>>33556408
That sort-of sounds like BPD but not quite, could very well be ASD autistic spectrum. Both of those disorders are very similar you know. Autism is frequently misdiagnosed as BPD frequently. Both BPD & Autism share:
>Fears of abandonment
>People-pleasing and people-seeking behaviours
>Masking their true persona and mimicking social patterns to 'fit in'
>Having no felt sense of a true persona underneath, both don't exactly know who they even are mentally
>Both have hypersensitivity, emotional stimuli feeling at 200% volume, feeling like their very being is like living without skin, everything hurts and overwhelms them.
>Both constantly struggle with feeling hollow or empty inside.
See how easy it would be to misidentify and autist for a BPD with similarities like those? That's why you should be assed to go and find out. Because if it turns out you are ASD and you tell people or believe yourself to be a BPD then you will falsely inherit all of the stigma that comes from that. You already know how people perceive BPDs and how most people despise them. If you fall for identifying as one you'll end up villainizing yourself and it'll cost your sanity even more.
The difference between the two is that the BPD intends to hurt others on purpose, they sabotage relationships on purpose and know exactly why they do it. They do it because they want shit to resemble their own familiar sense of chaos and pain, so they feel at home. Where as the other is simply super anxious and self conscious and convinced they are boring/bad/weird so they always run away from things out of fear of fucking it up (which ironically fucks things up)
