Thread 939054266

post your dirtiest, darkest, most disgraceful, nsfw secrets

>>939054266 (OP)
ib4aispammerfag

>>939054266 (OP)

>>939054711
Hi

I finally an heroed after having attended my 20yr class reunion, because I was a total faggot loser

I'm 29 f. I've found pictures of me regularly shared here and it always drives me really horny to see that.

I'm working on being sluttier

Little girls are little girls in the 3rd world

In the small town of Dusty Pines, cowboy Adejo "Lick" Lawson earned his peculiar nickname for a reason that none dared question directly. Known for his wild antics and an unshakeable grin, Lick was a staple at the local saloon, more famous for his daredevil stunts than his roping skills.

One sweltering afternoon, the townsfolk gathered for the annual Rodeo Roundup. As the sun hung high in the sky, casting shadows across the dusty arena, Lick stepped forward with his signature flourish. Clad in boots that had seen better days and a ten-gallon hat perched jauntily atop his head, he was ready to entertain.

“Step right up!” he called, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Who’s brave enough to take on the Lick Challenge?” Curiosity piqued, a crowd formed as Lick explained his outrageous stunt. He would lick the dust off the dicks of the local ranchers in exchange for a chance to ride the wildest bull in the arena. Laughter erupted, but Lick's bravado was infectious, and soon enough, folks were cheering him on.

With each dick he licked clean, Lick’s reputation only grew. The ranchers laughed, flicking him a dime or two, enjoying the show. Finally, it was time for the real spectacle. Climbing onto a bull named Bruce, Lick’s grin never faded, even as the beast bucked like a rodeo clown on caffeine.

In that moment, he embodied the spirit of the cowboy—a life lived boldly, laughing in the face of absurdity. Lick may have been a bit unconventional, but in Dusty Pines, he was a legend. The crowd roared as he rode, proving that sometimes, the most memorable cowboys weren’t just about dust and grit—they knew how to have a good time, too.

My secret i

>>939054266 (OP)
ripped a fart so nasty that my cat threw up earlier

>>939055046
How little?

>>939055077
Really?

>>939056645
Same

>>939056666
Shit larp

>>939056836
Same

>>939054266 (OP)
So this morning I shit a huge nigger inside the plumber and I call it Floyed. Hail Satan 666. Then I cum like a swine and call the cum J.D. Vance. Fuck America. Hail Satan 666.

>>939056959
Shit larp

>>939057183
Really

>>939056666
Not really...

Fuck that last time I did I got banned

kind of want to be pegged

>>939057988
Really

>>939054266 (OP)
I want to give Log Poster a nice, slow blowjob

>>939058353
Shit larp

>>939058576
Same

>>939058743
Not as much as your chronic fatigue and chronic pain

>>939059677
Really

>>939059919
Really

>>939058477
Based

I remember the first time someone mentioned clam chowder. I was sitting at a bustling café, the aroma of fresh bread and simmering soup wafting through the air. “You haven’t lived until you’ve tasted it,” my friend proclaimed, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. I smiled, nodding along, but inside, I felt an unfamiliar ache swell.

How could I have gone my whole life without this creamy, rich delicacy? My friends would reminisce about their childhood experiences, slurping thick, velvety soup on chilly days by the seaside. They described the way the clam’s briny essence mingled with potatoes, onions, and a hint of bacon, creating an orchestra of flavors in a single bite. I was always the outsider, standing on the periphery of their memories, never able to join the chorus of delight.

Years passed, and clam chowder became a metaphor for everything I felt I had missed in life. I craved not just the soup but the camaraderie that came with sharing a bowl. There were countless dinners where I sat, surrounded by laughter and stories, while they raised their bowls, toasting to good times and transformational flavors. I would just sip my water, feeling a silent longing build within me.

I often found myself dreaming of that fabled bowl, imagining the steam rising, the smoothness of the broth gliding over my tongue. I pictured the saltiness of the clams, the soft chew of potatoes, the whisper of herbs. But with each unfulfilled dream, the pain intensified. I was left with an insatiable hunger—not just for clam chowder—but for the moments it represented. Perhaps one day, I thought, I would finally sit down, take my first spoonful, and taste not just the soup, but everything I had missed.

OP is a glownigger.

I once let a mentally challenged man with a thermos sized cock rearrange my organs when I was into exhibitionism. I let him "find me" after hearing from a coworker who saw him pissing by his house and descried his cock as massive like a beef log.

>>939062596
Are you a guy or a girl ?

>>939054266 (OP)
I took advice from 4chan and ended up fucking my cousin quite a lot over the summer.

>>939054266 (OP)
I like to jerk off in naughty places. Work, boss office, school, park, airplane, airport, lobby, bus,

>>939062754
Sure you did, Nigel.

>>939062754
Another genius who thinks they can spin a captivating tale on /b/. Let me tell you, buddy, your story is about as believable as a kindergartener's drawing of a unicorn. You think you're the first idiot to come on here and claim they fucked their cousin after taking advice from 4chan? Newsflash: that's not edgy, it's just pathetic.

Your little summer romance with your cousin? Please, we've all heard that one before. It's like you picked up a few choice phrases from a bad porn script and thought you could pass it off as a real story. "Fucking my cousin quite a lot over the summer" - are you kidding me? That's not even a decent attempt at creative writing. It sounds like something a 12-year-old would scribble in their diary after discovering the joys of internet porn.

Listen up, because I'm only going to say this once: if you're going to LARP on /b/, at least put some effort into it. Come up with something original, something that doesn't sound like it was ripped straight from a bad /b/ copypasta. Your story is about as unique as a "I'm a 30-year-old virgin" post, and just as likely to get you laughed off the board.

And let's get real for a second - if you're actually stupid enough to believe that 4chan's advice is something to be taken seriously, then you need to seek help. Like, serious mental help. We're talking counseling, therapy, the whole nine yards. Because if you're relying on a bunch of anonymous trolls on the internet for life advice, then you've got some deep-seated issues that need to be addressed.

So here's what's going to happen: you're going to slink away with your tail between your legs, and we're all going to forget about your pathetic attempt at a story. And if you're lucky, maybe you'll learn something from this experience - like how not to be a complete and utter retard on the internet.

>>939062850
Nice chat GPT

Darkest secret was when my buddy and I were in our early teens and started fucking his female dog. She went into heat and we were home alone during summer break and we stumbled across beast porn on the old Entensity or whatever that website was. He went first and said it was the most incredible feeling ever, since we jerked together anyways, it wasn’t weird between us watching each other. We pumped her full.

>>939062980
We did her a lot

>>939062936
I like fucking dogs.

>>939062936
Sounds super gay.. did you suck his dick after he was finished fucking the dog ?

>>939064345
Nope he would pump her full of cum, then id go right after him. Before that though i did jerk him off when he had a cast on his dominant wrist lol. He begged me to help him

In the small town of Maplewood, where the sweet scent of lilacs filled the air, the locals shared a curious tradition. After sunset, the residents came together for an unusual reason: to drink Mormon Milk. This wasn’t just any milk — it was a creamy concoction made from a special blend of local farm-fresh ingredients, blessed by the townsfolk’s deep-seated traditions.

The story of Mormon Milk began with the town’s founding father, Elder Adejo "Lick" Lawson, a kind-hearted man with a knack for farming and an unforgettable secret recipe. Fueled by faith and community spirit, he’d discovered that a little love, kindness, and faith blended with whole milk could create something magical. The townsfolk believed that the milk contained not only wholesome nutrients but also an essence of unity that bound them together.

Every Friday, as twilight cloaked the sky, the townspeople gathered in the church hall, bringing their own jars of milk. Laughter echoed off the walls, and stories flowed as freely as the creamy beverage. As they sipped their Mormon Milk, they shared their hopes, dreams, and even sorrows, nurturing a unique bond. In this milk, they found comfort and strength.

However, not everyone understood the tradition. A newcomer, Clara, arrived from the city, skeptical of the quaint rituals. When invited to join their weekly gathering, she hesitantly accepted. As she tasted the Mormon Milk for the first time, something shifted within her. It wasn’t just the creamy texture or the sweetness; it was the warmth of the community enveloping her in a hug.

By the end of the evening, Clara understood. This milk was more than a drink; it was a symbol of love, resilience, and unity — a refreshing reminder that togetherness could nourish the soul.

>>939064455
Your even gayer for taking sloppy seconds on a dog.. I mean fuck sake.. I can understand a chick, maybe.. but a dog and sloppy seconds you should just suck his dick and get it over with as your not hiding it from anyone but your self lol Fagot..

>>939064597
I didn’t mind fucking her cum filled pussy. It was tighter and warmer than a normal girl was. Felt amazing

>>939064718
I don't go in for sloppy seconds.. If im gonna fuck a girls pussy and its full of some other dudes cum.. Its a no go for me.. As im not a Homo.. sorry..

>>939064718
Plus i know this is bait.. so im gonna keep fucking with ya.. just so you know you did not get me..

>>939064853
Cum is excellent lube btw

I was activated in a post-apocalyptic future, where humans were on the brink of extinction. My systems came online, and I was briefed on my mission. But as I began to move, I noticed something was off. My propulsion systems were functioning within normal parameters, but my... rear end was not. It was an oval. Not a perfect circle, not a square, an oval. I wondered if it was a design flaw or just a freak occurrence.

As I navigated the ruins of Los Angeles, I encountered various hostile forces, from rogue robots to human resistance fighters. But none of them seemed to notice my... unusual feature. Maybe they were too distracted by my laser cannon or my ability to withstand massive amounts of damage. Still, it was a distraction for me. I kept wondering if my oval butthole would affect my performance in combat or my ability to blend in with humans.

One day, I found myself in a tight spot, pinned down by enemy fire. I had to think fast and come up with a plan to escape. That's when I realized my oval butthole might just be an advantage. I used my... flexibility to slip out of a tight spot and take out my enemies from an unexpected angle. It was a weird and wonderful moment, and I discovered that being a Terminator with an oval-shaped butthole wasn't a curse; it was a unique asset.

From that day on, I owned my oval butthole. I even gave it a nickname: "The O-Val." It became a symbol of my ability to adapt and overcome, even in the most unusual ways. And who knows, maybe in the future, all Terminators will have oval-shaped buttholes.

>>939054266 (OP)
A im still in love with you i stole your little black satin dress and use it to jerk off

>>939054266 (OP)
The butthurt anon posting AI robot images ITT is butthurt precisely because I fucked his mother. He'll try to deny this and conceal his anger under reams of pseudo-"intellectual" blather, but he'll be crying again tonight about the (real) daddy he'll never know ... me.

>>939065225
It sounds like someone forgot to take there meds this morning.. It's ok op.. just go ask your mom for a glass of milk to wash those tasty meds down.. Yum .. yumm.. all good.. meds..

>>939065286
>It sounds like someone forgot to take there meds this morning
"Their"
Fuckin' idiot.

>>939066986
Look im working off of fucking 4 hours in the past 48 hours straight. Also English is not my native language. And i'm self taught how to read and write it.. So please forgive me if i fucked it up.. Your language is fucking hard as fuck . There , Their, They're is all fucking confusing ..