Thread 33873805

Hey everyone, i met this woman a few months ago at a speed dating event.
We've established boundaries, what we want in a partner, intention for marriage etc. One of the boundaries was that we're exclusive. When I met her, I was on and off talking with this other woman. Things were on the way out with that other woman but i never formally cut her off, i just ignored her. She eventually told me she would be comfortable if I either talked to her to cut things off officially (even though things had already died as we last spoke about 3-4 months ago) or block her. I ended up blocking her because I really don't care about that other woman and only like the girl i'm talking to. She felt satisfied and things went back to normal.

cont.

and

>>33873805 (OP)

A few weeks later, she introduced me to a visual novel called "My Sweet Housemate". She just gave me the name and asked me to guess what kind of game it was and I said "Its either a horror game or a dating sim: and she went "Well you're half right, its a horror-comedy"
Basically, you move in with some landlord who ends up being a serial killer cannibal and you just end up living with him cos "Lol le rent is cheap" but of course you end up being friends with him and in some endings can romance him. I will say most of the endings aren't based in romance at all but large swaths of the game have you and him having intimate conversations about his past, etc. Most of the game is comedic but there is a sincere effort to humanize this serial killer and a large appeal seems to be hanging out with this handsome Korean man.

He's a typical dark triad type of guy. Just a really corny character shamelessly aimed at women. I don't have an issue with this but i mean i feel if i sent her a dating sim where you date a bikini model she might not be too into it. So yeah, I feel like this might have dipped a toe over our established boundary? I also want to reiterate this isn't a BIG deal just something I think might be worth discussing with her when we talk about the game. Just stuff like "So youre into the yandere type, huh? XD" as like a little tease and i can just suss things out.

What kind of concerns do you think would be legitimate if you were in my shoes?

TL;DR: Girl I'm in the very early talking stage with wants to be exclusive but sent me a dating sim she really enjoyed a few weeks later. Wanna get a third opinion.

Soon enough Maria and I will have all of each other

>>33873818
I would have no concerns whatsoever. She sent you a silly game that she plays, it doesn't mean she actually wants to bang a serial killer. I guess you should tell her that you feel dating sims are a no-go

>>33874122
Thanks man, and yeah you're right.

I guess I just felt like she was being hypocritical since she like, suspected i still had feelings for that other woman when I really didn't but then she sends me something like that. I think that's why I felt kind of weird about it but I'm mostly ok and I'm excited to talk to ehr about the game since I bought it recently. i don't really think dating sims are a boundary for me its more so the "hypocrisy" (so called, I could just be overreacting).

>>33874195
Just in general, I would not worry about hypocrisy. Yes, being a hypocrit is bad, but don't let things bother you unless they actually bother you. If you don't care she plays dating sims, there is no reason to get upset over it or to pick a fight; there are only negative outcomes from doing so. "They have to follow the same rules they make for me" will only lead to unnecessary unhappiness

>>33874223
>Anonymous 10/30/25(Thu)12:07:52 No.3387
REALLY good advice. Thank you so much, I'm going to be remembering that. I've been working with a therapist to improve my self-esteem and I've always been scared to discuss legitimate boundaries we have without letting my insecurities seep in. This situation felt like something that i was on the fence about discussing but you nailed it when you said "If i don't care that much, just dont bring it up. There's no point."

Thank you again, I won't lie it's tricky to sort of balance between "Don't be so strict with making things even and balanced" and "Hypocrisy is bad" but I do understand there are grey areas and from what I understand, keeping ego out of it is key..

Murder simulator leads to real world... yadda yadda

>>33874277
What I mean is that, generally, being a hypocrite is a bad thing. People do not like it.

But you, in your relationship, get to choose how to react and I find that hypocrisy and unfairness are not usually good topics for arguments. Boundaries don't have to be equal or fair or reciprocal, they only serve the purpose of allowing you to be comfortable and happy. You and your gf can have different boundaries and that's okay

>if i sent her a dating sim where you date a bikini model she might not be too into it
Choose her response:

a. Cool game anon
b. Lame and gay
c. This is objectifying women
d. You need Jesus

>>33874341
Yeah I need to contextualise boundaries in that way. I'm still figuring this stuff out but i need to settle insecurities I may have. Thanks again Anon.