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Thread 33905672

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Anonymous 11/6/2025, 2:05:53 AM No.33905672 [Report] >>33905968 >>33906457
Having first kiss as a older adult?
eventhorizon_EYES.jpg md5: f0a2b133...
I had my first kiss when I was 30. I am 31 now and haven't been on another date. I feel almost scared to even try again. It wasn't traumatizing, the woman kissed me first which made me feel good. However, I knew I was doomed as soon as she did it because I consider myself close to retarded when it comes to social interaction. Unfortunately, things didn't work out between us and I think its because I started distancing myself from her. I stopped texting her as much etc. I definitely liked her but a part of me didn't want to advance things because I didn't want to get involved and then ultimately lose her somehow. Not even sure how I really explain that.

Basically, I don't like relationships even though I want to be in one. But I don't like them because I know the likelihood that it ends is very high because of my ineptitude. So I don't want one because I know I am going to fuck it up. Is there anything I can do to get over this? I almost wish she hadn't kissed me because now I know what kissing is like and before I had no idea. Now it may never happen again and yet I know what its like. I hate that feeling. The feeling of knowing but never being able to have again.

I will say though that I think overall I am glad it happened. It made me wonder if maybe I am not as bad as I thought. I use to think I was completely unworthy of even having friendships etc.
Anonymous 11/6/2025, 3:48:32 AM No.33905968 [Report]
>>33905672 (OP)
You need to stop worrying about the relationship so much. Especially since you're autistic, just practice better communication. Ask your partner how she is feeling. Ask what you can do for her. I hope you do try again
Anonymous 11/6/2025, 5:03:31 AM No.33906128 [Report]
if she was going to kiss you first, the first time, there was nothing you could do short of making her feel in danger or uncomfortably objectified that would have ruined it with her. it's totally possible you will go the rest of your life without finding a woman that enthusiastically likes you again
Anonymous 11/6/2025, 6:00:27 AM No.33906283 [Report]
you're worthy of love man and i think its very likely you will love and be loved again. especially if you continue to try at self improvement. the best way to overcome your worries or get over the relationship is probably therapy, if thats an option for you, please dont hesitate to seek help if you feel you could use some. maybe it could help you overcome feelings of inadequacy or social ineptitude. ideally help from a professional and not the many cynics of 4chan
Anonymous 11/6/2025, 7:40:47 AM No.33906457 [Report]
>>33905672 (OP)
>I didn't want to get involved and then ultimately lose her somehow. Not even sure how I really explain that.
It's called self sabotage. It's a self fulfilling prophecy.
>Basically, I don't like relationships even though I want to be in one.
Zero confidence in yourself.
>But I don't like them because I know the likelihood that it ends is very high because of my ineptitude.
No, they all end because you expect them to end and everything you do, from the way you maintain eye contact, the way you walk, even the tone of your voice has that energy ingrained in it. They all end because you have specifically willed them to, and for absolutely no other reason.
>So I don't want one because I know I am going to fuck it up.
Incorrect. You are subconsciously but intentionally destroying every single one with your thought patterns. You aren't fucking up. You are doing exactly what you want to do, lol.
>Is there anything I can do to get over this?
Work on your self confidence. Work on loving yourself. It's clear that you don't, or else you'd believe that you deserve a real relationship. So you need to dig deep and find the false beliefs that bolster your thought pattern, and disintegrate them.
>I almost wish she hadn't kissed me because now I know what kissing is like and before I had no idea.
Said another way: "I wish I didn't have literal proof that everything I think about myself is incorrect."
>Now it may never happen again and yet I know what its like.
The point was to inspire you to get over your bullshit negative thought patterns
>It made me wonder if maybe I am not as bad as I thought.
Took you long enough to get here. But you still wasting time wondering instead of accepting the truth.
>I use to think I was completely unworthy of even having friendships etc.
Sounds like you still do, but are choosing to ignore the blaring red evidence to the contrary.