Thread 23273862

Have you ever had a crush on a 4chan poster?

everyone who will reply to this thread seriously is on the fucking spectrum

>>23273862 (OP)
Yes
>>23273876
Yes

>>23273876
you kind of just called yourself autistic considering how angry you got

>>23273862 (OP)
The kuwaiit cow

>>23273876
This but with all of bant

>>23273882
Who is it?

>>23273898
A cute macaco brazilian but I find a couple of other posters here cute too

>>23273910
Something tells me that you get feelings for anything that looks remotely cute.

>>23273876
you just described everyone on this board

it's not so much a crush as it is an infatuation which develops into unhealthy obsession that i use as a crutch for my crippled self esteem

>>23273876
flippy blippy

>>23273939
Yes

>>23273892
she's beautiful
>>23273975
eheheh

Unfortunately. Most of them have lost my attention or disappeared though.

>>23273979
That sounds really unhealthy anon.

>>23273982
Name all of them

>>23273985
Always thought you like mycroft in a gay way

>>23273990
How could you not know? We've gone back and forth for a while now.
https://archive.palanq.win/bant/thread/13357454/#q13359008
I wasn't talking about croft though.

>>23273990
No

>>23274013
Mycroft stocks are plummeting right now

>>23274021
Coward

>>23274025
You’re getting on the list

>>23274025
I'll die holding this bag it seems.

>>23273990
my life is characterized by dysfunction. the only thing that i am able to maintain with any sense of functionality, is my car. nobody wants that hunk of scrap to survive but me.

>>23274025
i THOUGHT NORMIE USED THIS IMAGE

>>23274052
image reminds me of katana zero

>>23274059
hey did you make this post: >>23274053

>>23274062
i did not

>>23274069
writing this down

>>23274049
Must be a really long list then

>>23274052
At least you have a bag to clutch

>>23274053
>it's not so much a crush as it is an infatuation which develops into unhealthy obsession that i use as a crutch for my crippled self esteem
Well I already knew that was how YOU worked desu
I had to get a new car last week because mine died

>>23274059
dumbass

>>23274078
>I had to get a new car last week because mine died
how long did the old one serve you?
>>23274053
you can hopefully live in that thing if you have to

>>23274078
I don’t even know which anime poster you are but anime posters are cute, except for normie and futasuck that is

>>23274105
nuh uh

>>23273862 (OP)
That'd be really lame and sad

>>23274111
checked
>hairless creature.png
chibi judge holden

>>23274111
Have you seen normie? Will you let him anywhere near your pussy?

>>23274078
what car... how did your last die? i would hope to imagine Sako driving a nice and ergonomic kia.

>>23274085
not before the insurance expires and the cranky policemen call the cranky towtruck drivers to tow it away.

>>23274124
I mean the first part, I agree those are probably unfavorable people, aesthetically speaking

>>23274128
Which poster here are you letting near your pussy

>>23274141
the things here might eat my cat

>>23273910
Quote one of his posts, I'm curious now

>>23274085
Like 10 years

>>23274105
We should keep it that way for as long as possible

>>23274115
Maybe but its probably normal for lonely people

>>23274126
Basically the grumpy police man pulled me over and said I couldn't drive my car anymore unless I pass a state inspection. Passing that would have cost more than the car was worth so I just got a brand new one with less than 30 miles on it from some super young car salesman. The model of it isn't important.

>>23273876
Well, you might have a point, matey.

>>23274151
I forgot, he used to talk to me a lot in my namefag era
>>23274152
Just realised you’re Sako, you’re not on the rape list no mo

>>23274173
Why? I'm just as rapable as the next kitten

Every single time a cute brazilian fag reply to me using anime pictures.

>>23274078
One does not simply hold a Mycroft. They're ephemeral creatures prone to impulsive actions and whimsy.

>>23274203
Maybe so
>>23274217
>anime reaction image
>esl nigger english
This is why I tend to like brazilian flags so much

>>23274217
The one that posts Erika and Bern is the cutest monkey

>>23274231
Isn't he like 6'6 or something? Idk how I'd feel about having a bottom tower over me like that.

>>23274232
Its a fact

>>23274249
Imagine trying to get me to compromise the privacy of a good friend. Mad lad.

>>23274249
>Isn't he like 6'6
6’6 and a twink doesn’t go well, the skinny feminine aristocratic beauty of a twink only suits 5’10 or shorter doe
>its a fact
The reason you’re such a bad kitten is that you never post waist

>>23274258
He told me once but I forgot
Doubt he gives a fuck

>>23274258
So he’s 5’6?

>>23274152
I am a lonely person
I just refuse to be romantically attached to someone on 4chan

>>23274267
Is it 5'10 because you're 5'11? Pretty sure any height is fine as long as they're shorter than you.

>>23274284
But what if they're your soul mate? Love is love or something.

>>23274232
I'm a bit late for this, but can I be on the rape list? I read the entire thread now and I'm feeling jealous of the other kittens

>>23274313
You just made mine.

>>23274301
Anon, this is 4chan
If my destined love or some shit is somewhere here, nothing she says to me as an anon is going to convince me of that fact.

>>23274301
>Is it 5'10 because you're 5'11
No i came up with it because it’s the only logical height where a male can be skinny and feminine without being lanky and stick looking
>>23274313
Yes I like your flag very much

>>23273862 (OP)
That fat bitch that posts her tits has some pretty nice tits

>>23274320
Stop stealing my fucking targets
Just remembered that the macaco once asked for my cord but I refused.
Sigh fuck my truecel life

>>23274269
>>23274273
If he wanted yall to know he'd tell you.

>>23274152
chat he is still afraid of the prolific /b/ gangstalkers...

i was just curious about the model/brand because you can tell a lot about a person by what car they drive, but i won't press you for the details

>>23274320
>>23274333
Thankyu both!!

>>23273862 (OP)
no

>>23273862 (OP)
also once
it's ill advised to get attached to random strangers

>>23274327
I don't see how that makes it any different from other social media where plenty of people have found wives/husbands.

>>23274333
From what I've seen you're pretty much a stick yourself

>>23274336
chesticles aren't attractive sorry

>>23274340
Why would you refuse? I'd add this kitten >>23274355 on the 'cord if they'd let me.

>>23274350
They have already told me once. Thats kind of how I forgot in the first place.

>>23274355
If they poke me I'll leak the skype logs

Is it true that you can tell the race of a person by what car they drive? I used to drive a red 3 series BMW everywhere. My favorite part about it was that I had it fully paid off.

>>23274357
Don't post waist for him

>>23274387
I just read the log of you confessing your love for Normie.

>>23274391
Was it a bantoid?

Why in the goddamn fuck-

>>23274395
i thought it was obvious that was supposed to be a joke

>>23274395
Stop bring that up I swear to Yahweh. I was 15 in it
>Why would you refuse?
Because I’m stupid and already had too much on my ‘cord plate
>if they’d let me
Ask xer then, pussy

>>23274395
yes
though long since moved on

>>23274395
>he believes the brats on face value
How cute.

>>23274414
Looks heartfelt to me

>>23274395
You don't even have to make an account here

>>23274417
Who was it doe

>>23274431
gone
matters not pushing foward unless they come back.

>>23274408
The Figger fluoride stare

>>23274414
Seemed like you were really pouring your heart out 2 me

>>23274416
Doubt you've grown much since then since you won't post an updated stick arms pic
>Ask xer then, pussy
I have and they said no. My heart has been broken beyond repair.

>>23274417
Can you say which one it was? The lore got me curious

>>23274419
I'll believe pretty much anything people tell me.

>>23274425
They're still the same person with or without a reddit gold account

>>23274452
That's right you know better than to speak that name in my presence. Good boy.

>>23274395
elliot bros...

it is true. lately, i learned that the mexicans love nissan and the blacks love chrysler 300's.

No one said me :<

>>23274476
youre not in this episode

I posted my penis on b once I'm sure some freaks out there got a crush from that

>>23274463
it only seems that way because ur stupid

>>23273862 (OP)
Yeah, quagsire from /v/
He drew the "japan time" memes

>>23274463
Once again, after the waist
>>23274452
Drop the name nig
>>23274473

>>23274486
That's a fact really

>>23274510
youre so needy, DC5

>>23274463
That's not a good way to live.

>>23274469
moreso opsec keeping.
the last person who knew with loose lips got interpol'd or something.
clean slate so to speak, and they are safer for it.

>>23274473
If he can't get pussy then the rest of us lesser chudcels are completely doomed.

All the mexicans here drive low rider trucks and constantly scrape the bottom on every little bump. Literally nobody thinks it looks cool other than mexicans.

>>23274492
I maybe stupid but you're clearly in love with Normie

>>23274500
I always assume pokemon posters are pheromonemaxxing

>>23274510
Don't have one sorry

>>23274522
Maybe, maybe, but its my life

>>23274463
I wouldn't fall in love with a redditor either
We'd need to interact in a completely different context before I even considered the possibility

>>23274469
>>23274530
what in the fuck happened here...

>>23274580
sIP ID
don't worry about it, /bant/ eras in the past.

>>23274562
>We'd need to interact in a completely different context before I even considered the possibility
Thats why you get their information so you can talk in private

>>23274610
i see

>>23274543
/bnat/ roadtrip when...

>>23274618
cup too big

>>23274615
I wouldn't let myself get attached to the point of caring about that
We'd need to connect for a better reason than "I have stupidly let myself develop a crush over anonymous text on a screen"

>>23274633
You just won’t get it
Online r/bant love is comparable to first time teen love

>>23274629
*sips loudly*

i just finished my third espresso
or it might be sixth technically, idk
i use the moka pot & drink everything it produces, and i've done that three times today

>>23274628
Its hard to plan anything with faceless ghosts sorry

>>23274633
Its called talking to people and forming a human connection. You can do that literally anywhere as long as the other person is willing to speak with you.

>>23274639
First time teen love is notable because you don't understand it yet when you have it
It's nothing special in its own right

>>23274657
This has motivated me to go make coffee

>>23274671
tasty for you

>>23274671
you would

>>23274530
Smart. Glad to see youre not being foolish anymore.
>>23274543
Can I borrow it? I'd like to know what it's like to be poor again.
>>23274580
Authoritative arm pumping over subordinates. Nothing to see here.

>>23274659
I'm aware that I can. The difference is I won't. It's a choice made based on the context we're talking about.

>>23274667
>doesn’t get teen love
>doesnt get online imageboard ‘cord love
Your problem is that you don’t believe

No one has a crush on me? Y not? D:

>>23274712
post your work again

>>23274685
Don't try to flex on us poor little EMS workers. No you cannot drive the ambulance 100 mph like I do.

>>23274691
Seems like you're closing a door for no real reason 2 me. You do you though its your life.

>>23274716

This isn't /ic/.

Gentle reminder to anyone considering having a crush on salva ji

>>23274712
Because your fetishes are very niche and you haven't shared anything with us to form emotions.
Hell we know more about pit sniffer than you.

>>23274729
post it NOW

>>23274731
Forgot image sigh

I miss kanae

>>23274718
Aww hella I've thought about becoming an EMS. Tech got to me first. Tell you what I'll drive the woowoo if you'll fly to Guadalajara to push a button then fly back to the states.

>>23274740
built for bolted on boy tits

>>23274695
I believe
I just also try to understand

>>23274751
Maybe salva ji and brahmin boymoder should get in touch, I think he’d love boymoder tits

>>23274718
Not at all, the door was closed to begin with, I'm just weighing my odds and choosing not to make the gamble and waste my time and energy with holding it open

>>23274659
hidoi...

>>23274751
Ew
No
Fuck that

>>23274685
he says to the king of stupid bullshit threads

>>23274794
boy my head still hurts I keep forgetting to fix it

>>23274747
Its great if you don't mind working all of your hours at once and the dead bodies.

>>23274764
he'd probably love his natural boy tits desu

>>23274787
I'm sorry kitten
Thats just how it is
Wasn't my choice
Wish it was different

>>23274771
What if they're really cute like a 10/10 bangin' femcel gf

>>23274788
His fetish not mine

>>23274804
sleep

>>23274829
off to the fish and bugs I gooooo
>>23274729
pyw

>>23274732

I guess you're right. But then again, I kinda don't give a shit about connecting with people from the worst website on Earth, many of which at a point where not even God can save them. I've already made a deal with the devil by being here. I just want to do what's asked for me from above and save the people who can be saved and then that's the end of it.

>Not good enough for Simon Salva
Its over for me

>>23274881

Have we met?

>>23274890

I mean, you're very likely saying this in jest but still.

>>23274837

This is not /ic/.

>>23274794

Yeah, that's (You).

and we never will

>>23274823
>kitten
very funny, jester.

>>23274844
he thinks he made a deal with the devil
boi

>>23274823
I don't have the delusion to think I have a chance with her or that she's going to give me a chance out of all the random freaks hitting on her
Women who post themselves online aren't worth pursuing as someone online (depending on specifics probably not worth pursuing in person either but that's a different question entirely)
You've gotta understand what kind of gambles you're making

>>23274922
Nothing wrong with masking the truth in a little irony

>>23274823
Anon. I love dead bodies. Sign me up.
>>23274844
Meds. Schizo. BWC.

>>23274543
i don't love

>>23275020
song title drop
https://youtu.be/bExFkJezqxE?si=KZQVFX73YKtgxObE

>>23275016

I'm not a schizo, I don't need "meds".

Anyways, it's true. No one gives a shit if you do something noble in today's world, like spreading God's word to lost people. But apparently everyone will admire you if you do something asinine or degenerate. All eyes on the idiot, all eyes on the prostitute, all eyes on the God-haters.

>>23275004
I understand fully what kinds of gambles I'm taking and the risks are calculated.

>>23275016
You'd probably fit in with the rest of the mentally ill freaks I work with desu. One guy got caught jorking it over an unconscious lady while they were taking her to the ER. Everyone that works this job is insane in some way.

>>23275020
I pity the man who can't feel love

>>23274922
Why don’t you add him on the cord
He’s very patient you know, id be sending rape threats at this point

>>23275001
eheheh

>>23275069
They may be calculated
But you are bad at math

>>23275067
>sky daddy tells me what to do
Christ cuck schizo with an imaginary friend believing in fairy tales written by old men who didn't want to to touch your dick or wear mixed fabrics.
>>23275069
I hope that guy got fired. Idk if there's a law for shit like that but it feels like there should be. I don't really get along with people like that. I'm just not shocked at dead bodies. I've been on the production side of corpses and you don't make em while having a weak stomach.
You'd get along well in my office. My whole team sits in two offices and doesn't talk to each other unless we need something. It's an introverts dream.

>>23275067
>No one gives a shit if you do something noble in today's world, like spreading God's word to lost people.
i give a shit
plenty of people give a shit, anon

>>23275069
it is what it is

>>23275014
what did he mean by this chat

>>23275084
bhaharatmoder

>>23275084
Don't bother them about it
I've given up
is what it is
They can do whatever they want

>>23275106
Thats a risk I'm willing to take

>>23275126
I'm not really sure what happened to him since he was at a different station. It was one of those things you hear through the grape vine. If you ever crash the ambulance everyone is going to hear about it in a 100 mile radius.

What do you even do in tech?

>>23275145
Wrong. It is what you make of it.

>>23275163
Don't worry about it

and i guess i thought i'd feel something but i didn’t

>>23274844
also you need to calm down
take a breath
and stop considering your fellow posters beneath you.
that has backfired in the faces of everyone who's ever tried to take over this board ever.
don't be one of those self defeating clowns, you can be one of us and nobody has to be like you.

>>23275177
highly worrying statement

If I do get a bf from irl dalitia, how will I ever introduce him to 4chan and bant culture

>>23275219
Is what it is

>>23275261
>If I do get a bf
you don't have to worry about that

>>23275177
I'm a network engineer so I design, deploy and maintain enterprise networks. Day to day it's monitoring the network for outages and fixing them, white listing IP's on our firewall for clients and planning updates to infrastructure.
I have an office in Vegas another in Mexico and a DMZ in California with bare metal so sometimes I'll run through the DMZ migrating our bare metal hosts.
I do a lot more like systems administration and project management that makes me more like an IT infrastructure specialist.

>>23275283
I will

>>23275301
unlikely

Krewl world

>>23275295
So you're a desk jockey

>>23275274
perception failed...

>>23275328
unrealistic liquid physics

>>23275328
Depends what you consider a desk jockey to be. Unlike programmers I work with hardware almost exclusively hence infrastructure. I don't just push some buttons and boom you now have a network. In short I'm the dude who builds the server rack and the one who configures it. That means I run drops, pull cable, mount hardware into the rack and setup all the connections in the "server room".
A desk jockey wouldn't do half the shit I do.

vomits
>>23275067
boy pyw or imma rape

>>23275337
Maybe try wisdom or int and you'll figure it out. You're a smart boy.

>>23275338
Didn't ask + you're gay

>>23275373
Well I took a networking class at college once so I have a basic understanding of some of this stuff I guess. It was really boring though and I hated it so I dropped out and decided to do something else.

>>23275373
>>23275433

>>23275438
The paranoia hitting again?

>>23275433
Dang you missed out on easy money. The only thing I envy about your work is you get to drive the woowoo. That's pretty cool.
>>23275438
Is the melon good?

>>23275470
Have you considered the fact that I also get paid to sleep and fun post? If I get at least 4 hours of sleep at work then I don't have to sleep when I get home.

>>23275469
i just wish i had a job like these
but idk
>>23275470
tasty

>>23275373
dick jockey

>>23275496
The very same only I have my own office too so I can be left alone. I don't have to talk to anyone if I don't want to. You have to go out and touch people who think they're having a heart attack.
>>23275511
You can but you have to put in the work to acquire valuable skills. Anon went to school and I'm self taught.

>>23275519
Am not I'm the top you're the dick jockey

jesus christ shoot me

>>23275511
Apply

>>23275526
Well I've got my own room with my own blankets and pillows on it.
>I don't have to talk to anyone if I don't want to.
Counter point
I haven't seen my boss in months

add bed into that somewhere

I imagine a hardwood floor and the thinnest sheets known to man

>>23273862 (OP)
for a short while, a schizoid girl in another board
but aside from her, in my 11 ish years of being a newfag, not really
it's nice to hang out with anons but to crush on someone is difficult

>>23275534
i don't jockey

>>23275610
I mean I do too at home. I've got blankets and a pillow in the MDF if I want to go like that. It maintains a 65 degree temp so it's super comf. There's also beanbags all over the office so I can sleep on one of those if I want.
>I haven't seen my boss in months.
Ooh that's a good one but I actually don't hate my boss. I only answer to the CTO and he's a bro. I see him every week but that's just a corporate pop in to say hi.
In addition to that my boss is the one who pays for and sets up our department outings and he won't go anywhere we can't drink so a couple times a month I'm getting pissed on the companies dime. I've almost become sick of champagne and Johnny walker blue label.
Bonus: I get free trips to Mexico like cancun Cabo and Puerto Vallarta where I spend about 2 hours working then 3 days at a 5 star resort.
>>23275716
You're right you ride dick like a rodeo star.

>>23275534
>if i make him laugh he might stop yapping
CHICKEN JAKEY

naaah blud that's it I'm getting the cyanide pills :skull: wilted rose emoji

>>23273862 (OP)
No, I like girls sorry anon

>>23275874
*autistically chimps out shouting and throwing popcorn everywhere*
CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKEM JOCKEY

>>23275898
Can I help you sir?

>>23275857
i don't ride

just noticed the faye is all

>>23275888
adventure time good but knd had better analogies

May or maynot be all yapped out

>>23275961
knd?

>>23275969
kids next door
underrated cartoon network fiction

>>23276018
oh ty

>>23275964
Was fun blood. Was old bant in here for a time with a bunch of goofy dudes just chillin.

>>23276023
i remember triangles
i remember pinkybong
i remember shitpost
i am their living legacy

>>23276094
SHIT POST is a Jesus freak now. I guess that's what happens after you fool around with devils.

>>23276113
you don't say
the guy trying to emulate hosts sunday confession and tries to redeem people.

>>23273862 (OP)
I was once pissed of by Heaven(the oldest van poster to r/banter). We eventually met in person,after much interest detective work and a hacking, I was going to kill him at the time, but when we met he was a mostly chill guy even after I broke 8 of his ribs. we're still in contact even though he's left /bant/. I called him 3 weeks ago and him and his asian wife are still getting used to having a kid.

>>23276123
Idk what he's up to now. After we broke up i haven't talked to him. I get info from my people. I wouldn't doubt if he's still here just not using a name.

>>23276113
狗屎帖子處女Mary襪子 (DO NOT RESEARCH)

>>23276158
they're not truly dead of at least one person remembers them
/bant/ers don't die, they go mia.

>>23276181
当我骚扰你的时候 你会后悔这样跟我说话 Bing chilling

>>23276158
i for one feel optimistic about the new population regen
sure it has it's new hellish abominations to deal with but there's also a bunch of peoplewho can feel on the level i can, (i can't explain)

>>23276238
i don't 悔

>>23276211
checked

no. but there was this anon on /r9k/ who always hornyposted about some big tiddy woman from nikke the goddess of victory or whatever. it was some gacha slop? idk. and i thought his posts were really fucking hot. i recall there even was a thread where me and him just talked about sex. me taking his cock in my mouth. him shooting his load into it... i was quite obsessed with the scenario. he just stopped posting one day. i got hard writing this lol. pic unrelated.

that's not love. that's just interest.

Not a crush, but one time I was browsing /soc/ and I found a girl in a face rate thread that I found very pretty.
Nothing special and not really very conventionally attractive, but to me, she was very cute. Very much my type.
When I see a girl like that, I just want to raise her onto my shoulder and take her away.

Just found the picture through the archives. She looks chuddy and I love it.
I hope that I'll meet a girl like this some day.

>>23276377
She looks mentally ill AF. Typical femcel archetype as some dude said in the thread.
I'd totally take a girl like that and make her a mother of five.

>>23273862 (OP)
Not really, only a few Anons I could relate to at best.

I had a crush on an irl friend of a friend and lost a lot of weight, got a proper Skincare routine, but I don't think he's interested, don't wanna nuke my friend circle because of this silly business.

>>23273862 (OP)
>Have you ever had a crush on a 4chan poster?
Yes.
Myself

>>23274013
>>23274414
kinda pathetic on normie's part tbdesu
>>23276158
>After we broke up
did you edate Shit Post, what

>>23273862 (OP)
Yes but I won't say who because they might read this thread

>>23276326
玩危险的游戏你会赢得可怕的奖品
now run along you silly bingus
>>23276564
>did you edate Shit Post, what
I knew everything about him. Where he worked, what he looked like, where he lived and all the dirty secrets nobody knows but us. We were all but physically together for a couple years.
Was a time and a half. My only regret is not actually flying out to see him and get turned out. He's a beast of a man. Would mog all of you.
Anon I've been dating out of /bant/ from the very beginning. You should know this unless you're brand new.

toby >.<

>>23277122
Maguire?

>>23273862 (OP)
yes, not on bant though

>>23277841
Which board has the hotties?

>>23275384

This is not /ic/.

Homo thread+full of GROSS namefags!

>>23279618
why did you bump the homo thread full of gross namefags?