Thread 33875310

I don’t know how to clearly phrase this but what is important is that I am 21 next month and female.
I’m autistic and never done anything with myself because I never had the incentive to and couldn’t socialise. In many ways it feels like I haven’t started my life yet. Part of me wants to start in a youthful way, to dress and be like a teen girl because I never really got the chance and it’s in line with my personality and interests. I don’t want to be a ‘woman’, I want to be a girl if that makes sense. But the fact that I am getting older terrifies me. Even if I start now I’ve only got a few years of this youth left if I’m not already getting on. I don’t want to be acting young when I’m too old or jealous of younger women, I already want to go back to being a teen. I know I’m young but ageing is different for men and women.
The other option is just to keep on going as I am. I’m essentially cut off from society outside of my job so ageing wouldn’t bother me as much when I don’t have to worry about looks, acting too young or expressing myself in a way that puts me at the mercy of other’s criticism. I’d just have to repress that urge for some form of girlyness.
It’s a dumb dilemma and I don’t know how to phrase it into an actual question but it has also given me grief for years and stagnated my life in a way. What’s the best choice?

>>33875310 (OP)
Independently of what you choose you have to have in mind that obsessing with youth will eat your mind quicker than you think, because it's not something that you can control, times goes only forward and coping with that it's the recipe to just wanting to kill yourself.
In reality I feel that you should question if it's youth really what you want, maybe it's want to feel pretty? Maybe you want to have the free time? Maybe you want the attention that you think teens gets? Maybe maybe maybe
I don't think it's a dumb dilemma because everyone at some points looks at the past and wants to go back for one reason or the other, as a general advice I'll say that if you keep thinking about stuff you can't change, it will make you hate yourself, jus try to focus on what you can actually do

What do you want advice for? You are just venting about aging and lost time. We all feel that way. Be more specific about what you are looking for.

You want to socialize? Make friends? Women can just ask anyone and give their number out. Take the initiative. You have all the social privelege in the west right now, so if you meet someone YOU want to be friends with, YOU as a woman can make that happen almost guaranteed. You have no reason to dawdle and nothing to lose my approaching someone, asking how they are, or reaching out to make something happen. It's all in the woman's court. If you're failing to act, it's on you.

I don't care how autistic you think you are. If you are not ugly, or bottom of the barrel gross, no one, especially no man, will tell you no to a phone number. It's actually very rare and endearing to see a woman put in effort now. You only have to try, and I fucking assure you, you will have it ten times easier to socialize than any man. You only have yourself to blame for waste time when you aren't putting yourself out there socially. You have GUARANTEED options ffs

>>33875332
Thank you but I’m not sure. I’m not trying to be obtuse, I really don’t know what it is about youth that I’m so desperate to cling onto. I think it’s a mix of looks, still wanting people to take care of me instead of being alone and having a childish personality anyway.
>>33875352
Sorry I couldn’t figure how to phrase it when writing. I think I am just asking if it is worth still trying to experience that kind of girly youth I always wanted. But then I remember how I’m getting older, most people have had years of great experiences and relationship building that I didn’t have and I don’t want to be too old to be acting this way.

>>33875310 (OP)
So you wanna be a little girl again?

>>33875310 (OP)
I feel the same way OP.. Im scared of getting old even though im 18 this year, I really wanna meet someone that will take care of me but I dont know where. People at my school are so boring i need to search somewhere else but im shy and never started coversation

>>33875310 (OP)
Get with an older guy so you always feel young. Not that I believe you are a woman or girl because everyone on the internet is a man.

>>33875510
>I really don’t know what it is about youth that I’m so desperate to cling onto.
Being honest with you, that's the nice part about having those kind of problems, trying to figure out yourself, experiment with stuff until you get something that makes you happy, at least for a moment

>>33875310 (OP)
kamikazeshortbus is like 35 and it's working for her

>>33875310 (OP)
Autism (if you really have it and are not just using the term loosely) is NOT a death sentence. It just means that you have to work at some basic social skills that most people can do easily or instinctively. That makes socializing hard, but NOT impossible. If you give up completely and cut yourself off from the world, that will be YOUR choice and not the autism.