Thread 33913530

>Talking to a therapist, she asks me about my sexual history
>Tell her I'm a virgin still at 28
>"Oh, so you're asexual?"
>"No, I'm not, I want to have sex I just haven't."
>"What do you mean?"
>"What do you mean what do I mean?"
>"You can't tell me you've honestly been trying this long and are still a virgin?"
I didn't know what to fucking say to that and she changed the subject. Therapy is fucking useless.

>>33913530 (OP)
Lmao. They really are clueless huh.

>>33913530 (OP)
Get a new therapist, useless judgemental bitch

>>33913583
This. Leave a negative review for others to see too.

>>33913530 (OP)
Therapy is not an exact science. From what I can tell, some are great and others are bad and it can depend a lot on compatibility. Also, check to see what qualifications the therapist has before you see them.

>"Oh, so you're asexual?"

This alone tells me all I need to know about her.

I'm NGL therapy for men is lowkey useless because it's a female-centric profession. Built by and for women. They don't understand male problems and don't try to empathize either. They try to fit male problems into their female worldview. Just like OP's therapist
>oh you're a virgin at 28?
>obviously you must be asexual because the only women who are virgins at that age are either religious or asexual
It does not even compute in their tiny brains that the game is completely different for men. All their life they've had things handed to them on a silver platter so they don't get what it's like to have to earn your stripes.

>>33913530 (OP)
Firstly, I don't believe that she said this in accusatory tone you're implying. Secondly, have you really thought about the question? Have you really asked yourself if you've been honestly, genuinely trying? Do you feel like you've done everything you could and everything you wanted to do in order to attract a partner? Are you upset because you think she intentionally insulted you or are you upset because the basis of the question caused you to contemplate something that was extremely painful? All I know is that if you leave therapy feeling great then you aren't doing it right. Therapy is supposed to suck. Its supposed to dig up shit that makes you angry and hurt and vulnerable. There are times when you're done with therapy and you absolutely resent your therapist for challenging you with certain things. That's the whole point of the process. I dunno. Just my thoughts.

>>33913858
>I accidentally spilled hot water on myself today
>Oh, so you're mentally handicapped?
Implying only group x can possibly wind up in situation y.

I'd imagine a real therapist would ask first with an open mind what OP thinks the problem is.

>>33913858
Naw, therapist sounds privileged and tone deaf

>>33913530 (OP)
Sue the company for sexual harassment. Make millions. Now the pussy will line up for (YOU)

>>33913868
>I'd imagine a real therapist would ask first with an open mind what OP thinks the problem is.
I'd imagine that you nor I really know anything about being a trained therapist or what the context of the conversation was beyond OP's reporting. People usually come here to have their preconceived biases and conclusions reinforced by delivering things in a way that is most favorable to them. When something sounds too one sided to make sense it usually is. Becoming a therapist is grueling work and requires an immense amount of training, supervision and education. The likelihood that she's just awful at her job and attacking OP's status as a virgin with zero awareness and that OP is a reliable, objective reporter about his own emotional state seems like one of those one sided things I was talking about.

>>33913871
>Naw, therapist sounds privileged and tone deaf
I just ask myself what is more likely - that the therapist who trained for 8 years in college plus 2000-3000 clinic hours to earn 60k a year is privileged and tone deaf and has genuine disdain for her clients OR the original poster, a man who is in therapy, was confronted with a difficult question about a painful topic for him and turned his resentment on his therapist. The second is infinitely more likely. The second is so much more likely that it makes sense why he would come here, a scandinavian hackey sack forum, for a bunch of autistic KHVs to tell him his therapist was mean and he's right and he's the victim again, like he always is.

>>33913530 (OP)
>Therapy is fucking useless.
lmao wtf is wrong with this board

you never see someone have an experience with a shitty cardiologist and go "no one really knows anything about the heart if you think about it"

>>33913827
>It does not even compute in their tiny brains that the game is completely different for men. All their life they've had things handed to them on a silver platter so they don't get what it's like to have to earn your stripes.

Nicely out, anon. Screencapped.

>>33913858
>>33913906

Are you a woman?

>>33913530 (OP)
because you are the equivalent of a fat guy that eats 4000 calories every day, does 0 exercise, then goes around crying about how he isn't losing any weight when the solution is very simple
if you want to have sex, then have sex. you can pay. it's very simple. obviously you don't want to have sex otherwise you would do what's necessary to get it, but you don't because there's something else going on in your brain that you're not telling us and maybe you're not even aware of it.

>>33914111
Women only care about looks

>>33914116
not if they are prostitutes.

>>33913906
having a degree doesn't guarentee that someone is competent. have you really never met or heard of an incompetent professional? the possibility that his therapist is that incompetent is not as unlikely as you're trying to make it seem.
you hear about people having to move from one therapist to another until they find one that "fits" them because the methods they employ are based on research with low standards of rigor and only superficial adherence to the scientific method, so therapy ends up being more dependent on the therapist's personal style rather than hard scientific facts, and that also means that a lot of therapists really are just straight up useless.

>>33913979
we know a whole lot more about the heart than we know about the brain, and because of that bad cardiologists are nowhere near as common as bad therapists.
back when people didn't know much about the human body, if you were sick, a doctor might've stuck a couple leeches on you to draw out the "bad blood" and maybe tell you to pray to god. this is more or less where psychology is today.
we're in the middle of a mental health epidemic, and psychologists don't seem to be doing much about it.
one day neurobiologists will achieve scientifically what psychologists are pretending to have achieved unscientifically. but that day is still far away.

>>33913530 (OP)
>>Talking to a therapist, she asks me about my sexual history
Why the fuck would this ever come up? I smell a rat.

>>33914127
>you hear about people having to move from one therapist to another until they find one that "fits" them because the methods they employ are based on research with low standards of rigor

Ironically, that advice is based on thorough studies which proved that the primary indicator for therapeutic success is the fit bewteen therapist and patient.
In OPs case, this is not the issue. The question whether OP has tried getting with women is a totally obvious one, as it contributes to finding the origin of the problem.
After all, less than 5% of men are vigrins at 28, making thi shighly unusual to say the least.

And lets just say, the average incel on this board will shit out whole text walls of cope before ever admitting to not ahving left his basement in years and never having asked out a woman. After all, ist all about blameshifting and avoiding responsibility for ones life. Its pretty telling that you can ask incels on this site the same question (whether they have tried) and recieve the same angr ymeltdown in return that OP is throwing. Becuase nothign is more horrible to the incel than being reminded of his own responsibility.

>we know a whole lot more about the heart than we know about the brain

OP is seeking therapy, not neurosugery. Thankfully, the human psyche is quite well understood , other than the brain itself.

>if you were sick, a doctor might've stuck a couple leeches on you to draw out the "bad blood"
And as since leech saliva is strongly antibio9tic and antinflammatory, theres a good chance it would have helped.Medical leeches are still in use today for certain situations.
And so on.
>one day neurobiologists will achieve

A neurobiologist won't invent a magical button that gives you Chad brain. Most incels don't have a problem with their Neurochemistry, but a bad upbringing coupled with a steadfast refusal to accept that their room doesn't contain a spawn point for hot chicks.

>>33914204
Women only care about looks. I am not Chad, therefore I will never have sex.
Whether or not I leave my basement or not will have no bearing on whether or not I am able to lose my virginity (it's impossible for non-chads).

>>33913858
That's fair

>>33914212
>Whether or not I leave my basement or not will have no bearing on whether or not I am able to lose my virginity (it's impossible for non-chads).

And heres the cope, like clockwork. One day you will realize you lied to yourself just to be able to crack open the next Cheeto package instead of getting off your ass, and that will be a very very very bitter moment.
Why not stop now instead of waiting until you're an old man?

>>33914224
I go to the gym, I have a nice haircut, I have good clothing, my teeth are white, I have jaw fillers, I wear shoe lifts, none of it worked
It's over for me

>>33913530 (OP)
You hit the unlucky lottery.
Find a new therapist.

I once had a therapist tell me she couldn't see me because one session I told her I was TRYING to stop smoking weed and the next, I told her I seshed at a party.

She then told me flat out "Well, I don't think I can see you anymore because you're not serious. You didn't follow with what you told me last time"

Dumb bitch

>>33914231
>none of it worked

How many women did you talk to?

>I have jaw fillers, I wear shoe lifts
Yeah living according to internet memes makes it likely you're a fucking weirdo IRL. Which is far more noticeable than whatever height lifts give you. And unless you're agenuine manlet its laughable to wear those btw.

>>33913906
I know about this. Therapists qualifications are highly suspect if they have them at all. Otherwise its just time spent in session and some chats with their mentor. There's nothing rigorous about it and I absolutely know therapists are are not only dumb as fuck but actively take the piss out of their patients and regard them as stupid cash cows.

It ironic that you'd be telling people to reserve judgement only to then insult the people on the board according to your own preconceived biased view of them.

Verdict: you're a dangerous spastic.

>>33913530 (OP)
She may have been trying to poke you into an insight into why you haven't been trying

>>33914231
Have you considered developing a personality?

>>33913906
>to earn 60k a year is privileged
The privilege in question is not financial, it's social/sexual.

>>33914224
You are a shining example of the just world fallacy.

Psychology degrees are 75% female and the entire field is feminized / woke. Women talk about their feelings and therapy is oriented to that.

>>33914204
>Ironically, that advice is based on thorough studies which proved that the primary indicator for therapeutic success is the fit bewteen therapist and patient.
and that is because psychology itself is unreliable and doesn't provide a therapist with effective tools to treat patients regardless of personal views. these studies are just a poor attempt to mask the flaw as a feature.

>After all, less than 5% of men are vigrins at 28, making thi shighly unusual to say the least.
1 in 20 is not insignificant enough for a trained professional to act so surprised and with such lack of tact. also, you have to consider the fact that this statistic includes mentally healthy men, if you only asked men who go to therapy, you'd likely get a much higher percentage of virgins. also, i imagine that a lot of men wouldn't want to admit it, and that a non insignifact portion of men who did lose their virginity likely did it by paying a prostitute.

>After all, ist all about blameshifting and avoiding responsibility for ones life. Its pretty telling that you can ask incels on this site the same question (whether they have tried) and recieve the same angr ymeltdown in return that OP is throwing.
for someone shilling so hard for therapists, your "just do it" mentality will likely not fit into their professional beliefs. people like that dont "just do it" because even though they've agonized over it so much, the suffer from mental illness that prevents them from just doing it.

>OP is seeking therapy, not neurosugery.
my reply had nothing to do with what op said. that anon tried to claim that the existance of bad therapists doesn't mean that therapy as a whole is useless by pointing out the fact that there are bad practitioners in other medical fields that are considered reliabe as well. he just didn't mention that it's much more common in the field of mental health, which makes the comparison completely invalid.

>>33914204
>>33917223
>Thankfully, the human psyche is quite well understood.
this is just straight up wrong.

>And as since leech saliva is strongly antibio9tic and antinflammatory, theres a good chance it would have helped.Medical leeches are still in use today for certain situations.
it is undeniable that blood letting was a harmful practice. some nonsense excuse about leech saliva having antibacterial effects doesn't change that. also, alternative medicine is not real medicine, it's a scam.

>A neurobiologist won't invent a magical button that gives you Chad brain
no, but he will be able to treat the underlying causes of what leads many people to social isolation and a lack of success with the opposite sex, that is, depression and anxiety disorders.

>>33914111
This.
Just go to a whore.
Actually go to three different whores over the space of a week or two. The reason for this is you could always have a bad experience with only one but three different sexual experiences will give you a well rounded view.

>>33914247
Wow, it's like she's only there to watch the patient literally do all the work themselves.

>Oh your not magically getting better anymore just talking to me?
>BYE!

>>33913530 (OP)
Ask her to date you. If she says no, then you have proven your point. But therapy has always been a meme as other anons said above.

>>33914129
This is a perfectly normal question. The only tone-deaf thing is accusing OP of being asexual unless its early into therapy

Bait thread.

>>33913530 (OP)
Your me but I'm 27. I would tell her that I'm introverted and social interaction was literally traumatic for me.

>>33913530 (OP)
>Talking to a therapist, she asks me about my sexual history
>she
Anon...I...
Seriously Anon, The Rapy is 95% of the time a money grift.
When I was in college, and still had an interest in psychology to help people, there were only 2 other guys I'd met who were taking psych classes.
The majority of them were women who either wanted to "Fix" themselves, were looking for justification to blame their parents as to why they were so SUCK, or because it's low-effort pseudo-science that they can charge $100-200 for each 1 hour session.

If you feel you HAVE to have someone to bounce your thoughts off of, either get a MALE psychologist, or find a free group meeting.
Short of that, if you can, the best "Therapy" in the world is taking LONG walks,(2 hours minimum,) with no distractions and a will to think about the issue you are having.
That said, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin. Sex isn't what it gets built up to be, and while it can be very good, many people after their first time say: "That's it? That's all?"
Pair bonding and reproduction is really all it's good for, but because of biological imperative hardwiring, and all the bio-chems involved, and a morass of midwits who make it their identity, Sex gets built up to this mythical thing for those who haven't had it yet.

>>33913583
Yeah, DO this. and
>>33913611
>>33913822
> A FEW are good, and MOST are bad.
FIFY
Psychotherapy really only exploded in the early 80s when it became a kind of status thing amongst Boomers(Yuppies) to humblebrag.
Now, like every other profession that had merit at one time and paid well, it's FLOODED with hacks and incompetents.

>>33913530 (OP)
Bodied by that freak.

>>33919415
No, it's not. *Relationship* history, maybe, depending on why OP even went to therapy. But sexual history? Absolutely not normal.

>>33919458
>esotericist nonsense

the main problem with incels and therapy is that proper therapy forces you to confront and change your traits and habits that you do not want to admit to yourself.The human brain is innately wired to resist change and maintain the status qou unless said status qou is immediately life threatening.

For example, OP was confronted with the fact that he only has himself to blame for his virginity on account of not even trying. I assume that, because it is statistically impossible to not get laid at least once when you consistently try for a decade unless you're legit deformed or some kind of rare specimen gigasperg. Hell, make that a year.

So basically , incels advise other incels to avoid therapy alltogether or at least simply kvecth out at any therapist doing their job for being shit. Your post if a perfect example of the crabs in a bucket mentality infesting incel "communities" online, because god forbid someone actually ends his inceldom and painfully reminds everyone else that their basement dwelling is the main cause, and not Chads or Stacies or body height.

>>33913530 (OP)
>Therapy is fucking useless.
Doesn't seem useless to me. In 3 questions she isolated the problem and showed you where the blockage is. A therapist isn't going to solve your problems for you, they are there to guide you to your own solution.

>>33920518
4chan autists hate therapy because by default they need to advocate against anything that might help them improve. If every avenue for improving is jewish/feminist brainwashing then they have the perfect excuse to remain losers.

>>33914204
>studies
I guess that’s a good enough replacement for wisdom.