Thread 33608214

You guys say lower your standards for physical attraction and go for character. So I did that and the man got mad at me when I told him oh you would look better if you lost weight since you are borderline overweight but I am dating you for your personality anyway.

Are you guys gaslighting us? How is this not emperor's new clothes? I need a man who is intelligent, realistic and honest.Asking someone to date you despite your appearance and then also demanding them to not be honest about it is literally emperor's new clothes

>>33608214 (OP)
It depends. Either the guy is weak and can't take criticism, or you said it in a demeaning/condescending way and it's your fault. I wasn't there.

>>33608227
I mean I get it what you are saying. I asked him before I said that if he I trying to lose weight and he said he was so I thought it was ok

>>33608214 (OP)
> you would look better if [...]
> I am dating you for your personality anyway.
a normal person would infer from these 2 sentences that you're not attracted to them physically. sounds like they would be right.
nobody wants to hear this, especially from their partner.
just pretend or dodge the topic

>>33608230
You probably would've gotten better results if you said "good for you" and supported him by cooking him healthy foods and exercising with him. That is what positive femininity would usually look like.

>>33608234
I hear you but one

Why do you guys then tell us to do this (not dating for physical attraction)when that is literally the logical conclusion of that practice?

>>33608242
I don't mind that but you know I want to date someone I can be open with

>>33608214 (OP)
You need to be physically attracted to them. Don't lie to yourself. I know someone like this where she basically convinced herself to be attracted to him. She talks trash about him every time I see her he's almost a joke to her in some ways. I think you lose respect for them eventually.

>>33608214 (OP)
Not every man is the same, just like women.
The incel telling you to lower your standards isn't the fat bloke you casually roasted

>>33608252
Being open doesn't mean you have to share every shitty thought that goes through your head.

>>33608214 (OP)
Are you genuinely autistic? You don’t tell anyone you care about that they’d look more attractive if they do x. Imagine if he told you that you’d look more attractive if you fixed your fucked up face but that he’s with you because he likes your personality. If you want him to lose weight suggest it in a kind way or get into lifting together

>>33608253
I guess I mean rn I am mad at their personality for other reasons so I don't feel sexy about it but I think I can be attracted to him if things go better
>>33608254
You are correct, then how do you navigate it
>>33608257
I want a partner that I can even do that honestly
>>33608310
1. I would get the plastic surgery
2. I don't mind being supportive
3. Yes I am diagnosed with autism

>>33608214 (OP)
Hey I know this is extremely difficult for autists to grasp for some reason, but, if humans aren't a goddamn hive mind. So if someone on the internet says one thing, that doesnt mean everyone universally also thinks so, so you shouldn't be blown sky high out of your socks when you go follow thwt advice and someone else doesnt behave exactly in line with what some retard on the internet said...
Like, guys, holy fucking shit. Get off computers for like a week.

>>33608328
>I want a partner that I can even do that honestly
Um anon, no one does that. If everyone shared all of their deepest inner thoughts, there would be no relationships at all. Everyone has intrusive thoughts that are useless to share.

Theres a problem ive noticed with a lot of average to below average guys is they have been psychologically beat down so badly, so totally, while also being put in a a position where they have to date women who have 100x the SMV they do at any given moment, and could very quickly get cheated on, that the stress and past tear downs make them impossible to date. Anything can set them off. It literally doesnt matter if women lower their standards to 1950s levels, they had to have had their standards low from like 12 years old onward not 30+ onward. Because now these guys have zero confidence and zero life skills and zero anything and they fucking know it. I see this in myself too and i try to fix it as much as i can but i know i am still a manchild from all of this. The perfect woman could literally show up on my doorstep and i would ruin it within a week.

I have zero idea what the fix is for this. I think raising your sons to have more confidence and keeping them off the internet as much as possible is probably the first thing. As for the guys who are already like this the only thing that will fix them is insane amounts of success and self improvement and even then, i dont know. They are fucked, we are fucked. I expect it to have severe affects on dating in the future.

>>33608328
>You are correct, then how do you navigate it
vibes

>>33608214 (OP)
>"The man I dated is an idiot therefore all men are idiots"

Are you even sentient?

>>33608382
I mean you think so since the guy in the op told me his one gf begged him to stay when he broke up with her and that he got women hitting on him in general so that is why I don't also get why he got mad at me

>>33608214 (OP)
You just veted and filtered a guy and now you are complaining?
>>33608310
I see no issue with it as a man.

>>33608214 (OP)
>oh you would look better if you lost weight since you are borderline overweight but I am dating you for your personality anyway

I'd be mad too if you rawdogged a statement like that out of the blue.
If he asked? Sure, better than lying I guess.
Chances are he knows he's a chubby fucker and doesn't need you to confirm that for him

>>33608395
Autists are incapable of feeling vibes. That's why they're autistic.

>>33608214 (OP)
>I dated an ugly guy for his great personality and character
>the first time he got a mild amount of constructive criticism, he gott super buttmad at me
I guess his personality and character weren't good after all.

>>33608214 (OP)
>oh you would look better if you lost weight
sure, I'll take it, probably wasn't meant harmfully
>since you are borderline overweight
okay, didn't need to go there but still maybe It's just an observation..
>but I am dating you for your personality anyway
bruh

>>33608227
>Either the guy is weak and can't take criticism, or you said it in a demeaning/condescending way and it's your fault.
I can't see a universe where this is said and It's not mean, unless this guy is used to being bullied and appeasing his bullies.

I personally, don't care who you are, you say something like that to me you can be Stevie from Good Mythical Morning and I still would not give a fuck about you anymore. like what kinda thing is that to say to someone

I'm literally seething and malding right now and having a panic attack and I need my pacifier and my CPAP machine ;(((((((((((( and my pills and my dolly and my egf who sleeps with me on call omgomgomg :(((((((((((((((((((((((

>>33608214 (OP)
>and the man got mad at me when I told him oh you would look better if you lost weight since you are borderline overweight but I am dating you for your personality anyway.

>idk man hoes be crazy she got mad at me when I told her oh you would look better if you lost weight since you are borderline overweight but I am dating you for your personality anyway.

>>33608214 (OP)
Just lose some damn weight, sheesh. Who’s the one gaslighting? You don’t need to read into everything so much.

>>33608214 (OP)
Nigga are you autistic? You dont tell people you are dating them for their personality. How would you feel knowing that guy is probably dating you for your looks? Because you clearly have a shitty personality.

>>33608214 (OP)
The point still stands about going for character. That guy just has shit character.