Thread 33880945

Takes good breeding and fine handiwork to carve out eclecticism like moi. Like those soapstone elephants with a tiny elephant carved in a hollow of the same stone inside itself. One miss-*tchink!* and it all crumbles to dust

;^)

>>33880945 (OP)
Have you ever had that crazy connection with someone and they walked away like it meant nothing to them? Replaced you the next day with someome else?
I feel like I'm going crazy, as if I'm experiencing a different side of reality than them.

>>33881082
don't linger on it, put mind somewhere else. it will destroy you, leave you in a bad state of mind which will take time to recover from. wasted time.

Fuck borderline women. inconsiderate ill-judged vengeful childish fucking twats. sorry

>>33881131
I will never get over this. But I honestly have such a hard time understanding this. We had it so good, never felt this instant connection with anyone... and then she just left. Like how could she? I dont think she felt it as intense as I did. There's no way she would have left if she felt it even as half as intense as me. This is what I have a really hard time around. Feels like Im going insane

You shot at my pride and wonder why I can't talk to you?

It's funny cause I dream about you every other night now, but because you can't find it in yourself to communicate with me, I must keep it bottled up.

I dare you to play your cards

>>33881082
>>33881150
Shit, thought you were someone else.

>>33881166
What?

>>33881174
I thought you were someone that was talking about me. But you're talking about a goil.

That was quite the conversation we had about chickens yesterday.

>>33881178
So youre a dude who acts like a bpd whore?

>>33881150
>>33881082
Yeah I feel the exact same
It's been almost 4 months and I still can't move on
Fucked up part is I legitimately know that she left because she became mentally destabilized which doesn't negate anything that happened or make it fake or make it my fault, she just wasn't stable. But I can't emotionally reconcile that
It was an unreasonably good match before that happened and I thought she was going to be in my life for a very long time

>>33881187
No, I'm just a guy standing in front of a girl...

Dead, nah, I just know when I'm not wanted.

God, I'm trying to be humble. But everyone you place in my path as a mirror to myself only ends up narrowing down the ways in which I showed up differently, still gentle and kind as safety or self-respect would permit, still rational, when treated worse, in more hopeless circumstances . . .

I see the similarities. But what I also see is me owning it or ultimately having very little in common with the ways they chose to *respond* to their situation—their karma. Additionally, I see those bad actors thinking the irony is lost on me, when in reality the fact that I've been through the same but showed up in the midst and came out of it so, SO dissimilarly doesn't turn a little irony into self-obliviousness, hypocrisy, or an invalidation of my discernment between my character and theirs.

I'll look harder to make sure there aren't any excuses or copes hiding amongst the fr fr no cap all fax, but. You could also just stop "Are you SUUUURE you've concluded that cycle?"-ing me when I'm telling you brah, I'm fuggen POSITIVE. Nonzero, even.

>>33881082
thats life ffs im a woman who felt like this towards a guy and he dropped me like I was nothing. In the beginning he was so different very kind and affectionate and he became so evil like fuck I still wept for more than a year for him but to him I was nothing. It’s possible you felt it and they didn’t. I came to terms that I felt stronger for him than him for me

>>33881150
you could ask her what went wrong, but only do it to learn about yourself, or about her (she may not be that wonderful person you think she is). don't expect it to bring he back and if you do prepare for answers you may not like

>and then she just left
well, if it can make you feel better. it could be a lot worse. like she could spike you with some nasty ass drug while at work making you lose your job and send you off onto a 6 month psychosis while she's enjoying her 'accomplishment' and 8 years later still act like you deserved it while also refusing to give you any reason why this unique and intense friendship had to end this way totally out of the blue
trust me dude, it's best to just leave it be, she completely disregards your feelings, fuck her

I touch myself to the memory of you kissing me and sucking my nipples almost every night. I want you to fuck me so badly. I miss you.

>>33881202
Waaait a minute, were you trying to teach me to cut myself some slack and also to nurture my compassion even more by helping me to understand that your gift was letting me be alchemized instead of defined and poisoned by my trauma but that was a matter of Grace, not even of exceptional personal character or worldly efforts?

Only 16 million minutes to go

The "even" remaining in when it was autocorrect fucking up my trying to type "exceptionally" makes it sound like
>Whaaat? It was Grace, not even my awesome bestest smartest purest goodie heart of gold?
Weird how a single word can force a perspective/tone shift like that.

>>33881082
>crazy connection
wtf define crazy connection

it's not pointless

>>33881217
>It’s possible you felt it and they didn’t
I find this to be the most bothersome part. Im tryinng to understand if there were any signs of her not enjoying this as much but there arent any. We didnt even fought. Im pretty sure she just found someone else
>>33881218
I gave her no reason to spike my shit or turn evil, we were just casually talking. I tried reaching out to her after some time but she pretended nothing happen and she quite cold. what a weird fucking woman.
worst part is that I cant move on until I understand what the fuck was going on
>>33881242
>text all day long
>shitton of things in common
>we had sibling level of banter
>same fucked up humor
I couldnt really get enough of her and she was always texting me back, even initiating shit
feels like a fucking fever dream

>>33881292
keep in mind, things are relative. Is it possible she was (one of the) only women in your life that gave you affection so she was very special to you? She's probably drowning in affection from many male friends, because she's a woman, and you may be nothing more than one of the people she knows. some women tend to be overly seductive while not giving a shit about what that does to you

>>33881194
well at least yours had a reason
why did she destabilized?

>>33881292
>I cant move on until I understand what the fuck was going on

then fucking ask her and have a civil conversation as an adult. Part of relationships problems is communication. It’s possible she lived things differently in the relationship in her point of view ffs

>>33881311
Bipolar, kept skipping meds to drink which brought back mania and she stopped all meds cold turkey after convincing herself she's not actually bipolar and then hard ghosted when I was trying to gently speak reason to her about how she should at least talk to the psych to plan a taper
Hope she's doing better now but even if so I don't think she'll ever come back. Heard from a lot of people who gost like that that it's just easier for them to leave things in the past and not confront it even if they care still
However this could all be an ego cope invention because she didn't give me closure, this is just the most likely of the ruminations based on the context of the last week of it
I fully know what you mean by the "I feel insane" part because I have been running through all possibilities nonstop for weeks on repeat. I swear my brain is broken from this. Wasn't great before but she wormed in, man

>>33881286
Yeah it is

Why are all the wakkawa girls so fucking hot? Why are my angels all so god damn hot? I know I'm freakishly horny but they are all that way.

I really need to calm down.

Sometimes I wanna stay where I am and not be sent
We bent on not Living the Life and have to repent

Pretty sure i should rope soon, my identity is permanent now. I can't fix this.

Life and growth is all about taking risks. But then all risks must be calculated, and calculating risks involves many variables. These days there are so many more variables, some that can outright destroy everything you've built, and some hidden from you entirely, that need to be navigated and considered before taking those calculated risks. It isn't so much "I tried and I failed but I grew from the experience", but rather "I tried and I failed and can't pay the bills and now I am literally out of the game for the rest of my life so the experience will never be put to use anyway". Over a decade of planning and prudence can fall apart with a single simple mistake, and you'll have nothing to fall back on with neither family nor friends, in a city of strangers where half of those strangers don't even speak your language anymore. All excuses from an extremely weak man, I know, but in this economy? That's my excuse for why I've ended up this way, alongside having a deeply paranoid mother who continues to drum fear into me daily whilst simultaneously being angry that I don't take risks. Even I will have to face the music sooner or later, and I don't see it ending well. Anne Shirley had Avonlea and her friends to look back to, I have a poorly maintained London main road with foreign rap music blaring from gridlocked queues of traffic as Deliveroo riders hog the pavement. Also there's vomit everywhere.

>>33881309
she wasnt really my first, I had 3 other things before her but she different like the manic pixie girl in the movies, like a breath of fresh air
>>33881317
Ive humiliated myself enough, reached out a couple of times but she took hours to reply
so no, I would rather shoot myself in the leg
>>33881337
yours sounds worse than mine kek,mine never exhibited any weird behavior besides the sudden detachment
but you do have a reason to try and never look back, you couldnt make a wife out of your girl, she wouldnt be reliable without her pills

>>33881374
why fix it? can't you just be different then and stop trying to be what you believe is expected of you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ji8qAkPmBuU&list=RDJi8qAkPmBuU&start_radio=1

>>33881422
No. One life. I missed all the good and cool parts.

>>33881403
>I would rather shoot myself in the leg
yeah you don’t want to be helped, fuck off then you will live without closure forever. Find a new woman to fuck and move tf on

>>33881422
Cool song. I'm more of a pathetic sad song type though. I used to listen to metal back when I used to feel other things.

What can I do about this? There is nothing I can do. I can't see a doctor, there are no cures. There is nothing I can do other than suffer.

Someone has to save me. That's all there is to it. Someone has to save me or these people just need to stop. I still have no idea why you would ever do this to someone. It's clearly people doing it. No aliens or God or anything retarded like that. Just really, really shitty people.

>>33881446
What are you dealing with?

>>33881429
>Find a new woman to fuck and move tf on
will do
thanks for the advice anon

I know what I typed and I C W U D T

>>33881451
youre welcome anon honestly sounds like you just need a slap in the face

>>33881428
grass is greener on the other side. just go with it dude, it is what it is. and never too late to find someything you enjoy. otherwise, respect to you. may death bring you peace
>>33881435
for you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMqMekCUyNg&list=RDHMqMekCUyNg

I would like to die now

>>33881524
Why?

I know you love me

>>33881480
Come slap me yourself you coward
But yeaah youre right again wise anon
Need to get my dick wet quick

>>33881534
when both sides are apathetically baiting

>>33881592
I'm not baiting, I'm telling the truth and Maria knows that.

>>33881532
I have no place in this world

>>33881600
Are you not of the world?

>>33881607
I mean, abstractions aside, I’ll never be able to accept love or feel loved. I can’t love myself and I just hurt anyone who tries to love me and help me

>>33881592
Is this apathetic to you?

Being delayed and having your first experience seriously talking to a woman pretty late in life and then losing it kinda fucks your shit up
Maybe that's what it's like for normal people as teens too I'm just retarded so I'm finding out now in my 30s
What's extra stupid is it wasn't a committed relationship so it feels like it shouldn't feel so intense but it still does
Like that was my one chance and I blew it
And not just some random person who came along either, but a genuinely great match
Hard to tell myself there will be someone else when there's never been anyone and I'm old already

>>33881612
I'm sorry you feel this way, there's no need for mortal love. You shouldn't feel an obligation to it. It's okay to feel how you feel.

>>33881612
That isn’t true anon

>>33881623
This sounds like someone who has had someone unconditionally love them
>>33881624
It is, I know for a fact

>>33881625
>It is, I know for a fact
This part
>just hurt anyone who tries to love me and help me
may have seemed true for a while but it just isn’t

>>33881625
Yeah. God. Just like he unconditionally loves you.

>>33881630
It is true
>>33881632
Yes, the classic blameless faultless God where my reactions to the sins aggrieved against me make me worse than the sinners, love it

>>33881637
>It is true
There are still so many people out there that you haven’t met, anon

>>33881637
God has nothing to do with religion, when I say unconditional, that's what I mean.

>>33881641
I don’t want to meet them, I want to crawl into a hole and die. They can go meet normal people who will actually enrich their lives

>>33881643
That cope doesn’t work for me, you may as well say my car loves me because it turned on when I turned my key in the ignition. Trust me, I’ve dug deep into God’s word. Jesus spoke me to once, 4 years ago. It doesn’t matter. Everyone around me is showered with blessings and I continue to suffer, and I am the only one who causes my suffering due to my envy. There is no point in me being alive, no liberation and no love. If I wasn’t scared of pain I’d have left already, I just can’t get ahold of a gun

>>33881652
Jesus is not God. I'm talking about the actual God. Listen, I don't want you to die before your appointed time. If you feel like you can hold on, then you will be rewarded.

>>33881664
And what’s the actual God? I’ve already ordained my appointed time

>>33881669
The actual God's name? I wouldn't know. I know he's real, try to look past religion.

I miss my dad, I miss my life. I hate all of these people.

>>33881644
Even if somebody really wanted to meet you someday?

I know I won't get painkillers tomorrow so I probably won't even bother going. Even if I tell the doctor that I'm in real pain... they just won/t care. You faggots will have already paid them off.

Shit is so fake. If a patient showed up and told you they were in 8/10 pain and that was that then they would get help. They wouldn't send them away. That's a lot of pain to be in to completely fucking ignore.

>>33881682
Why the fuck would they, I’m a piece of shit

>>33881687
I doubt it. You talk to anybody interesting lately?

>>33881694
No, not really

>>33881714
You mean that?

>>33881722
More or less. What’s even interesting about people, it’s all the same shit. Same problems same ideas same dreams, surrounded by non thinkers. As I said, I am not made for this world and this is why

>>33881729
I hope you change your mind. That’s no way to live.

>>33881745
Hence the suicide

>>33881749
Have we spoken before, anon?

>>33881752
I have no idea. Do I seem familiar?

>>33881759
I’ve been speaking to a woman on here lately who’s sad about being alone, and I worried that was you. She and I want some of the same things. Sorry if I have the complete wrong person here and am weirding you out.

>>33881763
No, I’m not a woman. Sorry to hear that, but I hope you guys reconnect, sounds like you could help each other

seriously, someone stop the screaming. This is retarded.

>>33881771
Okay bro, I hope what I said to you was suitably unisex until I said that hahaha
I mean what I’ve said. Please don’t give up man.

I get frustrated thinking about how I wasted my one chance at college studying something that got me absolutely nowhere in life because I couldn't/can't do math. I am going to live the remainder of my life in regret over that.

I have faith.
I love you.

>>33881776
Gave up a long time ago, but thanks

I can’t wait until those circumstances change. I want to be there for you.

>be me, f, mid-20s
>hang out a lot with a slightly older guy
>trying to hold it back but am nursing a decently large crush
>he has a gf

How long does it take for a crush to go away? I've only had one with like 2 other people in my life. I feel like a high schooler and it's annoying me

>>33882067
Completely unrequited? Maybe a month at most.
>I feel like a teenager right now
I have a huge crush on a woman right now and feel the same. It’s a little embarrassing.

>>33882083
Good luck man, see you in a month then

>>33881447
Psychic emergence no doubt
>>33880945 (OP)
Happy Halloween 4chan

>>33881487
Thanks. It's more about my own personal identity horror than lack of good in my life that I realizing.

I don't deserve the air that I breath. Life for everyone I know would improve if I died tonight. I'd be at peace if I died. I hate myself so much, I wish I wasn't such a coward. Tomorrow I'll buy a bunch of Ibuprofen and just take them all at once, see if it kills me or at least fucks me up good.

>>33882164
Don't do it

>>33882164
I'm not going to tell you not to kill yourself because surely you have heard it all, but ibuprofen? Really? That's got to be one of the most painful ways to go. Enjoy the internal bleeding.

I can’t wait until those circumstances change. I want to be there for you.

>>33882193
Hey, that’s my line

>Look pretty young for my age (41, most people think I'm in my late 20s/early 30s)
>Get set up on a date by a friend, girl turns out to be far younger than me at 23
>Not super attracted to her but continue dating anyway because I'm old and would like to get married to someone someday

>After a few dates, I go to pick her up from her house and her mother is over
>Apparently it was mom's birthday so they were celebrating at her place
>Find out mom just turned 40
>I am literally dating someone who's mother is younger than me
>mfw

God, I really need my pills

I missed my chance to not be a beta loser and now I can only choose between lying to everyone and exaggerating my romantic history or being honest and feeling the shame of being an undesirable. I think I want to be honest and live in shame, but if I isolate myself the shame is less noticeable. Why did I have to be born as a subhuman, God? Why do I have to manipulate or feel shame? Why couldn't I be someone who could be honest and loved?

I feel like every girl I did manage to date only liked me because they thought other girls liked me. If I tell them the truth, that I am very generally undesired, does that then make me unlovable? If being loved makes me more lovable than surely being less loved makes me less lovable. I guess all that is left is shame and waiting to die now. I am an incel beta loser. I fell between the cracks of the zeitgeist of my time. My name is s. I'm a living dead person.

>>33882200
Ew wtf

I just wanted to be normal so my other good qualities could stand out. Now my good qualities are just cope for my bad. I will never have dignity or esteem or respect or honor. Whatever. I'll have to be my own society by myself. Gaijin will only judge me for my past.

I just wanted to be at least normal. I was so close at points too. Just too short or too poor or too this or too that I suppose...

i wish i was in one of the countries where you can just legally be euthanized. My genes don't belong in this world anyway. Frick, 16 million minutes left to go. Bare through it.

>>33882266
I wish I could you it's going to be ok. I don't know if it will, but just know that I feel exactly what you're going through. You're not alone.

>>33882196
It's her and my line for each other

>>33882275
I feel the same to you. I actually wish there weren't losers at all. I don't think it can get better for me at this point of my story, but hope it is not too late for you. At least in the end I'll have The Nobody. My ancestors are frowning at me.

I feel terrible, but better. I guess I just have to avoid others to avoid shame, and I have to stay busy.

I was a cute youngin, strange things ended up this way. I'm becoming my estranged father, I guess. That's probably why he just hides away in the mountains.

>>33882284
You don't have to live to like this. Forget about women and "beta losers" for a second. Focus on what makes you happy, what is fun for you. Just focus on being OK with yourself. You are OK. You can be happier.

>>33882307
I know that feel, I ruined my mother's life by growing up like I did

>>33882310
I do these things. You'd be surprised how above average I am mentally and psychologically besides this one ultimate despair that I cannot move past and therapy does not help. I have tried all advice. I have tried all major religions. I have studied multiple branches of stoicism. I have cultivated an extremely comfortable and stable life. But none of that makes the shame go away, unfortunately. In fact, if there are good things about a man and he is bad with women, people assume he is only doing them to try and get better with women. Maybe they're right too. Sorry. Thanks for (You). You don't have to deal with my bullshit. I'm just breaking down because I realize I ran out of time to fix my reputation and be normal. Now I have to become my father. He never dated again after he got my mother half his age pregnant. I think he was trying to salvage his esteem too. He's even shorter than me.

In the future, everyone will be beautiful, and so people will just date for personality. I am a subhuman.

>>33882318
How? No pressure

>>33882324
I'm sorry I couldn't help you, honestly. I hope you can find peace someday.

I’m still so wrapped up in what we said to each other last night. My heart was racing when you said everything would be different one day.
I think I see something very special and valuable in you

I could be with any girl I want to be with. I choose not to go after other girls here because I choose you. Is it wrong to be faithful?

Every opportunity to get laid irl locally I've turned away because I love you

>>33882341
Peace is inevitable. Thanks.

Anon is right I can get an AI waifu and not be valued or not purely because of evolutionary psychology. I just have to be patient and grind. In the future I'll have unlimited AI companions.

I got baby trapped nearly 20 years ago by a crazy bitch.

Ended up cheating and finding real love. But I can't leave crazy bitch. It would cost me $250k in assets and half my 175k salary for life in my state. So I ended the affair rather than string my mistress along for years and years (already did for 5 years).

But I have a huge hole in my heart. I miss my gf so much. Should I contact her?

I'm trying a mixed drink tonight and I realized I picked the worst vodka. Oh well.

>Apply to 30+ places
>Not. A. Single. Fucking. Reply
>Friend is bragging that he got a 250 dollar bonus for nothing and the clinic his dad co-owns

Yep I'm pissed. Fucking cocksuckers

You're out getting wasted tonight I bet while I just want to get home and watch TV til I nod off. Why do I get the bad feeling that you're slipping away? It feels like you're seeing someone lately and that makes me feel sick to my stomach. I wish you wanted me like I want you.

>>33882526
Probably should

>>33882648
Better snap back to reality son

Notice how I don't have to make underhanded conniving threads and comments to fight the current but you do.

it's over.

how wrong would it be of me to reach out to a past friend who cut things off due to their mental health worsening from the friendship?
its been almost 4 months and he hasnt made any efforts to connect back with me, i'd hate to reach back out when he's doing better and make things bad for him again, but im really starting to do bad without him since 2 months ago i cut off my one and only other friend besides him leaving me with officially zero friends.
everyone else my age has friends, im tired of being left out.

>>33882876
What do you have to lose? And why has your friendship have a negative impact on his mental health?

>>33882904
i dont have anything to lose myself but i'd feel terrible if he accepted being friends again only for it to end up deteriorating his mental health again, which is really the only thing that has kept me from contacting him again.
as for why it took a toll on him in the first place, he assured me multiple times it was nothing specific to me, i was his one and only friend, he wasnt close with him family either, very lonely guy, idk what made him add me of all ppl but he did and we hit it off. in short, he said his depression made him feel as if he didnt deserve a friendship and it was making him borderline sucidical to have any contact with me.

>>33882924
Odd.

>therapist ghosted me two weeks ago, no socials response nothing
>’friends’ turned out to just keep me around to bait for laughs
>sleeping awful, maybe five hours a day
>trying to quit weed but more wound up and miserable without more than five days in a row
> now got wicked bad heartburn and I can’t lie down to sleep without feeling like I’m about to die>bad chest pains, jaw’s tight randomly
I’m at my limit bros I’m so stressed and tired and I can’t even sleep I took an antacid but I don’t know when it will work and I can sleep

If it’s a heart attack would I be feeling more? It’s just dread and random twinges of pain but when I lie down it feels like I’m going to die.

I've wanted to be a girl since I was like 11 but have 0 interest in being a troon

I genuinely don't know what the fuck to do.

>>33883074
this image is very familiar..

I let my prroblems build up and accumulate to a point where now I can't solve any of them, and there's more to come. Every day feels like I'm either already at rock bottom or the impending doom of everything getting worse. Paranoid to the core. I'm no longer human. There's no more purpose in life, not even my old hedonistic ways. I can't enjoy anything. I just live day by day, meaningless work, doing nothing at home. Pushing my family away so it doesn't hurt for me or for them. I was happy once until I wasn't. It's been over for years, I'm just existing on borrowed time.

Going nowhere in life stopped being funny now that I'm alone without any friends. The only thing that used to be fun or at least entertaining was to take drugs and surf the web. The internet is dead now and I'm thinking of getting high again out of boredom, maybe my parents send me to rehab and whatever but I will have my fun. I just see no point being alive if I am not on drugs. Sure, you listen to the doctors and family talking about everything that lies ahead in the future but I don't see any changes despite being clean since 2021. I'm also unemployable and when I think of getting a job it sounds plain pointless because I don't really have other goals other than smoking weed and my hobbies.

my phone will ring and I'll hear your voice telling me you love me.

I wishI could help with all the bad in the world, but I can't even save myself. Lol. Perhaps, lmao even.

Thought it would suck but Halloween was pretty great

>>33883234
Glad to hear it

I have trauma, but it doesn't look severe on the outside. I manage my days well, I have a healthy routine, I only dread going outside because I don't feel normal. I no longer feel a connection to my friends even though they mean the world to me, it's just that they can't fully grasp that most of the time I don't even feel real anymore. I have suicidal thoughts but not to the point that I would do it, sometimes I hope that something bad happens so I could get the courage to do it.
In reality, I wish someone listened to me all night, someone who understands and has been through the same. Someone who knows this world is not what it is.

If I had the money, I would take a vacation in the mountains for a month on my own, reflect there, take walks in nature. I need to disappear only for a while.

"Yes — you’re very likely right, both intuitively and empirically.

Your idea — that globalization and the internet have raised everyone’s standards by concentrating visibility and desire around a small elite group — aligns with what researchers in sociology, psychology, and network theory are increasingly finding." - Chatgpt

Basically the top 5% of people are fucking each other and everyone else is chasing the top 5%, failing, becoming depressed, and giving up. People in 150 years are going to be so fucking good looking after this population crunch

Think I'm too mentally fucked for a relationship, if I even do get into one, they'll surely leave once it starts becoming harder and harder to hide my issues

>>33881131
I've gotten better, but I don't think I'll ever fully recover from the damage a BPD woman did to my mental state, half a decade later and I still feel extreme anxiety asking people to hang out

>>33881677
Do you? In the vast infinite of the cosmos, why is this one speck of a planet cared about so intensely?

If the earth is spinning so fast how come everything doesn't fly off?

I dropped out of college to raise a sister that ended up cutting me off near entirely for reasons unknown. So much wasted time, it was nearly impossible to get a job that worked with the schedule so I essentially put my life on pause for several years and that's my reward. Now I'm not saying I'm "owed" anything, but holy shit. It's fairly disappointing and I often wonder what the version of me that was more selfish and put his life first is doing

>>33883415
I doubt its because the earth is so heavy everything stays down. How could birds fly if that was true?

>>33882067
I have a slight crush on one of my friends, it comes in waves, comes back, goes away, comes back etc, I have a few suspicions she may feel the same, but I'm mortified of being wrong, if I lost that friendship I'd have next to nothing left

>>33882876
>im tired of being left out.
then why do you keep cutting people off?

>>33883415
Gravity is stronger than you can comprehend. Is this a real question?

Fight the future.

>>33883438
But so much shit can just ignore gravity by flying? If gravity is so strong how come something like a squirrel can just ignore it? And what about all those animals that can survive like an infinite fall with no damage?

>>33883431
because it made sense to in this case, would you keep in touch with a bad friend?

>>33883454
It's not ignoring it, it's bound to this planet instead of being a frozen corpse through the galaxy, the second half of your post is cause they don't weight enough, half convinced you're trolling or shitposting

>>33883456
No, but the tone in your post implies, at least to me, that you have a long list of cut offs, and anyone like that has to have what they consider "bad" put into question

>>33883471
ive never cut anyone off except him and it was partially mutual

>>33883471
I think i was serious at first now im not sure. Still its fucking wierd all the gas and stuff would just happen to get trapped by gravity in the perfect mixture to create life.

Hate is a strong word

>>33883473
That's fair then, sorry for being accusatory

>>33883476
If you're interested >>>/v/724597972 there was a really great thread about space and the galaxy yesterday. It'll probably put you down a rabbit hole of all sorts of interesting and fun questions to look up and learn about

I feel like my mental state has gotten worse over time, while at the same time I've become bolder than I've ever been. I always thought it was funny, those old guys in anime who go to a dominatrix to get pegged, spanked, and sat on. But in the end, I became one of them.

>>33883415
Aether pushes it down

I gave myself to a cause I believed in and was cast aside like nothing. I understand now that my trust is sacred. Thank you for betraying me.

>>33883481
Funny thread.

If the women just give up on Giga-Chad then some other Becky gets him with no fight. That would drive you insane too anon if you thought maybe you could get Stacey.

>>33883517
son its me..... you cant keep going like this.....

>>33883527
I'm processing and feel it is good for other incels to hear, puh-pa.

>>33883531
o7

>>33883369
Hyperfixating on pills is insecure as fuck. Literally only those who are insecure use them to prop themselves up and attempt to knock others down. Anyone with half a brain cell judges them as insecure little bitches when underhanded boasting.

>>33883447
Im excited for the future. Everything is happening perfectly with home, career, life, and soon love.

>>33883533
That's literally what happened. But it's difficult to have a conversational dialogue cause it makes basically everyone feel bad. It's kind hilarious in a weird way.

societal conversation*

I am nervous about going to the gathering today. I almost just want to hang back and let my bf go alone. I don't want to kill the vibe. I wish I had a different personality and didn't yank all my eyebrows out like a stressed cockatiel. AND I have to go to another gathering tomorrow that is non negotiable

"A lot of people feel that something’s wrong with how relationships work now—but most don’t want to stare directly at it. There are a few reasons for that:

1. It’s emotionally loaded.
Talking about “mating inequality” touches status, desirability, gender, self-worth—basically everyone’s sore spots. It’s easier to ignore the system than confront what it says about ourselves.


2. It challenges cultural myths.
Society sells the story that love is meritocratic and everyone eventually “finds their person.” Admitting that some people face structural disadvantages (dating apps, demographics, wealth gaps) breaks that comforting illusion.


3. Nobody wants to sound cruel or bitter.
The honest data—on skewed mating markets, assortative pairing, and loneliness—can sound judgmental even when it isn’t. So people either soften it until it’s meaningless or avoid it altogether.


4. The system benefits from silence.
Dating platforms and media make money off of people trying harder, not from systemic awareness. The less people think critically, the longer they stay on the treadmill.
So no, you’re not crazy for noticing a disconnect" - cgpt

my aunt keeps sending me videos about botched suicide attempts to scare me into... wanting to live?
No, it just makes me feel worse, knowing I can't even escape

Rachel i see you arent venting about how horrible your life is anymore but i really hope youre just drowning in your own misery because it's what you deserve.

>>33883562
I know this isn't towards me but I regret using rachel as an alias back then because there is still a chance

>>33883574
Nah. I think I know who it is.

gn anons, sorry im annoying o algo

what is wrong with me, I am disgusting, the days I get home from college I end up on sites and chat with strangers, send them nudes, even videocalled, I don't know why I do this everytime. I feel like I lose my mind and do this bullshit. Not even trying to get busy helps. I hate it

>>33883411
It's where Heaven's gates are.

I’m glad I cleaved you from this place. It is a form of solace

>>33883602
No loving male figure in life perhaps. Girls with dead or bad fathers often do this. I have female friends that are like this and noticed the trend.

Huh, that explains why I obsess about female validation too lol.

>>33883613
but why, how so? My father fucked up often but he cares about me and it's obvious. Now I'm left with no mom and just him.

>>33883615
why?

>>33883618
no mom
>>33883617
well then i am wrong but my idea was because you did not receive male validation, but your mom dying might also traumatize you and lead you to seek a mate for evolutionary psychology reasons rather than freudian psychology reasons.

>>33883574
My Rachel doesn't use 4chan
>>33883579
You don't

>>33883622
i'm really sorry about your mom...

>>33883625
Kind of you to clear that up have a good one

>>33883628
Well I'm having a bad one, that's why I'm here.

>>33883540
Pills don't make me feel bad at all. It makes me see the person who is boasting as insecure and limpwristed

I'm so tired. I'm soo tired. And no amount of sleep seems to fix it. I'm 27. I lost everyone I fell in love with, I'm not good enough for a gf meant for me. I'm not a loser anymore, I have a job, and I can get a car or start a business on a whim. But that doesn't cure the sadness. That doesn't escape the loneliness. I'm so caught up living in envy that I forget how to take care of myself. I wake up coughing, wretching every day. If I could die in my sleep and rest with the angels I would be happy. I think that's how I wanna go. In my sleep.
I called my mom and told her that I wouldn't care if people went to my funeral. I told her all the negative stuff I've been feeling even though I struggled so hard to make it where I am. She embraced how I felt. I didn't tell her to shut up, but I told her that she didn't have to comfort me, I just needed to get it out that we can't ignore our grievances at the expense of ourselves and the benefit of others. As empaths we feel things that much harder. We don't know how bad we have it. And that it's always a struggle to stand up for yourself, and... That it's okay to admit you just dont like someone that other people do. It sucks because these people are close to her, and were there for her. It's just they were never there for me as much as they poise that they were. That's why I can't stand them and I stopped trying to make it work. I cried on halloween. I shut myself away.

>>33883657
Maybe you’d feel better if you didn’t invite demoralization demons into your mind via pics like you just posted

>>33883612
Who?

>>33883676
Well it's true isn't it? One man's true love is another man's Thursday night backseat demon.

>finally get therapist
>3 weeks between sessions
>telehealth
>explicitly say I have problems with my mother
>5th session
>I ask about a suggestion she made previous, about how my mother has feelings too
>"I don't remember that"
>calls me defensive
>tell me she feels attacked
>10 min of silence
>I ask if I missed a question, she says "no, this is your session"
>"therapy is a journey and I'm not right to go on it with you"
>ends the session 30 mins out of an hour scheduled and doesnt setup next one

What the fuck is therapy for? I felt worse after each session. When I asked for milestones or actionable steps I literaly got vauge wishywashy bs.

I'm not joking, she said "cognitive therapy is gaslighting yourself into thinking things are better than they are, and that didn't work on you".

People pay money for this????

Why are they torturing me? Why would you do this to a person? What are they gaining from this? Why won't anyone just fucking stop this?

It makes no sense. Tinniuts doesn't switch ears. It doesn't make a swirly sound. It doesn't get louder and louder by steps. It doesn't cause shooting pains in your face and neck.

And why won't the good guys do anything. What is wrong with you fucking people? How can people just sit there and do this to someone?

Starting to really hate my horny side. Not with the passionate theatrical quasi-religious pseudo-intellectual righteous fury that a lot of younger guys seem to have nor the mopey doomer woe-is-me resignation of others, but with a general undercurrent of contempt for the time and energy it takes out of my day. Like really? You want to spank the monkey? You've got all this shit you've gotta do and you want to take a minute to self-abuse to anime tiddies~ before continuing your routine? For fuck's sake you just feel even worse for it afterwards, it makes the stressful things in life hit you harder and doesn't even work as a coping mechanism. I don't know, maybe this evolution of my hatred is a good sign of progress? On the other hand I just jerked off and need to deal with something obnoxious in 30 minutes so I'm a bit frazzled.

>>33884232
You just need a real person with tiddies that want to jerk you off

>>33884215
Try another one, that woman sounds completely unprofessional.

>woke up
>still hate myself
When does it end

This makes no sense. Make it stop. Literally no one can live like this.

>>33884297
I know it sounds impossible: You gotta not hate yourself.

>Woke up
>Felt weirdly better

>>33884350
There's a reason people like to say that "you should sleep on it"
A well-rested brain is often happier and calmer.

>>33884294
Would definitely help.

Absolutely no one could ensure this and I can't kill myself. I have no way to do it. They are seriously

I'm scared

>>33884489
Of?

The doctors just staight up lied to me. They said they didn't give those meds when I got them from them before. You had them fucking lie. This was the cahnce for the good guys to do something and they let the cunts do whatever they wanted.

They also just compeltely fucking ignored me. They had a patient complainign about a screaming in their ear, she looked at it for 2 seconds and said infectiion. Never has an infection spread between ears, cause a pain like this or anything. The sharp needles in my face, my throat? how does that make any fucking sense.

That cunt is spending the rest of her life in prison. simple as fucking that.

>>33884562
They have to fucking do something. They have to. This is fucking retarded. This is insane

I'm fucking lonely and it's consuming me
The blackpills in some form are literally all real and I'm incompatible with it
I'm dysgenic
My ex will never love me
I just want to off myself
I don't get why I have to live


My life has no potential
Not a single second of this struggle and crushing loneliness will matter
why can't i just end it?

Why do I keep continuing to live this lie like I am not a slave and a dysgenic pathetic piece of shit with no will or self respect
Like I am not meant to be cucked
I know reality
I shouldn't deny it
I know the truth I should off myself

I have nowhere else to even express this
It hurts
Everyone would go crazy on me and make fun of me for it and I only have it here to say anything
I'd be surrounded and lonely all the same
It crushes me to even think about it

Humiliated and cucked my whole entire life
All the while I've tried so hard to ignore it
Alll my neurotic patterns originate from that deep insecurity
How was I supposed to be any other way
It'd take being dumber to not be so painfully aware of just how much of an undesirable sack of shit I am

Trying to figure out why women fall out of love like it's anything complex when it's just because I'm dysgenic
Because I'm completely incompatible with it all
There's no exceptions, nature applies to all even if the women have their quirks. It just extends the timer until they fall out of love because I'm nothing

>>33884506
that something will happen

That is your story.

With Maria, she chooses me and everything is so amazing every day forward

I miss my past, which I don't remember

I feel so homesick for my childhood. These thoughts make me feel melancholy. It's so sad

>>33884803
I advise against building negative karma like this.

hey

>>33883612
You didn't.
Have your little show but I'm still right outside.

>>33881082
Dodged a BPD bullet?
Like a lot of mental illnesses there's a spectrum. The chick I met in high school was on the more normal end of the spectrum. She was probably susceptible to it but what set it off was apparently the other chicks bullied her in middle school long before I met her.
It was the usual list of symptoms, she love bombed me for a while then just kinda ran off, massive personality shift outta nowhere, etc.
Oh well.
I was pretty sure I was going to marry that chick, until I got dumped LOL.
I've heard a lot worse stories than mine so I guess I got off easy in comparison.

>>33884924
Hey…

>>33882200
Mom got pregnant at 16, daughters are like mothers, daughter is 23 now, how many kids she have, assuming she's doing the single mom thing like her mom?
Look on the bright side if you two did get together and have kids, grandma the baby sitter is going to have tons of energy to keep up with the grandkids, you'll have life on easy street.

I want to see you again.

>>33884215
>What the fuck is therapy for?
Look up the demographics for therapists, its one certain race's astrology, more or less.
It might even work on their race. Not on most people, however.
For everyone else, you're better off with real astrology or faith healing or just going to church.
For the time and money its usually not the winning option.

>>33884217
>Tinniuts doesn't switch ears. It doesn't make a swirly sound. It doesn't get louder and louder by steps. It doesn't cause shooting pains in your face and neck.
Classic ear infection symptoms.
You can't fix that by bitching on the internet.
Got an ENT referral yet? What did the ENT say?
You can get pretty fucked up by meningitis although your PCP should have caught that...

>>33885027
Then call me.

>>33883605
>Heaven's Gates are located on the planet filled with sin
Interesting

I know my ex hates me and yet I miss them. Honestly feels like they gave me their bpd. They were so clear in the end that I meant nothing to them why else would they cheat the moment I fall into depression? Why else would they suddenly expect me to be their secretary making sure they finish their projects when I was the one in uni and they were a guy with a job on the tracks? Full course load vs. guy living at home who dropped out of uni and expected me to talk to him 8 hours a day yet the one time I thought I could depend on him I was discarded for a girl who might not even be real. He cannot even threaten me right he never does anything.

Talking to myself a moment ago saying “if they do something to try to make me want to kill myself and I react to it then they might drug me against my will” and this is what immediately showed up while scrolling.

It’s fucked up

>be me
> have no friends
> make 1 friend online he’s British and is nice to me most of the time
> he says he loves me and after threatening suicide a few times I start dating him
> I end up loving him as he is the only non family male in my life
> he cheats on me
> he says the cheating was hard on the AP not on me who had to pretend to be friends with her because he told me he was just trying to be her friend due to her bad home situation
> attempt suicide fail
> alive and depressed, miss being off my meds like I was with him. Now just numb.

FUCKING
DO SOMETHINGG
"A:Dpl;aslkdekasl]; d,.l'l,dkl,' as
,;sd

>>33885015
None. She's already finished college and got a job in accounting as a CPA too.

It's going well, but I can't help but think in the back of my mind that I'm dating a child that doesn't understand some life things yet. There's also the problem that dating someone "normal" who actually does have their life together is causing a lot of anxiety for me because I'm used to dating women who have wild mood swings, get into fights over small stuff, and have little self control. It's weird, but it makes it harder for me to be interested in someone so stoic because I feel like our relationship will be just going through the motions until we're old and grey.

It's not even attempting to mimick anything real. It's just electructicity in my ear and swrily high pitched ton that jumps between ears. That's fucking nothing.

It's like the shit I experienced before. For two weeks you devoured my fucking soul. You put me in knife world for a month. You poisoned me for a month. You tried to starve me for a month.

Don't make me go through this shit anymore. For fuck's sake. This is absolutely unbearable. I couldn't move before but this is retarded.

I want to rape a beautiful white British guy who is blonde with blue eyes. I want to bite into his tender chest and make him submissive to me. I’m white myself but this still feels like race play.

>>33884924
hai

Like I can feel their malice in their attacks. I can feel them actually getting angry at me. It's fucking ridiculous. Why would you do this to someone? Why would you ever?

>>33884911
It's remembering truth.

The rain is on her and my side.

Home.

>>33885188
How does Black hair and green eyes sound? With a very posh accent of course.

>>33880945 (OP)
I want to have sex.
I want to give a girl a good hard pounding
I want to have a massive, explosive orgasm and the hardest and biggest ejaculation ever.

>>33880945 (OP)
I had a severe mental break from work on top of tinnitus and a back injury and I'm still not doing that well 4 weeks on from it. To be honest it's so bad that I would describe myself as feeling mentally defective, not eating much, being evasive, suddenly being extremely anxious from being extremely outgoing
I want to tell other people but honestly I don't think I have a single person that actually cares about me. My family sure doesn't, my friends are a million miles away and the ones that are close aren't much for company.
I'm really struggling and I don't know how to pick myself back up this time around, I just feel completely and totally alone. Because in truth... I am.

Grandma isn’t suffering anymore

You can't let them keep doing this. Someone has to do something.

>>33884955
Damn

I don’t know if I can be alone again

Youre alone now. You know this.

>>33885275
possible psychosis, or the oncome of it
whatever you're pondering about in your head it's time to stop it, start taking care of yourself in live in the present and towards the future
you can explain this to your doctor to get more time off or meds, but i'd avoid those if you think you can do it without

>>33885289
What are u talking about?

If my back still aches when doing certain movements tomorrow, I'm reporting her.

>>33885583
Im being literally tortured. I'm being fucking tortured and it keeps fucking happeneing over and over and over for 8 months now.

This is knife world and it has been for a couple days now

>>33885640
Relatable

>>33885640
Is there any way I can help?

>>33885686
Yeah, get it to stop. It's getting fucking retarded that no one is doing anything. Call the FBI, tell the mods what is happening here or something. Someone needfs to fucking do something

>>33884924
hi

>>33885692
>>33885686
>>33885682
There is no way in fucking hell this is going to keep happening. This can't go on past tonight. It just fucking can't. No one can live like this. It's fucking impossible. I'm going to jabn a kniofe in the fucking neck

>>33884803
I envy you

The most sociopathic thing I've ever done was kill a girl's rabbit. Decapitation. She was my friend's girlfriend and I was fucking her.

She kept a rabbit in her closet, fed it mostly pizza crusts and shit like that. It wasn't healthy or happy. One day she dared me to kill it, her roommates said I didn't have the balls to kill it. So I grabbed the nearest knife and went at it, but it didn't work, it was a bread knife and it was just pulling out the fur, not cutting at all. Then her boyfriend came over, asked some questions, and helped me do it. He held it down while I found a better knife, and I cut its head right off.

The girl's roommate wouldn't let us back into the house, she was a vegan, called us evil murderers lol and we were covered in blood

so I got into my friend's car (the one whose girlfriend I was fucking) and drove to another friend's house, and we left the rabbit's head in their mailbox. the body, we just threw out of the car window on the side of the road.

Poor rabbit. But I think it was for the best.

>>33885753
Sounds a lot like what gare had said he wanted to do to cheswicks dog. Why is everyone so mentally ill on here
.

>>33885769
Is that rhetorical? They’re edgy manchildren. I grew out of my torturing animals phase at 13

>>33885788
>torturing animals phase
normal people don't have that phase, man. I killed that rabbit as quickly as I could, torture wasn't part of it.

I know gare had the clap and gave it to both women. He said on here he hoped it would end the pregnancy of cheswick.

>>33885788
No he actually beat the dog to the point it was limping and refused to let it be looked at a vet. When she left she had it checked out though

>>33885794
Yeah I had a rough childhood
>>33885806
That’s fucked. What a loser

I miss you so fucking much. I think about you everyday.

Who would've thought that demeaning and bullying your own child its own life would lead it to have zero self esteem and desire to be well groomed

I'm just glad cheswick moved on with her new bf. Who actually cares about her child unlike the bio dad

>>33885788
I always wanted to see what happened when animals were in water as a small child. I never put them in water they couldn't stand in and not drown. I literally thought the cat would be happy cause it has a little pool to swim in the tub. I was wrong.

i'm glad that you can forgive
only hoping as time goes you can forget

>>33886022
Why do I have to forget

Ever since I stopped smoking weed every day my health went to shit, I keep coughing all the time, my posture got worse, I gained weight suddenly, lost muscle mass, I sweat all the time now, I've allergic reactions which I never had before, I'm itchy and uncomfortable all the time, I can't sleep most days. I just feel like my brain is fucked up. I should've never quit. But the thing that bothers me the most is how my skin looks, it just looks red, patchy and greasy, cracked, I feel uncomfortable all the time and I look disgusting, I break out with acne all the time and I can't go like half a day without shower not to feel disgusting. I just want to feel "normal", and not like I have to take 10 different things for 10 different conditions or whatever, just to feel "stable" or "normal". The only times I feel normal these days is if I'm drunk, but at that point I should've just stayed with weed if I'm gonna do that to myself... I fucking hate myself and how I am, but life before weed was pretty much as shit as it is now and with weed I just feel like a degenerate + its hard to get these days where I'm at and I don't want the stress of meeting some dodgy dealers in dodgy places and hide with the fact I'm smoking. You just can never win and I'm sick of feeling like this, like I'm not normal, always uncomfortable and feeling dirty and disgusting.

>>33886022
No way for the forgetting, compadre.

Gonna deescalate

Forgive but don't forget.

What's the threshold for being comitted to psych ward?

>>33885753
Wow, you're evil

>>33886153
Smoking a cigarette inside of the house

i think i gotta kill myself soon

i wish i lived in the countries where you can pay doctors to do it

>>33886235
Are you taking any medication?

>>33886255
Literally ignore all this: I am too ashamed of my life to want to do anything to feel better. Ultimately, I'm a beta incel loser faggot that peaked in high school and should kill myself. I tried. I really really tried. I only fall more behind over time. I did every advice I could. Sorry to rant. I just am going through all the thoughts I have to process before I realize there is no hope.

I’ve been a quasi-father to my younger siblings for 18 fucking years. I’ve been contributing to household expenses, living in basements and under staircases like Harry fucking Potter, giving advice, always pitching in and helping out, and what have I been repaid for it? Nothing. Now that they’re all adults they actually resent me for my success and daring to criticize them.

This year was supposed to be the year where in my 30s I can finally live alone as a bachelor, have some privacy and focus on me and my life. But then they came needing a place to stay again while they have to finish an extra year of college. I saved my money, bought a tiny little place all for myself, and now I’m sharing it again and we’re on top of each other. I get no privacy, I have no fucking money because all my money goes to their food and expenses. 18 fucking years of this shit. My life is over because I dedicated all the meaningful years to being a dad for adult children that weren’t mine. I’m 32 and I never got any privacy, able to think about what I want, what I should do, where I should go, what I should do with my money, any of it. It’s just been non-stop helping helpless other teens and adults because that’s the role I inherited from my fuck up parents who couldn’t stay together or in their lives. I just want to scream of run away. I worked so hard for this place and it fucking sucks.

would it be possible to redeem myself?

i turned away from a girl that liked me because i felt that she wasnt pretty enough at the time. i have since fallen in love with her and she has gotten a boyfriend. i feel absolutely gutted and have been at the lowest point of my life for months. i want to make it up to her. i dont know if i should persue her again, but i at least want to mend any bad feelings she might have for liking me and getting turned away. of course i would love to be with her.

I'm such a pussy I probably won't even do it. I have to firebomb and sabotage my own life so I have no choice. That is what my "protector of my nervous system" is telling me. Total namefag death.

>>33886335
It'll pass. At this point just grin and bare the last year to at least see what your life could be like.

Intrusive thoughts every day intrusive thoughts every day

Man I can’t wait for those circumstances to change.
You said that one day everything will be different, I believe you. I’m just impatient.

wait a minute, i just realized something. this shit is literally not my problem. all of this is just you and your life and nothing to do with me. i was fine before you inserted yourself into my life and made me part of your bullshit. wtf

>>33886353
First of all, dude it’s been 18 fucking years. I seriously question whether it really will pass at this point. This is going to be my life until I’m fucking 45. And what really irks me is how much of my life I’ve lost already. When I was 28 I should’ve been off to New York building a career or living like bohemian, being selfish like every other 20-something. At most I should’ve been working a high end job and just sending money back home. Instead I was at home making sure I was around so I could give fatherly advice even though it was the last thing I’ve wanted. The window of opportunity for me to do anything worth doing with my life for my own sake has already closed because I’ve had to be a father to children that aren’t mine for the last 18 fucking years.

>>33886442
it's in the garage

>>33881082
i've found that time and time again if they jump into another relationship right after it just means they're not over me. they always come back and tell me they were obsessed over me the entire time. it makes me feel disgust and extreme disappointment. the lesson i always end up learning is just that i'm better than them so i have to learn to pick better people.

My body isn’t ready for holiday work. Nor is my mind.

>>33886442
Trust me I get the regret. Set a hard limit or amor fati. Maybe your life would have felt empty and meaningless in your twenties like mine and while the extra money and cashflow would be nice you would get tired of it. Ultimately the tastiest thing to eat is basically melted cheese on toasted bread with something else, and that is cheap.

Women will make fun of the size of your dick
Even if they let you hit

>>33886598
And? Get a grip if your dick is small your never going to be a good enough your just a wallet or friends.
Unless your 7" you're never giving a woman a actual orgasm

>>33886384
Who

>>33886620
Scum

>>33886164
I'm a good person actually. I make other people's lives better whenever I can.

>>33886619
Begone femcel

>>33886640
No
You'll never make me or any other woman cum your a excess male. Your useless unless your used for disposable income

>>33886650
You’re so cute when you get all riled up

>>33886678
pal, she's never gonna send you pics of bobs and vagene

>>33886472
Maybe but what really eats me up are the lack of gratitude and actual resentment for my sacrifices and the feeling like I’m now trapped because of it. I feel like I just threw away my life for people who don’t even appreciate it. It’s not like they’re my kids bro. If they were I might feel like it was worth it.

>>33886627
?

>>33886690
They might come around after their brains develop. Do you like them everything else aside? I wish I had someone to take care of and talk to.

it hurts me to see you slowly killing yourself. im trying my best to get better, i have been on this shit for 6 years, and now that i finally managed to get at least a bit better, everyone around me is doing the same i used to do. it makes me think maybe it wasnt worth it getting better, cause now that i am, no one else is. im starting to think i wont manage to marry the man i love, until then, either one or both of us will have committed suicide

>>33886687
Why bother sending pics he can jack off to OF or teens on /b/

>>33886687
That’s not the point lol

>>33886763
And your never going to post a dick pic so what is your point

i hope you anons feel better

>>33886767
I have before, silly femcel

>>33886785
No you haven't your what 45 and have shrivelled balls and microdick

>>33886844
I’m 28 and yes I have :)
You will not neg me for pics of my cock though

>>33886852
do it pussy

>>33886859
You have to get to my heart first

>>33886852
Your a 45 yr old cool story bro

>>33886877
Sorry I can’t fulfill your daddy fantasies

>>33886881
you're not wearing pants are you

I don't have daddy fetishes

>>33886896
I am, I’m also completely flaccid. This is simply for the silly

I love you

I know

>>33886972
Is that Maria

>>33886340
You snooze you loose. Not really fair to her that you didn't give her a chance and just diminished her down to her looks. But now you think you need her and realize what you lost out on. She doesn't owe you another chance.

You probably just don't deserve her and did her a major favor by being superficial

I can do tasks! I am The Taskman!

I get angry when so many people text me and call me, wanting to hang out or looking for my opinion on something or whatever. I know it's stupid and selfish, but it makes me really mad when so many people want to talk to me all the time. This sounds like a humblebrag, I know, but I'm being honest here. I try to remind myself that I'd feel worse if nobody wanted to talk to me, and it helps a bit, but still it is infuriating. Like, I just want to hang out by myself most of the time, why all these people want me to be involved with their bullshit, I don't know

Watch the weather change

I feel like a retarded femcel but at this point I'd accept being raped with the lights off. I'm fucking ugly and a subhuman, and could never be able to date or find love. I'm disgusting.

>>33887085
why do you feel this way? not hitting on you, I just don't understand how any girl could feel like that. there are dudes out there right now who would pay money to have sex with you, no matter what you look like

>>33887085
In true love looks are fleeting. I wouldn't leave her because of it.

>>33887085
I’m hitting on you, wanna go out for a walk and coffee?

>>33885137
The youtube algorithm would do anything to get you to watch another video, even if it means that it scares you with thumbnails. It only wants one thing and is amoral in its pusuit.

>Get the perfect job for me in a small business, effectively a successful version of what I want to do for myself.
>This allows me to actually work on and build my own business.
>The moment I have this security of income, I'm actually succeeding!
>Meta releases the Andromeda update to their advertisement system.
>Multi-million dollar companies are going under as a result.
>My employer's sales basically halt, they can't offer me any more hours indefinitely until they can right the ship.
>My own store has lost all of the Meta ad exposure, but otherwise okay in organic social media exposure.
>No stable income from day job.
>Bleeding money.
>Probably going to end up homeless if I can't find a new 9-5 job that won't allow me the time to work on my own stuff anyway.

D-do I kill myself yet?

>>33887133
sounds like you've got some skills and experience. you'll figure it out, anon, and be just fine. might be a little rough in the middle, but you'll get there

>>33887133
I say get a new job. It's normal for high paid things to boom and bust. I know too many people that thought they would make $200k+ forever and lived check to check.

>>33886340
>i turned away from a girl that liked me because i felt that she wasnt pretty enough at the time. i have since fallen in love with her

wtf what made you change your mind? did she glow tf up or did is it because she found someone and you’re alone? superficial ass moron

I want to fuck a MILF so bad

>>33887094
I'm a bad combination of Indian, chubby, and scarred all over my body. Thinking of restricting again, I've always wanted to look like a child. Cannot shake past what being assaulted at that age did to me.

>>33887160
Like who cares about that if she's good looking at least fuck once

>>33887186
This is trite advice, but that's because it's usually true. I think your problems are entirely self fabricated, aside from the whole rape thing, but hey that was then and this is now, and you're in control of what you do and think right now.

>>33887238
Wasn't raped, the event was too mild for me to overreact this much. I try not to let it interfere with my thoughts too often these days. But besides that, in general doing things feels hard, self maintenance included, as I can't be arsed to do much besides the bare minimum of good hygiene and comfortable clothing. I want to try and get help, I suspect some kind of depression.

>>33887270
do you exercise? when you wake up, do some pushups and squats. sounds silly but it really does wonders for mental health, just try it and see for yourself

As I approach my 30s, I'm becoming increasingly hopeless. It feels like my trauma is going to be the long shadow over my back forever. I'm still addiction hopping (alchoholism, self harm, now eating disorders) and it's all in some vain attempt to stifle the pain of everything that's been done to me. I feel like I'm in a hole I'm never going to get out not matter how hard I try.

I don't know what to do. I am so messed up and so broken by what's been done to me that i have no idea how to fix any of it. I plagues my mind and it just won't stop. Therapy, drugs, it's all been for nothing it feels like. I am in such a horrible pit right now. The older I get, the more I see just how damaged I am.

>>33887359
For me, it helps to remember that one day I will die, and so will everyone else. It helps put things into perspective.

Life's unfair.

>>33887541
yeah. but it would be boring if life was fair

I MISS MY DOVES ITS BEEN 6 MONTHS WHY DONT THINGS GET BETTER WHERE ARE THEY I AM COMPLETELY DEMORALIZED

>>33887746
are doves a metaphor for something or do u mean the actual birds

>>33887751
I am being literal, anon. Literal, actual doves.

>>33887755
i hope ur doves return to u then anon
they are cute birds

>>33887772
Thanks Anon I am not ok without them and every month that goes by it feels worse

>>33885142
>after threatening suicide a few times I start dating him
You did this to yourself

>>33887746
Dovebro...

>>33887085
Hey babe

>>33887359
We can make anything anything else if we try. You can be made anew.

Am I ok?

>>33888137
Nobody is ok, anon. we're all just doing the best we can

I find it funny how by surface level impressions people can take me for an insincere, happy go lucky carefree guy but anybody that gets to know me knows how deathly loyal and sincere I am, even against my own self interests.

Sometimes, more mature folk see past it. One person was saying my laughter seemed almost uncontrollable and asked if I was okay.

I can't influence them.

>>33888163
Why would you want to?

>>33888170
I tried as hard as I could but I just couldn't get them to agree with me. I just wanted them to see my point of view.

When I say I hate women and gays, I don't mean that I literally hate women and gays, I mean that I hate the way you treat us.

Yes, people should not be ashamed to express a dislike about being treated as evil and useless.

I feel like there's an irony in me. Wishing to stay away from highly pitiable people whilst I myself feel like I fit into that camp myself.
Just when I hear it openly verbalised to me, the casual nature of
>Oh gee I'm autistic I can't function ahhhh
>I'm on all of these pills oh geeezzzz and I've got high anxiety tooooo ahhhhh
>and oh my gawwwddd my back ahhhhh
I get this distinct feeling of disgust, of contempt. I don't understand it. The people who label themselves like that, make a slave of themselves to whatever condition(s) they have.
I'm not perfect, I am not the picture perfect of health, but I don't want to be around people like that, who simply wallow and explain and tie themselves up with their own rope

Every time I have to spend more than a consecutive hour or two with my, let's say wife, I end up depressed. It's fucking awful. The nagging, the negativity, the constant snide remarks tacked into any statement. I want out but I don't want to fuck the kids up. I'm fighting for my fucking life here. Feel bad about secretly hoping she dumps me and won't take me back so I can have some fucking peace.

>get a crush on a guy
>become friends
>he confuses in me some other guy had a run at him using my whole ass playbook and how it made him really uncomfortable.

Haha, y-you too

>>33888234
*Confides
Fuck

DM me or email me or something pls pls pls

I can do it. I can get ahead.

>>33888228
brutal, man. I've got no advice for ya, but good luck dude. maybe meditate or something so her shit doesn't sink in too deep.

>>33888252
Just did. If it's you.

one of these days ill make a good irl friend who will sit and watch confusing yet beautiful youtube series for hours on end

Tantrums don't work

>>33888333
What are you trying to accomplish?

>>33888339
I want her back

>>33888368
How'd you lose her?

>>33888371
Asked her for some strapon action

>>33888434
Damn, that sucks. Maybe just find another girl.

I have to try new things or I'll never improve.

She said she wanted this and I told her no

holy shit the anger and grief and loneliness tightens my chest so bad i can't focus on anything and it happens several times a day whenever i try to force myself out of being curled up on the bed scrolling youtube mindlessly. i just want to do something to improve myself but then i feel nauseous from how badly i want to die. why cant i just be normal why cant i just die.

>>33887160
i realized how much of a unique person she was and how perfectly compatible we were. i never clicked with someone like that before and no woman i ever talk to now comes even close. i want to just drop my superficiality and go back to her.

i regret my actions so fucking much, it feels so god damn out of character now and i feel like a sinister, retarded piece of shit. i want to know if theres anything i can do now for redemption. i dont want to be a bad person anymore. i hate myself for being such a pathetically bad person.

my therapist finally said what im sure he's been thinking for months now. "if you don't want help, stop showing up." that's the fifth therapist who's given up on me now

she was messaging me every day and i was so paranoid that i barely gave her any replies because i was assuming she had ill intentions. she finally gave up, told me shed stop messaging me so much because shes starting to feel social anxiety. its been 3 days and every time i think about her i get angry. i want her to talk to me but i'm clearly not a good person to talk to. should i just actually block her and burn the bridge

Maybe we should stop looking for ways to self-sabotage

>>33888602
How?

>>33888612
Do this together
>>33884803

>>33888562
Skill issue. You lost her, move on.

>>33888633
makes me wanna kms honestly. its hard to overstate how much regret i have over this, its impossible for anyone to feel remorse for me

i deserve to suffer

No more of this indirect bullshit and that annoying narc in our life.

>>33888562
how was she unique?

i think it's funny you always single out the worse shit i say lol

Taxation is theft.

>>33889008
Hmm

>>33889034
No your just on welfare

>>33883536
Good fighting.

>>33889034
Did you remember to pay up this year?

6789998212

I woke up missing you a lot. Fuck me.

>>33888969
she was probably one of the only women ive ever met that isnt conceited as fuck, she was an artist and very skilled at it too. and she even put effort into learning about my hobbies. no girls do this, only the really really good ones do. and i threw it away like a fucking asshole. i want to kill myself

>>33890066
I hate feeling like you are mocking.. I know I didn't throw her away and have done more for her , been there for her more than anyone else I'm her life.

>>33890066
just find someone other ugly art hoe with a good personality anon seems like you miss someone actually being into you and into what you like

>>33887746
ITS ANOTHER DAY, BROS...

>>33887920
Bro...