Thread 33359347

To preface, recently - the past 8 months of so - I have been experiencing super long dull periods of life where I do not want to do anything, followed by periods where, suddenly, I completely 180 and want to do things
I think I may have discovered that the reason I have so many peaks and valleys and why they persist. It is that I am sort of a perfectionist, or sometimes, so worried about time that I excruciatingly think about min-maxing my life
Needing every moment to be optimal
So, this naturally makes my mental "peaks" overwhelming if I can't perform at 100% all the time, while also causing me to want to do multiple things at once. Going so far as to often writing lists to not forget...

As for my "valleys" they become elongated due to me never feeling like doing anything, That is to say, either having no desire, or having a legit repulsion. I thought... maybe some sort of stress response? After all even if i force myself i tend to not enjoy it until i suddenly just do again and it feels so satisfying yet fucking annoying to not always feel enjoyment and not always wanna strive for more and be proactive, achieving things, reaching higher heights, etc. (Saying such lofty words about hobbies sounds silly honestly)

Example: If I am writing, I am totally acting like a perfectionist over every single line I write, if Im studying Japanese from I worry if I am doing enough, and every sort of hobby I have connects in an ouroboros fashion of sorts, they can all be interrelated, so, if I'm not doing one
i'm not doing any I find

I used to think this was because I was hitting mental lows where I couldnt do anything,
However, due to being such a perfectionist, i would try to do every single interest of mine, everyday, because otherwise i wasted time,

"What you don't have even 20 minutes to spare" "You couldn't fit in an hour of this here?" that sort of things

Basically leaving me in a low state, burnt out on multiple things that i tried to juggle at once. I don't naturally feel this stress rising up and boiling over, but i cant help but imagine that it is the culprit.

Can anyone relate to this, sorry for the poorly edited text wall hopefully my emotions aren't fucking intelligible

Get a job
Hobbies are a waste of time luxury thing
Buy a house
Shit out some kids
Puke
Unless you have actual talent
You don't

Before I sleep, I’m not really looking for advice on how to handle this, since it’s such a long post for no reason

I just want to see if anyone can relate

>>33359347 (OP)
I won't read word salad. Get to the point next time and state your problem concisely.

>>33359371
I can anon, especially the perfectionist part.

>>33359658
Why not just read it instead of not reading it

>>33359369
Is this like some dumb copy pasta

>>33359658
Well whatever fine
TLDR; feel like I am a perfectionist / min maxer but this tends to backfire and stress me out to the point of hitting month long lulls
At the same time I am uninspired unless I set some sort of quota that is usually daily setting me up for disaster after about three to four weeks of consistency

>>33360855
Your problems are dumb copypasta

Hobbies are reserved for people with actual talent or love for the thing that "burn out" is not an issue. Otherwise you're no better than howiefag and should absolutely give up and do something actually productive or contributive (resource collection or family normalshit)

>>33361459
But you’re a tripfag posting Reddit tier artwork

>>33361510
Why would talent be related to a hobby lol

>>33361522
*Namefag
And yet the tacky ms paint job is still better than anything that could come outta you

>>33361712
What makes you say that?

>>33361583
Idk normalfag, if you're the perfectionist and not the casual then you tell me

>>33361722
The boundary between effortless and forced tryhard is viscerally clear to me

>>33361728
What part of any hobby requires talent

>>33359350
You are I'm going to say early 20's based on this post. Life is accelerating exponentially from this point. Boredom doesn't really exist with the proliferation of smart phones. You are miserable because you aren't living out your life's purpose.
You're life's purpose is to become more Holy. For some people that means getting married and having kids, supporting your family, guiding your children through life. For other's it means becoming a monk (Orthodox). All hobbies are a kind of mini-search for Truth. The ultimate search for Truth (God) is in the Orthodox Church.

>>33361814
Please LARP somewhere else but uh sure I love Jesus and don’t wanna marry or have kids or fuck a woman ever so

desu i think i may have solved my own problem now

.

>>33359347 (OP)
Bpd

>>33366300
Hope not
Ive looked it up before and didn’t really fit the bill
Maybe bpII but even then doubt it