Thread 33526530

I've been dealing with this BPD chick for a while now. I've dated them before but this one was in therapy when we met so I got suckered in. I know,im a fool. But I must ask whats going on? We use to talk consistently all the time and lately shes been pulling away. I offered a date, she gave me some possible reasons she may not be able to go, but then said she'd let me know. I haven't reached out at all and its at the point where if I dont reach out, it feels like we'll just never speak again. Chances are she won't "let me know", but I'm still at a loss. I keep telling myself that she's different when in reality she isn't, although she is significantly more pleasant and appealing than my 2 BPDemon exes. We haven't even fucked yet, Am I just being stupid?

>>33526530 (OP)
It'll be different this time

>>33526548
I second this guy, she'll be better than the last girls, keep going man, keep waking, wake up man

>>33526548
>>33526629
I truly appreciate the sarcasm. Internally I know I'm a retard. But I didnt find out until I was already emotionally invested. That's the problem. Assuming I stick to my path of retardation, how would I navigate this?

I'm currently doing No contact until she decides to reach out, and if she doesn't then that's that. The only way I can lose is if I break and simp out, or if she actually contacts me. Which I doubt

>>33526670
You haven’t even peepeed her. Wait until she begs you to fuck her before you say another word to her. You’re welcome lil nigga!

>>33526683
I appreciate the advice but I'm Chinese. Chigga is more appropriate.

You're being a tard. Stop being a tard. Ghost the bitch and go get some ass. If that bitch wants to text you, she will text you. Move on. Plenty of girls out there, better ones too.

>>33526530 (OP)
>one was in therapy when we met so I got suckered in. I know,im a fool. But I must ask whats going on? We use to talk consistently all the time and lately shes been pulling away.

Well let's assume in good faith she is a recovering BPD, and she actually goes to her therapy a d she learned all about her deep-seated emotionally abusive trauma responses that she inflicted on others while on autopilot, as BPDs often do. Then it's probably that she's afraid to get into relationships our if fear of herself and fear of returning to old habits that she worked to try and break.

Getting BPD in remission is doable, what's harder is for that person to trust that it's gone.

>>33526670
>I'm currently doing No contact until she decides to reach out,
You claim to have 2 BPD gf before yet you don't know that she will NEVER reach out? They fear of being abandoned. And you just reinforced that delusion. She won't reach you because she is 1000% sure that you don't want to hear from her anymore because she hurt you and don't even have to live if she hurts the people who she likes...
Learn how BPD works, please. I recommend Dr. Daniel Fox on YouTube

t. ex of 3 BPD gf and also haver of BPD traits.

>>33528125
If this is the case I'd be so proud of her

>>33526693
ni hao gege. ni weisheme xihuan bpd girls

>>33527314
That seems like the best advice. We were close for a while then she suddenly went quiet. I can't make her want me, only time will tell.
>>33528125
She pretty much stopped going a month or so after we started seeing eachother. Months ago.
>>33528193
I know how BPD works. I already know I'm being retarded. Like I said tho, I'm emotionally attached. What advice would you genuinely give though? I've had BPD exes resch out after a few weeks just to see me, early morning drunk calls, etc. So you clearly aren't as well versed as you belive yourself to be. You'd be better off watching Casey Zander's YouTube channel. Cuts right through the bullshit. But according to Corey Wayne, im dealing with the "Illusion of Action", a.k.a Anxiety. If this doesn't work out, im staying single, I dont need the inner turmoil.
>>33528848
你已經死了

>>33528945
>She pretty much stopped going a month or so after we started seeing eachother. Months ago.

So she relapsed then. BPD that's not fully treated yet means a relationship causes them to relapse. Not your fault. Relationships to a BPD is like alcohol to an alcoholic. They need to stay away and maintain therapy for a long ass time before trying again. Usually takes anywhere between 2 years to 13 years. Depends on the BPD. Depends on their own efforts.

>>33528945
>I've had BPD exes resch out after a few weeks just to see me, early morning drunk calls, etc
Lovebombing. The BPD lovebombing is worse than NPD one because the bordeline really feels that way. They need to be with you all the time (object permanence iussue) and knowing where you are. And if it will be too much (because it definitely will) they isolating themselves becuse they don't understand how can be too much of love. This is where the deevaulation phase begins. Since they don't think they done anything wrong, must be the partners fault. And when they make him/her run away their fear of abandonement get reinforced again until their cippling need of connection not get stronger again.
Most people see only the red flag outside, but their life is truly sad from their perspective.

"I'm scared to get close but hate being alone
I long for the feeling to not feel at all,
The higher I get, the lower I sink
I can't drown my demons they know how to swim"

>I dont need the inner turmoil.
With BPD it's guaranteed, sorry (unironically, really sorry). They can be angels but you need to be a rock to endure if she turns to devil. And If you are calm enough her feathery wings coming back at least for a while.
And this is my advice (becuse maybe I am a jerk but I am here to help for some reason): be as calm and emotionally stable as you can be.

>>33529027
This happened to me by her and worsened by others.

I wish I knew. I would of flown down and been there for her.

>>33526530 (OP)
What the fuck is going on in this clip?

>>33529027
People always write poetry about this BPD/NPD shit. It’s not that deep. BPD is just a person with an inner child that’s become an inner demon, the demon of abandon, of emptiness. They run away from their broken home. And NPDs are just people with an inner demon of control, of anger and fury. They try to control the home from breaking instead of letting go.

Just two fucked up kids in adults bodies trying to revisit the Hell they were brought up in out of some futile sense of undoing the past. Nothing more to it than that. Just humans stuck on cyclical loops that repeat the same song. I honestly dont think humans should even bother giving those songs their labels ‘bpd/npd’. Cuz songs should be full length tracks, not the same droning melody repeating on a 3 second loop for 10 hours.

>>33528945
Don't ever get emotionally attached to a BPD woman. Man why would you do that to yourself?

>>33526629
I enjoyed this post

>>33530936
glad you did haha. don't look behind you when you're facing the wall

>>33526670
>I'm currently doing No contact until she decides to reach out, and if she doesn't then that's that. The only way I can lose is if I break and simp out, or if she actually contacts me. Which I doubt

hi OP. this is the only thing that is making me happy that I'm waiting. I am single and I hate being alone but I'm also happy that I am waiting for the right lady.

>>33528945
If she stopped going to therapy a month before meeting you, then it's full-steam ahead to undo all of her progress if you want her to to be continually reaching out. I answered something similar to this last week, and my advice was very much appreciated. I think it'd do you well to follow the same advice as I gave to the last guy. Picrel, evidently.

>>33531020
I never do, I like feeling the presence naturally (you too btw bb)