Thread 23119706

Just won an argument.

[got mad, threw an insult, then closed the thread]

i got blisteringly frustrated and upset today. mad, even. but, i am still reminded, through my blind rage, that God is good.

>>23119706 (OP)
it's hard to argue these days man
in english atleast

>>23119741
he aint real tho and you and everyone you love will die and become maggot food, then eventually maggot shit and nothing else

>>23119741
:D

i think the purpose of anger is so we uphold boundaries
the way to honor anger is by protecting the boundary in the future, not getting retribution

whether the boundary is physical property, psychological, something we love, our ability to go about our routine unobstructed, etc

>>23119741
God is good, God is great. Have a blessed day, Brother Anone.

>>23119747
maybe i'm just looking for forgiveness because i can't forgive myself.

>>23119751
that's really fair, but i would have to process your message when i'm not so emotionally disturbed because a lot of my thoughts are just pulling me back to this all consuming anger.

>>23119774
in that case, just try to take care of yourself for now, anon

>>23119773
the good ending

>>23119778
thanks...

>>23119786
ye

that image got me lol

>>23119774
>maybe i'm just looking for forgiveness because i can't forgive myself
its a terribly attractive idea is it not?
to bad its just a load of shit and cant happen
our sins will forever weigh upon us, until we perish, filled with regret and fear of whats to come

>>23119793
it's still worth living, and it's even good to be alive

>>23119803
>and it's even good to be alive
oh is it now?
are you having a good time?
i know im not
and i never will again
if you are capable of happiness still i hope you attain it

>>23119790
saved from an old ylyl

>>23119793
if anything, i'm likely cut off from His grace. i am at His mercy. i don't have forgiveness for myself.

it's more about whether you're okay with the present moment, if htat makes sense
however you are right now, it's never going to get any better or worse than that, everything will only change around you as time passes
if you can make your environment peaceful/hospitable, meet all your needs, and find things to do, that's all you can really do
it's up to you
waking up, tasting food, feeling the sun, maybe reading, hearing different things, creating things
usually if this isn't enough, there's something specific which is very wrong, even if the person can't put their finger on it
maybe some specific person attached to them stressing them the fuck out 24/7, maybe a really crappy apartment with neighbors blasting music, or more subtle things
i don't know
>if you are capable of happiness still i hope you attain it
thanks

>>23119853
>waking up, tasting food, feeling the sun, maybe reading, hearing different things, creating things
i cant enjoy food, i dont get hungry, i despise eating, its a bothersome chore, sometimes i go days whitout eating because i simply dont feel like it, my body is constantly shaking and convulsing because of nerve damage which also makes it near impossible for me to go out and socialize in any sort of way unless im heavily intoxicated, every single waking moment is just horrible and when i sleep there is nothing but nightmares, i dont know why but it feels like tiny ballons are constantly inflating until they pop inside my brain, if there is a surgery to nuke my brain and turn me into an unfeeling zombie i would take it in an instant, anything would be better then this self made little mental hell of mine

>>23119888
have you been to any doctors? like the kind who might give an MRI or other testing?
also, what do you get intoxicated on?

Not reading allat
You get what you deserve, however

>>23119888
as for the nightmares, i guess some drugs could be related, but i remember getting crazy vivid nightmares when i would take too much melatonin in the past, but if not i was fine
there might be a way to fix the nightmares at the very least, is all
also, if you go days without eating sometimes, shaking/convulsing can be a side effect of electrolyte deficiency, mainly magnesium
maybe you know it isn't that though

>>23119897
but you will ANNOUNCE you're not reading it

>>23119893
i have not but i probably should
i mean ive had an MRI for other reasons after i got some severe head trauma a couple years ago so i guess they would have noticed there if anything was wrong but that assumption might be very stupid of me
>what do you get intoxicated on
if i go out i drink before i go out, doesnt matter if im going out with friends or going to the store, i generally dont leave my house sober

>>23119904
How else are they going to know I'm not reading their posts?

>>23119913
>i mean ive had an MRI for other reasons after i got some severe head trauma a couple years ago so i guess they would have noticed there if anything was wrong but that assumption might be very stupid of me
it's much better than a CAT scan, and yeah, it should rule out anything like a past stroke or lesions or brain bleeding or brain damage
but i think there are subtler brain conditions which can require more specific testing
>if i go out i drink before i go out, doesnt matter if im going out with friends or going to the store, i generally dont leave my house sober
i see
i have a friend whose similar
definitely could be worse drugs, atleast

>>23119922
they don't need to know

unless you care about hurting them emotionally like a BPD teenage girl would, lol

>>23119923
my diet probably has alot to do with my issues
i wish i could get some reverse ozempic prescribed that would make me hungry instead
between the moment of typing this and tuesday i have eaten half a pizza, thats it

>>23119923
i have the other half in my fridge still
i bought it thursday
i just havent felt like eating it yet

>>23119946
i'm much more confident that these symptoms are electrolyte deficiency, then
they sound exactly like what happens during a 3 day fast if you don't take any sodium or potassium or magnesium
if you don't want to eat eat, you can atleast try supplementing electrolytes
you can buy canisters of "lite salt" at any store, it's a mixture of salt and potassium chloride, and for the others you can take a pill or whatever
brain fog, muscle convulsions, lightheadedness, joint pain, fatigue, should all improve greatly

https://old.reddit.com/r/fasting/wiki/fasting_in_a_nutshell/you_need_electrolytes
i know it's le reddit and everything, but i always use this as a reference
you could atleast check and see if any of the symptoms line up with what you go through

>>23119954
thanks ill give it a go
i have nothing to lose at this point anyway

>>23119957
ye
it may not help but it should be worth experimenting with that
also remember alcohol fucks with your stomach and galbladder, it might make it more difficult to eat
gotta pay attention to the timing and symptoms of all these different things if you wanna figure things out

>>23119706 (OP)
No you didnt retard

>>23119957
of course none of this explains the nightmares, but yeah
good luck anon

>>23119961
man it would be so much easier just killing myself
but some family members would be sad so i cant
i guess ill try sorting things out again, i can always off myself some other time if it doesnt work out

>>23119966
thanks i guess
ill try

>>23119968
>i can always off myself some other time if it doesnt work out
that is very true
along with any other number of drastic options to change things
it's good to remember that, you have the freedom to choose at any point
>but some family members would be sad so i cant
i understand how this might sound, but i think it's better not to take familiy into account for certain decisions, especially when deciding what's right for you, and especially when you're in a position where your needs aren't met
you have to put on your own oxygen mask first, and if you're getting to a poitn where you're happy, any family who cares about you will understand in the end
shit idk really

>i guess ill try sorting things out again
>>23119970
>thanks i guess
>ill try
try to look at the tasks as a friend or older sibling telling you what might be good to do, rather than a todo list
idk if that makes sense
i'm just saying, it's easy not to be motivated if you just see it as pointless work
fuck i don't know how to communicate what i'm trying to

i never know what to say, it just sounds like generic crap advice

>>23119986
>i think it's better not to take familiy into account for certain decisions, especially when deciding what's right for you, and especially when you're in a position where your needs aren't met
is that so?
maybe i need to reconsider some things then
not sure if ill be posting again, or if ill be doing anything for that matter
thanks for your time and goodbye

>>23120004
i hope youi try electrolyte supplements

tghat is some compelling art but check this out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=an_0IIRDlc4