Thread 33454670

i'm afraid of getting a girlfriend because i have the 'all or nothing' attitude that i need to be the best she's ever had, even though that is very unlikely in current year united states. the only time a girl ever said she wanted to date me i rejected her because she wasn't a virgin. i would want a gf to feel pleasure but i also don't want her to discover anything about herself that might lead her to believe she's missing out, nor do i want to be settled for. i don't want her to think
>i really like spending time with him but he doesn't drive me absolutely crazy like i was in the past
i need to be the best or i won't bother. thinking about it logically, if i know that she could feel better with other men then the greatest act of love would be to let her leave me, right? but i don't want that, and it makes me a bad person. so i need to be the best to avoid that selfishness.

and it's obvious from my post that when i say best i'm not focusing on being a good, empathetic, kind person who makes the gf feel safe and loved, but best in the sense of raw physical desire. i want her to be selfish with me due to uncontrollable horniness. i don't want to just be settled for. sex should have some raw passion right? i want it to be spontaneous not duty sex or sex only out of a desire for intimacy (and society taught her sex needs to be exchanged for that)

>>33454670 (OP)
You shouldn't get a gf, you have too many weird expectations and demands of another human, it wouldn't work out

>>33454670 (OP)

Some real advice from someone who used to think like this many years ago. This is an issue with your insecurity, and a need for validation. Here's what I learned from being in long relationships, mixed with periods where I was hooking up with multiple women.

In terms of "being the best", things don't really work that way. If I asked you to recount the best burger youve ever had, you probably couldn't even tell me. You could probably tell me about a few you've had that stood out in different ways, but you probably could categorize any of them as "the best".

I couldn't tell you the best blowjob iv ever had, but i do remember a girl who would drag her teeth on my nuts, wich felt incredible. I remember a girl who would suck me so softly it was incredible. I remember a girl who would shit talk me while she blew and wanted me to slap her around, which was incredible. Its all just different. Its the same thing for chick's.

So don't worry dude, just get out there, start having fun as tou gain experience, and in the process you'll learn what you like, what other people like, what you want and don't want, and at some point you'll have a number of experiences and realize its all just different specials things you have with different people. That's why its called chemistry, because every element has a different reaction with another. Go have fun dude im excited for you.

>>33455124
You're assuming women think like men. You're also in a different situation than me because you've experienced a woman actually being attracted to you. What if I get a gf and she just starfishes since I can't blow her back out like chad did because of my small penis and lack of sex skills, and psychologically she isn't crazy about me?

>>33454670 (OP)
>i'm afraid of getting a girlfriend
Do it anyway. Being a man means facing your fears and overcoming them.

>>33454670 (OP)
I'm not sure what anyone can say here other than "stop being a fucking idiot". You understand that feeling like this is a serious problem, and you need to STOP feeling like this, right?

>>33456100
i'll just wait for a girl to approach me first, and keep coming back for sex without me iniating at all. that's the only way to know she really wants me around. otherwise she could just be faking her orgasms and exchanging sex for intimacy because she' lonely and society told her that's what is expected of a woman

>>33456124
Women change sex for favors and protection and resources, not loneliness

>>33456127
i only want to have sex with a woman if she wants to cum and thinks i'm the one who achieve that better than anyone else

>>33456067

Theres no assumptions dude, people are just different, thats pretty universal thing you learn from experience. Your almost thinking of things backwards. Your so focused on this end result (being desired and held in high regard as a lover) before you even consider or experience the natural progression of meeting someone and developing a rapport or dynamic.

Its like saying you want someone to see you as a rock guitar god, but you haven't even jumped in to doing show, or writing music, or even practicing guitar at all.

The best thing you can do is be yourself. And thata doesn't automatically mean your going to valued immediately, its a genuine jumping off point to make sure you don't go insane by pretending to be someone your not, and there will be things you discover about yourself, whether by your own discover or through a woman, that you may find problematic and will want to change about yourself, if your open to it.

Ultimately, a woman responds to how you make her feel, but will be able to tell if your trying to make her feel a certain way for non genuine reasons. So I would say focus on yourself, most notably your ability to be empathetic and understanding to others. Once that becomes a genuine part of your personality, people will notice and feel good around you. This gives you the opportunity to connect, and in feeling respected they will give you the grace and wiggle room to legendary as you, even when it comes to developing sexual skills, if that's what's important to you.

Your stressing about what ifs. Just got start, if your bad your bad, if your good your good. If your bad you just keep learning to get better, there is no getting around that.

>>33456159
what about all the research and surveys that show revealed preferences for height, good looks, etc., and research also that says sexually active women statistically prefer men to be above average in height and penis size even when they aren't told what 'average' is

>>33456067
>>33456159

Same poster here.

To add to this. At this age a lot of women find me attractive, and the most i hear about what makes me attractive, is that I genuinely listen and understand people, and the sex is just a bonus. I validate women's feelings, I remember things, I show i genuinely care, I connect on a deeper level than most. Then add in the sexual skill, which i had to learn over time, and they say im so hot. All of these things I developed inside and outside the bedroom, gives me confidence, which they also find hot. Do with this info what you will. I wouldn't steer you wrong dude, your trying rush unearned greatness. Just get out there, trust me.

>>33456163

I don't care about research. Im going by my life experience, stop looking for ways to psych yourself out. Just got out and get started. Bests way to do things. Just do it. Now, go go go.

>>33456168
>at this age
i'm assuming you're older lol
you sound like a rube. i can only imagine her talking with her girlfriends
>haha then i said he was the best lover i ever had because he was so kind and sensitive hahaha

>>33456173
No your misinterpreting all the gold im dropping on you. Im not even close to old, and age isnt irrelevant in what im trying to teach. Its about how developed you are as a person. If yiu want be an asshole with good dick, be aware that you'll attract broken women who have a list of guys who are assholes with good dick, your just a canvas to project her traumas. If you really want to be held in genuine high regard, like open wants, you have to have "good dick" inside and outside the bedroom. Take the advice or not im out herr fucking and gaining respect.

>>33456186
okay so what if i can't have good dick in the bedroom because i'm too ugly, short, or inadequately endowed (to fully satisfy her with or without penetration). i am having no trouble being a friend so this 'outside the bedroom' talk is useless to me. i want to fuck good and make women (ideally just one woman) want to fuck me based on that alone, not be a safe cuck that she settles for (for my 'good dick' outside of the bedroom lol again i have no problem forming friendships with people)

>>33456215

If you just want that based on purely sex, you have to practice, but be aware that half of the game is going to be understanding the specific person your sleeping with. Also the g spot is literally only a few inches up there, if you have a small dick, depending on angles etc, theres always the chance of going hard and hitting the spot every time. Also, some womemn like masculinity in the bedroom, they want to be slapped, choked, hair pulled. Just have a good dick game.

True story, I dated a girl 3 years ago who was a hoe. She had fucked at least 100 guys, and had experience with every kind of dick size, build of a guy. Her ex 2 bfs before had a huge dick, like 8 to 9 inches. She described his dick game as weak, and said that most guys with big cocks had weak game because they thing the size just does it. She also said it doesn't really feel better, just different, in a way that hurts. The guy after that had a small dick, and he made her cum the most times in a session, 2 more times than I did, despite that she still said I was the best she ever had, umprompted, I never asked or cared.

Big dick guy was like 5'4 and skinny drug addict average looking. Small penis guy was maybe 6 feet and looked like the actor who plays gollum. Im 5'9 medium slim, and been described as handsome.

This brings me back to what I've been saying dude, is your worried too much about stats that don't matter. Just get out there, and start trying shit out. But what im also trying to do is future-proof you into a sustainable mindset buly explains that regardless of those stats, that hoe girl cheated on all of us at the end of the day, regardless of our stats.

Even if let's say you end up being crazy good, best case scenario is you gain a reputation that nobody really gives a fuck about, and that eventually will not even fufill you. You'll set yourself up to have an emotional high whenever you make a girl cum, and then hit a rock bottom low once your discarded for everything else.

>>33456124
>i'll just wait for a girl to approach me first, and keep coming back for sex without me iniating at all.
You'll be waiting a long fucking time. Almost every woman in the world will interpret you never initiating as a ongoing rejection and leave you.

>>33456282
So all else equal, what is generally preferred, big, above average, average, below average, small? Just answer the question. I want to provide the most pleasure to a girl, more than anyone else. Stop bringing up confounding variables like face, height, and sex skill

All else EQUAL, what is preferred?

EQUAL!

CARIBUS PARIBUS! what is preferred? Just tell me that. Answer this one question.

>>33456528
>So all else equal, what is generally preferred, big, above average, average, below average, small?
(NTA) Average.

>>33456528

Dude I answered your question in the most realistic helpful way I can. Your trying to force me to answer within this constrained box of context that does not exist in the real world. Your basing everything on a general consensus. Your dehumanizing everyone including yourself.

You think to be most effective you need to know what the general stats are of preference. Its redundant information to you, because all that matters is that you know how to be effective with WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU HAVE. A short NBA player does not concern himself with trying to play the same way about tall player does, he finds what works for him to get the job done.

You are who you are, and you got what you got. Go out and meet women, and learn how to use your shit until you are satisfied with the results. Holy shit you don't fucking listen. End of conversation take it or leave it.

>>33456528
>>33456597

Who cares what someone prefers if you have the skill to introduce her to a new preference she didn't know she enjoyed. Find a way to fuck her well with your small retarded non-listening dick, so that she can tell her friends "this guy knows how to use that thing".

>>33456612
what if she already knows what she wants? And yeah totally some mid virgin dude has the x factor that will change her entire conception of sex forever. Through the magic of communication... You must think that women are like men, and that women think like men. Naive, no theory of mind

>>33456067
You know zilch about women, you are afraid of getting a girlfriend, you have 0 experince yet you seem to know how women think? Please enlighten us. I am married for many years and still wouldn't claim to understand that. Let me hear.

>>33454670 (OP)
Then be alone. Solves your problem.