Thread 33905241

So yeah.

I got few days to live and that.

Been thinking about offin myself.

I just want to make it a bit meaningful.
Nothing like shooting up schools, rapin kids or stuff that you guys always do in these types of situations.

The problem just is that I am too old. I wasted my life or at least I did not achieve anything that I should have.

Failed all my relationships. 1 that I kept for over a decade ever since I was young. Lost my child too. My financial future is done for. I got no real profession even.

Think this the end of the line. I do not wish to continue something that is without a purpose and that I hate. I do not feel sad and best of all, not very empty. For first time in a long time. I feel bit happier and that I finally got purpose.

Got any thoughts?

>>33905241 (OP)
>Nothing like shooting up schools, rapin kids
You should shoot someone who actually deserves it. Like the CEO of BlackRock or the Sackler family

>>33905241 (OP)

I love you; I wish you to know I will remember this post and what you wrote. Thank you.

>>33905285
The problem is that it is not only one person causing it.

It is their shareholders, workers, government and everything else. Killing the top guy is a good deterrent but it does not yet solve the problem.

I think what the Chinese said was right. Americans do not need tariffs they need a revelation. Those words were probably an attempt at starting civil war to weak USA but those words are also true.

I thought about killing somebody that might deserve it but. Then there are 100 of them out there and the one I'd kill I would not even know his story.

>>33905292
You shouldn't
But I can tell you something that you probably should remember so you won't end up in the same spot as me.

Every minute counts. Every hour. You must have bravery to confront problems that you do not feel comfortable with. You also must know solution before you try to confront them.

Many times I knew what I had to do and I chose comfort. Few times I chose the opposite and I have no regrets.

Unfortunately some of us are put into places where we got little power to change the circumstances around us, it still is possible. It just requires willpower that others will mock you for having. Call you crazy.

>>33905369
Sorry for my god awful reddit spacin btw, it has been a while.

>lost my child too
what happened?

Yall are deadass making jokes about politics while this guy came to you for help about preventing suicide

I think that last paragraph has potential. You told me you got a bit happier. Try to find these moments in your life and cling to them; cherish them, make use of all the opportunities you have left.

The reason you see your life as having no purpose is because you do not see the fruits of your labor. You kept someone close for over a decade and probably tried to make your kid’s life better. Your life is “at the end of the line” and you’re not even thinking of doing all that really bad stuff you mentioned.

Lock in and good luck. Stay alive for us

>>33905369

Thank you for the advice as I will definitely remember what you have said to me. I wish for the strength and you've given it to me.

>>33905241 (OP)
I wish that life is loving to you.

>>33905241 (OP)
Hey man. You think we can meet up after? Im considering doing it too. Tell us more about yourself?

>>33905430
Me my wife got low income. So we got offered this place to stay at, place would provide us free housing. There of course was a catch.

So once you get in there your child gets targeted by CPS and put into list and they start full legal engine that leads you to lose your child that then can be given to new family that you must pay for.

None of use were drug users. My wife got mild autism and had depressive episodes in past.

I would not have believed such cruel form of business existed if I had not experienced it first hand. This was Europe of course.

But that battle is far from over. On top of that after I paid all legal fees and everything she wants divorce, because I do not do enough. I cannot tell more because it is classified information.

>>33905438
What brings me joy is that I know that it soon it all will be finally over.
I am so done.
I was born from abusive household. Raped, beaten. Then from there I got taken to rich household, then neglected but I did not have that rage that I would have had in me if I had stayed in the abusive household. So I became apathetic slob. I could have fixed myself, I do not wish to blame the world while it also was against me but "I" had a choice.

That is what I emphasize to you all. No matter what. YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE!

And that is my freedom that I feel finally right now. Everything that I pushed aside. I am going to attempt to do most of it before I kick the bucket.

Difficult past with relatives, my loved ones.
Things that I did wrong.
Things I do not want to even do but I know I should.

Now that I am at the end. Completing those does not feel as difficult.

But I urge everyone of you.Do the same while you are still better off. Even if it is hard. I will die as a pathetic human being but you won't have to

Maybe after this period. Things will change but I doubt it. I do not got much time left.

>>33905474
From my own experience life is completely indifferent towards anyone. It just aims to expand.

Register with a bone marrow donor registry to see if you can help someone out before you go. Life may be random and unfeeling towards those living it, but at least helping someone else in their own hard life to be a bit better off could be a nice gesture.

>>33905575
Give my marrow to a guy that pays for it the most?

Think I might as well give it to a starving dog.

Probably should not be so cynical. no pun intended

>>33905241 (OP)
sorry anon
i'll remember you
the adversary will not be forgiven

>>33905620
Nah, give it to whoever needs it, donor registries take care of the logistics and all that, but you'd be surprised how hard it is for people to find a donor for bone marrow transplants

i would say "try not to let the pain now ruin the good memories of your child", but i have no idea what it's like

>>33905241 (OP)
Are you afraid of the world anon? It seems you have committed yourself to suicide. Does this determination feel freeing? You seem to have successfully overcome your natural impulses of self preservation, and by bypassing this evolutionary mechanism you are no longer (in theory) bound by the illusions of society. By illusions I mean those of responsibility and reputation; the idea that you ought to be "successful" or else you'll "miss out". But everyone will die. Everyone will have the same end, and no one will exist after their last breath to reflect on that "success". There will just be nothing, and everyone who you feel you need to impress or feel loved by, and everyone they feel they need to impress or loved by will all die, and their names will be forgotten by their progeny within 1-2 generations. Overtime, even the names on their gravestones will be unrecognizable, and they will truly disappear forever. We all die in unmarked graves; whether you are rich, poor, famous, a criminal, a king, etc. All are equal in death.

Are you anxious about tomorrow? You'll be gone in a few days.
Would you feel ashamed if you did something embarrassing? It won't matter, there won't be a you in a few days.
Are you afraid to try new things? Not like it'd matter anyways, but you always have that way out.

The world is now your playground. You can do whatever you want, and pull the plug before things get ugly.

For the devout theist, an afterlife awaits them, so they feel as though nothing matters in this world, and that frees them of its burdens.

For the atheist, nothing awaits them after death, and there is no hell to be afraid of, and there is solace in that fact.

In every possible worldview, everything here is meaningless. Do you feel free yet, anon? Will you unflinchingly take your own life? Or will you do so with a quivering hand and an aching in your heart? If the latter, you are not free, but it's not like that really matters anyway. Do. As. You. Will.

Please don't go. There is a way forward here. When we find the place where we believe ourselves to have no strength left, we can always go a little further. One foot in front of the other. So many have achieved so much by just putting one foot in front of the other.

You are not too old. You are not too broken. You are not pathetic.

Stay. This time, choose to be uncomfortable. Existence itself can become uncomfortable. Choose it.

What if you prayed? Would you be open to that? I'm going to pray for you right now. What if there is a God who personally loves you and always wants the best possible things for you?

May you have hope. May you become as helpless as a child - for weakness is great, and strength is worthless. May you believe.

Find beauty. It is not the truth, but it will point you towards it. Find what is beautiful. Search for it with as much desperation as you would look for something which is irreplaceable and priceless.

>>33905241 (OP)
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