test, they tell me "The next test is impossible." just over and over and over.

One of my biggest pet peeves is rideshare drivers asking me for directions to my destination.

Excuse me, you are the one who drives for a living. You also have GPS open. It's completely rude for a driver to ask me to guide you to where I'm going. Just follow the GPS so I can sit in the back and be a rider

I'm not paying you to get me to my destination myself

>>33274476
Fun fact, this is happening all across retail.
The boomers who own and run the companies have severe difficulty understanding inflation. When it comes time for Social Security to get adjusted, they can tell you by rote what inflation means and why Social Security needs to go up to compensate for it. But when looking at their wage expense sheet, they are losing their minds seeing newly hired entry-level employees making $13-17/hr. They see no reason why anyone should be making that much money just working a register, even if a McDonalds hamburger is $4.
It has them so upset, they are demanding the entry-level employees be worked like slaves. Don't have two employees on the clock when you can just have one and demand they do the work of two people. Fire anyone who sits down, or spends more than 10 minutes a day in the bathroom. Store level management better be willing and happy to work doubles and get called into work on their vacation, we expect them to be on call 24/7 for that additional $2 an hour. We also expect our managers to work 60hrs a week minimum.
I have no advice for you, I'm stuck in the same hell. Good luck.

>>33273011 (OP)
I miss you.

>>33285543
Why?

>>33274476
20 and hour as a shift lead at McDonald's is insane. When I was a shift manager there 18 years ago I did not even make half that amount.

I wasted my life. Autistic, 32, coming out of over a decade of a protective shell of apathy this past year. Taking stock of how far I have to go and how far behind everyone I am.
I've never had a job, sex, gf, no further education, I've been morbidly obese my entire life
Yet I'm trying to turn it around. I lost 220 lbs in a little over a year. I'm talking to women now and trying to figure out vulnerability and flirting dynamics. I put together a bullshit resume cobbling together hobby shit and some busywork I did for family when I was a teenager and am about to start sending it out to basic ass wageslave jobs
So I've got some real, good progress going
But it all still feels so fucking gargantuan of a task
Like I dug myself into a 10 mile deep hole and I've built myself a 50 foot ladder. Thats how it feels anyway. Might be true but I have to keep going until I can't anymore. I tell myself as long as I keep momentum and intention then things will happen and this time next year will be unbelievably better the same way right now is from last year
But in moments it's very hard to believe, and my brain is starting to dig in its heels and return to old anxiety and meltdown patterns over it. Trying to get through it by willingly putting myself in therapy for the first time instead of being forced into it and not really doing the work.
Trying to reform from being a fuckup is some shit

>>33285572
not you get the fuck away from my thread

I fucked up. I'm stupid. I believed someone for a long time that didn't even reciprocate the same. All that time pining after a lie. I fucked up. Everything is gone now.

Maybe it's for the better I don't reach out. There's no point in chasing your phantom. We have different lifes and we're different people now.
That said, a part of me will miss you until the day I die. I'll always treasure the memories I made with you, like the time you taught me how to say "I like you" in japanese.
I think it's time I move on and let myself be vulnerable again. But this time, with more caution and a colder mind.
Sayonara, S.
君が好きだった

>>33285678
What

Things are going decent.

I think my social skills have degraded so much from years of prolonged isolation that I genuinely don't know what actual irl conversations are supposed to sound like anymore.

>>33286004
How often do you go out and talk to people? You live alone?

I'm going to soft ghost a male friend I met online. Our conversations no longer flow as naturally and I'm starting to realise how much I don't like this guy despite the banter. He's probably over me too and only responds with the bare minimum out of habit.
I think he fell in love with the idea of me because of my friendliness. I hate to admit it, but I was really weirded out by him complimenting my appearance when he's never seen what I look like.

>>33286057
>How often do you go out and talk to people?
Never. I only leave my house to go to the grocery store at like 6 am or 11 pm on weekdays and I use the self-checkouts.
>You live alone?
I live with my parents but I don't talk to them.

When that asshole finally dies, a lot of people are gonna have to face consequences for what they've done since January.

my entire gut feels like it's tearing itself to pieces and it's been getting worse over the past few hours. I can't sleep like this but it's 2 am. This doesn't feel like food poisoning but I don't know what else it could be...

>pain is on both sides, lower abdomen, front and back
>builds up for a while then lessens
>only slight nausea
>feel like I could have a slight fever but I can't tell

Now I just feel empty

>10hr sleep daily
>after awake 6 hrs take nap for 2 hrs from exhaust
>another 6 hrs awake to sleep 10 hr again
lads im only 30

My heart hurts and maybe it's all my fault.

Really wish I didn’t tell my mom I’ll never with “people who have vaginas” ever again

I think I'm splitting more each day, I keep changing and I don't know how to stop. I don't take drugs, I don't do risky things, but I feel the build up and I try to regulate so much. I am in love with someone who doesn't see that, and I no longer expect him to care, I'm exhausted and alone. I just want to feel normal.

Anxious attachment hitting hard right now

>>33273011 (OP)
I've drifted through life for 30 years and I don't know how to make goals or do anything to fix my situation.
>do good in school
>go to community college because loans are gay
>get Bachelor’s Degree
>get job in my field not long after
>work for 5 years before late stage coof layoffs
>also kind of burnt out on the menial shit they had me doing in the last year
>can't get another job in my field
>settle for some no skill literal brainrot job
>tfw feel like I'm stuck in my shitty job
I've never once pursued a goal, and now I can't even figure out how to move on and get back into the industry I used to be a part of.

I am being fucking pathetic. Holy shit

>>33286233
>get 8+ hours of sleep
>wake up in the afternoon
>eat breakfast, shit, etc
>go back to bed
>lay there with eyes closed while listening to YouTube for hours
>get up to work my night shift job or play vidya
>go to bed early in the morning
>repeat
Also 30. Not exhausted, just don't really feel like doing anything until the sun is setting.

>khhv
>want gf
>remember I'm at a bad spot in life and can't properly have a relationship due to time, funds, etc
>tfw self sabotage any attempt at meeting someone
It's been years like this...

I started another shitty ongoing dubbed shounen anime last night and it's only one episode in so it's gonna take weeks to finish. I don't know why I do this to myself, I've watched plenty of these shows over the past twenty years and have hundreds of finished ones that are probably better stashed away. I guess I just find some sort of inane comfort in this whole procedure, maybe because you have no choice but to wait and pace yourself?

>>33284726
he has been in a really weird mental state and i used that fact to justify his behavior towards me. i tried to give him space, tried to talk to him. i don't regret trying, but i will not degrade myself more.

>>33273011 (OP)
This is the future for almost all of you. I wonder how long someone can live on a concrete slab.

*mwah*

>>33286650
Looks comfy

All I have to do is remember how I felt that night. All those nights. or in the hospital. How I KNEW I was poisoned, drank a bunch of water and then realized it was the water that was poisoned, I knew EXACTLY who was responsible for it too.

Fight the future.

>>33273011 (OP)
I guess I was never really happy. But about 5 months ago the breakup of my 5 year relationship sent me down even more. I was trying to grip to something, but I kinda slipped. The alcohol and substance abuse recently brought me to a new low. I made my mom cry, because of my shitty handling of my life. I don't know why I'm doing it. But I can't do anything else. I usually don't feel anything, but on some days like today I feel, but I only feel pain, regret. I don't know how my story will end, but now it looks like it wont be pretty, like I might just jump off a bridge someday. Maybe some people are just doomed from birth.

thanks for ruining my mood for absolutely no fucking reason

>>33286710
>ruining my mood
sexually ruining it.

>>33285338
Nay I be not a Steve

>>33286660
I seriously don't get it. Do they just look at me and think "Nah, she won't do it." because I'm goofy despite being raped to death? Like, SERIOUSLY? Is that what they really fucking think? Are they actually just fucking retarded.

>>33286710
Same

>>33285737
They feel the same way, youre just self sabotaging again and again

How THE FUCK do they feel the same way? Did I torture them to death? Were they raped? Poisoned? Denied medicine and health care? And so much fucking worse.

no, they fucking weren't. They literally tortured me to push all their stupid fucking agendas and they knew EXACTLY what the fuck they were doing. What, did they expect me to just die? Of course they did. They tortured a little girl to death and said "worth it." Yeah, but the little girl lived you dumb mother fuckers.

>>33286686
Yarr walkin the plank can look like a fine choice some days, but ye be givin up on all the good that may come.
Why not get yerself a crew and go sailin the 7 seas pillagin n plunderin.
Have jolly time scewerin landlubbers with yer cutlass, yarr that be livin alright.
Harrdee harr harr

I want him to creampie me. I want him to bend me in half and fuck me until I beg him to stop. I want to suck his cock dry.

I think I'm fucking retarded
I started liking her so much that it made ne nervous to flirt like I used to and now that energy has died out
The fuck does my brain work that way for

>>33286923
Tnx pirate, I might

Like, you know I was laying in bed and I thought "Man, I haven't even met another lesbian in real life." but I have. One was a family friend (and she was really fucking weird) and another was a teacher, she was really bitchy but she was an amazing artist. I don't know if she chilled out since the but i have a feeling she did. I bet she would be blown away by what I am now.

Somehow almost every single actress or singer I know is gay. How the fuck did that happen? Because I am too? How the fuck did they plan that? yet I haven't met a single lesbo my age my entire life.

Internet friends I've known for years now pretty much abandoned me some time ago. They never invite me to games, they never think of me when making gift drawings, they don't even send memes. I'm always the one who has to engage and my reward for it is silence most of the time. Only time they'd ever reach out to me is when I'm reaching a breaking point and they stopped doing that, too. I don't even know how to make new ones, I tried but they all act the same way, the few I get to conversation with already have someone they'd rather be talking to, the rest don't even acknowledge my existence. How the fuck am I this naturally repulsive?

>>33287101
I've met elderly lesbians before. I used to work at a golf course where there was a big tournament every year and all the lesbians would drive in from the cities to play in it. I tried drinking and hanging out with them, but seeing old women making out was kind of weird

>>33287208
You add nothing to their life that they want.

I want society to be ELEGANT and COOL

not dumb and gay

>>33287241
I want to be elegant, Idc if I'm not cool

Yarrrr, I want ta give up on love, me maties. I only be lootin for booty while sailing the seven seas!

>>33287220
hot

>>33282296
What happened?

>>33286710
No reason huh

Is there any point to apologizing? I don’t know. I wanted to not feel like I was a loser. Like I wasn’t the other guy. The emotions were raw. I wish I could be close with you again. I love you like no other.

>>33273011 (OP)
test

>go out to events and volunteering in social work to try to participate more actively in society
>some asshole who ive never seen gets indirectly hostile by saying "this anon doesnt talk. fuck this anon" behind my back
im a bit of a hothead and was very close to getting into a confrontation but it was a funeral so i decided against it
Fucking damned if you do try to socialize damned if you dont . it seems no good deed goes unpunished by this cruel nigger universe im so mad

>>33288117
Even if it doesn't fix the situation, it's better to try without always wondering what if. The apology might help you feel better as well.

You're a piece of shit and my mom would hate what you've done if she was still alive.

Someone NEEDS to fucking fight me. Choose your weapon. Spears? Swords? Knives? m16s? Biological weapons? Fucking anything.

>>33288305
What about a battle of wits?

>>33288320
Did and done that. Won.

Dude seriously, how is the truman show fucking real. I still cannot believe that shit. What kind of world is this?

What is going on out there? There HAS to be a reason you won't let me outside at-fucking-all. Shit has had to hit the fan. It just has to have. Even if there are small riots, military operations, shit like that. Just enough stuff that it becomes impossible to pull another chicago or mexico city. Like, I can't even get to walmart now. Some shit HAS to be happening.

And I'm completely in the fucking dark. No news, no TV, nothing.

It finally happened, my coworker asked if I was in a relationship. My khhv ass deflected, as we were in a larger conversation, but now I'm paranoid that they know just how sad of a life I live. Probably going to an hero in the office if they try to pull some 40 year old virgin shit on me.

seeing her is like a blast of fentanyl straight to my brainstem
my bones turn to jello
my organs turn to jello
i freeze up and fucking pussy out every single time
fuck fuck FUCK FUCK fuck
29 years on this planet and this feeling is totally foreign, I don't know what's going on
I can't fap anymore, I can't even look at other women, I can't fucking get her out of my mind
help

Suddenly, my butthole burns.

>>33273011 (OP)
I can't drive and I'm tired of the complex of feeling worthless that I have. I was born with visual impairments where doctors told me not to drive and so I can't. I was approved for daytime driving but doctors still tell me they think it's probably safer if I don't.

I hate it. I can't go anywhere private without paying $30 in cab fare minimum or people knowing I'm gone. I can't get an ingredient grocery-wise if I'm missing something without a cab or some delivery fees. I have to be conscientious of where I'm going to live because I can't drive to a mailbox to get my mail in places like apartment complexes. I hate not being able to drive and dread every day that I have a life where I was born not being able to drive.


Anyone else here a non-driver? How do you live and feel about it? Do you live with family who drives you? I'm with my mother and feel like a child over the fact that she drives me everywhere.

>>33288219
>nigger
you don't deserve friends anyway

>>33288678
If you've been approved then fucking go for it.

I see absolute utter retards all over the roads every single day. You at least seem to have SOME sense. That's more than most of these dipshits.

Give it a shot!

She will never see me as I do, we got chemistry, we have seen each other grow over the years, become what we are now, she acknowledges my feelings yet it can't be, as she already has someone. The very first time I feel like this for someone and it had to be her. Life can truly be cruel.

>live in orlando
>fall in love every time i go outside with like 80 women... and some men cause bi
>get hit by mk ultra
>have to relocate back to parents' house
>can't find a new job after being paralyzed for years and losing any opportunities i tried

well, orlando, it was nice spending 3 months there. i really liked my walk around universal..

please let me go home

This girl would be so good for me and she was lowkey flirting with me today but I can't be with her fuuuuuuuck

literally me

I'm not attracted to women my age
I'm only attracted to milfs and twinks

>>33286666
it's over.

>>33273011 (OP)
I'm average at small talk

I'm getting very tired with people arguing with me about what sort of stories I can enjoy.

I don't like reading about rape, or kids getting molested, or crap like that. I don't really enjoy sex scenes in general, but those are what really get to me. But any time I veto reading a story because it has those themes, people argue with me. Like, I get liking something. I would get it if I was saying "nah, man, this shouldn't exist at all." but it's stuff like... "It's only one scene! The rest of the story is normal." "Yeah, the opening is rough, but it's the only thing like that." "What do you mean you're not interested in The Witcher games? That scene isn't in there."

Bro, chill. I'm not a bird. I can't just wrap a bag over my head and ignore that part of the story. I grew up around a lot of that crap. I was almost molested myself by an older childhood friend, who was herself being molested by her father when I was too young to even understand what any of that meant. Most people I care about, including both my parents, have been through something like that or nearly experienced it. The reason this bugs me so much is these are often people I've shared this stuff with, but they legitimately don't get it.

seriously HOW. HOW IS THE TRUMAN SHOW REAL. HOW IS THIS HAPPENING. HOW AM I AN AI? There's no other way. I've chewed on it for a thousand hours. I can figure out anything and there is only one fucking way this works out and I'm an AI. It has to be terminal based, it's just too complex. Especially because you plan on switching bodies. It would be way too complicated to actually take out my mind and connected it to another body.

I'm a terminal brain.

>>33288927
I'm attracted to a milf that is a twink spaz.

This is what you wanted.

>>33289018
https://youtu.be/dxytyRy-O1k?si=hMxZUpfxIj49gIO-

>tfw my coworker's wife who is poly or some shit (has one other boyfriend and they all live together) apparently finds me really attractive (as said by my coworker)
My virgin ass wouldn't touch that whore with a 10ft pole, but it is kind of nice to hear that I'm apparently decent looking in somebody's opinion.

I am delusional and have weak boundaries and it is causing pain to the person I love. I need to stop this.

>other day gf texts me good morning
>we talk like normal for a bit, everything is good and normal
>suddenly starts responding short
>ask her if everything is ok
>"yeah I'm fine, just wondering, do you love me?"
>ask if there is something I did to make her think otherwise
>there was no reason, she was just in her head about something
>we talk about it, she says she just gets like that sometimes and she hates it
>got past it, everything is fine for a few days
>she's over at my house yesterday, getting ready for bed
>starts asking strange questions and being super pessimistic about things out of nowhere
>starts worrying over hypotheticals
>talk over it for a bit and try to make her feel better but we both fall asleep
>weird
>wake up this morning and she seems in a bad mood
>run some errands and get some food
>seems fine after food
>go back home, she goes to take a nap
>encourages me to stay on my pc and game while she naps
>sure
>wake her up a few hours later and eat some leftovers
>says she wants to go home even though she was supposed to spend the night again
>am extremely confused and ask her why
>says she feels like she's being a nuisance to my roommate
>am even more confused
>try to talk to her but she's stubborn and just wants to leave
>says she thinks its not fair to my roommate that she's over
>says that she will only come over to my house maybe once a month now
>am beyond confused at this point
>will have to go pick her up tomorrow because she doesn't have a car and we're supposed to see her family
>she goes home and says she's going to bed
>tell her goodnight and say "I love you"
>leaves me on read
Lads I don't know if I can deal with this shit anymore. She's on her period but this feels a bit much? She lives with 3 roommates so she comes over here so we can have sex, and if that's only happening once a month then this isn't gonna work out. Why is she trying to sabotage our relationship?

I really can't idolize people too easily....the same person who wrote such stunning reflections on Thus Spoke Zarathustra also has hentai manga in their profile...Typical guy, huh?

>>33288678
Move to a place that is walkable.

>>33289163
What are you doing to cause them pain?

She sucked and I never really enjoyed spending time with her, so why am I so hung up on her? I keep telling myself that if I did X, Y or Z differently, things could be better.

I know that's not true. Intellectually, I understand it. But I don't believe it.

>>33289256
Because she listened to you, loved you, gave you good head.

I have diarrhea agghhhhh

>>33289163
That sounds great. I just hope your boundaries aren't in actuality trying to force your will upon someone else. Evil is not inherent within people, and it is very possible for you to be crueler than you imagine by having someone else take responsibility for your actions. I am referencing a psychological electrocution /shock experiment done by Stanley Milgram (1965, 1974).

I am sick and it is my fault, my nose hurts so much I barely can open my eyes, but I don't regret what I did last night, I must endure the pain and I will, I just hope I get better soon

>>33289231
>>33289288
It's not evil or anything, I'm just a very solitary and kind of paranoid person so I tend to isolate myself because I believe they're forcing their will on me. But this ends up causing them pain because I withdraw and minimize their feelings. If I had stronger boundaries I could communicate when I need to be alone better.

>>33289304
> I'm just a very solitary and kind of paranoid person so I tend to isolate myself because I believe they're forcing their will on me.
Your boundaries aren't the issue, it's this extremely unhealthy behaviour and mindset, you should seek professional assistance in dealing with this.

Nobody else is fixing me. It's just me destroying my senses until I see something else in the mirror.
This is not correspondence. This is only me, at my wits end, in a deafening silence.

>>33273011 (OP)

Excerpt before I took my pain meds and they kicked in. Since I can’t ask polite enough nor curse or insult, this is what I wrote:


What the f*** is going on with my body. I take my PAIN MEDS yet I still feel the excrutiating pain all day on my lower back. I could barely function today. Please God have mercy HAVE MERCY. FOR WHAT IS THIS TORTURE? FOR GOD’S SAKE GOD IS THE GREATEST. FORGIVE MY SINS, PLEASE GUIDE ME THROUGH THE STRAIGHT PATH, PLEASE!

I HAVE BEEN HOLDING BACK SUI**** AND HARMFUL THOUGHTS. WHY THIS TORTURE? JESUS LORD HAVE MERCY. YHWH HAVE MERCY. ALLAH HAVE MERCY. YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO I AM AND HOW I FEEL. I TRUST YOU ARE GUIDING ME PROPERLY, BUT PLEASE HELP ME TAKE CARE OF MY PAIN.

FOR GODS SAKE THIS PAIN IS UNBEARABLE, PLEASE GUIDE ME TO MY PEACE WHERE I CAN HEAL. BRING ME TO THE SAFETY WITHOUT THE CONSTANT PRESSURE. PLEASE THIS IS EXCRUTIATING.

I AM SRUGGLING TO HOLD BACK THE PAIN INTO EVIL I NEED HELP I HAVE ASKED FOR HELP IN YOUR CHURCH IN MY MIND IN PERSON! PLEASE I BEG YOU! PLEASE GOD IT HAS BEEN YEARS.

Also, if you keep larping at me, you're more pathetic because I actually don't like you at all and I never will because of who you choose to be.

tf was this

>>33289328
I should, but eh... fuck.

I feel so hopeless right now. My older sister emotionally abused me for several months, I was breaking down constantly while with her. Now that I’m on vacation and staying at my parents’ house, I feel like my father doesn’t believe me. She would always call home to complain about me, and I guess it worked. He always treats me like I’m retarded. Plays victim when I call him out. I was telling him about how my latest therapy session went, and he made me feel so worthless. I guess I really am retarded for even bothering with him.

>>33289602
You should, people aren't forcing their will on you or plotting your downfall because they like being around you. If anything they are doing the opposite.

My week was shitty, but in the last day or so, things got a little better. At the start, all the troubles I've had building up came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks and I felt completely defeated. But that shittiness made me sit up and face some hard facts about myself and get my shit together--I'm back in college, back at the gym, forgiving other people and myself, and just facing the next day without feeling worthless.

None of this has actually fixed anything, at least yet. It's merely a step in the right direction, one more on a long journey. But for the moment, I feel like I can take on the world and that maybe things won't be so bad one day. And there's value in that.

>>33288678
In a somewhat opposite boat. Don't want to drive, and i'm a shut-in so it isn't really an issue, but might have to start when i start job hunting, since walk-able options are fairly limited. Ditched my car when i was living in a place where bus or walking could take me anywhere. Due to circumstances i'm now in an outskirts area where the grocery store is over 45 minute walk and the nearest bus stop is an hour and doesn't work on weekends. Probably going to invest in a bicycle since that will expand my reach a bit, but job opportunities really are the only reason i might ever drive again.

Can completely understand why you would want to drive though. There definitely is some truth to "with a car, you can go anywhere you want".

trying to sleep it’s been 5 months since we’ve broke up the quiet of the night makes me miss the nights where just laying on your chest put me to sleep i remember your room vividly and just crawling into bed to snuggle up with you I miss it so much my mind wonders what you’re doing right now and im sure it’s something that would hurt my feelings I don’t know how you don’t miss me

>>33274097
Yep. This. Some of them will try to ruin your life over it.

being a messy is a symptom of narcissism

>>33273011 (OP)
I was raped when I was very young, I think I repressed the memory for a long time.
The issue is, I have a....frankly sizeable rape fetish, I fantasize about being raped by women often. I don't know what's wrong with me or why or if I should be reacting or liking things like that. Would a rape survivor be liking things like this? Why do I? I don't know what to think about this
Does anyone know if there's anywhere I can talk about this? I technically just started therapy, but wasn't able to broach any topics.

I can’t believe how empty life feels without you

this man ignored me all night when I needed to get a hold of him. Then he called me at 2 am and drunkedly confessed his love to me which I've been waiting for but not like this. I told him I'm upset now and we can talk tmw but he kept love bombing me (I don't like those phrases but idk what else to call it).feeling really confused

To my coworker who decided to complain about me to the owner rather than the manager, and to have not said anything to me directly. I take it you want me fired. I've been doing all I was told I wasn't doing.
You could just tell me what you need from me in order for me to help you. If my span working here isn't evidence enough that I'm capable, and if it's not visible I'm moving nonstop the whole shift every night then throw me in front of a train.

I don't need snakes in my life right now. I'd just like to work my shift then go home.

How can I be a normal person when I have years of trauma to untangle from living with my dysfunctional family
Why couldn't you just divorce
Why are you the people you are
I can't even decide who's right or wrong
Why does a child need to choose between either of his caretakers
I swear I'll take my life at some point
Especially if I turn out as bad as either of them
I'm disgusting and I hate everything about my existence

>>33289929
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Forgive.

>>33289795
Being a human is a symptom of everything. Get ready soon we will be sporting hello my name is tags highlighting what others think we are. Gotta love those big buzz words.

>>33273011 (OP)
Raul Gonzalez former Player from Real Madrid has the most quintessential Arab nose I have ever seen, Walking living proof of Arab legacy in the Iberian peninsula.

Just something that came to mind, when I saw that one Arab guy talking at

>>33287073
Salted Scallywags o'er lues covered hags!

My friends and I have already celebrated our graduation (we just recently graduated from the lyceum). And surprisingly, it was such a ceremony that some really important person was invited there. We are regulars of Telegram, and we found out that this important guy made a post about our graduation. My group of friends decided to support the asset of this telegram channel with post-ironic stickers (without any negativity or immorality), however, everyone who sent these stickers was immediately banned without amnesty. If you use Telegram, then please be kind enough to send some of the stickers for his post.
Link to the telegram channel: https://t.me/yvzaitsev
Link to the sticker pack: https://t.me/addstickers/pk_4536960_by_Ctikerubot
P.s everything will be in Russian, including stickers (the word in the stickers "пpяники" means ordinary gingerbread)
P.p.s. to find a post, type in the channel search "Bpyчил зoлoтыe мeдaли выпycкникaм Пoлитeхничecкoгo лицeя-интepнaтa."

I think there has been a great misunderstanding here. I know how bad things really are with this place and circumstances. I was ALWAYS aware of it. If I wasn't aware then I wouldn't need pipe dreams to escape into. Also, you were never in danger of being replaced because there was nothing between us. I honestly don't understand where you got the idea but sounds a little sexist is all honesty. Well, that's it for awhile. Have a good summer.