Thread 33921927

I care about my girlfriend deeply, but we have very different values and definitions of what a good night looks like.I prefer calm, quality time together, while she enjoys clubbing and nightlife with her friends. Earlier in our relationship, we talked about how clubbing made me uncomfortable and she agreed to stop, but over time she started going again and I tried to be okay with it since it was something she really wanted to do. Recently, she left a night we were spending together to join her friends at a club, and it brought back all the original hurt. I feel like I’ve been bending my own boundaries just to avoid conflict, and now I’m carrying resentment while she feels restricted. I don't think going clubbing is something someone in a committed relationship should do. If I was there I'd be less of an issue for me, but I don't want to go clubbing. I’m trying to figure out if staying means losing parts of myself, or if breaking up is the healthier long-term choice

>>33921927 (OP)
Talk to her friends, and ask them if she if getting flirty with guys at the club.

>>33921944
I don't think she flirting or even accepting other guys advances and that's only a part of my concern. I just don't think the environment of being in the club is something that I want to be a part of our relationship. Last time she went she was saying how there were so many fights breaking out and the cops were outside. I guess part of it is I want to be there to protect her, but I can't bring myself to go with her since I don't want to encourage it more.

A woman only goes to parties and nightclubs to enjoy male attention; every guy there is trying to hook up. Whether or not your girlfriend is cheating physically, fucking guys in the parking lot, bathroom, or going back to their house is unknown BUT HIGHLY PROBABLE.

It's just like when a woman has A LOT of male friends that she hangs out with; big red flag when she's in a relationship. She's always out with her friends - that means you have a low priority in her life.

Dropping you to join her friends - you're in denial or just naive if you think she's going to a club to enjoy an innocent drink with her friends. She's bored with you and stroking her own Ego with endless, relentless male attention from guys in the bar buying her drinks and asking her to dance.

There's zero doubt that out of the hundreds of guys who attend such venues hoping to hook up that AT LEAST ONE MAN will be smooth enough, handsome enough, and persistent enough to overcome her "token" objections of having a boyfriend or whatever.

OPPORTUNITY IS THE GREATEST PREDICTOR OF INFIDELITY THAT EXISTS!! And what does a social venue represent if NOT multiple opportunities?

You're in denial. I won't be here when you enter the bargaining phase. But you should definitely make living arrangements if you're name is not on the lease - cause this woman is actively searching for your replacement.

>>33921927 (OP)
There's a very apparent lack of compatibility here. It's only natural to want your significant other to enjoy the things you enjoy. She would have said many times she wants you to join her and likely feels disappointed that you don't.
When you consider that longing, and recognise that she's in an environment literally full of suiters who would quite willingly fill that spot, that's where issues arise.
Even assuming she's on her best behaviour, it only takes one moment of vulnerability before mistakes are made.

Your choices:
1. Join her on occasion. Fill that absence.
2. Be totally honest and break up with her. You just can't bring yourself to feel comfortable with it, and recognise that it's not fair to make her stop doing what she enjoys

>>33922203
kys

>>33922236
Not nice, anon.