Thread 33842981

I (22 F) have been seeing this guy (23 M) for a little over a month now and he became my boyfriend around a week ago. He's been good to me so far (ie. values commitment, pays for everything for me, is always telling me how beautiful he thinks I am, always seems to put me before him, etc., seems very obsessed/focused on me) and I feel like we really understand each other from an emotional standpoint.

Neither of us are that experienced sexually. So far, we've done things that are sexual in nature (ie. dry humping, making out) but not penetrative sex.

The problem is that he asked me the other day how long it's going to be until we have sex and was asking if it's just that I never want to do it. This is the second time he asked this (he had previously said he'd wait however long I wanted)

I said that it wasn't true that I didn't want to ever, and that I'm just not ready yet. He said he wasn't sure if he could wait a long time period like a year. I asked him if that meant that if I didn't have sex with him in the next few months that he would not want to see me anymore. He responded that he was attached to me and that he didn't want that, but that if we keep doing what we're doing without penetration, he might get blue balls, and that it's hard to control himself. I started crying since I was upset and he went back to saying he'd wait.

I offered to try oral sex with him and it was horrible for me (it tasted terrible (like a sweaty sock bean boozled or something) and made me gag) and he didn't seem to enjoy it much.


I don't really know what to do-- he seems great in every other way and I don't want to lose him or hurt his feelings. He also keeps questioning mid-way through whether I'm into making out/grinding with him. I don't want to make him feel inadequate over this.

learn how to suck a dick

>>33842981 (OP)
he's being nice in order to get what he wants

Hey /adv I bought this dog and he keeps wanting to eat. It’s really affectionate and never bites, but I just don’t feel comfortable giving him food. I mean I wave meat in front of his face so he knows it’s there and I even tried giving him some of my tofu with his water, but he didn’t seem to enjoy it. He’s starting to get a bit aggressive and it scares me. How can I avoid ever doing one of literal the few things I signed up for when getting a dog?

>>33842993
>>33843312
don't listen to those pests. their goal is to bring our world to ruin and to destroy everything that is beautiful in it.

>>33843369
A man and a woman fucking is literally the point of nature you moron. Don’t wanna fuck? Go be a single cat lady. Don’t want to get pumped and dumped? Date for marriage only.

>>33843389
fuck off zoophile. people aren't only their primitive instincts. go kill yourself

>>33843398
I mean primal is wanting to fuck , but if this shit is so serious from her standpoint then might as well make it permanent and tie the knot or sth , cause why would you be in a emotionally draining sex deprived relationship for nothing

>>33842981 (OP)
I hate women. A lot. But any guy saying he'll break up with you after a month of no sex is a fuccboi. You're a virgin, right? Then break up with him if he's not respecting your choices. Again, I hate women, but this time you're in the right. Tell him you don't have sex before marriage and see how long he takes until he folds.

>>33843483
>if your bf is nagging you for sex then marry him
whatbis wrong with you

>>33843509
I mean if you put it like this kek

>>33842981 (OP)
>you've been seeing him for a month
>been together a week
and he's already impatient? run.

you shouldn't have let yourself be pressured into oral sex after being with him for a week if you are not comfortable with this
you barely know him.

You’re a whore for giving him a blowjob. And he’s a scumbag for trying to pressure you into sex. Any guy should be happy with just making out and dry humping. His blue balls don’t matter. You can tease him as long as you want if that’s what makes you happy. It’s sad that you chose the whore path, though.

>>33843507

you know you really need to run when a fucking misogynist says this guy is not cool lmao

Also the way this anon needs to reassert that they hate women (T-T)

>>33842981 (OP)
The problem isn't him wanting sex.
The problem is YOU, telling HIM, you aren't ready.

What the fuck does that even mean? "Hey faggot, I'm not ready, sucks
to be you". Open up your cunting mouth, and form words to explain
to the guy why he should wait for your dumbass.

"Hey, I'm a stupid bitch with a smelly cunt. Sometimes I want sex but
I don't want to have sex, because I'm a fucking stupid bitch. instead of
working out my feelings like a fucking grown woman, I want to keep
pretending my teddy bear is married to me and I let it fuck me in my
cunt, but make-believe like. Can you just be a dick-in-a-bottle for me,
forever? Also, your dick tastes like shit. LIke, it's fucking disgusting
and by extent, you are too. Tee hee"

That's what you sound like. I hope you get a massive yeast infection and
it travels to your kidneys and you end up dying.

>>33842981 (OP)
honestly, this is probably a wrong place to ask.

Every dude you let dick you down lowers your market value, like a rental car. Why would he buy the cow when he gets the milk for free? Make him pit a ring on it before he can stick a thing in it. Get some self respect lady. Geez you're parents must have hated you for you to be 22 and not know this stuff. Thank feminism and free love for brainwashing a generation of women into thinking that doing the exact thing that devalues them makes them "powerful".

jesus christ the replies in this thread are terrible

you've only been dating a week. it's way too early for him to pressure you into sex. he likely either has an unusually high libido or he's using you. either way, it's wrong of him.

have a proper discussion on it with him, and if he tries to guilt-trip you, use the "blue balls" excuse, or pressure you, then that's a sign he's definitely using you and you should dump him.

Don't wait too long. The maximum should be a month, any longer than that without sex, you are just friends and not a couple.

>>33842981 (OP)
You can wait as much as you want
If he forces you to have sex in the first week he is a fuckboy

>>33842981 (OP)
No sex him. If sex he leave maybe stay but left emotionally.

>>33842981 (OP)
>pays for everything for me
Would you still be interested in him if he split the bills with you?

>>33842981 (OP)
you sound like an annoying bitch, desu

>>33842981 (OP)
OP, why don't you want to have sex? I am NOT saying you should, just that it might make things clearer between you if you could offer a clearer answer than "I'm not ready."

Are you physically afraid of the act? Are you afraid it might disappoint you and spoil your romance? Do you fear he will lose respect or love for you? Is it some arbitrary religious or parental rule?

And what do you think will magically have changed on that morning you wake up and say "I'm ready"?

Legitimate questions you should legitimately ask yourself and then share the answers with him

>>33842981 (OP)
It sounds like you just don’t like him that much. Why wouldn’t you want to fuck him? Do you not get horny? It’s literally in our DNA to want to mate

You guys shouldn't be having premarital sex, it's a sin and damages you in the long term

>>33842981 (OP)
I'm confused as to why you don't want to have sex with the guy.
Sounds like you are enjoying the attention you receive but don't find him attractive enough to put out.
I never invest in women. If she is interested, she will have sex right away. If not, she is just using you. Chad never pays a penny.

>>33845747
Based and this
Every GF I’ve ever had fucks me within the first three dates, sometimes on the first “real date.” This has included virgins that ended up staying with me for years.
It’s actually weird to me that people will date for months before fucking. I mean, if she’s a girl and you’re a boy, you should want to jump each other’s bones and get to baby naming if there’s true compatibility

>>33842981 (OP)
>1 month in
>no sex
Yeah that means you don't actually like him or respect him and are still weighing your options. He's doing things that make your pussy stay dry. Girls have no problem sleeping with men they just met IF they like him. He probably pedestalizes you and will do anything to fuck you instead of just being normal.

You are with a beta.

alright I'm a 31 year old man with over a decade of relationship experience so let me give it to you straight:

this guy wants you but it seems you don't want him.

sex does not need to be strategized. it should be natural. ask yourself very honestly if you feel sexually attracted to him. emotional companionship is a part of that but sex is a different realm. if you have to convince yourself to do it, you don't want to do it.

he's a young dude. I was a young dude once. if a girl didn't give me what I wanted, sure I'd wait around. but if it was obvious she was never going to, why would I stick around? any guy who claims he still wants to be with you, when sex isn't on the table, is simply planning his escape.

search your feelings for the truth. do not second guess. follow your instincts and you'll make the right choice for the both of you. I wish you well and hope it works out.

OP you're asexual and should leave this man and find another asexual. Let him find a girl who likes sex and all will be happy. You should NOT have sex if you hate it.
All the replies in this thread are retarded.

23 M here with lots of dating experience,

Sex is scary the first time. It is incredibly intimate. I love to have sex now, but I understand why you are hesitant. My first time was with a girl who ended up being emotionally abusive, so I have my regrets. But overall, it was good for me and I was able to learn about myself through intimacy. It's a beautiful thing.

BUT if someone is pressuring you, it obviously is a turn off. Tell him he's being a beta by being a whiny brat who is turning you off. The more he asks, the less sexy it is. You'll be ready when you want to be....

>>33844095
No that would make him a rapist

>>33848097
>let’s have sex
>rape!!!!

>>33842981 (OP)
Everyone is ignoring the biggest red flag here.

> but that if we keep doing what we're doing without penetration, he might get blue balls, and that it's hard to control himself

He's either threatening rape or cheating. You've been dating for a week. This is insane.

>>33848116
Idk what to say to this, except, find yourself a nice Christian man.

your bf is a beta lol

>>33842981 (OP)
Get drunk with him you dumb bitch
holy fuck

>>33848116
Kys

Blue balls IS a real thing and it IS a real, physical pain. Don't touch him at all if you don't want to see thing to it's completion. Maybe also hide your hair and rest of your body to not tempt him

>>33843369
Ahhh, the beauty of the frigid woman! Only that gives men that constant latent aggression that results in road rage, murder suicide and spontaneous outbursts towards service employees.

>>33843312
Can you shut up. Not every women want sex

>>33843969
yall in the comment section are horrible. Its wrong to preasure a women to have sex. NO MEANS no and theres nothing wrong with it

>>33842981 (OP)
The replies are honestly horrible but its 4chan. Men hates women and will tell you that in every reply.

If he doesnt respect your boundaries then you should leave him, its okay to not feel ready and if he cant accept that then hes just a sex addict.

Love and relationships are about trust not sex, pls dont listen to these incest in the thread. If he loves you then he will wait and If not then you will find someone who truly loves you and cares about feelings more than sex

>>33844365
You sound like you never touched woman desu

>>33845554
>to want to mate
No its not? We are humans not animals

>>33847264
THIS!!

>>33842981 (OP)
Why do you have to destroy this guy? Tell him why you're not ready, you make it sound like you dont like him. Wtf is he supposed to assume other than he turns you off

>>33842981 (OP)
He isn't entitled to sex and you aren't obligated to give it but it's also perfectly reasonable for him to want it. Neither person is right or wrong, he wants normal sex it's not like he's asking to tie you up and fuck you in the ass. If he's brought it up twice it isn't going to get better or go away. You have to determine if it's worth losing him over. If it's that important to you then he isn't the right person if he'll leave over this.

Sex is a normal expectation of a healthy relationship and for men specifically it is what helps us bond with our partner. Despite what some women would believe it's about more than just muh dick.

Also, oral takes practice. Let him tell you what feels good and follow direction, it's his dick afterall. It's hot as fuck to train a girl on giving you good head. Tell him to wash it first, if he gets offended hes a mega faggot.

>>33848097
I didnt mean forcing in the literal term

>>33843079
This. Someone who will break up with you over sex is only in it for the sex and doesn't care about you as a person. Dump him and find a better person who actually loves you

>>33843312
Don't listen to idiots like this. They feel they can con girls and a feeling like sex is a necessity and more important than the person themselves.

>>33843985
It's funny to ask here tho

>>33849315
Idk if I want to try again-- it fr tasted like the sweaty sock bean boozled.

>>33849607
Then dont do it, feelings are more important than sex

>>33845791
Same. Almost every single relationship I've been in and I was fucking by atleast week 2. I get a month is short but in my experience women don't play around when they actually want to fuck you. They may act coy because it's not in their nature to act first but most women are horny rabbits for the men they actually do want to fuck. Hell I've gotten strange pussy from co workers and these women hardly knew me outside of the job. Sounds like OP's bf just isn't that nigga and she's trying to bomb squad the situation despite the fact this will probably end due to him being too pushy and her bullshitting. Many such cases. Even my virgin gf in college lost it by the 3rd week of us dating.

>>33845810
I've had women sucking my dick after just 2 hangouts, not even dating, so of course OP isn't sexually attracted just attention attracted

>>33842981 (OP)
Funnily enough I was in this kind of relationship around a year ago. I was with her for 3 years since we were 19. Didn't even care for sex personally but I enjoyed her presence a lot and she was telling me how she wasn't ready (She was a virgin, and was very much a home-body neighbourhoud-girl-next-door type). Later she dumped me and gave me the whole "It's not you it's me" then a month or 2 later she lost her virginity to a guy more Chad than me (I'm like upper normie tier, take care of myself and been lifting since I was a teen but there's only so much you can do when you're up against Chad).

Talk to him about his previous relationships, perhaps he developed some sort of trust issues and went through something similar. And, if you're intropsective enough, be honest with yourself and question why exactly you don't want to have sex. I get it's very early in the relationship, but perhaps you just don't see him as a sexually viable mate despite loving him, and that can be a very confusing but very possible reality. Wish you all the best.

>>33848788
Blue balls isn't a big deal. You're making it seem like this horrible thing but it's really just a slight discomfort and it goes away pretty fast