Thread 33458730

I feel like no matter what I put my effort into, I'm always destined to be mediocre. I'm never meant to be good, at anything in my life
It makes me hate myself for being the truest definition of a loser

>>33458730 (OP)
I don't understand how you got from being mid to hating yourself.
Just accomplish things while mid, and be happy with the way you accomplish things.
You're making up excuses to feel bad. Stop trying to be special, just live life as you are.

>>33458730 (OP)
I won't read whining threads. Ask for advice next time.

>>33458833
Ok let me rephrase
What should I do when being mediocre makes me hate myself, but I don't feel capable of ever being more than mediocre?

>>33458730 (OP)
You're destined to be mediocre because instead of trying to get better you whine about it

>>33458937
You need to change your attitude more than anything
Why do you need to be "good"? What is "good" to you? Do you think that you are just innately not good at anything?

To be the absolute best at something you may need some level of God given talent, but unless you're trying to win an olympic medal or something you don't need to be that good, and it is well within anyone's ability to become good at something given they are able and willing to put in the effort and have the right attitude

>>33459009
I understand that its partly due to that very mindset, but I don't see how to change it.

>>33459009
>Why do you need to be "good"?
because I hate not being good
>What is "good" to you?
Depends upon whatever it is that I'm doing.
Some things I'm fine just being minorly competent in. Things I really care about, I want to be 1% of 1%
>Do you think that you are just innately not good at anything?
Yes, thats kinda where my mindset comes from. I feel like I'm just cursed and can't improve at things beyond a marginal level and then plateau at a middling level.

>>33459133
What is something you really care about

>>33459099
There's not really any magic trick to it. Some people are better at discipline and have a temperament that's more conducive to toughing it out than others, and I think that's where the natural difference between success and mediocrity at any particular activity lies more than any difference in innate talent.

It's just something you gotta learn.
Every time you catch yourself getting frustrated, despairing and telling yourself you're no good remind yourself that it's bullshit and go over the reasons why it's bullshit.

>>33459133
>Things I really care about, I want to be 1% of 1%
Idk what kind of things you're talking about, but I think you have to let go of this mindset because you're probably not going to achieve that.
What will you gain by becoming that good that you won't gain by attaining a more realistic level of mastery?

>I need to achieve ___ and then I will be happy. If I do not I will never be happy
Is a mindset you have to abandon because it only leads to frustration and dissatisfaction. Even if you achieved it, it will feel good for a bit, and then you will feel empty again.

I believe that instead of focusing on some envisioned endpoint where you achieve everything you wanted you need to learn to enjoy the process and take satisfaction in whatever abilities you develop without comparing yourself excessively to others.

>>33459163
Everything in life is a competition though. Dating, work, social status, etc. If you're mediocre or worse you'll never have a good life. You'll always be the guy at the bottom who never gets anything out of life

>>33459171
>Everything in life is a competition though. Dating, work, social status, etc. If you're mediocre or worse you'll never have a good life.

I totally disagree with that.
Competition is a part of the social dynamic but so is cooperation, and we can achieve far more cooperating with one another than we do going solo in hostile competition.

>If you're mediocre or worse you'll never have a good life
I think you need to ask yourself what a good life is and why you think that to be the case.
If your only purpose is to be better than everyone else you'll never be satisfied. Sure people with higher social status will get more or a more attractive partner and have a higher paying job. Does that make them happy, though? All else equal I'd prefer these things, but my satisfaction in life is not determined by whether or not I have them.

Avoid the bottom at all costs because that is miserable. But mediocrity is not the bottom. And just by practicing discipline, putting in an effort to the things you do, and having a healthy mindset you are already well above mediocrity.

>>33459291
Nah he’s right. If you don’t excel at something, you’re gonna have an average life. And an average life sucks. Work a job you hate for your while life while being underpaid and have barely any women interested in you. That’s different than saying that life is a zero sum game though, like cooperating with other people will actually make you more competitive. Partnerships are formed, etc. you, and your friend and your community can win together.

Still nonetheless, as a man you’re gonna have powerless life if you never rise above mediocrity. And a powerless life sucks.

>>33459332
>If you don’t excel at something, you’re gonna have an average life. And an average life sucks
Well the thing is OP seems to be suggesting that the dichotomy is
>Be the top of the top
>Be mediocre

If you sleepwalk through life never challenging yourself or leaving your comfort zone then it's a waste of a life and yeah you'll probably have a shit job you hate, come home to a fat bitching wife and ungrateful kids, get divorced at 50 and drink yourself to death.

I think the point I'm trying to make is that it is not an either or; to be above mediocrity is not nearly as hard as OP is making it out to be, that you do not need to reach that level of achievement to have a satisfying life, and the idea that the only way to be happy is to acquire wealth, women and status via conquest and achievement is severely flawed.

>>33459138
Ok as an example
Back when I was younger, in my late teens to early adulthood, I played league of legends. I wanted to be good at it, because I felt like a future where I played video games professionally was the only way I could live.
I felt like I was bad at everything, that I was so incompetent that I would never be able to handle regular adult life, so its only fair that I could be good at video games, the one thing I've always done my whole life.
Well of course it doesnt work that way. I never managed to make it past silver rank. Which is where a majority of the people who play that game end up.
It really made me feel horrible, and I suffered from really low self esteem during those years. I would just get on and play all day and get upset at my inability to improve. No matter what guides I looked at or coaching content I watched.

>>33459545
I know this old dream was childish. I have since stopped.
But the cursed mental follows me no matter what. I still think of my self the same way. As that guy that wasnt capable of improving and outperforming the average competitor.
No matter what I want to do now. Like learn drawing for example.

>>33459382
I can't even reach a mediocre level. I think I'm just inferior to everyone

>>33461165
That's not true and you know it

Is this a stealth Howie thread?

>>33464327
What is howie?

>>33464301
What do you know?