EXCEL IS NOT A DATABASE!!!!!!

>>33380242
kek. good luck anon
>>33380142 (OP)
I'm an alcoholic and it's starting to impact my day-to-day life

>>33380142 (OP)
Hey, bubby, you know that I like it when you call me papi
But it seems like lately, baby, that you've been seeing another chico...

I feel like I'm Drowning lately.

I'm turning 26 in a few days and I have basically nothing to show for it. I work part time, I'm fat, I have no friends, and I only have $200 to my name. Only things keeping me from being a full on loser is the fact that I have a degree, a girlfriend, and I'm 6'5

My dad has fucked his back up really badly but refuses to get proper help for it. My lease is about to end so I know if I ask if I can move in he'd say yes, he has 3 spare rooms and lives closer to the main area my clients are in. This would not only save me on petrol but let me help him out with things because it's normal for someone living their to do stuff, whilst letting him feel he's doing me a favour cause parents take care of their kids no matter how old they are. It's been two decades since we've lived together, I did move interstate a few years back to temp take a room for a few weeks since he had major foot surgery and wasn't legally allowed to drive (the bastard still did cause "it's only down the road to get smokes, didn't want to bother you"). Him and his mum are tough old bastards, she took forever to accept living assistance due to getting her hips replaced.

It sucks feeling so helpless against the unstoppable march of time and the impact it has on your body. All the white people at work sneer at me when I say I'm moving back in with him, acting as if we're all high class millionaires who would never have the horror of being losers living with your parents as if we're not all glorified domestic cleaners and taxis that sometimes do enemas (in-home social support). Fucking stupid.

How can it be that multiple times I've had long conversations with people about all the shared interests we have and how we'd both love to do them more often, and ZERO plans ever eventuate? It's tough, because I generally come into interactions assuming that the other party is just being nice and doesn't want to hang out with me, so I'd never be the one to suggest something, even if I'd like to. But at the same time, am I giving off a vibe of "I don't want to hang out" that's preventing THEM from giving a green light? Or do they just not in fact want to hang out?
But also, if I don't want to hang out with someone, you won't catch me having a long enthusiastic conversation about a shared interest.
And furthermore, I know very well that everyone wants to be invited to shit but no one wants to have to organise it, and it's so fucking hard to figure out if I'm being the group's saving grace willing to take on the burden, or if I'm a fucking pest who can't take a hint when bludgeoned with logistical issues.

I hate people with restrictive eating disorders so much. They are never happy unless everyone around them is miserable. They have insane main character syndrome and our hateful terrible people. They aren't worth any compassion because they see the world through their own venomous lens. Their worst nightmare is going out to dinner and the entire evening not being about what they do or don't eat

I'm a NEET addicted to porn. I have no prospects whatsoever, which makes it even more difficult to quit.
I wish I could do it. I know it's not going to fix my life, but it would make me slightly less miserable to get rid of this terrible addiction.

>>33380312
Only eat within the same 4hour window each day

Gave catberg some catnip and silvervine

My blood tests are once again inconclusive. There's several stuff that is slightly off but nothing that explains why I've been feeling like crap lately

>>33380634
Drink a glass of water real fast

I'm trying to come to terms with some of the things from my childhood, even in middle age they still fuck with me. I never questioned how things were back then, but they weren't normal. I had no supervision or caring parents, I was always on my own. I taught myself how to ride a bike because nobody had time for me, I had to cook my own means from about the age of 12 and on, no support from them at school events or during sports. I had to get rides from other kids and their parents if I wanted to do sports because nobody was ever there for me.

My dad used to physically back me into a corner to verbally berate me, he never touched me yet his body language was so aggressive to me. He'd yell and scream and curse, and all i did to make him that way was stay up late to watch cartoons. Other times, he'd wake me up screaming at me in a drunken rage, over small things. He couldn't find something he was looking for, so it was automatically my fault. Didn't matter if I had school in the morning or that I was his only son. All that mattered was his minor inconvenience. Maybe it isn't the worst childhood that's ever been, but all my siblings got love and support from my parents. With me, I'm the youngest and they were burnt out by the time I was growing up. I haven't spoken to my dad in 15 years and he still hates me. I hear the things he says through my siblings who he does talk to.

I'm finding out now that i fall under the scope of adult children of alcoholics, i have complex emotional trauma and I struggle with harsh self criticisms, which I've had in my head for decades, like an overarching feeling of just being a waste of space since I was a teenager. And it'd weird how that is, I can't just stop criticizing myself because it's wired into my brain at this point. It's as normal to me as emotions are for others.

But I'm trying to change it and be different, i guess I have to find my inner child and become my own parent. I feel like I'm mindfucking myself all over again

>>33380706
Your dad and mom probably had trauma themselves and their parents worse than them, human lives used to be awful. Things are just barely getting good now.

Can you ever get over that one person

I just wanted to be part of a community in the place where I live bros. just insane how soulless life after college can be. Im afraid that I will die early and alone.

>>33380801
A lot of take a long time to heal but still enter relationships, take that as you will. They do see psychologist and or do Journaling therapy workbooks and usually read textbooks that help with their underlying issues

>>33380801
Time unironically. It's more of a challenge to stay in love. Lol. Lmao mayhaps.

>>33380803
Nah but but it gets pretty dark up til midlife but then gets better, and this trajectory can curve faster to your liking if you live below your means to develop some sustainable level of agency and control of your life in this world.

Lesbians ruined my life. I was diagnosed autistic very young and had so many fucking sped accommodations in school. I also had the misfortune of living in a VERY lesbian part of this country. Dykes ran my schools to their every whim. They abused me constantly under the excuse that I was basically retarded. (True for the most part, despite my IQ being tested at about 130.) I already had very little opportunity at the life to which I somehow believed I was entitled, and the fucking dykes did everything in their power to snatch what few threads remained right out from under my feet. As if that wasn't enough, I also had to sit back and watch, helpless, as they brainwashed everyone else at that school into drones of their agenda. This was back in the 00's, so the problem has only become worse and more widespread since.

I hate dykes so fucking much it's unreal. I can't keep a job or function in the outside world because my justified hatred fills me with so much dread and rage. I can't see a therapist about it because they're all dykeoids (and because >American healthcare, but mostly because dykes). Every time I get interested in something that seems to bring me hope and comfort, dykes invade it and ruin it. They're incapable of making anything not all about themselves and their dykeshit. Even my many degenerate kinks can all trace back to lesbian induced childhood trauma. What little social opportunity I have (which is always online only) keeps getting smaller and smaller as I push people away over my uncontrollable rage at all things sapphic. There have been periods of time where I had vivid anxiety attacks about a totalitarian lesbian radfem dystopia every single day.

Even now, as the social pendulum swings back to the right, I can't shake my hatred. I still see their fault in everything and every fault in them. They keep confirming the horrible things I suspected about them all along.

>>33380815 cont
I know, rationally, that I'm on some serious Jewish-space-lasers-tier tinfoil hat schizo shit, yet my fear and anger stay with me all the same. I'm still living exactly where I grew up and this place never fucking changes. My family are all pro-dyke, I'm a NEET with no irl friends, and my few friends online are sick of my shit. I'm well aware I can't go on like this yet I have no idea how to be any other way. Knowing what the problem is does nothing in and of itself. All the free mental health and neurodivergence resources out there are shit by, for, and about dykeoids. It's so hard explaining myself to anyone new; they either think I'm some homophobic misogynistic evil chud or that it's a joke. I just wish I had some sort of way, any sort of way, for my life to not be like this. I just want to bash the fucking skull of every dyke on the planet with my bare hands.

>>33380815 >>33380835 cont, should probably mention that I do in fact take meds

I am fucked...I got depression, I am an alcoholic, I got 14k dept, work 2 jobs and still not enough and...well idk wtf to do with my life. Thinking to end it sometime soon

>>33380858
Learn to create a surplus budget. Eat within the same 4hour window every day. Eat stuff like potatoes, rice, beans, lentils, eggs, milk, bread, cheese.

>>33380795
Maybe so, but they weren't the same with my older siblings. They really were burnt out when I was a kid, I didn't get the same parenting as the others in my family. Both parents told me I was unplanned for and I think my dad really hated me for it. There was one instance in which he called me a mistake and laughed at me.

>>33380872
Unironically that probably happened. But humans aren't created for a reason. They are born and create their reason. Just because your beginning is sad doesn't make that who you are, but you probably are all fucked up like a dog that's been treated badly, but those dogs can heal and love and feel calm again, and so can you.

>have suicidal ideation for years
>its just fleeting thoughts, so don't really care about them
>today feel existential dread and think up a plan to actually kill myself on my birthday in a few months
im fucked
my mind wants me dead
not that my life is worth living anyway

>>33381236
Go to the nearest ocean and the go to a somewhat safe national park and walk around for 30 minutes. It's better than seeing a psychologist

>>33380142 (OP)
Scholarships are nepobaby grants and I'm tired of pretending they're not.

>oh you won state wrestling 2x, state football 2x with a 13-0 record, won multiple track and field gold medals, all with a 3.8+ GPA? best we can do is a 1 time payment of 3k

>what's that? you won state cross country once? who are your parents again? here's a full ride to a private college that costs ~40k/year

Meritocracy system my fucking ass.

>>33380142 (OP)
I feel like my ex might've been my one shot at raising a family.

And she was cute. I can't fathom living with her and not fucking for 4weeks+.

Something went terribly wrong and I'm not sure what.

i want to starve myself. no actual reason other than i don't like the action of eating, don't want to starve myself to death obviously, just wishing that multivitamins can get me through.
i feel like killing myself but that's unrelated to the starving myself bit.
i hate therapists so i refuse to go to one unless forced

>>33381320
Yeah, the world is unfair. Be grateful you weren't born in a 3rd world slum and make the most of what you have.

>>33380869

>>33381320
Only nepobabies call it meritocracy.

Everyday without my e boyfriend ex I want to die. I defined my future around him and I doubt anyone but him will ever connect with my soul in such a way. I keep trying to contact him and he ignores me. I just want to prove that I am always loyal to him. I am in love with him unconditionally. I feel broken without him. He was my first love and first boyfriend.

The problem is, we're taught we have to constantly rage about every bad thing 24/7 or we're horrible people letting it happen, but then they go and tell us we just need to mindlessly accept everything

>>33381494
It's limerence. Has he moved on? Have you gotten closure? did you both want the same things? Can you forgive yourself? Can you forgive him?

>>33380444
>addicted to porn
Same boat. My idea was to collect all my downloaded porn and to delete it, but I can never pull the trigger

>>33381395
>i feel like killing myself
Is it a constant feeling or does it come and go? I've had suicidal thoughts a bit lately mostly when thinking about things I have to do and things I'll have to do

I want to tell you I will miss you, but I'm not sure if it would come out weird or not. I just hope you'll miss me too a bit. I shouldn't ruin what we have already and we couldn't be together anyway. I can't tell if I'm being delusional or if there was ever a chance

>>33381620
He has moved on he cheated on me and left but I still miss him. He came back for a while said he loved me then left for the same woman he cheated on me with which was confusing. He apologized said he had feelings for me and left making the closure more confusing. I cannot forgive myself for not being enough for him it is humiliating having your boyfriend stolen by a teenage egirl from Sydney. I cannot ever hate him for long I just want to love him that is what God put me on earth for.

It is really hard, I believed everything he told me. I thought we were going to be married by next year. He said he would help me escape from my parents and protect me and that I was his princess. Was my problem that I was not underage? Was I too old for him being 24 and him being 20? Was I too ugly? I just do not understand his recent actions so I cannot even be angry at him.

I told you I wouldn't be ok if I lost you entirely and here I am suffering and you've blocked me everywhere so the sting is even worse than if you just faded away. I know I was saying crazy shit but you knew I would start to lose it. I just want to give us a proper ending instead of what we have now. I know closure is a meme but I need it to heal as much as you need space from me to heal.

I want to kill myself but I don't think I can get the stuff to do it with

I love him so much. I want to tell him how much I love him. I want him to know that he's perfect to me no matter what. Fuck I want to hug him so badly.

Wtf X 20 captchas for 1 account? 5 sure but 20? I just need to look for someone on X damnit.

>>33382143
>couldn't be together anyway.
Why can't you if you both miss each other?

>>33382416
We're coworkers. We're both in relationships. So I don't want to ruin any of it. But I can't control feelings.

>Parents make the shittest burgers imaginable
>Literally just unseasoned fucking meatballs
>Parents are going to have burgers one night
>Fuck it I'm cooking these things
>"Haha Anon your burgers are gonna be shit you don't know how to cook"
>Bet
>Watch videos about cooking the best burgers
>Longest was like 2 minutes
>Cook the burgers
>They're fucking delicious
>Taste as if SpongeBob SquarePants himself cooked these motherfuckers
>"Yeah these burgers are good Anon but you used a recipe on the Internet instead of knowing beforehand so you didn't technically cook these"

...

Having to still see the person you like all the time after a rejection is such a shitty feeling.

>>33382271
Where the hell do I go to get the stuff now

>>33382271
Have you atleast tried getting help, Anon?

>>33380142 (OP)
I feel like a foreigner in my own country, which normally isn't too controversial or too strange a statement knowing what it normally evokes, but for me it means something different.

I am English, ethnically, linguistically, culturally clearly, it's in my very accent, my gestures, my habits, my writing style and yet the other English I've met always have one question on their mind.
>Where are you from? No really?
Which then devolves into
>You're not from there.
>You don't really belong here do you?
It's strange to have such a distinct feeling of almost being as close to a literal alien as one can be, I refer to "Brits" as others and not include myself, I speak as if I am not one of them because I don't feel like for all the friends, family and others I have had in this country, it's never been home, it's never been mine, I've never truly been a part of the fabric of it.

Quite frankly I don't know where home is

>>33381562
Literally just delete Twitter, it is just that easy.

>>33380312
>have a degree
>have a job
>have a girlfriend
>"I have basically nothing to show for it."
Gee, your girlfriend must be thrilled hearing that. Get over yourself, you seem to be doing better than most guys your age, unless you're like 600 pounds or something. I would work on the losing weight probably, since being fat is bad for everything, including your mood. Stop eating bread and processed slop, and get most of your calories through clean meats and fruits. Throw out the cereal; eggs or sardines are overpowered breakfast options for weight loss. If you think you need to eat grains, you're wrong. They have their use, but they are horrible for fat loss.

too weird to fit in with normies

too normal to fit in with weirdos

alone at a table of friends

>>33382704
Also, NO SODA. NO SUGARY BEVERAGES.

>>33380142 (OP)
I have no hope for the future or my life i dont see myself getting any relationships i dont see the world doing in a direction i would want to live and i dont see myself in a future where i am even someone content or successful i want to be gone from this world but im too pussy to do it and i just have to steam in all of this hate for myself and the world around me i just want to feel genuine deep love for another human and contentment in my life

it's over.

>>33382686
What exactly do you mean? Are you a native or a Saxon?

>>33382716
very relatable
if you ever find the courage use helium-asphixiation with a simple plastikbag and a helium ballontank.
Check the Heliumtank contents for a instructionsheet that warns for child-use or asphixiation and you will find a quiet and peaceful end.
Best of luck to you

>>33380142 (OP)
hit with the realisation that I wasted good years in high school not doing much. 22 so still got time, will do staff just because I can; learn french, electric guitar, started cocking for myself for fun

I feel like I'm cursed. Every time something starts going well with someone, they ghost me and leave me out to dry without even saying anything. I know they say "if you always have bad relationships maybe you're the problem" but i feel like I'm just getting involved with shitty people

Is porn really that bad? I cant take it anymore, I need to bust. It’s been two day, I’ve hit the gym hard in these two days, and my libido is going crazy. No fap is retarded.

>>33382785
You keep saying that in an attempt to convince yourself, but the fact remains that because you keep saying it shows how it isn't. And that's just one of your posts that I see you keep making about me

>>33382913
That's your primal brain speaking, keep at it, after a while you don't care

Women have hated me my entire life. I can't imagine one ever wanting to date me, let alone marry me. Hopefully I'll get reincarnated as a Chad with a loving family that doesn't abuse me or waste all their money on stupid shit.

Evertime I die I go back to the year 2010

>>33382932
>see you keep making about me
none of my posts have ever been for a mike. and i'm going to be honest, i don't know your lore as a tripfag

I sent the triple text
I feel good about it, wasn't a manipulation attempt or desperation, it was just for me to feel like there's at least some closure in things I hadn't said, whether they never see it or respond or don't. Not overly long or sappy, just the basics and acknowledging the silence. I wasn't going to feel okay about never hearing from them again if I didn't send that, now I feel some relief for the first time over a week. That was not people's advice but I feel good about it, had to go with my gut

Yeah it’s high time they know how you feel. Go to them anons. While you can

>>33382913
Literally just masturbate without porn. You will realize, you don't even have to finish to calm yourself down.

I've been dragging my feet on my dissertation and there's no way I'm making the deadline now. I hate being a lazy flake that lets everyone down

after not getting the job i just crumbled and looked at her twitter and she pretty much is calling me a monster. was i wrong all this time...i treated her like a queen she got everything and i suffered so much...why do i feel like everything is my fault.

i just had the bad idea to look up abortion porn

FUCK MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIFE

thought about you in the psych ward

I'm hallucinating again. I don't want to tell my family.

>>33383266
You should
It's okay it's not your fault and no one's going to be mad at you, they'll just help you get better

It’ll be 9 years since you left us and I still miss you. I heard a song on my playlist and it reminded me of when we were kids, I still cry wishing you were still here.

you really hate seeing a passive, sheepish man with the mean, rude hambeast of a wife he's spent decades enabling and molding into a cruel ugly bitch

>>33383262
How was the psych ward?

>>33383482
Cramped dull and sad

>>33383516
Did you get to keep the grippy socks?

>>33383542
Is that customary they did let me

>>33382559
I think it's great. He's great, and lovely.

To me it's weird how much of YouTube these days is dedicated to chronicling the downfall of famous people. Well, I say famous, but I don't even know who most of the people they show even are. But I still find it weird how much content out there is dedicated to cataloguing and watching famous people crash and burn.

More than anything, I just want to do a lot of ketamine while listening to music and playing games then ending the night with multiple k-holes and crying until I fall asleep while the most hilarious closed eye visuals appear

>>33383208
My phi professor pushed back his deadline for a Cambridge essay by many months. You're fine

>>33383208
Making a to-do list always helps me

Nate, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna fuck your fiance again. I'm gonna cum all up in her and I'm gonna take her to a strip club and watch her get a lap dance and maybe convince her to get on stage. I'm gonna take her to the nude beach also. I'm gonna make her "wear" a lovense and the fancy magnetic clit vibrator that's bluetooth controlled, she's gonna tell you she bought it. She's also gonna show up after her trip with daisy dukes and lewd gym clothes. Maybe she will show you the same pictures she sends me.

But enjoy your wedding, I'm having surgery and can't make it even though I'm invited. I'll get you something I think you would like off the registry. She says she's not gonna let me fuck her after the marriage, but who knows. She already said my dick is bigger than yours. She also said {redacted's} dick is bigger than yours and that I'm bigger than him.

I would've warned you about all of this, but you were a fucking prick to me and my friend when we met. So fuck you. Enjoy your whore of a wife who complains to every man about you not fucking her good enough when she's drunk.

I'm mad about all of this because you fucking blabbed to my friend that you thought she was fucking me when he was fucking her also and he and I had to talk about it and she admitted to us both about the other and he got pissed because she fucking said my dick was bigger than his so now our friendship is awkward.

Fucker. I'm pissed. Enjoy your whore of a wife. I'm mad as hell.

>>33383208
At least you have a committee. Mine all retired.

>>33383262
You should say hello.

I feel like a fraud and an imposter when I hang out with the downtown music scene bar-fly crowd and I fear that they wouldn’t accept me if they knew how privileged I am. All of these people superficially look like me and are into the same kind of music, and they all are very nice and welcoming and fun to be with, but they all have also had it rougher than I have and they know how to handle themselves in that environment and I don’t because I’ve been so sheltered, and so on a certain level I feel like I can’t truly relate to them, even though speaking purely from a personal finance standpoint I’m about in the same boat as them since it’s my dad who has all the money and not me. I just want to find my people and find someplace I belong, and it sure as hell isn’t with some of the yuppie assholes I hang out with on occasion — but at least I don’t feel like a fraud when I’m with them, even if I can tell that they (arguably correctly) think they’re ‘above’ me.

I'm getting seriously sick of and burnt out by this shitty game called dating. It positively boggles my mind how women can claim to be going on dates every month or even every week, while I reflect on the fact I haven't so much as talked to a potential partner irl in over a year. The last "relationship" that got past a first date ended nearly 2 years ago. And I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing wrong. I figuratively and literally touch grass, I'm relatively in shape, I try to live a principled life, and I have goals. I'd love to be a loving husband and father and I think I'm capable, but there are no breaks to be had. Everyone I reach out to ghosts me if they even respond at all. And the ones who try reaching out to me have lifestyles and choices that are blatantly incompatible with my own stated values. I'd like to think I don't have terribly high standards, considering most of them are abstaining from degen stuff like tattoos and weed. Yet it seems like I am asking too much while also being not enough. I'm just sick of spinning my wheels in place.

>>33384032
>standards aren’t terribly high
>no tattoos allowed
I don’t say this to be condescending or to be a dick or anything of the sort but in 2025 that is kinda a lofty standard, it’s rarer not to have them nowadays

>>33380142 (OP)
Hey cum guzzler

I fear of diabetes has increased. Yesterday, I broke my twenty-four fast and gorged on shredded cheese, tortilla chips, some weird seasoning, and some carbonated no sugar soda thing. I meant to throw it up but fell asleep. The timer woke me up and when I stood up to go vomit i felt dizzy; not sure if this is because of my weird sleeping position or something else. Today, I had trail mix (minus the m and mies) for dinner and when i went to go pee i noticed a weird a smell. Even after pissing in a bottle and smelling it im not sure if it's the toilet or my urine. No idea what i'm going to do for the next two days but i think I'm going to try to go for five days without eating starting Monday.

Since I'll never be able to actually marry you, I think I'm just going to change my last name to yours and drink myself to death so it'll be on my headstone anyway.

>>33383932
I kinda fucked it all up and there’s not much I can do about the situation. But were life simpler yeah I should. I sometimes hope for one from them still.

>>33380312
This video game changed my life. I don't know if it'll change yours, but I find a lot of meaning in it. I'm not advocating selling drugs, but arbitraging in increment is a FACINATING concept. https://archive.org/details/dopewars

I want to live in a world that doesn't exist anymore. It's gone and it's never coming back. 9/11 mortally wounded it and COVID finished it off. Every tomorrow will just be slightly worse, forever, and all I can do is somehow make the best it. It's not a good feeling.

>>33380706
I use to get really mad at my boomer parents, but if I considered that they were raised by people who were dumb enough to fight Germany in World War II and thereby get their kids (my folks) wrapped into the cold war by helping the Communists in Russia make it through the war, you can see that they themselves were raised by people who were a bit off.

And I'm sorry to be writing this after having a little whiskey tonight, but if it makes you feel any better, as a millennial, I've noticed that Gen Z is the first generation to not be worst than the one that proceeds it since I've been born.

Just told this bitch off after three years of her giving me the runaround. She'll never speak to me again or let me fuck her, but god does it feel good right now.

>>33384433
Bad move G. You reacted to her. You need her to react to you.

Let me show you how this really works: Get friend zoned 8 times simultaneously. Work this out on your schedule (use google calendar, no details just names). Give them all time at the appointed time for 3 weeks. Zero in on the girl you like. At her appointed time, break it off with her and tell her you will be with another girl you scheduled in at that time. When she presses you to stay, tell her that you think it's getting serious with the other girl.

At this point, it's not about you, it's about her being more desired than the other girl. If she let's you go, wash, rinse, and repeat until you hit pay dirt.

I know this is manipulative, but I've seen it work.

>>33384491
I wasn't friendzoned; we'd been sleeping together infrequently, but every time I tried to move things forward it was nothing but excuses. Then even the hookups tapered off, and she wouldn't hang out with me, even though she'd hit me up to bitch about her life all the goddamn time.

So, fuck her.

I f***ing hate coomers.
I want to kick the s*** out of them.

I see them every day, tired eyes, bad posture, no aura, magnetism or confidence in the way they speak, move, behave. They are real life NPCs and I make a point of treating them as such, sometimes even approaching and fucking with them purely for my own gratification. One time I singled out this f***ing classic incel sitting on the bus with head phones and publicly called him a creep and told him to leave the bus or I would kick his ass. And I would have, I had really amped myself up before approaching him and almost wish he had tried to hit me. He left the bus, and a number of women thanked me for removing the threat. In reality I had no specific reason to believe he was a creep, and just wanted to assert dominance over a beta male in front of attractive women. But he was a creep, because all coomers are and anyone who thinks they can hide the latter is delusional.

The coomer's submissive exit is a larger pattern I have observed in all areas of life, work, gym, even just on the street. Coomers have an instinctive fear of men who retain, they can't meet my gaze because we both sense they are not in the presence of an equal. He will seethe later fantasizing about what he should have done / said, but in the moment biology prevails and he recognizes me as a figure of authority, on an evolutionary level.

Another case in point: recently I was at the mall see this moderately obese coomer slouching with his face in his phone, did some recon and I confirmed he was looking at porn. I walked up to him, pushed his food on the floor and smacked him in the face, loudly saying you can't watch porn here. There are ladies present. No one intervened, and a group of women nearby laughed at the coomer as he hurriedly left the food court, as I walked menacingly in his direction to ensure he would leave and the women would be safe.

>>33384526
i'm going to this post rn

>>33380142 (OP)
Having a victim complex is the most embarrassing shit ever. I hate that my whole personality is defined by being sexually assaulted. I try to fight the thoughts cause they're just that, thoughts, but it's so hard and tiring. I wonder if there was a me who wasn't fucked over physical "abuse" or threats, or hurtful words, or religious conflict, or being touched once. fml

>>33382932
Zip it, Mike.
>>33382785
Fight!

>>33384157
Hey beautiful

People who like Roblox are automatically immature and gross.

>>33384595
Real. Roblox players are retarded children, brainrot content creators, or adults who can't let go.

>>33384229
You do realize that diabetes is related to sugars, right? You can eat regular food that is low in sugar, either natural or added. Just avoid fruity and sugary food and drink like soda, candy, and dessert pastries.

>>33384526
>self-censoring "fucking" and "shit" on 4chan
For why do you do this

The anxious rumination sadness finally turned into acceptance sadness
I hope this means it's going to be over soon

>>33384518
I can see why that's a non-plus, but maybe you didn't need to tell her off. If she's not going forward with you on her own volition, if she were to give in from your protest, you'd be at a HIGH risk of being cheated on (and perhaps being complained about).

i am in a significantly worse mental state than id admit to

>>33382556
stop trying to impress people who spend more time impressing themselves by merely breathing air.
They are a waste of your time and efforts.

>>33384637
Because he's a stupid zoomer who came from another website where that's normal.

>>33384608
Omfg like finally someone gets it

>>33383746
>>33383833
I'll compile everything I've written so far, send it to the supervisor and make my excuses. I've had some legitimate health issues lately so I hope he'll take some pity on me and let me submit on the next semester
>>33383876
Yikes. Good luck anon.

>>33384657
Ehh. I've been flaked on by her and fed excuses and white lies hundreds of times by now. I can only take so much.

I didn't tell her to fuck off or anything stupid like that. She flaked on me (again) and after a barrage of excuses, I said that if she keeps pissing people off and losing friends, she's the problem. (She has lost a shit ton of friends lately over said behavior.)

My dad died about a month ago and it's completely fucked my anxiety disorder

I had a kind of handle on it before but then it's just totally in the wind now

I have been reflecting on all the self, stupid shit I've been doing my whole life and losing my mind over every tiny little thing I do wrong

I was trying to give up alcohol before he passed but now it's gone into overdrive.

I start therapy tomorrow.

I'm a horrible piece of shit and I wish I'd done more while he was still alive to stop being that.

Sundays usually feel like this.
pic related

>>33384257
Ask her out

>>33382705
Same

That incel anon was right women are the nword of the genders

>>33384847
It’s Friday/Saturday
Hope you feel better anon

I’m looking for Robert Tyler cohen

>>33384865
I didn't know Yoko Ono was an incel

>>33380142 (OP)
Lesbians are a retarded waste of space and resources.

>>33382705
This but I’m too privileged/rich to fit in with the punks and too punk/poor to fit in with the yuppies. Who both want to monopolize my free time for reasons I cannot comprehend

>>33385002
It's Saturday here, I can't believe there's only 1 day left until the weekend ends.

>>33385152
Your full Saturday + Sunday = 2 days :D

You need help dude - you seriously need help. Why is being single so unbearable that you put yourself through this same shit over and over and over again. It's so embarrassing watching how desperate you are and the insane lengths you will go to find some woman to take you, then quickly dump you again because you're so needy. Then the cycle starts again, never shutting up about finding a woman, every week there is some new crush and love of your life, doing insane shit to try and meet someone as quick as possible, ignoring all red flags and ending up in shit relationship after shit relationship since they are the only ones who will accept your needy ass since you provide everything for them while they leech off you. FUCK! Pisses me off seeing you act like this it is so fucking annoying.

I've never hated the media more than I do right now. This Trump Epstein shit is so fucking in your face and obvious but the media still won't stop labeling all of it "far right conspiracy theorist" stuff. STFU I'm a liberal atheist who hates conspiracy theorist crap but for whatever reason you dumb fuckers are latched onto this idea of anything Epstein related being a conspiracy theory. What the fuck? Loved hearing Tim Dillon rip your assholes to shreds in his last episdoe about this. Is it because both of you fuckers are trying to cover for this? Repubs for Trump and Dems for Clinton? Yeah, Maxwell was convicted and Epstein was arrested because they were just trafficking to themselves. Yeah, sure, that must be it - nothing to see here folks! Any idea others were involved just a conspiracy theory! Ignore the flight logs and all the victim testimony, or the known people Epstein was involved with. Just ignore all that. God I fucking hate politicians and our corrupt as fuck government, the media and everyone else

It's been 7 months since my gf left me for another man, and I still talk to her in my head 24/7

>>33385237
Bruh. Just leave it alone bruh

>>33384628
Is it? I extremely stupid so even after I read about something multiple times i still won't understand. I read somewhere it has to do with the bodies insulin levels which is affected every time you eat. On top of that, there is sugar in everything; milk, raisans, kethchup, and even bread

>>33381793
it comes and goes. sometimes I'll be so happy with my life and a random inconvenience makes me want to bash my head in. I feel so out of place because I know these intense feelings aren't normal but everyone makes me think its just, being a teenager?
I've banged my head on my desk in front of teachers and classmates, and none care. I don't know if anyone can help me, not even my family or friends. I feel so empty and alone but so intense and angry at the same time, which sounds edgy and stupid but i don't know how to express it without sounding idiotic or harming myself.

I want to hurt her as much as she hurt me. But she just doesn't care, and you can't hurt someone who doesn't care. It's tearing me up inside.

>>33384655
It always goes back to anxious rumination sadness I find.

>>33384323
You can so long as there is a way to contact them. Worst case scenario they say no, which is what you have already.

>>33385203
who is this man and why is he like that

my ex raped me and nothing happened. The police did nothing he denied to everyone. No one believes me all my “friends” thinks im a liar and im getting death threats how do you think i feel? I was violated by someone I loved?

>>33385313
1. get new friends bc wtf
2. try to get a good lawyer to help sue

>>33385157
it's hard to be pessemistic when i distract myself on 4chan :D

It will never get better. I am giving myself six days. I will make a move then to try and fix my life, because it's the only date this year it wouldn't be awkward. If that doesn't pan out, then I am checking out of everything. I cannot keep continuing hoping for some miracle I've waited over two weeks for. Or for a life I've been waiting over 30 years for.

>>33385267
It does deal with insulin, but insulin helps regulate blood sugar levels. The kind you're probably worried about is Type 2, where you have chronically high sugar levels. And yeah, eating will make it fluctuate, but the fluctuation is determined by the type. A chicken nugget is not going to spike your blood sugar like a donut will. It's kinda like hearing. You will always hear stuff, but if you're constantly blasting loud music, it damages your ability to hear normally. It's not a 1 to 1 analogy, but you get the idea. Conversely, if you're always in starvation mode, any amount of food will produce a higher than normal spike.

Huh. I guess the alcohol wasn’t the reason why I hurt myself a month or two ago. I mean, cutting back was probably a good thing regardless, but I seriously thought that was it.

>>33385642
I know what I did. I did it ‘cause I liked it. Hell, I loved it. And I’m itching to do it again.

Nice

I thought life would be worth living if I stopped being selfish, bit of an asshole.
I've changed for the better but turns out life is awful, boring, lonely, and there's nothing unique about me.
Everything is done, resolved, over. Everyone's moved on and I've been left behind. It was too late for me before I decided to do anything about myself.

Oh man. What a life, what a waste of it.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I feel lost.

>>33385690
Just find a social scene that appeals to you and attempt to assimilate into it. You’ll feel like an imposter at first, a stranger in your own skin, and they’ll reject you and cast you out once they realize that your background and life story utterly disqualify you from ever truly relating to them, but you’ll have friends for about a week or two, maybe longer depending on how long you can hide your true self from them

>>33385699
The more I read this post, the bigger the spiral. It's tough and I do my best to be nice, but I suppose I'm cursed to walk the earth by myself until my legs give up. Thank you, Anon.

>>33385706
Sorry to be a downer and prolong the spiral. Normally I don’t act like this. But this is my current experience (minus the being cast out part, but so just know it’s going to happen sooner or later, or I won’t be able to take it anymore and I’ll just remove myself) and I can only imagine that it must be similar for anybody else in the same sort of situation

>>33385727
I don't know you. I will never meet you.
I won't forget your post for a while and I will be cheering for you all the way from here inside my troubled mind, to you.

>>33382992
Men are not vanishing, they are retreating. From relationships, from institutional demands, from collective obligation. Not by cowardice, nor nihilism, nor weakness - but by sacred refusal to collude with a world that has hollowed out the feminine into parody, and severed eros from its mythic root.
This retreat is not a conscious movement toward soul, for most men have not heard of soul. It is not a deliberate descent into myth, for most don't remember the myths. And yet it happens. Everywhere.
Men retreat not in search of the feminine within but in search of refuge. They turn away from real relationships, work, education, not because they hate women, but because the outer feminine devoid of beauty, of function, of soul has become unrecognizable. And if given a choice between emptiness and the parody, they choose emptiness. They choose nothing rather than violate what remains of their inner integrity.
But it is there, in the void, that the great possibility stirs.
Even if they do not name her, do not know her, have never met her, still within that emptiness, the anima awaits.
She does not need to be reimagined, reengineered, or "updated". She does not ask to be made familiar to the modern psyche. She need only be seen. Once. As she is. In the dark. Without distortion. Without irony. Without demand.

This act of remembering is enough.

Because where culture collapses, myth re-emerges. And where men descend into the silence beneath language, soul prepares its next eruption. The anima was never meant to be found in daylight; she is born in shadow, dwells in dream, and speaks first through absence.
So let it be said: true virtue is born in darkness.
And when men meet her there not as escape, not as fantasy, but as a reawakening they will return. Not as obedient citizens of a broken world, but as bearers of the fire: visionaries, warriors, poets, and builders, not of new systems but of meaningful life.

This is not disappearance, it's gestation.

I don't have the capacity to be my mother's daily therapist. But I have no choice in the matter. And so it is.

i thought i could become rich by buying magic beans from a fat russian man, but he has even worse social skills than me, so i sold it all

>>33386229
man i get you OP
i had to deal with all my mom's marriage stuff from a young age. she's stopped but i fear the day it starts again

31 today. Still a NEET. Still haven't achieved anything and life isn't going anywhere.

I want to cut off social contact with my randomly hostile borderline sister but I'm too much of a pussy to confront her or my family over how treats me or any of the other reasons I don't want to be around her. I fly randomly off the handle in private over my rage for how she's treated me both in the past as kids and recently throughout my early twenties. I'm a real autistic and not a meme autistic for a reference point. With how she's acted my entire life, she's less of a sister and more of a randomly hostile entity that I lived in the same house as growing up. If she were one or the other I'd be able to handle it better. But it's random.

>>33386313
Happy birthday anon :) If you can put that stuff out of your mind and enjoy it. The time for tackling that kind of stuff can wait.

ok i think i see how it is, you don't really like me, but since i'm kinda forcing it you're just enjoying the attention and using me for validation, while rubbing it in my face that i'm nothing to you

If I have to be a villain to you for you to move on then it’s fine by me. I’ll play Dracula. Greed and all. Pour the negative emotions towards me and not yourself. And take care

>>33387159
Forcing someone to move on never works, and making someone feel more negativity hurts them. They are their feelings not yours. Just saying.

>>33387200
Normally I’d agree but this is messed up since I’m so well me. Some bitter medicine seems needed. Mine is going to be next. I know it’ll be up to them to really process it though. Nothing wrong with that.

>>33387239
You are just going to give this person severe trust issues and make it harder for them to move on. This absolutely never works in any scenario. You cannot control others feelings.

I hate when people lose their individuality. It's like watching a completely different person.

>>33380142 (OP)
my porn addiction has got out of control and my life is going nowhere

>>33387239
There is no normally whatever. You're not them. Stop being a fucking faggot and be honest about things to them instead of playing head games. What are you doing to them to fuck with them and force them to move on?

My last advice.. take it!

You never know who is talking to you here.

>>33387325
You're correct. We project ourselves into replies to people with similar enough situations too

>>33387325
Don't project your insecurities onto me right now

I don't usually use these threads but over the last few days I've been thinking about my dog. She lived to be over seventeen years old, she was so strong, and we had to have her put down eventually. She was just in too much pain, the muscle tissue around her hips was almost gone, she would slide into a lying position all the time, she would soil herself, it was undoable for my aging parents too and you also don't want to wait until your dog enjoys nothing about life anymore to give them relief.

But fucking hell, it hurts to know when you will take your companion of the past seventeen years for a walk for the last time. When you give her the last treat, the last hug. Waiting for the vet to arrive.

I miss her so much and I still sometimes ache to realize I will never touch the special place between her eyes and ears again, where she would close her eyes if touched gently. I still wish she just at some point had a lovely dream she didn't wake up to instead of having to plan her death and being left with the memory of feeling her die in my arms. The vet hurt her too, because her muscles were so wasted the first attempt to give her sedation made her cry out in pain and I had to restrain her. Sometimes it just hurts my heart to remember. She was such a kind and lovely dog and I wish she could've died without pain.

>>33387395
That's real love, anon. Thank you for allowing me to share in a portion of it with you.

>>33387431
Thank you for saying this, I mean it.

Adrijus….just text me please. I need to find you even if you keep avoiding me. You did not need to block me you know. It hurt you just did it in a flash but you never blocked Rai even when I begged you to not talk to her. Yet you emailed me, saying you have feelings for me only to block me “rightfully” so, yet it was you who initiated it. Please I want to understand you,I want to take care of you I want to love you.

hoflation is insane these days

Here I am, back after all these years. My journey feels near its completion, and my goals have evolved.

Also I release music now, my lyrical genius finally brought to life via RNG magiks.


https://on.soundcloud.com/fhc9IKzqOzqS57WAO0

https://www.mediafire.com/folder/mbvnnx5r0w7dq/Chiptune_EP

>>33387973
Niggers...
https://on.soundcloud.com/QnlAmsKPXQEQWqEzyR

I wanna kms. Nothing I do will make any difference in how I feel ever again.

I love him so much, he is absolutely perfect in every way

Call me Mister Pollinate!
The type of guy her father hates
The type of guy she wanna date
I will beat you back and forth! Call me Mister Oscillate!
Wait until you ovulate then enter and just dominate
Full moon, I will monster rape, then whisper happy holiday~
In her garden like I climbed the gate. Her fruit is fuckin mine to taste!
Beat that pussy up. Annihilate. She acts like her messiah came.
She's right of course. She's wide awake. She knows what scriptures tryna say
I tell her that it's time to pray. I tell her throw your life away
My love's a drug, now take a hit, let's fly away.

>>33388058
oh no, the reptile is back

I just want to go fucking back. Never in my life have I wanted to go back this bad before. I don't understand how the one time I actually want to go back I can't. All the other times I could have easily waltz right in and have things the way they where but this time, this ONE FUCKING TIME I CAN'T DO FUCKING SHIT TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT FUCKING WHY PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

>>33388175
Why can't you go back now?

What's worse, not knowing what you want, or knowing it and settling for less?

>>33388286
I think the latter, is worse but easier to solve

>>33388286
Former is worse, later is just being an adult

I was in a relationship for almost 2 years with a partner who constantly smelled bad, meanwhile I took extra long showers before seeing them and carried a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car because I didn't want them to feel disgusted when we kissed. And the whole time I was thinking maybe they'd change and do the same for me. Like maybe I was worth being clean for.

Damn... This place is boring. Was it always boring, or did it lose its flavor?

>>33387159
lol fag

>>33388422
lol fag narcissist meltdown don’t @ me cracker

>>33388422
Site got more boring, but honestly the entire internet has. Posting and engagement is down. It's basically all bots and a small group of active posters on every site.

>Therapy is a joke industry
>Parents are completely disconnected and have their own mental illness happening
>Friends are literally getting high off the bluepill and then wondering why the world seems to give them a bloody nose
>Everybody else is just meandering with their own insanity
>Anytime I open up people take popshots and go on and on about how much better of a person they are

There is literally no one I have in my life to talk to about my problems or atleast get them off my chest
You have no idea how much I appreciate these threads

>>33388468
What are you opening up about and why are they taking popshts?

I don't know how long I can stay with someone that I know doesn't share feelings. It's wearing down my sanity because there isn't any guarantee of loyalty.

why do women i don't know always get so close to me

commented on something to a random girl at the grocery store and she first screamed and jumped then got waaayyy too close with a maniacal smile

just today at work this lady customer got so close we were touching, and her bf was there off to the side like a cuck

what gives ladies

>>33388506
It's just in general

I just come here and spill, etc etc.
I just wanted to show appreciation, ya know?

People just like to feel like they're the shit, they like putting people down cause they go up, atleast in their mind they go up.

>>33388535
Just dump them. Loyalty is the most important virtue.

>>33388720
Is that why the people you confide in are putting you down? To feel superior?

when did rimjobbing in porn get so popular? this shit is fucking disgusting, how is someone sticking their tongue in someone's shitter actually fappable and why is it becoming more and more commonplace? I was just looking for a couple good povs and doggystyles and BAM you see a guy with his asshole getting licked

I hate humanity

>>33388626
Probably if you look cute thats why.

>>33388356
Was it a girl?

I'm extremely depressed since coming off heroin. Move around like a zombie. Have a hard time speaking. Wonder when it will ever end. Trying to engross myself in my work, but that's pretty much all I have the energy to do.

>>33388739
What do you think?
People are people, they don't like it when they think someone has something they don't
Their angry Anon, really angry. Foaming at the mouth, breaking the chairs, and screaming
We're like chimps only passive aggressive

>>33388733
It's not that easy.

I had big hopes and dreams.
They weren't even that unrealistic. I only needed some support.
But through years and years of attrition, they were completely destroyed.
I have only one goal now, to get a job, to move out of my mother's apartment, to live as an hermit, to masturbate and play video games and watch anime everyday until I'm like 30 or 40 and then kms.
So, so pathetic.

Still waiting for Tammy Lee Bochan or Coleman to explain why she has let two other women cycle in and out of the house I grew up in frequently since I was a child, posing as her and letting other people receive, open, sign and send her mail as well.

My gut wrenches and it hurts. I'm overreacting. I know it. Why won't it stop? It wasn't that bad. It was a while ago. Why does my body shake when it's mentioned. It wasn't that bad. It's mild. I'm convincing myself it was serious. Not like I was raped. Rape victims deserve more care. Not me. It wasn't abuse. It was once. Why the fuck am I like this. It hurts a lot. It makes me want to die. But that's not normal. My mind is lying to me. I like the world and I want to live. But it hurts and hurts and hurts and I want it to stop. Even though it wasn't that bad.

Is it bad if an old man nudges his fingers against your crotch on the bus when you're young. Even for a second. Is that bad.

>>33388893
Yes. He's a sick pervert. Next time punch him

>>33388897
Was it even enough to count as sexual assault. Fuck man fuck

Derek told me less than a year ago that they’re still paying off a mortgage for the house. Same house that was given to them by my grandmother who had it built on the land that she kept. It was around 2004-2006 that Derek had become a home owner. I brought it up again to “Derek” today and he said “yes, what about it?” Then when I revealed that I was using a camera to record he walked away and said “that was a long time ago” I stated that this was less than a year ago he said that and he chose to remain silent. He made this statement at the dinner table in front of “Tammy” and she played along as if it was true. Then when I approached Tammy about it today as Derek was walking away she said that “we don’t have a mortgage on this house”. When I asked them why they told me they were paying off a mortgage her response was “u only hear what u want to hear” “im calling, you’re going back to the hospital”.

>>33388914
In this day and age, yea. Busses usually keep videos, maybe you can snitch on him.

>>33388936
Was years ago and I never saw him again. Couldn't get my first perpetrator in trouble for what she did either so I'm omegafucked I guess

>>33380444
Get a job. Being social and around people all day will make you not want to jack off to porn.
Social isolation is the worst thing for that.

>>33385496
Thanks for trying to help.
>>33387395
Sorry for your loss.

>>33385211
Both sides of the political spectrum are trying to cover for it. The media also covers for it. They in a way are it, it's their tribe. You're not going to get them to admit anything, but it is nice hearing people like Tim Dillon or Scott Adams, who probably have a semi normie audience, openly talk about it and drop in your face hints of who is behind it.

Since this is a confession thread, I'm an alcoholic. It's destroyed relationships, harmed my career, and been the #1 cause of the vast majority of my failures as an adult. I've curbed it drastically the last couple of years, but I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I really need to just cut it out of my life entirely.

>>33385909
Good copypasta. I don't really understand a lot of it though.

>>33380142 (OP)
I came to the realization that I've literally never had a pleasant wet dream in my entire life. Every one that I've had has always been negative, despite not getting them often.
For example, the last three wet dreams that I had:
1. About 7 months ago, I had dream-sex with an ex-coworker who I wasn't attracted to at all. I felt grossed out afterwards after waking up.
2. A month ago, I had a dream I had sex with a friend from high-school. She was 4'11", had fucked up snaggle teeth, and a double digit body count. Again after I woke up I just felt shame in myself.
3. I dreamt I got raped by a black man. I didn't like it. It sucked.
Is this shit normal? For reference I'm 19, haven't had sex and like women.

>>33389157
Yeah

My state passed a law that requires a salary range to be posted with job listings and I looked at our website for the position I have; we are looking for someone with 5-10 years of experience (I have 13+ years) and are offering 18% more than what I make.
I have my master's degree and a higher degree of professional licensure (think 16hr exam with a much smaller pass rate compared to an 8hr exam). During my internal review, my manager just tells me what a good job I'm doing and how I exceed the expectations of my role, and they give me shit pay adjustments that probably don't even keep up with inflation and tell me that they really appreciate my work.
Feels band man. I think I would feel better if they gave me shitty reviews and told me things I needed to improve; the way it is, I just resent them, but I just smile and take it because I'm a wimp.

the internet died, but also people don't go outside somehow

>>33389203
this is normal unfortunately
this is why you generally have to be willing to switch jobs to get real upward progress in your salary
getting a 2% raise every year just isn't ever gonna match up

>>33389205
sometimes it feels like the world is dying.

You come here looking for advice. But why would anyone want to help you? Most of you are cunts.

I cut myself again over my old cuts so they bled alot. It's dried up now though and I'm gonna sleep in my own dried blood again hugging my dakimakura of my waifu because I'm so lonely and unlovable. Nobody wants to invite me to games, watch a movie, or do anything. I have friends but I feel like nobody puts in the effort I do. I'm probably never gonna have a gf either although I try. I have bad body dysmorphia from me being short and cut. I'm such a fucking loser sometimes and want to cry but I can't for some reason. Part of me wishes I did kill myself back in 2023 but I had good experiences since then so maybe it's good I healed. Lastly I'm tired of messaging first all the time and I'm gonna remove people who don't message me in a year. FUCK THEM! It does hurt realizing I want to message them but if they won't do any effort it's not worth putting in effort.
I know nobody is gonna read this but I love you anon. Hope you have a good day/night.

Man I'm tired. I have to work up the motivation to keep going, and I'm not sure where to get that.
I just wish I was good enough. Wish I was human.
Hopefully on the other side I'll get to try again, or be someone else, and I'll get to know how that feels.

Just the idea of being around others feels suffocating to me nowadays.

>>33389220
I think it kinda is, or at least the world is in autophagy. Malthusian pressures, and rat utopias, and all that. Not an apocalypse, but a lifetime in between golden ages. Born at dusk, buried by twilight. What a life.

Where’s the line between having a genuine emotional reaction and being toxic/overemotional? I blow up once I start to feel cornered or when something has built up for too long. I really need to practice setting small, commonplace boundaries. It’s social settings where’s it’s the hardest. People are subtle in their dislike at times and I’ve really had to learn to let it not affect me emotionally, because it will completely tear me down. Also I really want to text him. It would probably only disturb him or upset him if I reached out at this point. Or annoy him. Or worse? He might hold enough of a grudge to respond in order to set up some kind of revenge fuck. Sounds nice though. Or he doesn’t answer and I just swallow that shame.

>>33389220
>this is normal unfortunately
Yeah... I think I'll just quiet quit and work only 40 hours and week and be done. If they want to let me go, I'll likely end up better off.
>>33389224
Sorry you opened Pandora's box with that first cut; I know how easy it is to get sucked into addictive behavior.
Communities are too big and it makes it too easy for us to be isolated. Society fucked up, not you.
When I was a kid I was kind of in the opposite situation of you: I would never be the one to call my friends because I felt like I would be bothering them if I were to call out, so they were always the ones that called me. I still have that sense that I would be bothering someone if I were to reach out to them, but I do make the effort on people's birthdays and holidays to send some texts at least.
People's social circles get smaller as they get older; that's just how it be.
>>33389235
You last statement is what I believe to be true. Everything will be perfect in the end.

She tried calling me two weeks after I blocked her
Now she ran away like a coward with the bigger coward she cheated on me with
I escaped one last attempt at emotional fraud

into the ocean

>>33389250
I just realized - I don’t know how to be emotionally vulnerable with men. I keep up a constant guard or deflect, either with humor or sexual provocation. And at a certain point I couldn’t maintain that anymore — all I cared about was actually being honest with him.

he appeared again, in my grandmas kitchen, wearing a woolen hat and a tired face
writing a grocery list of sad items, said nothing when I kissed him hello
I miss him, I miss when he was still happy
whoever took that from him should have to pay for their crimes

>>33389250
Just text him. It sounds like you need to find a healthy outlet to unload more than anything, so things don't build up.

>>33389262
You sound too much like me. Down to the second guessing yourself over it and eventually tearing yourself down.

Clothes look so bad on me and it's driving me a little crazy. I just wanted to look nice today.

>>33389305
nothing looks right, when the vibe is off
it sucks, sorry

>>33389293
that is terrible advice hopefully that anon doesn’t listen to you

I desperately need ketamine

what do you do when you realize there is no meaning in our human being in the world and our own subjective meanings are even more meaningless? Do people really expect others to desire to live in this world we find ourselves in? It's insane

>>33389523
the meaning is existence itself
it‘s about the experience, all of it
so buckle up and enjoy the ride

>>33389552
Uhhh yeah, that's literally the issue. You can't say "enjoy the ride" to something that inherently has no enjoyment to our experience

>>33389561
yes you can, you have to realize that the uncomfortable and painful, the boring and insufferable parts are part of the experience too instead of trying to avoid them
if life was a rollercoaster then the uneasy feeling in the stomach, the fear and the sense of impending doom IS the exciting part
once you get in, you simply have to surrender to it and ride it out, even if it makes you want to scream

but either you are one of those fags that get out of the rollercoaster being all ugh that sucked, holy shit why do people even do this, or you‘re one of those people thats like god DAMN that was great - i almost shat my pants - lets go again!

>>33389596
Nice job solidifying the fact of subjective experience being 'the meaning'. You really think someone who is acknowledging this aspect of life is trying to avoid it? Keep going on and saying your own experience is what gives our being meaning. I'm sure you will be connected to the world, yourself, and other beings as a result.

>>33389611
yes, the meaning is that you figure out how to alter your subjective experience in a way that makes existence exciting instead of a punishment
thats the whole point, things like feeling connected, feeling like you matter and make a difference, feeling like it‘s not all just meaningless IS what emerges from you learning how to alter your perspective in a way that makes things enjoyable

i posted myself on a /soc/ body board again. i do this occasionally and its very well liked. i know I have a good body, which is probably why i do it. however, im asexual and feel no sexual attraction whatsoever. I dont know if ill ever come to my senses or why i keep doing this. im not complimented elsewhere, not ever.
i lost a good friend when he found out i was doing stuff like this. I think he blocked me.
anyway my life is rlly shit other than that. even after I stop, even if its all in the past, ik if my future partner found out I was being such a whore then I'm sure he would block me as well.

u can reply and tell me I'm stupid lol, I already know that. ill go read romance manga to cure my depression :p

>>33389622
Nice, okay, so I'll just alter the world and its beings outside of myself to make myself feel better. What a great help this post is. It's almost as if this is the exact issue our world has been in for hundreds of years.

You must be a christian if you think this is how meaning is developed

>>33389634
no, the exact opposite
you change how you interpret the world to make it something thats making you happy instead of miserable
thats the test, and you have been filtered by your own subjective experience, which is your responsibility

>>33389639
>change how the world is interpreted to overcome subjective experience of what is meaningful and makes you happy because le world isn't here to alleviate your angst and only you can alleviate your own angst which is a human trait
Yeah, sure. You're a moron

>>33389644
if you say so
but who‘s really the moron in the end? the one that had a great time because they learned to frame things in a positive way or the one that was a miserable fuck for absolutely no reason?

>>33389648
I would say the hedonist, as their only experience of life is to mitigate suffering as much as possible, rather than seeing a fundamental state of our beyng

I need
I need a cheese
The butt kind
Cheddar
Swiss
Free from lint
The slices like toilet paper
6. Wipe ass with a solid wipe using a slice of the cheese
That's for the grilled cheese
The burger
Etc

This is a new era
A great era

>>33389651
nobody said anything about hedonism or ignorance
what I said is to be fully aware of the nature of human existence and find it in you to find joy in it anyways
but go ahead, stay miserable because you think it‘s what makes you superior, wise and intelligent

Back to complain again
It feels like I can't talk to anyone in my life about my issues.
Parents will just tell me to forget
Friends might get uncomfortable
Can't get therapy
It's isolating and my best chance at confiding is to scream into the abyss and hope someone listens
Like with the voyager probes or something
I crave affection really really badly. Can't remember the last time I've been hugged by someone I care about.

Damaging buttocks!
Damaging buttocks!
Damaging buttocks!

DAMAGING BUTTOCKS!
DAMAGING BUTTOCKS!

>>33389662
>exhibits fundamental hedonist thought
>not hedonistic
>knowing me from several 4chan posts
>no u

It seems that my problem is the pink fairy. Like Tinkerbell but pink. Ruining my life

>>33389662
Not them, but there is the secret third option that some try. Not being pessimistic and holding out hope to continually be crushed as soon as you think you're getting somewhere.

"Hedonistic" describes a lifestyle or mindset that prioritizes pleasure and self-indulgence above all else. It's characterized by a focus on maximizing enjoyment and minimizing discomfort, often to the exclusion of other values or responsibilities.

There is a good chance my uncle is going die tonight. I suppose I should feel remorse but I feel relieved like getting good news for the first time in long time. We never been close, if anything our relationship has been extremely antagonistic. He always treated me extremely poorly. I shouldn't be but I'm happy that he is dying. I remember being 6 or 7 and seeing my little cousin with a black eye. I asked how did you get your black eye. He said it was his dad, and he wasn't supposed to tell anyone. When you go to a event and the wife suspiciously leaves early or isn't there for an undisclosed reason. And when it is a reoccurring pattern over the years it is hard not to notice. Not to mention the numerous times my cousins have showed up to events with broken arms. He never psychically abused the daughters at least that I know of. But it was hard not notice they were afraid of him. It wasn't the stern I'm afraid of stepping out of line with my overbearing father kind of fear. It felt like I'm danger fear. Nobody talked about it but we all knew. Good riddance you abusive hypocritical piece of shit.

When you go green you feel pure man

>>33389695
Use a hammer end break all his bones as payback for what he did to you. Then buttrape his corpse

Wiwi kiki wonkkkk woooonk

Why is the average joe so fucking mean? It's so difficult to deal with everyone's constant negativity, self consciousness and condescension. My experience with people has been a fucking minefield of constantly walking the tight rope of people's insecurities and egos while they constantly attack you for your yours. As if you're the one at fault for being happy or whatever. It's fucking horrible 9 times out of 10. I'm just very tired and its difficult to keep my chin up some times.

EeeeeeeeeeeeeeWeeew AAAAAAAAH
EEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
EE AAAAAAAAH
E AAAAAAAAAH
E AAAAAAAAAH

>>33389719
No need, he is on life support, the doctors have already given an ultimatum to his family to pull the plug or not because he can not survive without it. In certain aspect I have respect the will to say I'm going to fight through it to the end. I wish they just pulled it.

>>33389725
Every day take a big rock and smash it against your face 15 times as hard as you can. Each week increase to 20, 25, 30, 35 etc

Coooooo

Coooooo
Cooooooo

>>33389743
Do fists work? I don't got rocks around just sand.

How did I forget an onion
An onion
An onion
I love onions
Chopping onions
Sex with onions
Onions on all my shit
Onion up my pee hole

With a tow row row row row row to the British grenadiers!

i shouldnt have said that. a tragic event. my apologies to the universal god

>it's Sunday
>I have to go back to work tomorrow
>I didn't get enough sleep all of last week
>I didn't get enough sleep on the weekend so far
Fuck man, I don't want to spend all of today napping and "waste" the last day of the weekend. I wish weekends where longer

>>33389458
It's not that person wants to talk to them. Their personal problems with boundaries aren't someone else's fault, it's their own and they should take ownership of those instead of avoiding others

>>33389458
They long for to talk to this person, but are worried how they will be perceived since they keep second guessing everything. Avoiding this person is just second guessing again. Their issue is they think everyone dislikes them, and are constantly on guard about life. Isolating yourself, and scaring yourself out of doing the thing you want to do is the worst possible cure for that.

>>33383225
Best part of being a girl is I've done abortions

>>33381391
Only losers dont have kids.

>>33381391
why couldn’t you fuck?

>>33380142 (OP)
i found happiness in every morning, when i reminded myself that it is one day closer to the day i will kill myself. i feel blessed to be my own best friend, advisor and god.

>>33380142 (OP)
Yes

Been having weird incest dreams about my sister and I'll be honest I don't like them at all, especially as I'm the one being the coercive piece of shit.

>>33380142 (OP)
I don't know who needs to hear this, but the existence of brown people in your town doesn't mean your town has become bad.

>>33389987
Omg I totally had one of these myself. We were up against a wall making out. It was a vivid dream from sooo many years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday because it was so hot.

>>33390097
I had the hot dream a few days ago, seemingly it picked up in the messy aftermath last night, basically hiding, her having panic attacks about being caught, something to do with her ex?
Not fun especially as I just acted like a monster.

>speaking to some former colleagues
>The place has turned into a shitshow
Heh

>be me
>bored af
>decide to install bumble to see whats up
>its just a bunch of giga chinned mexicans and troons that just put on a wig and call it a day
Fucking hell, I knew dating apps were bad but this shit is unreal. If this is all there is in my area, I'm just throwing in the towel now.

>>33390271
They're usually not that bad. But that doesn't mean dating apps are worth keeping or bothering with, either.

Holy shit /mu/ is fucking gay. I figured it wouldn't be very good. But wow, what a bunch of losers.

it's wild how nice a girl can act/seem and how cruel she can really be

no wonder they're raped so much

you think it's cool that a girl is into watching sports until you figure out who fucked that interest into them

>>33390379
Youre fucked up. Some are genuinely nice, they just put up guards too be extremely cautious of guys like you

>>33390487
What if they weren't fucked but just like watching, its possible yknow

I never lift weights at the gym despite going a lot. It's confusing and I don't know if I'm doing anything right. I just do cardio. I don't know why I refuse to do it but I just mentally can't. I shut down. God I'm pathetic. I'm 29 and I'm still the massively insecure 14 year old version of myself.

>>33390490
yea it's a real shame 90% make 10% look bad

Nice

>>33389293
I’ve been working on just moving on. I think at this point he definitely has.

Oh my god this clingy bitch is always in my face, I can't take it anymore.

I've screwed myself for wanting to live with an adequate amount of dopamine and it's gonna bite me in the ass. Goodbye anons, I'll see you when I see you.

>>33390536
It's a shame you make youre the male 90%

>>33390731
>It's a shame you make youre the male 90%

about what i expect from you vaccine damage troglodytes

>>33390751
You're absolutely retarded, I'm not vaccinated you spiteful bitter whinger

Why are there no "ugly" girls on tinder?
I dont have any chance matching with these girls
They also all look like they have really expensive lifestyles, and I can't afford that

>>33390765
you say that, mere moment away from sharia law, because your people caved to jews and women pushing immigration like barbara lerner

ngmi lad

>>33390794
My people weren't caved to jews. Ah you're that type of guy.

>>33390858
>that type of guy

>>33389253
Yeah anon it just really hurts :( I feel like the second I stop messaging people it goes dark. I'm always the one trying to be a good friend and invite people to stuff but I never get the kindness back. Also me being a kissless vigin at 23 has made me start cutting again and it just fucking sucks. I know it's dumb but it distracts me from feeling alone and I want to be noticed. Thanks for reading what I said before.
>>33390201
LMAO it feels good. I left a place one and cursed my boss out 1 week before Christmas break and they only had 5 people in the kitchen bc they were assholes. Feels good escaping a toxic workplace, even more so when it gets worse without you.

Were you really interested in me? Enough for something more? That was always a huge question for me. I have trust issues myself.

>>33390975
yes but you rejected me if you dont remember

>>33390997
I meant to reject the way things were not you. And I did keep trying. But I can’t really argue with anything if that’s how you felt. I couldn’t pick you more recently because I didn’t know for certain what you wanted with me opposed to someone I knew that with. Nothing to do with you being enough or anything like that. I obviously think you are. Although it’s true that issue would matter more with what you think of yourself.

Do you want me to leave you alone?

>>33391024
I want you to date me??!?!?!? You think i ask someone out and then Im done with em once they reject me, you know me im old im not childish besides my humor


also
>Not me
sorry for larping at you just had to get it off of my chest. shes not in here

>>33380142 (OP)
Has a talk with myself. Pretty weird one but I guess it was one I needed. I relapse on this girl that broke up with me 3 years ago. It was perfect then, it was everything to me. Then she left me, made a mistake and eventually I went crazy. We forgive each other now but every year I try to rekindle because her place in my life held so much meaning. But it has to mean something else now because things have changed.
I have to realize that it's not us that talk to each other on our birthdays, it's not us trying to fix things. It's just me. I might hate my jew boss and i might have some bitch neighbors, and on top of that I might be alone for a long time still... But I'm in a much better place than I was then, even if things aren't the greatest, I'm still in the positives. And problems won't arise unless I create them. Is that what peace is after all? I felt empty before and that I would lose everything and not bat an eye. Now I'm on a lease and if i'm feeling lonely I can just jerk my problems away in my satin bed. I have finally made just enough money to live alone. the bar is down at it's lowest and I just lifted myself over it. Shouldn't I be happy?
My lungs are filled with beige and classic coke.
In woman-speak, "I taught them what unconditional love looks like, and she taught me how to self love in her absence"

I really do love him. That’s why this is the way it is. But I know what else is in my heart too. I think I’ll give them space because I don’t want to hurt them. But if they ever need someone to talk to they know where

Weak ass attempt to spin the block
Fuck outta here with that shit

Men are not vanishing, they are retreating. From relationships, from institutional demands, from collective obligation. Not by cowardice, nor nihilism, nor weakness - but by sacred refusal to collude with a world that has hollowed out the feminine into parody, and severed eros from its mythic root.
This retreat is not a conscious movement toward soul, for most men have not heard of soul. It is not a deliberate descent into myth, for most don't remember the myths. And yet it happens. Everywhere.
Men retreat not in search of the feminine within but in search of refuge. They turn away from real relationships, work, education, not because they hate women, but because the outer feminine devoid of beauty, of function, of soul has become unrecognizable. And if given a choice between emptiness and the parody, they choose emptiness. They choose nothing rather than violate what remains of their inner integrity.
But it is there, in the void, that the great possibility stirs.
Even if they do not name her, do not know her, have never met her, still within that emptiness, the anima awaits.
She does not need to be reimagined, reengineered, or "updated". She does not ask to be made familiar to the modern psyche. She need only be seen. Once. As she is. In the dark. Without distortion. Without irony. Without demand.

This act of remembering is enough.

Because where culture collapses, myth re-emerges. And where men descend into the silence beneath language, soul prepares its next eruption. The anima was never meant to be found in daylight; she is born in shadow, dwells in dream, and speaks first through absence.
So let it be said: true virtue is born in darkness.
And when men meet her there not as escape, not as fantasy, but as a reawakening they will return. Not as obedient citizens of a broken world, but as bearers of the fire: visionaries, warriors, poets, and builders, not of new systems but of meaningful life.

This is not disappearance, it's gestation.

>>33391142
Don’t worry. I never blocked my person. It’s like you say they are not here

>>33391072
SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA SAY 'My future wife would never do this.' AND MOVE THE FUCK ON

>>33391072
if you rekindled one last time and things seemed to go good would you stay with her?

>>33391186
>TLDR- maybe, and without risk to my sanity
It depends on the terms she comes back to me on, I'd really have to think about it. I would definitely have to cope like a normie in the sense where I can't allow myself to revolve around her. But if she makes the effort to come back in, I don't mind testing the waters with her. Even if it's an uphill battle, she might be able to impress me. If she does go the extra mile, there's a chance we could learn and grow together. That's all I could ever ask for in a lover. I've been in her shoes before, so what's a little mistake between lovers?

I'm either depressed because I can tell that my relationship is losing spirit or because I have a crush on someone and don't know how to text them (we mostly only talk irl at work).
Either way, I feel hollow, I don't talk normally to people, I'm invited to places but instinctively feel repulsed by it (even though I would go)

>>33391347
You're in a relationship but have a crush on someone else?
Bruh just break up.
You don't like your current partner that much.

>get ghosted after months of a strong connection
>agonize over it for a while, ruminating and having to work through old stagnant emotional shit it resurfaced
>try to put myself back out there too soon
>someone's trying to make moves after some brief established contact and I'm finding I'm not ready
>feel the urge to ghost instead of rejecting them clearly and softly
Damn
The side switch was quick as fuck
Like obviously it's much lower stakes here since it's brand new but the irony of being shown like a scaled down version of the other side of it now is hitting
Gotta not become what fucked me up
I definitely fucked up here and did wrong to offer entry to a connection just to turn it down right away, I think. Need more awareness going forward. Maybe it's not that deep and I'm just connecting it to my shit too much. Either way I shouldn't just ignore

>>33391371
Yeah this shouldn't normally happen. It's difficult, because we're living together and it's comfortable, but I can't imagine my future like this with this person. I just don't feel anything for them. Was very close to breaking up 2 years ago, but decided to try again. Nothing really changed since

>>33391426
Bro, give some respect to them as a person and just cut it off
It's better to end things now than continuing a relationship you're not that into

I wish I didn't have to see you. We bumped into each other by chance, even though I tried to avoid you, and you looked me right in the eye and said nothing. It sucks.

>>33391326
Nooooo you need to say noooo you were supposed to be stronger than this kakarotttt!!!

Whoever said jerking off before going to bed relaxes you is a fucking liar, it just makes you all uncomfortable and sexless. At least when you're horny you can snuggle pillows and feel something.

I will die alone and pretty soon too. Debating what's the best way to kill myself. Any suggestions?

>>33392250
i found the best and safest way but im gatekeeping that shit.

I don't give a shit about White Nationalism/Supremacism, but something I find funny about Anti-WN/WS is that it seems to me a confirmation of its truth.
Nobody gives a fuck about Black/Asian/Jewish/Whatever Supremacy because they know they are worthless shitters, but when it comes to WN/WS, everyone quakes in their boots and screams in terror and rallies in madness to stop the mere idea from spreading further.
It's funny.

>>33391776
Masturbating makes me hornier.
Cumming relaxes me a little.
Getting out of my head relaxes me more.
Filling my day with deliberate action and productivity leaves me tired at the end of the night.

Sometimes I wonder if I would have become someone of substance if I had a father figure or any actual male camaraderie in my life. Instead I've been trapped with neurotic women for nearly thirty years and a mother who reminds me daily how much of a colossal loser she thinks my dad is, and in recent years has started including me in that category. Can I blame this for being an overly anxious mess who's frightened of making phone calls or going shopping or other people in general? Maybe she thinks insulting me and rejecting any of my explanations for why I'm this way as garbage is some weird tough love, but that doesn't really work if you raise a guy telling him life is meaningless and everyone is gonna betray you. I feel like trust is the first building block in developing confidence, and I've been raised to believe that there are daggers in people's smiles.

Nice

>>33391710
Where did you bump into each other?

>>33385304
You're right it did
Here's to hoping that acceptance comes back and stays a little longer each time
Really need to purge emotion right now but my body isnt letting me go over the edge