Thread 5024983

WTF are you for real?? You mean I can't pet a bird without accidentally jerking the fucking thing off?!?

>>5024983 (OP)
So long as you’re not overstimulating or stroking the bird it won’t trigger anything. It’s partially true but mostly pet owners that believe they’re experts exaggerating the issue, like bearded dragons with sand

>>5024983 (OP)
Pet their head. It's that simple.

>>5025076
What's with bearded dragons and sand

>>5025136
Sand is perfectly fine for bearded dragons, but people used to keep bearded dragons in shitty conditions and when they’d ingest bits of sand it would build up in their digestive tracts. This lead to the idea that sand is dangerous when a healthy dragon can pass sand just fine. This wasn’t helped by the fact pet stores would sell calcium sand as a substrate which actually is bad for them unlike normal sand.
To this day you still see people saying the same old myth about how sand is dangerous and things like how they’re from “rocky deserts” and don’t live on sand in the wild which is completely wrong.
Now it’s at the point where even though we know better there are still people who are so afraid of their dragon eating a few grains of sand that they keep them on tile or other hard surfaces which actually is terrible on their joints and bad for quality of life seeing as beardies like to burrow

>>5025129
Garbage animal. I'm a human being, it's in my blood to want to touch animals all over the place. If I can't do that there's no reason to be involved with the creature.

Are pet pigeons and chickens like this too or is it just the parrot sort? Have heard it a few times but wasn’t sure if this was a rule for all birds.
Never realised how hormonal they can get.

>>5024983 (OP)
Imagin having your entire fucking body be an erogenous zone
Lucky bastard

>>5025170
>I'm a human being, it's in my blood to want to touch animals all over the place.
Oh my~

>>5025198
I don't think it's erogenous in the traditional sense, I think they're just schizophrenic.

>>5025170
It's in my blood to murder animalfuckers.

>>5025170
There's nothing in your blood demanding you to molest animals, you're just a degenerate

>>5025170
you just have no emotional intelligence whatsoever

>>5024983 (OP)
You can "jerk birds off" all you want. It’s not bestiality because birds dont have sex. They are not mammals. They are basically a lizard with chatGPT glued to their brain. No real self awareness or soul. Just instinctive routines to trigger for laughs.

When you pat a chickens back its funny
This does not mean you can molest your cat, a fellow souled being. There is a difference.

>>5025227
>>5025228
>>5025230
>t. subhumans

>tfw ex had birds now I can't see birds the same
Hold me, bros. I love birds so much

>>5025241
Female cats get off on you patting where their tail meets their body

That is correct. They usually dont like being touched other than their head anyway tho.

>>5025076
Yeah as long as ur not petting it like a cat touching it is fine

>>5025446
They have very distinct personalities so this isnt a problem. I was worried getting birb would remind me of my ex because she had a conure but that turned out to not be an issue

birds should not be kept as pets in general, so any bird owner yapping at you about proper bird care has lost the plot, anyhow. Pretty much all birds are extremely social and need huge amounts of air outside to fly around in. They cant be social or stimulated by non same-species birds. Bird owners are committing animal abuse just by "owning" their precious pet bird

>>5025518
You're thinking as if birds are mammals and have souls

Birds do not care what they are meant to do. They are so soulless and robot-like they can imprint on the wrong species and become totally nonfuctional as a bird. Not even the dumbest mammals like cats and rats can fail that hard.

I've always wanted a conure or a caique because they seem fun but what about the shit ? Do they shit everywhere? Is it possible to make them shit in a litter box ? Also is the noise really that bad ?

>>5025525
I didn't say it but all the animals I have and will ever have are free roaming in the house, so I'm talking about a free roaming bird scenario

>>5024983 (OP)
imagine being such a weird prudish freak that you're concerned about something like that

>>5025552
Yeah i bet you can't imagine not wanting to rape animals because you're brown

>>5025170
you can do that though
>>5025555
birds like to be pet, retard

>>5025561
>"they WANT me to molest them!"
You sound like a husky owner

>>5025142
Based animal welfare enthusiast.

I kill and eat animals and it always blows my mind how people who claim to love animals refuse to learn anything about them or even give them basic care.

>>5025499
You telling me I been jerking my poultry off by petting them?

>>5025241
Piece of shit "animals are machines and built for our amusement" queer.

>>5025588
It depends how much youve been petting them and where on their body but probably yeah.
Its not exactly like jerking them off though as they dont get off from it necessarily they just only let mates touch their body, so its more akin to playfully squeezing a girls tits or something along those lines.

>>5025604
Why would anyone be upset by this then, this thread is full of sissies

>>5024983 (OP)
Man what I'd do to have my entire body be an erogenous zone.

>>5025609
Because with species that are opportunistic breeders its bad for their physical health to make them hormonal and it causes behavioral issues if they think you are their mate

>>5025604
They like it?
I love tits. so I'm game.

>>5025638
>>5025604
I'm not joking when I say this. I know the fuck me position for birds. They don't do that. So if I just shake them around and them seem pretty chill, not simulate mounting, it's like flicking their nipples and if I do it too long they get off?

>>5025638
Generally they do not. But if you insist on doing it for long enough they start thinking you are their mate which will cause them to do shit like attack you when you dont give them enough attention.
Its better to have them see you as a flock member than their mate

>>5025640
This actually explains a solo duck my wife raised who would literally run across an entire acre. Like run to bite your ankle.

So how do you show affection without making them horny rape demons.

>>5025650
You can pet them on the head and neck, hand feed them treats hang out close to them, carry them around.
Pretty much anything as long as you dont pet them on the body like they are a cat, handling them is fine its not like you shouldnt touch their body at all.

Why does it even matter as long as they're not telling you to fuck off or otherwise showing signs of discomfort/displeasure
>oh no please don't make me feel good, anything but that, it's immoral
Do hairless apes really?

>>5025659
Bro. Im not gonna blue ball my birds. If im jiggling a titty I'd like to know do I can at least give them the respect of getting polished off.

>>5025655
Oh I carry them around all the time. I figured that was jerking em too

>>5025663
No, thats fine :)

>>5025377
>Calling out zoophilic behavior is subhuman
Go back to bizarro world

>>5025561
>birds like to be pet, retard
Yes, if they're being pet by their own species' mate

>>5025188
Getting constant physical contact with your group without it being sexual is a mammal thing

>>5025241
the problem is that making birds sexually frustrated makes them angry and loud

>>5025526
Mental illness

>>5025448
Please tell me this isn't true man

>>5027156
homosexual male cats too. i had a gay cat that would shake his tail and yowl if i stroked him all the way front to back. i called him a faggot and he rolled over on his back.

>>5027156
Don't act like you wouldn't get hard if cats just vibrated on your dick like a coin operated bed.