Thread 33504976

I'm about to end it all. It has been more than a month that me and my ex broke up and I still amnot over her. I've been journaling for days to find out she truly loved me but I had avoidant attachment issues, and that because i was raised in the emotionally unavailable household and dry neighborhood. All I've been doing for my entire fucking life was studying and playing computer games on my spare time. I didn't know the isolation was delaying my emotional maturity until i got into relationship with her. I never knew how I should've loved, because I simply never knew how to deal with emotions. I was emotionally unavailable (as i was raised) to her during the situationship, but she perceived it as "mysteriousity", got attached, then we got together. Then I'll just say shortly, the childhood trauma just never let me be vulnerable to her and overtime, the "mysteriousity" turned into "nonchalancy". I never wanted to get things to the end, but i had been doing the completely opposite thing without even realising. She felt I was never authentic to her, she even hinted me to open up by sending relatable Instagram reels so she could reciprocate, but I never did. Now I know that a healthy relationship is built on trust byproducted from the emotional authenticity. Now I heavily regret the way i treated her... God forbid all i wanted was to keep the relationship alive, but it was destroyed by the same immature retard with something he cannot change.
You guys know what the worst thing is? All the discipline, dedication, consistency and hunger of working for my successful life is fucking gone. I used to be unbeatable at my mathematics club at my junior year, (we even met there) and now I have potential to score maximum on the exams, but fuck sake everything has lost its spark. I will go live on Instagram tonight at 4am (gmt +4) and watch something that is completely safe and harmless happening to me. IG: misanthropearchangel. The account will be public.

>>33504976 (OP)
Men are retreating from relationships, from institutional demands, from collective obligation. Not by cowardice, nor nihilism, nor weakness but by sacred refusal to collude with a world that has hollowed out the feminine into parody and severed eros from its mythic root.
This retreat is not a conscious movement toward soul, for most men have not heard of soul. It is not a deliberate descent into myth, for most don't remember the myths. And yet it happens, everywhere.
Men retreat not in search of the feminine within but in search of refuge. They turn away from real relationships, work, education, not because they hate women, but because the outer feminine devoid of beauty, of function, of soul has become unrecognizable and if given a choice between emptiness and the parody, they choose emptiness. They choose nothing rather than violate what remains of their inner integrity.
But it is there, in the void, that the great possibility stirs.
Even if they do not name her, do not know her, have never met her, still within that emptiness, the anima awaits.
She does not need to be reimagined, reengineered, or "updated". She does not ask to be made familiar to the modern psyche. She need only be seen. Once. As she is in the dark, without distortion, without irony, without demand.

This act of remembering is enough.

Because where culture collapses, myth re-emerges and where men descend into the silence beneath language, soul prepares its next eruption. The anima was never meant to be found in daylight; she is born in shadow, dwells in dream, and speaks first through absence.
So let it be said: true virtue is born in darkness.
And when men meet her there not as escape, not as fantasy, but as a reawakening they will return. Not as obedient citizens of a broken world, but as bearers of the fire, as visionaries, warriors, poets, and builders, not of new systems but of meaningful life.

This is not disappearance, it's gestation.