Thread 937990003

I'm going to be 30 this month and I have nothing to live for. No friends. Most of my family is dead, the remaining are insane or in jail. I've never had a gf or sex and alcohol and weed have stopped numbing the despair and anguish a long time ago.

I'm tired guys. I'm just so tired. I wish every night before I fall asleep that I don't wake up but I always do. Every passing day for the past few years I've felt my suicidal thoughts creeping up on me. I haven't used my gun in a while but I'm genuinely thinking about ending it on my 30th birthday. No one will care. Hell I'm pretty sure no one will even know until weeks later when my rotting corpse smell starts spilling over to my neighbors.

How do you guys cope with the anguish and existential dread?

Hobbies and meditation

First noble truth: There is suffering in life.
Second noble truth: Suffering is caused by craving and clinging.
Third noble truth: Suffering is ended by the ending of craving and clinging.
Fourth noble truth: The end of craving and clinging is with the Noble Eightfold Path.

>>937990003 (OP)
I'm the same plus no job or savings, as I have gotten older though I have accepted my cards in life and I'm pretty content for now, it is what it is. However you also have to realize no one is going to save you but yourself, this is a reflection of reality. Nobody saves anybody from their bad luck, that's the harsh reality you must accept and the sooner you do it the better, hope that helps.

>>937990003 (OP)
Life was never meant to be easy op. I've gone through my fair share of sufferings too. Anyways, I'd suggest getting a gf and if you luck out and she's the one get married, have kids. You have to create a reason to live for. Find hobbies as well like the other anons suggested. I hope it all works out for you :)

>>937990003 (OP)
>How do you guys cope with the anguish and existential dread?
honestly, there are times times when I want to end it all. and then I remember the people who hurt me, and I imagine ways to hurt them back.
and I realize that removing myself is antithetical to what I really want: meaningful consequences

>>937990003 (OP)
>How do you guys cope with the anguish and existential dread?

For me, at age 42, I stopped being such a self-centered, whiny cunt. I started serving others (caregiver, educator) and guess what? Life has meaning.